Why We Do What We Do (16)
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Logan watched Patton as he sat by Roman’s bedside. He hadn’t stopped crying since the doctors had to sedate Roman and had carted him off to surgery again for his torn stitches. But in Roman’s hospital room, Patton only let out his tears.
“Patton, why are you stifling your crying? Letting out your emotions is beneficial to your emotional health.” Logan had asked curiously when Patton had quieted as he entered the room.
Patton had waved him off even as another set of tears fell down his face, “I can’t disturb him. I’ve don-”
Patton had cut himself off, but Logan had gathered what he was going to say.
I’ve done enough.
That could mean so many different things, however, Logan had been with Patton for years. He understood Patton and he wasn’t blind to most of Patton’s feelings. To Logan, the devastation and guilt was written on his face.
Truth be told, it pained Logan everytime he looked at Roman’s unconscious face. The sensation was indeed like a knife in his heart. He hadn’t ever grasped the concept properly, but now that he was experiencing that feeling, he agreed. Logan had almost called for a doctor himself when it started, but soon enough he connected the sight of Roman to the pain.
But now wasn’t the time to address Patton’s guilt or the pain in Logan’s heart, they all could deal with their feelings about what happened after Roman was at least on the up and up.
For now, Logan just held Patton’s hand while Patton gripped Roman’s. Patton sniffed, wiping his nose with a tissue absently before returning his hand to Logan’s hand.
Patton was really the most optimistic of them three. Virgil appeared to be the most pessimistic at the moment. Virgil was sitting by the window, looking out the window down at the ground below. He was the picturesque depiction of the fateful emo look that every emo or photograph showing emo’s had. The pensive expression, the dark clothes, and the brooding posture that screamed “I’m thinking deeply about things and everything’s going to shit.”
Though in Logan’s opinion, your boyfriend nearly dying may warrant some of that sentiment.
Logan himself was equally hopeful and doubtful. The amount of blood Roman had lost had been extensive and the doctors had also said as much. But Roman was strong, the strongest of them all and Logan assumed Virgil and Patton would agree.
So Logan held his expectations to a logical point, Roman was strong, but he had lost a lot of blood. He would pull through, he mostly had already in fact, but Logan understood it wouldn't be without drawbacks.
A soft groan came from Roman’s lips.
Patton suddenly perked up. His hand bolted out of Logan’s grip.
“Roman?”
Logan sat forwards, focusing in on Roman’s face. Roman’s face had been mostly neutral as they sat there, but now Roman’s lips had dipped into a frown and his brow furrowed.
Logan wasn’t sure Roman was awake fully yet, but he was at least stirring. This sure exceeded Logan’s expectations.
Virgil ran over from the window, eyes more full of energy than just moments before. His mouth was parted and his hands were shaking a little.
Patton’s voice was still soft as he ran his thumb faster over Roman’s knuckles. The sadness was evident in his voice, but he tried to keep it level as he coaxed Roman
“Come on Roman, you can do it, just wake up for me. For us.” Patton added the last two words as an afterthought. Logan wasn’t offended, but there was a glint in Virgil’s eyes that signaled Virgil wasn’t as forgiving. Tensions were high, so Logan doubted Virgil went the glare too much.
Logan watched Roman’s face carefully, his own face falling as the heart monitor slowed bit by bit and Roman’s face relaxed once again, the crease in his forehead smoothing out. Logan placed a hand on Patton’s back gently, but was shoved off by Patton’s shifting shoulders.
Patton didn’t look at Logan, but Logan could tell his own hope was fading after soaring high with Roman nearly waking up. Again, Logan didn’t fault Patton for that. Minutes ticked by.
Logan waited until Patton had dropped his hand back down to his side and Virgil had returned to the window to brood again to chance trying to grasp Patton’s hand again. Patton’s hand twitched in Logan’s grasp as he made contact, but he didn’t yank it away like he did before.
Logan slowly tugged Patton’s hand to himself. Patton turned slowly to face Logan as he allowed him to pull Patton towards him.
Logan waited until he was an inch or two away from Patton’s ear to whisper.
“Let’s go in the hallway, love.”
Patton whipped his head up, mouth opening to protest before a wave of tears crashed over him and he catapulted into Logan’s chest instead.
“Okay, I just- I just-”
Logan ran a hand down from Patton’s head down to his neck. Patton cut himself off as his shivered at the touch.
“I know, dear. I know you want to protect him and be there for him, but you can be in this room forever. It’s impossible. You need to take some time to get out in the greater world and interact with someone other than Roman or even us.”
Patton sobbed wetly into Logan’s front, and once again Logan ignored the sensations of the dampness against his skin from his tears.
“I- It hurts to-! I don’t want to leave-” Patton shuddered.
Logan sternly replied, “You have to sweetie. It’s hard, I know, but you have to. It doesn’t have to be far, just right outside the door, but it would do us both a little good to get out of this stifling hospital room.”
Patton gasped in a big breath of air as his cries finally dulled to a few shuddering cries. Logan waited until Patton’s cries were next to nothing before he asked Patton.
“Are you ready to go?” Patton didn’t respond for a long moment, but slowly he nodded. Logan gently held Patton as they both walked towards the door. Logan was supporting most of Patton’s weight, but he didn’t mind.
Logan was just about to shoot Virgil a look that meant, look after him for us until we get back, when they all heard the bed shift.
They all turned to Roman sitting up in bed, his eyes glassy but very much awake. Roman’s eyes locked onto Virgil at the window. Virgil’s face scrunched happily, tears of joy springing to his eyes as he took in how Roman was awake.
Roman surprised everyone when he spoke. His voice was rough and scratchy, but perfectly intelligible.
“Why do I call you Marilyn Morose?”