#xinyu fluff

[monkebearness]

Our Story, Like a Romance Novel [Chapter 5: Transit Love]

Zhou Xinyu (tripleS) x Male Reader (OC)

Chapter 0, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 6

Tags: fluff, smut, angst, coming-of-age, slice of life, romance

Word count: 31.2k

a/n: it's been a while, but this is a long one. yes, the chapter will have smut, but I am not gonna specify much on all the tags. I did my best to balance it with lots of fluff and obligatory angst and drama, lmao. one more chapter will follow up after this one, but for now, read at your own risk, take your time reading (lol), and I hope you like it...

He could only hear himself huffing and puffing through the fresh air of the park’s path, feeling his own shivering and bouncing while both legs took him in a straight direction, passing through the same borders of foliage and rows of benches about three times now. The whole place isn’t as wide as the ones near Han River, but it’s enough for him to take this park to his advantage, thanks to a fifteen-minute bus ride—or a slightly longer walk.

With every path he crossed, memories in the last couple of months would play back on each of the spots familiar to him. Xinyu’s thoughtful looks. Her smile, her giggles when either of them makes closer contact. Her laughter whenever he made an awkward joke. Her eyes frequently stealing a glance towards him. Her variety of natural and, without a doubt, expensive scents. Her hands sliding over him like a fabric. The texture of her lips, their taste once they crashed onto his. Those memories were like music to him, he didn’t even feel the need to play anything on his wired earphones or even pull out his phone to begin with. The chirps of birds and crickets and the rustling wind were enough to hear.

He wouldn’t be here, in this park, willingly exhausting himself and training his stamina on a cold and dim summer morning if it wasn’t for one wonderful woman, Zhou Xinyu. Luck or blessing couldn’t even describe the state he was living in at this point, which he only thought was possible on dramas, or anyone who wasn’t him or living a life like his.

But while his racing heart and shivering legs were soothed by his memories with her, the darkness continued to linger around his peripherals. Whatever it was, whatever they fill his thoughts with, it just seemed inescapable within his mind. Can there be too much of a good thing? Especially in a situation like this, he didn’t know how to answer. And yet, before he could fall into this trap, Junghoon would feel a moderate pressure building up in his eardrums, sensing a familiar noise from above. It prompted him to stop his tracks, turn around, and look up, almost forgetting the shortness of his breath for one moment. Initially struggling to take control of his own respiration, until the scene right in front of his eyes slowed and calmed everything in his system, while the noise had also shrunken. His insides kept on burning with determination, his heartbeat still thumping in his ears.

An airplane soared through the blue dawn sky, leaving a trail of white smoke. Giving the sight a long gaze with a wistful smile, Junghoon looked down on the pavement for about four seconds, placing his right hand on his stomach with his left on his one knee, feeling an oblique outline on his upper abdomen. Signs of progress, he realized and chuckled in disbelief. Assured by the new discovery, he took a deeper breath before straightening his back and staring into the long distance, speeding up the pace of his stride till it returned to a jog. Despite his ragged breathing, the man managed to maintain his focus, inhaling through his nose, motivated by stifling reminders and thorny memories, which pushed himself into pursuing this arduous and vigorous situation—this routine—to begin with.

=

In the four weeks that followed, they had reached their first month as a couple. In Junghoon’s mind, it was mainly sunshines, rainbows, daisies, and daffodils that shined, blossomed, and dispersed all over their days. The comfort of the summer breeze and the warmths of the fresh couple prevailed throughout their nights. He never admitted it, but it was something he hasn’t felt in years. Being around friends and family felt enough for him. But this—it's a far different experience, one he has never gone through before this. The only lingering complaint he had was how everything just seemed to happen so fast. From their college’s festival week, the confession, Xinyu’s birthday—up until this point.

“Happy birthday, grandson,” his grandmother, Byeolyi, was the first to greet him from the living room once he descended the stairs and turned his head to the dining table.

Junghoon rubbed the last of his rheum off his eyes, looking at the table. “Halmeoni…”

Three celebrations within a day? It gave him the best birthday he could have in a while.

That Saturday, Junghoon spent the morning at home with his grandmother, gobbling on a warm bowl of seaweed soup and a plate of japchae that she cooked for him a couple of hours before he woke up. He insisted that she didn't have to do anything out of his own concern for her, but the man did not want to deny how much her act warmed his heart.

“I didn't cook much, because I want you to spend it with your friends today, arasseo?”

Of course, the wise woman knew that was the case, having handed him some cash that he couldn’t decline, even though he did about three times before giving in. It made this day more worthwhile, especially with what followed afterwards.

“You've surprised us more and more, dude!” Honggi cheered as he dug into the chicken bucket. He would spend the first half of the afternoon with the usual gang. All four of his friends were more than delighted to meet and have lunch outside so they could celebrate his mim elevation as a twenty-year-old instead of spending the day working or studying.

“Yah… You didn't even treat us to lunch when you had your birthday this year!” Kotone jeered at him while he was munching on the snow cheese-coated drumstick on his hand.

“Hey, I did!” Honggi argued back while chewing, not letting the slander on his efforts slide. “I got you guys some of that… dessert… from the bakery. When it first opened!”

“It's not the same as a whole meal,” Myungsoo took her side while taking a sip of his cup of lime soda. With a snicker, Kotone expressed her smile as she swiftly munched on the mat-gamja bowl, throwing five whole pieces of the puffed fried potato into her mouth.

“And besides,” Kotone teased, raising her smile and eyebrows for Junghoon to notice. “It’s not like he’ll celebrate his birthday with just us… Right, Junghoon-ie?”

Compared to their celebratory past meetups, it wasn’t anything usual, but it was still special. Not long after, he would also get a lot of calls and texts from the Mad Money Club. Each of the girls expressed their own disappointment for not being able to meet and celebrate with him in real time. Most of them were just as bummed up since they couldn’t even celebrate Nien’s birthday the next day considering it was a Sunday, but a humble Junghoon knew it would have been the case, comforting and thanking them for making time to call him regardless. Most of his mind had actually hoped, while his heart somewhat was already overwhelmed with their appreciative greetings from their screen.

“Noona…” But now, he’s found himself in another restaurant. One that’s cozier and a lot less “fast food-like” compared to the place he dined earlier that afternoon with his gang. “This is, I don't know how I can repay—”

Xinyu was sitting right next to him, not on the seat in front of him as she was taken aback by his flabbergasted reaction. “That’s not what I expected you to say, babe…”

But for him, it was third times the charm, as they would often describe this scenario.

“No it's just…” He picked up a spoon from the table with a sudden chuckle. “Daebak.”

With her widening smile, Xinyu’s eyes remained squinted. “Don't hesitate to eat up…”

At this point, he knew he was overwhelmed with blessings, ones he didn’t question on whether he deserved them or not. “I don't think I can have this much.” He was simply processing this moment in real time, reminiscing the time she invited him for a more private, calmer celebration on the night of her birthday, hours after their club’s meet.

“Why not?” she whined softly, rubbing his right wrist, although she listened on to him.

“Well, umm… I ate a lot a few hours ago,” he admitted, recalling his earlier celebration with his closest friends. He delivered with some guilt in his delivery, as he was touched by her surprise dinner with him here in Keuri-go, the small town they’ve been exploring even before their first dates, before they realized the affection they’ve had for each other.

Xinyu's mouth gaped and her eyes widened in realization, her lower lip curling as her upper teeth bit it. “Oh… Maja, maja… You did mention it in the text. Of course!” She chuckled, lightening up the mood for him. “Silly me, Junghoon-ie.”

“You two are seeing each other?” the server, an old woman let out a laugh, one that could brighten her customers’ days. “Make sure you save some for your girlfriend.”

“Ahjumma, he rarely touches his meal!” Xinyu immediately corrected the server with a playful tone, holding in any traces of her more confrontational approach, as Junghoon was feeling. Showing a polite smile, the young man himself gently caressed her wrists. “He even kept giving them to me, even if it's his birthday.”

“Oh, really? Mianhae, dear… He is a keeper, all right,” the woman bowed to them with a smile on her lip’s right corner, giving a gentle few taps on Junghoon's back once she left. “Saengil chukhahaeyo…”

That’s when he realized, it didn’t matter that he already celebrated with his close friends and grandmother. There is nothing to complain about. She had nothing to apologize for.

“Kamsahamnida…” Another moment for him to cherish, Junghoon encouraged himself to take a medium-sized bite of the steaming pork bun from the platter she just placed on their table. The warm savory taste in his tongue immediately made his eyes light up with satisfaction. With urgency, he turned his head to face Xinyu, who just took a slurp of her bowl of lamian. “You should really try this bun, noona!” His enthusiasm cheered her up, particularly with his shrewd curiosity towards figuring out the ingredients of each order.

“He ain’t bad, ahjumma…” another server mumbled, watching the lovey-dovey couple two tables away from him and his employer. “Maybe he’s loosening himself a little.”

Hearing the older man’s comment, the meaning of such a traditionally stigmatized or frowned thought deflected into his brain, giving it more of a positive spin, if it was not already one. “It might not be a bad idea,” he considered, right as he swallowed his bite.

Xinyu cooed him, caressing the back of his head, before it slid down to his right cheek. “I don't need you to change yourself for me, babe,” she whispered. “You're enough for me… You and your gourmet expertise, hihi… But whatever makes you happy…”

She caught a peck on his lips, closing her eyes to cherish this sweet sensation as they both hoped for it to last longer, if they weren’t so focused on their scrumptious meal. “I'll be supporting you, hmm?”

He felt his heart weighing more at her words, but he didn’t know if that was a good thing or not. He thought maybe he should’ve eaten less. But his mind mirrored her sentiment, perhaps before the words had left her lips. “As do I with you, noona… Gowamo.”

After caressing his cheek, she took another and much larger bite of her own pork bun with delight, actively imagining how simple yet delicate Junghoon described the sweet and savory pork buns just earlier. “If it makes you feel any better,” she whispered right  before swallowing another big bite. “I’m also gonna have to move my second cheat day tomorrow because of Nien’s party.”

His mouth slowly opened with a nod. “You guys will be planning a party for Nien-ssi?”

“Girls,” she corrected him with a chuckle. “It’ll be just us girls. It’s a girls’ night thing. Hope that's all right with you…”

“No, no! Not at all, noona.” She's become a little more clingier since they “leveled up,” but they had their own time allocated for their own lives, too. He's always known that. “But, will y'all just be limited to the club?”

“Not necessarily. We're actually considering if Tone and the Diamond Dreamers would want to come with us, since she's also not too far away from where we're hanging out.”

“Oh, she’d love that,” he responded with a cheerier tone. “That's probably what she needs to hang out with her girlfriends a little more than, y’know… Just us guys.”

She chuckled at his concern, returning her right hand on his. “Don't you worry about a thing, babe... We'll take care of her, alright? Now, let's just take our minds off everyone else and celebrate your special day while I still can…”

“You know I'm not going anywhere,” he assured the woman, only making her chuckle.

Both of them took leftovers home. In the weeks and months that followed, dates and meets like these were occasions they’ve planned every once or twice in a weekend. In Xinyu’s case, she would ask him out almost on a whim.

Either starting with a text, a call, or during their unfiltered conversations, the woman would simply rub his shoulder or tap his arm in her coyish tone right as she muttered the question, “Junghoon-ie… Are you free today?” or any variation of it.

Not that he felt pressured to answer her almost every time. She would be the first to take initiative, but she was always considerate. He told her about his schedule day to day and week after week, and she’s had no problem with adjusting her own plans to be with him.

“I think I am… I mean, of course, I am free. Do you need help with anything, noona?”

Her responses would vary, but never has it ended in a rejection, only some rain checks.

Junghoon, on the other hand, would plan things for half a week before he could ask her. He is not one to fear rejection, even though overthinking has gotten him to that point. It was an aspect in his personality he knew he needed to improve upon, even if he’s gotten lucky in the relationship lottery with this goddess of a woman. Contrary to Xinyu, who’d simply bring up invitations after an unrelated subject, the man would often find himself escaping the bushes of their talk. Their meetups started out in Keuri-go and at his home, but they tested the waters in other places. For starters, their campus would’ve been their most ideal place to meet due to its varying spots and locales, but neither of them wanted the risk. “So, umm, speaking of Han River Park… Would you like to go with—”

“Wherever it is, it’s a yes, Junghoon. Just tell me when you wanna meet, mmm?”

Thankfully for him, he got himself a girlfriend who rarely said no to his invitations, even though she's more frequent with taking him outside or after classes. Whenever they met at a certain spot or area, either of them would either bring something to the other, a gift in varying shapes and forms. As time had progressed, however, Junghoon would start to invite Xinyu to hang out at their house more and more often. Considering the tightening schedule of the weekdays, the man pushed himself into inviting her in the first few days, a gesture that, unbeknownst to him, has always touched her with how attentive he was.

“I’ll hang out with the ladies for the whole day,” his grandmother informed him from the entryway next to the shoe rack, having suited up in her purple puffer jacket and slacks, holding onto the handle of the shopping cart on her left hand and a visor on her right, ready to be worn once her skin would face the burning kiss of the sun outside.

This look was nothing new to Junghoon. She’s always worn those in the last three years whenever he’s traveling out of town, but that wasn’t his problem. “Are you sure you’ll be okay when—”

“Kid…” she tried getting her tone to his level, more compassionate, but added with more conviction. “We’ve been doing this long before you moved in… I’ll be all right! Just make sure you make your lovely guest feel more at home, all right?”

Xinyu looked down with a giddy smile at the older woman’s remark, stealing at glance at Junghoon right beside her. The only thing that was missing was her blushing, like usual, but she can be quite good at hiding it.

“Just…” He knew he couldn’t stop her, regardless of his concern. “Be careful, okay.”

“You know I always will, sweetheart. I’ll be going then. I won’t be home ‘til tonight, so both of you will have to be responsible for most of this whole house, okay?”

“Ne! Take care, halmeoni!” Xinyu gave her a low, respectful bow, waving her farewell until the older woman exited the door with her belongings before Junghoon closed it.

Another situation that he’s found himself fortunate or unfortunate was how often his grandmother had started to leave town with some of their close neighbors frequently, perhaps in the last three years. He didn’t know whether to feel concerned as usual or somewhat proud that she had been going outside with them during the weekends. If loving someone meant letting them go for a while, that’s what he had to do. Besides, Junghoon has another woman, one he had to be with. One he’s wanted to entertain since their hearts openly started beating for each other.

“Are you worried about your grandmother?” she asked him with her gentle cadence.

The young man had his fingers entangled, but she took his right hand, placing it on hers. “I know I shouldn’t be… She hasn’t experienced anything serious since last time.”

“I’m sure her friends will always be there to assist her… You said they’re already aware of her medical history… And that they’ve been friends long before you went to college.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he chuckled nervously. “Mianhae… And I don’t want to ruin the mood.”

“Babe…” she shook her head. Even her simple gesture kept mesmerizing Junghoon. “You’re not ruining anything, because y’know, you care about someone dear to you.”

He tangled his fingers with hers. “I know… But, thank you for understanding, noona.”

“It’s the least I can do. Soooooo… Just let me help you relax this weekend… Hmmm?”

“I thought I was supposed to help you destress before your first week of internship?”

The woman giggled at his question. Touché, she thought. “We can… Take turns, then?”

In the next couple of hours, the living room of Junghoon’s residence would mostly be echoed with mumbles and laughter between them, combined with sounds leaving the speakers of the six-year-old second-hand flat screen television. It was thanks to Xinyu logging in one of her streaming service accounts that they were able to get some access to a plethora, ones Junghoon could only previously have access to either at the theater, borrow Kotone or Honggi’s account, or more commonly, sail the high seas on the web.

Unfortunately for him, they had only reached an hour into their second watch, and this one has yet to spark Junghoon’s interest. Not because it was old, but he just never quite got into it. Not even when he was little. Certain elements such as magic and fantasy were things he wasn’t too fond of.

Of course, Xinyu eventually saw that on his face, prompting her to pause the movie with the remote, much to Junghoon’s confusion. “Are you not feeling the movie now, babe?”

“No!” He turned his head to her in an instant, alarmed by her question. “I mean, it’s just, I think I’m not the demographic for this…kind of film? Maybe I’m just dumb to figure—”

“Aniya! You’re not dumb. Not all of my friends are into this either, so it’s nothing new.”

A hint of guilt sprang into his mind. Even in simple moments like these, he thought he could do better for her, yet lying or pretending wouldn’t help make things better either. “Mianhae… I couldn’t resonate when it comes to this genre. I’m not entirely sure why.”

The woman quickly intertwined her fingers with his, leaning her face closer. “Don’t be. I’m pretty sure it’s me who should apologize, babe.” She chuckled, lessening his unease around her. “Maybe we can look into another flick? You can pick this time, if you like.”

“Well, only if you’re up for it.” He turned to the screen. “But you can still choose, really.”

The tension has cooled down, but their moment has yet to advance as she had hoped. And yet, the longer they sat in silence, the woman could only take a good look at her boyfriend at another angle. One that gave her a tingling sense of curiosity. “So, you wanna do something else?” And something more, slowly creeping up in her spine.

“You know, I really don’t mind if we keep watching it, noona…” A modest smile formed on his shiny lips. “I think I’m getting the hang on how all these wizard schools work—”

The man faced Xinyu again to find her blushing on each of her cheeks. “Gwenchanayo… I, umm, I was actually gonna turn the TV off instead, Junghoon-ie…” He audibly gulped.

“Ummm, all right?” Junghoon let out a more skittish chuckle. “Is something wrong?”

Without a word to warn him, the woman gave into temptation, latching her lips onto his. Maybe it was the divine or something mystical’s way of distracting or helping her finally make a move towards him, driving Xinyu to explore a new perspective about Junghoon that she’s been keeping to herself for weeks now. Prior to making this move, her mind was filled with various expectations, but disappointment was not one of them, even as their lips began to smack with each other’s moisture while their noses were enthralled by the medley of their scents as they breathed in and out of each other, with both eyes closed while they're focused on working their mouths ‘til one of them lost their breath.

“So… Do you still…” she huffed, starstruck by him. “Wanna keep watching the movie?”

