A Bittersweet and Spicy Revisit
Shen Xiaoting (Kep1er) x Male Reader
Tags: smut, fluff, (slight) angst, rough, angry, (brief) degradation, praise, oral, anal, creampie, daddy kink, old flames
Word count: 10.3k
a/n: okay, so I freaked the eff out when I accidentally uploaded this without any pictures yet lol. but it's out again. for real. this originally wouldn't have reached this word count, but here it is. also, it's in second person pov, but I hope you like this one.
You didn't love the idea of a college reunion, especially one that takes place in an entire weekend. But you didn't have anything else to do, aside from grinding hours and hours of competitive CS or Valorant just to project your suppressed anger at your desk job. If only your same ol’ friends didn’t bug you about your absence ruining their night. Your silent yet visible and ‘enabling’ companionship around them was still something that they needed from you from time to time.
“You sure you don't wanna tag along with us, man? We'll just come back here tomorrow morning, just in time for breakfast. It's not even far from this city.”
“I'm sure we'll be fine. We'll leave before sunset. It's not like they can expel us.”
“Some hoobaes told us they heard you yelling your hearts out at the garden last night. What happened to you? And what's with these bite marks? Wait… Are those hick—”
“I told you, man. I know you have history, but that woman is bad news, okay? Stay away from her.”
“I'm not sure we wanna leave you on your own here, dude. Think it over.”
They left before the rain got heavier, left to your own devices. But it was your choice, even if you didn't have much to do throughout the whole day either. Despite their pleas and warnings.
You’re still in your second day, but the afternoon activities were ruined by bad weather, leaving most to dip out of the event, or stay at this hotel for another night, as long as the committee pays for their rooms. Who knew that summer would have more rain than any other season? And tonight, that’s when you cross paths the second time. Now, she wants to meet, as if yesterday wasn’t enough for either of you. So you meet her at the hotel bar, more sober than last time, but not enough to hide the anguish beating your heart down.
Your friends had a point. She was bad news. But you know it's not because of her.
“You’re being immature again, Changmin-ah,” Xiaoting sighs and sips her glass. You only grumble without any witty counter, because she's right. How else can you justify yourself? You can't. You just take another sip of your glass. “Let’s just talk about it.”
It's because of the gut-wrenching memories you tried your best to bury deeper into your mind, not realizing that your heart never forgets when it's most broken.
Even with the sound of plummeting rain outside, her soft voice reaches out next to you. You agreed to meet her up for a quick drink, after your rough yelling contest last night.
“Call me whatever you want, but you’re the one who fucking left me, Xiaoting… And after all these years, you’re just back, just all of the sudden? And you want to talk like everything’s sunshine and rainbows.” Your conscience tells you that's not what she means, but stubbornness has been one of the worst things you hate about yourself. How you let it take over yourself when it comes to a matter of self-righteousness or self-pity. After taking the last sip on your glass, your fist clenches along with your heartbeat, wishing you can hit yourself. But that would break her heart. “I…” you almost choke on your words. “I, uhhh, don't know what else to say.”
To her, your words feel like darts thrown straight through her heart, believing that your one fun night was nothing more than exes having a summer fling at a college reunion. “Maybe… You don't have to say anything.” However, Ting’s instinct pushes her heartbreak aside. One big fight was enough. Neither of you would want more leechers, chatterers, and murmurers meddling with your situation, whatever it is. This isn't the time for more arguments, she's had enough. Enough drama.
If you're stubborn, she's persistent. Learning from her and your mistakes last night, she moves to deescalate and simmer down your intensifying temper from erupting at her. But damn it, if she isn’t so graceful and beautiful. Always has been. Since college, boys and girls had always been orbiting around her like she's a life-bearing planet, or a star that lights up their days and nights whenever she crossed their paths in the same room. One of the it girls and campus crushes, that's how she was for you, too.
Despite it being obvious in her gaze, you’ve always known she cannot hide her sadness through her eyes. Instead you feel something stronger, as she does. The same burning affection you still have for each other, after all this time. Her perfume comes after your scent like pheromones, making your head fixated on her direction, making your eyes slowly scan her appearance, revisiting just some of her features which you have always been struck by. Her carefree summer outfit. Her legs crossed. Her slim waist and hips. Her arms and fingers, clattering on the bar counter in the same rhythm as a clock. Her eyes fixed on yours. Her lips curving upwards, one side higher than the other.
In silence, she's not just putting on a show just to deescalate your bitter spite.
She’s inviting you in.
Unable to hold in the gulp in your throat, your breath heaves the more she closes the distance between you two, within an inch, the smell of her drink and yours mixing in the cold air as she tells you, “Take it easy.”
“I'm not drunk,” you grumble. You’re not even close to tipsy, you're more bummed that you’re not wasted enough to not feel embarrassed about being this sober in front of her.
“I didn't say you are…” she retorts. “And well… Neither am I.”
Her voice always comes as a spell you’ve often fallen for, no matter what comes out of her lips. You just want each other now, as you did the other night. The woman’s long fingers trail from your shoulder to your wrist, her head moving closer to yours. She would rather have this night end in any other way.
With most of yourself remaining sober, you take her through your room, quickly opening the door as your lips lock and tongues tangle with intense fervor. Her enticing taste and alluring smell hasn’t left your memory, even though you’ve done it a few times last night. And yet, before this reunion, Xiaoting hasn’t left your mindscape, no matter how much you tried with nights filled with booze and mornings with so much bile in your apartment’s bin. Even that’s one memory you wanted to forget for a long time; your friends couldn’t help but make fun of or console you sometimes.
But enough of that.
While you make out, you reach down her ass, squeezing her left cheek. Xiaoting giggles in-between your kiss, leaving you with an impression that she’s read your mind, even if it’s not the case. You struggle for dominance, pushing and pinning each other into the drywalls of the room with your hands before latching your lips into one another. As you corner her into one spot, you move past her mouth and peppers kisses down her neck, spreading trails and spots of your saliva. You turn around while she closes her eyes and arch her head diagonally to indulge in your kisses, giving you the chance to explore her from the back. You push all her hair to the left side, leaving her nape exposed for your own enjoyment.
