remember me
Author: thexanwillshine (twitter, ao3) Pairings: Levi x Hange Cross-Postings: AO3 Chapter: 2/3 of synchronicity Notes: part of the remember me when the stars align trilogy
Hange’s first interaction with Moblit was weird, to say the least.
He was introduced to her along with a woman named Nifa, and they had both looked incredibly thrilled to see her. Hange understood the enthusiasm, because for a reason she could not place, seeing both their faces—happy, healthy, and very much alive— made her really happy too.
“My name is Moblit Berner, at your service!” The man said, his face contorted into what looked like a nervous smile.
Hange responded with just as much enthusiasm, taking two of Moblit’s hands between her own and saying, “I’m grateful for your service!” in delight.
Nifa, on the other hand, had stared at her with wide eyes, excitedly giggling as she took Hange’s hand in between her own and shook it with vigor. She said that she was a student taking her master’s degree in Criminology. Moblit, on the other hand, smiled at her gently, eyes softening as he shook Hange’s hand in a manner that was both gentle and firm. Armed with a bachelor’s degree in forensic science, Moblit was incredibly interested in Hange's new research.
Two weeks later found Moblit at her aid while she was hard at work. Hange couldn’t help but feel as if everything was as it should be.
“Hey Hange,” Moblit greeted as he entered her office, a pack of sandwiches in one hand and paperwork in the other. “I bet you haven’t eaten,” he added, laying the food in front of her in an attempt to tempt the professor from her work.
Hange looked up at him from her thick-rimmed glasses, blinking twice as she scrutinized the sandwiches. “You thought right,” she said, chuckling. “I must have forgotten.”
Moblit sighed, exasperated—as if she had caused him the same frustration ten times over at that point in time. “You need to eat, Hange,” he told her, shaking his head. “I know how important your research is, but don’t you think your health is pretty important too?”
Hange laughed then, the sense of motherly worry emanating from Moblit too familiar to brush off.
“I guess so,” Hange replied, shrugging as she leaned back on her swivel chair, closing her eyes. “Can’t go to a Christmas party if I’m sick, right?”
“Definitely,” Moblit replied, nodding. The man was happy that he was able to get through to her, even just a little bit. “I have to ask though, what makes this party so special to you? I took you as a partying type, but . . .”
Hange hummed, tapping her finger on her chin in thought. The glow from her laptop screen bounced off the lenses of her glasses, effectively hiding her eyes from Moblit. She settled for an answer soon enough, “I don’t know. But a good friend of mine is hosting it and I want to be there.”
“I see,” Moblit said, nodding. He noticed the way Hange’s eyes drifted from the computer to a random spot on the wall, a clear sign that she was already lost in thought. Normally, Moblit didn’t have a clue as to what went on inside his superior’s head, but he had a slight inkling for now.
He pretended not to notice, at first, but it’s not easy to ignore the way Hange’s face lights up whenever she would talk about a certain coffee shop owner from down the street.
A snide grin grew on Moblit’s face when he asked, “Is he more than a friend?”
Hange, as per usual, was oblivious to his teasing. She nodded her head in response enthusiastically, beaming. “Yeah! He’s a really good friend!”
Moblit chuckled then, not really expecting a serious reply from the professor. “That’s great,” he encouraged. “You should eat and get back to work then, so that you can go to his party.”
“You’re right, Moblit!” Hange said loudly, grabbing a sandwich and shoving it in her mouth. “Aamf GonFfa Gfof to da Pawfty!”
Moblit’s attempts to tell her “Okay, Hange, take it easy,” as well as “Hange, don’t overdo it” were immediately lost as Hange shoved her face in front of the computer eagerly while absently chewing on her sandwich. Moblit sighed before grabbing a seat next to the professor.
Might as well help her finish so that she could go to that Christmas party with her really good friend.
“I fail to understand how Eren could make such a deadly mistake twice,” Mikasa said deadpandly, her right eye twitching. “In two of his lives. I just don’t get it.”
Levi, who had been wiping the counter, raised an eyebrow at his younger cousin before following her line of vision to see an elated Hange explaining the workings of her new research proposal to an extremely flabbergasted Eren.
“Didn’t you warn him?” he asked Mikasa as he put the dirty cloth away.
“I thought I didn’t need to,” Mikasa replied in light amusement. “This is like a personal brand of torture. Here you go, Armin.”
The blonde chuckled, taking his frappuccino from Mikasa’s outstretched hand. “He was having fun at first though. Professor Hange still radiates the same excitement and energy, so Eren got really hyped.”
As he positioned himself in front of the cash register, pretending to be indifferent, Levi stole a glance at the gleeful scientist. Hange is beaming, her eyes practically sparkling as she waved her hands around animatedly. Her voice came in varying octaves, the occasional “It’s so interesting!” floating into his ears. As clouds began to shift, and the light of the sun hit the rims of her glasses and shined against her hair, Levi forced his gaze down at the cash register, tapping in his code before listening to its familiar ding .
Mikasa smirked knowingly. “This fuckin’ simp.”
“So, you’re not coming here for Christmas?” Isabel said, annoyance laced in her tone.
Farlan shoved his elbow against the younger girl’s ribs none too gently; a silent warning to be nice. Isabel frowned in response, shoving him back.