“Aniya…” he chuckled, shortly before leaning in and returning his lips locked with hers. The silence would be deafened by their lips smooching and smacking for minutes, right until the woman trailed her fingers down his legs, reaching his crotch as it was itching. Their short, cold and awkward atmosphere was now completely filled with the burning intensity between their lips.

He cowered away from touching further, but the woman’s right hand caught him in an instant, placing his hands back to the right side of her hip. “Junghoon-ie… Just keep it going, arasseo?” Without hesitation, her palm landed on his thigh. “I, uhh, need you... So… badly, Junghoon-ie.”

Junghoon heaved a chuckle just hearing those words from Xinyu. But the longer he locked eyes with her, he realized she wasn’t fooling around. He leaned in to give her another kiss before slowly and finally bringing his hand on her plump left breast. Of course, the guy knew nothing about getting under their clothes, or just touching each other beyond the skin. He only let Xinyu lead with their kiss in the weeks prior to this. As far as he could remember, the progress he’s made in this realm of intimacy was him using his tongue a little more than he probably should. But despite going overboard, he rarely, if not never heard a complaint or request from the lady to slow down when it was all he kept telling himself, to no avail. Her encouraging gestures were simply irresistible.

And yet, she could sense the hesitation. His lack of initiative. “Are you… Scared of me?”

Her delivery made Junghoon swallow his excess saliva down his throat. As he had once feared, he thought he would not be like them. Like the men who tried to shoot their shot finding Xinyu as an object of lustful yearning and carnal affection. Heck, men were even afraid of her—he was no different—as he once heard from the rumors of own friends and former classmates. But they have already reached this point where he had to realize the fact through the woman’s actions. With Xinyu’s mischievous eyes still darted with his, the woman slowly tilted her head to the left, raising her right thumb on his lower lip.

“I was,” he admitted. She leaned closer to his left ear while leaving drops of giggles, which continued to send pulses down his member until he could feel it standing up.

With her smirk, she whispered, “Don’t be… Just feel it… Don't think and keep it do—”

With her encouragement, Junghoon finally lunged at her with his drooling mouth. He shut down his thoughts and embraced the flame of lust burning through his impulses.

She unbuckled his belt and while he helped open her skirt's zipper. She's hairy—but not as much as some of his friends had shown him then, obviously whenever Kotone wasn't around to catch them lacking—out of curiosity. It must be the woman's routine to keep herself trimmed. Smoother in his hands, he exhaled and felt Xinyu slowly shivering at his gentle touch. Unlike him, none of those men would have ever gotten to this point.

“Noona…” Holding in his own body from shaking, Junghoon didn’t want to come off as a fumbling inexperienced virgin... Even though he was technically all of those. “How do I—?” Regardless, he didn’t want to break her own trust towards him, and vice versa. His ego was hellbent on proving to her, but mostly to himself—through Xinyu’s teasing yet tantalizing titters—that, despite his hesitation, he wanted her more than she expected. It’s a yearning he never got to explore much in his earlier years. Things only his friends boasted about, things he watched, just something he had never experienced first-hand.

She grasped his right hand under hers, slowly guiding his fingers down until his fingers felt the hair brushing through his skin before feeling her folds. “Just use your fingers…” Out of her own curiosity, Xinyu used Junghoon’s fingers like a paintbrush, moving his fingers up and down on her. She let out a giggle, but at the second the man began to move his digits at his own accord, she yelped and took a deeper breath, feeling her throat reverberate the moment she laughed again out of unexpected satisfaction.

“Like this?” His breath washed all over her right ear, only making her moan with a nod and groan in affirmation. Within seconds, he was able to get the hang of it. He’s always been a fast learner, but he didn’t expect it to be this fast. Nevertheless, the man had no time to be impressed with himself. Aside from a paintbrush stroking her nethers like a canvas, the movement of his fingers was akin to him swiping his phone screen until he could feel her skin moistening at his repetitive gesture. “Keep—uggghh—going, Jung!” Xinyu pleaded, latching her right hand on his head as she turned her head to kiss him.

Even with his eyes closed to taste her irresistible mouth, his fingers tiptoed around her shiny cunt as his index and middle ones touched her clit. “Nnnnggggghhh…. That’s the ssspot—Fuck!” she gasped, breaking their kiss. “How do you—augghh—know…” Maybe he’s lying to himself. Maybe it’s inconsistent with his personality. Perhaps some kind of sex demon was possessing him. But that didn’t matter, his instincts pushed him to keep going, finding validation at her continuous growls, out-of-breath huffs and moans while her grip on the mattress caused her fingernails to anchor on the cover of the sofa with every rub Junghoon’s fingers make. Within half a minute, his pacing accelerated. Three of his fingers sliding up and down on her nethers, as she simply instructed him.

“Augh!” she yelped a louder pitch. “Nggaaaauuhh, fuck! How’re you soooo—guuuuhhh!”

He noticed her lap, soaked in her own juices. “I’ll get the sheets cleaned. Your shirt to—”

“We’re not done yet, you know,” the lady huffed with a grin on her face, her lustful vigor and mental determination restored the second she leveled with and faced her somewhat ecstatic partner. “It’s my turn, baby. Just relax…”

As her hands sank down into the level of his exposed and erect manhood, she continued peppering kisses on his neck until his head arched on the wall, before her tongue started to lick him clean. Her nostrils landed under his chin, taking a whiff of his scent while her lips continued smacking on his now damp skin. The traces of the meals he cooked at the kitchen earlier this morning, lingering on her mind until this moment.

Her eyes darted up to meet him, her lips curving upwards with delight. “So delicious…”

Oddly enough, that reminded him of an older foreign song. He chuckled out of nowhere, making the woman lose her concentration for a second. “Mianhae…” he added, gulping while his eyes widened in fear that he’d broken her mood or concentration that second.

“Don’t be, baby…” she laughed in adoration. “I don’t want you to hold back.” Much like she didn’t. And the thought of just them being alone this afternoon boosted his arousal.

“Iiiiicckk…” the young man flinched, fighting his own squints and yelps while she slowly tightened his hold on the headboard. With his shaft finally slathered with Xinyu’s saliva, the woman began to move her dampened fingers up and down. The girth of Junghoon’s cock kept her concentration towards it, still letting out bursts of giggles, while she kept moving it like a joystick or gear stick. Junghoon could only bite his lower lip, allowing her to steer the way and direction of his own stimulation under the palm of her hand, tightening around his rod. The motion continued up and down, akin to a drop tower. A sensation that’s taking him high and low, albeit without any screaming right next to his ear, only the sound of his own cock making smacking sounds thanks to her hand moving up and down around his shaft in an increasingly hurried pace. “Gooooouuuuggghhhh…”

She rested on his chest, giggling with lust. “The least I can do for you, hmmm-mmmh…”

Junghoon stared deeper into her, mesmerized by this side of the woman that’s been accelerating his heartbeat and bringing out his manhood. “Noona, can I kiss you—”

Carrying a wide smile, Xinyu shut him up by exactly fulfilling his out-of-breath request, placing her thumb on her chin and leaning closer so she could collide her lips with him. He pulled her closer, allowing her to climb on top of him while their eyes slowly closed, until Junghoon was the first to part his lips to recuperate. Even without any words that followed, Xinyu leaned closer to wrap her arms around his shoulders. Junghoon didn’t expect the gesture, but she made him feel cooler throughout his body while his beating heart stayed warm.

They remained sitting on the couch in the sounds of their slowing breaths, smeared in their own essences, without any signs of ick or disgust—only comfort and satisfaction. Junghoon couldn’t hold in his bursts of chuckle, prompting Xinyu to laugh with him.

“Woa–Wow…” He remained in disbelief, despite the simplicity of their venereal act.

“Right?” she chuckled, lightly rubbing and tapping on his thigh.

Of course, he was merely a novice to this interest. “Was I--was I too fast? Did I rush—?”

She pecked his cheek while he respired. “Aniya! You did good, babe. You were amazing.”

“Well, umm… Thanks, noona. But also, I should get your clothes cleaned up before you leave later, if you’d like.”

She gave him another smooch on his noggin. “I have a spare shirt in my bag, babe… I’ll have it laundered in my place.”

“Oh… Soooo…” He gave her left hand a kiss. “Do you wanna just watch something else?”

She rested her head on his. “I would love that. But it’s past six, we should probably—”

“Eat first?” he had an inkling. And pretty much because it was his own feeling too.

His consideration drove her to give him another smooch. “Mmm… You read my mind.”

Aside from having takeout dinner on the living room or the dining table, most weekends would end with him walking her to his neighborhood’s bus stop once the clock has reached as early as five-fifteen or as late as nine-thirty-five in the evening. The latter scenario, however, only ended up catching the attention of Xinyu’s personal life in ways that Junghoon should’ve probably expected, given her background. In this case, he got to have another meeting with a familiar face on that same night, driving the same black car as it parked right next to the empty bus stop.

“Mr. Yi, you didn't have to drive all the way here.” Xinyu was in disbelief at his arrival, although such emotions would be washed away by disappointment for getting caught.

“It's the only way I can convince your parents, Zhou-nǚshì. They, uh, they tend to be more watchful with you. Where you’ve been hanging out in your senior year.”

“Good,” she scoffed, crossing her arms. “Just when I thought they wouldn't bother me after their visit...”

“Rest assured, Xinyu-ssi. I made sure they don’t know you’re here, like you’ve asked.”

“I think it's better for you, noona…” Junghoon comforted her, placing his right hand on her left shoulder and giving her soft pats. “You'll be much safer with Mr. Yi.”

“Awww…” the woman cooed, making her pull Junghoon into her long arms. “Well… I’ve already felt safe the whole day. You better take care of yourself, Junghoon-ie. Arasseo?”

“You too, noona.” Junghoon slowly tightened his arms as well, making Xinyu close her eyes and feel his warmth and tenderness produced by their embrace. “Get home safely.”

“I’ll text you when I get home,” Xinyu reminded him, before stealing another kiss on his lips and entering the right side of the backseat, which Junghoon himself closed, instead of Mr. Yi, who simply looked at him with an almost neutral expression. Almost, but it’s not enough for either young adults to notice the wistful smile he has been hiding from them with his deadpan and professional façade. Junghoon could only wave at Xinyu from afar while the stealth car drove out of the narrower road of the neighborhood, unbridledly grinning ear to ear even until the vehicle was no longer in his sight.

That night was the start of something stronger. A trigger that unleashed a myriad of feelings that Junghoon never knew he was capable of expressing with someone else. From the most flowery and sincerest words which made their hearts flutter, tonight encouraged them to explore each other through the captivating power of touch.

The moments of intimacy through the fabric of their clothing was only the first of many. While the simple delicate act of touching hands and stealing pecks started making their hearts flutter and stomachs blooming with butterflies, it evolved and burned into a far stronger sensation, sensations which tempted until it had driven their fingers to slide down their figures and reach down the belt the longer their lips and tongues clashed with abandon. All these moments pretty much took place in the “perfect setting.” A closed space—whether warm or cool—being closer and alone together was enough.

The door opened a minute earlier, and neither of the two heard the presence of one Yoon Seoyeon enter the room until she made the sound of “thud” on the bookshelf.

“What the fuck!” Xinyu yelped at the speed of a flash, leaving Junghoon to lie on the couch before he also stood up right after. “Seoyeon-ah! Where did you—?”

“I mean, this is still our room, right? I won’t be long, but umm…” Despite her almost unusually deadpan cadence, she broke into a chuckle. “This is awkward.”

“But, noona…” Feeling his throat dry quicker than usual, Junghoon wanted to clear the uncertain air, even though it was quite obvious for the two women chatting beside him.

“Oh…” she realized the root of his panic. “Don’t worry, you two. I won’t tell anyone.”

“I don’t know if that’s the problem…” Perhaps he was simply too undisciplined for giving into the “temptation of the flesh,” although as much he hated to admit it, so was Xinyu.

“Calm your horses, Junghoon-ah. I’m not gonna ask you any questions,” she tapped his shoulders right before turning her gaze at Xinyu, which she nudged her shoulder with a mischievous smirk. “That’ll be unnie’s job.”

The taller, older woman squinted her eyes. “Don’t tell me you just want something to gossip about while you’re rising through the ranks at that startup crypto company—”

“ModHaus is not a startup or a crypto company… Not anymore, at least. They’re way past that. Our professors wouldn’t have recommended me there if they're not legit.”

Xinyu didn’t doubt that retort. “Well, I guess I also got some tea from your workplace.”

Even after that lighthearted moment, Junghoon was still compelled to ask Seoyeon.

“I’ll always be happy for Xinyu-unnie and you, Junghoon-ah… I’m not sure why you’d bother hiding your relationship from the rest of the girls or heck—your own buddies… But if that’s also unnie’s decision, I can’t do anything but respect you two.”

“Doesn’t it…” He hesitated to say the word for a second. “Bother you?”

Her eyes squinted by instinct, perplexed by his brief question. “What bothers me?”

He cleared his throat while slowly scratching his collarbone. “Noona and I are seeing each other and you know? She used to be with—”

“That’s none of my business, Junghoon…” she interrupted him, somewhat carrying a more professional tone. “Xinyu and Sohyun-unnie’s been together a little longer than our club was a thing, but that does not give me a right to judge her... Both of them are my friends. But so are you.”

“Gomawo, Seoyeon-sunbae,” was all he could respond.

“You’re not calling me noona, now?” she smirked, a slow change in mood that triggered nervousness within the young man. “I guess that spot’s now reserved for unnie, then?”

“That’s not—”

She shook her head with a giggle. “No need to defend yourself, Junghoon. They’re just honorifics by the end of the day.”

“I mean, It’s not like that, noona. It’s just that everyone's been busy nowadays, I thought things would be more awkward if we just pretend like we haven’t hung out more often.”

She placed both her hands on each of his shoulders, squeezing them lightly. “It can be awkward at first, but that doesn’t mean things have to change, Junghoon. Even with Sohyun-unnie being on the opposite side of the world, we’re always gonna be here. That’s what true friends are supposed to be!”

There was nothing to argue with her straightforward wisdom. “You’re right, noona…”

“And that’s your choice, whether or not you wanna come clean with Sohyun-unnie,” she continued. “Just, you know, don’t do it behind Xinyu-unnie’s back. If it’s something that serious, never do it without each other’s knowledge. You gotta open up to her first.”

From that day on forward, the two had a habit of hanging out less inside Room 238. They might as well have considered it a church or temple, considering the miniature religious images and statues from Xinyu’s older project from a couple of years back, aside from the framed photos of the club, some of which has Xinyu and Sohyun as a couple who weren't ashamed to express their displays of affection around the others. Those photos are a testimony of the Mad Money Club’s history, something Junghoon could never take off his brain, even if his heart's beating for one of those women. The only thing that was keeping him at bay was Sohyun’s gaze slowly changing the longer he’d stare at her, happily wrapping her arms around the woman that he's dating now. But he shouldn't. Sohyun's got a life of her own in France, and so does Xinyu here. With him and everyone else. He should keep that in mind.

= =

Several weeks have gone by since then, and before they all knew it, it was already July.

Dating turned out harder than he thought. It was his first time, after all. But, not even his closest confidantes knew it would be much more difficult than they anticipated. By the second week of this month, they've only been meeting for about four to five times a week. At least, he still got texting and calling with her for those lost times, but when he found himself feeling a little clingier than usual, he wanted to seek counseling from the person he could trust during these hell weeks, who also happened to be on Xinyu’s level.

“She's a senior, Junghoon-ah…” Myungsoo, only in his smart casual attire, talked to him over the cheapest cafe on campus. “We're all busier than usual these days. It's normal!”

“Huh… Well, she even decided to quit the Thespians this week, so that is something.”

“Exactly what I mean,” he raised his right hand for a second. “Don’t sweat it too much, Junghoon-ah... Heck, I’ll be dropping off from our council by the end of the semester.”

Junghoon could only scratch his hair, before following a sudden thought in his mind. “Were, umm, were you expecting that I would get rejected?” An insecure one, that is.

“Yah, I was rooting for the opposite! I always thought you deserved to be happy, man… But, you shouldn’t always keep your mind on her, twenty-four-seven, because she’s got her own priorities, too… Just like with you trying to balance out your gigs and classes. You should get yourself some hobbies, you know? Get your mind off things, enjoy time by yourself.”

Junghoon considered his friend’s advice seriously. At that same moment, both persons caught the entry of athletes entering the cafe.

“But even if things get harder than you can handle, I'm just letting you know that we'll always be there for you, okay? If things get tough, I’m sure you two will sort it out.”

His words were enough to bring a soft smile out of his face. “Gomawo, hyung... I also wish and hope you the best with Yooyeon-sunbae… You guys are adorable together.”

“Aww, that's sweet, man. Appreciate it!” He tapped his right shoulder with his left hand, applying no pressure with how moved he was by that remark. “But, of course, anytime!”

Ever since Seoyeon caught them in the act inside Room 238, they expanded their options and spent more time on campus facilities during their mutual vacant times. Without a doubt, the university library was one of their most common hangouts. Not only was it a domain of public knowledge for students like them, it was a paradise for those seeking to take the deepest naps while classes have yet to take all their space and time on campus. Xinyu's no stranger to this routine, especially with her spending more time outside the university due to her internship at a broadcasting station in Yeouido.

This Wednesday afternoon, Xinyu happened to be free from both classes and work, as with Junghoon taking less shifts at work while it was still summer. The woman wasn’t always the biggest fan of reading, like a lot of students here, unless a certain title would catch her interest and attention. But for this time, her laid-back mood slowly demanded her partner’s presence to be next to her, while she laid her head on the table with her eyes closed under the soothing artificial breeze of the air conditioner above their spot.

Junghoon couldn’t help but steal glances at the napping woman. His eyes perceived her as a princess. And as odd as he thought of it, he’s like a bodyguard, one who was closer to her age, at least. He didn’t want to think of Mr. Yi or some of the others he only saw once or twice, it's already weird enough that he brought them up. His looks started with a split second. Casual and curious. Then his glance lasted for two seconds, taking a close look at her ears and nose, and not to mention her mole. Adoration. Then four. Fondness. Five. Praise. Six. Worship. Seven. Reverence.

Until she finally opened her sparkling eyes out of nowhere, making him turn his head and look back straight into his book, like a whip. He didn't hear her speak up or even let out a teasing giggle, or any indicator that she had caught his awed glances at her. He had to keep his cool, but curiosity slowly pulled his eyes back into her, tempted to sit back and her godly face for the nth time instead of focusing on his studies.