You can hear the harmonic hums and melodic moans leave Xiaoting's mouth once your lips make contact, your tongue slithering and slobbering from her nape to her right shoulder while your nostrils hover and trail over her soft skin. You whiff her perfume and a scent of the herbal shampoo on her hair, it even takes you back to when she dyed her hair pink when she was a lead in the campus dance team, or red when you first crossed paths with her at the festival, where you once thought she’s an idol. Aside from being a graceful, extraordinary dancer, you also recall how she's always been a phenomenal singer, even her moans come off as tunes to your ears.
But the aches of the present hits you back with her current whereabouts. You don't know how to feel, don't know how to deal with your anger at her actions. It was in the past, yet your grudge remains, being pulled by your lust and desire for her. The tug of war within you makes you snap for a second, letting yourself fall into the mix of both emotions, you embrace your mischievous side and sink your teeth in on her flesh, adding little pressure.
“Ngggghhh, fuck!” Xiaoting winces at the brief yet unexpected surprising sensation, only to chuckle afterwards. You parted within a second, but your bite had left a mark on her glistening and moistened skin. “You dick!”
“I’m not the one who bit me a couple of times last time,” you shoot back, prompting her to laugh again a little louder. While acknowledging your point, she holds onto both your arms from behind, wrapping them around her waist while she hovers her right hand to pull her head next to hers, stealing another kiss that you melt into within seconds.
She finds it amusing that your anger fuels your movement, aside from your lust, even surprised at your retaliation. But, truth be told, you’d never hurt her, even if you have already hurt each other terribly through words, you've always made things up through actions, whether you buy or make each other heartwarming gifts or simply get it on. Without any of your trip down memory lanes to soften either of your past wounds, it seems you can only speak through your bodies, as you have in the last twenty hours.
Following your hands, your parts lip every five seconds while you begin to undress each other at a moderate pace. Xiaoting strips her shirt and shorts off, unveiling her two-piece, while you unbutton your navy blue polo and short pants until you're left with nothing but your underwear.
But just as you think you've had the upper strength to return kissing, the tall woman turns around with a grin and pushes you down onto the cuck chair in the corner of your bed, having grown impatient with the heated foreplays and your prolonged teases. “I’ve missed this,” she gasps, before going straight back into your lips with a wider smile. “Do you?”
You’re too prideful, spiteful even, to admit that you feel the same way. But you may even want her more than she does, forcing your eager hands to explore her curves once again. And right then and there, she denies you the opportunity the second she kneels down on the floor, leveling your crotch. It must be because you didn't answer her, but who cares at this point? With her strength, she helps remove your underwear off your legs and tosses it on the floor next to the bed. For this moment, she's claimed your genitals as her playthings. You thought, you might want to be more gentle now if you don't want your own dick to be bitten off.
Slobbering all over your standing shaft with her salivating tongue, she peppers kisses until they're smeared in her spit before proceeding down your testicles. She engulfs both balls inside her mouth, making you bite your upper lip before parting. Rolling it around her palm in her own saliva, as if she's playing with them. “Your sluts must've had fun with this little big pair, haven't they? Fukcing whore.” She gives it a tight, little squeeze, instinctively triggering an ecstatic wince from your mouth, like she's demanding an answer.
Her question takes you out of “the immersion” for a second, leaving you speechless. But you let your guard down. Both of you barely knew each other since you parted ways, but that doesn't mean you can't assume the same thing about her—or remember a lot of her exes before you: a gym bro, a baseball batter, a playboy. It fuels your insecurities more. “As if you never had some fuck buddies of your own, you slut… Your own escorts.”
“Thought I lost you there for a second,” Xiaoting giggles, not even denying your claim. Her mouth hovers over your tip, slowly pushing herself down as your cock enters her piehole until your tip reaches her throat, which produces a choking sound that worries you for a second. Nevertheless, her head starts to bob up and down, sending more and stronger shivers from your spine throughout your body without stopping. “Ah! Fuck, baby,” you moan. Your fingers wrangle on her disheveled hair, yet she continues with a soft, muffled giggle before accelerating her pace further, unbothered, maybe even turned on, by your primal response.
As the pressure can no longer be contained by your own endurance, you groan louder and yell, “Fuuuuuuuck, I’m gonn—!” until both of you feel yourself busting inside her throat, producing a popping sound. You watch her swallow most of your seed, which also produces a hearty and oddly satisfying gulp sound. Facing you, Xiaoting coughs the rest off her mouth, making you lean closer to her with a sudden change of tone, breaking your cold yet fiery facade. Softer and more concerned at her silence. “Gwenchanayo?”
Looking at you with a closed smile, she only mutters “Yum...” Despite welcoming a wave of relief wash over you, your rage-fueled lust prompts you to help her stand up and hold onto her waist, inciting a yelp from Xiaoting. With her wrapping her legs around you, you carry her all the way to the king-sized bed, pushing yourself to ruin her more with your own domineering movement, as she wants you to with her naughty yet desperate eyes combined with her mixes of playful laughter. At the same moment, she unlocks her breasts with ease, dropping it on the side of the bed as she stuns you with her round breasts. She curls her index finger, demanding you come closer to her, as you do. Crawling over to her, you lunge at Xiaoting like a wild animal and latch onto her mounds. Just the right size, your devilish thoughts take over, praising her body while you fondle and lick each of her tits, even taking her nipple and areola into her mouth like an ice cream, until she gives into pleasure yet again.
“Daddy…” she groans. Your mind and body had missed that word leaving her mouth as she gasped for breath. In the last four years without her, you’ve been intimate with other women who called you the same name along with similar terms in varying terms and even shamelessly showed you that sense of submission, but you numbed yourself enough to admit that, until now, it hasn’t felt the same. And as much as this kink has empowered you in private moments like this, it sometimes bothered you. Being the younger one, even only by a year, in the relationship made you self-conscious then (and perhaps a little too much), but Xiaoting rarely saw the need for hierarchies in your relationship. Looking back, intimacy, quality time, and support were all what you both yearned for. She became dominant or submissive when she felt like it, when you felt like it. Luckily for you, her heart and body haven't forgotten this tantalizing gimmick either.
Whispering the words, “I’m your slut,” you’re reminded of your tantrum last night, filling you with guilt, you let your own emotions take over you. “Say it,” she smirks, wanting you to push yourself to the edge with no hesitation. “Or did you really have a lot of ‘em, that this is nothing to you?”
She was everything to you. “You’re my slut, Xiaoting,” you answer, even if it insinuates that you dominate her tonight. Even if you didn’t want it that way, this power play—that you either loathed or indulged in, the adrenaline coursing through your veins, not to mention your raging cock following suit. “Is that what you want?”
