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Art by @IIITHEMANIII on Twitter (spicy version under the cut)

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To the Commander of XCOM,

Normally I would not be using such unorthodox form of communication, however I must ensure that this message reaches your eyes. You have been silent to my attempts at radio contact, and this matter cannot be ignored.

Commander, I am deeply concerned for your soldiers. As much as I heartily enjoy combat with a willing adversary, your soldiers responses to my appearance has been concerning to say the least. It is as though they have no fear of death whatsoever, breaching a healthy level of courage and venturing into borderline psychopathy.

Take your last mission, for example. It was a simple one, for them at least, and quite frankly I expected them to have no trouble besting our troops. However, when I appeared on the field of battle and announced my intention to slay each and every one of them, your soldiers let up a resounding cheer and a laugh, that did not sound one bit like screams of terror or sorrow. One of them even yelled “Please step on my neck, Mommy!” which was quite offensive as I am not, nor ever have I been, someone’s mother, and I would not step on their neck if I was.

While your soldiers fought honorably, I am, quite frankly, afraid for their mental states if they accept death with a joyous laugh, running head first towards it with open arms. It is my sincere recommendation that you invest in psychological counseling for your warriors. While it is my duty to give them an honorable death, I do hope for them to retain the desire to live until I grant it to them.

With honor,

Vox Prima, Elder Assassin

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