#xanthetransboy

[xander-robbinst0rres]

Xan the Trans*Boy || Pt. 4

In an exam room of the outpatient surgery ward, Alexa sat with all parents present. Addison had called in a favor with an endocrinologist from Columbia, and he would be there any minute. A resident had already run Alexa's labs, and the family was preparing for the hormone blocking implant that would allow the little boy to delay going into the wrong puberty.  

Sitting on a chair in the corner of the room, Alexa's youngest sister Skylar sat, her knees pulled up to her chest and a copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in her hands.  

"Now, 'Lexa, remember how I explained what this is?" Addison asked, to which Alexa gave an enthused nod. "Care to share with the class?"

"Well, the hormone blocker is like putting a car in neutral. Everything is still running, the engine is still burning gas, but we're not moving backwards or forwards. So most developments my body has made won't regress. But I won't make anymore. The downside is that I might not get taller for a while, and I'll look like a little kid for a little bit longer, but puberty is essentially halted." A small sigh could be heard from the corner of the room. Skylar looked around the room, rolled her eyes, and returned to her book.

"Anything you'd like to add, Skylarpedia?" Mark called over, a little more gruff than he'd intended.

"All metaphors do are cloud the explanation with imagery that doesn't necessarily relate. Your body is not a car, Lex, and it never will be. Your body is a body. The human kind, I'll add." Her tone was even and she didn't bother to look up from her book.

"Well, how would you explain it, if you're so much smarter than me?" Alexa called back. Now that her assistance was being requested, Skylar put her book down and sat criss-cross on the chair.

"A hormone blocker is either an medication taken by intramuscular injection, or by implantation of a device in the upper arm. Today, Lex, you'll be undergoing the implantation of a device, because it runs a lesser risk of improper dosages. I still don't understand why that's a factor if we basically live in a hospital, but that wasn't my call." Skylar rolled her eyes emphatically before she continued. "The hormone blocker suppresses two major puberty-inducing hormones, Luteinizing Hormone, or LH, and Follicle Stimulating Hormone, or FSH. These hormones control the development of secondary sex characteristics. In order to support your transition, the blocker will prevent the development of fatty tissue developing in traditionally female patterns, including the face, hips, thighs, and breast areas. It'll also prevent the continued development of the ovaries, which would result in the beginning of menstruation in anywhere from a year to four years."

"Well, we know which of the kids is going to win the first Harper Avery," Arizona smirked, nodding approvingly. Alexa looked a little uncomfortable, so Mami swooped in with a hug and a kiss to the top of the head.

At no better moment, the doctor came in and lit up the room with a huge smile. “Well, I’m sorry to keep you all waiting,” he nodded before directing attention at Addison and Mark. “Addie, Mark, so good to see the both of you again. Can we still do dinner tomorrow night?”

Both Mark and Addison uttered different versions of “Sure, why not,” before Addison gestured to Alexa. “Dr. Stone, these are Lex’s moms, Dr. Arizona Robbins and Dr. Callie Torres,” after a quick round of handshakes and ‘nice to meet you’s, all eyes were on Alexa. “And the patient of the hour.... This is Lex.”

The truth is that no one had addressed the elephant in the family - if Alexa was going to transition, what was his name going to be? To be as supportive as she could be, Addison reminded herself to use “Lex,” the most gender neutral form of his name.

But that was a question for another day.

[xander-robbinst0rres]

Xan the Trans*Boy || Pt. 3

Callie watched as, under the faint light of the dining room table (which may or may not have needed a few bulbs replaced, and it may or may not have been something she was asked to do something about), Arizona hunched over a stack of books, a highlighter in one hand and a pen scribbling notes on a legal pad with the other. Their kids had mostly gone to bed, save for Sofia, who was studying for a biology midterm. The sight before Callie now was eerily similar to the sight she’d witnessed of her oldest daughter just moments ago. 

As adorable as the glimpse into med school ‘Zona was, Callie knew that the frantic studying was in direct response to their baby, who Alex had recently had a conversation with them about. Alexa had had some.... Questions for her GodPops, as he was lovingly nicknamed, and Alex didn’t know what to do other than come running to her four parents. 

