baby blondie;

alexander timothy robbins-torres. he/him/his. i am the baby blondie, [almost] the last of the montgomery-sloan-robbins-torres clan.

[xander-robbinst0rres]

Xan the Trans*Boy || Pt. 4

In an exam room of the outpatient surgery ward, Alexa sat with all parents present. Addison had called in a favor with an endocrinologist from Columbia, and he would be there any minute. A resident had already run Alexa's labs, and the family was preparing for the hormone blocking implant that would allow the little boy to delay going into the wrong puberty.  

Sitting on a chair in the corner of the room, Alexa's youngest sister Skylar sat, her knees pulled up to her chest and a copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in her hands.  

"Now, 'Lexa, remember how I explained what this is?" Addison asked, to which Alexa gave an enthused nod. "Care to share with the class?"

"Well, the hormone blocker is like putting a car in neutral. Everything is still running, the engine is still burning gas, but we're not moving backwards or forwards. So most developments my body has made won't regress. But I won't make anymore. The downside is that I might not get taller for a while, and I'll look like a little kid for a little bit longer, but puberty is essentially halted." A small sigh could be heard from the corner of the room. Skylar looked around the room, rolled her eyes, and returned to her book.

"Anything you'd like to add, Skylarpedia?" Mark called over, a little more gruff than he'd intended.

"All metaphors do are cloud the explanation with imagery that doesn't necessarily relate. Your body is not a car, Lex, and it never will be. Your body is a body. The human kind, I'll add." Her tone was even and she didn't bother to look up from her book.

"Well, how would you explain it, if you're so much smarter than me?" Alexa called back. Now that her assistance was being requested, Skylar put her book down and sat criss-cross on the chair.

"A hormone blocker is either an medication taken by intramuscular injection, or by implantation of a device in the upper arm. Today, Lex, you'll be undergoing the implantation of a device, because it runs a lesser risk of improper dosages. I still don't understand why that's a factor if we basically live in a hospital, but that wasn't my call." Skylar rolled her eyes emphatically before she continued. "The hormone blocker suppresses two major puberty-inducing hormones, Luteinizing Hormone, or LH, and Follicle Stimulating Hormone, or FSH. These hormones control the development of secondary sex characteristics. In order to support your transition, the blocker will prevent the development of fatty tissue developing in traditionally female patterns, including the face, hips, thighs, and breast areas. It'll also prevent the continued development of the ovaries, which would result in the beginning of menstruation in anywhere from a year to four years."

"Well, we know which of the kids is going to win the first Harper Avery," Arizona smirked, nodding approvingly. Alexa looked a little uncomfortable, so Mami swooped in with a hug and a kiss to the top of the head.

At no better moment, the doctor came in and lit up the room with a huge smile. “Well, I’m sorry to keep you all waiting,” he nodded before directing attention at Addison and Mark. “Addie, Mark, so good to see the both of you again. Can we still do dinner tomorrow night?”

Both Mark and Addison uttered different versions of “Sure, why not,” before Addison gestured to Alexa. “Dr. Stone, these are Lex’s moms, Dr. Arizona Robbins and Dr. Callie Torres,” after a quick round of handshakes and ‘nice to meet you’s, all eyes were on Alexa. “And the patient of the hour.... This is Lex.”

The truth is that no one had addressed the elephant in the family - if Alexa was going to transition, what was his name going to be? To be as supportive as she could be, Addison reminded herself to use “Lex,” the most gender neutral form of his name.

But that was a question for another day.

[xander-robbinst0rres]

Xan the Trans*Boy || Pt. 3

Callie watched as, under the faint light of the dining room table (which may or may not have needed a few bulbs replaced, and it may or may not have been something she was asked to do something about), Arizona hunched over a stack of books, a highlighter in one hand and a pen scribbling notes on a legal pad with the other. Their kids had mostly gone to bed, save for Sofia, who was studying for a biology midterm. The sight before Callie now was eerily similar to the sight she’d witnessed of her oldest daughter just moments ago. 

As adorable as the glimpse into med school ‘Zona was, Callie knew that the frantic studying was in direct response to their baby, who Alex had recently had a conversation with them about. Alexa had had some.... Questions for her GodPops, as he was lovingly nicknamed, and Alex didn’t know what to do other than come running to her four parents. 

“I’m sorry, she told you what?” Arizona’s voice was but a whisper, but considering the silence in the attending’s lounge, she was heard loud and clear.

“Guys, she’s ten years old, for crying out loud, are we really going to -” Mark started before getting the nastiest glare from Addison he’d ever gotten. 

“Don’t you say another word, Mark Everett Sloan, or I swear....” Addison trailed off before looking around the table. Callie hadn’t said anything, Arizona looked like her perky little brain was spinning into overdrive, Alex looked more terrified than Addison had ever seen him, and Mark’s mouth still hung open. “Well, what are we going to do?” She asked matter-of-factly, leaning onto her elbows. 

“What do you mean, what are we going to do?” Callie asked, blinking rapidly as if she’d just woken up. 

Addison sighed and straightened her posture just a bit. “We’re all doctors, and we know the statistics. Kids that are in, even what they perceive to be, unsupportive home situations are more than three times likely to -” 

“Who said anything about unsupportive?” Alex jumped in. He knew that he was in over his head, and that he was four against one in a shark tank, but this was his godkid they were talking about. He was no longer reporting back on his findings after a very long conversation with the second-to-youngest  Montgomery-Sloan-Robbins-Torres kid. 

“Again I’ll say - we’re all doctors. We know what patients consider to be a show of support, and we also know what they perceive to be a situation where they’re not believed or supported, by doctors or by family.” Leaning back into her chair, Addison crossed her arms over her chest and looked over her glasses. “We can either choose to be supportive, or we can try and ignore this, but we won’t be able to stick our heads in the sand forever.” 

Callie was slowly losing her cool. This was her baby, her beautiful, blue-eyed, blonde ponytail-ed baby. Sure, the same baby that never came home without being covered in dirt, regardless of the outing, the baby that hadn’t worn a dress since her Christening, and the same baby that passionately cheered for her Seahawks with her GodPops. But still, Callie’s baby girl all the same. A tomboy she didn’t mind. But transitioning? 

“So what exactly are you suggesting, Addison?” Callie asked through gritted teeth. 

