Light Gone Out
percy jackson x reader
summary ☞ Life came difficult for the second best daughter of Athena, a dark tunnel of sadness and despair. Her light at the end of it came in the form of Percy Jackson.
word count ☞ 2.3k
warnings ☞ angst, hurt/comfort, themes of not being enough, mild bitterness, sadness, percy is a flirt, annabeth is the captain of percy x reader ship
mene's notes ☞ previously posted on @/selenewowww. was req'd by @perseusargent! diary entries taken from jacopo sol's "luci spente". pls leave a comment and a reblog!!!
dividers by ☞ @cursed-carmine and @cafekitsune
Annabeth this, Annabeth that. When will her turn come?
She loved her sister, truly. Everyone could see just how much she looked up to Annabeth, she was her role model. Her go–to person when she wasn't feeling her best, when their mother didn't acknowledge her efforts. For Gods’ sake, she used to follow her around Camp like a lost duckling!
So her deep–rooted and soul–consuming envy wasn't the fruit of hatred. No, not at all. It was the exact opposite.
What hurt most, though, was the constant comparison she inevitably did with her sister. Beautiful, intelligent— almost like their mother. Loved and feared by all. Wise to a greater extent and quick to give out directions in battle.
No one dared to disobey her. No one dared to even ruffle her feathers. She was everyone's hero, everyone’s favourite, the Architect of Olympus. Everyone’s first choice. Whether she… She was everyone's second choice.
Growing up in a messed up place such as Camp Half-blood, filled to the brim with teens with mummy and daddy issues alike, under Annabeth Chase’s shadow was not a stroll in the park. It meant always being surrounded by a crowd, but never really acknowledged, never truly seen. It meant being part of a conversation, but never heard, never taken into account, unless Annabeth was of the same opinion.
Deep inside her, words written in black ink into pages of her personal diary, she felt alone. How was that possible? She wasn't alone. Still, that was the feeling that reigned over her mind and heart. The feeling that often clouded her judgments, that held her back, that made her think of herself as a light, turned off by a stealthy creature of the night.
Her diary, oh her diary. It was her only confidant. The one thing that she crawled back to when everything felt too much. Secrets were spilt late in the nights, tucked under the comforting weight of her blankets. Hushed confessions were written in the margins, so small, in hopes that it was enough for her to ignore the next time she opened that page. Not important enough to be in the centre. Silly little thoughts she wanted gone.
Her diary wasn't a friend to her; no. It was the treasure chest of her real self. No filters, no forced smiles, no lies. Simply, her.
One page especially stood out. Completely blank, whereas the following pages were written so much they creaked when turned. Only in the margins could be found tiny writings, unreadable scribbles only she could interpret. They reflected her perfectly, the mirror of her soul. She often found herself opening that page, perhaps attracted by the raw emotions, poured on a poor sheet of paper, a means to lift the hefty weight off the trembly shoulders of a vulnerable sixteen–year–old.
“I always seem cheerful, I know that, and sometimes I'm terrified of having eyes on me”
“Being alone, it doesn't change what I feel, and I turn off everyone's light. Sometimes I look at my reflection, and I don't even recognise myself.”
“Please, forgive me if I can't help but feel inadequate when I'm talking about me”
Ironically, reading the outcome of her dark, lightless moments gave her an unusual sense of comfort, as if recalling those episodes were the evidence of a dim light in the pitch black tunnel that was her life.
However, in those soulless tunnels, while stumbling and falling, tired and spiritless, at some point a blinding light is all our eyes can see; With its beam, warmth returns, and a wave of fresh hope and optimism comes over us, gifting us the necessary energies to get up and regain control of our life.
This light came to her in the form of Perseus Jackson, son of Poseidon, saviour of Olympus.
She couldn't grasp what made him so… so enamoured with her. Annabeth was right beside him, with her astonishing intellect and quick wit. Why her, if he could have Annabeth? She always got plenty of answers from the sea–swept haired boy, but none satisfied her, none were valid in her opinion.