“I’m sorry, she told you what?” Arizona’s voice was but a whisper, but considering the silence in the attending’s lounge, she was heard loud and clear.

“Guys, she’s ten years old, for crying out loud, are we really going to -” Mark started before getting the nastiest glare from Addison he’d ever gotten. 

“Don’t you say another word, Mark Everett Sloan, or I swear....” Addison trailed off before looking around the table. Callie hadn’t said anything, Arizona looked like her perky little brain was spinning into overdrive, Alex looked more terrified than Addison had ever seen him, and Mark’s mouth still hung open. “Well, what are we going to do?” She asked matter-of-factly, leaning onto her elbows. 

“What do you mean, what are we going to do?” Callie asked, blinking rapidly as if she’d just woken up. 

Addison sighed and straightened her posture just a bit. “We’re all doctors, and we know the statistics. Kids that are in, even what they perceive to be, unsupportive home situations are more than three times likely to -” 

“Who said anything about unsupportive?” Alex jumped in. He knew that he was in over his head, and that he was four against one in a shark tank, but this was his godkid they were talking about. He was no longer reporting back on his findings after a very long conversation with the second-to-youngest  Montgomery-Sloan-Robbins-Torres kid. 

“Again I’ll say - we’re all doctors. We know what patients consider to be a show of support, and we also know what they perceive to be a situation where they’re not believed or supported, by doctors or by family.” Leaning back into her chair, Addison crossed her arms over her chest and looked over her glasses. “We can either choose to be supportive, or we can try and ignore this, but we won’t be able to stick our heads in the sand forever.” 

Callie was slowly losing her cool. This was her baby, her beautiful, blue-eyed, blonde ponytail-ed baby. Sure, the same baby that never came home without being covered in dirt, regardless of the outing, the baby that hadn’t worn a dress since her Christening, and the same baby that passionately cheered for her Seahawks with her GodPops. But still, Callie’s baby girl all the same. A tomboy she didn’t mind. But transitioning? 

“So what exactly are you suggesting, Addison?” Callie asked through gritted teeth. 

“I’m suggesting that we hear ‘Lexa out. Let 's hear what’s going on in that beautiful head we all love so much. 'Lexa is going to give us way more information that we can come up with here.” Addison’s answer was calm and collected. She knew where Callie was coming from, and what her background was. That was the parent side of Addie. The doctor side of Addie had been treating transgender patients since she was a resident, and found joy in allowing her patients to become the people, in a physical sense, that they had always been. “I think that, to buy us some time on this one, we should consider the use of hormone blockers. I know the best doctors in transgender health care and they’d be more than willing to come up here -” Mark put his hand up, just barely, as in to jump into the conversation. 

“Mark Sloan, I swear, if there is one unsupportive word coming out of your mouth, I will kick your ass up and down the Puget Sound, understand?” Addison sighed. 

“Understood,” he nodded before continuing on. “I don’t want ‘Lexa to think that we don’t think she knows herself well enough to make this call. To be able to put this into words. Especially if it was a patient of Alex’s that brought her some information to put together her own puzzle.” 

Callie looked from Alex, to Addison, to Mark, and then to Arizona. She felt like the Mommas Gay were being ganged up on, and it made her feel a little claustrophobic. Which is strange, because she’d never felt claustrophobic before. Just as she was about to chime in, Chief Bailey came waltzing into the lounge. If Callie didn’t know better, Chief Bailey had her ‘I just got laid’ face on. 

“Now what in God’s name are the five of you sitting around this table for? Don’t you have lives to save?” She asked as she poured herself a cup of coffee. “Wait... You five... What is Miss Cadence up to now?” 

“Why do you always assume Cade did something?” Alex bit back, leaning his chair back on two legs. Bailey pushed him back down to the ground before shaking her head. 

“Isn’t it always Cadence?” 

Arizona had been staring off into space, trying to wrap her head around the information she was given by the doctor she’d raised since he was a baby. “’Lexa had a chat with Alex, and he was filling us in.” 