“I’m suggesting that we hear ‘Lexa out. Let 's hear what’s going on in that beautiful head we all love so much. 'Lexa is going to give us way more information that we can come up with here.” Addison’s answer was calm and collected. She knew where Callie was coming from, and what her background was. That was the parent side of Addie. The doctor side of Addie had been treating transgender patients since she was a resident, and found joy in allowing her patients to become the people, in a physical sense, that they had always been. “I think that, to buy us some time on this one, we should consider the use of hormone blockers. I know the best doctors in transgender health care and they’d be more than willing to come up here -” Mark put his hand up, just barely, as in to jump into the conversation. 

“Mark Sloan, I swear, if there is one unsupportive word coming out of your mouth, I will kick your ass up and down the Puget Sound, understand?” Addison sighed. 

“Understood,” he nodded before continuing on. “I don’t want ‘Lexa to think that we don’t think she knows herself well enough to make this call. To be able to put this into words. Especially if it was a patient of Alex’s that brought her some information to put together her own puzzle.” 

Callie looked from Alex, to Addison, to Mark, and then to Arizona. She felt like the Mommas Gay were being ganged up on, and it made her feel a little claustrophobic. Which is strange, because she’d never felt claustrophobic before. Just as she was about to chime in, Chief Bailey came waltzing into the lounge. If Callie didn’t know better, Chief Bailey had her ‘I just got laid’ face on. 

“Now what in God’s name are the five of you sitting around this table for? Don’t you have lives to save?” She asked as she poured herself a cup of coffee. “Wait... You five... What is Miss Cadence up to now?” 

“Why do you always assume Cade did something?” Alex bit back, leaning his chair back on two legs. Bailey pushed him back down to the ground before shaking her head. 

“Isn’t it always Cadence?” 

Arizona had been staring off into space, trying to wrap her head around the information she was given by the doctor she’d raised since he was a baby. “’Lexa had a chat with Alex, and he was filling us in.” 

“Oh, so not Cadence. Go on.” Bailey gave a motion for Arizona to keep going, and Arizona explained the matter at hand in the most straightforward manner she could. If Bailey didn’t know this weird, blended family as well as she did, she could have sworn that Arizona was presenting on a patient. The fact was that the youngest Baby Blondie had confided in her godfather that she might be transgender, after Alex had a patient he had to go rounds with the mom over. 

“Well, if you want my opinion,” Bailey paused for a second, staring at the dead expressions around the table. “I know you didn’t ask for it, but I’m going to give it to you anyway. It seems like y’all have just had your eyes open to something that the rest of us have seen for a while. And, so help me god, if you do not use those pretty, expensive little brains of yours to help care for that beautiful child that all five of you claim to love so much, I’m going to suspend all of you.” 

Arizona didn’t notice that Callie was right behind her until she went to highlight a page of the book she was studying, and found no highlighter. Her wife had carefully removed all instruments from her hands, and was starting to close her books. 

“’Zona, we can’t just read our way through this. We know the science of what’s going on.” Callie sighed. “Just like when she fractured her collarbone, we’re going to just have to sit back and be parents here.” 

For Arizona, that was going to be the hardest part. 

[xander-robbinst0rres]

Xan the Trans*Boy || Pt. 2

Alex had just managed to get out of the shower and pull his gym shorts on when his bathroom door went flying open. “Evil Spawn, I swear, if you don’t start knocking before you just burst into a room, especially a bathroom...” Alex trailed before turning around and seeing his wide-eyed goddaughter. “Oh, ‘Lexa, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” 

“It’s okay, my Momma tells me the same thing all the time. But when Sof does it to me, I’m supposed to ‘shut up and get out of her bathroom’, like she owns the world or somethin’.” Alexa let out an exasperated sigh before shaking her head to refocus. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something, you know, godpops to godkid.” 

“Ah, geez, I don’t want to be giving you a birds and the bees talk, can’t you go talk to Addie about that?” 

“Ew, no, birds and bees can wait, I promise.” She faked a gag, and then took a deep breath. “No, actually, I wanted to talk to you about the patient you have right now. The boy who was born a girl.” 

Alex sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “Baby Blondie, you know I can’t talk about patients with you, right?” Alexa pouted a little bit, and Alex sat down on the stool in the bathroom. “I can’t talk about specifics, but you can ask questions and I’ll try to answer. Does that sound fair?” 

“The fairest.” She nodded and sat down next to her godfather. “Well, I was listening to you talk about him, and, well, is there a word for people like him?” 

“Well, Jesse is what you’d call transgender. That means that, when he was born, he was born with a certain... set of parts, you know?” Alexa nodded, motioning for him to continue. “Well, when you have a certain set of parts, there are a lot of expectations as to what that means for you, as a person, you know?” 

“Yeah, so boys have penises and they’re rough and athletic and more likely to be huge jerks, right?” 

Alex frowned for just a second and then shrugged, “Yeah, basically. We’ll get back to that. The point is, there are some people who don’t feel like what they were given when they were born is what they were meant to have. And that makes them feel really uncomfortable in their bodies.” 

Alexa nodded and looked down at the tile floor. “So... If someone is... transgender, what can they do about it?” 

“Well, they can talk to their doctor, and figure out a game plan. You know how if people hurt their bones, or their babies are sick before they’re born, they go talk to your moms?” He got an affirmative nod from Alexa, “Well, people can start by talking to a general doctor, and if they need to talk to someone specific, general doctors can help them find the doctors they need.” 

Alexa didn’t say anything, so Alex sat there for a minute, unsure of what to do. On one hand, was this just a kid being curious about something she had never experienced? She was the kid of many doctors, after all. 

“Hey kiddo, is there something we need to talk about, godpops to godkid?” 

[xander-robbinst0rres]

Xan the Trans*Boy || Pt.1

Alexa Renae Robbins-Torres was born the third of four siblings. Her Mami carried her while her Momma, Dad, and Addie waited not-so-patiently on the outside. Meanwhile, Ella pretended to be an angsty teenager and Sofia was still her older sister’s copycat-in-chief. After Alexa would be Skylar, and that would round out a brood of eight total - that’s not including the extended family they had at Seattle Grace Mercy West. Her dad was severely out-numbered, with the score reading 1 for testosterone and 7 for estrogen.

