A Lesson in Firsts | alternate ending
Resident!Dr. Michael “Robby” Robinavitch x resident!f!reader
Alternate ending of A Lesson in Vulnerability, but can be read as a standalone.
Summary: A positive pregnancy test flips your life on its head. You try to take it one step at a time.
[ My Masterlist ]
Note: Expect some things inspired by this Robby and Reader! I can’t stop thinking about the possibilities lol
sorry she took awhile, she turned into something else while I was writing lol the ideas kept coming (gender was a coin toss, so don’t be upset with me)
Enjoy this monster💜she was so fun to write
Word Count: 8.2k
Most of my works are 18+ due to adult language and content
Warnings: afab!reader, established relationship, foul language, unplanned pregnancy, medical inaccuracies, ANGST, reader & robby disappointing their parents, fluff, SMUT (MINORS DNI), pregnancy sex/unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!!), p in v, pet name (sweetheart), hospital mentions, violence at said hospital/combative patient, it’s the 90s, vague birth descriptions, I’ve never been pregnant so forgive any errors
not beta read !
It was reassuring to have Michael by your side, holding you steady in his tiny bathroom as you both waited to see what your future may hold. After puking at the hospital and realizing how late you were, the next course of action was logically this: taking a pregnancy test in Michael Robinavitch’s apartment.
You were thankful he was there, but worries ate at your mind. While he had promised to stick by your side regardless of the results, you wondered how much you could believe him. That didn’t even begin to touch your worries about your residency, and to an extent, his as well. You hoped your life didn’t have to change — you hoped you could figure out your relationship with Michael on your own terms, not by something now out of your control.
“Are you ready?” He asked gently beside you.
You were not, but you nodded regardless.
You both stared down at the tests, two little pink lines on each staring back at you. All three showed positive.
You were pregnant. You nearly threw up again.
“Are you sure it’s mine?” Was out of his mouth before he could think about it.
“Do you want to keep it?” Was out of yours before you could process the question.
You both stared at each other for a long time as you silently digested his question. How on earth could he think it was someone else’s? Sure, you weren’t in an official relationship, you were in…well, you weren’t certain what you were to each other. He cared about you. You cared about him. But other than whispered words, you felt like you had no leg to stand on with whatever this was or was going to be.
“You think I’d tell you I thought I was pregnant if I didn’t know it was yours?” You whispered, irritation building. “I’ve only been sleeping with you.”
His dark brown eyes watched you like he was still thinking — and your brain was running a mile a minute. You found annoyance was the first emotion you had begun to process, wondering if his doubt was simple shock or something more. The second thing you digested was your fear for the glaring unknown future you now had to face. The third thing was sheer panic, making your knees shake.
You moved out of his tiny bathroom, the walls slowly starting to cave in on you. Would he really stay with you? Help you? Face this with you? Your chest felt tight and you had the urge to cry.
“Hey, hey,” Michael followed you, putting his hands on your arms. “We’re in this together, yeah?”
“You thought—fuck.” Tears came, blurring your vision, forcing you to blink rapidly and turn away from him.
He let out a long sigh, “I know, I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting—”
Even through your teary gaze, you found his eyes. He blinked quickly, but you caught the emotion setting in, tears building. You wrapped your arms around his neck and cried, and while you could not feel him crying, a few drops of tears landed on your shoulder. You gripped him tighter.
“I’m so sorry.” You breathed out against his shoulder, trying not to hyperventilate.
Michael stilled in your arms, moving his arms from around your middle and looking at you in the eyes. His brows were drawn together, tear tracks on his cheeks. “It’s not your fault.”
“No, no. I could’ve—we might’ve—I—”
He shushed you, bringing you back into his chest.
“I don’t want to ruin your life.” You whispered. “I guess I could—”
“What? No. No. I’m not going anywhere.” He swallowed, bringing a hand to your head and holding you close. “I’m more worried I ruined your life. Your residency.”
You exhaled, all the air leaving your lungs as you thought about it. You would likely be able to finish your second year before needing to take any time, but who knew about your third year. Maybe they would let you continue without much hassle. But childcare—the money to raise a child.
You held each other for a long time, worries bleeding together, but he never let you go. Not once.
When you finally moved, your tears had dried, but the weight in your chest had not dissipated. He moved silently behind you, both of you settling in his kitchen, leaning against the countertop while he started some hot water.
You knew you both were going to have to have a deeper conversation about this — you were going to have to come up with a plan. Despite how devastated you were at the results, both of you seemed to be on the same page about keeping it. A baby.
Your baby.
—
The first OBGYN appointment came with a flood of nerves, uncertainties crashing together. Michael had been unfocused throughout your night shift together, but both of you had decided several nights before to keep your relationship as private as possible. You both taking that part step-by-step, wading through the water of your new circumstances with small, careful movements.
After the nurse took urine and blood, you ensured that your OB didn’t do any work at Big Charity — not wanting to get the two lines of your life crossed. You were relieved to find she did not.