“Then put it in, daddy,” she hums, her posture slowly turning into an intimate model’s pose. It's in her field of expertise, after all, but it still gets you. “Use me,” she adds.
But instead of sliding in your cock like a primitive that you were, you fight through your lust and heartbreak for a moment. Like a sick maniac, you wanted her to “hurt,” but you want to do it another way. Even in her submission, it seems like she’s still in the lead the more she keeps leading this. So now, you do the opposite of what she wants from you. You want her to wait longer until she can finally get what she wants.
“Wha—?” she’s caught off guard as you stand up and push her down on the bed, with slight force even. She doesn’t resist, knowing that you’re also trying to retaliate, which heightens her inquisitiveness about how much you’ve learned, seeing you kneel down on the carpet. The same position she was in, you now take your turn to lean closer to her still dampened and clean-shaven cunt, spreading her folds open before you start licking her juices off like hot nectar. “What're you—augh, fuck! Mmmmgh!”
At a much grander view, you take a second to have a better look at her pink, wet pussy.
Sensing how her pleasure has stopped, Xiaoting rises from the bed to check on you in confusion, which turns to wonderment once she sees your face. Your anticipation. “Why'd you stop?”
You inch away a little, before changing your course to each of her inner thighs. Spreading her legs open, you give each a kiss, before you stick out your tongue to reach her groins, where you taste the saltiness from her fresh sweat and sweet traces of her fluids. “They taste good?” she snickers at your focus, reexamining her folds like a doctor. With your thumb, you massage her clit, extending her symphony of groans. “Soooooo… Good… Daddy… Auuuuh…”
You give one more smooch on her urethral opening, widening your mouth to reach her labia, before finally digging straight back on her vagina.
“Awwwwaaaauuuhhhhhh,” she cries, unable to maintain her composure amidst her layers of pleasure spreading throughout her body like waves of sexual energy. And similar to your reaction, her fingernails wrangle around your hair, encouraging you to keep on licking through her cunt. Her hands tugs and slightly pulls your hair the higher her pitches sound, but you manage to switch things up and transfer your tongue back to her clit. “Mmmmmmmmmmmffffufuu! Fuuuuck… Fuuuuck! Meeeee!”
A few more spasms from Xiaoting, and juices burst out of her folds, splattering straight across your left cheek, chin, and right hand. She didn’t warn you either, but that was expected in this game you're playing.
Now, it’s fair, you think to yourself, even if she finds it funny that you let yourself get soaked in her fluids. With a hint of both surprise and hunger, Xiaoting pounces on you, crashing her lips with yours, before parting to taste herself, sticking her tongue on your cheek like a sun bear and sliding it upwards until this side of your face is clean. She's always been a bold one, and that foreplay alone helps your member up and running in an instant.
At this point, you've tasted each other. Both parties are now lubed up for the next round, so you guide her into the middle of the bed, with her crawling backwards in a playful manner until she stops, allowing you to move closer.
Once you've reached her distance, her legs wrap around your waist, wanting to make sure that your shaft doesn’t exit her tightening cunt, or that you don't play more games to stall time. The thing is, you don’t want to let this experience, this rediscovery go way too fast either. But you will have to mix things up a little. You push her into a supine position before lying on the bed sideways next to her. “Turn around,” you command her, making her turn and face the other side while she hums in intrigue, which also conceals her slight disappointment of not being able to look you in the eyes while you ram her.
You lift her right leg in the air, a direction that she follows as she raises it on her own without you needing to say a word. You look down with your right hand sliding down on her back in a straight line—crossing her slim waist, trailing her ass, and reaching her cunt with your three digits latching on her folds akin to a fish hook. And as you rub her softly, you feel her juices dripping and squirting on your thumb, index, and middle fingers like raw honey, something that you are very much curious to taste, if she isn't getting more impatient right now with your cock.
“Ngggghhh, babe,” she whines with pleasure and irritation, nuzzling her head in yours and slowly scratching your wrist with her index fingernail like a purring cat. “Please…”
“Patience, slut,” you remind her of the place she's put for herself. One you're definitely going to take advantage of. The woman exhales a chuckle, realizing who's leading now. You take a deep breath, taking a careful look at her body before sliding your stiff cock inside Xiaoting's entrance with lesser roughness, thanks to your precum and smears of leftover seed.
You simply want to savor this reentry, as your throbbing cock has already made it halfway through her insides, stretching it while she wails with her lightheaded mind, struggling to mutter anything comprehensive while her walls tighten around your phallus. “Ngggggaaauuuggghhh… Shit, you…. Still—soooo—fucking—biiiig… Only… For… Me.”
You keep on thrusting deeper into her womb, your tip rubbing her cervix back and forth while she wails your name or ‘daddy’ in repeat, embracing the sense of helplessness and submission under your force. Every second passes, the woman’s growing moans persist even as her eyes roll to the back of her head, her sharp nails clawing into the comforter. Inching your arm below Xiaoting, your left hand hovers in front of her mouth, guiding her to latch her lips onto three of your fingers to muffle her own moans and treat your hand as a lollipop. Within ten seconds, her mouth salivates all over your fingers, slowly flowing and spreading down your palm while you two finally achieve synchronization with your continued thrusts.
With your right arm, you keep Xiaoting's leg raised while you amplify the pace and strength of your pumps inside her, from the fifth to tenth level. At the same moment, you miss her voice, prompting yourself to let go of her mouth and allowing Xiaoting to howl through her stimulation five times louder than before while she shivers on your cock. “I'm—fuck! It's close, daddy… I'm close!”
“Me—too, baby,” you gasp. You're too invested in your thrusts and blinded by pleasure to deepen your tone or scream at her with dominance. Feeling that build-up from your crotch to your shaft, you prefer that you both get what you want from this burning moment. “Just—uhhh—hold it in a little more.”
“Inside… me, dadd—fuck! I can't hold it anymore, hhnggghhhhnggghhhh…”
As you now approach your respective climaxes, you bust and free your seed within her womb, busting inside her with a roar—mixed with lust, fury, confusion, overstimulation, and love—that might’ve broken through the ceiling if you exerted a little more of your might, yet a major part of yourself doesn’t want to hurt Xiaoting when both of you are having the night of your lives. You have your buds to thank for. That you didn’t stay home or spent time anywhere else, where you wouldn’t have seen or even met her once again.
