Possible Tag Team Partners for Danhausen | WWE Backlash 2026
Who could team up with Danhausen in his tag team match against The Miz and Kit Wilson at WWE Backlash 2026? I have no idea, I don't follow wrestling, so this should be hilarious. Here are my top 5:
1) Gritty
Little known fact that both Danhausen and Gritty both collect human moneys and human teeth. A trade for Gritty's help might just get Danhausen the muscle he needs to take on the Misery Kittens.
2) Powdered Toast Man
An OG legend in the industry, PTM would be a very tasteful addition to the roster. Danhausen gets plenty of air on his jumpkicks, but combined with the PTM's toaster-spring-loaded launch attacks, the Miserable Kittens would have a very hard time keeping up.
3) Chiitan
Chiitan is a less likely pick, but has expressed am interest in coming to WWE to sort out some percieved issues with their treatment of both otters and asian wrestlers. Rumor states that Chiitan had custom ordered, if I'm translating the Japanese language correctly, "A baseball bat, but make it entirely out of human bones." As bones are already in the body, this may or may not disqualify the use of such an item as a foreign object.
4) The AFLAC Duck
Yes, the AFLAC duck is overlooked. But much like Danhausen's curses, anyone who ignores the Duck finds something very very bad happening to them. Also Backlash kinda rhymes with AFLAC.
5) Randall Keith Orton
I don't know who this guy is, but someone's told me he's my crush's favorite wrestler so I had to add him. Seen here doing the occult Anteater style of martial arts, Randy Orton has everything it takes to bring down all of Danhausen's enemies single-handedly. The only thing Randy does not have is a weird little feral goblin apprentice to watch his back while he's doing so. This, coupled with the bribe of forty-thousand-dollars-in-human-moneys, which would be paid to Randy to get him to do essentially the exact thing Randy wanted to do in the first place, should provide enough impetus to start them working together. Besides, Randy and Miz had beef with both of their own mentees. So why not just swap. Apprentices and mentees are like trading cards in the WWE anyways, right?
There are many fighters (Randy) possibly eyeing the tag team match(Randy) But ultimately, (Randy) it will come down to (Randy) how much Danhausen merch the WWE can sell (Randy) by pairing him with (Randy) the fighter whose fans spend the most moneys on merch (Randy), which means fan loyalty (Randy has that) will probably be the deciding factor in who gets picked. (It's Randy it has to be, you can hear him screaming "mineminemineminemine" offstage from the distance and it's getting louder by the second).
Let me know in the reblogs/comments who you think will be Danhausen's tag team partner!