“Oh, so not Cadence. Go on.” Bailey gave a motion for Arizona to keep going, and Arizona explained the matter at hand in the most straightforward manner she could. If Bailey didn’t know this weird, blended family as well as she did, she could have sworn that Arizona was presenting on a patient. The fact was that the youngest Baby Blondie had confided in her godfather that she might be transgender, after Alex had a patient he had to go rounds with the mom over. 

“Well, if you want my opinion,” Bailey paused for a second, staring at the dead expressions around the table. “I know you didn’t ask for it, but I’m going to give it to you anyway. It seems like y’all have just had your eyes open to something that the rest of us have seen for a while. And, so help me god, if you do not use those pretty, expensive little brains of yours to help care for that beautiful child that all five of you claim to love so much, I’m going to suspend all of you.” 

Arizona didn’t notice that Callie was right behind her until she went to highlight a page of the book she was studying, and found no highlighter. Her wife had carefully removed all instruments from her hands, and was starting to close her books. 

“’Zona, we can’t just read our way through this. We know the science of what’s going on.” Callie sighed. “Just like when she fractured her collarbone, we’re going to just have to sit back and be parents here.” 

For Arizona, that was going to be the hardest part. 

[xander-robbinst0rres]

Xan the Trans*Boy || Pt. 2

Alex had just managed to get out of the shower and pull his gym shorts on when his bathroom door went flying open. “Evil Spawn, I swear, if you don’t start knocking before you just burst into a room, especially a bathroom...” Alex trailed before turning around and seeing his wide-eyed goddaughter. “Oh, ‘Lexa, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” 

“It’s okay, my Momma tells me the same thing all the time. But when Sof does it to me, I’m supposed to ‘shut up and get out of her bathroom’, like she owns the world or somethin’.” Alexa let out an exasperated sigh before shaking her head to refocus. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something, you know, godpops to godkid.” 

“Ah, geez, I don’t want to be giving you a birds and the bees talk, can’t you go talk to Addie about that?” 

“Ew, no, birds and bees can wait, I promise.” She faked a gag, and then took a deep breath. “No, actually, I wanted to talk to you about the patient you have right now. The boy who was born a girl.” 

Alex sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “Baby Blondie, you know I can’t talk about patients with you, right?” Alexa pouted a little bit, and Alex sat down on the stool in the bathroom. “I can’t talk about specifics, but you can ask questions and I’ll try to answer. Does that sound fair?” 

“The fairest.” She nodded and sat down next to her godfather. “Well, I was listening to you talk about him, and, well, is there a word for people like him?” 

“Well, Jesse is what you’d call transgender. That means that, when he was born, he was born with a certain... set of parts, you know?” Alexa nodded, motioning for him to continue. “Well, when you have a certain set of parts, there are a lot of expectations as to what that means for you, as a person, you know?” 

“Yeah, so boys have penises and they’re rough and athletic and more likely to be huge jerks, right?” 

Alex frowned for just a second and then shrugged, “Yeah, basically. We’ll get back to that. The point is, there are some people who don’t feel like what they were given when they were born is what they were meant to have. And that makes them feel really uncomfortable in their bodies.” 

Alexa nodded and looked down at the tile floor. “So... If someone is... transgender, what can they do about it?” 

“Well, they can talk to their doctor, and figure out a game plan. You know how if people hurt their bones, or their babies are sick before they’re born, they go talk to your moms?” He got an affirmative nod from Alexa, “Well, people can start by talking to a general doctor, and if they need to talk to someone specific, general doctors can help them find the doctors they need.” 

Alexa didn’t say anything, so Alex sat there for a minute, unsure of what to do. On one hand, was this just a kid being curious about something she had never experienced? She was the kid of many doctors, after all. 

“Hey kiddo, is there something we need to talk about, godpops to godkid?” 

[xander-robbinst0rres]

Xan the Trans*Boy || Pt.1

Alexa Renae Robbins-Torres was born the third of four siblings. Her Mami carried her while her Momma, Dad, and Addie waited not-so-patiently on the outside. Meanwhile, Ella pretended to be an angsty teenager and Sofia was still her older sister’s copycat-in-chief. After Alexa would be Skylar, and that would round out a brood of eight total - that’s not including the extended family they had at Seattle Grace Mercy West. Her dad was severely out-numbered, with the score reading 1 for testosterone and 7 for estrogen.

