#xfactorannual6

[gaknar]

There’s one more backup story in X-Factor Annual #6 that I want to comment on. It’s about Mystique who is apparently not dead, but seems to be taking some time off to mourn the death of her partner Destiny. This is a very good story, and I recommend reading it. We see Mystique reminiscing about her relationship with Destiny as she prepares to spread her ashes at a specific time and place of Destiny’s choosing, and the candid flashbacks we’re shown depict some heartbreaking interactions between the two as they struggle with the fact that Mystique is basically immortal, and Destiny isn’t. But . . . and I’m going to spoil this for you, because it’s precious, it all leads up to the exact moment that Destiny directed Mystique to spread her ashes, and this happens.

This was almost worth suffering through the Kings of Pain crossover. (X-Factor Annual #6 – 1991)

[gaknar]

Ok, how is this Operation Desert Storm bloodbath going to end? First, you’ll be relieved to know that Crimson Commando didn’t get his legs blown off, despite what the coloring in the first panel here would have you believe:

He’s practically fucking dead though, and he did indeed have half his face blown clean off, and the hesitation in Avalanche’s demeanor to possibly give a shit is absolutely delicious, so there’s still that. Next, the Blob and Pyro get desperate and start straight up murdering bitches, proven here when Veil gets incinerated in just about the most brutal fashion possible.

“Barbequed.” “Babe.” JFC. Avalanche manages to get Crimson Commando to the extraction point and then ruthlessly makes the decision to leave everyone else behind.

And he doesn’t sugar coat it at all because . . . they aren’t worth it. “Hey sorry guys! We’re going to fuck off on out of here! Maybe try the embassy! Or the underground resistance? I dunno. Good luck!” And that’s how this story ends. With Crimson Commando’s face falling off, Avalanche fist fucking his teammates, and the Blob and Pyro getting captured as prisoners of war. 

You gotta be shitting me! What happens after this!! Do the Blob and Pyro get waterboarded?? Guys, one time in college a friend got his car stuck on the highway during a really bad snow storm and a bunch of us went out to help him but we couldn’t all fit in the car headed out there and one guy who was with us who really didn’t want to go in the first place was like “shit I guess there’s no room, well anyway, I’ll take a roast beef and a curly fry from Arbys.” That’s what this is like! Except they’re in Iraq and they’re probably going to be executed!! What was the point of this story?? Do they follow up on this? I’ll be watching for it. (X-Factor Annual #6 – 1991)

[gaknar]

Not even one person, not a single one of you Scott Summers sympathizers out there, should be surprised that Cyclops’s solution to this epsilon level threat, this minor inconvenience, this wayward soul who’s just trying to figure things out and isn’t really hurting anyone, is for Proteus to go fuck himself. Literally, in Scott’s mind, everything in his life would just be easier if anyone that’s causing him even the slightest inconvenience would just fuck off and die. Like, he could have got divorced. He could have provided some closure and financial support to his wife and child which could have prevented her from transforming into a Goblin Queen. He could have been honest and just admitted he was a dickhead who would rather be with his ex-girlfriend, but also, granted, it was a lot easier when Madelyne just died. That’s why it seemed like he was pretending to be upset when it happened. How many times is this man going to ritualistically exhibit this sort of toxic behavior before everyone realizes what a dickhead he is!! The only redeeming thing about this scene is when everyone else is debating whether to go through with Cyclops’s asshole plan, Feral refers to Shatterstar as . . . “Shattybuns.”

Heavenly. (X-Factor Annual #6 – 1991)