But the one he always answered with, was that she reminded him of the sea. He said she was his morning sea breeze that swept his already–messy jet black locks. Said she was the fresh waves tickling his feet, ever calm and rhythmic. Said that when she allowed herself, she could also be a stormy sea, threatening the sailors with just one thunder.
Despite all those metaphors didn't make sense in her mind reigned by logic and facts, she did fall for them. Hard. Unapologetically so. She felt in one of those ‘he fell first but she fell harder’ trope books she oh so loved to read in secret.
Finally someone saw her. Finally someone heard her. Finally someone’s first choice. She could get used to the feeling.
Despite not being half bad in combat, specifically sword fighting, she utterly despised the times Annabeth would drag her ass out of her cabin. Far from her warm blankets and her small lamp, and far from her copy of ‘The Hound of the Baskervilles’— to train. Fighting was bad, and she wasn't bad at it. Annabeth had only interrupted her peaceful reading in the middle of a breathtaking discovery; Who was the man hidden in the moor, under a Neolithic dwelling? The answer apparently had to wait, because Annabeth decided it came after training.
Her sister was blathering about some key point to disarm the opponent, going on and on for several minutes about something she had stopped listening to two minutes into the yawnsome speech. Her attention was however caught by Percy's back, droplets of water running down his spine from his hair, a clear evidence of his daily swim break. For a good few seconds, she hadn't even cared to blink, too focused on the godly–looking boy walking out the sea.
The lovestruck glint in her eyes wasn't missed by the watchful gaze of her older sister. No, not at all. The blonde girl had even decided not to be subtle in her detection. “You fancy Seaweed Brain?”, she asked with her chin held high, eyebrows and lips pulled in a teasing expression.
The insinuation left her feeling hot, hotter than it was meant to be under the sun. While her older sister— by only a year, she likes to insist!— was all knowing smiles and wiggling eyebrows. A wet hand on her shoulder interrupted the staring contest between the two Athena’s girls, taking her already stressed heart by surprise.
In her head, a string of imprecations was resounding in a loop, agonizing the moment she'd come face to face with the reason her mind was in a messy turmoil; the greatest fear for a child of the Goddess of wisdom and logic— second only to spiders. Those hairy–legged bitches…
“Hey there, Seastorm”, he smiled down at her, flashing her a carefree smile, that lasted a bit too long for it to be just friendly. He then turned to her sister, acknowledging her with a brief nod and a simple, “hey Annie”, to which the blonde, curly haired girl answered with an amused nod of hers.
He didn't miss a beat— something her heart was not able to do with him so close to her— and grabbed her hand, tugging her lightly with him towards the beach. “Mind if I steal your pupil, Wise Girl?”
Annabeth regarded him with an amused done expression, clearly full of his incessant dance around her, and her stubbornness to deny the obvious. “By all means, Kelp Face. She's all yours today. You know what? I don't want her returned to me if not your girlfriend”, she smirked deviously.
… What was happening?! The words said were running around like crazy in her mind, a pinball where words were the tiny balls crashing around with no order or specific organization.
In that flabbergasted state, she was tugged away from the Arena, and dragged to the sandy seashore of Camp Half-blood. “What—”, she tried to ask, but one single killer smile over his shoulder from Percy was enough to send her heart into a frenzy and shut her up for good.
Her heartbeat was as loud as the crashing waves, if not louder. Irregular thumps, loud and almost suffocating echoed in her ears, blood rushing to paint the tips a vermilion. Meanwhile, her eyes searched for his sea–green ones, who were shining with mirth and anticipation.
“Annie kinda spoilered it all…”, he said scratching the back of his neck, looking like the epitome of sheepishness itself, the words coming out like whispered confessions over the roaring of her heart's pounding and waves crashing.
She raised an eyebrow, her breath short and heavy from the leftover surprise of it all. She leaned slightly in, with a hand dramatically clutching her chest to calm her raging pulse and lips hung wide, in an attempt to catch her breath. “Eh?”, she muttered out of breath and utterly confused.
At her silly state, he let out a loud chuckle and sat down criss–crossed on the white sand, tugging her down with him, patting the seat in front of him.
“Aren't you supposed to be smart and quick?”, he teased light-heartedly.