Of the four kids, Alexa was the tomboy of them for sure. The first time she was able to choose her own haircut, her Mami had to beg and plead that she not chop off all of her beautiful blonde hair. Though it only ever got thrown in a ponytail or a single French braid, was constantly sat on/had food and/or mud in it, and was just generally a pain in the ass… Alexa kept her hair at the mid-back length she had achieved because she didn’t want her Mami to cry. And it definitely would have happened.

At 10 years old, she was a forward on her soccer team and spent more time covered in dirt than not - even if it drove her Momma and Mami absolutely nuts.

One night, her parents were stuck at the hospital later than usual, and her godfather picked  her up from soccer and brought her home with him. This was a fairly normal occurrence; her and Cade would share rooms/houses anywhere from 2-4 times a week. That was the cool thing about having a chosen family made up of doctors and their kids - everyone knew the struggle.

"Cade, 'Lexa, you better get those hands washed and get down here for dinner, Momma Jo and I are chowing down in about 3 minutes, with or without you!" Alexa's godfather, Alex, called up the stairs before coming back and resuming his conversation with Jo. "I just don't know what to do about this kid." He sighed as he finished bringing in the plate of burgers from the kitchen.

"Well, what does the mom say?" Jo asked back, a stack of plates in her own hands. The two continued to get everything onto the table as they talked about a patient they shared.

"The mom is so f***ing stupid, she just wants her son to forget about this whole thing." Alexa had run down the stairs and was about to make a rather obnoxious entrance into the kitchen, when she heard how frustrated her uncle Alex was about a patient.

"I mean, if she doesn't want her daughter to -" Jo started and was immediately cut off by Alex.

"Son, Jo. Son. This kid was sobbing when I came into his room, and he broke down and he told me. He's never been a girl, and he bought some fucking fake testosterone online so that people would finally stop calling him a girl. And now he's in our Peds ward and I don't know that we can turn this one around."

"So walk me through this whole thing, because I'm not sure I understand. Jessica-"

"Jesse," Alex cut Jo off sharply, before taking a deep breath and continuing. "Was assigned female at birth. Vagina, ovaries, whole nine yards. As a little kid, he said it didn't really matter what was going on, uh, downstairs, because no one made a big deal of it. It wasn't until he hit puberty and his chest got to be the size of Neptune and his period started that he started to feel really gross about his body. Couldn't look in a mirror, hated getting naked, wouldn't shower for as long as he could put off."

"Gross, might I add," Jo muttered, sitting across from Alex.

"Hey, I don't say anything about you when you're stuck at the hospital for days on end and don't exactly smell like a bed of roses."

"That literally never happens."

"More often than not, you smell like what's used to make roses grow, and not the roses themselves," Alex snapped back and Jo's mouth hung wide open. "Anyway. This kid had been talking to people online that felt the same way that he does, and they recommended that he start hormone therapy. The only issue is, in Washington, you have to be over 18 to go see the endocrinologist that can get you those drugs. And Jesse knew he couldn't wait that long."

"So the kid ordered the kind of testosterone that body builders use!?" Jo interjected, much to Alex's annoyance.

"Essentially. He ordered Testosterone Cypionate online, and got lucky. Got a good batch. things were going fine, this went on for a year and his parents didn't know anything about it. A few weeks ago, he noticed he was running low and put in an order online to get what he needed. Just like always. The batch got here three days ago, and he was due for his shot yesterday. So, like always, he sanitized the area and got ready to inject himself. He was fine for a little bit after the shot, but proceeded to have a seizure. His parents called 911, and was brought here."

Alexa was watching from the dark living room as her godfather and her best friend's mom were talking about this kid, but tuned out when Uncle Alex got to the part about Aunt Jo smelling bad. She was too hung up on how he described this kid.

The family got through dinner, and Alexa helped her Aunt Jo clean the kitchen - something Cade had yet to do, and she actually lives here. Just as they were finishing up, Jo looked down at the small girl and smiled. "Hey 'Lexa, why don't you go upstairs and get your backpack from Cade's room and I'll take you home?"

"Actually, I need to go talk to Uncle Alex really quick. I'll be back down soon!"

[xander-robbinst0rres]

The summer after Cade turned 21, Callie and Arizona decided that they wanted to do a little something for her - after all, the girl was basically another member of their family, with how much time she spent at their house, how much trouble she'd been in with them when she was younger and how much of their food she'd eaten in her 21 years. It took just one phone call to Callie's dad and everything was handled. Cade was going on her first Carribean cruise, even if her mom was hella jealous. 

It was typical for the Robbins-Torres clan to take Cade out to dinner for her birthday, even if it wasn't for a Happy Meal anymore. So, as they sat around a dinner table for four, Xander pulled a card envelope out of the pocket of his jacket and Cade flashed him a look that expressed her half-worry. 

"Oh, what, because I'm able to legally consume alcohol, I get a heartfelt card and that's it?" the girl joked as she awkwardly ripped the card open. "Seriously? Fold the flap in next time, jerk. You're making me look bad in front of my favorite lesbos," Cade whispered to her god-brother before she fell quiet, reading a card written in his almost-illegible scribble. The more she read, the more she totally regretted everything that had just come out of her mouth. And then she got to the good stuff - her jaw nearly fell to the floor. 

Evil Spawn Jr., 

Holy shit balls, man, you're 21. Leaving me in the dust? Not sure how I can forgive you for that one, but I guess I'll have to try. 

Anyway. Momma, Mami and I wanted to do something crazy special for you, because you're crazy special to us. We talked to Papa Torres - yes, your one, true Cuban love - and we've booked the vacation of your life. So pack your bathing suit, grab your passport and you might want to bring something to get girls' phone numbers or something, because we're going on a cruise. Through the Caribbean. The whole thing is kinda sponsored by Skyy vodka, so get ready to get plastered drink responsibly. 

We love you, Cade! And get ready to make Momma Jo super jealous. I guess if she can talk your dad into it, we might have room for two more, but I doubt you want your dad coming along as you bring another girl home every night. 

Love you to the moon and back, 

Baby Blondie AKA the best wingman you'll ever have

PS: You and I have separate rooms, so go nuts!

