#wtfock vlog

[dearjiminah]

a baby™

[rebekah-lexi2408]

Okay, so basically I think this photo is kinda iconic of these three broerrrs. So...I hope my very basic drawing of the photo summons a vlog ;)

[bruisingknees]

VLOG #17 ROOFTOP DANCE BATTLE - Moyo vs Kato

Watch the vlog on YouTube!

J: Heeey. Aaron! Where are we? 

A: Where are we?! We're in Antwerp. 

J: We're in Antwerp. But where in Antwerp are we? 

A: We're on a roof in Antwerp. 

J: We're on a roof. Check that view. Check that view. Why are we here?

A: Why are we here?

J: Well, we've... Why are we here, actually? We're here, because we're going to - no, the two of us aren't going to dance, but Moyo's gonna dance. 

A: But we can't dance along, then?

J: No, I think it's for the best if we don't dance along. 

A: Moyo has a big mouth. 

J: Really big. And we've set a challenge for him with an influencer. 

A: An influencer. 

J: Who can dance as well. 

A: Can dance. 

J: And we're gonna do that here...

A: On this roof.

J: On this roof. What do you think, little vloggers? Peter Koelewijn would say -

A: Who the fuck is Peter Koelewijn?

J: Get off that roof. (Lyrics)

A: Get off that roof! (Lyrics)

J: This is your final warning. (Lyrics) That's good. 

J: Hey, hey.

R: Hello. 

A: Hey, hey, hey. 

J: That sure was quite the vlog. 

R: That sure was great! 

J: I'm thinking: our best vlog ever? 

R: Same. 

A: Who did the best job? 

J: Oooh. 

R: Who did the best? 

J: Who was the best? Let us know in the comments. 

A: Right. 

R: Let us know 

J: It was a really nice interplay. 

R: Interplay. 

A: Which is important in this society. 

J: Let's all listen to Aaron a little more.

A: We're not gonna get too deep... We're just gonna...

J: That's for another vlog. 

R: And we're out. 

A: Ciaooooo! 

[bruisingknees]

Hi, did you also translate the lyrics for Broerrs - EENVOUD? I really wanna know what they're saying but i can't find a complete translation!

Hi! I didn’t translate this back in the day, because I figured I’d suffered enough during Vlog 3 😂 but enough time passed since lmao so I quickly translated this for you below! (Some of this makes more sense in rhyme, obviously. They use words specifically because they rhyme so when you take that aspect away it’s sometimes a bit ?) 

Oh my god. Moyo. Shit. Yes, yes. Let’s go!

M: Hey, you can find me in the cirque, get close from all four sides. (Cirque circus = round. Vier kanten = four sides, but vierkant = square.) Jens rolt (Jens’ IG, means Jens rolls,) Moyo spits the beat, but is tipped over. Stress fucks off because of the J’s (joints). Get lost in the books, one wrong move and Jens will give you three hooks. (Hook = boxing move. Hoek also means angle. Again with the geometry.) Como estas? (Spanish) Comment vas tu? (French) For my kompas (idk does that means friends? Literally: compass) I say Fakka (Surinamese for How are you?) I do tik-tok with the game, confuse the rappers with the (?? Genuinely  no clue.) I’m not white, I’m not black, but I’m good just like mocha. The beat makes me a beast, be careful beat: no alpaca.

J: She wants my sausage just like Boma. (Really famous Belgian show called FC De Kampioenen about a local football club sponsored by a business man called Boma who produces Boma Sausages.) I know your girl and your grandma. Fuck those bitches, and those snitches, take a ride on Snow White. I’ll bring hits, bitches sick things and I’ll give you zona (schingles). Apparently we’re raising the bar, came really nicely when your bitch sucked my dick last night (I AM qdmlgj). I’m looking alongside the archeologist. Intoxicated with the guy at the bar, he couldn’t do anything when his girlfriend cheated on him.

