Editing the trash fire, round 3 I think for this bit. It's finally comprehensible and looks like writing and not just, Xave plays with his mom's makeup and his Dad's a clueless wreck. Oh, and Alex makes an appearance. But terribly full of typos and misspellings. Still very early in the process, so not looking for anything, just throwing it out into the world, cause I'm proud of myself for actually having put words to document and beating them into some type of thing that looks vaguely story shaped.
Xavier is four, maybe five. His mom has been missing for a few days, but he doesn’t know the word “missing” only that she hasn’t been home in a few days. He can feel how worried his dad is. He worries inside himself though, because mom always said not to stress dad out cause it makes him sick. Xave can see that his dad definitely looks sick. And his dad cries, and gets sad… very sad, so Xave keeps his worry to himself.
He’s dabbling in his mom’s makeup now. Sometimes she helps him put it on. She always helps to wash it off again, because “we don’t want the other little boys to laugh” But to herself she’s thinking, “if I have to have another talk with Ms. Bradbury”, who is the preschool teacher. And him wearing makeup makes his dad cry too and say “where did I go wrong” which makes his mom set her mouth in a certain way, but she still doesn’t start an argument with her husband over it. Xavier likes the makeup, it makes him feel like his mom is here with him, helping him put makeup on reminds him of one of her happy times. There aren’t very many. Xave looks at himself in the mirror. His lips part and he puts on lipstick carefully, just like she’d showed him. It’s messy though, his little 5 year old hand can’t do it very well by himself.
He wears his makeup like armor, protecting his scared little heart. What will he do without mommy? Where did she go? Is she still sad? He slides off the high stool that’s set in front of her vanity. He only opens the door a crack when he hears his dad on the phone. “… near the woods? Not her? Where could she be?! What about dogs? I’m on my way! … the police station? You’re sure she went into the woods? I’m going to help with the search. You can’t stop me.” His dad ‘s voice is strained. Too many nights spent in tears will do that. He grabs his coat and without giving Xavier another thought, goes out the door to his car and drives.
Xavier’s all the way out of the bedroom in a flurry, “Daddy?” he looks around, bewildered and anxious. “DaddYYY?!” his voice more frantic. He yanks the door open and watches his father’s car speed down the street.
Another voice is in his head. “Hes such a bad father. We deserve so much more than that.” Xavier frowns. “Shut up Alex, Mommy says he’s good.”
Xavier sighs and sits on the porch steps outside the kitchen door, watching down the road. He’s such a small child, tiny for his age. He stays on the step until after dark. His dad doesn’t come home that night either.