As soon as you pulled out of her, you didn't waste any more time with pillow talks or quippy exchanges. Missing her body more than ever, you also missed when you were pushing your own limits. “Stand up,” you order Xiaoting, yet your affectionate gestures juxtapose your domineering tone since you help her get off the bed regardless. “Wait here,” you add before getting up from the bed while you head straight to the bathroom with the door shut. Opening the wall cabinet above the sink, you reach a small box of condoms on the rightmost corner.
Still standing with her hands on her waist, Xiaoting turns to find your cock wrapped in the contraceptive, making her head tilt to the side. “You didn't have to do that…”
She has pills, you remind yourself, but you also know this is a different hole of hers that you're revisiting. Just looking at it and recalling the few times you've done it in the past makes your shaft stand up within seconds, much to her astonishment. Approaching Xiaoting, you turn her around without a word, giving her a teasing squeeze on her right ass cheek. “Auuhhhhhnnnggghh!” she squeals.
“Bend over,” you command her, yet her smile returns just hearing that phrase from you, anticipating your next direction. She misses this. Despite your anal avarice, you want to make sure she’s not too nervous. So you guide her while she slowly bends her body, still showing her flexibility with ease and little pain from her. From behind, you take a deep breath, before impaling her still tight asshole with your rod.
“Auuuuggghhh--fuck!” she yelps, instinctively arching her neck and back. Even with its seminal lubrication, your slow entry only consisted of a quarter of your whole member.
“You okay?” Your facade breaks through this concerning response, and she senses it. Somehow, you still manage to make yourself sound chivalrous, but you truly care for Xiaoting’s well-being, in this case being her comfort. She hasn’t done this in a while, and, of course, neither have you. She remembered how vanilla and romantic you were a few years back, but it's something that makes her adore you in a weird way.
“I’m okay, baby,” she assures you, her tone softening as she calls you more endearingly. At times, you used to lead yourself to think it's ‘infantilizing,’ being called that, but you couldn't be more wrong. You shake your head off these inner debates, slowly pushing a little more with caution, hoping she's not hurting. Unbeknownst to you, pain is only a small fraction of her current sensation. The discomfort is to be expected, but feeling your junior inside her other hole slowly brings tears to Xiaoting’s eyes out of excitement. “Mmmggghhh… Just—uhhh—keep going… Baaaaabe! Keep—nggghhh…”
And so you continue with another powered thrust. She bends further, helping you enter deeper and deeper inside her tightening tunnel. “Ting-ah…” you puff her name. “You can say when it hurts—”
“Stop only when you’ve reached your limit, daddy.” She tells you from the top of her lungs, and somehow that’s able to motivate you to keep going, slowly pushing more. Somehow, after all this time, she still trusts you.
And slowly, you start pushing your hips forwards and backwards as your manhood remains rock hard. “Nnngngngngngh…” she bites her lower lip, holding onto your arms. while her whines turn into bursts of moans and hollers the deeper you get.
“Slap… them, hmmm?” she asks you with a gasp, and you know exactly what she means. Giving into her tempting request right away, you slap her right ass cheek, but with a lower level. She laughs, in spite of her struggle down there.
“Harder! That’s what you want, right? You wanna… punish me… Punish me—forrr—nggghhh—leaving you!” her mocks mix in with tones of begging. Your sensitive conscience wants you to say no, and explain your years of despair without her, but your more dominant and lustful side was just testing the waters. You don't want to ruin this already tense mood. Her somewhat deriding yet heart wrenching response makes you audibly grunt, provoking you to retaliate with another wave of smack from your right hand, raising it up high above head level—much like a meteor straight from orbit—before descending once again at your ex-girlfriend’s right ass cheek, triggering moans that increase as you add in two more slaps. Such a series of impacts reverberates through her left cheek, making her tremble before you interlock her arms with yours to keep her from falling to the floor.
Her eyes widened, opening her mouth with a grin. “Yeeeeeeeesss!” she squeals louder, her deprived masochistic desire fulfilled within those short yet sufficient moments. “Fuck—yes! Ngh! More, please, hngghhh!” As a reward, she bends her ass a little more, tightening the tension between your member and her hole. But you push more, thrusting harder, making her breasts bounce and cheeks clap with every push and pull you're making together.
Her echoing approvals only makes you harder, so you add in three more slaps, inciting huffs and puffs of pleasure from her salivating mouth. Her ass cheeks have always been two of her memorable erogenous zones, and, strangely enough, you still think of yourself a sick fuck for finding pleasure in this—even if she herself finds it a lot more pleasurable.
As countless minutes of smacking, groaning, and moaning have passed, you keep thrusting in and out of Xiaoting’s asshole until it ends up on the same autopilot at the very second you feel that same pressure inside your bouncing balls, combined with the build-up rising through your thick cock.
“Ting-ah,” you try to warn her, but she turns her head to the right side to take one quick look at you, screaming the words, “In—side! Nowhere else—arasseo?” You know it’s not dangerous to do it, thanks of your condom, but you’ve always had the common courtesy to ask, because it’s her body, and now that she gives the signal—
Before you can give another thrust, your seed bursts and fills the condom to the brim, while the woman’s folds keep on squirting her juices on her unoccupied hole. Her body remains arched and her gaping mouth slowly closes in exhaustion, although you slowly help her lie back on the bed once your climax subsides. Much to your surprise, however, she pulls you in without warning, putting you off-balance as you land on top of her. Still, you manage to keep yourself from crushing her, thanks to your fingernails holding onto the mattress, supported by your flexing arms between her head.
While Xiaoting’s breathing eases up beneath you, she even takes the chance to caress your biceps with her fingers, making her hum out of curiosity.
How certain little things have changed since she left you, mostly improvements. Such a quick but bittersweet action, it even takes her smirk away in front of you, which you immediately notice. “Gwenchana?”
She nods softly, regaining her smile, now a softer, more assured one. “But, ummm… Be more gentle, Changmin-ah.” Mouthing your name, her shaky breath grabs your attention, as with everything she does—good and bad—when you first saw her again two days ago.
“O–of course,” you always stutter there, taken aback by her tender voice and request.
You take off your condom, throwing it far straight into the trash bin, right of the bed, before your eyes return to her. You can tell from her expression—she misses you. She wants to face you once again, even in her half-closed, thirsting and begging eyes. The night’s far from over. You raise her legs, placing them on the top of your shoulders. Gentle is what she asked, but she’s not against something new, position-wise. She would’ve stopped you by now, but her left palm simply rubs on your right cheek.