She was cheery when she entered, subtly taking in your energies and bringing a sense of calm. No judgement crossed her face, but she did ask about your residency after reading your file.
“Well we’ll start with a pelvic exam, and then make sure there’s proper placement in the uterus with ultrasound. Then we’ll go over your medical history, alright?” Dr. Lyons said, moving to grab the machine and get the gel.
You only nodded silently at her, still having a hard time processing it all. Michael squeezed your hand, bringing you out of your head.
“Are you a resident, as well?” Dr. Lyons asked casually, squirting some gel onto your stomach.
Michael cleared his throat, “Yeah, year three.”
“Very nice, what specialty?”
“Emergency department,” He said, small smile forming. Despite the circumstances, you knew he was proud of it. “It’s how we met.”
She got the transducer ready with a hum, “That can be very stressful.” She eyed you only briefly.
“I can cope.” You told her, but after a moment, you felt like you were more trying to convince yourself. Stress and pregnancy? Bad mix.
Her smile returned, “Just keep an eye on her blood pressure, yeah?”
Michael nodded, eyes going to the screen once she started. She was unable to see much detail, and so she switched you over to a transvaginal ultrasound. It was grainy, but the unmistakable form of a fetus took center stage.
“Measuring at about 3.1cm,” Dr. Lyons said. “About seven weeks, I’d say, based on your last menstrual period.”
Michael’s grip got tighter and you looked away from the screen to peek at his face. You found tears in his eyes, and he looked like he was trying not to cry. You rubbed your thumb over his fingers.
“Let me get the doppler, hear that heart activity.” She gave you a few tissues and allowed you to scoot back up the exam table.
The sound of your baby’s heart filled the room, racing like a speeding train at 119bpm. It filled your heart up with warmth and tears leaked from your eyes.
After your exam, Dr. Lyons gave you some more information, went over her concerns with your stress levels and a few prenatals she wanted you to take. You assured her that your residency would not interfere and she sent you on your way — scheduling for another appointment in four weeks.
In the quiet of his car, Michael grabbed your hand. “We’re having a baby. We’re really having a fuckin’ baby.”
You chuckled, wiping a tear from your cheek. “We’re going to be parents.”
—
“A shotgun wedding is awfully cliche.” You said one afternoon on Michael’s couch, channel surfing. “My mom would be so disappointed.”
Michael walked into his living room with a sandwich, ham and cheese by the look of it. Your stomach grumbled, eyes trying to focus on the television as he took a seat beside you.
“I live to be a disappointment.” He said with a shrug and a smirk, biting into his sandwich.
You huffed a laugh, “Seriously though. I think we should put that thought to rest for now.”
“Oh, don’t wanna marry me now, huh?” His tone was light.
You hummed, your hormones flaring within you, suddenly souring your mood. “I don’t want you to marry me just because I’m having your baby.”
He looked over at you in surprise at your shift in mood. “Are you alright?”
You huffed, turning your eyes away from him. “What are we really even doing, Michael? We have no plan, no fucking money, loans up the ass…what? You gonna stay with me because you knocked me up?”
“What the hell has gotten into you? I thought we decided to try this out?” He placed the plate down onto the coffee table to give you his full attention.
“What the hell has gotten into me?” You scoffed, barely looking at him. “I’m trying to be realistic here.”
“It feels like you’re doubting everything I’ve been telling you.”
“Most of what you told me was in your bathroom, before we found out. You said you’d try and I still feel like we barely know each other.”
“I think I’ve made it obvious how I felt.” He said, tone low, eyes burning the side of your face.
“Oh, did you? I must’ve lost the memo.” Now you were just being mean, but you couldn’t help it. Doubts had been eating away at your mind, and you had been terrible about voicing them. A crippling flaw, it seemed.
“I don’t care about you just because you’re fucking pregnant with my baby. Jesus Christ.” He stood quickly, running a hand through his hair.
The tears came unexpectedly; you blinked once, barely registering his words and his tone, and then there they were, blurring your vision.
He stalked back into the kitchen, footfalls heavy, shoulders rigid. You watched him go.
Part of you wanted to sink into the couch and be swallowed whole. The other part of you wanted to rise to follow him. You felt stuck between both — fear and anger equally eating you alive. You moved to flee instead, avoiding both altogether.
Despite your blurry vision, you found your bag filled with extra clothes next to your purse.
He was on you in an instant, “No, no, no.” His tone was still hard, annoyance coming off him in waves. “We’re gonna sit down and talk about this like adults.”
Your eyes did not move from your hand and his on the strap of your bag, tears freefalling. One hit the top of his hand and he let out a long sigh. With his other hand, he tipped your head up so you would look at him instead of the floor.
“Come on, talk to me.” He said softly, the frustration on his face giving way to concern. “Where did this come from?”
You struggled to find your voice, though when you did, there was really no explanation. “I—” You broke down, a sob coming from your lips as you tried to look away from him again.
He brought you into a hug, bag dropping back to the floor, forgotten about. He kissed your hairline and shushed you.