"You guys," Cade's voice cracked as she looked up to Callie, Arizona and Xander, who were all looking at her about to cry. "You're going to make me have feelings... And stuff... I can't believe you'd do this!" She laughed as she wiped at her eyes. "I don't even know what to say... Just... Thank you. So much. I just... Ugh. Feelings. Everywhere." She laughed as Callie came around the table and wrapped her up in a hug. 

"We know, Cade, we know," Callie sighed, giving the girl a tight squeeze before giving the girl a hug. 

------

After spending a night at one of the Torres family hotels, the four of them were about to board the ship - Xander and Cade bouncing with excitement. If Callie and Arizona hadn't known the pair for going on 16 years, they would've been thoroughly annoyed. But, the truth was, this cruise also gave them five days away from their pagers, their residents, their cases and all of their kids. Why else would they have gotten separate rooms from Cade and Xander?

After their passports were stamped and their luggage was taken, Xander and Cade were free to roam the ship. There were three different clubs - a different one for the first three nights, and then two would need to be recycled - tons of bars set up all over the ship, pools everywhere you looked, and tons of girls. That's really all Cade cared about. If she were wearing a suit, this would be wear she fixed her tie, because she was going to take as many girls to bed as she possibly could. 

But first. 

"Baby Blondie?" she called out to her god-brother, who was wandering down a hallway. 

"Yes, dearest Evil Spawn Jr.?" he called back. 

"How long has it been since you shaved that god-awful beard of yours?" 

"Uhm... I don't know? This fantastic piece of art's been growing for a couple of weeks, why?"

Cade stroked at her hairless chin before she grabbed her baby god-brother by the elbow and they ended up at the Skyy & Sea (punny) sponsored bar. They were giving away free drinks on the first day at sea, and Cade didn't want to be the only one drinking. But before they could get to the bar, a photographer grabbed Cade's shoulder. 

"Excuse me, miss, would you and your boyfriend like to take a picture in our photobooth?" She asked, smiling with all of her fake white teeth. 

"Okay, seriously, he's my fucking brother, for fuck's sake." Cade grumbled, looking at Xander with slight disgust. "I'm not tapping that ass, promise. Second of all, sure, let's do this." Xander shrugged and the two of them leaned in for a relatively normal picture. Just as they were about to leave the photobooth and claim their free drink, they heard Callie's voice coming from the left. 

"Alexander Timothy Robbins-Torres!" She cried out, which made him jump out of his skin. Both of his moms were next to him in a second and he was even more terrified. Callie grabbed his ear and yanked on it, before muttering to him. "Just because you've been growing that goddamn beard does not mean that you are allowed to drink on this cruise. Are we clear?" The look on her face let him know that she was not messing around - he gulped back his blind fear and nodded his compliance. 

"I'm going to kill Mark when we get home. I'm actually going to murder him, and Addie's going to love me for it. Making my kid think that he can get into bars just because he can grow a full beard. Who does he think he is, ruining my vacation like that?" Callie continued on, staring him down. "Vamos [come on], get out of here. Go play in the kiddie pool or something," Callie muttered as she walked away, arm in arm with her wife. When she turned the corner, Xander was able to breathe again. She didn't realize it, but so was Cade. 

When Xander turned to look at his god-sister, she only pushed him and started laughing hysterically. "You got busted by Mami, and we haven't even been here an hour! That's a new record, Baby Blondie. A new record!" She shook her head and took two drinks from the bar - one for her, and one for her god-brother. He'd earned it. 

[xander-robbinst0rres]

Lewd Behavior [Character Development: Memories]

