The idea was brilliant, and probably something she would have come up with if he didn’t. After he hit record on the camera, she watched him walk out of the room with a smile on her face. As soon as the door closed, it slipped her mind that she was technically being watched. Did it matter though? The only person that might see this in ten years would be her, right? So instead of trying to cheer up with her usual smile, she just sat there thinking and staring at her balled fists in her lap.
A speech was prepared for this. It was filled with uplifting words about how great the school was. It was filled with love for all of the people in it, but she decided to leave the finished speech in the capsule along with this confession. Sighing, she looked up at the camera and started, “Everyone is hurting right now. You can feel it in the halls as you walk by students that are clearly missing their best friends. It radiates off of every single staff member, yet there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it.”
Her eyes are starting to look more like glass as tears threatened to fall, so she stopped talking to catch her breath first before continuing. “You are not their hero even though you try to be. The only thing you’ve been able to do is stick bandages on their wounds.” This sort of negativity was normally kept in a journal to be burned away, she only wanted to bring light to people’s lives. Watching him walk out, she broke down inside and all of her sadness kept leaking through.
“And it’s so selfish to think only of him, isn’t it? To feel heartbreak so deep in your body over something you can’t even pretend to understand.” She looks up as she continues speaking, knowing any second those tears would fall now that she’s talking about him. “It hurts…” Talia’s fist moved to cover her heart, “everything does. It can’t hurt forever, so I hope you’ve stayed positive. I hope you’ve grown, and hope you continue to grow. I promise I am trying not to let this wither me.”
When she finally looked down, the tears broke their invisible barrier and fell down her cheeks. Talia said nothing more, she just stood up and looked at the only door out of the room. The one where he’d be waiting. Instead of walking toward the exit, she looked at the camera and offered a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes before she approached it and switched off the recording.
Talia stayed in there for five more minutes, hoping her face and eyes weren’t puffy from crying. Then she walked out of the room with a bigger smile on her face hoping he might ignore her eyes.
