[8.02am] in which eunsang finds out about x1′s disbandment
! - mild swearing
you never fully understood how quickly a headline could change someone’s life.
when eunsang scrolled through his phone as per his morning routine, he had never expected his world to crumble. he expected new stories from his friends, or someone asking him for the answers to the homework. but not that headline. not the few words that would wreck everything he had put his heart and soul into.
he sat frozen on the edge of his bed as his phone fell out of his hands. his eyes were blanketed with a layer of tears threatening to fall, but he did not have the energy to see them through. he sat there, truly and utterly frozen.
you walked into the room with a smile on your face, hoping to ask him about where you guys should go for breakfast. but when you saw him stilled and his breathing getting heavier, your smile dropped. you rushed to his side, placing a hand on his shoulder on instinct.
“what's wrong? are you okay?”
he didn’t respond. his eyes fixated on the patch of flooring just in front of his feet. eunsang didn’t know what he was feeling, and yet, he was feeling too much at once. anger, confusion, sadness, loss, and hopelessness, all mixing in an ugly mess in the pit of his stomach, shutting down all senses in his body. eunsang felt numb.
after receiving no response from him, you picked up his phone on the bed beside him. on the screen was the soompi article, shouting out that eunsang’s dreams had been shattered. even worse, countless people had liked the article and shown support for it, making your blood boil hot in your veins.
“did they tell you about this first?”
an anxious heartbeat passed before eunsang responded. it was a slight movement, barely the ghost of a shake, his head nudging itself towards the side before returning, but it was enough to break the both of you.
you pulled him into a hug, gently holding his nape. he buried his face into the crook of your shoulder before moving his hands to your waist to pull you closer. it was only in this position did his eyes release his tears. you felt them, warm and bitter, against your skin.
they first came in silence, with nothing but eunsang’s heavy breathing to accompany them. but when you placed a hand on his back to reassure him, he broke. a desperate cry emitted from his lips. you felt it vibrate against your collarbone as you pulled him even closer. he cried his soul out for god knows how long, emptying his sadness into your shoulder.
“what the hell,” he whispered desperately after a long time of crying. “what the hell. what’s going on?”
you stroked his shoulder. “i have no idea. have you called them? maybe it’s a mistake.”
eunsang gently shook his head. you felt his hair shift under your chin. “seungwoo-hyung messaged us. said it was real. didn’t wanna read the full message,” he said in between breaths.
your hand came up to stroke his hair, holding the back of his head ever so gently, as if he might break under any pressure. tears began to well up in your own eyes. “i'm so, so, so sorry, eunsang.”
he sniffled, before pulling himself up to look you in the eyes. that’s when you saw his eyes. they were red and puffy, but within those tears, you saw him. he was close to breaking. the pieces of his soul were stitched precariously together, and this piece of news threatened to rip the threads wide open. he was shaky when he spoke, the words weighing down on his tongue.
“y/n, what did i do wrong?”
you broke at his words. the tears came streaking down your face. he thought this was on him. innocent eunsang, who worked harder for this than you had ever seen before, thought that this mess was somehow done by him. it was so screwed up it made your heart ache.
your hand came to caress his cheek. “eunsang, you did nothing wrong. this- this bullshit, it’s all because of some stupid adults who thought all this shit was okay. i hate them so much for it. and all your fans hate them too. but this is not on you, eunsang. not in the slightest bit.”
eunsang sniffled again. “really?”
you smiled at him and nodded your head, brushing a tear away from his cheek. “you deserve better. and you’re going to get it one day.”
eunsang’s shaky face revealed the ghost of a smile, and you had never been more relived. it hurt you so much to see him cry. “really?” he asked, still in disbelief.
you laughed and nodded again, taking his hand in yours. this entire situation was screwed up, and eunsang didn’t deserve any of it. you would burn down that entire building if you good, scream bloody murder as you fought all of them one by one. but you couldn’t. so you hoped that you being here for him would be enough.
you hoped he knew that we would never be alone. he would still have his fans, and his members. and he would have you, for as long as he walked the earth, and as long as your lungs breathed in air.
“we’ll get through this, eunsang,” you assured him, squeezing his hand, “together.”
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a/n: hello!! it's been really long since i’ve written for x1, and i’m so sorry it’s angst aksoihd but i am Still Not Over the d-word, so i made myself cry lol anyway x1 pls come back