On a night when Xander didn't have soccer practice and Cade didn't have to work, the stars seemed to align for Evil Spawn Jr. and Baby McSteamy to actually go and... Well, be kids. The fact that she was 21 and he was 16 meant nothing. And with the entire town of Seattle and their respective IDs at their disposal, the only thing the two geniuses could think to do was go to the movies. Depending on what they found at the box office, it'd either mean an evening of watching the leading lady's ass or being as obnoxious as humanly possible. Either option sounded fine to them.  Standing in front of the marquee, Xander went through the titles, all receiving negative answers from what the hospital has come to known as his worse half. It seemed that the two could never quite behave when in each other's presence. And it'd been that way since their days in the hospital day care, her seven and him three.  "Soldier of Assassination?" He asked, an eyebrow raised at exactly what that could be. It received a small gag from Cade, signaling him to move on.  "The... Stolen.. Flames?" was next on the marquee, and he was a little intrigued as to what 210 minutes of stolen fire could possible amount to. This one received a violent head shake, so he moved on.  "Okay, this one has to be a winner. Killer Clowns from Outer Space!" When Cade's eyebrow went up, Xander knew he had a winner. "The heckling potential for this movie isn't even real. We have to. It's practically begging us to." When Cade finally caved, the two practically bounced to the Box Office, hoping that the $9.00 the theater was charging would be justified by the assumed shittiness of the movie.  'Two students for Killer Clowns, please?" Cade asked the cashier. With a flash of their respective student IDs, the tickets were sold. Cade paid for the movie, Xander covered the snack bar - an order of nachos to share, an extra large popcorn (and its refill), two large drinks, a bag of peanut M&M's, two Snickers (one was never enough) and a cinnamon pretzel for dessert. If there was one thing that Xander and Cade ever took seriously, it was their food. And movie theater food was both the best and the worst food they could get their hands on. Cristina Yang would be disgusted, but they didn't care. She'd be long since retired by the time they needed true cardiac attention.  After fifteen minutes of previews - My Little Pony coming to the big screen (again?), another one of those fucking Ice Age movies (seriously, there could not have been that many ice ages in history), a flick with an irrelevant name in which Channing Tatum walks around shirtless for about 80% of the time, and Faster and Furious 23 - the title sequence for Killer Clowns came around and Cade was practically bouncing in her seat. The cast was a bunch of no-namers and Disney Channel write-offs, and Cade was loving every second of it.  "So, I wonder. If clowns are famous for packing themselves into cars, you think they're the same way with space ships? Are there going to be hundreds of clowns coming out of the rocket?" Cade started at full volume, much to the chagrin of those around her. A couple of dirty looks, and they weren't even ten minutes into the movie.  At about a half an hour in, one of the clowns blew one of the soldiers' heads off, and Cade and Xander absolutely lost it. They were roaring with laughter. The people surrounding them weren't quite as amused. But, the way Xander thought about it, it was their loss. Because Evil Spawn Jr. and Baby McSteamy were hilarious.  Just as the next scene was getting underway and the two of them were finally calming down, one of the theater attendants came and tapped Xander on the shoulder. "Excuse me, but the staff is getting complaints about your volume... Would you mind keeping it down for everyone else to enjoy the movie? I really don't want to have to kick you guys out, but I'll have to if we get another complaint." The guy stared at his feet the entire time - he went to Xander's high school, played on the tennis team and didn't really have much to say to anyone. Ever.  "Yeah, sure thing, buddy. We're real sorry about that." Cade replied with a cheeky smile, and the guy nodded as he walked back to his position right next to the emergency exit. She brought her fist up and hit Xander in the chest, motioning back toward the attendant. "Dude, total tool. I'm only trying to enjoy my.. Err... Killer Clowns." She couldn't even say it with a straight face. This movie was ridiculous.  It was about an hour into the movie when Cade could not control herself anymore. The clowns were attacking kids at the local high school - the white paint had worn off their faces and their green skin was beginning to shine through. Cade and Xander both began to roar with laughter as the high school kid yanked at the clown's wig, trying anything to escape. This movie was better than anything she could've imagined. Especially for a movie that only called for serious heckling. "What the hell do you think that's going to do? You're going to die!" Cade called out as she continued to laugh, tears streaming down her face. At that point, the same guy who'd come over to talk to them earlier was back, flashlight in hand.  "You guys... I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You're disrupting the other guests and I did warn you earlier." He recited, almost as if they were his lines straight from the managers of the theater.  "But... I didn't even get to finish my snack. Where else is it appropriate to eat a Snickers and a cinnamon pretzel?" Cade asked, trying really hard to feign seriousness. Xander just sat back and watched the exchange, amazed at his best friend's ability to keep herself composed.  "I'm really sorry, but I need you guys to leave. Immediately, or I'm going to have to call my manager in here." Xander put a hand on Cade's arm before she tried to fight back again, motioning for her to just get up.  "C'mon, Cade, not worth it. Let's go sit outside and finish stuffing our faces. It'll look pathetic, but it's cool." The theater attendant still couldn't meet Xander's eyes, which made him snicker a little bit, but the two exited the movie through the emergency exit. Checking his phone, Xander nodded approvingly. "Well, we made it through an hour of Killer Clowns. Not our best work, but we've done worse, no?" A slight shove to the shoulder from Cade and the two cackled all the way to his Mazda 3 - a gift from his Dad and Addison after his SAT scores came back in the 90th percentile - where the two finished their food and continued to make fun of the Killer Clowns.  "Y'know, maybe we should find something better to do on a Tuesday night than to come and heckle movies..." Xander trailed, filling his mouth with a handful of popcorn.  "Oh, what, and miss that hella attractive view?" Cade scoffed, gesturing to Xander's attempt to chew the popcorn down to swallow-able bites. "Not in a million years, Torres. Not in a million years."

[evilspawnjr]

T.G.I.F [Cade/Xan]

[xander-robbinst0rres]

/ncadence-karev:

Cadence leaned against the wall and groaned quietly. There was a pounding in her head and she felt utterly disgusting. “One phone call.” She heard the officer behind her. 

"I know the drill." She grumbled, holding out her hand for a couple of quarters. The officer made a face at her before handing over some change. 

Running her fingers through her hair, Cade inserted the quarters in the payphone and dialed the first number that came to her still inebriated mind. When someone picked up, Cadence stood up straight. 

"Xan? Dude, I’m in jail—"

"You get one phone call and you call a teenager?" 

Cadence frowned and turned to glare at the cop. “Nobody asked for your opinion, Phil!” 

"Watch it, Karev, I’ll keep you here longer." He said seriously. 

Cade gave him a grin and batted her eyelashes. “Please, you like me too much to keep me here, Phil… You know I don’t play well with others.”

"Which is what landed you here in the first place… Just make your damn phone call. You’re lucky I know your parents."

"My ‘rents are probably in surgery anyway, so I gotta borrow my bro’s okay? Since you’re so nosy, Phil. God." She scoffed before turning her attention back to the phone, ignoring the ‘That’s officer Connor’. "Xan, get momma blondie to come get me, please? She’s one of the only ones who still likes me." 

It had been a bad idea to go out for her birthday. She’d gotten into a fist fight with a guy because she had been making out with the dude’s girl. She walked away with a cut on her cheek from a punch that would have hurt a lot worse had she not moved. In fact the guy who started it was the one who ended up more worse for ware. Cadence had given him an uppercut to the jaw, a black eye and a fractured nose before someone pulled them apart. 

It was the cops and that’s how Cadence had landed herself a front row seat watching other women pee in a metal toilet. 

After a night of pouring through his AP US History notes, Xander was ready to melt into his bed for the few precious hours of sleep he had coming. He recognized that he did this to himself, with minimal input from any of his four parents. That didn't make 3AM sting any less, nor did it make 5AM come a little slower for him to get up to go to weight training for soccer. 

When his phone started to vibrate, playing the Rocky theme song, on his nightstand, Xander had half a mind to ignore it. Chances were that it wasn't that important, or that someone at the hospital was calling the wrong Robbins, anyways. Nine times out of ten, a call in the middle of the night to a Robbins was meant for his Momma - and then his sister joined the intern program at the hospital, and the calls more frequently became for her. Too many Robbins, too many people looking for them. But against his better judgement, he lifted the offending device from his nightstand and looked at the caller ID; it was from a Seattle phone number, but it definitely was not from the hospital. With all of the hellish shit his family had been through before his birth, he didn't like to take chances not answering the phone. 

"Mmmm'lo?" Xander asked as he sat up in his bed, rubbing his eyes. When Cade's phone came through the other line, he could've decked her. His godsister had a knack for scaring the shit out of him, but this was a new one. "Cadence Taylor Karev, I swear to god, I'm going to beat the shit out of you. What the hell are you calling me at three in the mo-" And then he heard it. She was in jail and needed his Momma to come and bail her out. He didn't know if he wanted to laugh and let her sit there for a little while, or get his ass out of bed and go get his godsister. 