“Sorry,” Hange told the two siblings honestly. She leaned back against her headboard as she removed her glasses from her face, opening and closing her eyes in a sorry attempt to hide her tiredness.
Sleep was already beckoning Hange to its sweet embrace. Her lids were already starting to droop, but the idea that Isabel and Farlan missed her warmed her heart by a lot. “But it’s okay! I can celebrate with some of my friends here. You guys don’t have to worry about me.”
“That’s good,” Farlan said, taking the phone from Isabel who looked like she would have started whining in protest. “Maybe next time you can come visit us again.”
Strings tugged in Hange’s heart as she looked at the two fondly. Isabel was pouting visibly, eyes averted from the camera as she sulked. Farlan, on the other hand, was holding the camera with a small smile on his face,
“She would’ve been able to visit us this year if she just allowed us to treat her!” Isabel shouted from the other side of the camera.
Farlan laughed awkwardly, running a hand through his auburn hair. “Honestly, Hange, I’m just glad you’re having fun. Isabel’s just feeling a little jealous that you have friends there.”
“I miss you guys so much,” she told Farlan honestly, blinking back the sleep that threatened to take her to her own dreamland. “We’ll see each other soon, I know it!”
Farlan smiled, finally allowing a pouting Isabel the chance to see Hange on camera. “Yeah, we will. Right, Isabel?”
Isabel gave a brief ‘hmph’ before nodding. “You’re lucky we love you,” she told Hange, rolling her eyes. “This is a betrayal, I tell you!”
Hange laughed heartily, knowing full well that Isabel was merely joking. “I’ll look forward to earning your trust back.”
Isabel replied smoothly, her usual wit flowing, “I bet that whoever your new friends are, they won’t be half as cool as us.”
“Mother,” Levi whispered, his breath almost taken away at the sight of Kuchel Ackerman. “Welcome home.”
Kuchel put down her bags and the hat that nestled on the top of her dark hair as she glanced at the sight of her son. “Hello dear,” she greeted casually, shrugging off the coat on her shoulders. “How have you been?”
Levi buried her nails deep into his fingers, trying to act normal to the best of his abilities. “Great,” he said, voice controlled. “How have you been?”
Kuchel could already sense that there was something Levi was not telling her, despite the fact that he kept his silence. “The trip was fine, dear,” she told him softly, before walking over to the young man. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing,” he muttered under his breath, eyes staring at the floor as he willed himself not to cry at the sight of his own mother. The knowledge of his past life and the pain he felt at the death of his own mother—the weight that heaved into his heart and plagued his mind—dissipated at the sight of her smiling at him, eyes gentle and features as soft as he remembered it. “It was just different without you around. Mikasa’s become more rebellious.”
Kuchel raised an eyebrow. “Really now?” the woman said playfully, her eyes glinting in mischief. “You old man, just because you weren’t the same way when you were younger doesn’t mean Mikasa’s rebellious.”
Levi scoffed, and Kuchel laughed heartily. “On a more serious note; my son, I know when something is bothering you. Now, do tell what’s wrong.”
How is one supposed to explain to their mother that the memory of a past life wherein she wasn’t alive resided in his mind?
“Levi,” Kuchel said, gently placing her palm on Levi’s cheek. “What’s wrong?”
Levi closed his eyes and sighed, resting his cheek against his mother’s loving touch. “Nothing. I guess I’ve just been really stressed lately,” he responded, lying between his teeth. “With the holidays coming and everything.”
“Oh darling,” Kuchel whispered, bringing him into a hug. Normally, Levi would’ve reluctantly entered the warmth of his mother’s arms, or gently patted her back in return. This time though, he held her close to him as she muttered, “You’re lying, Levi. But no matter, I’ll be here for you whenever you’re ready.”
Of course, he thought, a small smile making its way to his lips. His mother is carved from patience and built by grace, her kindness permeating the air like the sweet breeze of summer.
“Thank you,” he told her in return, and she tightened her hug.
Mikasa glared at Levi as he shoved the cookie dough in her direction.
“Fix your face,” he told her nonchalantly without even a glance at her direction. Mikasa scoffed as her cousin effortlessly cracked a pair of eggs into a bowl. “You’re ruining the Christmas spirit.”
“Like you care about the Christmas spirit,” she responded snarkily, dipping her fingers into the dough and rolling it into tiny balls.
“It was your idea to invite people over.”
“And it was your idea to cook. Why couldn’t we just order food?”
“Are you paying?”
“. . . No.”
“Exactly.”
Silence filled the kitchen as Mikasa succumbed to
The day had been relatively uneventful. They had opened the cafe for Christmas day, but only for about four hours. It was a way for them to give their customers the bulk orders they had ordered the days before Christmas itself. For Levi, it was also a day to distribute Christmas bonuses for his dedicated team.
With the cafe closed by noon, the Ackermans found themselves waving goodbye to their co-employees and heading home to get ready for the night’s celebration.
Mikasa broke the silence with a question. “What cookies are these again?”
“Chocolate chip,” Levi answered shortly.
