#xanxusdino

[onceabluemoonwrites]

[jazz hands] ok but I want those Chrome and Xanxus’ Merry World of Murder headcanons. \( ´∀｀)/

I’m so excited you asked about this! *sparkly eyes* Here it is! 😄

1. Chrome and Xanxus actually dated once- and quickly figured out that Chrome was lesbian, but stayed good friends after.

2. Chrome is the biggest DinoXanxus shipper around, no matter what Hibari Kyoya might think about his fandom prowress.

3. One of the things Chrome dislikes about Xanxus is his love for accountancy. Her mother’s love for material goods and fame made her childhood a living hell on top of the neglect. She loves both Mammon (her mentor) and Xanxus a lot, but the money-related obsessions and life choices irk her (Coincidentially, accountancy is actually one of Xanxus and Dino’s shared hobbies).

4. Xanxus OTHER passion, assassination, is something they both take great pleasure in. This is not just “gun-shoot-dead” murder, mind you, this is “fuck-with-their-minds-before-you-shoot-‘em-nice-and-good” to “lets-stage-a-murder-scene-that-will-lead-to-real-life-clue”. Killing is a game, and Chrome fits in VERY well with the Varia in that aspect.

5. Chrome 100% encouraged Lussuria to give the Varia mansion a gothic make over for Halloween in 2003 that hasn’t gone away since. She is under high suspicion, but distracts anyone who tries to make her break the illusion either with cuddles or with fun assassination targets (yes, Tsuna fell for that one too. Iemitsu did not survive).

[onceabluemoonwrites]

Y'all realize that XanxusDino's shipname is XD, right?

[onceabluemoonwrites]

I got a request from someone who’d rather remain anonymous via messaging for a headcanon ask meme I did a while ago! For XanxusDino! *grins* There were a lot of them, so this is the first half! 

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?

Dino. Xanxus has a shoe addiction and Dino is weak to Xanxus in heels. (Nobody talks about the abundant amount of whips Xanxus bought that are all proudly displayed on the wall. Of the bedroom, of course, because if either Tsuna or Bianchi saw those, Xanxus would have been dead and unlike Lussuria, Dino likes his lovers alive).

If anyone’s wondering about the Tsuna and Bianchi comment, there’s an explanation in the headcanon ask I got earlier this year. You can find it here.

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?

Xanxus keeps trying to convince Dino of the holiness of sleep, but Dino still ain’t getting it. The finances keep him up all night, and while Xanxus’ will admit that accounting is the best job ever after assassination (one can cause just as much suffering, after all), there is no fun in stealing the blankets when there’s nobody to complain about it. And snuggle up to him afterwards, but that’s a story for another day, children.

Just like that one time Xanxus woke up with Dino’s foot in his mouth because Dino does not stay put in his sleep. He does acrobatics instead. The one time he asked about it (read: tied Dino down in a decidedly unsexy manner so he would stop wiggling around his sleep), Dino told him: ‘’Reborn.’’ Xanxus laughed himself silly at the ensuing story. Zero pity from him.

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?

Lussuria reads the OTP prompts, Romario smiles and nods occasionally. Mammon writes OTP prompts in exchange for money, based on Xanxus and Dino and sells them to Tsuna without telling him. It’s a disguised form of information brokering, both are aware, but Tsuna’s ‘’Dino-nii is pure and would NEVER do that, so it obviously has to be someone else.’’ He reads them when they come over for dinner. Que Bianchi sharpening her knife, smiling, and saying: ‘’It better not be.’’  Nobody touches the food after that.

Bonus:

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?

…Anon did not ask about 2, but 2 was irresistible, so I’m doing it anyway.

Xanxus. Dino is a comfy seat, and Xanxus will fall asleep anywhere and everywhere. Dino doesn’t mind- Xanxus is like a stove, and Dino is always cold so having a heater in his lap is nice. (Also, the first time this happened, Dino freaked out a little. Not because Xanxus fell asleep, but because there was no angry frown and Dino was afraid for a second that a stranger fell asleep in his lap).

[onceabluemoonwrites]

3, 17 and 20 for Xanxus/Dino?

3. Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?

Xanxus is definitely the one who walks around half-naked, Dino is too busy ogling to even see the other people around them (he needs all his concentration for navigating and ogling at the same time, honestly. His aim isn’t even preventing himself from tripping, it’s not breaking bones- a more realistic goal). The one who yells at Xanxus to put on some clothes is, predictably, Squalo, who would very much like to eat his breakfast without his boss showcasing for the boyfriend. 

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?

If we’re gonna go ‘’everybody lives’’ - Enrico did so once just because he wanted to know what it felt like because it was a Big Point in fanfiction and he just had to try it out. 

Frederico is really too sensible for it (read: he saw it as Cute Little Brother Number 2: This One Screams Less), Massimo gave a shovel talk with such glee that not even Dino could take him seriously. 

Tsuna is no older sibling and neither is Bianchi, but they gave Xanxus the shovel talk of his life and still squint at him every time he does anything more than holding Dino’s hand. 

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?

Dino has ATROCIOUS text etiquette- to the point where many people ask themselves what he’s actually trying to say. 

…Xanxus is slightly OCD about grammar, but also can’t be bothered to text a long message, so mostly he just calls. There was this one time he pretended to be possessed by texting Dino in a Dino-esque way to mess with him, and knowing how scarily insistent Xanxus is on grammar, Dino believed him.

He came home with the local exorcist on speed dial, only to see Xanxus laughing his ass off. Let’s just say it was an incident nobody ever spoke off again and that Xanxus slept on the couch for a week.

[onceabluemoonwrites]

... I just figured out where my taste for Xanxus/Dino came from. And why I need to finally write it. I tripped over Life is Short (Heels Shouldn't Be), and now I want Xanxus fucking Dino wearing pretty shoes :D

Come to the dark side, we have Catholic boys who wear heels to church and their hopeless boyfriends *grins*

(Also, I still can’t believe there was no Xanxus/Dino content before, and I am So Glad you guys share my enlightenment. I am Not Alone! *hugs you*) 

Yes. So much YES~!