#xanderselfpara

[xander-robbinst0rres]

The summer after Cade turned 21, Callie and Arizona decided that they wanted to do a little something for her - after all, the girl was basically another member of their family, with how much time she spent at their house, how much trouble she'd been in with them when she was younger and how much of their food she'd eaten in her 21 years. It took just one phone call to Callie's dad and everything was handled. Cade was going on her first Carribean cruise, even if her mom was hella jealous. 

It was typical for the Robbins-Torres clan to take Cade out to dinner for her birthday, even if it wasn't for a Happy Meal anymore. So, as they sat around a dinner table for four, Xander pulled a card envelope out of the pocket of his jacket and Cade flashed him a look that expressed her half-worry. 

"Oh, what, because I'm able to legally consume alcohol, I get a heartfelt card and that's it?" the girl joked as she awkwardly ripped the card open. "Seriously? Fold the flap in next time, jerk. You're making me look bad in front of my favorite lesbos," Cade whispered to her god-brother before she fell quiet, reading a card written in his almost-illegible scribble. The more she read, the more she totally regretted everything that had just come out of her mouth. And then she got to the good stuff - her jaw nearly fell to the floor. 

Evil Spawn Jr., 

Holy shit balls, man, you're 21. Leaving me in the dust? Not sure how I can forgive you for that one, but I guess I'll have to try. 

Anyway. Momma, Mami and I wanted to do something crazy special for you, because you're crazy special to us. We talked to Papa Torres - yes, your one, true Cuban love - and we've booked the vacation of your life. So pack your bathing suit, grab your passport and you might want to bring something to get girls' phone numbers or something, because we're going on a cruise. Through the Caribbean. The whole thing is kinda sponsored by Skyy vodka, so get ready to get plastered drink responsibly. 

We love you, Cade! And get ready to make Momma Jo super jealous. I guess if she can talk your dad into it, we might have room for two more, but I doubt you want your dad coming along as you bring another girl home every night. 

Love you to the moon and back, 

Baby Blondie AKA the best wingman you'll ever have

PS: You and I have separate rooms, so go nuts!

"You guys," Cade's voice cracked as she looked up to Callie, Arizona and Xander, who were all looking at her about to cry. "You're going to make me have feelings... And stuff... I can't believe you'd do this!" She laughed as she wiped at her eyes. "I don't even know what to say... Just... Thank you. So much. I just... Ugh. Feelings. Everywhere." She laughed as Callie came around the table and wrapped her up in a hug. 

"We know, Cade, we know," Callie sighed, giving the girl a tight squeeze before giving the girl a hug. 

------

After spending a night at one of the Torres family hotels, the four of them were about to board the ship - Xander and Cade bouncing with excitement. If Callie and Arizona hadn't known the pair for going on 16 years, they would've been thoroughly annoyed. But, the truth was, this cruise also gave them five days away from their pagers, their residents, their cases and all of their kids. Why else would they have gotten separate rooms from Cade and Xander?

After their passports were stamped and their luggage was taken, Xander and Cade were free to roam the ship. There were three different clubs - a different one for the first three nights, and then two would need to be recycled - tons of bars set up all over the ship, pools everywhere you looked, and tons of girls. That's really all Cade cared about. If she were wearing a suit, this would be wear she fixed her tie, because she was going to take as many girls to bed as she possibly could. 

But first. 

"Baby Blondie?" she called out to her god-brother, who was wandering down a hallway. 

"Yes, dearest Evil Spawn Jr.?" he called back. 

"How long has it been since you shaved that god-awful beard of yours?" 

"Uhm... I don't know? This fantastic piece of art's been growing for a couple of weeks, why?"

Cade stroked at her hairless chin before she grabbed her baby god-brother by the elbow and they ended up at the Skyy & Sea (punny) sponsored bar. They were giving away free drinks on the first day at sea, and Cade didn't want to be the only one drinking. But before they could get to the bar, a photographer grabbed Cade's shoulder. 