R: Fuck that exam, would rather chill with a lady (this was obviously pre coming out lmfao,) ditch her as soon as she drops the word “together.” On the beat my words are like weapons, and we’re listening to the lyrics, but we’re yawning. My bars sting, just like sea salt. When we’re dealing with my money, don’t miscalculate. In my house, later on, we’ll have all these bricks of gold. And we’re keeping it simple – EENVOUD (simplicity.)

Simplicity, yes. Simplicity.

[bruisingknees]

Suddenly trying to translate the clips is like trying to translate the vlogs. Everyone is mumbling and screaming all over each other. God bless these idiots. 

[bruisingknees]

VLOG #16 CAN JENS AND AARON DANCE?

Watch the vlog on YouTube!

M: Okay, boys, boys, boys, wh - okay, wow, wow. Okay. People, we're exciteeeed. 

A: What are we doing, dude? What are we gonna do? 

M: Well, what are we doing? 

J: I think dance? Dance? 

M: Bish. (?) 

A: Dance. 

M: Are you guys excited, that's what I want to know, that's what I want to know. 

J: Yes. 

A: It depends on what we're going to dance to. 

M: Ooooh. Your turn, your turn, your turn. 

A: No. 

M: Yes, go, go. No, but what am I going to do? I'm going to teach them a choreography, a short, short, short choreo. 

J: Short choreo. 

M: And they're going to compete against each other and whoever does it -

J: We're going to boot camp, you know what I mean? 

M: Boot camp, you know what I mean? 

M: The winner will get a sandwich. 

A: Alright, that's fine. 

J: And what kind of sandwich? 

M: You can choose. 

J: Sick. 

M: Alright?

J: Sick! Yes. 

M: So, I will now teach you the choreography. Let's - 

J: Gooo. 

M: Go! 

VLOG #16 CAN JENS AND AARON DANCE? 

M: I'm going to teach you something, and then I'll give you some time. Firstly, to practice, and secondly so you can put your own spin on it. 

J: Oh, shit. 

M: Your own -

A: Ah, shit. 

M: You know?

J: That's the kind of teacher you are? 

M: I don't want you to copy it.  

J: Why can't we just copy it? 

M: I want to see your version of it. I want to be able to tell: Okay, that's Jens. That's Aaron. One by one, or at the same time, and then I'll let you know who the winner is and you guys get to choose as well, you guys will get to choose too. 

M: This is the pose, even if you're stepping to the left or to the right, you're not going to do it like this - you're going to - À l'aise (chill) You've got direction, you've got a goal. (Reference to an earlier vlog about the city of Doel.) 

J: Oh, oh! 

M: Down, up. Down, up. Ouis, ouis! (Yes, yes!) It's already so much better, guys.  

M: Now, first move! Criss-cross. 

J: Criss-cross. 

A: Criss-cross. 

M: So, cross like this: boom, boom, boom. And then you do it twice on the right. 

M: Boom, boom, boom, boom! Seven and - 

A: Ah, keep going? 

J: There we go. 

M: That's the beginning, easy. 

M: Now we're kah, kah. Then we're going right. Top right. Boom, boom. Easy! Easy! Kah, kah! And when I tell you to give it your own spin, you've got to bam, bam. 

A: That's his own spin. 

M: Boom, boom. 

J: Boom, boom!

M: And then you end up here: kah, kah! 

A: Kah, kah! ("Kaka" is also a way to say shit in Dutch.) 

M: From the top! Kah, kah (x6), boom, boom. Hah, hah, shh, shh. (I love Moyo.)  

M: I don't want to see any of that, boys. 

M: Five, and six. And five, six, seven and - Boom, boom, twice and kah, kah. 

M: Once we get here, I want you guys to do your own thing for eight counts.Your own freestyle. So now you'll get the time to prepare for that bit. Dutch got a bit too hard there, for a second. Okay?! 

A: Yes, okay! 

M: Okay. Ah, ah, five, six. Five, six, seven and -

A: Oh, wait. 

M: Shah, shah, kah, kah, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. 

A: No. 

A: How many seconds do you do this for? 

M: Good question. For our viewers: in the dance world, as a choreographer or a dancer, you're not thinking about seconds. You're thinking in terms of counts. 

