#xfactor41

[gaknar]

This was the first X-Factor comic I ever bought as it was current on the comic stands back in 1989 (that is, the first issue that wasn’t a back issue). I remember it being… pretty boring. SEE STAN, THIS IS WHY WE DON’T LET FANS DESIGN COMIC BOOK CHARACTERS. I KNOW YOU’RE RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS SINCE JACK LEFT AND YOU’D RATHER BE DOING A LINE OF COCAINE OFF A HOOKER’S BUTTHOLE INSTEAD OF WORKING ON A COMIC BOOK BUT SINCE YOU WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT HOW YOU CREATED SPIDER-MAN AND ALL THE AVENGERS AND THE X-MEN MAYBE YOU COULD TAKE LIKE A 10 MINUTE BREAK FROM DOING SHROOMS IN THE BOILER ROOM WITH EMMANUEL LEWIS AND TRY TO SHAKE LOOSE SOME OF THAT FANTASTIC FOUR MAGIC YOU’RE SO PROUD OF SO WE DON’T HAVE TO COME UP WITH A 12 ISSUE STORY ARC ABOUT SOME CHARACTER CREATED BY AN EIGHT YEAR OLD. LIKE, DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE GALACTUSES IN THERE? MAYBE A DAREDEVIL OR A DOCTOR DOOM? ACCORDING TO YOU, YOU USE TO SHIT TRIPLE A COMIC BOOK CHARACTERS IN THE 1960s LIKE YOU WERE ON UNICORN LAXITIVES. HOW COME YOU CAN’T DO THAT ANYMORE STAN. HMM? HOW COME YOU CAN’T DO THAT ANYMORE. (X-Factor #41 – Jun 1989)

[gaknar]

This is a nice callback to how Boom Boom has been dropping time bombs into peoples’ pants since the second she showed up on X-Factor’s doorstep, but honestly if this comic was at all realistic I’m pretty sure Beast would be strangling that kid by now. Like, how much of that shit can one Beast put up with. (X-Factor #41 – Jun 1989)

[gaknar]

Oh what in the actual fuck. The X-Men left X-Factor to deal with the New Mutants after Inferno ended? Where the fuck is Magneto, their god damn caretaker??? Shit I think I might be reading these comics out of order. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure these posts go up in the right order.

Editor's note: Yes, I was reading these comics out of order. Yes, the X-Men fucked off after Inferno and left the New Mutants to fend for themselves. And yes, so did Magneto.(X-Factor #41 – Jun 1989)

[gaknar]

X-Factor brought their baby on the troll hunting mission they’re on??? Jesus they should have left him with the New Mutants. They’ve had this kid for all of 2 issues and he’s already almost died two dozen times. CALL CHILD SERVICES. (X-Factor #41 – Jun 1989)

[gaknar]

Hey here’s an idea. How about you DON’T let the New Mutants watch the fucking baby. I mean, unless you want it to get SHOT. Seriously, what have they ever done to earn any responsibility? When Magneto was their caretaker, they couldn’t stay in their rooms for 5 god damned minutes without sneaking off to a mutant animal reserve and as a result they killed Doug Ramsey. He gave them like a million chances and they kept disobeying him, and it turned him into a motherfucking super villain again!! Jesus these New Mutants. (X-Factor #41 – Jun 1989)

[gaknar]

Hmm who does this dork remind me of. Oh wait I got it.

(X-Factor #41 – Jun 1989)

[gaknar]

Despite this great artwork, I could just absolutely not be bothered to care about anything that’s going on in this comic book. X-Factor is trying to save some mutant kid named Alchemy, who has been kidnapped by the literal Yeti and Abominable Snowman (they actually make it a point to say that these mythical creatures are actually misunderstood mutants), and what’s worse, our crack team of veteran mutants get MANHANDLED and CAGED by these guys.

And where’s the fucking baby!! No one knows!!!!

Where are the New Mutants when you need them. (X-Factor #41 – Jun 1989)

[gaknar]

Oh Jesus who is that. This comic looks interesting. (NOT). Well at least its drawn by Art Adams, a plus that almost outweighs how shitty these newspaper print scans look. Digger, get out the barfbags I stole from that Allegiant Air flight we were on. Yes I talk to my dead dog. (X-Factor #41 – Jun 1989)