It was too much. Neither of you had even told anyone yet, or discussed much more than vague details of your plan. It was still early, you both had said after your first appointment, we have time. It felt so foolish now, dancing around your problems like neither of you had learned anything in that bathroom a week ago. Like hiding your feelings was still a suitable option.
“I—I’m sorry,” you cried. “I didn’t—I didn’t mean to take that out on you.”
He hummed against your hairline, “Thank you for your apology. Just breathe for me.”
You followed his advice, taking a deep breath in and then releasing it. It did little to solve the tension in your shoulders.
When you looked at him, he brushed your tears away with his thumbs. “Do you wanna sit and talk about it?”
You nodded silently and you moved back to the couch. You sat quietly for a few minutes, fiddling with your fingers.
“I’m just having my doubts, you know?” You let out a shaky breath. “Like this is still so new and I don’t know. There’s still things to figure out. I don’t want to rush this between us, but I don’t know—it’s just another uncertainty and it’s making me so anxious.”
He processed your words with pursed lips, watching you with those pretty brown eyes of his. He fully turned toward you and grabbed your hands in his.
“This won’t be easy, but I want to be by your side. I want to be in your life. I care about you and I have long before we found out.” He took a breath. “I don’t want to rush our relationship either, but I want you here. I want you to let me in.”
You met his eyes, “I want you to let me in, too.”
He smiled, “Are you busy tomorrow?”
—
The pizza place was not the intention for your first official date together, but you took one step into the place Michael had chosen and nearly thrown up. The meats cooking seemed to strike straight to your stomach, and the nausea was immediate. He had worriedly ushered you out of the nice restaurant, rubbing your back while you leaned over, hands on your knees trying to breathe.
No vomit came, thankfully, that would have been so embarrassing.
“I’m so sorry,” you choked out. “That place was lovely, I swear.”
He did not take it to heart, hand not moving from your back. “Don’t sweat it.”
Hunger grumbled in your stomach, and a few store fronts down was a little pizza spot. The smell of cheese and yeast was actually a welcomed one when you stepped inside. You both looked a little overdressed for it, but you sat down after ordering a few slices without being fazed.
“Are you looking forward to your fourth year?” You asked, sipping your clear soda — Michael insisting, even after you assured him your stomach had settled.
“I am,” He nodded, “Is it weird I still feel wildly underprepared?”
You shook your head, “You? You’re the best person we’ve got in there aside from Dr. Long.”
He blushed heavily, shaking his head. “No way.”
“You should consider going for that chief resident position.” You told him with a grin, winking, “I love a man in power.”
He sputtered a laugh, “Ulterior motives? I’ll consider it.”
“You should, though, seriously. You’d be very good at it.”
“Thank you.” He said, “Are you going to tell your PD soon?”
You frowned, thinking about the program director in question. It was the logical next step regarding your residency. “I was thinking about next week? I’ll try to tell Long then too. I’m just nervous, I didn’t really look over the benefits with this sort of thing when I started.” You chuckled lightly. “Didn’t really think it would affect me.”
He smiled sheepishly, sipping his soda, “Happy accidents.”
You grinned at him, “I’d cheers to that.”
So you did, laughing and enjoying his company over greasy pizza.
When you returned to his apartment, heat had settled low in your belly. You had been spending much of your free time at his place, leaving more and more of your clothes behind — even doing a shared load of laundry.
His quick kiss once you had gotten inside had turned into something much deeper, hands roaming and clothes falling to the floor. The date you had gone on had made you feel worlds better about this whole thing working out. It was a small step, but it lifted the weight from your shoulders.
Michael had you against the wall, one hand beside your head and the other gripping your hip. You deepened the kiss, slipping your tongue into his mouth and gripping his hair in both hands. His hand on your hip slipped to where you wanted him most, ghosting over your clit before settling by your slick entrance.
“You’re so wet. Fuck.”
You whined against his lips, trying to desperately pull him closer.
It wasn’t long before you were on his bed, wrapping your legs around him, kisses sloppy and his lips searing the skin of your throat. You rocked your hips up, eager for more friction and he groaned. He fumbled off you, reaching towards his nightstand.
You blinked curiously at him, pulling him back to you. “We don’t need that.”
“What?” He asked against your lips.
You giggled, moving your hips up again to feel him. “I’m already pregnant, Mike. Let me feel you.”
He moaned at your words, making you smirk. He was lost in your kiss when you moved your hand between your bodies to line him up with your entrance. His breath hitched before pushing in slowly.
“Jesus Christ.” He exhaled once he was fully sheathed, eyes screwed shut like he was trying to focus.
It felt like all your nerves were on fire, so much more sensitive to the feel of him, each drag of his hips. His pelvic bone and patch of hair brushing up against your clit. You whined, simultaneously already over stimulated and needing so much more.
He tried not to be too rough with you, while also trying to consider your pleasure above his. He adjusted his movements until you were responding, clinging to him, one hand gripping his back desperately, the other between your legs.