Her smile isn’t as mischievous compared to earlier, but her gaze remains desirous, and it falters for a second once you reenter her vagina with caution. Feeling yourself salivating towards her sultry face, you crash your lips onto hers, at the same time you push yourself inside her through bursts of thrusts. She battles you for dominance, which you now allow her tongue to dance with yours as your oral tango masks her moans the longer she relishes in the feeling of your cock twitching and hardening inside Xiaoting with every pound, while she titters at the sensation of her pussy getting stretched with her legs resting, dangling on your shoulders.
Your kiss persists the longer you explore her mouth, intoxicated by her smell and taste for the millionth time. Her legs shiver while both of you holler in ecstasy, forcing yourself to part your lips as your moans of indulgence echo through your mouths. This time, the pressure builds up a lot quicker in your genitals, syncing in with the accelerated pace of your heartbeats.
But neither of you care. This time, everything feels slower every time your eyes meet, every moment your souls mingle. You didn’t rush anything, all of your mind, heart, body are simply finding more spots and triggering more zones of pleasure, more than either of you can handle in this intense position.
“Tiiing-ah… I’m—Imma,” you groan with a pitch higher than before. Your pumps slow down, yet you give more strength into them. “Clooooo--close!”
“I need it—In…side, babe!” she gasps, her pitch cracking through the ceiling. Since last night, she told you she’s safe. You know she has pills in her room. “I need… you!” And with her final plea, there’s nothing stopping you.
You give a few more thrusts, ensuring the inevitable. As her arms hold around her legs and her legs around your neck tighten, your cock lets go of its pressure as you fire your seed inside her womb. You kiss her again with your starved tongue entangled with hers, embodying the mentality that you may never get another chance once the spice of this reunion cools down.
Eventually, you had to stop. You check the clock on the wall, and it’s past midnight. The rain has stopped for a while now, and from the view of your room’s window, some of your old college mates have since returned to the pool and bar. You walk back to the bed, your gaze inevitably catching your old flame slumbering like a princess, on the right side, most of herself wrapped inside the comforter. Her grand beauty alone puts a smile on your face, something that you can’t ever hate, though you could never hate Xiaoting for long. It makes you chuckle at how, after all this time, she remembers how to act all submissive towards you tonight.
And yet, as you’ve pondered, you’ve been just as, if not a lot more submissive towards her. You don’t know if you’ve done everything for her during your relationship. When nights were sleepless, you blamed yourself for not convincing her to stay or simply go after her, regardless of the risks it would’ve yielded for their respective personal lives.
She’s here—now wearing a robe that you took from the bathroom—and you want to cherish it while it lasts. Whatever this is. She still makes your heart beat faster than usual—but your mind’s just as afraid of thinking about her. About the painful past that happened. But you’re tired, and you want to sleep, especially with Xiaoting. Somehow, she feels you lying next to her, as she inches closer, placing her arms on your chest without opening her eyes or muttering a word.
Seeing her sleeping safe and sound, your thoughts calm down and close your eyes. You would’ve teared up a long time ago, but this is not a moment that’s worth your tears. Not worth your anger or grudge. It's as if all the negativity in your system was drained and out. Now, your heart cannot feel any more elated, euphoric, and grateful—to any divine presence that may be listening to your thoughts—that she’s here.
= = =
You slept through more rain and woke up on (hopefully) the last one for today, but the rays of the sun resurfaced by seven-thirty in the morning, which—through the room's windows—finally woke up Xiaoting from her post-coital slumber. “I brought tea.”
You hand her a mug of hot tea, courtesy of room service. Last night, neither of you drank your asses off, unlike last Friday at midnight, but you know that she’d still benefit from a little hangover drink. You’d think she almost hesitates to take it for a moment, but a part of her memory flashes back to the better days, soothing her heart and mind. “Gomawo.”
“The rain finally stopped, huh?” Ice breakers are far from your strongest suit, but you always do your best to keep a conversation going. Especially if it's with someone whose time you don't wanna waste.
“Yeah, it did…” But she'd take it over awkward silence or another series of yelling. Her hearing you in a more soft-spoken and casual manner is a breath of fresh air.
“Breakfast is already available downstairs, actually,” you bring up. “You can join up the rest of the earlier batch, if you want. I think they even got stir-fried beef and soup.”
“That's nice, but I’ll just join downstairs a little bit later.”
“I’ll head out,” you try to address her. “Get some air while you can clean yourself—”
“Aniya…” She senses your discomfort, but she isn't just gonna give up easily now. “Stay. With me, I mean… Just for a bit.”
“Arasseo,” you nod your head. Those words from her are something you've never said no to, and you're not going to change that now either.
She takes another sip of her mug in silence, but the clashing voices in your mind have been too unbearable for you to stay quiet for too long. You have to get it out of your chest… Before it's too late.
“I'm sorry for snapping at you the other night, Xiaoting... I know there’s no excuse for any of that. Regardless of what happened between us, I was still immature about it, too, like you said.”
“I'm sorry, too, Changmin... For leaving you without fighting, or even considering whatever we had. I’ve made such a mess of myself.”
“Well… I wish I could've fought for us too. I wish I could’ve followed you... It's cliché, but… I've thought about it. Followed you through that airp—”
“Aniya… You didn’t have to… You have a family here who cares about you. All your friends are here, too. This is where you live. I don't see why you'd do that for me—”
“Because I thought it'd be worth it,” you confess. A part of you still thinks that. “All those things you said about me might be true, but we never even got the chance to talk things through it, you know? You just, umm, didn't let me, remember?”
“I do remember…” Her toes and fingers curl, her hand forming into a fist. “Not a night goes by that I didn't think of that.”
Silence follows, but you make some progress once she opens her mouth once more.
“You know, back then, I was just transferred to our university... I was just some exchange student who managed to fit in easier than most students our age because of my looks, my skills, or whatever charms they may have seen in me. My parents got me there because it was prestigious and fancy, or however else they described our uni… But, they also knew that it would be temporary.”
“You know it's more than that,” you assure her. “You were more than that, Ting-ah. You lived a life here, too.”