Thanks to his sweater, his whole body had a fighting chance against the cold. But, just as he thought he was safe, he could feel those long fingers, those same ones he would often intertwine with his own, now wriggling, wrapping around his denim-covered member.

“I, uhh, fuck…” he gasped with sudden agitation. His nervousness splintered into a balance of shock, confusion, and satisfaction. “I--I thought you were taking a nap.”

“I was…” She raised her head, keeping her smile almost blank, and leaned closer to him, giving his crotch a slow and tighter squeeze. “But you’ve been staring at me for a bit.”

“It’s just… You’re really beautiful.” Of course, his awestruck confession made her giggle. As much as he always made her heart flutter, she wanted more than a superficial praise.

“So are you, handsome.” The woman reached her left hand on his face, warming up his right cheek with her palm. “And uhh, of course, I was also feeling him under the table.”

His right eyebrow couldn't help but raise higher, feeling her right hand still on his shaft. “Ummm… What's going on with you?” Once more, she has had her grasp on him like a joystick. Such amusement made the woman bite her upper lip, her mind filling up with new ideas he could only guess.

“Nal ttarawa,” she told him before rising from her seat and picking up her handbag, prompting him to follow suit with his shoulder, but not before returning their pile of books into the counter of the custodian, who quietly showed a playful smile at him as soon as he exited the door of the library’s lounge area. Despite his initial thoughts, he followed her into the elevator, instead of the stairs. As soon as they exited, the woman took him into an area he never even considered taking a step in. It was considered as a blind spot, away from any camera or eyes of anyone who might’ve wandered the floor. Xinyu placed her bag on the floor, as Junghoon would follow, placing his next to hers.

Without saying a word, Xinyu slowly pushed Junghoon into the book shelf, cupping his face and chin and kissed him with unbridled hunger. Making out behind book shelves of the most isolated corner of the fourth floor, the area most students rarely take advantage of. With his thoughts firing everywhere, they would definitely get in big trouble if they’re not careful enough in this spot. The problem was, he was also giving into the taste of her lips tongue, as well as the scent of her floral perfume on her skin with it entering straight into his nostrils. Even without perfume, Xinyu’s scent alone has captivated him.

“I’ve missed this,” she panted, keeping her wild voice as low as she could. “Fuck…”

He leaned closer to her. From her vision, it seemed he was going to give her a kiss. Out of instinct, the woman closed her eyes, missing his luscious lips—right until she felt his warm breath brushing on her ear to purr two words, “How much?”

Catching her breath as she felt a tingle crawl up her spine, Xinyu only let out an alluring and somewhat provoking giggle with her eyes shut, gently making her lean down so she could initiate the kiss first, while her right hand slid down his already hardening crotch. The sensation of his growing hard bulge ignited a moan from Xinyu as Junghoon pulled her in, deepening their kiss without hesitation. Within seconds, her fingers were able to wrap around his girth. Slowly, both of their bodies began to shiver, sensing the sizzling stimulation entering their skin & spreading throughout their veins.

Leaving a trail of saliva between their lips, the man caught his breath, holding onto each her shoulders. “Noona, I—uh—don’t think—this is the place… We should be doing this.”

With a smile, she placed her right index finger on his lips, letting her own lust and thrill work alongside her more determined mindset. “Shhh… You trust me, right?”

He was the inexperienced one between them, but he still had terror, the fear of getting expelled or humiliated, looming on his shoulders. He would've followed it and stopped her, if he wasn't enticed by the bewitching closeness of their distance. Swallowing his dread and doubts down his throat, in favor of her balanced nurturing and dominant aura, he slowly nodded, letting her take the lead once again. “Always, noona…”

Xinyu leaned in to give him a softer kiss. “We’re safe here… Now—let me do the honor.”

With little struggle, she unbuckled his belt and sank to the floor, on her knees right after his pants did first, unabashedly staining her slacks. Her gaze maintained with him while her hands welcomed his already hardening bulge through his black underwear. “Ohhhh. Has it gotten bigger?”

“You tell me…” he shot back with an excited chuckle, bracing himself like it was going to be one tense and thrilling roller coaster ride. “I’m not really one to measure it.”

With a grin, the woman pulled down his pants into the floor, before finally unveiling this hard and pointed cock before her eyes. “Mmmmm… Only one way to find out.” Wasting no time, Xinyu maintained eye contact with Junghoon while she started giving teaseful kisses on his head, expecting the moans he almost failed to lower down. Satisfied by the start of things, she leaned down to reach his testicles, devouring them with passion, a carnal connoisseur taking delight in an epicurean meal. She was kissing each ball the same way she was with his lips whenever they deepened their kiss, leaving strings of saliva til the thought of leaving his cock untouched made her switch her target back, allowing her fingers to substitute on his now salivated balls by giving each of them a brief, but spine-chilling massage, knowing Junghoon would continue to groan as the shivers of pleasure within him pulsate throughout his body.

Getting sucked off in the darkest corner of the university library in the late afternoon was a scenario he never imagined, even taking the location out, he wouldn’t have still imagined it. Instead of spreading all of his fingers on Xinyu, he held his right hand on the top of the vintage books behind him, with his left palm gently placed on top of the woman's head as she began her play on him. She bobbed her mouth in and out of his cock, gradually accelerating with every passing second until she finally took all of his member, its head almost reaching her throat, which made her eyes wider. Her mind flowed with overwhelming intrigue, the reaction even made her chuckle. Xinyu wanted to get his cock off her mouth for a moment just to tell him her finding, but she knew she had to keep going so they would both benefit from this risque and shameless experience.

While fixing all her disordered hair to the side of her ear, the woman continued bobbing her head in the same rhythm as her mouth enjoyed this snack, compelling her tongue inside to give it some twist and turn. Her fingers were now wrapped around the root of his shaft, keeping herself stable while the man she’s pleasuring was conflicted between closing his eyes or looking right above the ceiling and looking straight into the empty periodical section, where anyone else could still end up walking towards their direction. Nevertheless, the stimulation throughout his body has been overwhelmingly victorious in keeping himself mostly silent and submissive towards his lust. What his toes could only do was wiggle and almost claw through his socks, inside his shoes, as her mouth kept devouring his succulent manhood with unbridled satisfaction.

In his mind and vision, everything slowed down despite the woman’s rapid movement. Every minute, he could catch his lover giving him a sultry wink, showing little struggle while she was sucking him dry. Xinyu’s beauty and boldness made him bite his knuckle instead of moaning for much longer, his crazed thoughts couldn’t help but wonder if she was a gumiho, making him vulnerable with her act before she could finally feed on him, if this one didn’t count. But it mattered little, she had already brought him to heaven.

However, by the eighth minute of her repetition, Junghoon could no longer contain the buildup in his shaft as his warm semen finally erupted out his cock, squirting straight into the woman’s widely open mouth. Looking down at Xinyu, he heard an audible gulp from the woman, making him place his right palm on his head and chuckle. While she was catching her breath, he slowly pulled the woman to stand up, letting her rest her head on his chest and feel each other’s racing heartbeat slowing down, as their bodies would slowly cool down thanks to the room’s air conditioning reaching their skin.

But, just as she thought it was over, the man wouldn't let her be the only one bringing surprises. He might not get the chance until their next meeting, so pressure gave him the push to get on his knees, switching places with the woman until her back was now leaning on the same spot, carefully anchoring the side of the shelf with her left hand.

Still, he didn't want to come off as a lustful savage, prompting him to whisper, “May I?”

Holding in her giggles with her right hand, she only nodded while maintaining her gaze at him in excitement, perhaps surpassing his when she did the same treatment earlier, considering Junghoon’s feelings had a mix of nervousness greatly fueling his erection until he came. He unzipped her pants open, revealing her clean shaven cunt; this new finding was enough to make his mouth drool within seconds. Unbeknownst to Xinyu, he’s prepared himself for this moment the more they were too tempted to touch each other under the sheets inside her room. For once, he had to rely on the internet for this opportunity rather than his close friends, and to his surprise, it was working when he placed his finger on her clit, widening her eyes and forcing her left hand on her mouth just to moan in surprise. Treating this task like a passion project, he began rubbing on her clit, creating circular motions with his fingers until she let out a deep, long groan. But, of course, this was merely a tease. He knew that eyes could end up catching them at any point, so he had to quicken up the pace without ruining her exhilaration.

The tall woman's whimpers could only grow in volume once his tongue entered her cunt, mirroring her technique around his shaft earlier, but with more intensity and creativity. His first impression of someone’s vulva wasn’t far off from his expectations. It was salty, for the most part, but the longer his mouth lingered inside her folds, his palate reached sweetness, much like a creature digging through a hive for the purest honey to savor.

Xinyu’s tongue was sticking out as her eyes were half-shut, imagining herself kissing Junghoon in this trance, while he’s still eating her out. Unleashing her most intrusive thoughts, she hasn’t felt—nay attained this level of ecstasy. Not since her last partner. It was a thought that made her visibly shake her head off with a smile while keeping her composure under pleasure. As her back arching with her left hand grappling tightly on the shelf above her and her right stuffing her mouth, the woman almost broke through her improvised muffle as she finally orgasmed, with most of her warm juices squirting straight into her partner’s face, mirroring her experience earlier. The woman lasted seven, almost eight minutes, but she felt that things were longer.

“Wow,” he chuckled as he stood up and leveled with Xinyu. The man fixed her unkempt hair to the side, getting a clearer look at her face with her crazed and almost open smile at him. “Can I… kiss you?” he mumbled, unable to hide his grin while he calmed down.

Her mouth half-open, Xinyu wiped any traces of her own juices off his lips, although she remained hesitant towards his request, at least for his sake. “Babe... Are you sure? It’s—”

Without hesitation, Junghoon placed his thumb on her chin and pulled her closer with his other hand as their lips collided with each other once again. As neither complained, they hummed in bliss while she rested her hands on her boyfriend’s shoulders, keeping themselves relaxed while they hungered for each other’s mixed scent, taste and essence.

“—Unhygienic,” she murmured, still mostly lightheaded with her mind in a trance-like state, which she eagerly submitted into. In his arms, she continues to catch her breath.

“I don’t care,” he wheezed just as he gave her one more smooch that came off as sweeter than their far spicier makeout seshes. “Our minds were already dirty since we got here.”

No disagreement from her. “You’re naughtier…” Her smile widened as their lips parted so she could tease him. “—than I thought… I didn’t know my boyfriend had it in him.”

He didn’t know how to take in her words, but the last one definitely radiated his body with excitement, slowly rubbing his ego while he’s in disbelief at Xinyu’s compliment. “Boyfriend?” It’s the first time she has said that special word out loud, at least to him.

“Pabo-yah…” she chuckled and briefly lowered her head out of slight embarrassment, softly punching his right elbow. “You’re really gonna make me say it again? All right… Namjachingu.”

He turned his head to the left, chuckling. “I was just making sure I heard it right.” Surprisingly enough, hearing it from her mouth didn’t make him feel… reserved.

She nuzzled her nose with his own, giggling to make her tease more obvious. “For someone who’s on the dean’s list, I really thought you figured it out by now, babe.”

He knew he should have thought it was the case since they dated, but being dense and overthinking has always been two traits he had been guilty of. “Yah. You’re also on the dean’s list.”

“With how much I've been juggling an internship with class? I don't know for how long.”

“You and I both…” He gave her nose a light pinch, widening her smile. “Just not with the internship one… But I know you'll do well, no matter how tough it may seem. You’ve done a great job with the Thespians, so I don’t see why you can’t do it this time.”

“You know… You have no idea how much those words matter, Junghoon-ie…”

To most, her words might’ve sounded dramatic. “Well… You matter to me—”

Xinyu charged herself into his lips, silencing him so they could share another moment to make up with lost time. But right as just as they hummed into the kiss, their senses and intuition warned them. “Who's there?” a masculine voice called from outside the doors of the section, finding both their figures quickly parting.

A custodian, far older than the one in the lounge, walked towards their spot. He found the two, still next to each other, rummaging through different shelves until they chose random books on their hands.

Junghoon showed his selection first. Beauty magazine. “I came here to borrow this.”

“Uhh-huh…” He changed his gaze towards the woman. “And you?”

She showed him a fashion magazine. “Same thing, Sir… I was looking for this book for minutes now, but he helped me find it. Apologies if we caused any problems.”

“That’s, umm… That’s all right. I thought I heard some murmuring over here, but it’s just you two… Well, next time, just don’t hesitate to call any of us if you’re still having trouble with finding a title. Some books can’t be accessed if they’re inside the counter.”

“Ne!” answered both students before bowing to him in appreciation. “Kamsahamnida!”

As soon as he left, the two packed up their bags and headed straight to the elevator.

Xinyu returned the magazine she chose back to the counter. “Babe… Don’t tell me you’re actually borrowing that.”

“I think it could be fun,” Junghoon countered, only now looking at the magazine in his hand, an issue published over a few months ago. They both immediately recognized the person in the cover, LE SSERAFIM’s Kazuha. Looking at Xinyu with embarrassment, Junghoon gulped in panic. “But, umm, yeah, I think I’ll just return it tomorrow.”

Xinyu lightened him up with a chuckle, sounding more playful with her response while avoiding her gaze. “Why rush it? She’s a beautiful celebrity... Closer to your age, too.”

But Junghoon took it a little more sensitively. “Yah… First, she’s only a year older than me, and second, she’s not you, Xinyu-noona.”

The tall woman snuck up a peck on his right cheek as soon as they arrived on the ground floor. “I’ll meet you outside campus,” she told him right before the elevator opened, with her lips quickly forming a smile.

Junghoon was left inside the lift to scratch his head, wondering why he even brought the magazine in the first place. Without hesitation, he remained inside the elevator, much to the confusion of the other students who just entered. Going back to the fourth floor, he returned the magazine back to the section counter before rushing down the stairs to catch up with Xinyu.

A weekend later, though, something funny happened. There were three vacant rooms on the second floor of their house. None of them were brought up since Xinyu's first arrival here. That's until her own inquisitiveness within their residence had gotten to her when she revisited the room she ended up in last year, after that incident.

“No one has lived in the spare rooms in five years..." he explained to her. “We only keep the rooms clean in case she changes her mind about accepting new tenants again... She didn't, but you know, I think that doing chores on this part of the floor has kept herself busy whenever she's staying here the whole day…”

After a light shuckle, Xinyu looked up at him with some inquiry. “That’s, umm, Good to know.” A second later, her index finger raised on her lower lip—forming a subtle smile.

Squinting his eyes, Junghoon's head tilted slightly in confusion at her expression.  A smile of intrigue and eyes of curiosity. “Really?”

“Yeah, yeah!” Her hair started to itch, prompting her to slowly scratch it through the awkwardness she had first caused. “Because I, uhh... I've been meaning to ask you–”

“Yes, noona?” But she remained assured by his warm and approachable expression.

She rubbed her hands together, as if she had been preparing herself in terms of asking this particular question to him. “Do you mind if I'll be staying there for a while?”

Junghoon turned to her slowly, involuntarily swallowing his throat. “What?”

Saying “I'll pay” was her first counter in an attempt of alleviating his confoundment, before following up with, “It's just until I'm through with my internship, if it’s okay,” something that only got his full attention.

But that was far from his problem. Hearing her additional response only elevated the volume of his heartbeat, making him think of the worst. “Noona, you don't need to—”

A day later, a couple of duffel bags softly landed on the wooden floor of the first vacant room. Junghoon dropped two on the recently refurbished bed, noticing not just all the essentials in a college dorm, but the accessories and toys of it all. Placing her handbag on the desk, Xinyu walked in front of the window, still carrying a beaming smile right before pulling out her belongings out of her bags, batch by batch. She was not kidding about moving in, and oddly enough, Junghoon wasn't as uncomfortable at this idea as he thought. It was just… moving a little fast for his pace, and it wasn’t a good or a bad thing, as far as he had seen how things had gone for them.

“Are you sure about this, noona?” He didn't even know what the two of them were.

He thought about writing a lease agreement. but she simply told him they'd sort it out together. Just not at this moment. The price nor paper didn't matter. Perhaps it wasn't about the kind of place she'd move into, even if she’s a rich girl who’s out of his league.

Xinyu pulled him into her arms, wrapping them around his neck with her bright beam and resting her forehead on his. “I haven't been this sure in a while, Junghoon-ie.”

He didn’t know much about where Xinyu was living, but now, who was he to complain? All he knew was that she was already residing in a high rise apartment or condominium, and the distance between her place and their campus probably wasn’t that far. However, her moving into his own house was more or less likely for a far more sentimental reason.

As the rest of the month would play out, the more Junghoon found better realizations for their relationship after Xinyu moved in as their house's only tenant. For once, they got to touch hands more often, as this unusual situation had also given Junghoon the somewhat needed pressure and far better opportunities to plan more dates with her, whether it's having lunch outside or making breakfast and dinner inside the house.

Especially for a lot of couples their age, this was a situation they could only dream of.

Whenever they meet at Keuri-go Park, they couldn’t help but give each other updates without the limitations of their texts and calls, as well as hangouts with their friends. Basically, it was the ideal situation one could only see in dramas or heck, fanfictions. Being able to live in the same building, the same house, made him a little more alert, more attentive with their conversations, less conscious about showing their affection throughout the following weeks, now that they could spend more time in private.

“I think Yeonghwan was hitting on me while we’re at the station.” Especially when they tend to get more serious and personal, rather than academic and extracurricular.

His head bobbled sideways. “What? No, no… That can’t be… He’s courting Yubin-ah.”

“That's what I thought, too,” she scratched her chin. “That girl is head over heels for him, so seeing her go through all that song and dance with Yeonghwan confused me, especially with how that same guy was being a little too casual with me. Like, he could just end up asking me out if we somehow partnered up to work on the same coverage.”

He tried to remain playing as the devil's advocate.“Well, I don’t think you should be too worried, noona. I have trusted Yeonghwan-hyung since I was a freshman… Maybe he’s just trying to ask you some things about Yubin and ask for your blessing as her friend?”

“He was being a little too curious about my dating life, and whether I have time for them at work… It felt kinda strange… I don't know if there's a better term for it.”