“Mike, holy shit. Michael.” You moaned against his shoulder, the band in your lower belly growing more taut by the second.
“Fuck.” He breathed against your jaw, “Let me feel you cum, come on, sweetheart.”
The tension in your belly snapped with a moan, and your pussy gripped him impossibly tight.
“I’m gonna—” He hissed.
“Please. Please. Please.” You begged, arching your back.
The warm feeling that filled you was different, but you found it felt so good. His hips stuttered, moan swallowed by your mouth, and you tightened your legs around him.
Ragged breathing filled his bedroom, and his forehead rested against yours. He peppered a few kisses to your cheeks, making you grin. He rolled off of you with a groan low in his throat when he slipped out of you, both of you unmoving for another minute.
“Well that’s a first I can get used to.”
He laughed.
—
The first people you told were your PD and the chief attending, both men, and despite the disappointment clear on Dr. Long’s face, it went over well. Dr. Long assured you that he would work with the schedule to ensure you would be able to take your leave once you gave birth — six paid weeks. Anything additional would need to be vacation time, plus a slight risk to your residency. Thankfully it all lined up enough that you would be able to start your third year without a hitch, seven weeks after your due date.
You did not mention Michael to them, but you had both discussed that he would attempt to take a few days to a week around your due date to stay with you. You knew they would likely pick up on the overlap.
The first people Michael told were his parents, who had gone quiet on the other line as he paced his kitchen. You stood still leaning against the dining table, watching it unfold.
His mother’s voice rang out like a bell on the other side, “Oh, honey, did you forget to tell us you were engaged?”
He physically deflated, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “No, mom. We’re not engaged.”
The other line was quiet for a few beats, then it was his dad, “Son, how the hell could you be so reckless? First, choosing to be a damn emergency room doctor, and now what? Got some broad knocked up?”
Michael’s jaw tensed and you looked away, guilt filling your gut.
“Don’t call her that.” His tone was hard, the serious edge to it making you look back at him.
“...some golddigger…whore…does she even know you’re not a real doctor yet? Ha!” His father was ranting in the background.
“She’s a resident, too.” Michael snapped back. “You don’t have to be proud of my decisions, but this is happening. I’m having a baby, that’s a fact. You don’t even need to stay in my life, but she is going to be, so deal with it.”
“Michael, honey, you don’t mean that—”
“No, I do. You don’t get to shittalk her, I won’t tolerate it.” His voice cracked, “I wanted you to be a part of it, but it’s clear you don’t want to be.”
“Michael—”
“If you’re going to be this fucking stupid, fine. Don’t come crying to us when—”
Michael hung up, the weight of it crushing him, tears coming. You moved quickly, taking him into your arms before his knees could buckle. He held onto you like you were a lifeline, sobs wracking his body. You were silent, rubbing circles onto his back, knowing no words would be enough.
You felt an anger brewing in your stomach over how his father had spoken to him, but he had revealed a few weeks prior that his parents had wanted him to be a surgeon. Michael said it took awhile before he got the nerve to tell his father he had chosen the ED over trauma surgery. Now you knew why.
You brought him to the couch, kissing his face and running your nails along his scalp. He curled up, resting his head in your lap, while you ran fingers through his hair. You knew he should not have to bear the weight of their disappointment, especially since he was such a good man.
Flicking on a random baseball game, you didn’t let your fingers stray from his hair.
His anger seemed quick to follow his sadness, moving to sit up, face scrunched together.
“They don’t even know you! How could he even—he has a lot of nerve—”
“Hey, hey,” you placed a careful hand on his shoulder. “I’m not going to take what he said to heart. I appreciate you standing up for me, that meant a lot.”
His eyes softened when they met yours, “You don’t deserve that.”
You nodded in agreement.
Later that night, your parents took it a bit easier, though their voices were still thick with disappointment.
“What about your residency?” Your mom asked, “How could you be so foolish? You worked so hard for this!”
“I know, I already figured it out. I’ll still start my third year on time.”
“Baby’s aren’t easy, and if you go back to work full time? What about childcare?”
It was unnerving how silent your father had been.
“There’s a daycare at the hospital, we’ve been thinking about that.”
Your mother sighed, “Well we can’t stop you. I hope you know what you’re doing.”
You really did not, but you didn’t dare say that.
—
Michael’s mother warmed up roughly a month later, right around your appointment to find out the gender. She had explained that his father would come around, but hadn’t yet, but she expressed wanting to meet you. They lived all the way in California, so them coming to meet you (or you going to meet them) seemed more placating than realistic. Still, you agreed, voicing over the phone you would love to meet her.
Michael anxiously tapped on the steering wheel the entire way to your OB.
“Do you wanna bet on it?” You asked, trying to pull your own anxious mind from running wild.
“Bet on what?”
“The gender.” You said with a smile, looking over at him.
He raised an eyebrow, glancing at you before looking back at the road. “What’re the stakes?”
You contemplated with a hum, “I could really go for ice cream.”