A: Yeah, five, six, seven, eight. 

M: There we go. And this will change for every tempo, for every BPM - beats per minute. - the tempo or pace of your music, you know what I mean? Imagine it's a really fast song, I can do 8 counts in 2 seconds. For an old school song, with BPM of 80 or 90, it could take 10 seconds. We have to work with counts, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. 

A: Ah... 

M: Okay? 

A: Yeah. 

M: Go stand in the corner, dude. (Literally they have to go to their corners, but this is also how a parent/adult will punish a child by putting them in "time out" in a corner of the room.) 

M: It's time. Let us know who's going to win, right? Go to the comments, make your prediction, tell us: Aaron's gonna win, or Jens is gonna win. We're gonna watch the beach (bitch?) boy, over there. 

A: Wow, shit, shit, shit (x2).

M: Wooow! 

M: Aaron, Aaron. Come here real quick. Are you nervous after having seen that?  

A: Uhm, yeah, I want to give a shout-out to my mother. No, I just want to dance, dude. My dance will speak for itself. 

M: For me he's already won with that sentence. I'm not gonna lie, he's already won just from that sentence. 

A: Yo! Everyone in the house: jump! Very Hawaii. 

M: Hey, hey. 

A: Five, six, seven, eight.  

J + M: Oooh! 

M: We're all very impressed. Now it's time for the -

J: The verdict. 

M: The real deal. 

A: Whoever wins that sandwich, I won't be able to eat that anymore, man. 

M: We've waited for this for a year. Boys, let's hold hands. Okay, and the winner is... drum rolls, please! No, drum rolls, for in post (production). 

A: Yay! 

M: No! No! He pulled his own hand up!! 

A: The jury was bribed, man! Bullshit! 

M: And the winner is, drum rolls! Yes! Good job, good job! Jens, Jens! The camera, the camera! 

A: Like! And leave a comment! And shout-out to my parents, Biggie Smalls and Tupac, no doubt. In the heart, man. No doubt.  

M: Jens! 

J: I'm not gonna talk, dude! I'm...

M: Okay. 

J: I'm really sick from all this. 

M: Okay, boys, this was it! Thank you, and -

J: Don't they have to let us know as well, who they think won? 

M: I already told them that. 

J: Oh, sorry. 

M: He was too deep in -

J: I was deep in my creative process. 

M: Okay. 

A: Okay. 

M: Now. Showing our anuses! Let's go!

[bruisingknees]

I wanted to make a post about the wtfock vlogs on YouTube and subtitles, in case some people might not know about this!

I’ve made transcripts for all the vlogs, which you can find here, but I know it’s a lot more fun and just easier to watch the vlogs on YouTube with subs lol. Now, I believe it’s vlogs 4 and 5, and then 12 and 13 that haven’t had the subtitles approved yet by the broerrrs lol but they are there, and you can watch the video with subtitles. 

What you need to do is open the vlog you want to watch and next to the subtitles option (on the very bottom right of the video) you have a little gear for your settings. Click that, and you can click subtitles and choose the language. You’ll see that Enlish isn’t an option for those 4 vlogs, but if you click “add subtitles” it brings you to a new tab where you’ll see the video and then you get to select a language in a blue bar to the right of the video. Select English and voila. It’ll show you the video, and all the “raw subtitles” and time codes to the left of it. You can just watch the video and the subtitles that people have already added will play along with it. 

I don’t know why the wtfock team isn’t approving these subs. I also don’t know if for the other vlogs they added the subtitles themselves, or if those were fan efforts as well. 

Now for vlogs 14 and 15 it doesn’t look like anyone’s added subs yet (I imagine because other subs aren’t being approved either and you do put a lot of work into time coding it all, just to then not have it approved), but I have written transcripts for those two videos in case you’re interested :) 

[bruisingknees]

VLOG #15 DOES JENS BELIEVE IN HYPNOSIS? 

Watch the vlog on YouTube! 

A: Have you seen this?! 

M: Woah! Okay, okay, that's enough. 

A: We're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna prank Jens. 