"Excuse me, miss, would you and your boyfriend like to take a picture in our photobooth?" She asked, smiling with all of her fake white teeth. 

"Okay, seriously, he's my fucking brother, for fuck's sake." Cade grumbled, looking at Xander with slight disgust. "I'm not tapping that ass, promise. Second of all, sure, let's do this." Xander shrugged and the two of them leaned in for a relatively normal picture. Just as they were about to leave the photobooth and claim their free drink, they heard Callie's voice coming from the left. 

"Alexander Timothy Robbins-Torres!" She cried out, which made him jump out of his skin. Both of his moms were next to him in a second and he was even more terrified. Callie grabbed his ear and yanked on it, before muttering to him. "Just because you've been growing that goddamn beard does not mean that you are allowed to drink on this cruise. Are we clear?" The look on her face let him know that she was not messing around - he gulped back his blind fear and nodded his compliance. 

"I'm going to kill Mark when we get home. I'm actually going to murder him, and Addie's going to love me for it. Making my kid think that he can get into bars just because he can grow a full beard. Who does he think he is, ruining my vacation like that?" Callie continued on, staring him down. "Vamos [come on], get out of here. Go play in the kiddie pool or something," Callie muttered as she walked away, arm in arm with her wife. When she turned the corner, Xander was able to breathe again. She didn't realize it, but so was Cade. 

When Xander turned to look at his god-sister, she only pushed him and started laughing hysterically. "You got busted by Mami, and we haven't even been here an hour! That's a new record, Baby Blondie. A new record!" She shook her head and took two drinks from the bar - one for her, and one for her god-brother. He'd earned it. 

[xander-robbinst0rres]

Lewd Behavior [Character Development: Memories]