“I liked to think that was the case.” She exhales a chuckle. “For a while, I felt free here. Even if a lot of people around me had often put me on a pedestal like some idol or a princess… There were times I managed to explore Seoul, Incheon, or Busan… And find something new about myself.”
“You deserved all those recognition, Xiaoting. You're a woman of many talents. You're like an all-rounder! The top of your class. I mean, you probably would've been a great idol if you wanted to be one…” You sigh to muster your courage. “Whatever career or passion you take, I never doubted your skills and abilities to achieve it.”
Your words accelerate her heartbeat. She takes a sip of her mug, but only to hide the smile on her blushing face. You, however, notice both her ears turning red.
“That's what I thought about, too… But then, I found myself falling in love the longer I stayed on campus… I mean, I met you there… And I don't care if you believe me or not, but you made me the happiest girl in the world. You treated, respected, and supported me like my closest friends… And more.”
“So have you… I mean, you made the happiest guy in the world,” you correct yourself. “Even in that one year, two months, and three weeks that we've had… It's something I’d always cherish. You made me feel like I wasn't invisible or unworthy of loving someone.”
As cheesy as your own words sound in your ears, Xiaoting feels a longer pang embedded in her heart, slowly clenching while it beats louder. That you've kept count of your time together. That a deep part of you still waited for the impossible. Waiting for what would've been just nothing.
“I would've stayed, Changmin-ah…” she almost stutters, even feeling her breathing stop and slow down for a moment. “I should’ve stayed with you... There were no excuses.”
You want to say that it's all right. That she had to make the decision she made, but now, it seems she's not even sure about her own choice. You're lost in words of reassurance. “Yeah… But we can't change the past now, can we?”
“No…” Xiaoting’s eyes darted on her half-empty mug, now cooled down. “No, we can't.”
Yet your remorse takes over, for making her feel like this. “I don't blame you, Xiaoting. I did, but I was a fuck-up. I mean now, I still am one, I'm just trying to do better by myself. And it makes things easier when you realize, there's just a lotta things that are just… Out of our control.”
“Yeah, but… I wasn't perfect either,” she insists. “And for all its worth, we worked with whatever we got, right?”
Your perception of her wants to say otherwise, that she was perfect, inside and out. “Yeah…” But you also know it's not the way to assure her. Deep inside, you loved her with her flaws and insecurities.
Still, she didn't want the conversation to end there. Simply because you’ve caught up with your past and reflected on your choices, she wants to steer this talk in a different direction before you think of walking away. “So, umm… How are you doing these days, by the way?”
“Oh, you know… Nothing special.” You go along. “Most of the time, I'm just doing this task and that project at my desk… I also do some field work at the mall or elsewhere, only whenever I get lucky enough. But these days, I'm just… stuck at the office with planning and all of the marketing crap.”
Your response lightens her up, and no matter how trivial your ‘blabber’ sounds, her attention to you doesn't wane. “Oh… Hopefully, it's not always a daily grind, ‘cause that'll make you lose a lot of sleep. Or drive you insane.”
“I’m afraid that's the case with me for this season… But I often hang out with friends after work, so that's an upside… If not, I'll just stay at home all night.”
“Well, I'm glad you're still stuck with your closest buds. I know I've only met them a few times, but they honestly seem like they're also doing well…”
You chuckle, remembering your last talk with them earlier this morning. “All things considered, they are… They thought you were bad news.”
“Which makes them good friends,” she argues playfully, breaking the tension that was building up in your heart when it intended to defend her. You used to believe them, but you weren't the perfect boyfriend to her either. “And by the way, you better get out more often. It's not healthy to stay home all the time.”
You recognize the shift in her tone. That caring and motherly cadence which captivated you. And yet, as someone who recently tried to follow a consistent diet, that also struck a nerve in your ego. “Yah… I hit the gym two to three times a week—”
She laughs at your defensive retort, not even dismissing your claim. She did feel your muscles the whole night, after all. “That’s not what I meant! I mean, just like exploring the city or whatever. Bring your friends or family somewhere... Or travel alone, that'd also be a nice routine.”
“In this rainy season?” you raise an eyebrow, but in her words starts to genuinely come off as good advice.
“You know what I mean,” she answers you with a slight pout. “Obviously not now, but maybe you can start going to the mall more as a customer, if you don't know where to start…”
“Sure, sure. I'll keep that in mind,” you snicker, just in time for the heightened interest in your talk makes you more curious about her life. Just thinking about the possibilities makes you uneasy or reserved, but you'd rather hear her own current whereabouts leave her lips. Before this reunion, you've only heard or seen of how and where Xiaoting has been through mutual friends or through TikTok or Naver, but nothing more than that. “And, ummm, speaking of work, again, I also hope things are going well in Sichuan.” You scratch your head. “I heard you’re working with idols’ choreos now, too.” At times, you weren't even sure if it was her you saw.
“Pfft… That was nothing big,” she tries to remain humble. “It was like a one, two, three-time collaboration. On most days, we’re either teaching students, filming socials, attending workshops, or practicing at the company building all day like anybody else.”
“Sounds like you've been on the daily grind yourself,” you let out a snicker. “I hope you've been getting enough rest.”
She realizes how you returned those words to her. “Pretty much… That's why I was hoping you'd have a more different work lifestyle than mine!” she whines, before her realization makes her sigh. “I'm still trying to adjust myself to a new one.”
“I've gotten used to mine, so don't worry… And I'm sure you did amazing, considering your credentials... In no time, I bet you'll be as big as Aiki or Bada, or no:ze, or Leejung—”
“You just had to mention some of the standout ones…” Her eyes squint at you, frowning in disappointment. “And they're Korean.”
“I'm just saying you can be as big as them,” you shrug. “Maybe you even are—”
“I'm not—”
“Plus, I don't know any other names of Chinese dancers other than you, and I'm not counting idols, so maybe it's enough that I know the best one?”
She shakes her head, annoyed, touched and flattered, all at the same time. It's been long since you've had a talk this casual and simple, it eases your mind, freeing yourselves from the stresses and worries of adulting. Ironically, by venting out it with each other.
“Whatever.” She fixes some of her disheveled hair to the side of her right ear, right before inching her hand to put the mug on the nightstand, which you, of course, help place. “To be honest, it’s been quite wonderful back home, for better and worse… But things were far from perfect. Or easy, really... I, uh, had moments of doubt and conflicts of my own from time to time. It made me think if it was all worth it…”
As worry clouds your mind, you place your palm on top of hers, which she appreciates from her smile. You didn't know what to say, but you also read it from her eyes; your touch feels enough to sympathize with her at this moment. Even in your time knowing and being with her, she experienced her fair share of obsessors, sickos, and haters who tried to mess with her, even before you were a thing. It hurts that you couldn't even do anything, imagining how she's facing such obstacles by herself.