M: Heeey! And how? Explain it, explain it, young man. 

A: So we've got this dude, what's his name again? 

M: Maarten. 

A: Maarten! He's gonna be playing a hypnotist who's gonna hypnotize me, and then we've also got someone else - Lila. (He's singing Lilla Lilla Lilla by Kim Kay.)

M: Okay, allé, allé. Okay, so, Lila. 

A: So, this hypnotist is going to hypnotize me, and under hypnosis, I'm gonna steal someone's handbag. And we're gonna see Jens' reaction to all that, so. We'll see what he does. 

VLOG #15 DOES JENS BELIEVE IN HYPNOSIS?  

A: Yo, yo, yo, yo. 

M: Hello, cómo-to-the-estás? 

A: Maarten, our resident hypnotist. 

M: Nice to meet you, we're the ones who called you, sir. We're the ones who called you.

A: And Lila. 

M: Hello, ma'am. 

A: Thanks for agreeing to do this, Maarten. 

Ma: No problem. 

A: Just, for the viewers, are you really a hypnotist? 

Ma: No. 

A: No

Ma: No.

M: Ooooh. 

A: He's just gonna do some shit, and we'll see. 

M: We'll see. And you, you're a real lady or? 

L: Yeah, I'm a real lady.

A: These days you never know! 

M: We're gonna hypnotize him over here, we're gonna hypnotize him over here. And you can slowly start walking, slowly start walking - 

A: Jens just texted me, he's gonna be here any second. 

M: Okay. 

A: Don't cross us the moment I would steal the bag, but make sure you’re a little further ahead so I have to run after you. 

L: Don't you, don't you have a signal?

M: Okay, everyone.

L: That direction, right? 

M: No, from this direction. 

L: Okay, from that side. 

M: Yes, yes, yes. Are you ready, sir?

Ma: I'm ready. 

M: Thank you for helping us out.  

A: I think he's thinking we're gonna kill him, or something. 

M: Fuck-a-chance (lol idk) 

J: That went-

M: That was good, wasn't it? 

A: Biker is gone.

M: The biker is gone. 

J: Why are we here? 

A: ?

M: Listen, listen, no, no, I put something together, boys. 

J: You put something together? 

M: I put something together, boys. 

J: ?

M: I wanted to give him a little sneak peek. We're here today, boys, in Anvers (French for Antwerp) because I (drumrolls) fixed us a hypnotist. 

J: You? You got us a hypnotist? 

A: ?

M: Yeah! 

J: You went online and looked up a hypnotist, you then clicked something-

M: But, G, he's real. He's real. 

J: And called him. 

M: I've seen videos, he's really hypnotized people. 

J: They're just videos. 

M: And they do all this weird-

J: You can do anything on video. 

M: But, no! 

J: It's not real! 

M: Look, we'll just have to see, later. All right, man? 

A: Hey. 

J: We'll go and have a look. 

M: We'll go and have a look, You really don't believe me. 

J: I don't believe this at all. At all. 

A: At all. 

M: I'm telling you -

A: I'm not completely convinced either. 

M: Maarten! We talked on the phone. Sir. This is -

J: Hello, you're the hypnotist? I don't believe this at all, but you can try on me. I'm curious to see if this is gonna work. 

Ma: I can only do it on people who have an open mind. If you've got the right mindset, then it can work. 

J: Ah, see, that's super shady to me. 

Ma: You have to be brave enough to open yourself up. 

J: That's super shady to me.

A: Man, it's not like he's trying to sell you drugs. 

J: We don't know that. But okay, all right. 

Ma: Who's up for it? Who wants to go?

J: I'm thinking Aaron. 

A: Me? 

Ma: Who's brave enough to open up? 

M: Not me, cause then this guy is gonna think I'm like, that I'm doing it on purpose. 

J: Yeah, I don't trust him at all. 

M: Because I'm the one who believes in this, you know what I mean? 

J: Let's have Aaron do it. 

Ma: Are you relaxed? 

A: Uhm. 

Ma: Do you feel relaxed? 

A: Yes. 