He laughed, “Ice cream?”
Shrugging, you added, “Or a beignet.”
“Not quite as high stakes as I was thinking.”
“And what were you thinking?”
“You should move in with me.”
You choked on your saliva, coughing, “Excuse me?”
It had not been long enough to consider that, even if your relationship was going well. It had only been official for a month.
“Not right now!” He said, swallowing thickly. “My lease is up in three months. Might be smart to consider a two-bedroom, you know, even if you don’t move in.”
“Oh.” You looked at the road ahead of you. “That might be too high a stakes.”
“You’re right, that was stupid.”
“No!” You objected. “No, it’s a smart thing to consider. It would be easier once they’re here to live together. But are we ready for that kind of commitment?”
“Sorry to inform you, but we’re going to have a baby together. Surprise!” His lighter tone was back, as was the smirk. “I think just about everything else is much lower stakes than that.”
“I would like to seriously consider that.” You told him quietly. “Just not over a bet.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry to spring that on you. I’ve just been thinking about it.”
You grabbed his right hand and squeezed. “I really just don’t want to fuck this up over spontaneous decisions. I’ll think about it.”
He nodded, “So higher stakes than a sweet treat, but lower than moving in together? Hm, oh! What about that craft beer festival I was telling you about?”
You barked out a laugh, “I’m not going to a craft beer festival. I can’t even drink!”
He smirked, “You’ll be a perfect DD, then! Plus, they’ll have those fancy craft sodas and music I know you like.”
“Fine!” You huffed out, trying to hide a grin. “If I win, then you’re taking me to the next stupid rom-com that comes out.”
“Pfft, I love a rom-com. Think bigger!”
You thought for a moment, “I want to go to the next Comic-Con fully dressed up as whoever I want.” While you had no strong feelings about the con either way, you knew Michael did.
He groaned, “Dressed up, too? At least you’d be able to enjoy yourself at mine!”
“What? I’m sure there’d be a panel on that comic you like so much.”
His tongue moved over his lip, his eyes narrowed at the road.
“So, do we got a deal?” You asked, eyebrow raised.
“Fine. I’ll even let you pick first.”
“Oh, what a gentleman.” You laughed. “A boy.”
“You sound confident.” He noted, turning into the parking lot.
“Call it mother’s intuition.”
The smile that came over his face made your heart stutter, sweet and soft.
“Alright, if it’s a girl then we’re going to the craft beer fest. A boy and we go to comic con.”
“Dressed up.” You added, smirking. “Oh! I also want a beignet right now, too.”
He laughed, “Alright, you’ve got yourself a deal.”
You even shook on it.
You waited anxiously for Dr. Lyons to confirm the gender, your gaze holding steady with Michael’s. You held his hand while he rubbed circles on your knuckle with his thumb.
“A girl!” She said, turning the screen to face you both, pointing to your baby.
Your head whipped over to look at the grainy image, disbelief settling in — more so upset at the fact that you lost rather than the gender itself. It was fleeting, however, and a cozy, warm feeling replaced it.
“A girl.” You echoed, smile forming.
Michael moved from the stool he was sitting on to kiss your forehead, whispering a subtle, “I win.”
You shooed him away. “Sore winner.” You whispered back.
Dr. Lyons left a few minutes later, leaving a few prints on the counter for you and Michael to take home.
You stared at the photos, pointing to a few features you noticed. Little feet and nose. You began to wonder what she might look like — who she might take after more, or if she would be a perfect mix. Your heart swelled.
“I’ll go buy tickets this weekend.” Michael told you, a triumphant grin stretching across his face.
You scoffed, moving off the exam table to put your pants back on.
He wrapped you up in his arms, twirling you around, “We’re having a baby girl!”
You laughed, holding him tight, echoing him. When he set you back on the ground, he kissed you tenderly and your eyes grew teary.
“I may be a sore winner, but let’s go get you that beignet.”
—
Michael first told you he loved you while you were making dinner one night. It had been your first night off together in nearly a week, and you were thankful to be in his company again, craving his touch and his voice. You moved to place something in the oven and stood back up to find his eyes already on you.
He had a goofy smile on his face, making your cheeks warm. So many feelings were swirling in your stomach — and something you felt was dangerously close to love. It had been enough time to call it that, surely, but part of you worried it was mostly your hormones talking.
Until he voiced it first.
“I’m in love with you.”
Several beats of silence echoed in his kitchen as you stared at him. Emotion constricted your throat, and you blinked away the coming tears.
“I’m in love with you, too.”
He kissed you deeply, one hand holding your head while the other moved to the small of your back.
“Say it again.”
You giggled against his lips, “I’m in love you, Michael Robinavitch.”
He kissed along your jaw, “Again.”
So you told him, again and again, in every way you could until dinner was ready. He made sure you knew how much he loved you later that night.
—
At twenty-three weeks, you had a much more noticeable bump, though your scrubs hid it well. You had announced it to your co-residents weeks ago, to a weird mix of congratulations and odd looks. Your relationship with Michael was still primarily private, and you barely talked about your boyfriend while in the hospital so your pregnancy was very out of left field to all of them (which, it had been to you as well).
