#xcom patchwork

[dreadblades]

Transcribing my favourite Chimera Squad conversations, pt. 9 (Rescue Outspoken D.J., Encounter 3)

Floyd Tesseract: Always knew XCOM would come for me. Didn't see it going down like this.

Whisper: Holy crap, it's Floyd Tesseract!

Godmother: Great. This guy.

Floyd Tesseract: I'm just as underwhelmed.

~

Torque: Oh no. We preemptively lost the hostage. There was nothing we could have done.

Floyd Tesseract: That's what I expected from XCOM.

~

Claymore: The sectoid prepper?

Floyd Tesseract: I prepare you against future indoctrination.

~

Patchwork: The ranty guy? I expected more spittle at the corners of his mouth.

Floyd Tesseract: Preposterous. I posess no natural oral lubricant.

~

Blueblood: The conspiracy theorist?

Floyd Tesseract: Oh, they aren't theories.

~

Axiom: Don't care. You move when we say.

Floyd Tesseract: Story of my life.

~

Zephyr: I thought he'd be taller.

Floyd Tesseract: You could say I'm a late bloomer.

~

Shelter: The angry man? Who thinks everything is linked to... Everything else?

Floyd Tesseract: Oh, but it is.

~

Verge: "Floyd". You were just as insufferable during the invasion.

Floyd Tesseract: "Verge". You were just as self-righteous.

~

Terminal: Oh, wow! I am the biggest fan of your show.

Floyd Tesseract: No autographs in a combat zone.

~

Cherub: The guy from You Should Have Believed?

Floyd Tesseract: You don't fit my demographic.

Cherub: Darn it.

Floyd Tesseract: But demographics are a lie built to justify short-term decision-making.

Cherub: Hooray?

Whisper: Mr. Tesseract? We need to get you out of there.

Floyd Tesseract: I know the drill. I devised the drill. Head down, follow orders, keep living.

Floyd Tesseract: Old habits die hard.

[dreadblades]

Could've sworn I'd posted this headcanon already but apparently not

Anyway I imagine Patchwork and Axiom became friends fairly quickly after meeting. Her being all in on engineering, and Axiom having the experience to keep up with her. She's also the most seemingly open to aliens and their technologies, defending the presence of the gene therapy clinics and the MECs; her issue was always with how the Elders used them. Hence she was interested and delighted (at first) in learning about life on the invasion ships before Axiom brought up the part where he and his fellow mutons were "kept docile"

Which makes sense, alien tech is why she can get by now. Although alien tech is also why she's a triple-amputee to begin with

Still, I can imagine she was among the quickest to befriend Axiom when he joined the team. Or when she did, whichever order that happened in

[dreadblades]

Transcribing my favourite Chimera Squad conversations, pt. 3 (Terminal & Patchwork)

Patchwork: Stop asking. I'll never agree to it. Terminal: Come on! A GREMLIN fight would be important for, let's say, training purposes. Patchwork: And when the dust clears, who repairs the broken GREMLIN? Terminal: You. Most likely. Patchwork: Restoring your GREMLIN from a pile of slag is not how I care to spend my time. Terminal: Was that... Did you just smack talk me? Patches, I'm so proud.

~

Patchwork: Do you think we should swap callsigns? Terminal: To confuse everyone? I'm in! Patchwork: No, because I work so often with computer terminals. And you, you patch people up. Terminal: Do you not like your callsign? Patchwork: Everyone makes assumptions about why I chose it. Terminal: Well, everyone's an idiot. You slap software together like I close wounds. It's a thrill to watch you work. Patchwork: Thanks, Terminal. And I do like your callsign. It reminds me of how you are on the battlefield. Terminal: Are you saying I move at terminal velocity? Patchwork: Your mouth does. Terminal: Ha! Oh, Patches. Don't change a thing about you.