Of the four kids, Alexa was the tomboy of them for sure. The first time she was able to choose her own haircut, her Mami had to beg and plead that she not chop off all of her beautiful blonde hair. Though it only ever got thrown in a ponytail or a single French braid, was constantly sat on/had food and/or mud in it, and was just generally a pain in the ass… Alexa kept her hair at the mid-back length she had achieved because she didn’t want her Mami to cry. And it definitely would have happened.

At 10 years old, she was a forward on her soccer team and spent more time covered in dirt than not - even if it drove her Momma and Mami absolutely nuts.

One night, her parents were stuck at the hospital later than usual, and her godfather picked  her up from soccer and brought her home with him. This was a fairly normal occurrence; her and Cade would share rooms/houses anywhere from 2-4 times a week. That was the cool thing about having a chosen family made up of doctors and their kids - everyone knew the struggle.

"Cade, 'Lexa, you better get those hands washed and get down here for dinner, Momma Jo and I are chowing down in about 3 minutes, with or without you!" Alexa's godfather, Alex, called up the stairs before coming back and resuming his conversation with Jo. "I just don't know what to do about this kid." He sighed as he finished bringing in the plate of burgers from the kitchen.

"Well, what does the mom say?" Jo asked back, a stack of plates in her own hands. The two continued to get everything onto the table as they talked about a patient they shared.

"The mom is so f***ing stupid, she just wants her son to forget about this whole thing." Alexa had run down the stairs and was about to make a rather obnoxious entrance into the kitchen, when she heard how frustrated her uncle Alex was about a patient.

"I mean, if she doesn't want her daughter to -" Jo started and was immediately cut off by Alex.

"Son, Jo. Son. This kid was sobbing when I came into his room, and he broke down and he told me. He's never been a girl, and he bought some fucking fake testosterone online so that people would finally stop calling him a girl. And now he's in our Peds ward and I don't know that we can turn this one around."

"So walk me through this whole thing, because I'm not sure I understand. Jessica-"

"Jesse," Alex cut Jo off sharply, before taking a deep breath and continuing. "Was assigned female at birth. Vagina, ovaries, whole nine yards. As a little kid, he said it didn't really matter what was going on, uh, downstairs, because no one made a big deal of it. It wasn't until he hit puberty and his chest got to be the size of Neptune and his period started that he started to feel really gross about his body. Couldn't look in a mirror, hated getting naked, wouldn't shower for as long as he could put off."

"Gross, might I add," Jo muttered, sitting across from Alex.

"Hey, I don't say anything about you when you're stuck at the hospital for days on end and don't exactly smell like a bed of roses."

"That literally never happens."

"More often than not, you smell like what's used to make roses grow, and not the roses themselves," Alex snapped back and Jo's mouth hung wide open. "Anyway. This kid had been talking to people online that felt the same way that he does, and they recommended that he start hormone therapy. The only issue is, in Washington, you have to be over 18 to go see the endocrinologist that can get you those drugs. And Jesse knew he couldn't wait that long."

"So the kid ordered the kind of testosterone that body builders use!?" Jo interjected, much to Alex's annoyance.

"Essentially. He ordered Testosterone Cypionate online, and got lucky. Got a good batch. things were going fine, this went on for a year and his parents didn't know anything about it. A few weeks ago, he noticed he was running low and put in an order online to get what he needed. Just like always. The batch got here three days ago, and he was due for his shot yesterday. So, like always, he sanitized the area and got ready to inject himself. He was fine for a little bit after the shot, but proceeded to have a seizure. His parents called 911, and was brought here."

Alexa was watching from the dark living room as her godfather and her best friend's mom were talking about this kid, but tuned out when Uncle Alex got to the part about Aunt Jo smelling bad. She was too hung up on how he described this kid.

The family got through dinner, and Alexa helped her Aunt Jo clean the kitchen - something Cade had yet to do, and she actually lives here. Just as they were finishing up, Jo looked down at the small girl and smiled. "Hey 'Lexa, why don't you go upstairs and get your backpack from Cade's room and I'll take you home?"

"Actually, I need to go talk to Uncle Alex really quick. I'll be back down soon!"