She rolled her eyes, with a smile playing on her lips, shaking slightly her head at his poor excuse of a joke.
He reciprocated with a grin of his own, almost hesitant, reaching out to hold her hands in his. His confidence returned only a few seconds later, and he acquired the courage to squeeze her fingers tenderly, not a single sound escaping him.
Though, as it took everyone by surprise— Him, her and Poseidon, ‘cause he was definitely staring down at his sole son—, he suddenly got straight to the point, only after a few good minutes of complete silence over them, the only sounds filling the void were distant chatters and laughter.
“Be my girlfriend”
A stunned, breathless gasp escaping her caught him off guard, throwing him off completely. As realisation hit her hard on her face, she slapped her hand over her mouth, mortified for her insensitive answer.
“I'm so sorry, Perce— I just—”, she spluttered out, red in the face, hand still clasping over her lips.
He only let out a chuckle at her incoherent state, an ever–growing affectionate smile replaced his earlier confident grin. His eyes no longer shone reflecting the Sun’s light, but rather from love and tenderness for the red–faced girl in an embarrassed mess standing in front of him in the soft, warm sand.
He only widened his smile when she got even redder, the hue now extending to her neck. He teasingly fanned her with his hands, getting slapped away in response from her.
“Oh, shut it…”, she mumbled behind her hand, shying away from his adoration gaze. “It just startled me…”
“Perhaps I should have learned sign language… I would have surely got a clue on your confusional signals”
“What are you blabbering about?… It was a clear yes”, she answered, looking up at him through her eyelashes, suddenly feeling sheepish from her bold statement.
A mix of emotions passed over his face, one by one, but the one he settled on was one of pure happiness. So pure that he didn't think twice to pick her up and spin around, with her laughing joyfully while holding his shoulders.
Once he placed her back down, he hugged her tightly, and rested his head on hers. While she, tearing up and moved by the situation, hid her face in the crook of his neck, shaking slightly from the quiet sobs leaving her lips.
He chuckled softly and broke the hug to cup her cheeks, smiling reassuringly at her while wiping her tears with his thumbs. “I know I'm pretty eventful, but I never expected this kind of reaction…”, he joked to try to make her smile.
“I just— It's stupid, really…”, she tried to say in vain, still shaken, seeing that Percy immediately shook his head firmly.
“Nothing’s stupid. Especially not you”, he wiggled his eyebrows with an idiotic grin, successfully making her crack a hint of a smile. Puffing out his chest proudly, he added,“you can tell me anything. I'm your boyfriend now”
After a deep breath, or perhaps two or three, she met his gaze, locking it. “Sometimes… Sometimes I feel like I'm not that important to everyone. There's always someone who comes before me. Always. And— And now you come saying all that stuff… The sea–themed similes, the girlfriend thing…”
Another big, deep breath. “It's nice”, she stated finally, lifting off a weight she had been carrying for too long. A trembly, but nonetheless genuine, smile made its way on her lips, eyes wet and a bit swollen from crying.
“Yeah, well… It's called love, Seastorm. You better get used to it, cause you're ‘boutta get loads of it from now on”
Their eyes stayed locked in place, together. Thousand of words being replaced by a single glance. Then, finally, another tight hug sealed all their confessions together; That's what love is.
Second choice? Not anymore. At least, not to the person that mattered the most.
“Percy Jackson”
Those were the words written on the last page of her journal.
Not in a small handwriting, not in the margins; Big and right in the middle, highlighted, a blue glittery heart around it.
BONUS PART
They approached Annabeth, walking hand in hand, swinging them and chucking under their breaths. With a wave of his free hand, Percy grabbed the blonde’s attention, and watching her face changing from confusion, to realisation and to joy was priceless. What was even better, was the squeal that unexpectedly left her.
She and Percy shared a look of bewilderment, and burst out laughing loudly. “Think I can return her to you, now”, grinned Percy.
“Oh, you certainly can!”
. pjo ₊ ݁. @tc-selmarillian, @kittens4kitty, @akaashiit @kagstobioisthelightofmylife, @wellitseugi, @starletstarx