The walls of his years of perception about Yeonghwan began to crack and take damage. “Huh.” He couldn't help but scratch the itch off his head. “He really said those things?”

“You don't have to believe me, babe…” She switched her tone into a more sardonic one. “But it's not the first time I've had someone hit on me. And he's doing it too smoothly.”

He knew too well not to undermine her. “I’m sorry, noona…” He never would. He's not the one who has an experience with relationships, after all.

She’s eager to justify her concern, but she’s aware of his position. “Don’t be, babe. I was just being cautious. Girl’s intuition and all. Yubam’s my friend, too, you know? None of us would want her going out when there are red flags… No offense to him.”

“I know… I’ll talk to Yeonghwan-hyung the next time we hang out on campus.”

She also knew it was too much to ask of someone. “Junghoon-ah…” He didn't have to…

“It's the least I can do, noona.” But it was worth the deed for him. She's worth it for him.

She was hesitant to confess at first, but a gust of relief and appreciation blew onto her, making her hold his hand, quickly intertwining her fingers with his. “Gomawo, babe.”

He had to grow a spine if he had to defend someone’s honor, but it was a task far from easy, considering any misstep could worsen the misunderstanding between these two. Even with his reluctance, Junghoon had to play as the mediator, a role he had to take during their gang's next meetup, which wasn't that uncommon, despite some of them having a less flexible schedule. Of course, he didn't want to make his intention far too obvious, nor did he want to damage his friendship and relationship at the same time.

“I was just joking around. It’s nothing serious, Junghoon-ah…” He sounded defensive.

Junghoon had finished taking a sip of his cup of milk tea before facing him. “Oh…”

“Why?” He rubbed his nape, looking to the side. “Did she say something about me?”

“Yup. She just mentioned all those things when you were working at the station.”

If he had never met Xinyu or any of the Mad Mad Club, Junghoon’s deep, insecure self would have just given up here and there. Recalling their two years of friendship along with Myungsoo and Honggi, Baek Yeonghwan was the Casanova of their group. Had ways with women, whether they met at some homecoming party or senior's farewell. Honggi might be the one who introduced concepts like “body count,” “rizzing up,” or “wingmanning,” but Yeonghwan lived his life with such a lifestyle, a humble one too. That was what he admired about him, but now, it’s something he’s more cautious of.

If he and Xinyu were only friends by now, he would remain a coward, letting him keep on talking and making suave comments about Xinyu behind her back, like Honggi had with every woman that made him drool or bleed from his nose like an anime character. Junghoon saw himself as that friend, always a listener. However, this time’s a different situation. As a person and, as his secret boyfriend (boyfriend, nonetheless), he had to man up to him. Yeonghwan was already having a good time with Yubin, his friend. At this point, he realized that Xinyu wasn't wrong for suspecting.

“Well… It's not like you’re dating, are you?” Yeonghwan raised his eyebrow, almost throwing Junghoon off with this sudden question, but his mind was already set.

He sat firm and straightened his posture, deepening his voice and maintaining his gaze. “Aniya. But that’s not the issue, hyung. Xinyu-noona’s my friend, too, and I don’t want any misunderstandings to take place between us. And I mean that on both sides.”

Yeonghwan had to take a step back, even if Junghoon himself didn’t move a little closer to him. “All right, all right, I’m sorry, man… But, if you’re talking about Yubin-ah, then yeah… I am serious about her… I understand if Xinyu-ssi felt uncomfortable, but I was hoping I could get to know some of her friends more. And so, I took that opportunity.”

“You are?” He had to blink two times. But he heard his soft confession loud and clear. It was all about boundaries, which he felt obligated to establish by his ego and masculinity.

Yeonghwan couldn’t hide his awkward smile, but adding in a slow nod said it all for him. He never expected his soft-spoken friend was capable of this cadence, but he felt more impressed, proud even, that he was able to stand up for himself and for someone else.

Junghoon placed his hand on his shoulder, making Yeonghwan somewhat feel at ease. “I’m happy for you two, hyung. I wish you the best of luck!”

As his eyes and smile grew with relief and gratitude, the older man pulled him into a bro hug, which Junghoon himself appreciated. “Really? Thanks, bud! I, uhh, I needed that.”

“And besides, Xinyu-noona has been really considerate about you and Yubin-ah, so I’m sure you’ll get the rest of the club’s blessing, if that’s what you’re asking from her.”

Yeonghwan’s eyes lit up with a sense of hope. “Is that so? Oh, that’d be great, man!” As well as fascination. “But are you sure that there’s nothing going on between you two?”

Temptation crept up to him for a second, but he knew he couldn’t afford to add another one to the bunch. Kotone, Myungsoo, his grandmother, and Seoyeon. Plus, Yeonghwan did not exactly give a great impression towards his girlfriend. But in his mind, time will tell. As of now, secrecy was still pretty much the status of their relationship. Of course, some would give their possibility the benefit of the doubt, given their perception of the woman he’s seeing as the sapphic popular senior who claimed her disinterest in dating after her last relationship. One that Junghoon himself supported and tried to preserve.

“Nope,” he answered his older friend with a straight face, somewhat akin to the derp face he was used to seeing when he was much, much younger.

Of course, one would expect for the situation to have lesser misunderstanding. But given Xinyu’s side of the story, Junghoon’s suspicion never waned for a little while. For him, it was a frightening possibility that this type of conundrum would become a matter of him taking a side between his friend and his girlfriend. Some would consider this situation a tale as old as time, but Junghoon had kept his fingers crossed, not wanting to end up in cases where relationships end up broken because of distrust and misunderstanding. As the next night would arrive, he couldn’t let this information inside his head for so long, allowing their next hangout for him to talk to her about his friend.

“—And that’s what Yeonghwan-hyung meant when he was curious about you.”

Xinyu tilted her head, pursing her lips together with her arms crossed. “Weeeeell… I still have some doubts, but I trust your word, Junghoon. You’ve known him longer, after all.”

“I kinda made him admit that he’s serious about Yubin-ah,” he continued with a more lighthearted approach. “And well, he was just a little desperate to get some of the girls’ blessing, so I don’t think he should be a problem.”

The tall woman’s smile widened, showing her teeth in amusement. “Is that right?”

Slowly and gently, he held her left hand. “Yeah… I had to take a little pinch from Yubin-ah for meeting up with him, but it was—”

Xinyu opened her mouth in disbelief, immediately finding the claw marks in his hand. “Yubam did this to you? She must be just as serious with him…” She quickly raised his wrist to get a better look. “Let me see that.” Junghoon noticed the concern in her stare.

“Gwenchanayo, noona,” Junghoon chuckled. “I’ve had ant bites worse than this.” They both knew Yubin was capable of doing more damage when provoked, albeit with her teeth. He considered himself to be lucky things didn't end up that way, without him spilling the true nature of his relationship with Xinyu.

The tall woman squinted her eyes, holding his hand closely to her in a nurturing manner. “Hmm… I should've talked to her as well. That girl kinda overreacted!”

“I get why Yubam did it,” Junhoon eased her worry by caressing her palm with his other hand. “But I can assure you, I won’t let hyung or anyone else make you uncomfortable... I promise you that, if you’d want it, noona.”

Flattered and touched by his words, the woman let out a giggle. “How can I say no to that offer?” She pulled him closer and wrapped her arm around him. “Come closer.”

“It’s getting really colder nowadays, huh?” Junghoon giggled during their embrace.

“I think I know how we can heat things up a little more,” she whispered into his ear.

Junghoon chuckled by instinct, feeling the strands of hair under his shirt rise up with the chills crawling up his spine, flowing through his heart as it fluttered. “Mmm… I'd like that, but I'm sure that halmeoni is at home tonight, so I don’t know if we can—”

“Yah… Not like that!” the tall woman let out a cackle at his retort, moderately smacking his shoulder. “I was just thinking, maybe you can hang out in my room for a bit. Before bedtime?”

While still keeping his arms on her shoulders, Junghoon parted the hug to take a look at her with a grin. “Just a bit?” teased the man.

Xinyu hid her smile by sneaking a kiss on his cheeks. “Don’t tempt me, Mister Geum.”

“It’s your call, Miss Zhou,” he shot back, countering her gesture with kisses of his own before they pulled each other in another embrace. This time, Junghoon did not hesitate to hug her a little tighter so Xinyu did not have to pull him more as she did often. Within the silence, he couldn't help but cherish this moment as the woman leaned and snuggled into his chest. In his romantic jubilance, his thoughts circle around how he never knew a woman as special as her would be someone he would be willing to protect, look out, and care for. Closing his eyes, Junghoon hoped to shut his thoughts down while they warm their jacket-covered bodies and echo each other's heartbeats against the cold night.

As this warm moment lasted for a minute, they slowly parted before turning their attention back to the restaurant's doors, eleven feet away from them.

“Come on, babe… The others may start looking for us at this point.”

They took a slow walk back to the entrance, allowing their subconscious to prolong their moment as a secretive but committed couple, with their hands still intertwined. “Yeah... You know, they were really excited you came to the party.”

“Jinjja? I miss them, too… I'm really glad you got them back together just for tonight.”

“It wasn't my idea,” he admitted. “I just listened to them saying how much they wanted a night out with their old gang again.”

“Yeah, but you made it possible, babe. I'm not even in the organization anymore.”

“On paper, no... But you'll always be a Thespian, noona. Perhaps, my favorite one.”

Slowly feeling her cheeks warming up, Xinyu nudged him softly with her left shoulder while letting out a chortle once they’re now only six feet close to the entrance. “Yah…”

The talks between the couple wouldn't just be limited to red flag suspicions. From classes to work, they had time for juicy gossip and entertaining trivialities in their day-to-day lives. They were like a two-way radio, where Xinyu spilled a lot of tea. Tattletales would have a field day with all her stories, but Junghoon’s no snitch.

“Ugh. Professor Choi hasn't been making things easier for us. Why do we get a deadline due next week for a mid-term project while everyone else gets two?”

“I just don't think it would make any sense, like how can sharks survive the canals? It's bonkers, right? But if I'm gonna be honest, it was a fun watch… Don't you think so?”

“You think I should start collecting these Labubus? Is that what they're called? You really don't think they're ugly, do you?”

“I think Nien’s becoming really serious about Kyumin-ah… As her friend, of course I hope the guy's feeling the same. Or else… He better not use their internship as some excuse to break up.”

“I’m still about, hmmm, seventy-percent into fact-checking this whole coverage, but it's past midnight. You sure you don't wanna head back to your room? Unless… You want to stay a little longer?”

Regardless of her mood, Junghoon gave his attention the best he could. Spoke little for the most part, but he listened throughout everything she’s been craving or yearning to vent and share whenever they're together. He was rather economical with his words.

“Well, my room's not even that far from yours, so… If you don't mind, of course, noona.”

But perhaps, his presence, his attention, maybe it was all she needed.

The rest of the month proved to be a tumultuous one, studying and working through the busiest schedules Xinyu had gone through as a college senior. Despite living through all these bumpy roads, the surprisingly accelerating growth of their relationship made them closer, both in distance and intimacy, with no signs of things slowing down. Right before Xinyu would leave for work or class at dawn, Junghoon would wake up earlier to brew her a cup of coffee, alongside a platter of freshly cooked or reheated appetizers on the dining table whenever he could. It was never about whether she’d drink or eat them every morning, but rather how she shouldn't seize the day with an empty stomach.

But aside from that, the man had also got himself immersed into following a personal set of routines, going into jogs and getting himself to firm up all his muscles and build up the tolerance of his heart, moving his body under the mindset as each day would pass by until the month finally ended, he whispered to himself three words to keep him going until the sun has risen over his skin:

We're halfway there.

= = =

In the next four weeks, Junghoon has had quite tremendous changes in his body. Sure, the fruits of losing weight are not harvested after a single day or even a week, or two, but such intensity and determination he was able to exert into himself has given him the consequences he should've seen coming. The sores in his muscles—limbs, chest, and abdomen wrangling like vines tightening and stretching thin—lasted for a week, and were still lingering to his moment. Aside from sitting still in classes, he even had to hide his slow signs of trivial agony in front of Xinyu with his limited movements while he recovered, although she probably had some subtle suspicions with her nonstop smile and caring hands all over him whenever they touched, despite his reassurance to her.

“You sure you're not feeling anything anymore?” his grandmother asked from the sofa while knitting herself a new set of blue-green mittens.

“Aniyo,” Junghoon nodded, cracking his finger joints, while taking a seat on the sofa from the opposite side of the room. “I’m feeling better, halmeoni.”

“No worries, but because of that little misstep you made, I have to remind you that you should stretch your legs first before moving them. Always.”

“Yeah, I should've known that the first time.” And despite those trials, those amateurish problems he had brought, he felt no regret. Combined with eating less carby foods on weekdays, Junghoon found himself losing weight because of his newfound routine.

“I can only hope you're not gonna run too hard... You know I can't always give you a massage when you're wailing in pain in your legs, much like when you were still little.”

“I wasn't—” He had no reason to deny it, even if he was embarrassed, but her being right made him laugh. “Well, you didn't have to do it in the first place. But, I’m grateful for it.”

“It's the least I can do, Junghoon. You're all grown up now, and you're still growing. Even got yourself a girlfriend! From what I've heard from her, you're going to spend more time starting this month?”

But today’s a “cheat day,” as they would call it, for him. He didn’t have to make things harder for himself. On his own, he still got himself picking and choosing what clothes, from a collared shirt to newer jeans, to wear for an upcoming occasion.

He scratched his hair, chuckling at the mere thought itself. “I can also hope so...”

She leaned closer, tilting her head in anticipation, as well as feeling a sense of pride for her collegiate achievement. “I'm sure that should call for some form of celebration.”

“Actually, she insisted that we have lunch outside in an hour, so you figured it out.”

The woman clapped with glee. “That's wonderful! You better get dressed up nicely.”

“Will do... But do you want me to take something home?”

She shook her head, closing her eyes with her smile still wide, finding the situation more entertaining than the show on the screen playing right in front of her. “There’s no need, dear... You lovebirds have fun by yourselves.”

They’re already in the third week of August, and Xinyu has completed her three-month internship. Junghoon was more hopeful he would be able to see and bond more with her from that moment moving forward. As they had planned, they held a private celebration for themselves in the same restaurant in Keuri-go, where the cheers and laughter inside became five times louder than when they're not around.

“I, uhh, I got a modeling gig,” Xinyu confessed, hiding a smile even in her slight pause, waiting for Junghoon’s reaction as he took a good sip of his miso ramen broth.

Almost frozen for a second, the man had to clear the spice off his throat before he could finally congratulate her. “That's great!” He couldn't be happier for his girlfriend, though his ecstatic reaction wasn't without concern. “But, I’m just wondering. Won't it stand in the way of your internship, noona?” he added.

Without much worry in her face, she took a bigger bite of her fried prawn held by her chopsticks. “I'm finishing soon, anyway, so I think it's doable. They already have the paperworks ready, while I’m getting my certificate at the station.”

He knew she could handle it. The confidence and anticipation in her face and tone relieved any misgivings crawling into his heart. “I'm proud of you, noona…”

With a meeping face, the woman rubbed his chin. “Gomawo... How about you, babe?”

Junghoon gave his own share of updates, but he never confessed how strongly he felt. I've been missing you. To say the least, the romance between the two have been quite less adventurous and they only caught up during the weekends. For him, each meetup felt more and more like a blessing.

His grandmother sensed the grievances he had been burying and enduring for weeks. He never expected to feel shame or guilt for feeling like this, feeling that he's entitled.

“I wish you'd tell me how you're doing, Junghoon-ah… I couldn't always ask herself because she seems busier these days.”

“Joesonghamnida, halmeoni… She got a new gig for this month. She's gonna model.”

“Oh, wow! That's great for Shinwi. I was thinking if she’d also get into acting since her beauty and charisma suits it…” She clasped her hands together, suddenly radiating with amazement at his news. However, that didn’t take away her initial concern towards him. “But, umm, I really wanted to know if you're all right.”

“I'm proud of her,” he answered with a soft, pursed smile. “I mean, why wouldn’t I be?”

“I know you are, but your face is telling me something else. You've rarely spent time since she got her promotion at her internship, so I needed to check on my grandson.”

“I've been worse... But, umm, I really want to make this work. And ummm...” Something else had gotten his attention, and he didn't know whether to feel blessed or cautious, but the unexpected amount of supplies she had been bringing home alerted him more than his own conundrum. Supplies that were enough to last a couple of months. “Halmeoni. Where'd you get all these groceries?”

“Oh, umm, they were giving them around the food shelter... They were quite generous.”

Those words made him raise an eyebrow. It made him think about money, about debts. About his grandmother's well-being. “W--what were you doing at the shelter?”

The old woman exhaled heavily through her nose, sensing the unease and worry creeping up to Junghoon. “Don't worry about me too much, dear. They’re free…”

“But that's what I do. That's what I always do. I won't stop worrying about everything.”

Her hand landed on his right shoulder, tapping her fingers. “And I always appreciate it.”

"I don't want to keep worrying about you... Ever since my parents died, it's just, like I've always been that scared little boy that you found in the hospital bed. But I didn't care—I couldn’t… Because I also had to take care of you, halmeoni.”

That's what she had always wanted for him. To be there for him as he keeps studying. To be there whenever he’s simply accompanying her on their trips to the market. Whenever they’re just staying with him during the weekends or holidays. In spite of him ascending into adulthood, her grandson would always be of the utmost importance to her.

“We don't even do boarders anymore.” However, in spite of her hopes and contentment, more and more variables kept on surging across the man’s mind. “We don't have enough money to pay for the bills... Maybe for the next two to three months, I still can cover ‘em, but I still have to find a better-paying job than my gig—”

“Shhhh... Gwenchana. I got things covered. It’s funny we have Shinwi to thank for. We never had a tenant in years, yet she's been paying us like she’ll be here for a long time.”

With her point, she has been his girlfriend more than she's their tenant, and thinking of it conflicted him, mainly because the latter had become more of their situation as days passed. “Covered with what? With your pension? Savings? What else do we have?”

“Hey, hey…” she kept her tone leveled, even if he was riled up. “A boy your age shouldn't be worrying about these matters... You should be spending time with your girlfriend.”

“A boy my age? Halmeoni… A person with our background doesn't have that luxury.”

“That’s not what I mean, Junghoon-ie.”

