#xaith

[juanabaloo]

I'm in a bit of a time sink thinking about Faith and Xander in The Zeppo. Usually I just think she's comphetting out / sleeping with him to get closer to Buffy / porque no los dos? / looking for a quick hookup. (Disclaimer: I typically headcanon Faith as bi, but I'm not mad at other reads of her.)

Anyways, sometimes I think about how she lies a lot and tells a lot of good stories.

Is this her first time sleeping with someone after being called as a Slayer? Is this her first time sleeping with someone where she knows she has the upper hand? (like physically)

I know when the writers were looking at options the only men REALLY around are Oz, Xander, and Giles. And Xander is the most single / age appropriate. So they really just didn't want to hire a new actor to play the love interest (ala Parker or Scott or Owen) and that's why we end up with Xander.

(The show conveniently forgetting that Xander sometimes represents Buffy's heart, so I'm just gonna momentarily forget that too.)

But also Faith picked Xander. Again, probably 95% of it was that she was feeling good and he was there.

(But also this is the same person who danced at The Bronze to lure a vamp to the alley just to get Buffy to come back and witness her beat the vamp up, then borrow Buffy's stake and kill him. With her perfect lines of dialogue - "Thanks B, couldn't have done it without you" - complete with stake handover and the boob window shirt. Like, I think Faith could have planned to run into Xander VERY EASILY, and have it look like it was a casual unplanned encounter.)

But part of me is like, why Xander?

I think she wanted someone she felt safe with, and she knew that Buffy felt safe with Xander. I think the fact that he's inexperienced is a plus for her. (Although perhaps she didn't know, that's unclear.) He's gonna be grateful and happy, he's not gonna be mean or "judge" her. He's certainly not gonna critique how good she is because - as it turns out - he doesn't have much else to judge it against.

I suspect Faith repeats things that happened to her, but now she's the mean one. Hence her kicking him out very quickly afterwards. I know people point to this as a comphet flag, and I agree, it definitely read that way. But I also think this could be her thinking along the lines of "yeah, got what I wanted, I was the aggressor, that's done now, gotta kick him out."

If you agree with me that she repeats things, it adds another layer to her assault on Xander later in Consequences. (Obligatory note: I'm not saying what she did to Xander was OK.)

[on-this-day-btvs]

January 26, 1999

The Zeppo aired for BTVS season 3, episode 13. This is a Xander centered episode. At the start of the episode Xander is told to stay "fray adjacent" by Buffy. However, Xander has a series of adventures, including hanging out with Jack O'Toole (shown above with his large knife) and his friends. Xander gets a car, helps Faith out, and interrupts Buffy and Angel having an angsty conversation. He also saves everyone from a bomb explosion.

(mod note: highly recommend the excellent meta essay on the episode The Zeppo written by herinsectreflection. it includes commentary on Xander's role throughout BTVS.)

(image credit to buffyversefans)

[afteriwake]

I Ask For Forgiveness

An old Buffyverse fic of mine, set in an AU season 6 of BtVS, where Faith goes back to Sunnydale to ask Xander's forgiveness.

I Ask For Forgiveness -

READ @ AO3

[I would like to visit you for a while Get away and out of this city Maybe I shouldn't have called but someone had to be the first to break]

LA's just not a great place anymore. Sunnydale really isn't either, but I didn't spend a year in jail in Sunnydale. Though I should have, in all honesty. And all the people I really hurt, maybe except Wesley, they're all in Sunnydale.

Facing my demons. My demons are the people I hurt or helped hurt. If Angel hadn't shown me redemption was possible...

[We can go and sit on your back porch Relax talk about anything It don't matter I'll be courageous if you can pretend that you've forgiven me]

So now I'm here with Xander, in his new place. There's not a real reason I wanted to come here first, I just wanted to apologize. Maybe except for Buffy I hurt him the most. I took his virginity and then tossed him out. I tried to kill him when all he tried to do was help me.

Help me...I never did understand why he wanted to help me, not until Angel showed me what redemption was all about. I'll have to thank Angel the way he'd want me to: helping others. From what Cordy told me, he's not okay anymore. I wish I could help him.

[Because I don't know you anymore I don't recognise this place The picture frames have changed and so has your name We don't talk much anymore We keep running from these sentences But what I wouldn't give to see your face again]

Back to Xander. He's changed, there's no other way to put it. He was showing me pictures of the Scoobies. The new Scoobies...there was him and B and Willow and Giles, of course. And there was new people. A picture of him and another woman, they looked close. And B with a younger girl. Xander said she was her sister, and I think I remember her. And then Willow and her girlfriend. Xander won't say who the other woman is, in that picture with him. He won't talk about her at all. I hope she didn't hurt him. If she hurt him...

[Springtime in the city Always such relief from the winter breeze The snow was more lonely than cold if you know what I mean]

We went through the normal conversation. I can't say much has happened to me after a year in jail and a month with Cordelia and Wesley and Gunn. I've changed, and I think he knows it, but he can't bring himself to ask just how I've changed.

Same on my side. He's told me stories about the Scoobies, and the two new ones who I know of, Dawn and Tara. But I can't bring myself to ask about the girl in the picture with him, or what he's done or been up to.

It just doesn't feel right.

I wonder all sorts of things: what he thinks of me, of what I did to him. Does he think I really changed? Does he even care? He must care a little, or else he wouldn't have let me come here. Did he miss me? Did he ever look back and wonder "What if?"

Does he forgive me?