He fired up the stove before placing the chopped garlic and onions into a large pot, drizzling the entire thing with olive oil. With a spatula, he moved the chunks of food around, and the smell of garlic and onion filled the kitchen. Mikasa took a satisfied whiff before turning on the hood. The light smoke that filled the air was immediately absorbed by the machine, so Mikasa went back to working on the dough.
She broke the silence a second time. “Is it because Hange’s always loved chocolate?”
“You’re being awfully talkative today,” Levi commented, tossing a bit of salt on the sizzling aromatics.
“And you’re being awfully avoidant,” Mikasa countered, shaking her head. “Just answer the question, captain.”
He poured the pasta sauce into the pot before responding. “You can’t go wrong with chocolate chip, brat, ” Levi said. “As far as I know, everyone loves chocolate.”
“Especially Hange.”
“Shut up.”
While placing the balls of dough on the pan, Mikasa smirked, the familiar feeling of victory boosting her ego by a tiny bit.
Unfortunately, her win is short-lived as Levi spoke. “Aren’t you gonna prepare something special for your boyfriend?”
“Oh, shut up.”
“Someone’s a sore loser.”
Mikasa immediately shot Levi a glare as the man raised an eyebrow at her in triumph, challenging the young girl to even dare contradict his statement. As Mikasa narrowed her eyes at Levi, ready to grab a chunk of cookie dough to throw—
“Well, this is a fun show!” a bright voice interrupted. Hange leaned over the counter, placing her chin on the palms of her hand. Immediately, the cousins break out of their silent battle to stare at her in surprise. She beamed at the two of them, unfazed. “Well, don’t let me distract you both from this lovely argument.”
“Hange,” Levi said in what seemed to be a greeting. Mikasa rolled her eyes at him, preventing the urge to stick her tongue out immaturely. “You’re early.”
Hange bounced giddily on her seat as if she were a child before giving Levi a thumbs up. The sleeves of her (hideous) red sweater nearly covered the ends of her fingertips. “Yeah! I was so excited that I couldn’t wait. Hope you don’t mind me dropping by this early!” She told them both loudly, waving frantically at the two of them. “I met Aunt Kuchel by the way, she’s lovely.”
The moment his mother’s name is mentioned, Levi caught a glimpse of Kuchel peeking at them from behind the wall, a smirk on her face. She was looking in their direction, a teasing glint in her eye as she snickered at him . Levi narrowed his eyes at his mother’s antics before focusing on Hange once more.
Her gaze met his own the moment he yielded from his mother’s teasing. Hange had a wistful look in her eyes, a small, longing smile on her face as she stared at him. He blinked back at her in confusion, raising a thin eyebrow in inquiry, but she immediately shrugged off the melancholy etched on her face with ease.
“Googly eyes, can we continue baking the cookies now? Eren and the others are going to come by soon,” said Mikasa as she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, the flour from her hands lightly dusting the front of her apron. Levi glared at her in response, and she narrowed her eyes at him, as if daring her older cousin to fight her.
Reluctantly, Levi relented, but he kept his icy gaze on Mikasa as he grabbed the bag of flour. Hange chuckled.
“Maybe I can help?” she asked loudly. “I haven’t really tried cooking the way you guys do, but I’m pretty good at chemistry! I’m sure that counts for something.”
A small smirk slowly made its way to Mikasa’s lips as an idea popped into her head. “Yes, professor,” the young girl replied, without even attempting to hide her malintent from her older cousin. “But would it be alright for you to take my place for now? I also need to get ready for the party, I haven’t really taken a shower yet.”
Hange nodded enthusiastically before reaching out and patting Mikasa’s shoulder. “Of course! I’d be happy to help.” The professor then grinned as she held out her hand. “Give me your apron.”
Levi watched the entire exchange, his left eye slightly twitching at the antics of his own younger cousin. Of course he knew what she was up to. He had kicked her shin lightly the moment she started talking; he was perfectly aware that Mikasa wanted to weasel her way out of cooking.
(on a separate, completely unrelated note—that Levi would never admit—he was also, ever-so-slightly, kind of, maybe, a bit, sort of, a little? grateful—yes, that’s the word—because mikasa was trying to give him time with Hange, which, you know, he missed. because Hange was busy the entire week prior finishing up her research proposal, and he barely got to see her.)
As Levi contemplated whether or not the gift he chose for Mikasa for Christmas was worth it, Hange slipped behind the kitchen counter to stand beside him.
“I don’t know how to cook,” she whispered as she tied Mikasa’s apron around her waist.
Almost absent-mindedly, Levi brushed off the flour that had settled on Hange’s shoulder. “You didn’t even tie it properly, four-eyes,” he told her, shaking his head. “Turn around properly, I’ll do it for you.”
Hange laughed before turning around. “Thanks, Levi.”
He hummed in response as he took the clumsily-knotted strands between his fingertips, lacing them in a manner that came with years of practice. His fingers brushed against the cloth of Hange’s sweater, and he grimaced.
“Aren’t you worried that your outfit’s gonna get soiled?”
“Oh, this?” Hange asked, pulling on her sweater. “This is just something I made recently, because I wanted to get into the Christmas spirit. Do you like it?”
“It’s ugly,” Levi answered honestly.
“Then it’s perfect,” Hange said in response, nodding her head in approval. “Ugly Christmas sweater is now officially checked off my bucket list! Now, how do you bake cookies?”
