Sideshow Bob x Vampyre Reader
(wwdits)
You were in the store, on your own since your familiar was too scared to leave his house. He said something about some guy, called Sideshow Bob being released a few days ago. He's scared of him killing him, which is preposterous, if anyone were to threaten you or him you'd kill them, or at the very least scare them away. You looked at the products in front of you, without the boy here how were you supposed to know what these things properly were? Bart's dad, Homer, had asked you to go get Duff, or whatever the hell that means. You see someone you think works here.
"Errr, excuse me, do you happen to know what duff is and of its whereabouts?" You asked the scrawny 19-year-old, he turned looking at you.
"Um, if I'm remembering correctly, I think it's on the 11th aisle," he replied.
"Why thank you," and then you quickly disappeared around the corner, looking for the 11th aisle. When you finally got there you looked around and spotted cans that said duff on them. As you grabbed them some teenagers walked past.
"Hey, it's not Halloween, loser!" You turned to face them.
"And good evening to you too, my young fellows!" You said, they gave you weird looks and walked off. You looked back down at the cans in your hands, whilst doing so you could sense someone looking at you. Thinking it were the teenagers again you snapped your head up in that direction. You made eye contact with a man, who was most certainly not the teenagers. He smiled nervously not wanting you to recognise him from the news. Now you got a good look at him, you noticed his hair was shaped like a palm tree, a maroon one. Your eyes scanned down the man, he had a blue shirt on with a bit of a round middle, your eyes scanned lower to his beige pants, and then your eyes lingered on his shoes, in all your time you had never seen feet that size. You were cut from your thoughts as the man started walking towards you and talking. He didn't want you to figure out who he was, little did he know you don't look at the news. "Don't listen to them, I like your costume," he said smoothly. You looked at yourself then back at the man in front of you.
"What costume?" you asked confused. The man looked dumbfounded.
"I-I-I duh um," but before he could explain himself he could hear a phone ringing. You got it out of your pocket once you finally found it, answering it it was Homer.
"Heeeeellllooooooooo," you said strangely.
"Have you got my beer yet?" Homer whined on the other end.
"Oh! oh yes! The cans with liquid inside" you said waving the duff around, whilst Bob stared at you.
"Just hurry up already!" Homer cried like a baby on the other side.
"Ok ok" You sighed, you looked back up at Bob.
"Goodbye palm tree man," you waved to him as you walked away, leaving Bob to wonder what had just happened.
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You walked past the Flanders' house and saw Ned waving at you from the window, you felt uneasy, you could feel all the crosses and religious stuff in that house, you ran away and got to the Simpsons' house. You had already been invited into this house before, so you formed into vapor and seeped underneath the door.
"I'm back!" you yelled, Homer came running.
"Heeeeeyyy...how did you get in-*gasp* Beer!" He then suddenly went sour.
"Only six!" He grabbed the beer off you and walked back to the couch. You then went up the stairs, walking to Bart's room. You opened the door to get hit in the head with a rock, that had been fired with a slingshot. It didn't faze you, it practically did nothing.
"Oh it's you, I thought you were Sideshow Bob, sorry" Bart sat back down on his bed looking sad.
"S'fine," you said in a monotone voice, you smiled ruffling his hair.
"Get some rest kiddo," Bart giggled. After Bart had finally fallen asleep you went to the window to watch stars slowly move across the sky, you were also waiting for it to be morning, your bedtime.
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You climbed out of the coffin you and Bart had disguised as a toy box. It was finally the start of the night. You walked up to Bart's window and opened it quietly, and tried your best to quietly close it. Once that was done with you transformed into a bat. You flew all the way to the park. You found a spot you wanted to land and transformed back and landed on your feet.
You calmly walked down the path, but your lovely stroll was soon rudely interrupted. A man in a hoody had walked up to you with a gun.
"Give me your wallet!" he shouted, you stared at him, waiting for him to correct his mistake.
"If you continue, you will regret this," you said emotionless.
"GIVE ME YOUR FUCKI-" You cut him off, grabbing his throat, and you shoved him into the grass, he shot you in reflex and it didn't really do anything, there was blood but it healed quite quickly. You showed your teeth and sunk them into the man's neck, draining his whole blood supply and discarding his body. His blood didn't even taste very nice. You started walking again, while you were walking you noticed a figure ahead of you. As you got closer you realised it was the man from the store. You quietly snuck up behind him.
"Fancy seeing you here," you said startling him since he didn't know anyone was there. He turned around
"It's you from the shop, you called me Palm Tree Man," he said recognising you.
"Well, I don't really know your name," you said childishly.
"Robert," he said thankful that someone doesn't know him as a criminal.
"Sooooooo, what are you doing out this late?" you asked, he was taken aback.
"I-um I like walking at night, you?" continuing the conversation.
"I just had my breakfast!" You said happily.
"ch-bu-h-what? Breakfast?!" He asked, not sure if he heard correctly.
"Yup" You answered starting to walk again, he started walking with you. That's when he noticed the bullet hole in your clothes and the blood on your shirt.
"Oh my! Are you alright?" he questioned concerned, you looked down.
"Huh? Oh! Yeah, it's nothing" You smiled walking backwards. Bob knew it was most certainly not nothing but he didn't push because he'd only just met you he doesn't want to scare you away. You were enjoying talking to this man, you kept walking until he had stepped on a rake, he flinched closing his eyes waiting for it to smack him in the face and for the pain, but it never came. He opened one eye and saw that you had quickly grabbed the rake before it could hit him. He looked at you, your face looked so, angry. All of a sudden you were happy again and flung the rake into the sky and it disappeared. Bob watched in awe as it didn't seem to come back down.