He let out a sigh. “Maybe we wouldn't be having this conversation if it wasn’t for appa.”

For the first time in a while, Junghoon saw his grandmother’s eyes widened, as her lips curved into a frown of anguish and disappointment. Despite his stronger emotions, she was not having this conversation. “Your father was a good man.”

“Good?” His pitch raised, finding her well-intentioned remark absurd. “I remember him lending most of his earnings to scums he barely knew until he had almost nothing.”

“It was the only way he could protect you.” She kept going, but her compassionate tone has been tainted with cracks of guilt. “He did it for you and your mother.”

“If he truly wanted that for me, he would still be here with my mother!”

The elderly woman had done something she hasn't done in years, even if it might've given her discomfort. “Geum Junghoon! Don't speak like that about your parents.”

Immediate regret forced her to simmer down. “He might have made some questionable decisions, but not once has he ever made them to give you, give us a miserable life…”

He covered his face with both his hands, weighing himself down on them while he could feel his own blood boiling from shame and despondence. “Joesonghamnida, halmeoni,” he croaked. I didn't mean to raise my voice. I’m sorry… I even brought them up.”

“I know, dear. And it's okay. I'm sorry, too... I understand why you're feeling like this, how much you miss her, but that shouldn’t bring you down. Where we came from or how much money we have shouldn't stop you from making it work with Shinwi.”

“Well… I try not to.” He fixed his hair. “It’s just, she’s busier nowadays, probably more than me... We've talked about meeting anywhere other than here, but things tend to be delayed. She always gets home late at night. Instead of going to her actual home. And I know it's too much to ask of her, but noona hasn't been telling me as much now. Maybe I shouldn't think like this and complain, that I should just be grateful I'm even with her.”

“There’s nothing wrong about being worried about someone you love.”

Love? The word didn’t sound wrong in his ears. But, it was something that his mind was too hesitant to even consider. It’s something he uses to describe how he feels for his own friends. Junghoon liked, really liked—No, he was quite head over heels over Xinyu, and yet that special feeling was something that he felt was undeserving for him to describe.

His silence prompted her to continue. “Maybe… You should surprise her... That is, if you know where you'll be meeting next. Where you want to meet next.”

Nevertheless, whatever they had was something he couldn’t bear to lose. His grandma’s suggestion made him look up to show more of his attention. At least more about himself.

“It doesn’t have to be grand, but I’m sure you can spend more time with her whenever you find a time you’re both free… One that doesn't have to be outside, you know?”

While they found less time to spend outside the house, Junghoon was not willing to let that stale their relationship as soon as it was just blooming, simply because Xinyu had found a new adjustment to her own life. After all, they’ve made it work in the last three months with her internship. It was an early Friday morning when neither of them had anything on their plate, No classes or gigs. That's when they decided to cook lunch for each other, as if they were playing house, playing spouses without realizing or caring much about that sweet comparison. While Junghoon had been working on the main course, sundubu-jjigae, Xinyu worked on the fresh appetizers she suggested to him.

As soon as he stood next to her, the woman pulled him over with one hand, making him embrace her from behind without holding back. “This is the least I can do for living in a comfy and hospitable boarding house. A welcoming landlady… And a loving and caring roommate, like you.”

Junghoon started planting kisses on the woman’s neck, sucking off all sweat on its path like they were traces of nectar while she moaned with ecstasy, still hungering for more. The scent of the steam reaching her nostrils made her smile, hoping he’d entertain her.

“Is that what I am now, hmm?” he wondered, tracing his lips onto her neck’s right side while she sprinkled sesame seeds, the last touches of her salad, on the finished bowl.

The woman closed her eyes with delight as he slowly tasted her, still unable to resist her sweet and salty skin since they last touched. “Mmm-hmm…” She slowly turned around, giving into his smooth and seductive appeal by looking into his eyes. Xinyu pulled him much closer with ease, grappling him as he boldly made the first move to kiss her lips.

Xinyu’s reflexes prompted her hand to carefully move the bowl to the side, giving space for the counter. Junghoon sensed her movement, prompting him to give her the assist in sitting on the counter, deepening their kiss. Xinyu leaned down, not wanting to part her lips with his, letting him invade her mouth with his tongue. With Junghoon’s hands on her hips, she quickly wrapped her legs around his waist like a seatbelt. They broke their kiss after a long minute, to which he whispered to her, “You wanna take this elsewhere?”

“You know I don't wanna say no.” She latched on her lips back to his with a crazed smile, although she was still held back by a certain thought to deepen the sesh. “But the stew…”

For a moment, Junghoon walked to the stovetop, meticulously decreasing the power of the device to the lowest possible level and letting the stew simmer instead of boil. “I just lowered the heat, and it should be fine…” He walked back to her. “Give us enough time.”

With a soft giggle, Xinyu held onto his hands, nibbling on his ear. “Are you really this horny for me, Junghoon?”

The man leaned in to pepper a few more kisses on her collarbone. “You have no idea.”

Junghoon carried Xinyu off the counter, taking her all the way upstairs to his own room. As they reached his bed, she landed on his lap, she pushed him to lie on his back, before leaving him with the words, “I'll make it worth our time,” as she had taken off her shirt.

During this moment, Junghoon found himself reminiscing about the past two months they had. Things somewhat started fast. They were only kissing and flirting, but now, they’ve developed a routine the longer their relationship progresses. Their walks and wanders were spent outdoors, while their physical and emotional intimacies for one another exclusively remained indoors, where they—in two to three times—ignited.

“Oh, Jung-ah,” Xinyu moaned into their kiss while slowly climbing on Junghoon. The sloppiest it can get, but Junghoon doesn’t mind it. Rather, his girlfriend’s aggression would arouse and motivate him to keep up with her during their moments of physical release. He couldn't help but give her right ass cheek a long and firm squeeze, making her break the kiss with an enthusiastic yelp. “You just couldn’t resist me, can you?”

He could now feel his cock standing up on her entrance. “You know I fucking can’t.”

She helped him take off her clothes. With a millisecond of hesitation, Junghoon still accepted her assistance so she could take a better look at his chest and abdomen. But, despite his self-doubt, he almost forgot that his body had gradually changed ever since he started working out. This was a matter of time for the very woman he’s been working himself to see him in his molting process, and her reaction only diminished his queries. Her lips curled into a smile. “Is this why you've been building yourself up for a month?”

Rather than feel embarrassed or coyish in front of Xinyu, Junghoon’s driven to man up, just a little bit to maintain the mood. Even he was quite proud of his personal milestone, having been able to slim down, reduced most of his love handles and built and toned his muscles. “It’d be better if the results speak for themselves.”

“Now I can't wait,” she giggled, biting her lip. She took a deep breath, right as she pinned him onto the bed like a fox with her prey, ready to devour him. All of him.

From the surface of the table to the mattress, she taught Junghoon everything she knew, intimately speaking. Well, almost. Yet that didn't even matter to him. There were a lot of first times to everything. Whenever they’re spending time together, he begins to feel and experience an abundance of new sensations and explorations he never even imagined to begin with. “Noona,” he groaned while she savored his neck, hands, and went back onto his lips. “This feels so…” Those last two months, it built up to this unbridled moment.

It was exactly what they did the last couple of times, since they did it in the library. Savoring each other’s genitals, perhaps as the precursive appetizer of the morning.

Fueled by his lust, he deepened his voice before telling Xinyu the words, “Not so fast, missy.” He’s gotten her full attention and intrigue with her anticipatory grin.

Junghoon switched his place with hers, letting her lie on the bed and opening her legs while kneeling on the floor to her level. A much better angle, he thought, seeing Xinyu. Having treated their last activity in the periodicals, the man didn't want to treat this as another passion project. His passion has been elevated, sure, but he just wanted to love this woman with whatever she deserved. He wanted to prove he was also just as capable of serving her and pleasing her as she did during all their previous naughtier times. This time, he went straight into devouring her pussy like he was starving and thirsting for her juices since last time. His fiery aggression and meticulous aptitude of leading his tongue inside her most sensitive spots, moving it from left to right, up and down, like fingers on a phone screen playing a rhythm game with expertise as it built up pleasure in her cunt.

Within a few minutes, Xinyu hollered and climaxed right in front of Junghoon’s face, a sweet and sticky splash that he welcomed this time, now that he’s expected her release. Still fueled by his own excitement, Junghoon rushed to his desk to get a piece of tissue paper, wiping his face and the woman’s thighs off her own juices. However, just before he could, Xinyu mustered enough strength to slowly pull him back to bed, back to him planking above her. But, despite having lost some weight and maintaining his balance, he was still conscious about his own weight. “Am I crushing you, noona?”

“Aniya,” the woman immediately answered him with a provocative smirk. He kissed her with intensity, not caring less about what was next due to her validation and shared lust.

Now, their groins have begun grinding against each other in a much smoother rhythm. Despite being hindered by their own lips, both parties couldn’t muffle their own moans for long the longer Xinyu kept on moving her hips against her partner, silently guiding him into this fresh yet familiar movement, at least to her anyways. Junghoon had some inkling that they were taking things slow, having started touching each other in the last two months, about two to three times each. Now, it seemed that Xinyu would be taking them to the next base of their physical exercises. Despite her being the one lying on her back, she was able to pull Junghoon back into the bed, planking above her. The woman took the opportunity to pull down her boyfriend’s jogging pants, catching him off guard. “Noona… Are you sure?”

“Trust me… We're just… We're gonna try out something, if that's okay with you.”

“Of course.” After pulling down his joggers, Junghoon allowed Xinyu to take off her shorts as well, dropping them on the floor, exposing her thin panties to him. And yet, instead of completely taking off their undergarments, the woman pulled him closer as they entered another makeout session, unleashing their tongues for a salivating tango. For the first time, his member was pointing hard and straight in front of her cameltoe. The closer it got, the more shivers drove up Xinyu’s spine, amplifying her enthusiasm.

But Junghoon himself hasn’t gone through this scenario, nor expected it. “How do I—”

“Just follow my movement, okay?” she heaved with a warmer cadence. “I trust you.”

“Oh--okay,” he simply nodded with her initiative, leaning in to give her another kiss, the same moment he felt his girlfriend slowly moving his hips with her legs wrapped around his waist, immediately giving him the signal to follow her lead to thrust against her cunt. The movement wasn’t unfamiliar to him. Once more, he wouldn’t have a single clue with sex in general if it weren’t for his friends’ ounce of online perversion, but doing it proved to be quite different. Better, without a doubt, especially with someone this breathtaking.

Xinyu chuckled while her breath hitched, gleeful at her boyfriend’s slow and sudden aptitude. They both kept the pace of their groins at a slower speed, right until Xinyu wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned upward to kiss him once again, much more passionately. Their tongues wrestled, Junghoon felt a shiver through his spine. With their eyes closed, the man became invigorated, accelerating his pace the longer they made out on the full size bed with abandon. His thrusts accelerated into humps, making Xinyu yelp with surprise as she saw this not just as a mission of syncing their  rhythm to achieve a unitary sexual gratification, but also as some carnal competition that she was not willing to back down easily, no matter how deep she’s falling for him while their lips kept dancing and their groins continued colliding with high titillation.

Junghoon was becoming enthralled by Xinyu’s moans, akin to a spell, unaware it was her tactic while keeping herself together amidst the waves of pleasure spreading to their bodies. When the man was at his horniest and most vulnerable state, the tall woman got the upper hand, parting her lips and allowing herself to switch their places during the heat of the moment. Now she’s riding him like a stallion, albeit she carried the man’s hands onto her waist, maintaining her balance so she could keep up the joint rhythm. Through Junghoon’s eyes, Xinyu was an angel, nay, a goddess who was simply taking delight in his mortal flesh, and he wanted to feel that way. The harder and longer they grinded against each other, the higher their moans and groans got, deafening the fast squeaks of the bed for minutes. His endurance came into play a lot more compared to their last acts, such demanding exercise made him flex his abdomen while continuing his thrusts on her cunt. Xinyu took his right hand and placed it on her breasts, but he wanted to do her better, adding both hands on both mounds as he started massaging.

At this point, she simply couldn’t suppress her moans, now bouncing off the ceiling. Despite still pounding, her boyfriend felt more encouraged to join her symphony of hollers, feeling the buildup of fluids in their genitals reach beyond their limit. At the height of their climaxes, they came inside their undergarments within seconds. Her breath was ragged, more than last time. “Wha--what the fuck? Oh my God, babe…”

Junghoon turned his head to the side and coughed lightly. “Was it good?” he asked her.

Xinyu’s mind still felt unbalanced, when her surprise remained off the charts. “Good? You're underselling yourself, Junghoon-ah.”

He was just as lightheaded, seeing the woman’s face shining brightly. “So did you…”

She pursed her smiling lips, squinting her eyes before gently laying down on his chest. “How’d you know how to do it? You didn’t practice that either, did you?”

“Aniyo. Aniyo,” he shook his head. “This time, I don't think I’ve looked that one up.”

The woman broke into laughter just as she smacked his shoulder. “Yah! Where’d you learn to be so smooth like that? But, umm, I do wish we’d do it without these pants.”

It was a tempting yearning, but Junghoon was still reveling in the afterglow of pleasure while it slowly subsided his body. “Gwenchanayo, noona. It’s the best feeling I’ve had.”

“So far,” she whispered with a heavy breath. They both let out a relieving chuckle, barely remembering the times they have lost. Right now, their missed or cancelled plans in the past just didn't matter as much, though their priorities at the present still very much do. Hearing a hiss from downstairs, the raging stew inside the pot has been trembling to get out for the past eleven minutes, which was followed by the footsteps of his grandmother reaching their ears from downstairs, looking at the stovetop, now turned off. “Oh, shit!” Junghoon mumbled, quickly picking up his shirt and putting on his joggers in a hurry. “I’ll head downstairs first, noona… Take your time. I’ll handle it.”

He sprinted downstairs as soon as he got his oversized shirt back on. Xinyu chased after him two seconds later, finding themselves being welcomed by his grandmother, Byeolyi. The woman only stood right next to Junghoon, keeping both her hands behind her back.

“Ah, there you are!” The older woman put on a straight and innocent, perhaps almost too innocent, face greeting the couple. “I thought both of you went outside.”

“Mianhae, halmeoni… Xinyu-noona needed my help with something upstairs.”

The woman took another step closer to him. “Majago! He, uh, gave me an assist.”

She opened the pot lid to double-check. “It’s all right, you two. Nothing got burnt.”

He noticed the stovetop finally turned off and the appetizers placed on the dining table. “That's a relief. Thank you, halmeoni.”

“You might've actually helped the meat get more tender, so it ended up better.”

Xinyu couldn’t help but hide her smirk. “That was definitely Junghoon’s intention.”

“Delightful!” All three of them took a good look at their accomplishments this morning. The sundubu-jjigae on the pot, the big bowl of cucumber salad, and a plate of omelette. “I believe I should thank you for preparing all these meals. It's too much.”

Even the pair thought they could've cooked one more dish. “It's the least we could offer to you, halmeoni,” answered Xinyu on their behalf. Despite their perfectionist mindset, they had a relieving feeling that was enough, based on the bliss of Byeolyi’s bright face.

“And I can’t decline such a thoughtful offer.” She quickly got a stack of three bowls and three pairs of spoons and chopsticks from the lower cabinet shelf, which Xinyu rushed to assist. “Come on, let's get started before the rice gets cold, arasseo?”

Junghoon picked up a large ttukbaegi from the same shelf, using the ladle next to the pot to fill up the earthenware with the steaming stew. From a few feet away, he stole a few glances at the dining table, watching his grandmother and girlfriend setting up the table with utensils. Such a sight only left a soft smile on his face, his mind wishing they would get to spend more time like this. Simple and serene.

Despite having new courses and schedules to deal with, the state of classes between them remained more or less the same. Balancing his own life between studying and working was something he was able to get used to since the last years of high school, considering it was his two main priorities during weekdays. Now, in his third year in college, however, another aspect has been added to his plate: a romantic relationship. His besties and the Mad Money Club have always been people he made time with, but being Xinyu was, as he had realized many times now, new and different. His life could not be any more different.

“And wow… As both our calculations have confirmed, your grades had remained steadily high,” Professor Jeong juggled his vision between Junghoon, sitting on the chair in front of him, and his laptop screen with a humble smile. “If not a little higher.”

“Really, seonsaengnim?”

He nodded with a hopeful smile, confidence in his hum. “Just keep those grades up and steady until the end of the next semester, and you may just be able to graduate with not just a cum laude, but a magna cum laude.”

Even though that achievement was far from his main goal, hearing such a possibility from his own professor gave him some sense of hope at the thought that his fruits of labor had yet to spoil before they could bloom. “That'd be nice.”

And the professor could tell, sensing a sense of relief and contentment, rather than any dissatisfaction or yearning for more than what he's gotten now. “Well, uhh, if you don’t mind me asking, what do you want to do after you graduate, Junghoon-ah?”

Such a serious question delivered in a curious and somber tone gradually made him straighten his posture, like some applicant, who just got asked a much more serious question from a hiring manager. “I, ummm, I don’t think I’m sure, Professor.”

With a closed smile, the professor nodded as he chuckled. “That's a perfectly normal response, Junghoon-ah. A lot of your classmates also expressed similar sentiments. Considering you're still in your junior year, you still have time to ponder about it.”

“I mean... I've been working on a good amount of gigs and part-time jobs, seonsaengnim. Some would think, maybe a little more than I should.”

“It's not too bad to slow down sometimes. You have plenty of time on your side.”

To some extent, the young man agreed. But time wasn't enough. Maybe he was thinking of his relationship. Perhaps he needed more time, but he had to look on the bright side. She only had less than a month, anyways.  “I understand…” he nodded.

The professor began to type rapidly as soon as he gave him more advice. “The best I can give you are some referrals for next year. During your internship.”

Pride was something he had rarely held back. “Seonsaengnim… You don't have to.”

“We have to, and I want to.” He tapped his fingers on the desks three times, evoking the same effect as a gavel. “That's the least professors can do for their students, Junghoon... Especially when we know how much they're doing their best even if things.”

But hope was something his spirit has always been yearning to hear. “Kamsahamnida.”

Later that night, Junghoon received a signal from Xinyu through text, as she would whenever they’re both home.

