can you survive the chopping block?
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can you survive the chopping block?
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
“Why’dya gotta be so persnickety, hm?” Honeydew complained as Xephos stared at the contents of his plate halfheartedly, having only managed a few bites. The dwarf was desperately trying to get the man to warm up to Minecraftian food, to not much luck. The only thing he really consistently liked was plain bread and apples, and Honeydew wasn’t content with that at all.
“C’mon, ‘Dew, it’s vegetables. No one likes vegetables,” Lalna protested exaggeratedly on Xephos’ behalf. Xephos couldn’t help but agree. The food group of ‘vegetables’ tended to have the worst textures and tastes of all the foods on this planet.
He missed his ration bars.
“Just because you have the diet of a child and eat pasties all day doesn’t mean he should, too,” Honeydew lectured. Lalna rolled his eyes. The human had tried to convince Honeydew that the alien eating anything was better than trying to force him to eat ‘properly,’ but Honeydew was determined to help the man find at least a few balanced meals he liked.
“…I like pasties,” Xephos sulked to himself. Lalna offered him a sympathetic smile, looking a bit goofy as he did.
bored at work again
Hello
(Not) Getting Married Today from Company (either Madeline Kahn’s or Johnathan Bailey’s versions) feels more or less in line with Xephos getting a little too introspective and existential with (ship of choice here)
That is all
ooh hoho, im having such mixed feelings about this one ngl 👀
on the one hand, Amy’s spiral is so Xephos. The quick, clipped dialogue that is conveying a barely masked meltdown is so very him. Especially in Kahn’s performance with the stiff frozen posture, barely blinking long stares, as she rambles faster and faster. And that’s just the performance, the lyrics fit really well, too. The passive self-blame: “Because I wouldn't ruin anyone as wonderful as he is” “where suddenly he'll realize he's saddled with a nut” “It isn't only (fiancé) who may be ruining his life”
implying that he would be the one to ruin everything, fits very well with my interpretation of Xeph having low self-esteem (particularly not thinking he’s good enough for the people he loves.) And of course the exact count of all the gift items (I have long believed Xeph to have OCD and inflicted my own counting compulsion as a hc)
on the other hand, because damn my hopeful nature, i’m such a shipping purist. I love happy endings and true love and man it sucks to imagine Xeph in any yogship feeling this miserable about a relationship. i can only really see it in the case of him last minute bailing out of an arranged marriage (my notps are who came to mind first but not even them tbh, I def can’t imagine him being that upset with Lalna or Honeydew or most of his ships in general. maybe like. if it was Israphel LOL)
Other scenario i could see is cold feet specifically from the self-esteem issue, that he worries he’s going to ruin the other’s life and he cares too much about them to risk hurting them like that (if I expanded this to a fic everything would work out okay and they would go through with the marriage)
tho while we’re here a more positive-ish spin on Xephos being insecure/unsure in love that also happens to be from another musical is “When He Sees Me” from Waitress. (I obviously see it as early Xephna from Xephos’ perspective bc I’m predictable like that lol but it could work with any ship)
doodles
Finishing Tale - Page 11
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Ridgedog: So, what I told you was true… from a certain point of view. Xephos: ‘A certain point of view’???
Finishing Tale - Page 10
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