reminder: so this was a long time ago and I was
always nervous to post this but i’m going to because
it’s become very important to me.
i have health problems. part of the whole being born
prematurely to a mother who has major anxiety problems herself
that were untreated until later means that i have to stay on top of
my health. my health is important. you can hate me or unfollow me,
it’s all good but right now, i’m trying to find my balance. my brothers
really didn’t understand how bad I was until I had an anxiety attack that
made me faint. it made me hysterical to the point that my throat closed
up and I couldn’t scream. now i have an eighteen year old who follows
me around and makes sure that if he even senses a slight trigger, he
loses his shit and looks after me.
I am scared and terrified and on constant alert over my health. i also have no
health insurance so i don’t do hospital visits. i have to stay on top of everything.
coupled with my mood swings and my need to hide from people, it’s why i’m
horrible with people. it isn’t nor will it ever be your fault. it’s all mine. I am terrible with
keeping up with anything and I value my time.
sometimes i’ll be on and sometimes, i’ll be in bed avoiding the world. it’s taken
me a while to realize this but I don’t owe anybody anything. piper halliwell is such
an important person to me because i bonded with her and i grew with her and I
learned the true meaning of having strength and a fierce heart.