Forty minutes later, Levi came to the conclusion that Hange is somewhat decent at baking cookies, and that they have made significant cooking progress in the time that they had spent together. Their dynamic was the same— familiar, even—which was something that Levi found nice. The rhythm that they formed from all those years of training seemed to translate well even in the kitchen, as he handed her dough to roll into balls before placing in the oven.
Granted, it was a relatively easy task that was very hard to fuck up, but Levi liked the idea of having their dynamic maintained even in the new world.
He liked this, Levi thought. He hung onto every word she said, no matter how needless it seemed. She talked about Moblit and Nifa, her occasional run-ins with Nanaba and her husband (who Levi assumed, and hoped, was Miche), and her distant friends who became sad because she didn’t fly back to them that Christmas.
“They’re probably mad because I flaked on the sleepover we usually have,” Hange told him, chuckling. “Who was I to pass up an opportunity to be with my new friends? Besides, I’ve never been invited to a Christmas party before. What do you usually do at Christmas parties?”
Levi shrugged, removing the plastic gloves from his hands and wiping his fingers on a clean rug. “Eat. Talk. Watch movies, I guess. Most of the time I just clean. Mikasa and her friends always make a mess.”
Mikasa’s ears perked up immediately at the sound of her name, immediately glaring at Levi from the dining table where she was currently setting up the plates. Hange waved in her direction, lightly alleviating the young girl’s annoyance over her cousin.
“You’re such a big brother,” Hange told Levi as she leaned on the kitchen counter. “To Mikasa, I mean. I know the two of you are cousins, but your relationship radiates big sibling energy.”
Levi rolled his eyes at her compliment (was it even one?) as he focused on taking the lasagna out from the oven. The smell wafted through the air immediately, so Hange inhaled in satisfaction before releasing the air in a contented sigh.
“That smells nice,” she told him offhandedly, and Levi nodded. “I’ve always wanted siblings,” Hange continued, watching him. “When I was young, I’ve always had this feeling that there was something missing.”
Levi’s eyes snapped wider then, as he caught a glimpse of the longing expression on her face. “It was as if I was always waiting for something to happen, you know?” she said quietly. Her fingers tightly gripped the table as a light smile grew on her lips. “It’s like there was some kind of hole that I couldn’t quite fill, no matter how hard I tried.”
Yes, he thought, I know, I understand, it’s because— Levi put down the lasagna on the table and looked at her directly, decisively. Unfortunately for him, the words that formed at the edges of his throat died at his lips, and he stood there staring at Hange as she tilted her head at him in curiosity.
“Is something wrong, Levi? Sorry, did I—”
“No,” he interrupted, shaking his head.
He had completely forgotten.
The threads of fate won’t allow him to interfere with its design, no matter how much he wanted to tell Hange about the forgotten past that (he knew) lingered in the back of her mind.
Armin arrived with Eren and his mother in tow an hour later, the lot of them bundled in thick coats and scarves. Kuchel greeted them all with great enthusiasm, fussing over their appearance and urging the new arrivals to approach the fireplace and get warm before dinner.
Eren perked up the moment he saw Hange fiddling with the pipe for the cookies’ cream.
“Professor Hange!” he greeted, waving his hand towards the professor. “You’re here!”
“Yeah, Levi invited me! Right Levi?”
Heat bloomed on Levi’s cheeks as Eren directed his inquisitive glance towards him. In response, he glared at the young adult, who put his hands up automatically in defense.
“Well, I got stuck with your annoying ass because of Erwin,” Levi responded smoothly.
Hange giggled, obviously unfazed. “Awww,” she crooned teasingly. “Are you sure you just didn’t want to spend time with little old me?”
Levi kept his eyes down on the final batch of dough he was kneading, purposely avoiding Hange’s own gaze. “Quite sure.”
“Are you reaaaaaallly sure?”
“Yes.”
“Really really?”
“Damn it, four-eyes, shut up.”
Hange laughed before winking at Eren, who flashed her a worried look in return. He of all people would know not to get in Levi’s bad side (mostly because he was Eren’s boss, but also due to the fact that Levi was just a scary person in general; Eren had, after all, seen the way Levi would glare at the people who made Armin burst into tears when they were still children). However, the way Hange laughed beside him, teasing him without fear in her smile or a quiver in her tone, it almost seemed as if they knew each other all their lives.
“I’ll head on to the dining table, Professor,” Eren told her gently. The two seemed to be enjoying themselves in their small kitchen bubble, he didn’t want to intrude.
Hange nodded at him, waving her hand goodbye. “See you there, Eren!”
As Eren walked away, Hange turned her attention back to Levi, who was shoving the cookies inside the oven before shutting it close. She watched as he sighed in relief before wiping the sweat on his brow. The flour from his gloves dusted his face, falling like snow on the edges of his hair and his forehead.
“Hey,” Hange said, walking towards him. “You got some flour on your face.”
Levi cocked an eyebrow at her and swiped at his forehead, getting most of the white dust off. “Is it gone?”
“Not quite,” Hange replied. Almost mechanically, her hand moved closer to his face. “May I?”
He shrugged as a form of consent, and she gently swiped the dust from his eyebrows off, her thumb gently running over his skin. “There,” she declared. “You’re all clean!”