"Momma Blondie is gonna freak when she hears about this one. She's not going to give a damn that you're 23, Cadey." Xan chuckled as he hung up and pulled a shirt on. That two hours of sleep he thought he was going to get? Gone. But so worth it.

[skylarpedia-blog]

Happy birthday to the grumpiest birthday bitch I’ve ever met! Nobody likes you when you’re 23, Cadey-wadey-pie, Tom DeLonge even said so!

[evilspawnjr]

I bought myself a small planted cactus today for my birthday because Xander told me I couldn’t keep animals alive… anyway, the point is I named it after you because you’re a prick. xoxox Thanks, bitch. 

[xander-robbinst0rres]

Wait, it took 23 years for someone to figure out that no one likes Cade? That can't be right....

[xander-robbinst0rres]

the Stupid Grin || Self-Para

With his tank top hanging around his neck, soccer bag on one shoulder and his backpack on the other, the youngest of the Robbins-Torres clan made his way to his god-sister’s car. Sure, he had his permit, but none of his parents were quite confident enough to let him drive alone, and someone had to make sure that Skylarpedia made it to school. That left Cadence, in her first year of college, still making time to pick up her god-brother and his sister. Despite the endless mockery he knew that he would be up against once he got into the front passenger seat, the kid couldn’t shake the smile that’d been on his face since the practice session with Cruz ended. 

———

“Wanna go out with me?” Cruz asked, grinding his cleat into the turf. “I mean, I don’t know if you’re involved with anyone but I thought… I thought maybe I could take you out for dinner and a movie or something. I don’t know if you think that’s lame but-“ the senior stopped short when he made eye contact with Xander and waited. 

“If you would’ve stopped rambling, I would’ve told you that: first off - no, I’m not seeing anyone, second of all - yes, I would like to go out with you.” The shaggy-haired sophomore replied before cracking a smile. “And no, I don’t think that dinner and a movie is lame, but I guess it depends on what movie you pick, doesn’t it?” 

“Well, what movie do you want to see? I really don’t care, I just…” 

Xander gave a small nod before taking a second to think. “Well, you’ll see my true colors a lot more quickly than you ever thought possible if you take me to a movie that I can make fun of. If it’s an action movie, I’ll pay far more attention to it than to you. And if it’s a comedy, you’ll hear me laugh like a dying sea otter, according to my god-sister.” With a small shrug, Xander continued, “So, really, it’s up to you. I’m the one that loses in any scenario.” 

Cruz took a moment to digest the information he’d just been given. “Just so you know, I think your god-sister is full of shit. You don’t sound like a dying sea otter when you laugh. You actually sound pretty cute.” 

As much as he hated it - and if any of his family was present, he’d be made fun of for it - Xander blushed. Just as he was about to respond, Cruz’s cell phone rang, the caller ID telling Xander that it was his mom. After a couple of seconds went by, all Cruz responded with was “Ya se, voy a estar en casa pronto.” [I know, I’ll be home as soon as I can.] 

“Supongo que eso significa la practica ha terminado?” [I guess that means practice is over?] Xander asked with his head slightly tilted. If he would’ve pegged anyone on the team as someone who spoke Spanish, it wouldn’t have been Cruz. The kid was as white as they came. But, then again, who was Xan to talk? 

“Ha… Yeah, I guess so. I have to get home to help my Mom with dinner,” Cruz sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I have your number so… Can I text you?” 

“You have my number, Cruz,” Xander repeated and smirked. “It’s up to you.” Seemingly satisfied with the answer, Cruz ran backward to the opposite side of the field, grabbed his bags, and took off.

———

“Baby Sloan, I can’t tell what kind of a face that is, help me out?” Cade whispered to her cohort in the backseat. “I can’t tell if that’s just the face after a really good workout, or if that’s an ‘I just got laid’ face.” 

Shaking her head, Skylar patted Cade’s shoulder. “Oh no, that is definitely not an ‘I just got laid’ face. I would know it anywhere. I’ve spent the last year seeing it just about every weekend.” Straining to see, Sky evaluated her almost-twin-brother’s expression. “It’s not a 'good workout’ face either…. I have no idea what it is.” 

Shaking her head, Cade sighed. “So you mean I have to wait and find out from him? What kind of almost-twin are you?” Sky only shrugged as her brother got in the car and threw his stuff in the general direction of the backseat. 

“Hey! Watch it with the luggage!” Sky cried out as she dodged his soccer bag. “There’s someone back here, you know.” the girl grumbled, pulling her long, black ponytail over her left shoulder. “Why can’t you just walk home, again?” she muttered under her breath. Xander reached back and hit her upside the head with a flat palm before Cade could catch him.

“Knock it off, Dumb and Dumber,” Cade warned, pulling out of the parking lot. As soon as she was doing a calm 40 mph on the main street, she turned to her god-brother with a wicked grin. “Spill it, Baby Robbins.” 

“Spill what?” Xander replied, voice going up a couple of octaves. 

“What’s behind that stupid grin, idiot!” Sky chimed in from the back seat. 

“There’s no stupid grin!” Xander sat, a deer-in-the-headlights look consuming his features. Cade was an expert on her baby god-brother, and studied him for a few moments at a red light. 

“I’m getting a vision,” Cade whispered, two fingers on each temple. “I’m getting… I’m getting…. I’m getting that there is totally a guy.” 

“There is not!” 

Pointing her index finger at the boy, she laughed and shook her head. “You’re still blushing! That is totally close to an ‘I just got laid’ face. It’s not quite, but it’s definitely on its way.”

Shaking his head, Xander looked out the window, a knee curled up to his chest in the front seat. “There is no guy,”

“Xan, c’mon,” Sky coaxed, a hand on his shoulder. “If there are two people in the world that you can’t lie to, they’re sitting in this car. Your moms, you can try and lie to them all you want. Addison? Go for it. Dad? Well…. Anyone could lie to Dad. But the two of us, not a snowball’s chance in hell, my friend.” 

With both girls staring expectantly at him, Xander sighed and threw his hands up. “I really really fucking hate you two,” he huffed, pulling his knee tighter to his chest. “There…. There might be a guy. Might,” While his sister and god-sister shared a high five and knowing smirks, Xan could only look between the two of them. “I hate you both. A man can’t get any peace around here.” 

“A man probably could,” Sky piped up, smiling from ear to ear. “But you? Oh, hell no.” 