[Everybody's got an agenda Don't stop keep that chin up you'll be alright Can you believe what a year it's been Are you still the same? Has your opinion changed?]

The words are out of my mouth before I even think about them.

"I'm so sorry, Xander. I'm sorry I hurt everyone, especially you. I'm sorry I used you and I'm so sorry I ruined a part of your life. I've learned that anyone can be saved, even me, but it takes forgiveness, not only from those you've hurt but from yourself. I won't forgive myself, not until you've forgiven me. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry..."

[Because I don't know you anymore I don't recognise this place The picture frames have changed and so has your name We don't talk much anymore We keep running from these sentences But what I wouldn't give to see your face again]

I didn't mean to start crying, or to get emotional at all. But I've been wanting to apologize for so long, and I didn't know how to do it or what to say, but it's all true. Every last word, every last thing I said is all true. I need his forgiveness.

I need him.

He takes me in his arms as I cry. "Anya...the girl in the pictures...she came after me, when we first met. She was a vengeance demon for when I made a major mistake by cheating on Cordelia. And then there was the Ascension, and she left, and when she came back...we fell in love." He pauses. "And then she left, went back to being a vengeance demon. She left a note, saying Cordy forgave me. And I think I know why."

He makes me look up into his eyes, those eyes that now held nothing but forgiveness. "She wanted me to forgive you."

[I know I let you down Again and again I know I never really treated you right I've paid the price I'm still paying for it every day]

And then his lips are on mine. I know he's forgiven me and that things might just have a chance at working out.

LA isn't a great place for me anymore.

But Sunnydale just might be.

[glorified-bricklayer]

Xaith

who cooks normally? Hard to say really. They probably just take turns, and complain to the other that it’s their turn to make dinner/lunch and so on.

how often do they fight? Now and then, often but not big yelling fights as often as they would have done before they were together.

what do they do when they’re away from each other? I’d say probably the same things they do normally, but with the worry that the other one is going to get hurt, or get someone else hurt.

nicknames for each other?: I don’t really think they’d have meany. Other than “Xander” but that’s a nickname everyone uses for him. 

who is more likely to pay for dinner?: Probably Xander would be, or he’d try to pay. I can picture them arguing about who pays and who doesn’t.

who steals the covers at night?: Faith probably, Xander would have been able too, if it wasn’t for Faiths slayer strength.

what would they get each other for gifts?: Hm. Probably simple things, but meaningful. Like cute little things that’s an inside joke to them, or something that reminds them of something that happened.

who remembers things?: Xander does.

who cusses more?: Faith does.

what would they do if the other one was hurt?: They’d try to help them, in any way they could, get the patched up. And depending on what did it, they’d probably try to go after it. Either alone(Faith), or with the rest of the gang(Xander).

who kissed who first?:  Faith kissed Xander first

who made the first move?: Once again, the answer is Faith.

who started the relationship?: Hm. I don’t really know. It’s just a thing that happened, but I’m going to go with Faith, seeing as how she is the one who kissed first, and made the first move.

[guywithaneyepun]

What are you three OTPs for Xander?

Faith, Peyton, Maggie. But all for different reasons? I’m trying not to get too meta on this because Xander being in a relationship with any of them would be so hard to introduce and I can’t imagine it, so it’s hard to think about how the relationship would play out, and how they’d each grow.

OTPs is a strong word, by the way, I’m very changeable about this stuff. 

Faith and Xander have such a checkered history and Xander can’t even explain why he cares about Faith as much as he does. I mean, look at it. They had sex, she tried to kill him, tried to kill his friends, they fought on the same side of an apocalypse, moved to London, he fixed her toilet and now they’re friends. Yep. So that’d be interesting in terms of how they’d resolve their issues, but also because the way they both are they’re also the hardest pairing to get together. But I love their chemistry and interactions, and I think the fact that they have a lot of things in common and that they get eachother a lot. I think it would take a while to build, but be strong for it.

Maggie is hard for a completely other reason, and that’s because they’ve slipped into the roles of best friends but also mentor/mentee. There’s also the age gap, which complicates things slightly. (Heh, considering both their past relationships.) Moreso is the issue of Ben, who Maggie isn’t over. Which is okay. So I don’t think this would involve into a deep, encompassing love, but more a love built on the knowledge that they both loved someone before, and that they’re not trying to replace that person. The thing about Maggie and Xander is that they’re similar enough that they’ll almost always get on, and have wonderful dialogue, and I think they could both benefit eachother greatly. But they’re different enough that conversation doesn’t become stale, and that they bring different perspectives to eachother. 

Peyton, finally. There isn’t a lot to comment on here, but I love their interactions. Absolutely adore their interactions, how they tease eachother. They’re so on the same level in several things. Although there’s chemistry everywhere, I think this is the one I ship mostly for the chemistry, because they don’t really have backstory, it’s just sort of automatic. And that’s awesome. They were sort of instantly comfortable making jokes with eachother, and it wasn’t weird when Peyton invited herself over, and during their very first patrol, they just trusted eachother. And of course we’re still working on that para, but I didn’t expect that to really be a thing, even just a few replies in. I think their relationship would also be hard to kickstart, but not in the same league as the other two. They’re very different people in a lot of ways, but at their core they’re similar, so I think they’d have clashes, but ultimately they’re gonna be on the same side. IDK, I can’t really explain why I ship it but I do.

Yep. Three pairings I ship, but have no idea how to execute. Which is fine, because it means I can just have fun with it.