On a night when Xander didn't have soccer practice and Cade didn't have to work, the stars seemed to align for Evil Spawn Jr. and Baby McSteamy to actually go and... Well, be kids. The fact that she was 21 and he was 16 meant nothing. And with the entire town of Seattle and their respective IDs at their disposal, the only thing the two geniuses could think to do was go to the movies. Depending on what they found at the box office, it'd either mean an evening of watching the leading lady's ass or being as obnoxious as humanly possible. Either option sounded fine to them.  Standing in front of the marquee, Xander went through the titles, all receiving negative answers from what the hospital has come to known as his worse half. It seemed that the two could never quite behave when in each other's presence. And it'd been that way since their days in the hospital day care, her seven and him three.  "Soldier of Assassination?" He asked, an eyebrow raised at exactly what that could be. It received a small gag from Cade, signaling him to move on.  "The... Stolen.. Flames?" was next on the marquee, and he was a little intrigued as to what 210 minutes of stolen fire could possible amount to. This one received a violent head shake, so he moved on.  "Okay, this one has to be a winner. Killer Clowns from Outer Space!" When Cade's eyebrow went up, Xander knew he had a winner. "The heckling potential for this movie isn't even real. We have to. It's practically begging us to." When Cade finally caved, the two practically bounced to the Box Office, hoping that the $9.00 the theater was charging would be justified by the assumed shittiness of the movie.  'Two students for Killer Clowns, please?" Cade asked the cashier. With a flash of their respective student IDs, the tickets were sold. Cade paid for the movie, Xander covered the snack bar - an order of nachos to share, an extra large popcorn (and its refill), two large drinks, a bag of peanut M&M's, two Snickers (one was never enough) and a cinnamon pretzel for dessert. If there was one thing that Xander and Cade ever took seriously, it was their food. And movie theater food was both the best and the worst food they could get their hands on. Cristina Yang would be disgusted, but they didn't care. She'd be long since retired by the time they needed true cardiac attention.  After fifteen minutes of previews - My Little Pony coming to the big screen (again?), another one of those fucking Ice Age movies (seriously, there could not have been that many ice ages in history), a flick with an irrelevant name in which Channing Tatum walks around shirtless for about 80% of the time, and Faster and Furious 23 - the title sequence for Killer Clowns came around and Cade was practically bouncing in her seat. The cast was a bunch of no-namers and Disney Channel write-offs, and Cade was loving every second of it.  "So, I wonder. If clowns are famous for packing themselves into cars, you think they're the same way with space ships? Are there going to be hundreds of clowns coming out of the rocket?" Cade started at full volume, much to the chagrin of those around her. A couple of dirty looks, and they weren't even ten minutes into the movie.  At about a half an hour in, one of the clowns blew one of the soldiers' heads off, and Cade and Xander absolutely lost it. They were roaring with laughter. The people surrounding them weren't quite as amused. But, the way Xander thought about it, it was their loss. Because Evil Spawn Jr. and Baby McSteamy were hilarious.  Just as the next scene was getting underway and the two of them were finally calming down, one of the theater attendants came and tapped Xander on the shoulder. "Excuse me, but the staff is getting complaints about your volume... Would you mind keeping it down for everyone else to enjoy the movie? I really don't want to have to kick you guys out, but I'll have to if we get another complaint." The guy stared at his feet the entire time - he went to Xander's high school, played on the tennis team and didn't really have much to say to anyone. Ever.  "Yeah, sure thing, buddy. We're real sorry about that." Cade replied with a cheeky smile, and the guy nodded as he walked back to his position right next to the emergency exit. She brought her fist up and hit Xander in the chest, motioning back toward the attendant. "Dude, total tool. I'm only trying to enjoy my.. Err... Killer Clowns." She couldn't even say it with a straight face. This movie was ridiculous.  It was about an hour into the movie when Cade could not control herself anymore. The clowns were attacking kids at the local high school - the white paint had worn off their faces and their green skin was beginning to shine through. Cade and Xander both began to roar with laughter as the high school kid yanked at the clown's wig, trying anything to escape. This movie was better than anything she could've imagined. Especially for a movie that only called for serious heckling. "What the hell do you think that's going to do? You're going to die!" Cade called out as she continued to laugh, tears streaming down her face. At that point, the same guy who'd come over to talk to them earlier was back, flashlight in hand.  "You guys... I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You're disrupting the other guests and I did warn you earlier." He recited, almost as if they were his lines straight from the managers of the theater.  "But... I didn't even get to finish my snack. Where else is it appropriate to eat a Snickers and a cinnamon pretzel?" Cade asked, trying really hard to feign seriousness. Xander just sat back and watched the exchange, amazed at his best friend's ability to keep herself composed.  "I'm really sorry, but I need you guys to leave. Immediately, or I'm going to have to call my manager in here." Xander put a hand on Cade's arm before she tried to fight back again, motioning for her to just get up.  "C'mon, Cade, not worth it. Let's go sit outside and finish stuffing our faces. It'll look pathetic, but it's cool." The theater attendant still couldn't meet Xander's eyes, which made him snicker a little bit, but the two exited the movie through the emergency exit. Checking his phone, Xander nodded approvingly. "Well, we made it through an hour of Killer Clowns. Not our best work, but we've done worse, no?" A slight shove to the shoulder from Cade and the two cackled all the way to his Mazda 3 - a gift from his Dad and Addison after his SAT scores came back in the 90th percentile - where the two finished their food and continued to make fun of the Killer Clowns.  "Y'know, maybe we should find something better to do on a Tuesday night than to come and heckle movies..." Xander trailed, filling his mouth with a handful of popcorn.  "Oh, what, and miss that hella attractive view?" Cade scoffed, gesturing to Xander's attempt to chew the popcorn down to swallow-able bites. "Not in a million years, Torres. Not in a million years."