“Unlike you,” Levi responded, shaking his head. He only had a bit of flour on his forehead, but Hange was caked in the powder. Her grey apron was almost pale from the flour that she had spilled earlier, and strands of her hair were still dusted white.
Levi removed his gloves and washed his hands before gesturing for Hange to approach him. She tilted her head to the side in confusion, but went to him nonetheless.
“What’s up?” she asked, leaning on the sink counter beside him.
“Your hair,” he replied simply, and Hange automatically understood what he meant.
“Oh!” she gasped, taking the strands in between her fingertips. The flour dust had already settled, so Hange smiled sheepishly. “Woops.”
Levi rolled his eyes automatically. “C’mere,” he said, reaching out to her. Automatically, she bowed her head so that the strands of her hair could meet his outstretched hand.
It seemed almost routine. Levi ran dry fingers through her hair, gently removing the powder away from her dark strands. Her locks were soft, surprisingly, and it was easy to swipe away the particles that had gathered from her bangs to the strands that hung just a little above her shoulder.
Hange closed her eyes, allowing him to thread his fingers through her hair. His touch was familiar, almost as if she had felt his skin against hers a hundred times more than she knew.
‘Dedicate your heart.’
Hange’s eyes flashed open, her head jolting upwards just as quickly. Levi retracted his hand quickly as if he had been burned, concern written all over his face. He raised his eyebrow in inquiry as Hange blinked at him in confusion.
“Did you say something?” Hange asked, narrowing her eyes at him.
Levi shook his head.
“Oh,” was all Hange could say as before she sighed. “Sorry, I was probably hearing things. You can continue.”
“Must be from all that sugar you’ve been eating,” Levi told her as he resumed dusting the specks of powder away from her hair.
She laughed at him heartily, trying to ignore the sudden ache that had formed in her chest. “Yeah, I should’ve listened to you when you told me to lay off the cookie dough,” she affirmed, smiling.
Levi could sense that something was off with the professor—after all, he knew her both from his past and current life—and it is this knowledge that stopped him from prying as to what had bothered her. She would tell him when she’s ready, he thinks, as Hange isn’t the type to open up during such an occasion. She would hate to be a burden, even though she wasn’t.
Instead, he continues patting the strands of her hair and threading his fingers through them, satisfied at the serene look on his previous commander’s face.
“Ehem.”
Hange and Levi jumped about a foot apart from each other. Mikasa and Kuchel stood in front of both of them. The former had a knowing smirk playing on her lips while the latter grinned in pride, eyes sparkling in excitement.
“I hate to ruin the moment,” Kuchel told them, trying to hold in her laughter, “but the cookies are already done and dinner is about to begin.”
A red tint was slowly starting to make its way on Levi’s face. He looked away, shoving his hands inside his pockets and trying to appear as nonchalant as possible.
Hange wasn’t as discreet. “Right,” she said sheepishly. “Sorry, auntie.”
“Oh honey, with the way things are going, you might as well be calling me mom.”
The table itself is filled with food. Mashed potatoes, lasagna, fried chicken, and cake were spread out, allowing its partakers to pass around the food when necessary. Armin is talking animatedly with Carla, the sound of his laughter filling his surroundings with warmth. Eren placed a healthy serving of mashed potato on Mikasa’s plate, urging her to eat more because it was her favourite. She stared at him blankly, but flashed him a small smile when he grinned at her.
The redness on Levi’s face is masked by the light of the candle in front of him. Kuchel, who sat at the table’s head, insisted that Hange sit beside her. Levi focused all of his attention on the food laid out in front of him, actively avoiding the suggestive glances his own mother was giving him.
“So Hange, you’re a professor?” asked Kuchel excitedly.
“Yes ma’am,” Hange replied politely, taking a bite out of the (very delicious) lasagna on her plate. “But I’m mostly a scientist.”
“That’s lovely, what do you specialize in?”
“Biology,” she exclaimed, beaming, “I’ve recently submitted a research proposal for an experiment I’ve been wanting to work on for years. It involves the genetic modification of eggplants so that they can withstand harsh conditions.”
To Kuchel’s credit, the woman looked absolutely enthralled at the idea. Levi listened as the two gushed over plants (his mother had recently taken a liking to growing cacti and other forms of succulents), food, and occasionally, him.
“Levi’s such a quiet child,” Kuchel lamented, dramatically placing the back of her hand on her forehead. “He was never really one to talk to a lot of people. Bless his workers for putting up with him.”
Levi’s glare caught the teasing glint in Kuchel’s eyes the very moment he raised his head from his plate.
“Levi’s really funny, though!” Hange said in his defense, grinning. He directed his icy stare at her, but she continued on, unfazed. “He’s one of the sassiest people I know.”
“Oh really now?” Kuchel asked in encouragement. “Please, do tell me more.”
The night continues like that, the gentle hum of conversation and glorious scent from the feast effectively filling the air with Christmas cheer.
Annie arrived at around eleven in the evening. Armin greeted her excitedly, holding her hands between his own while grinning widely. There is snow on her hair, which Armin brushes off with such care. Afterwards, he dragged her towards the table, where the feast was still available for anyone who wished to eat once more.