“And because of that… I decided to take a big career risk, not too long ago.”
“I hope it paid off…” Hearing your optimism only makes her tighten her hold of your hand. “It rarely happens when folks are in their late twenties, but I'm happy for you.”
“Yeah…” she chuckles, before continuing to share her experience. “Well… About a week ago, I actually took a new job and got myself relocated to a place in Seongnam. It's a far better pay than my last position at Beijing, surprisingly enough, but I got more oppor—”
“Seong…nam..?” Your speech slows down, but your heartbeat begins to quicken in pace. “That means—”
“I’m here, Changmin… And I’m—I’m not going anywhere.” At this moment, Shen Xiaoting’s giving you something to believe in. Chance. Hope. A new beginning. It’s up to you. Your mind goes blank, free of rage, anxiety, and hesitations, but you feel the next best thing that is screaming deep in your chest. Singing for her warm touch. She tries to hide her smile, not wanting to lead herself to a sense of false hope. “And I know that it's too much to ask… But if you want to start over—”
“Start over?” you repeat those words, making sure you didn't mishear her.
She stares at you with a slow nod, waiting, the surface of her gaze mixed with regret and wariness. Yet, the longer and deeper you look through her soul, there’s hope and longing for the unknown future. One that you'll be able to face together again.
“I’d like it, more than anything else,” you tell Xiaoting right as you walk closer, cupping her chin to give her the best reassuring gesture you know. A passionate kiss, which both of you melts into, along with your own fears and worries, embracing this moment with such a passionate love that has never left your heart. She wraps her arms around your neck, and yours around her waist, deepening the kiss.
You feel your eyes getting watery, and as you open them once your lips part, Xiaoting notices you tearing up. Yet, sadness is not the dominant emotion that’s triggered this moment. It's joy and gratitude coursing through your veins. It's love, as simple as it is.
She holds you tighter, allowing you to weep with joy on her shoulder while she pats your back. Tears also begin to drop and then pour from her eyes, but she doesn't mind them. You have each other to confide and console in.
You sniff your last tear, before leveling your gaze with her. “I--I promise I won’t mess this up, noona.”
Her smile widens, even while her eyes continue to water with exhilaration. “I thought you didn’t like calling me that.”
“I didn’t hate it.” The emphasis on your delivery sounded defensive, but that realization only makes her giggle more. It was a long time, after all. “It's just something that I really wished I'd call you more often, you know?”
“Hmmm…” She rests her forehead on yours, both of you closing your eyes to savor and cherish this breakthrough. “Don't worry, babe… We both have a lot to make up for.”
“I couldn't agree more, Ting-noona.”
“Then… Maybe you can prove… Or show it now,” Xiaoting whispers under her breath, gently massaging your thighs. “—If you'd like.
Following your heart more than ever, you look down and cup her cheeks, leaning closer to her lips again and kissing her, as she had hoped. Feeling the fluttering in your hearts, she wraps her arms around your neck, pulling you back down with her on the bed while you explore each other's bodies in broad daylight. It's a plus you're both only one fabric away from undressing yourselves, which you do so now. She takes off her robe and panties within two seconds, while you strip your shirt and underwear off in three.
Xiaoting pushes you in a supine position. Up close, her thick, white thighs make your mouth water the longer you stare at them like they're shimmering bright as the sun kisses her skin.
“You can give ‘em a little nibble, if you want,” she whispers.
With her permission, you stretch your neck and proceed to kiss each of her thighs again, leaving each side a lick, like a parched wild animal.
She giggles, your irresistible, ticklish gestures slowly sending shivers up her spine. “You've always been such a good boy to me, haven't you?”
This morning, the tables have turned, and you wouldn't love it any other way.
“Uh-huh,” you nod at her slowly, with your limbs a little tense because of the excitement building up in your system. “I mean, I tried my best…”
“Shhhh…” And with her index finger on your lips, she gives you another surprise by inching herself and straddling on your hips. “Just stay calm…” Kneeling between your body, she stretches down and leans into your right ear, whispering “And let me love you hard, Changmin-ah.” as she prepares you for the main event.
Xiaoting gives your ear cartilage a little nibble before she gets up on you like a cowgirl on a stallion, and with her on to dominate you for the first time, she holds your hard rock member, expertly aligning it with her entrance. The entry was a little more ragged, but she sits on it with her muffled moans, indulging in each time her walls tighten or loosen the more she impales herself with your raging cock.
“How are you still—so tight?” you tease her, helping her inch your own penis deeper inside her clenching canal.
“Nggghhhh…” She opens her legs a little wider, still pushing in halfway through your whole thing, while also being able to inflate your ego at the same time. “Oh, you know… A lot of stretching… I've been trying out, uhh, new workouts. Fuck, you're so—thick, and long… Baby!”
And with all your manhood now inside her, the woman begins her thrusts, subconsciously applying her flexibility and coordination. Both of your hands interlocked with one another, like it's her leash, holding onto you the more your unified movement gets bumpier. She arches her back for a second, the electrifying pleasure making her roll her eyes to the side and stick her tongue out while you place your hands on her waist for balance. As minutes pass, she inches closer to see your face, immediately crashing her lips on yours, igniting another passionate makeout session that you simply can't deny. You are way too lightheaded and far too invigorated at her moans in your mouth to complain at the moment. Yet you still have to push through in order to tell her. “Ting… Ting, ugggghhhhhh, fuck! I'm fuck—ing… Close… Nooooooonaaa…”
“I'm—Imma…” her breath runs short, but the overall stimulation across her most sensitive zones has just reached beyond its highest levels. “Aungghh… Babe, I'm fucking safe!”
You bust your seed inside Xiaoting, as she follows a millisecond after yours, attaining the highest level of euphoria throughout your bodies for the night, higher than any of your previous rounds. Your moans come to a halt, its volume slowly descending while you find yourselves in a heavenly peak.
Within a minute of heaving in silence, your climax subsides as your breathing restores to normal. In this peaceful afterglow, your mind has never been clearer. The longer you listen to the same growing rhythm, it's becoming more and more definite about what your heart has been telling you. What you should've told her for a long time.