Michael had grown increasingly protective after you started your second trimester, moving to take the more combative patients or shoulder the more stressful cases. Part of you appreciated him, but the other part was finding it increasingly frustrating.
Dr. Long already had you parked in triage for a majority of your shift, and you definitely did not need Michael treating you with kid gloves, too. Your senior resident gave you a bit more leeway, but you could see Dr. Rivera was picking what to give you just as carefully.
After a possible DV victim had come into your care, you assessed her injuries and found she was not critical. Her husband hovered while you asked questions, answering most of them for her, which set your teeth on edge. You brought her into the back, placing her in East 3, and put her on the list to get a head CT. You moved to inform a senior attending of what you suspected, and he noted it and sent you to find the social worker.
Not long after you had, you also noted to try to talk to her while she was alone, but then an ambulance rolled in, stealing your attention. Michael was the first one to get to the patient, assessing quickly.
The patient struggled against the soft restraints, making Michael keep stepping in front of you. You were never going to learn this way.
You pushed past him, checking the man’s vitals and pupils. Likely an overdose, by the look of it, but you still wanted to run urine and blood. The man was also talking in riddles, so psych might be a good call to make, too.
Grabbing hold of Michael’s wrist after the patient was settled, you pulled him into the hallway, moving towards the staff lounge.
“I’m never going to learn if you keep preventing me from every mildly combative or stressful case that wheels in.” You told him sternly in a hushed voice.
He blinked his eyes at you, before his eyebrows furrowed. “I’m not trying—”
“No, you are.” You said. “I appreciate the concern, trust me. But I’ll never be a good doctor if I only see the easy stuff.”
He rolled his tongue over his front teeth, “I’m just trying to keep you safe.”
“I know, Robby,” you said, exasperated. “Dr. Long is already benching me from a lot going on back here.”
“He’s not benching you. You’re an asset in triage.”
You wanted to scream.
A code sounded, interrupting any thought you might have had, both of you turning and running into Central 1. You figured the conversation would be shelved for another time.
The woman was older, but had gone into asystole, and despite all the best efforts of yourself and those around you, her time of death was called a half hour after that. It had left you sweaty and in need of a cold drink, so you departed to do just that.
You had no idea what had come over you when you heard shouting back in East 3, but you beelined for it. A wide eyed Maya, a nurse, exited and was calling for security. You stepped behind the curtain to see the husband arguing with another man while the woman was sobbing, begging them to stop.
“Hey! Hey!” You shouted, moving between them. Your first mistake.
Your second? Getting in range to be hit — the man’s elbow coming back and hitting you in the nose as he moved to punch the husband. You tripped backwards, turning just in time to catch yourself with your hands. You quickly noted that you had not landed on your stomach, but your nose was bleeding, dripping blood onto the tile.
Security was in the room in the next second, moving the curtain and revealing you on the floor to the hallway. You felt Michael’s eyes almost immediately. Fuck.
He was next to you within moments, hands on you while you tried to move to stand, your name on his lips. “Are you okay? Fuck!”
“Peachy,” you replied, your hand absentmindedly moving to your belly.
“She got in the way! I wasn’t trying to hit her!”
“That’s enough!” Security moved the man out of the room.
You had never seen Michael so angry, and it rattled through you, his murderous gaze following the man until he disappeared at the end of the hall. You silently followed him into an empty room across the hall and he pulled the curtain shut.
Michael assessed you silently, still clearly fuming, but you were glad he had not moved to attack the man who had accidentally hit you. His hands were gentle, moving along your cheeks to your nose until you winced.
“I’m ordering you a head CT and an ultrasound.” He said, wiping a bit of the blood from your face.
“That’s not necessary, just give me a few minutes.”
“The fuck it’s not necessary, you’re pregnant with my child. Are you kidding me?” His gentle tone had disappeared.
You blinked owlishly at him, stunned by his anger now directed at you.
“What were you thinking? Why didn’t you get security?”
“Maya was already getting them, I wanted to see what was going on.” You said, already feeling stupid.
He let out a long, annoyed sigh, rubbing a hand down his face. “I’m going to go order those tests and get you some ice.”
You frowned as he disappeared, bringing your fingers to lightly touch your face. You moved your hand back to your belly and rubbed circles onto your skin. You had been reckless, you realized, and if you had done anything to threaten—you felt sick.
“You’re next for CT, I’m gonna do the ultrasound now. Probably smart to call your OB, so she can check you, too.” Michael said, coming back into the room with an ice pack in hand, voice switching to how he sounded with a patient.
“I’m sorry.” It was barely above a whisper. “I wasn’t thinking. I—I—”
“Hey,” he was in front of you now, touching you tenderly, gently, like you would break. “Relax. Take a deep breath.”
You did so, trying to calm your racing heart by breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth.