A full Eren was sprawled on the sofa next to Mikasa. Both of them were watching a random show on Netflix. Mikasa’s eyes were already drooping, her head dangerously close to falling on Eren’s shoulder. Levi almost sneered at the sight as the thought of taking pictures and blackmailing Mikasa crossed his mind.
He, along with Carla, Kuchel, and Hange, share a bottle of wine as Hange updates them about the recent developments in the university. She told them about Eren’s improving grades, Armin’s (naturally) stellar ones, and Mikasa’s deep interest in biology. Levi informed Carla that Eren was doing better at work, infinitely more than his first day, to the point that he could be relied on to close up the shop and take charge of the cash register. Carla smiles softly, the pride on her face evident as she glanced at her son, who was wrapping a scarf around an already asleep Mikasa.
“Aunt Kuchel, we’re still expecting guests. I hope that’s okay,” Armin requested as he passed by. Behind him, Annie stood with a plate of food. She politely nodded at the adults before hiding her eyes behind her bangs once more.
Kuchel waved her hand nonchalantly. “Of course it’s okay! The more, the merrier, right? Besides, we have so much food. I wouldn’t want us to keep eating leftovers for the next few days, so it’s better to just finish them all now.”
Armin smiled immediately in response. “Thank you Auntie Kuchel!”
Hange watched her two students stalk off in a spot relatively far from Eren and Mikasa. She assumed that it was because the blonde couple didn’t want to disturb the pair, both of whom were already being called by the gentle serenade of sleep.
She stole a glance at Levi, who was slowly sipping on his wine. He held the glass by its rims, which would’ve been peculiar for some, but for Hange it seemed almost familiar. Unfortunately for Hange, he looked up from his drink to meet her pressing stare. She gave him a small, assuring smile, but he raised an eyebrow at her in response.
Just as Hange opened her mouth to speak, the sound of a chime filled the lull of silence. From the distance, Armin stood up, gently patting Annie’s shoulder as he got ready to welcome the new guests.
Probably his classmates, Hange thought as she trails the blond, who was now walking towards the door. She observed as he reached out for the knob and opened it.
“Thanks for coming!” she heard him say.
“No, we should be thanking you for allowing us to come here,” responded the voice from outside the window.
Hange froze, the wine glass in her hand suddenly feeling cold to the touch. Had she been looking at Levi, she would’ve seen the confusion on his face, which spoke of the shock that had run through his spine.
No way, Hange thought, her eyes narrowing as she watched Armin move aside to allow the guests inside. She was already standing halfway through her seat, her wine glass placed on the table, forgotten. No freaking way.
“Hange, are you gonna keep gawking at us like that or am I finally gonna receive a hug from you?”
A laugh burst from Hange’s lips as tears began to well in her eyes, and she launched herself towards the two people that had just entered the room.
“Isabel! Farlan!”
Levi feels numb.
For a moment, everything was a blur. He remembered seeing Armin open the door to receive guests. He remembered Hange swiftly standing up in order to hug Isabel and Farlan, both of whom were very much alive.
He remembered seeing a decapitated head and a mangled body.
Suddenly he is standing in the middle of the falling rain, his chest bursting with a pain that ripped through his own body. It was as if a barrage of pins and needles were running through his skin, the sharp tips breaking through his muscles and seeping into the flesh covering his heart. Hot and cold intertwine as the cold raindrops pierce his fingertips and the heat from his veins burn through his skin.
He is pulled from his own memories to Hange’s touch, and he absent-mindedly stares at the hand on his arm before tracing its length to see the gentle look on Hange’s face. “Levi?” she asked softly, as if trying to contain her own excitement. “I want to introduce you to my friends!”
There is warmth spreading out from his back to his shoulders, a gentle weight of a hand placed on the top of his head and fingers caressing his bloodied face. Her glasses are askew, hair drenched with a mixture of sweat and rain. There is concern written all over her face hidden underneath the titan blood evaporating into the air.
“Levi?” Hange whispered hesitantly.
Levi shifts his gaze from Hange to that of Isabel and Farlan. There are exuberant smiles on their faces and ugly Christmas sweaters on their bodies. He caught a glance of his mother’s approving look.
Then, he looks at Hange once more. “Okay.”
She beams at him and tugs on his sleeve, urging him to stand and meet the two people that were standing in the middle of his living room.
“You look familiar,” Isabel told Levi bluntly, tilting her head to the side. “Do I know you from somewhere? Are you famous?”
Levi shook his head and rolled his eyes. Hange nudged his side, and he shot her a look that was almost apologetic.
“I’m Farlan,” the taller boy said, extending his hand in greeting. Levi shook it promptly. The warmth of Farlan’s hand transferred to his own, reminding Levi that Farlan is alive and not mangled by a titan.
The moment Levi detached his hand from Farlan, the young girl piped in. “And I’m Isabel! We’re Hange’s parents and we demand that you ask for our blessing before the marriage.”
“Isabel, it’s not like that,” Hange told her, grabbing the young girl by the arm and giving her a noogie. “We are two mature adults who happen to be friends!”
“Whatever you say, Levi lover!” Isabel teased amidst her attempts to escape from Hange’s hold. “Stop it, Hange, dammit, are you eight years old?”