[xander-robbinst0rres]

Punching in a Dream || Self Para

Xander was ecstatic that his siblings were finally coming home; Liv had been traveling the world for god-only-remembered-long, Hadley had been in Mexico, Sofia had been working and no one had really heard from Ella for a while. But regardless of how fun it was having his siblings home, soccer was still stressful and it was getting more and more stressful everyday. Claiming that he needed to go for a solo run, Xander disappeared into his room to get his shoes on and grab his iPhone and headphones to be able to disappear through eight miles of urban jungle. As he left, the blonde realized he almost forgot the entire reason he was taking this walk, and backtracked into his room. Digging through his sock drawer, he found the old iPod box he'd kept just for shits and giggles, and pulled out what was inside it. A pack of Camel Wides and his orange lighter. He didn't smoke much, but with the pressure that was on him in the weight room? He felt like he needed it. His Mami would kill him. His dad would be disappointed. Addie would wonder just where the hell he was able to get his hands on cigarettes. But his Momma? She'd understand. She did the same thing. She smoked when she was stressed. 

Neon green laces tied so tight they almost cut off circulation, iPhone strapped to his arm, headphones worked up through his shirt - he was ready to take off. He stomped his left foot on the ground a couple of times until he heard his RunWithNike App initiate, and then he was off. While at first, he took off in a sprint, it didn't take long for his footsteps to fall into a pattern against the pavement. The sounds of Florence + the Machine, Young the Giant and the Naked & Famous were just a couple of the voices that Pandora sent through his headphones to keep him company; each time the song changed, Xander felt a little more motivation to move forward. When he got about halfway through his course, he spotted the alley that he typically hid down. From there, he sprinted, veered left and almost screeched to a halt. 

After taking a few minutes with his hands above his head to catch his breath, Xander pulled the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and put one to his lips; two flicks of the orange Bic lighter, and excess smoke flowed freely from the opposite end of the cigarette. After a couple of drags, he started to feel the nicotine rushing through his system, and he took a deep breath - that feeling calmed all of the stress he'd been feeling. The stress of weight training. The stress of learning a new position. The stress of his senior year of high school. The stress of finding a college to go to - a decision where every one of his four parents had a strong opinion. Even if it was only July, and the storm that was the next year of his life wasn't set to make landfall until September, Xander was starting to feel the shifts in weather patterns. And taking a drag from a cigarette, watching excess smoke float into the humid Seattle air calmed his nerves ever so slightly. 

When the cigarette had been reduced to nothing more than the filter, Xander dropped the butt into a puddle and stomped it out with his heel, making sure that it was out completely. The pack and the lighter went back in his pocket, only to be resurfaced when he was leaving the house. In a house full of doctors and doctors-to-be, there was no way that Xander was going to take the risk of someone finding out that he, just like his Momma, had picked up the habit. Nope, not a snowball's chance in hell. 

On the uphill course home, Xander pushed himself to move faster to make up for the 15-or-so-minutes he lost to the Camel in his mouth and the thoughts of soccer, training and college. They were all things that consumed him just about all of the time, as they should. And they were all things that he tried to get his best friend, Noah, to think more about... But that was something else entirely. He could only work so many miracles. As Xander pushed himself harder and harder, running in the bike lane to be able to run faster, anything that was worrying him finally just left him. He was able to run in peace. Just him, the pavement and Pandora. 

Coming up to his moms' house, he took one more lap around the block, to cool down; taking a look at his phone, he discovered that he'd hit a new high. He'd run 8.3 miles in a little over 45 minutes. As much as his Mami had warned him in the past about working out stressed, it was a good motivator. It was almost as good as working out when he was angry. Nothing felt better than a run when he was pissed off at everyone. 

As he stepped in through the front door, as quietly as he could, Xander could only hope that no one would bombard him with questions as to where he had been before he could get into a shower, change clothes, or put his cigarettes away. Because, as close as they were, there were just some things Xander needed to keep to himself. How he coped with stress outside of soccer was definitely one of them.