“I just—you and Long are keeping me from some really good cases. I didn’t want to have to sit another one out…I thought I could handle it.”
His frown was still on his lips, but he grabbed your hand and kissed along your knuckles. “You scared the shit out of me. You were just—you were on the ground and you were bleeding. Nothing else mattered, I thought—fuck. I don’t mean to be overprotective. At the end of the day, this is still the ED and things are just going to happen, but you really have to think about the situations you’re putting yourself in. I’ll back off a bit if you promise me one thing.”
You nodded, grabbing his fingers.
“Just promise me you’ll be more mindful. You’ll get security first, ask questions second. You’ll get me, or Long or Rivera, or whoever’s on if you sense something going south.”
“I promise.” And you meant it.
He nodded, kissing your forehead — not even caring to cut back the PDA, like you both had agreed to within the walls of the hospital. You were thankful he had, assured by the gestures of affection.
The doppler sounded with a steady, normal heart rate which calmed every nerve you had. A long breath left you and relief was clear on Michael’s face.
The ultrasound revealed normal movement, your baby thankfully finding their time to shine, kicking against your womb much to Michael’s amusement. He moved the transducer to touch your belly to feel for himself, and a large grin lit up his features.
It was the first time he had been able to feel her, your baby girl. He left his hand on your belly for a long time, and you put one of your hands overtop of his.
His brown eyes met yours, “She’s moving.”
You returned his smile, “She’s saying hi to her daddy.”
He nearly cried.
—
Your first apartment had come with a decent amount of stress. Your roommate had been upset when you explained you would not be renewing your lease with her, but ultimately understood. It was unfortunate that since your lease had finished first, you had to crowd Michael’s apartment with the random odds and ends from your old apartment until his lease was up the following month.
You were thankful to find something in your price range, and even more grateful to find something nice. It was a simple two-bedroom place, with enough room to breathe in, and would suit both of your needs until your residency was over.
Michael insisted on moving most of it, with the help of one of the resident’s you knew from the hospital, who was sworn to secrecy before he even came over. Michael told you he considered him to be a friend. He put you on supervising duty, dictating where each piece of furniture should go. After all the furniture was in the apartment, all that was really left to do was furnish the baby’s room.
You wanted this place to be your home, and so there was a bit of weight on your shoulders to fill it. Make it cozy, make it yours.
The furniture for the baby’s room was a bit complicated. Your style clashing with Michael’s more simplistic one. You couldn’t help it! It was your first baby, of course you want to go a little overboard with the design.
You both eventually settled on lighter woods and pastels, not necessarily having the budget for frivolous. You did go a bit overboard on clothes, but hey, pick your battles.
Folding some of her clothes sitting cross-legged on the floor, Michael was trying to put together the crib behind you. It was a fairly simple sight, watching him screw together several pieces, but it still got you all hot and bothered.
“How about Jasmine?”
Michael made a small noise, indicating a simple no. “Patricia?”
You responded as he had. “Susan?”
“Marie?”
You thought about that one, before shaking your head. “Eleanor?”
He considered it. “Ellie’s cute. I like that one.”
You smiled in victory, moving some of her clean clothes into the hand-me-down dresser.
“Eleanor Robinavitch.” You said, testing it on your tongue.
“Eleanor Robinavitch.” Michael echoed, placing his tools down to give you a kiss.
—
Your due date came too quickly. You had thoroughly been enjoying Michael’s company, just the two of you, but by your thirty-eighth week, you would have done anything to get the baby out of you. Though, true to how she had been conceived, it came as a bit of a surprise.
Michael’s shift had not yet finished, though it was close enough that you did not want to call him at the hospital. You only had to wait two hours. Besides, statistically speaking, first-time pregnancies usually had a longer laboring period as opposed to subsequent labors.
The contractions were brutal. More than you had been expecting. Those breathing exercises you learned in those classes did very little to help with the pain, but it did help you get through them.
By the time Michael stepped through the front door, you were leaning over the coffee table, finding the position to be the most helpful. He was by your side in an instant.
“Why didn’t you call?”
“Figured…I could wait…still about seven minutes apart.” You breathed out, the pain in your abdomen beginning to ease again, allowing you to take a big breath.
He kissed your forehead, “I’ll start getting everything to the car. Your bag still in the closet?”
You nodded, leaning back onto the couch and relaxing, hand on your belly.
Michael moved quickly, grabbing his bag, your bag and your baby’s bag and putting them into his car. His anxious energy made you want to stand, moving around the kitchen and bedroom like a tornado. You tried to close your eyes and rest, knowing it was not going to be much longer.
Nearly a half hour later, contractions at nearly six minutes apart but in short bursts, you wandered into the bathroom. You were overly thankful since as soon as you stepped foot onto the bathroom, your water broke. You stared down at the puddle you had made in shock, before glancing at yourself in the mirror.
This is really happening. You were about to have a baby.
After putting a towel down over top of it, you let yourself sit on the toilet. You called Michael to get you some new pants, with a sheepish smile.