It was at this moment that Levi realized that he had yet to introduce himself, but it appeared that he didn’t need to because Isabel and Farlan seemed to know his name already.
Nevertheless, he makes an attempt to converse effectively and says, “I’m Levi.”
Farlan laughed and patted him on the back. “We know. Hange would not shut up about you. At some point, we thought you guys were together or something.”
“Hange probably just likes mooching off of your coffee!” Isabel said loudly, but was met with another round of noogies. “Oh, stop it Hange!”
“What brings you here?” Hange asked then, finally letting go of a protesting Isabel. The young girl frowned at Hange, and she apologized by helping Isabel fix her hair.
“It’s ‘cause you wouldn’t fly out to see us!” Isabel replied, crossing her arms over her chest. “And we had the money to bring you on a round trip, but you just wouldn’t let your stupid pride borrow money from us.”
Hange laughed sheepishly, running a hand through her amber locks. “Well, that’s because it’s your money not mine! You should choose well on how you spend it.”
“Doesn’t seem very credible coming from you,” Levi commented, shaking his head.
“Hey!” Hange exclaimed, pouting. “I thought you were on my side!”
“Aha, that means he’s on our side!” Isabel interjected, laughing. “Sorry Hange, you’re outnumbered.”
The pout on Hange’s face shifted into a smile. She, along with Isabel and Farlan, laugh almost simultaneously.
“Thank you for coming here,” Hange told them afterwards. “I really appreciate it. I can’t believe you guys managed to surprise me. How’d you even know to go here?”
“It was easy,” Isabel replied, waving her hand in dismissal. Farlan nodded in agreement. “We just stalked you and found Armin, who was very eager to let us go. So we came.”
“We were supposed to talk to you,” Farlan continued, looking at Levi, “but we wanted to meet you in person and not online because we wanted a genuine first impression of you.”
“We did stalk you though,” Isabel added, and Farlan glared at her. “What?” she said defensively, glaring at the taller boy, “I’m just being honest! Gotta make sure our Hange isn’t fraternizing with some bad guy. Right?”
She turned to Levi then. He nodded, thinking it best not to contradict the two. Even in another life, Farlan and Isabel remained the same.
As they were talking, Hange had already stalked off to Kuchel. She was telling her about her friends and how they flew in just to meet her. Kuchel stood up from her seat elegantly, walking towards them with such poise that Isabel began to change her lazy stance into a more formal one.
“Thank you for having us, ma’am,” Isabel said politely. “We really appreciate it, and we apologize for the trouble.”
“Nonsense,” Kuchel responded warmly. “You are all welcome here. Any friend of Hange is a friend of mine.” She winked at Hange then, and the professor giggled. “And there’s no need to be so formal! You can call me Aunt Kuchel, if you’d like.”
The two newcomers grinned at the lady, a mixture of relief and excitement written all over their face. “Thank you so much,” they said in unison.
“It’s no problem, dears.”
The rest of the night is spent in cheer. Eren and Mikasa eventually woke up from their slumber with the noise that had erupted from the living room. They chose a new movie to watch, and they were soon joined by Armin and Annie, both of whom were wrapped up in a single blanket that Armin probably took the liberty of bringing.
Carla had decided to retire in one of the guest rooms, as she wasn’t used to staying up late at night. Kuchel followed soon after, bidding everyone goodbye and putting Levi in charge of making sure everyone was okay.
Hange, Levi, Isabel, and Farlan maintain light conversation. Levi hangs on to every word, trying to gather many snippets from their current lives as much as possible. He found out that Isabel was working as a veterinarian and that Farlan worked for a non-governmental organization that specializes in helping child delinquents. It was a fitting role for their personalities, and Levi almost felt like a proud big brother at what they have accomplished.
Witnessing them alive was enough for him, but seeing them happy was another level of joy.
He also found out that Hange constantly mentioned him to the two. While he was a consistent presence in Hange’s life, he didn’t know that he held that much relevance to her day-to-day life. Inwardly, he is thankful, because even though he would never admit it, he wants to be part of the stories that she would tell to the world.
When the clock struck four, Hange yawned in the middle of their conversation, and Levi decided it was time for all of them to retire. Normally, Eren would sleep with his mother in the guest room, but since Armin and Annie were staying over, the four of them decided to have a sleepover in Mikasa’s room.
“You should stay the night,” Levi told Hange, Isabel, and Farlan. “You can take my room.”
Isabel shook her head. “Sorry Levi, but we’re kind of looking forward to the breakfast buffet our hotel has to offer.”
“Haven’t you eaten enough?” Farlan asked snarkily, and Isabel glared at him. He continued, “But I do agree that we have to stay at the hotel. We paid for the night, after all.”
“Would you need any help getting there?” Hange asked. “I could drive you.”
“No need,” Isabel said. “We’re going to take a cab. It’s surprisingly easy to request one here, so we’ll just take our chances. You should stay though, Hange. It’s dangerous for you to drive out alone at this time.”
Hange hummed. “I guess so.” She nodded in agreement. “Levi, mind if I borrow the couch for tonight?”
Isabel snickered. “Or you can sleep beside him on his bed.”