[Come on in… /ᐠ > ˕ <マ ₊˚⊹♡]

These invitations to her room allowed for the couple to spend a little but wholehearted moment, no matter how late the evening was. It was not always a night of naughty and passionate activities. It could be as unruffled as lying down in each other’s arms while they argued about the best show that’s airing or introducing each other to new music.

“Have you thought about what you want to do after graduation?” the man asked.

She looked up at him with interest. “You’re already thinking about that, baby?”

“Well... I'm just curious. That's all.” There was really no other way of putting it.

“Hmmm... I'm not sure,” she chuckled, recalling a certain memory. “But I do remember telling my parents how much I wanted to go to a lot of colleges that had performing arts. There's Yale, Juilliard, Berklee...”

“Juilliard? Berklee? Those names all sound Western… You wanted to go to America?”

“Uh-huh. They’re in the United States…” She took a deep sigh, her wistful smile fading right after. “I mean, we’ve spent some time there when I was younger. When I was still in middle school, I looked up a lot of academies to go to, but he was handling business as usual, and, of course, we had to stay here. And so, after they got bummed out by my deep teenage angst and disappointment, my Ma and Pa made a promise to me…”

“And that is?”

“After graduation, I was quite sure I was gonna study in college at an arts university of my choice. One where I could express myself more within those next four years. Years when I thought I could party with fellow youngsters my age.”

“Ah… That’s not too bad of a plan, actually.”

“What's funny is that I really believed that promise…” she chuckled, resting her chin on her hand. “I even remember making up a contract and everything, which all three of us signed. I had to talk to them at their professional level, not like I was one of their daughters… just so they could take me seriously.”

“I’m guessing it didn't turn out as well as you thought?”

“Well, the family business went well. Surprisingly well, really. Although, as you can see right before you, I still ended up enrolling here instead... No offense to Seoul State.”

“I'm sorry it happened that way, noona…”

She shook her head, her guilt almost apparent. “Don't be... I have some time for myself. I met the girls... I got to join the Thespians. That's the closest thing I had to acting my bum out like I was on Broadway. I was living the dream I had in my childhood.”

Junghoon chuckled at her recollection, while she turned to take a moment to look at him. Small dimples forming under both of his cheeks ‘cause of his suppressed smile.

“And of course, I met you…” she confessed. “It's weird to admit it... Well, no, not really. I'm just glad things went this way.” She placed her hand on his. “I couldn't be happier.”

A part of him couldn't take this much praise from someone. “I, umm, I’m glad too.” More than you know, he kept in his head.

She peppered kisses into his neck, snuggling into his chest. “We have each other, babe... I don't care where I'll be. Where I'll work or where I'll end up, I don't care, to be honest... As long as I have you with me.”

He leaned down into her forehead, giving it a soft kiss and making her close her eyes with her cheeks warming up. “As long as I'm with you, noona.”

= = = =

September has come, and not much has changed in the state of Xinyu and Junghoon’s relationship, except for things being a lot rockier. Silent mode has become the norm in their phones. Mornings often ended up with him eating the meals he prepared and the hot drinks he brewed. Calls were often sent to voice mails. He had nobody else to go to, confide in. Except for the other people he has known his whole life.

With Junghoon spending less time with Xinyu on weekdays, he would notice how often his grandmother continued with her weekly outings. Most of him was happy that things were returning to normal to some extent. It gave him a sense of solidarity and assurance that he wasn't the only one who’s living a routine in the name of their own development. As much as he didn't like to admit it, allowing her to bring home free food or ingredients from the shelter lessened their expenses to a significant degree. It got him more familiar with the seasons of some fruits and vegetables, it piqued his interest to cook more often.

For this month, boiled corn was on the menu, and their supply almost couldn't stop him from gobbling down a cob like a hog. Of course, the improvement in his body made him slow down his chewing, before telling himself he could burn the three portions with an afternoon jog, as if this morning or the previous afternoon or morning wasn’t enough.

And yet, that didn't stop him from keeping his watch over his grandma’s daily routine every time she left the house with her jacket and slacks. “The neighbors didn't tell me anything about a new trip,” Junghoon immediately asked her from the dining table.

“Oh, we're still planning for this month... We're making sure we don't end up ruining Chuseok on our calendars…” she grinned. “Unless you want that for you and Shinwi.”

The man shook his head, instinctively hiding his smile as thoughts, both pure and otherwise, began flashing in his head. “What do you mean, halmeoni?”

The elderly woman laughed at his humorous suspicion, expecting the reaction.“I'm just joshing with you, kid. That shouldn't be any of my business... That being said, I will be heading out of town this weekend. I won't likely be home til Sunday night.”

His head tilted to the side, raising his right eyebrow in confusion. “On your own?”

The older woman could almost groan at his worry. “Come on, I'll be okay, Junghoon-ie. When was the last time I needed to go to the hospital? When do I need new medicine?”

He could only be grateful for that, but caring about a loved one for him was basically the same as breathing. “I get your point... But, I'm just making sure you—”

“I still remember. All the protocols you and the doctors had set for me. I may be old, but I have yet to forget... Old age runs in our family, you know?”

“Yeah…” This light-hearted remark gave the young man a wistful yet bitter reminder. “So, where will you be going?”

“I will be going to Daegu.”

For a moment, that name blanked his mind. “You mean…”

Byeolyi let out a hopeful smile. “I am. I'm visiting your aunt and uncle.”

Then, all the once, his memories of the countryside began to crash like a flash flood. “Oh... That's, ummm, that's great.”

Her right hand rested on her left before slowly walking to him. “I know you got off on the wrong foot, the last time you were together, but they're not one to hold grudges… You were still young back then.”

Like a keyboard, the young man tapped his fingers on the table. “I know, halmeoni.”

“Then you remember that you haven't seen your cousins, how they've been doing since,” she continued, hoping to raise his spirits. “Hyungmin just graduated this year. Soomin’s all grown up now, too. I know you used to play a lot at their home when you were little.”

Junghoon only pursed his lips, slowly nodding with a chuckle. Not all memories were bad. “Well… If it's okay with you, say hi to them for me.”

She patted his back. “Of course, I will! It's the least I can do, dear. And who knows? Maybe we can visit them together by Christmas? Or during your semester break? It would really be nice to go somewhere without so much smoke everywhere.”

Changes were coming to his life, and they can be quite terrifying. “Uhh, I don't know yet, I can definitely check my calendar... But I wouldn't mind going there some time.” But he would rather steer it in a more positive path, as much as he could.

“That's what I'd like to hear.” The woman walked away from the table towards the door.

He straightened his posture, almost standing up from his seat. “Wait… Where are you going? It's only Friday.”

“I'll be heading out with the neighbors…” She stopped her tracks as soon as her hand reached the door. “And no, we're not going out of town, so don't come trailing us.”

“Okay, okay. I won't.” He waved his hand as she exited the door. “Take care, halmeoni.”

Ever since Xinyu took the modeling gig, Junghoon had seen her walk in and out of her room in an assortment of outfits she first brought when she moved in. Last month, she used to leave the boarding house every morning or afternoon with an enchanting kiss to his lips or either of his cheeks. However, given her rising reputation, it gave him varying reactions. He saw a princess, a queen and a goddess all in one, residing in his home. But campus was no different, considering his impulse to scroll through her new social posts, mainly ones from her modeling agency and events. Or at least whenever he’s fought the urge to use his phone, someone else around him would end up doing the same routine.

“Isn't that Zhou Xinyu-sunbaenim?”

“That’s one-hundred percent her! Damn, she's always fine as hell… That's a tight fit.”

“Oh, yeah. You think she's seeing one of those models?”

“Well, she’s into girls, right? There’s like, a lot of them there.”

“I think she’s bi or pan or—anyways, I don't see why she can't start dating again.”

“I heard her breakup with Park Sohyun-sunbaenim was tough.”

“True… But then again, nothing wrong with meeting new faces or sleeping around. I think it's almost been a year, too…”

“Only someone on her level would even get the chance to hit on someone like her! Like you either gotta be filthy rich, fit as fuck, hella good-looking too, or all of the above!”

If the weight of his own doubts and mocking hesitations in his mind weren’t enough, real ones around him had fueled them even more. He became insecure and, at times, overprotective, as much he hated it. If he spent more time with his phone or desktop scrolling through dozens of reels and posts, Junghoon feared he would be no different than the men and women who were infatuated with her, that he’d be obsessed with his own girlfriend throughout their growing distance.

But, later that night, he finally found himself in a more vulnerable and closer connection with Xinyu. For the first time in a while, she’s here, staying tonight with him, holding each other’s hands, sharing each other’s attention and warmth under the room’s dim light, keeping themselves reserved, in spite of their deepest desire to stay with each other. Without anyone else in the house, they could’ve done anything their hearts desired.

“I know we haven't been talking lately because I didn't know a modeling gig would be this... Serious, to be honest. I didn't expect to enter this field when I'm a comms major who just interned at a media company... for three months!”

Junghoon didn't either, but he has learned to live with the change, as sudden as it was. Whenever she wasn't around, he could only hope and pray that Xinyu herself was still holding up in his absence. Sensing the catharsis in her since she opened up to him for the first time in weeks, he continued to listen to the girl with his homogenized gaze of concern and admiration for how far she has come in this new frontier.

“Like this is a lot…” she continued. “It feels like an actual job at this point, sometimes I almost missed my classes, if it weren’t for Nien-ah or Yuki-chan keeping me on time…”

“You better not miss your classes…” Junghoon teased him with a deadpan warning, adding in a chuckle while poking his finger on her nose so she could read his mood.

“Wae?” Xinyu leaned closer, fascinated by him. “Are you gonna attend them if I did?”

He didn’t deny her taunts. “If only I could… But, even if that's possible, you still gotta deal with your own thesis, because I honestly don't know many of your classmates.”

“That's your problem?” she scoffed in surprise. “Not the thought of making my thesis?”

“It’s not the first time I've helped someone, anyone, with their project, so why not?”

Xinyu’s gaze was still focused on him. Her playful facade faded, yet the care for him remained through her attentive stare, endearing smile, and smooth hands. “That’s sweet. I won't accept it, though. You already have things on your plate.”

“That’s fair.” He paused briefly. “But… You love doing it, right? The modeling, I mean.”

The woman looked down for a moment. With her closed smile, she nodded slowly. “I do, Junghoon-ah... Weirdly enough, modeling is the one thing that keeps me from quitting the gig. Not the spontaneous scheduling and the additional dieting. Not even the pay.”

He rubbed her fingers. Something in him wanted to tell her not to put too much high pressure or expectation on herself. “I just hope you're getting enough food and rest at work.” But he couldn’t. He assumed she would already be aware of those things.

“I'm doing okay, babe…” At that moment, she steered the conversation. “And ummm, I also heard from some of the Thespians and the club how you've been asking about me.”

She intended to have the talk away from just herself, and more about him. About them. “Mianhaeyo, noona. I didn't mean to pry too much.”

After all, he could see her on campus nowadays with her appearances on social media from his screen, but he didn't blame her for having a demanding, yet fairly rewarding job. Maybe, he just didn't expect to miss this woman to this extent.

With a look of sorrow, she placed her palm on his face. “Don't be. I just wish you'd call me or knock on my door whenever you can... I mean, you're my boyfriend, Junghoon.”

“I didn't want to ask you first, because I feel like I'd be too invasive…” Now’s not the time to keep holding back. “But I wanna know if everything's all right.”

“Well, setting my whole new job aside, my situation at home isn't the best right now…” She took a deep sigh, before telling him, “Especially with my parents being there.”

The mention of her parents filled both a sense of nervousness and inquisitiveness in his mind, considering their daughter’s living here in this house within the past few months. “They're here in Korea right now? I thought they were only paying a visit every month?”

“That’s what I thought, too... That was always 'the plan.' And then, they got here two weeks ago, for reasons they've always told me before... Business fucking reasons.”

But enough with how he was feeling. “That must be tough, noona... I'm sorry.”

Xinyu kept up with her prideful stance, despite her spiteful cadence. “They practically turned my own place into their second office, so what the hell am I gonna do there?”

“They, uhh, didn't follow you here?”

“No. Not that I know of,” she clarified, patting his right hand. “To my surprise, Mr. Yi kept his word... Our official statement: I moved into the same town as Seoyeon-ah's place. I mean, it's the closest member to this place, not to mention the campus.”

“Then I'm assuming Seoyeon-noona knows of your situation, too?”

She gave him a look of reassurance. “She does. She'd freak the eff out if some of my bodyguards just end up calling her number to ask about my whereabouts…”

Her remark made him chuckle. “That’s a pretty clever way of… lying to them?”

She joined his laughter. “It’s convincing enough, I guess…” However, this brief and lighthearted reaction wasn’t enough to cover the bitterness she had been hiding and carrying the more she recalled them to him. “Besides, you think they would actually care about where I go? Before I moved in here, they told me, I wouldn't last another semester alone without them. I mean, who am I to argue? They’re just both my parents!”

His subconscious remained apologetic, defensive. “I know I don't know them very much, but I'm sure they still care about you in some way, noona.”

“You care, Junghoon…” Her voice sharpened, as with her widened stare coming off as corrective. “You, the girls, your halmeoni, even my friends outside the club. You’re the only ones who cared when I was my lowest.” Her voice cracked, although he spotted no tears in her eyes. “When I feel so lost…and alone.”

Feeling his heart melt by her candor and closeness, Junghoon intertwined her fingers with his, slowly pulling it close to his chest. “I'll always be here.”

With no words left to spare, Xinyu closed her eyes and leaned her lips close to him. The man placed his other hand on her hand. Making out hasn't felt this needed, demanded, but they're desperate for each other’s touch, smell, and taste. It's only been weeks since their last intimate and mischievous moment, but they have already lost track of time. In seconds, they deepened the kiss thanks to being fueled by their shared libidinal hunger. Junghoon’s tongue entered inside a more submissive Xinyu’s mouth, but hers welcomed him into another dance as her hand pulled him into the bed, slowly leaning into the wall.

“You… like me in… this outfit?” she asked him with a luscious and purry tone in-between kisses, a powerful combination that sent shivers through his spine. Her question made him examine her outfit from her recent project, still wearing it on her way home. Such a fit and elegant dress revealed the shape of her curves, something that made Junghoon's mouth water even before Xinyu kissed him.

“I like you in every outfit, noona,” he couldn’t help but confess, making her giggle.

“Xinyu-yah,” she corrected him with a straight face and suddenly innocent smile.

“Hmmm?” he asked while kissing on her neck and moving down to her collarbone.

“Just call me by my name, Junghoon-ie.”

Her request made him freeze for a while, but it gave him a boost. “Arasseo, Xinyu-yah.”

The way he spoke her name without honorifics made her growl before continuing their kiss with intensity. “You’ve treated me so well, babe,” she cooed next to his ear, leaning closer while he felt her lips creating more smooching sounds with their saliva. Junghoon could not help but close his eyes shut, letting her alluring gestures drop into his senses while his ears began to listen to their bombardment of kisses like music. His right hand slowly held her wrist, but he didn’t have the strength to tug her. Instead of speaking, his words of pleas had devolved into mumbles rooted out of stimulation—trickling from his skin, down to his lower regions. “I don’t know—” Her lips would part from his ear for a split second, only to return onto the side of his neck, latching onto his fresh, salty nectar, like a seductive vampire. “How I can… repay—uuunnngghhh—you… Junghoon-ie.”

“Xinyu-yahhh…” he groaned, feeling the tingles surging on his member while she kept licking him up like a popsicle on this humid summer afternoon. “Hnnnnggghhh…” But it’s not the usual popsicle she’s been taking in. Her left palm descended down his waist while she turned her head to the side and pulled him closer to her, prolonging the kiss.

It's only been months since Junghoon gave in to his burning urges. Since she allowed him to touch her. In his mind and heart, kissing Xinyu was initially a romantic session to relish while they were alone, but the longer he thought about it… There was more to it. The flame grew, fueling his appetite to explore beyond the lips. Tasting her lips and moving her tongue as long as either of them craved, the woman lifted his right wrist, guiding him from her waist up on her breasts under her shirt. He peeked through his squinted eyes, inevitably falling into the temptation of massaging them through her bra.

If her modeling outfit was already enough to make his mouth drool and member rock hard, Xinyu took off her top first, leaving her with her black bra under her transparent straps. Unlocked with ease, the woman gave him an elbow room of touching her breasts with his moist palms. The first time he’s seen Xinyu’s upper body in its full naked glory, Junghoon’s unrealized curiosity allowed him to give each of her nipples a light pinch, making her squeal and eyes twitch at the sudden arousal she felt from his fingers. The woman could only bite her lower lip. “Mmmmnngghhh…” Her muffled groans made him change his move by parting his lips from her neck and crashing them to her areolae, enabling his tongue to lick on her nipples, getting a taste of her sweat and trace of lotion.

Xinyu couldn't hold it in as her groans broke into moans of stimulation, desperately driving her to latch her hand onto his hardened bulge through his shorts. Junghoon twitched at her gesture, but it only made him kiss her chin as her neck instinctively arched backwards with eyes closed. The man went back to her lips; both of his hands returned to kneading her tits in circular motions. At the same moment, Xinyu matched his unrestrained energy by taking off his shorts and dropping them to the floor with her eyes half-closed, and as she pulled off his underwear down his legs, his cock sprung up, widening her eyes with jubilance. Junghoon sensed her excitement, breaking their kiss so she could catch her breath, and take a better look at his manhood.

“I see someone’s already missed me,” she giggled, making him follow her laughter. He missed this, these simple exchanges of quips and laughter while touching naughtily.

“How could I not?” he shot back with a restless grin. His index finger and thumb gave her nipple a squeeze, making Xinyu yelp once again out of surprise at his lewdness.

Amused by his simple yet captivating responses, the woman pinned him on the bed before kneeling on the carpeted floor, keeping her hands and eyes on his cock’s level. Junghoon didn’t speak a word at the moment Xinyu started bobbing her head up and down, letting her mouth sucked on his throbbing member with her saliva. She sucked his cock a few times, sure, but something within Junghoon was still pulling him like a bundle of strings, and only the woman he’s entangled with could pretty much fix this immobilizing conundrum, embedded by his chronic insecurities and low self-esteem. Nevertheless, his months of working and improving his body boosted his confidence, enough to shake his misgivings off for the sake of spending more time with his lover. Junghoon let himself lean slightly backwards and facing the ceiling with satisfaction, encouraging Xinyu to accelerate her pace to continue the shivers building up on his spine, as well as the electrifying stimulation channeling from his balls to his cock.