“My water broke.” You explained.
He only glanced down at the towel and was off to do as you had asked.
It was not long after that that your contractions moved down to five minutes apart, lasting one minute for nearly an hour. For as level headed as Michael was around the ED, he was eager to get you to the hospital. During the drive, he had you breathe with him, in and out, even when the pain made you want to throttle him.
“Can we seahorse next time? Fuck.” You complained, leaning back in the passenger seat, gripping the door handle tighter.
“Had I the parts, absolutely.”
“I’m still blaming you.” You said through clenched teeth.
You could tell he tried not to laugh, but you were glad he wasn’t taking it to heart.
“What did we cheers to on our first date? Happy accidents?”
You did your best not to curse at him.
After eight long, excruciating hours, you were ready to push. Despite how much you had wanted to throttle him, Michael really was a trooper — he breathed with you, helped you walk around when a nurse suggested it would help, and held you upright while you leaned on him. All things considered, he was a perfect birthing partner, if not a little anxious.
He had read every book about pregnancy, wandered up to L&D at Big Charity to ask random questions, and brushed up on all the latest studies. You knew he knew what was going on and he still asked stupid questions despite it.
If you weren’t in the throes of labor, you might have laughed.
After getting your go ahead, Dr. Lyons let Michael “help”, mostly just to catch the baby. She was on your chest the next second, crying her little lungs out, which you found quite relieving.
Your eyes were blurry when they met Michael’s gaze, looking down at your daughter and whispering to her. Michael kissed your forehead.
“You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.” He told you, and you could tell he was being earnest.
“I did just push out a baby.”
He smirked back at you, before glancing down at your daughter. He brushed a gentle finger against her cheek, smiling with an expression you had not seen before — but it was something you were experiencing, too.
When she was cleaned, you could tell some obvious features were all you, but you could pinpoint several of Michael’s features. And her eyes? In both shape and color, they were all Michael.
—
In the months that followed Eleanor’s birth, there were still so many things to still figure out. You dreaded returning to work and being away from her, but you also wanted to complete your residency more than anything.
Michael was an excellent father. Handling night feedings, while also trying to take care of you in the first few weeks, and also working. He was compartmentalizing well, but you could see it weighing on him.
You tried to pick up the slack, but postpartum was no joke. Your hormones returning to normal and the sleepless nights really took most of the wind out of your sails most days. You were grateful when Michael would get off shift to give you just a tiny break before you each went to bed, but the dynamic shifted when you returned to work.
The daycare at the hospital was truly a dream come true, with a reduced rate and easy access that made you less anxious whenever you were working. As it stood, the plan was to stay at Big Charity until your residency was done, Michael hoping for an attending position after his fourth year was completed.
You both had vaguely discussed moving out of Louisiana eventually. Perhaps closer to your parents, or to his, or somewhere different entirely. Pennsylvania or New York, perhaps. It was too far into the future to be able to focus on it.
In a rare day off for each of you, Michael convinced you to head to the park, have a picnic and enjoy the weather. Eleanor was more engaged, and was making her biggest effort to crawl. She could sit up on her own without much assistance, and your heart constricted whenever she hit a milestone. She was growing up much too fast for your liking.
The breeze felt nice on your skin, sitting on a picnic blanket under the shade of a tree. Eleanor was talking nonsense to Michael, bringing one of her toys to her mouth.
In her babbling, she said something awfully close to dada, which made your eyes go right to Michael, who was beaming.
“Was that—”
“She does not get to say dada first,” You said in a huff, but your tone was light.
He laughed, “Can you say that again, Ellie? Dada, come on, da-da.”
It warmed your heart, even if you were a bit jealous.
Lunch was simple sandwiches, and some baby food Eleanor had been more and more interested in lately. After, Eleanor settled down for a much needed nap, and you enjoyed the quiet with Michael.
“I’ve really enjoyed this last year and a half with you — it’s been some of the best moments of life.” He grabbed your hand, stealing your attention from your sleeping baby. “It has been such a privilege to raise Ellie with you, and I really could not imagine life without either of you. You mean so much to me, I love you so much.”
Your face warmed, a fuzzy feeling in your chest. “I love you, too. So much. You’re a wonderful father to Ellie, and I’m so lucky to have you in my life.”
Your heart halted when he moved from beside you to rest on one knee.
“I know we’ve been doing things a bit backwards, but you said shotgun weddings were cliche. So would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
There was a ring box in his hand, but you did not even look at it before throwing yourself into his arms, “Yes, oh my god. Yes.”
You kissed him, holding him to your body. You knew you would not have picked any other path, knowing this was the one for you.
Michael Robinavitch was the one for you, wholly, undoubtedly, unconditionally.
[ continuation ]
All Dr. Robby Content: @cherriready @kittenhawkk @seeyalaterinnovator
Did I pick Dr. John Carter’s mother’s name? Yes, yes I did.
I feel like I could’ve kept going, but I ended up liking the stopping point. Might take these characters forward into the Pitt timeline!