The comment earned her a glare from Levi and a nudge from Hange, but the young girl looked unfazed. “It was a legit suggestion!” she said in defense.
“Either way, we should go,” Farlan interrupted, looking at his watch. “The cab I ordered is arriving in two minutes.”
“Told you it was fast,” Isabel told Levi triumphantly, and he nodded his head in acknowledgment.
“Thank you for tonight,” Farlan said, smiling. “Hange, we should hang out tomorrow.”
Hange nodded. “Definitely. I’ll free my schedule so that we can spend the whole day together!”
“You can come too if you’d like,” Farlan added, glancing at Levi. “As Aunt Kuchel said, any friend of Hange’s is a friend of ours.”
“Well damn, I have a lot of friends,” Hange interjected, poking Farlan’s cheek. “That means you have a lot of friends too.”
“Yeah yeah, Hange’s famous or whu-eh-vah.” Isabel made air quotes with her fingertips at the mention of the word famous, mocking the professor right in front of her. Hange laughed nonetheless.
“Aren’t you glad to be friends with a famous person like me?” Hange teased.
“Oh, shut up.”
The silence that followed the Christmas cheer was almost deafening, but Hange was feeling extremely overjoyed even as she began to lie down on the couch. From her position, she heard Levi lock the doors. She sighed in relief, the happiness from the night still very much alive in her sleepy body.
“Oi,” Levi said, nudging her leg from the sofa. “Four-eyes, wake up, you can take my bed.”
“I don’t wannaaaa,” Hange whined, shaking her head and turning to her side. “It’s your bed. I’m fine with the couch.”
Levi rolled his eyes at Hange but tossed a pillow in her direction anyways. She caught it with her face, ungracefully, and pouted at him in annoyance.
“Boo,” she groaned, slumping into the couch.
A small smile made its way to Levi’s face as he turned off the lights, allowing the Commander to drift into a blissful slumber.
There is blood dripping from her fingers and she knows it’s not her own.
She grips the shaking body closer to her, praying that the warmth emanating from his form would not leave him anytime soon.
She pulls him gently to the shore, dragging her own beaten and battered body away from the water. Her lips were quivering as she whispered, “You better not die on me. Please,” she almost begs, “don’t die on me.”
She repeats these words like a mantra, over and over again, until the body’s bleeding stops and the blood dries from her fingers.
The ground underneath her palm feels rough. Occasionally, she checks on him, observing as the covers rise and fall with his breathing.
She sighs. “What if we run away?” she asks, desperation laced in her tone. “What if we stay in the forest and live here forever, Levi?”
She says these words as if there is no war. As if she wasn’t on a one-way trip to her death. She’s desperate, she knows, but there would be no point in living in a world without her friends, no world without Levi . . .
She blinks, and suddenly she is surrounded by a mountain range of rubble. There is a pressure against her chest.
“Dedicate your heart,” she hears, and tears begin to well from the edges of her eyes.
There is silence, and the sound of footsteps lingers in her ears before she decides to turn around to see him one last time.
“This is the first time I’ve ever heard you say that, Levi!” she shouts in an attempt to leave him a memory of her happy moments before her inevitable death.
She is zipping through the air once more, the gear around her waist heavy. There is steam all around her, excreting a heat that seemed to penetrate into her skin like needles.
As she takes one last look at the towering titans below her, she smiles.
“Titans really are . . . beautiful.”
“Hange!”
She awoke with a start, her forehead lined with sweat and tears in her eyes. Suddenly everything is clear; she didn’t rely on one eye to see. Hange could hear her rapid breathing, her loud heartbeat against her ears, and the ache in her chest. She looks around frantically, trying to locate where she was.
“You okay?”
Levi was kneeling beside her in concern, his hand holding one of her own in a tight grip. As if she would disappear from in front of him should he let go.
Her lips were still shaking, the sweat on her skin almost cold to the touch. She shivered briefly, before closing her eyes once more and allowing the tears to flow free.
It had all felt so real. The fire that scorched her clothes, eating her alive. The burns that ran so deep she became numb to the pain. The feeling of life leaving her tortured body.
She’s brought back to reality with Levi’s gentle whisper. “Hange?” he said softly, as he wiped her tears with his thumb gently, his touch soothing against her face.
He knows, she thought, stealing a glance from his face. He is patient, merely waiting for her to speak once she gets over her own grief.
“Levi?” she finally dared to say, reaching out to hold his face in between her palms. “Is it really you?”
“Yes,” he replied, placing his hands over hers and staring straight into her eyes. “It’s me.”
“I thought I was—you were—”
“No,” he interrupted her, shaking his head. “You’re alive,” he told her.
Hange sobbed immediately, her hands shaking as she began to let go of him. The warmth of the room is nowhere near searing, the gentle light that streamed into the sofa was not a blaze of fire, and Levi—
Levi is alive and well, face free from suffering and eyes glistening with hope.
He wrapped his arms around her, bringing her face to the crook of his neck and holding her tight. Hange cried into him, her lips whispering “I’m alive” over and over against his skin. He held her tighter in response, burying his fingers into her hair and running a hand over her back to soothe her tears.
They stayed like that until dawn finally broke, paving the way for the rise of the morning sun, as the stars disappeared from the orange sky and the birds sang their morning hymns.