With one last loud growl from the top of his lungs, Junghoon fired his splatter of semen straight inside Xinyu’s mouth, hearing an audible pop once his cum had discharged. He pulled her closer so they could share another heated kiss, indifferent of how many times he’s tasted his warm essence through her mouth. At this point, kissing Xinyu with a hot, burning passion has become an addiction for Junghoon, as the woman would also keep melting and falling for him every time their lips entangled. Eventually, he gently pushed her into the bed, although Xinyu still grasped his member. The man had a hunch, seeing their genitals aligned from a close distance, and he did not know whether to stop or keep going until he had her word.

He knew the obvious reason why they rarely took the next step, but her movement was washing his head with conflicting emotions of anticipation and hesitance. Anticipation from his excited body’s yearning towards his lover, while hesitance from his rationale, including their mostly unspoken agreement for never ‘crossing that line’ in their past sexual encounters. “Xinyu-yah… Don't we need a con—”

She placed her hands on his face, completely aware of his worries. “I know. It’s okay… I'm safe, baby…” Her words wore down his nervousness, allowing his vigor to rise up. “Just let me guide you first.”

Regardless of his own personal research, he always trusted Xinyu when it came to these situations when they finally took place. Even at this point, his heart would continue to do so. He was a virgin way before this, after all. Despite being the one in the bottom of their position, the woman continued to align her entrance into his erect member with ease. Slowly, she inched herself while pulling him closer. Junghoon felt his cock entering her cunt like a key inside a hole. He never expected a woman’s canal to be this tight, but it compelled him to keep going, slowly and steadily, thanks to her unhurried movement and validating noises, pleading the words to keep going alongside her calling him either baby, babe, or Junghoon-ie despite being constantly catching her breath, feeling herself get stretched for the first time in a long time, a hedonic sensation she’s almost forgotten.

Neither of them would’ve expected to be in this situation: him rearranging her insides while their cacophonous moans of stimulation echoed across the room the stronger his continued pounding got every second, each of which only made his grunts louder along with the sounds of the squeaking bed and her angelic moans rising in pitch. Meanwhile, Xinyu kept her right hand holding onto Junghoon’s back, while her left hand anchored on the headboard behind her. Concern would have kept running around his mind if his girlfriend kept hitting her head on the wooden board, but thankfully, they had the space and rhythm to keep grinding against each other without inconvenience. Such a flaming intensity they created with their bodies forced Junghoon to look down on the mattress, while Xinyu cried as she looked up the ceiling with arousal. While her erogenous zones welcomed his pumps, her eyes kept on switching from being wide open to closed shut.

 But Junghoon suddenly leaned closer to her neck and began to lick her dripping sweat. “Nnnnggghh…” Xinyu was now reaching the limit of her endurance. “I’mm—I’m close!”

“I’m—I’m—Fuck!” Junghoon’s pleas caught up not long after. “I’m gonna—fuck Xiny—”

“In—side! Jebal!” Even with her eyes half-shut, the woman begged him right next to his left ear. The man came inside her womb, just about five seconds after she did. Junghoon kept his elbows on the bed between Xinyu; the two of them recuperated while still facing each other. In his mind, the man compared their activity to him jogging two miles for an hour, including a similar feeling to the runner’s high, which always kept him on his feet. The sense of relief in their chuckling breaths made Xinyu hunger for his lips once again.

As soon as their lips parted with a trail of saliva, Junghoon lied down in the space next to her, still caught off guard by her new decision, almost breathless and dumbfounded by the fact that they did it. Xinyu leaned closer to his face, her face resting on her right palm with a curious look right after hearing him chuckle and abruptly curse at himself with disbelief. “What’s the matter, hmmm?”

“It’s just…” He took another breath before clearing his voice for her to understand. “We’ve never reached this far. I thought we weren’t gonna do it.”

“I thought so too, but, ummm…” She was willing to eat her own words. “Did you like it?”

He was still collecting his thoughts, but her question made him nod rapidly, much to her amusement and appreciation. “I--I did, noona. But, maybe we can take things slow—”

“Xinyu-yah,” she interjected with a huff, her eyes never tired of him or of his body.

“Oh, right,” Junghoon chuckled, forgetting their agreement just several minutes ago. “My bad, Xinyu-yah… I was hoping we could take it a little slower, if you’d like that.”

“Gwenchana, babe…” She rubbed his cheek, warming him up amidst the cold whispers of the room. She would lean closer to his face to tell him, “Let’s take our time tonight…”

And with her signal, Junghoon passionately kissed her, slowly allowing his right hand to reach her wet vulva, starting with her clit, before moving his two fingers down onto her vagina. He could only thank the heavens for making time to trim his fingernails recently, otherwise, this would’ve been less pleasurable for Xinyu. Playing her cooch like a string instrument in the form of circular motions, he went on to leave hickeys on her neck as her pleasure doubled within seconds. Biting her lip, the woman kept her hand on his shaft, easily jacking him off thanks to the traces of her saliva lubricating all her fingers. Despite no words coming from either mouth, the couple sped up the movement of their hand, subconsciously triggering a competition on who could make the other come first. The man inched his head closer to her armpit as it raised, licking the sweat off her skin like it was a salt lick. “Ngghhhh… What the hell? That's—ugh—so good,” she mumbled, finding it strange that she’s feeling intense arousal towards his strange and sudden trick.

Rather than let her lover keep getting the upper hand with his enticing barrage of kisses, Xinyu exerted more strength into her right palm, slightly pushing Junghoon away so she could pounce on his chest, giving each of his nipples a nibble. “Fuck! Nggggoooooona,” Junghoon yelped, but hearing the term leave his mouth only encouraged the woman to go for a second bite. He could only whimper, “Mianhae, Xinyu-yah!” but the seminal pressure building up on his manhood was already overwhelming, making him grimace before adding in a third finger inside her hole, taking her by surprise with a squeal as her breath shortened. Their stamina was nearing its limit, though more on Junghoon.

Paralyzed by pleasure, he couldn’t tone down his moans as his cock was already in its fullest capacity. With his remaining strength, he continued fingering Xinyu until her moans slowly synced with his. Eight more seconds later, Junghoon sprayed his semen on his girlfriend’s stomach, while the woman’s juices squirted finally about two seconds after him due to his latent tactic infiltrating her cunt with his triple fingers. Both of them have just relubricated each other, inciting a chuckle of relief and content from the couple through their embrace. “I win,” Xinyu mumbled, smirking inches away from his face.

“Hmm... You kinda cheated…” Junghoon taunted, patting her on the back, but she was right. A small nerve was struck, but he knew that, in a sense, both of them still won for successfully pleasuring each other. “But sure.”

“There were rules?” she questioned, resting her chin on his left shoulder to tease him. “You’re the one who put three fingers inside me.” Despite her intention, Junghoon felt euphoric that she was resting on him, feeling her breathing like it was a soothing song. Their nostrils find comfort in one another’s scents. Xinyu’s sharp scent could still smell the mixed remnants of onions, garlic, smoked meat, bread, vanilla, and even chocolate from his shift at the restaurant hours ago. Junghoon had caught onto the sophisticated perfume she must’ve gotten as a gift and the conditioner she had used at her recent gig. Aside from their demand to feel the other’s bodies, those simple, grounded realizations were more than enough to make them keep going.

“Just wanted to get in your level…” he admitted. “How can I live up to Zhou Xinyu?”

With a snicker, she pecked him on his cheek. “You already have, babe… Next round?”

“I’m putting it in again, Xinyu-yah,” he exhaled from the top of his lungs, shivering his hesitations off his body while he gently entered her hole for the second time. With her now sitting on his lap, their lustful excitement has yet to dwindle. From this position, Xinyu felt shakier and lightheaded, getting impaled by his cock the more she lowered herself on him, but she couldn't stop herself until half of him had made it inside her.

Her boyfriend gently pulled her inwards with his arms around her slippery shoulders. Through their smooth coordination and lubrication, Junghoon entered Xinyu’s pussy faster once he began to thrust his hips. “You’re…sooo…mmmmggghhh…big, Junghoon,” whispered the woman, driving her into kissing and licking the side of his right ear until a trail of saliva would drip from her lower lip into his helix.

Provoked by each other’s lust, the man squeezed and spread her butt cheeks with both hands, inciting a louder pitch of moans from Xinyu, instinctively tangling her lips with his until they had to catch their breath. Within the seventh minute of thrusting, their pace had already surpassed their last session. Her fingernails began to dig through the skin of his shoulders. He felt the stings in a swift succession, almost all at once, but his body had gone on autopilot, and her claws were the trigger for him to widen and speed up the movement of his hips, flexing his abdomen inwards despite the soreness starting to prickle in his muscles as he continued to thrust in and out out of her vagina without breaking their rhythm. While nothing intelligible was going on inside his mind, his cock had reached deep into her cervix, already hitting multiple sensitive spots in the process, as her stimulating moans of praise would imply.

“Yes… Mnnnngggghhh, fuck yes, babe! Go faaaaaauuuugghh!” the woman gasped, maintaining her gaze at him no matter how often she was flinching. The scorching dryness on her throat made her stick her tongue out for him to witness. Her action mirrored a thirsty fox begging, and the harder Junghoon got from seeing her in this expression, the more he was persuaded by his own libido to crash his lips onto hers, accumulating a sense of hydration every time their saliva exchanged.

Despite merely following his instincts, Xinyu wrangled her fingers around him while their tongues wrestled into another stalemate amidst the noise of their slapping skins. As minutes would go by, both parties’ consciousness began to lose focus, balancing the influx in stimulation spiraling across their respective erogenous zones.

This time, Xinyu came first, but Junghoon was close. As her voice was getting hoarse from moaning in bliss, Junghoon busted inside her womb again, feeling the shivers of both his and her legs. Unlike last round, their eyes were locked into each other’s. For the nth time, they felt a magnetizing emanation towards each other’s lips despite their lack of breath. They gave in without an ounce of hesitation, even letting their tongues dance for a moment while their bodies descended onto the bed, facing each other side to side, with Xinyu’s back lying against the wall and Junghoon still having a foot of allowance that kept him from hitting the floor. He inched away from her to pull his member out of her entrance, still dripping with his warm seed.

“So that's how it feels,” he heaved through the sound of his heartbeat calming down alongside her. Nothing a good, warm postcoital hug couldn’t fix.

Xinyu giggled while heavily breathing through her mouth and nostrils. “Mmm-hmm…”

Their breathing slowing down in sync, Xinyu rested her forehead on her partner. She felt the movement of his legs, but alerted by her own intuition, she mustered enough strength to weigh him down, making Junghoon gently wrap his arms around her.

“Gajima…” she muttered weakly, pulling him closer despite the clear absence of space. They're already huddled as tightly as their bodies could.

Seeing it in his reach, he kissed her humid forehead. “I…” His heart was strong enough to push his mind into saying it. Those three words. “I’m not… going anywhere, noona.” It's too soon, he reasoned out his hesitation. But this should be enough. Forget about everyone, and everything else. She's enough.

As minutes passed, Xinyu’s desk now contained two glasses of water, both half-empty. Back in bed, the two returned to cuddling in conversation under the blanket. Still lying in each other’s seminaked bodies, wrapped in each other’s arms. After apologizing for failing to keep her nails from digging into his skin, Xinyu slid her fingers on his chest, inching closer next to his face. “Sooo... Why is it just you in the house this weekend? Especially with Chuseok around the corner, I expected things to be emptier here.”

“Well, even if I’m at classes or work, halmeoni has actually been visiting our relatives in Daegu for weeks now,” he explained, caressing the woman’s scruffy hair. “She travels to our hometown almost every weekend, so that’s pretty much her new hobby.”

“Oh…” Xinyu was curious as she was clueless, recalling how much she knew about Junghoon. “You never mentioned your relatives or family. But I do remember you mentioning Daegu a couple of times with Hyerin-ah or Soda.”

He himself felt a sting of guilt for letting that remain the case for too long. “Yeah… I haven’t kept in touch with my relatives for a long time actually, but halmeoni’s been nagging me to visit them with her one day. So, I’m actually considering that.”

“That’s great!” Xinyu cheered, which surprised him a little, adding more fuel to the fluttering in his heart. “I’m hoping you guys will get to reconnect more often.”

“Maybe I could…” He nodded slowly. “During our semester break or another holiday…”

And yet, his lukewarm response gave Xinyu a smooth segue. Something she must have been thinking and considering in spite of their distance. “Speaking of semester break, I was thinking if when you’re free, we could do something by ourselves… I know you said you’re going to work a little more—”

“It’s okay, noona… You can spill it out.” Junghoon gave her forehead a long smooch, before locking eyes with her. “You know I’ll make time for us, right? Whatever it is.”

Xinyu lowered her head as soon as she felt warmth forming on her cheeks. Nevertheless, she couldn’t help but be reassured and feel enthusiastic by her boyfriend’s words. “And I know that graduation’s still next year for me, but maybe we can plan more dates or take weekend trips... We can take halmeoni if she’d want, or even our friend groups. We can go camping somewhere in Gyeonggi-do, or—ooh—even Daegu!”

For that to happen, Junghoon knew that they would have to be less secretive about their relationship to everyone else. There was a glimmer of hope lingering within his spirit, as if the divine was giving him a blessed sign of what was to come for them. Make up for lost time.

“Where’d you get those ideas?” he asked her with a widening smile.

“Just been thinking of it for a while now… Does any of it intrigue you a bit?”

He managed to keep a straight face, but her mere ramblings somehow sounded like profound and harmonious lyrics to a song, much like their unfiltered talks and listens from months earlier. Even if it was still wishful thinking, he was yearning for more. “I would love that, noona.”

Xinyu was smiling from ear to ear, her eyes sparkled with anticipation. “Which one?”

“Any one with you in it,” he admitted with a chuckle.

“Yah!” Xinyu pouted, slowly scrunching her nose at his playful jeer, even if he meant it. Still, she sensed his sincerity in his expression, making her wrap her long, loving arms around him moderately tighter than before. “You better stand by that, Junghoon-ie.”

Junghoon’s mind became sound and peaceful that night just as his heart couldn't have felt any more complete with Xinyu, believing they had relit that same spark. However, even as if one of his dreams turned into a miraculous and unexpected reality…

One school day, he found the door to the Mad Money Club’s room, finding someone… Someone he hasn’t seen in a long time. One he never expected to come back this soon.

“Junghoon-ah,” he heard that same low-toned voice before the woman turned around.

“Sohyun-noona,” he rushed in front of her in excitement. “I can’t believe it… When did you return to Korea? The club will definitely miss you, now that you’re back!”

A strong stroke of wind closes the door right before him. He’s locked in with his sunbae.

“All I did was leave to find myself,” she steps closer, prompting Junghoon to take a few steps backwards, feeling intimidated by her sudden dreadful demeanor. “And you just went your way to woo and win my girlfriend’s heart. You piece of shit.”

Junghoon gulps, as the fear of his friend’s wrath strikes him. “Noona, I didn't mean…”

“When I asked you to take care of Xinyu, this isn't what I meant!” she latches on his shoulders. “You even have the audacity to feel like this. To feel love? To touch her?! You’re no different than them!”

He was only left paralyzed by her grip. “I’m sorry, noona. Please, if you just let me—”

“Explain what?” Her eyes struck terror through his heart, an expression he never thought he would ever feel from her. “Seoyeon-ah already told me everything…”

“I tried reaching out to you—We all did, but you've cut all contact with us, with all of your friends! With Xinyu-noona! You didn’t reach us until the festival, but I’m really glad you did!”

Sohyun’s fingers around his arms tightened, sending shivers down his spine, while her own black nails slowly dug through the fabric of his shirt with every word she spoke. “And that makes it okay? Pretending that I wasn’t here? You know, I thought I could trust you… I did trust you, but this is how you’ve kept your—no—our promise? Wait. Did you even hope or pray for me to change my mind and come back here?”

“Yes, I wished you’d come back,” he held his tears. “For Xinyu-ssi’s sake. For the club’s sake, I wished you never left Korea. I still wish you would've stayed here with the ones who love you. But I--I couldn’t change your mind. None of us can. You said it yourself!”

“Such bullshit,” she spat, letting out a mocking chuckle. “Maybe this is why nothing’s worked out between you and Nien. Nothing will ever work out for you and everyone else. That’s why you’re still alone.”

Such words clawed their way on his chest, digging straight through his heart. He exhaled a whimper. “That’s not fair.”

“So wooing Xinyu while I’m gone is, you piece of shit?” she lets go of him, forcing him to slide down into the wall behind him. “You're fucking a rebound! That's all you are.”

“You didn't even make her wait. You didn’t tell unnie, either!” mumbled another voice called him out, slowly approaching him. “You only pressured Xinyu into liking you!”

“Nien-ssi?” His tears halted, as another wave of guilt envelops him when Nien stood beside Sohyun, showing the same eyes from that night he left her. “I swear I didn't!”

Tears dipped from her eyes; her voice was fueled by rage and resentment towards him for just how far their distance had come. “You fucking slob… Did you really…like me?”

Sohyun leaned closer to him. “Did you really think you could get away with this? Are you trying to replace me in the club? The next time you see me, you're dead. Just like them. You understand?”

Another familiar voice spoke out to him, as it walked out of the room’s darkest corner. If Sohyun and Nien’s presence was already dragging his heart and cutting his breath short, the sight of these two new figures started to drown him further.

“Junghoon, our dear son…” Junghoon hears a deep and domineering masculine voice. “What have you done? This isn't how we raised you. You can’t do anything right now, can you?”

His face. He hasn’t seen him, and the woman standing before him. Not in a long time. “What? Eomma… Appa… How are you here?”

“Listen to your father, dear. You betrayed your friend. Stole the woman she loves for years and for what?”

Junghoon stumbled down to his knees, unable to maintain his composure as streams of tears began to fall down his face. Ashamed by their condemnation, having considered all the words his friends and parents had told him as they’d butchered his vulnerable heart.

“The truth is, you’re all alone, Junghoon. You’ll always be. Without that club of yours, you have no place in this world. No one else loves you, because of what you’ve done... It'd be easier if you just… Come with us, son.”

