chrysalism
@wyroy
He should have seen the dark clouds, but walking out the door to get anything done was always such a task that he often caught himself making up excuses not to do it. It was frustrating -- he didn’t want to hide away for the rest of his life; continue the path he’d been living on for nearly twenty years. But existing was hard, especially with the world outside feeling so big and bad and judgmental. Hoseok still didn’t know where this fear came from. Sure, he could blame it on not fitting in with his peers or the messed up life at home, but in the end he’d developed his anxiety long before that. And weren’t all those things a result of that anxiety and inability to speak?
The wind picked up not too long after he’d closed the front door behind him. But despite it being so much safer inside, he could also feel the walls closing in on him. It was LONELY and suffocating and he knew he needed to get out before he’d drown in his own thoughts again. The silence, boredom, loneliness. It drove him mad.
A bookstore seemed like a good place to go. Or perhaps the library. Quiet places, where he could wander for hours, browsing and discovering. Books had always been his escape from reality; living the lives of other people was comforting, even if he got thrown right back once that last page was turned. It was something, something that didn’t require him to think or worry about his future, about school, about how miserable he felt.
But then a raindrop hit his cheek, soon followed by another. He knew his coat wasn’t waterproof and he hadn’t been smart enough to bring an umbrella. To avoid ending up completely drenched, he was forced to duck into the nearest shop, which luckily didn’t appear to be busy. Suddenly he was surrounded by flowers, the scents almost overwhelming, but there was also something CALMING about them. He’d barely stepped inside when he heard the rain picking up against the window and he couldn’t stop the slight smile that tugged at the corners of his lips. God, he loved the sound of rain.
He’d almost forgotten he stumbled into an unfamiliar place and when his gaze accidentally met with the florist’s he could feel a deep blush creep up his cheeks. Suddenly he felt bad for barging in -- wanted to be a paying customer, but who was he supposed to buy flowers for? His foster mother? Could he even afford anything in here? He doubted it. “Ah, um... s-sorry, it’s-- The weather.” He sheepishly mumbled, glancing over at the window where the pouring rain was clearly visible. “I, um, I can... leave-- I mean, um...” He stammered. “I, ah... I would appreciate it if I could, um, stay here for a bit?” His words sounded more like a question than a statement and he felt so incredibly small and STUPID.