[xander-robbinst0rres]

Midfield Shot || Self-Para

Xander was the only one surprised when the varsity soccer coached asked him to leave the junior varsity team to come and play starting forward for the varsity team. Humbled - not a trait he got from his Momma, as his Dad would later point out - he accepted the offer. The only real concern was if he was ready to play against guys who had been playing longer and harder than he ever had. 

Enter Cruz, a senior and the starting keeper on the varsity team, who offered to help the youngest of the Robbins-Torres clan to get himself ready to move up to the next division. It was weeks of grueling drills, extra hours spent in the weight room and eating everything he could get his hands on. Xander wasn’t a particularly tall kid, but he made up for it in speed and agility - something that Cruz was entirely proud of. 

Joining Xander on the field, Cruz’s face had definitely fallen from his normally cheerful disposition. “You okay, man?” Xander asked from the turf of the pitch, bowing his head down as he completed the last of his stretches. 

“Uh… Yeah, I guess. Not having the best week, and it’s only Tuesday.” the older boy mumbled as he got down to start stretching as Xander finished. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Oh, nothing. Just relationship stuff, no big deal.” Cruz finished stretching in silence, while Xander fidgeted awkwardly. How does one deal with the relationship problems of someone he was just barely getting to know? Sure, Cruz was nice enough between classes and, obviously, he was going out of his way to make sure that Xander was ready to come up to varsity and yet… Xander didn’t really know him. He didn’t know anything about the older boy’s situation. The only thing he could think to do was to stand there. Awkwardly. 

“You ready to go, little man?” Cruz asked as he finished taping his shins up, praying that the adhesive would save him from any kind of a slip while they ran drills. 

“Okay, you really have to stop calling me that. I’m not that little.” Xander replied, sticking his tongue out, as they started their warm up laps. And just like when Cruz was stretching, they fell into silence as they ran - this silence was a little more comfortable, but not much. 

“So… I happen to be pretty good at listening to relationship problems, if you need someone to talk to,” Xander started, keeping pace with Cruz. “I’ve had tons of practice. I’m the only brother to five sisters…. And three moms.” 

Shooting Xander a look, Cruz slowed just slightly. “Okay, I’ve heard of two moms… But how the hell do you have three? Did your moms get divorced and one of them got remarried or…?” 

“Well, my two moms are married, and then there’s my dad’s wife. My third mom.” Xander explained with a shrug of his shoulders. “I mean, she yelled at me just as much as my other parents, so I look at her like another mom.” 

“Your dad?” 

“Yeah. My Mamí’s best friend. He got my Mamí pregnant with my older sister Sofia, and then donated sperm when my moms wanted to have my sister, Liv, and then me.” 

“Your family’s weird,” Cruz commented with a huff as they stopped to take a breath. 

“Maybe,” Xander shrugged, yet again. “But it’s my family, so it works.” Once again, the boys fell into a somewhat-comfortable silence. Completing two more laps around the track, they slowed to a halt and put their arms over their heads. 

“My boyfriend and I broke up recently,” Cruz blurted as he caught his breath. “I try to keep that kind of thing separate from the team but… I figure with two moms, you’re okay with the whole gay thing.” 

“Just a little bit,” Xander chuckled and bent down to touch his toes, coming back up with hands on his head. “Was he your first boyfriend?” 

“We dated on and off since my sophomore year, his junior year. He goes to UW and plays soccer, but there’s a guy on his team that he’d been sleeping with for a while. And I put up with it because I thought that it could just be something that lasted a little while. But they moved in together about a week ago and, when I went over to surprise him and take him out to dinner, his new boyfriend answered the door. Caleb hadn’t been talking to me as much, but I figured that was just because he was busy with school. Turns out his boyfriend didn’t know about me…. And clearly I didn’t know about him.” Cruz started to stretch out his quads while recanting the story, and Xander had to try his hardest to not look horrified. When Cruz returned to a normal stance, he glanced at Xander and gasped. “I’m sorry…. That was way personal, and I didn’t need to lay that on you.” 

“No, no, it’s fine,” Xan replied with a hand up. “Believe it or not, that’s a relatively tame story to the kinds of stories I got from my sisters.” Crossing his arms over his chest, Xander heaved a sigh and looked the older boy straight in the eye. “I can only imagine that that must have been really rough. And I’m sorry he put you through that.” 

Cruz only looked at the ground, nodding slightly. Seemingly desperate to change the topic, he sized Xan up. “What about you, though? Three moms, five sisters? The girls must eat that shit up.” 

“Never dated a girl.” 

“Really?” 

“Nope,” Xander replied with a shake of his head. “But I’ve dated a couple of guys from my club soccer team. None of them really… knew they were gay, but gave it a try. In the end, only one of them really liked guys… And was way too clingy. So that didn’t last long.” 

“You… you like guys?”

“I’m about as gay as my Momma.” 

“Oh,” Cruz replied with a nod and a small smile. “Why don’t we run some drills, huh?” With a nod, Xander agreed and the two spent the next hour running drills. Dribbling the ball up and down the field for speed, running through cones for agility and sit ups between each drill for core strength. At the end of the hour, Xander was in his favorite state. Dripping with sweat and panting for breath. 

“Go get some water, Torres, and I’ll have you doing goal drills.” Cruz offered as he motioned over his shoulder to the water cooler that one of the coaches had brought out mid-workout. Xander nodded appreciatively and watched as the older boy peeled off his tank top and cast it aside, making his way to the goal. 

Cruz was in the goal, making quick work of stopping every one of Xander’s shots. This wasn’t something Baby Robbins was used to, and it was starting to really piss him off. “It’s okay to not make every shot, Xan, I’m good at what I do. Not as good as the people we’ll play, but I’m good.” Cruz chuckled as he rolled the ball back to the forward. “Go to midfield, and give me your best long shot. If you make it past me, I’ll give you a nice little reward.” 

Xander dribbled the ball back to the midfield line and used the tank top he’d been wearing - Columbia, a gift from his Dad and Addision - to wipe the sweat from his face, the same sweat that was threatening to get in his eyes. “If it’s not candy, I’m not sure I’m interested.” the shaggy-haired blonde called from midfield with a smirk. And he’d be damned if he didn’t put those Robbins dimples to work. 