“I love you…” you mutter those words in unison, it even leaves you both surprised, in the best kind. “Jinx!” she murmurs with a giggle. Left with a gleaming smile on her face, she nuzzles and lies on your chest, allowing yourselves to simmer and savor this moment for a short while.
“Come on,” you say as you fix her messy hair and kiss her forehead. “I hope we're not too late for breakfast.”
“I thought we just had one?” she counters with a sarcastic and gullible tone, while she moves herself off you.
“You fox! Not like that.” you both laugh at her joke, still holding onto each other tenderly just as you sit on the bed with your legs crossed.
About half an hour later, you made it just in time for the continuation of the reunion activities. Now washed up in new clothes and soaked in perfume, you reunite with your friends at the guesthouse restaurant, getting yourselves a long sandwich and a hearty dessert for breakfast. It honestly surprises you that they even came back after leaving for their own out-of-town trip, but you're truly glad they're back, safe and sound.
From the other side of the crowd, you find her, wearing a new outfit, with her hair tied up. Since you parted ways outside your room, she met up with her friends, whom you are also familiar with in the past two days, as they also catch up with her through small talks and conversations. The second she catches your eyes, you two cannot help but exchange smiles while the crowd listens to the hosts. The first morning activity is something they call “strangers get-together.”
Of course, not everyone was comfortable with the concept, preferring to hang out with their close friends, their phones, or both. Without disrespecting the event planners, they thought it was forced, oversentimental, or too cheesy, which you probably would've thought of as well, if this happened a day ago. Mind you, they also paid to be a part of this two-day and three-night event, but it's not a requirement to participate in all of the stuff they prepared, so it's whatever. Who are you to judge?
“You going somewhere, man?” One of your friends, Jungwoo, notices you looking at the greenery through the wide, glassless window, just three seconds before you even stand up from your seat. You put your phone in your pocket.
Your three buddies wanted to sit down inside the restaurant to rest for a bit, maybe wait until the next activity, just like with a few more like-minded alumni sitting on the table next to theirs, yet most of them are trapped within their social bubbles, distracting themselves with reels or simply texting.
“Uh, yeah…” you chuckle. “I'll just get some air outside, you know? I've been inside my room the whole night...”
“Come on, dude! We just got here,” your other friend, Joonki, whines at your sudden decision. “Don't tell me you had fun without us.”
“I'm pretty sure that was you guys,” you shoot back with a monotone delivery, inciting both laughter or surprise from them. “I’m kidding!” You break into laughter. “But, no really, I'll catch up with y’all in a bit. Just text me if something’s up, aight? Kalke!”
You stride through the restaurant’s door, leaving your friends with a sense of intrigue.
“He’s gonna meet up with Xiaoting-sunbae, isn't he?” Hanbin points his left thumb at the door.
“What makes you say that?” Joonki raises his eyebrow. Beside him, Jungwoo only lets out a snicker before taking a sip of his cup of coffee.
No matter how brief this moment will be compared to last night, it is something you didn't want to take for granted, let alone the fact that you won't have any other good occasion to spend your whole weekend once the reunion is done. And still, you think again, and well, you cannot be any more wrong.
You find her sitting at a nearby gazebo. Her hair's down. Phone's in her hand, but she's not using it. Her head's only looking around until your eyes meet. “Hey.”
She stands up, immediately walking up to you with her memorable introverted anticipation. Breathtaking, as always, you think. “Hey!”
You take her hand. “I hope I didn't keep you waiting, noona.”
“Gwenchana…” she coos, rubbing your right hand with her palm. “You didn't.”
“So… Do you wanna do this 'strangers get-together' thing, or maybe you've already prepared a whole new set of questions for me?”
She laughs at your little impromptu ice-breaker. “Yah… I'm sure you just have as many questions for me as you have.”
Like last time, you stroll through the garden, but unlike last time, you relish and relax in your own voices, cherishing pauses of silence to be with nature while you make up for lost time. Around you, you cross paths with some of the alumni taking pictures of the beautiful morning dew. A small kaleidoscope of butterflies make their way onto flowers, basking under the sun. Most of them are couples, closest friends, or even affairs, but they're none of your business.
Along with the fresh air and foliage, you and Xiaoting simply take in and reminisce about the most blossoming moments of your relationship, while also embracing the hardships and heartbreaks you've both experienced along the way. And as your paths cross once again, you both know you're bound to make new ones.
With her fingers interlocked with yours, you realize, you don't regret coming here. Not one bit. Maybe the way you initially behaved, but you're more than grateful for how it turned out. Because it brought you a miracle back into your life. For as long as your heart beats, this woman is someone who, from now on, you will never let go of, and unbeknownst to you, neither will she.
= = =
This is just a long-ass yap session here, so you can just skip to the end, if you want. anyways, I've always wanted to write a kep1er fic. I actually have written a few before I started posting here, but I never got to finish them. still, I really love them as artists, I was so glad when they extended their contracts. yeshiro leaving sucked, though, but I wish all of them the best.
Originally, because of the recent waterbomb, I wanted to write either youngeun or chaehyun (aka my biases), but I decided to try writing a fic about xiaoting first instead. there are already great works that I've read here, but I have pushed myself to make this because there's rarely, if not no fic that has the male oc or reader as slightly younger than xiaoting. yeah, I know, that's one reason why I wrote this lol. also, shoutout to octoberautumnbox's yujin fic, The Cute and Caring Noona from Apartment 424. it's pretty popular by now, but it has always been one of my favs, so I think it's worth revisiting. there's also nsfwmaemi (aka maemisnippets)'s Xiaoting fic, The Grind Never Stops, but I just found now they've deactivated. There still reblogs of it here, so you can check 'em out, if you haven't. There are also ones by ggidolsmuts, thelibrarian69, gangplanksorenji, capslocked, and others that I may have missed, but you can look 'em up on their blogs. amazing writers.
now that I think about it, this fic is similar to my other ones in terms of the structure, but I still like how this one turned out, flaws and all. I'll keep doing my best to cook up something more different in the future. in other news, I'll regain my focus on my tripleS fics after this, which I should've been doing for a while since they're priority #1, but you know, I don't have a def sched on this.
Okay, the yapping stops here. As always, big thanks for reading and I hope y'all have an overall safe, healthy, and wonderful day. 'til next fic. 💜
