#Xanga4Lyfe Couples Retreat in Louisville Recap
1. Road trip. Thanks for driving, Mike. Can I connect my bluetooth? Dollar Tree’s finest snacks. Hawk stories. Starbucks is what’s wrong with America. Marco Polos on the way. What is a Dunkin Donuts Express?
2. Welcome to the Lou Roost. Shotgun style. Set up surprises for the Nashvillians. Check your email!!
3. Nick & Ceej arrive! Get your row on. Sophie is so shy. I thought all dogs loved me? I’m on to you, LUTHER. Against the Grain for lunch. Best soft pretzel of my young life. Everything tastes amazing.
4. Garage Bar. The lemonade is good. Jerome actually did an oyster shot. Can you believe Michael broke up with Mary in high school? Hamburger Helper for all. Grass couch furniture shopping.
5. Haymarket Whiskey Bar. It’s her first day. Old Fashioneds and Manhattans. Lake Erie High Ball for Mary. Pinball. You were meant for me.
6. Big Bar. Worst brainfreezes ever. Mary has given birth, she wins. So many motorcycles. That guy has the same purse as me. Can we go into some AC?
7. Chill Bar. CJ’s friend used to live there. Happy Hour on the Centrome’s tab. Who knows how to floss? Disco balls and sweaty balls. More chex mix, please. How is Jerome so good at cornhole? Millennials. Straight people PDA.
8. DiOrio’s. Carol, you crazy. Tiny pizzas. Do you guys have Yuengling? Too full to eat our entrees. Let’s just go home. No time for Steel City Pops. :(
9. Everyone is asleep by 10:30pm. Is this what happens when you grow up?
10. Coffee run. What is a vint julep? Nick cut off by an old. Cheers and apologies for the straws.
11. This is the wrong Taco Luchador. Christmas time Lyft. This Taco Luchador is closed. Basic Mexican at Los Aztecas. Chips, no bueno.
12. Evan Williams Distillery Tour. Awesome, interactive tour. Tammy Brown. Who’s this clown? That’s called a Kentucky Chew. Bourbon, not so good. Bourbon balls? Phenomenal. That was an expensive shot. Souvenirs. Group pics.
13. WorldFest. New shades. Gucci gucci gucci. Too hot and humid. River and bridges. We need to get back into temperature control.
14. We couldn’t even pay the troll toll. Models on a stroll. Impellizari’s. Tom Collins plus soda. I’m a glazed donut. Should we take Birds?
15. Is it Gravel-ys? Or Grave-lys? Bob’s here. Jerome eats beetles and meal worms. So what? Everyone looks good in my shades. Describe your lover in one word. Are we being crop-dusted? Bad girl with secret shots. CJ picks a purple shirt. That Lyft is too small. Cassata cake?
16. Royal’s Hot Chicken. Ceej is a skeptical foodie. He knows Nashville chicken. Warm beers. Bourbon & Cheerwine Adult Slushys with a y. Everything delicious. Best wedge ever. That was Mary’s last bite of cheese and shells.
17. Naps? How about Ron & Tammy x2. STEEL CITY POPS DELIVERY! None of these are labeled. Her name was etched in sorrow and now it’s blasted in light. Wel Come? What?
18. Back Door Bar. IT’S ABSOLUT VANILLA. Murder, Marry, Make out. Match the faces. That does not look like Nick. I’m dying.
19. Play. This is a talent show. What’s going on? Who is screaming? What is that fan? This is odd. Let’s go home.
20. Everyone is asleep again.
21. Time to check out. Stair pics. Miss you already.
22. Happy Survey Day. You know who you sound like? What does side to side mean? Dick bicycle. This murder is making me tired. This is really vulgar. Popeye’s! Time to pick up our dogs and children.
23. Nap time.
24. Sorry you forgot your $13 comb, Jerome.