“Just shoot the ball, would you, hotshot?” Cruz called back and got into the stance he took in the  goal. Xander positioned himself about fifteen feet behind the ball and sprinted to it. Planting his left and swinging the right with his body’s whole weight behind it, Xander watched the ball soar above Cruz’s head, into the net.

Shooting both hands above his head, Xander jumped up. “That’s fucking right!” He yelled out, congratulatory party of one. 

“You’re really humble, you know that?” Cruz called as he left the goal, tucking the size 9 soccer ball under his arm. “I think you’re ready for varsity though, little one.” 

“I’m not that little, dammit!” Xander called out as Cruz came closer to him. When Cruz was no more than a foot from Xander, the younger boy had no idea what to expect. Putting just one finger under Xander’s chin, the older boy leaned in and kissed him softly, throwing him off. 

“I know it isn’t candy, but…” he trailed just after releasing the boy’s chin. “Now, that was your reward for this goal. Try it again, and make sure it wasn’t just luck,” Cruz almost whispered as he backed up. “And if I stop it, then I get a reward. Deal?” All Xander could do was nod and stop the ball that had been rolled toward him with his foot. Cruz took off to get back into the goal, still shirtless. 

Goddamn, Xander whispered and prepared himself to make another goal against the boy who’d, seemingly randomly, kissed him. 

Once Cruz was back in the goal and into position, Xander followed the same pattern he had just moments ago. From fifteen feet away, sprinted to the ball, planted his left foot and swung with his right. Just like before, the ball soared through the air. 

The only difference this time was that Cruz caught the ball just before it hit the net. Xander was too preoccupied with celebrating scoring another goal against the keeper that he didn’t realize that there wasn’t anything to celebrate. The older boy made his way to the midfield line with a smirk on his face. 

“A little too cocky, huh, Torres?” Cruz laughed as he passed the ball between his two hands. “Well, you did agree. If I stopped your goal, I got a reward.” A small nod came from Xander, who had no idea what to expect. Up until today, he had barely spoken to Cruz. And now the guy had kissed him? “Wanna go out with me?” 

[xander-robbinst0rres]

Anything before this post is from another RP and should be ignored.

Please and thank you :)

[xander-robbinst0rres]

Let's get a morning started right, eh?

[xander-robbinst0rres]

Sometimes you can find peace in Seattle. Weird. 

[xander-robbinst0rres]

Punching in a Dream || Self Para

Xander was ecstatic that his siblings were finally coming home; Liv had been traveling the world for god-only-remembered-long, Hadley had been in Mexico, Sofia had been working and no one had really heard from Ella for a while. But regardless of how fun it was having his siblings home, soccer was still stressful and it was getting more and more stressful everyday. Claiming that he needed to go for a solo run, Xander disappeared into his room to get his shoes on and grab his iPhone and headphones to be able to disappear through eight miles of urban jungle. As he left, the blonde realized he almost forgot the entire reason he was taking this walk, and backtracked into his room. Digging through his sock drawer, he found the old iPod box he'd kept just for shits and giggles, and pulled out what was inside it. A pack of Camel Wides and his orange lighter. He didn't smoke much, but with the pressure that was on him in the weight room? He felt like he needed it. His Mami would kill him. His dad would be disappointed. Addie would wonder just where the hell he was able to get his hands on cigarettes. But his Momma? She'd understand. She did the same thing. She smoked when she was stressed. 

Neon green laces tied so tight they almost cut off circulation, iPhone strapped to his arm, headphones worked up through his shirt - he was ready to take off. He stomped his left foot on the ground a couple of times until he heard his RunWithNike App initiate, and then he was off. While at first, he took off in a sprint, it didn't take long for his footsteps to fall into a pattern against the pavement. The sounds of Florence + the Machine, Young the Giant and the Naked & Famous were just a couple of the voices that Pandora sent through his headphones to keep him company; each time the song changed, Xander felt a little more motivation to move forward. When he got about halfway through his course, he spotted the alley that he typically hid down. From there, he sprinted, veered left and almost screeched to a halt. 

After taking a few minutes with his hands above his head to catch his breath, Xander pulled the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and put one to his lips; two flicks of the orange Bic lighter, and excess smoke flowed freely from the opposite end of the cigarette. After a couple of drags, he started to feel the nicotine rushing through his system, and he took a deep breath - that feeling calmed all of the stress he'd been feeling. The stress of weight training. The stress of learning a new position. The stress of his senior year of high school. The stress of finding a college to go to - a decision where every one of his four parents had a strong opinion. Even if it was only July, and the storm that was the next year of his life wasn't set to make landfall until September, Xander was starting to feel the shifts in weather patterns. And taking a drag from a cigarette, watching excess smoke float into the humid Seattle air calmed his nerves ever so slightly. 

When the cigarette had been reduced to nothing more than the filter, Xander dropped the butt into a puddle and stomped it out with his heel, making sure that it was out completely. The pack and the lighter went back in his pocket, only to be resurfaced when he was leaving the house. In a house full of doctors and doctors-to-be, there was no way that Xander was going to take the risk of someone finding out that he, just like his Momma, had picked up the habit. Nope, not a snowball's chance in hell. 

On the uphill course home, Xander pushed himself to move faster to make up for the 15-or-so-minutes he lost to the Camel in his mouth and the thoughts of soccer, training and college. They were all things that consumed him just about all of the time, as they should. And they were all things that he tried to get his best friend, Noah, to think more about... But that was something else entirely. He could only work so many miracles. As Xander pushed himself harder and harder, running in the bike lane to be able to run faster, anything that was worrying him finally just left him. He was able to run in peace. Just him, the pavement and Pandora. 

Coming up to his moms' house, he took one more lap around the block, to cool down; taking a look at his phone, he discovered that he'd hit a new high. He'd run 8.3 miles in a little over 45 minutes. As much as his Mami had warned him in the past about working out stressed, it was a good motivator. It was almost as good as working out when he was angry. Nothing felt better than a run when he was pissed off at everyone. 

As he stepped in through the front door, as quietly as he could, Xander could only hope that no one would bombard him with questions as to where he had been before he could get into a shower, change clothes, or put his cigarettes away. Because, as close as they were, there were just some things Xander needed to keep to himself. How he coped with stress outside of soccer was definitely one of them.