Ma: Step away from the wall. You can close your eyes and relax your whole body. Relax. Breathe in and breathe out. 

A: Yes. 

Ma: Your eyes can remain shut, your eyes can remain closed. There's no one else here at the moment, it's you and me. My voice, and you follow my voice. Just my voice. 

J: Aaron! 

Ma: Just continue to calmly breathe in and breathe out. In and out. You can feel it throughout your body. You can feel your right arm raise all the way up. You're holding a balloon that’s pulling your arm all the way up. It's pulling your hand all the way up. Your left hand. You can feel gravity, and it's going down, all the way down, gravity is pulling your left hand all the way down. But the balloon is still there on the right, it's pulling you up, to the tips of your toes, to the tips of your toes. And you're able to keep this pose for a very long time. For a very long time. The balloon is gone. 

M: Steal her handbag, steal her handbag. Steal her handbag. 

J: He isn't listening to you. 

M: Steal her - can you tell him to steal her handbag? 

Ma: Yeah, that lady over there. You can see a girl walking there with a black handbag. That handbag is yours. Black, leather.... Go to the handbag, take the handbag. 

J: What the fuck? Hey! Hey, Aaron! Fucking, dude. 

M: Shiiit, Aaron! 

J: Aaron! 

M: Aaron! 

J: What the fuck did you do, dude?

 L: My handbag! 

M: No, but. 

J: Yeah, ma'am, sorry, 

J: What the fuck's going on? Uhm, we're gonna go get that back for you. 

M: Shit, dude. 

J: Where did you find this guy? 

M: I mean.

 J: The dark web or something? 

M: Ah shit, where is he? 

J: Jumped in the fucking Schelde or something? (River that runs through Antwerp) What is this?! 

M: Dude, are you crazy? G, are you crazy? 

J: Are you some sort of fucking criminal? Are you Merlin the wizard or something? 

Ma: No it's just a way to get in someone's brain. ?

J: But fucking, that woman doesn't have her purse, I mean, come on. That's fucked up, isn't it? You didn't feel anything? 

M: G, are you crazy? 

A: I feel weird.

 J: What the fuck is this? 

M: Pranked! 

J: Fuck! And you! 

M: Pranked! Little tadpole. Tadpole! You fell for it, you totally fell for it! 

J: And who are you?! 

M: He fell for it, dude! Aaron! Aaron! Fuck, dude, actor! 

J: I thought he'd fucking lost it. 

M: What does it feel like to get pranked, bitch boy? 

J: It's all right. 

A: I really put way too much effort into this. 

M: Jens! 

J: Yeah, no. Yeah. 

M: What the fuck. 

J: I was just like, he just took that woman's bag and I don't want to get arrested. 

J: ?

M: ?

M: You didn't help the lady. 

J: I did! I told her we were gonna get her bag! 

M: Heeey, I'm getting your bag. 

J: I'm getting your bag. 

A: ?

M: Yes. I want you to say this, on camera: Moyo and Aaron thank you, thank you for this prank. 

J: Thank you?! For what? For this?! 

M: No, no, I want you to say: Moyo and Aaron, thank you for this prank, I love you guys, and you're the smartest guys. 

J: And what if I don't?

M: You're gonna say it. Moyo and Aaron. 

J: Moyo and Aaron. 

M: No, no, like you mean it! 

J: Moyo and Aaron. 

M: Thank you for this prank 

J: Thanks for this prank. 

M: I love you guys. 

J: I, what, I love you? 

M: You're the most handsome men on this planet. 

J: Uhm. 

M: Hey!

J: You're not ugly. 

M: No, say it, you're the most handsome men on this planet. 

J: You're the most handsome men on this planet, it's making my dick super hard.

M: And I'm beneath you guys.  

J: What's that supposed to-?

M: I'm beneath you guys. 

J: This dude ordered a hypnotist and now he thinks he's the king. 

M: Fuck you, man. 

J: And I'm underneath you guys. 

M: Wooh! 

A: Wooh!

J: And now I'm going home, you fucking idiots. 

M: Fucking, fucking.