“That’s not true…” Collapsing to his knees, his words come off as pleas. “You wouldn’t say something like that, eomma. My grandmother needs me. Your own mother.”

“You’re slowly killing her, dear. You’re nothing but a burden to her. You just can’t live without making anyone’s life more miserable, Junghoon-ie. Just like you did with us.”

He can only keep sobbing. “Just stop… Jeb–bal. I don’t know why this is—happening…”

“You’re a deceiver and a failure, Geum Junghoon,” Sohyun chimed in. “You don't deserve whatever you have. You don't deserve to be happy. Not now—Not ever!”

Junghoon sprung up from his sleep, panting and sweating from his scalp. It wasn’t the first time he had these nightmares. But now, he’s not alone. Lying beside him, Xinyu is awoken by his despair and immediately comes to his aid with a look of deepest concern, holding Junghoon on the shoulder as he catches his breath and covers his face in shame. Contrary to what he had encountered, Sohyun wasn't in Korea. Despite her promise, she couldn't book a flight during the holidays because her own relatives have done it instead. Meanwhile, he hasn't even hung out with the rest of the Mad Money club, let alone Nien, not since the past week. Their relationship has remained secret to everyone else around.

And yet, despite this odd relief, all of those moments, those apparitions, felt real to him. Their words had shattered him, letting his misgivings flow out across his headspace.

“Junghoon-ah!” Xinyu held him on her shoulders, caressing his sweaty back softly while her eyes almost watered. “What's wrong? Gwenchanayo? Babe, what happened to you?”

He kept on panting, unable to move from the cradling position she’s gotten himself. “I…I’m okay. I just… Had a n—n–nightm–mare.” He could feel his mouth hurriedly producing saliva down his parched throat, struggling to catch a breath. “That's all.”

She pulled him into her gentle arms, wrapping him tightly. He leans his head down on her shoulder. Despite holding in his whimpers as hard as he could, she caresses him on his back and head with her comforting touch, encouraging him to let his tears out to her.

He inched away to look at her, sobbing as if he was losing it all. “I don't deserve you…”

The woman didn't know why he’s telling her such words. “Don't say that. Look at me.” She wiped Junghoon's tears off his face and looked through his broken soul with her caring eyes. “I’m here, baby… Whatever it is, you can talk to me about it, hmm?”

She cupped his face and gave her partner a warm and passionate kiss, hoping it would relieve him of his fear and worries under the pale moonlight. They slowly dozed off not long after that, tangled much closer and tighter within the comfort of each other's arms, reassured by each other’s company. Nothing and no one else to worry about…

A few days later, they took another peaceful stroll at the Han River Park, their hands still held. It’s been their third time since she took him there on their first date. Their laughter and teases and stealing each other’s kisses… This early autumn afternoon, however, the air no longer felt the same, while that miniscule warmth in their touch still persisted.

“Junghoon-ie…” she caressed his palm with her fingers, ticking him out of his trance.

He turned to her with his usual innocent and dense expression. “Ne, noona?”

“Is everything alright at home? I mean, you know, whenever I’m not hanging out.”

“Of course!” he exclaimed. “Halmeoni’s doing much better since she’s been drinking her meds regularly and doesn’t need a check-up for another month. She travels outside with the neighbors these days, so if you want, we can hang at the boarding house more often. If you’re not too busy with your extra gigs, that is.”

She showed him a close, wide smile. “That’s good to hear. Of course, I’d like that.” But something still felt off. How he's filtering his own words, how less they flowed out of his lips than usual.

While his answer was soothing and reassuring to the ears, it’s not enough to relieve the worries in her heart. His words felt filtered and incomplete... Like he wants her to hear what she hoped he would say. He’s not telling me everything, huh, the woman worried.

“Umm…” A lightning round of topics flow through her mind. “How about your classes?”

They’re alright, as usual.” He now senses her persistence, but not enough to make him feel uneasy. Only guilty for how he hasn’t opened up. “May I ask why you’re asking?”

“Nothing. It’s just, I wanna know how you’re doing, babe. You know about most of my schedule, but you rarely talk about your life whenever we’re together, you know? I’ve only heard a few stories from your grandma.”

Junghoon forced out a smile. She had been paying a visit sometimes. “I’m okay, noona… Just had a bad dream. That’s all.” A simpler understatement he wanted her to believe.

But it wasn’t easy. Xinyu caressed his hands. She couldn't forget that night, nuzzling on his shoulders when he jumped out of nowhere. “A bad dream? What was it about?”

“Just a usual nightmare… Like a demon under the bed, kind of a dream.”

His answer caught her off guard. In any other moment, she would've released a cackle or giggle. However, the look in his almost deadpan eyes and forced smile only kept Xinyu’s attention to him closer. “A demon was under your bed? Where is it now?”

“It’s okay… As far as I’m concerned, they’re long gone, noona.”

“Are you sure they’re not bothering you anymore? Just wait until they come out again.” She raises fist into the air. “I’ll even go into your dreams and confront them myself!”

Junghoon laughed at her response, yet he could feel his heart melting by her unabashed courage and affection for him. Even if he didn't tell her the whole truth, her heart only motivated her to do her best to comfort him. The smile on his face persisted as he's in front of her and if that wasn't enough, Xinyu snuck up on him with a peck on his lips.

“Cheer up, baby. Hmm? I'm here… You can find me or call me, whenever you need me.”

Her comforting words and her ethereal presence slowly made him forget the worries he was remembering. “Thank you, noona. Hearing you say things like that, I can’t help but think I'm the luckiest man in the world.”

She chuckled, feeling her heart flutter like she's fallen in love with someone else for the first time, but his remark made her more curious. “Why’s that?”

“Because I’m going out with the most beautiful woman on campus and, of course, the most beautiful rising model in Korea.”

“Yah…” She pecked him on the cheek, keeping her hands intertwined while her body slowly swayed in endearment. “Just Korea?”

He leaned his head slightly upward, giving her forehead a kiss. “Of course. You'll be up there someday. The world, I mean.”

She rested her head on his shoulder, wrapping him a little tightly with her sweet giggles. “Hmm… You’re not the only one who’s lucky.”

While Junghoon disagreed with Xinyu, he just wanted to cherish this moment with her, even if the ghosts in his nightmares were taunting him. Whenever he’s with her, it feels like he doesn't have to fear or worry much about anything else. Even if they decided not to reveal themselves as a couple in public—including their closest friends and families— the two were there for each other after or outside classes. Not wanting to overthink each of their futures. Not wanting to lose the present they have together.

In the past three months, the couple used to spend their alone times like any other young couple their age. Movies at the cinema. Late night walks and talks at the park. Hangouts inside his house. Taking a trip on the bus, riding the train, or in the taxi cab. These two seemed like the “impossible couple.” Not even they expected to feel things for one another. To be together. Because of their odd circumstance, a “transit love,” as some would call their kind of relationship nowadays. They’re that type of couple that everyone else won’t probably not approve of. At least, all of that’s what a deep and doubtful part of Junghoon often told himself when he contemplated the rocky road of their relationship.

But despite their most recent passionate night, intimate catch-up, and loving walks at the river, the union of their bodies wasn’t enough to stitch back the distance that was already growing—the less time they spent with each other. It's as if they simply had a one-night stand, letting their bodies yearn for the closeness they once had instead of letting their hearts speak through their words and actions outside the bedroom.

Outside of class, Xinyu was more and more committed with her modeling gigs, and Junghoon was no different with his extra shifts at the convenience store. Moreover, their exchanges of texts became comparable to a long distance relationship, with one hitting up the other as early as ten in the morning, with the other replying by one in the afternoon. In the days that followed, she would only visit and spend the night in her own room when he wasn’t around to visit or check up on her in time. All the questions he had for her remained unanswered, as more and more kept piling up the less they caught up.

Within his mind, it was as if his own home had merely become her own transit to work. Nevertheless, he shook this mindset off his brain. She’s busy, and so am I. It’s normal. You’re just new to this thing, but you've made it up.

Another week would pass, but little improvement progressed with their communication. One Tuesday morning, Junghoon made the choice not to open or knock on Xinyu's door. Just like five years ago, the woman was like any other tenant he used to cross paths with. He took a bus to campus in hopes of keeping his mind clear, but the sight of some black stealth cars, similar to the one Xinyu used to ride with her bodyguard, on the road only kept clouding him with concern about the wriggling uncertainty in their relationship.

Even with this dwindling intimacy, he didn’t stop giving his attention to Xinyu whenever she could. His heart and mind couldn’t. He still wanted her, all of her, even if he was not feeling the same impression from her. And that day, when he had no one else to listen to and confide in, especially not to himself or his grandmother, Junghoon decided to head to the campus garden, after calling the only friend available, someone he still believed could understand the branches of misgivings which he had been storing by himself.

“You’re watching too much TV, Junghoon-ah!” Kotone scolded him. “You’re worrying about nothing. How about you do something else besides getting all hot and freaky?”

“What else are we supposed to do?” he shot back. “That’s just how we hang out at the boarding house. We watch TV. We go to parks. We do things... And besides, finals are around the corner, and we only got to spend the most time during Chuseok.”

“Then what's the problem? Seems you've got things all figured out, you lovebirds.”

He covered his hands. “I guess, we're just pretending like we haven't been distant in the past month… Like things aren’t the same as before... Or maybe that's just me.”

“You know honeymoon phases aren't meant to last, Junghoon-ah…”

“I know that… But I’m feeling like there’s more to why that’s the case. Like it’s my fault.”

She released a deep sigh. “Well… If that problem of yours is still about whether you’re good enough for her or not, then maybe you can start being more honest, Junghoon-ah. Talk things through. Tell her that you’re not entirely okay. Don’t pretend that you always feel alright around Xinyu-unnie.”

“I can’t do that,” he paused, paralyzed by his own doubts about the worst scenarios that could turn out if his secrets are unveiled. Instead of considering her insight and keeping his own composure, he remained reserved about his repressed self-resentment as much as he felt a chilling, burning even, sensation coursing across his skin, thinking of Xinyu.

“Why not?” Kotone worried, sensing that he wasn't being entirely honest with her either. “What’s been happening between you two? It’s so hard to read. One thing, it’s about you both being busy. Next, you’re back to feeling all insecure about being her boyfriend!”

“It’s just…shit,” he groaned in frustration, but not towards her. “Forget it. This is dumb.” Perhaps he could’ve met up with Myungsoo too, but he felt it’d be too much to ask again.

Unbeknownst to Junghoon, even Kotone’s fortified patience was wearing thin. “Then, I guess, nothing will go well between you two. This isn’t just about you. It’s about trust! I thought you had a lot of that for each other before you realized, you were into her?”

“I—I thought that was the case…” He didn’t know how to make her help him anymore.

“Then stop thinking like you’re the only one to blame, Jung-ah…” she told him straight. “Have you even considered that maybe Xinyu-unnie needs to be honest with you too?”

Such a remark went straight into his vulnerable ego, but her words only triggered denial in him. Finding distrust in Xinyu? It was new, perhaps even incomprehensible, for him. He thought the problem had to be him, and only him. “For someone who doesn’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you say things like you know a lot,” he shot back.

Even with his soft-spoken delivery, his stone-faced stare managed to strike several nerves in Kotone. Not a raised eyebrow from her, only an aghast gaze. “What's that supposed to mean?”

His mind went blank, letting his insecurity take over his words. “You act like we’re any different, but you lost your shot with Myungsoo-hyung because of Yooyeon-sunbae—”

Not just because it’s a hurtful retort, but because she knows it’s true, and hearing it from one of her close friends leaves her stunned. His eyes slowly widening, Junghoon realized what he said was wrong. He could’ve asked her what she meant about Xinyu rather than dismissing her point. “Kotone-yah, I didn’t mean—” But it was too late… For fuck’s sake.

If he was any other person in front of her, Kotone could've just punched or slapped him here and there. She probably should've. Instead, she just froze, her widened eyes locked with his. She sucked it up in silence, but even she couldn't hide the frown that formed on her trembling lips.

“You know what? You’re right,” she stood up, packing her stuff into her bag. “What do I know about relationships? You’re the one who asked me for help because you're still all sad and cranky, but since I'm single and clueless… I hope the best for you two.”

“Tone-yah, I’m sorry!” He tried to call her back, but even his amped voice was enough. She was gone. One of the only few people who supported him and Xinyu, in spite of the odds against them. Left alone to his own devices, he picks up his phone inside his pocket in desperation to see something change. Looking at his text, he sees his girlfriend's latest text. It was not nothing, but it’s worse. His last message has been left on read in the last twenty minutes. Another thing was class was only fifteen minutes away, prompting him to keep bringing his sense of dread and worry with him as he left the campus outdoors.

His mind kept on fixating that he didn't have to worry too much. How that night should be enough for him to remain faithful to Xinyu. In spite of their distance. He told himself that they could start over, forgetting all the nightmares and insecurities he was loathing. A new beginning for them.

Junghoon received a text on the Mad Money Club's group chat. The first one in a week. Considering how the older members had been the busiest, seeing them be the first ones to text first would give him a sense of relief and optimism about their whole friendship. As soon as his final class had ended for the afternoon, he headed straight to their room.

He’s puzzled by their somber faces. Seeing one person absent in the room, he doesn't want to think of anything negative, but he can’t help but feel worried for them. By the looks on Dahyun and Yubin’s watery eyes. Seoyeon’s clenched fists and harsh silence. Nien not muttering a word. No one is feeling alright and she was not here with them.

“Junghoon-ah…” Dahyun called him weakly, holding her tears from leaving her eyes while her right hand was holding Kaede’s left. Kaede’s right hand held onto Hyerin’s.

He hurried towards them. “What is it, noona? Are you guys all right? What’s going on?”

“Xinyu-unnie… S--she left for Berklee,” mumbled Seoyeon, swallowing her anger with a gloom, while tears had yet to break through her eyes of despair while facing him, letting him brace for what he was about to hear from them.

He knew that word was foreign, because he’s heard it from her before. “Berklee, thats—”

“It’s a school far from here,” Yubin wasn’t as strong as Dahyun. She didn't hold onto anyone else, but her tears were dripping while she covered her face with both hands.

“Where is it? Is it in the next city? How long is the trip there?” He’s remembering where, but he didn't want the answers already looming in his brain, hoping for something else.

“It’s in New York,” Dahyun answered him, muffled by whimpers she's been containing. “She went to America, Junghoon-ie.”

At this point, his thoughts became silenced. The hope he had been working the hardest to rebuild just shattered at her tearful answer. “America? She--sshe went to America?”

“She could’ve talked to us about it,” Seoyeon groaned, not wanting to give in to her true feelings about the situation. “But it’s like Sohyun-unnie all over again. Out of nowhere.”

He just remembered now. Those times they talked about her dreams, her fights back at her real home. They weren't answers to his questions, merely speculations, realizations that filled in the gaps of his desperation.

“What’s the point of this club if everyone else keeps leaving?” Yubin roared, slamming both her palms on the table. Junghoon slowly recalled all the pieces from his memory.

“We can still contact her through SNS, right?” Dahyun looked at everyone in the room, forcing her tears to stay inside her eyes and nose. Despite her counter, no one else had the courage to echo her desperate sentiment. “Guys, we gotta know how she’s doing…”

He knew he wasn't the only one devastated by this sudden news. Who wouldn’t be shocked, betrayed, or devastated by the realization that your friend left you without notice? Without farewell. But Junghoon. He’s the only one who didn't know. Not from her. He feels his heart imploding, constricting itself from seeing their tears and hearing their dispirited tones and whimpers. Unlike most of them, he doesn't shed a tear. Not in front of them. It's not the first time someone's left them, but it does not make it any less heart-wrenching since none of them could have done anything to keep her from leaving.

“If she only let us,” Seoyeon mumbled after turning her back on them. “We could have.”

While everyone else was around, he checked his phone. Still no replies from her either. Despite his patience, Junghoon would stop receiving any message from Xinyu. The last time they ever had contact for more than five years.

Arriving home, Junghoon sprinted past the living room and rushed straight into Xinyu’s room, only hearing the words “A bodyguard,” “arrived,” “cleaned up,” and “I’m so sorry” from his worried grandmother as if she was a broken signal. Despite finding most of the place empty, he held his tears in silence, simply sitting down on the chair in front of the desk, unlike most of his friends who wept on the spot inside their room. His phone just vibrated on his hand, prompting him to check a message, sent minutes earlier:

[Junghoon-ah.] [I don't think this is working out.] [Let's break up.]

Those were her last three messages for him in her absence. No explanations. No goodbyes. Already aware of where she was heading next, he was paralyzed by dejection, finding futility in replying to her. His breath hitched on his throat, his heartbeat began to feel heavier as each second passed. His mind has already thought of everything to imagine, even in their most fruitful and hopeful moments together.

But within his despondence, only his grandmother knows the depth and extent of his heartbreak, considering that she was one of the only few people who knew about him and Xinyu, perhaps the closest one to witness their romantic bond blossom.

“I can’t understand everything that you’re feeling, Junghoon.” She closed her eyes shut, as if something bitter’s lingering in her mind. “Nor will I understand why Shinwi did it.”

“Does it really matter, halmeoni?” Hearing his voice tremble and his nose stuffed by his dripping tears, his façade started to crack. It mattered very much, regardless of it. “If I just find out why she left, will it even make a difference?”

She let out a cough through her enclosed right fist. “That’s not for me to say, dear.”

“You should drink your meds,” he reminded her, conflicted about his own situation.

“I have, dear,” she coughed a bit more. “Like always, these things always tend to take way too long to kick in.” She cackled, hoping it’ll shake off her grandson’s worries. But the mix of his concern for her health and his heartache made Junghoon unable to laugh.

“I'm okay, Junghoon…” she insisted, emphasizing her words with a vulnerable delivery. “But I know you aren't.” She sat down on the chair in front of him—placing her hand on his closed fists resting on his legs. “You shouldn’t hide how you’re feeling. Not from me.”

With his tears, he tried to push his grandmother away. And yet, he realized that he’s got no one left. He’s alone now, having pushed everyone else away. Submitting defeat at his own heartbreak, he leaned down into her shoulders, desperately confiding in her warm and comforting embrace, and wept. His tears kept on pouring down her fabric, but she was rarely bothered by it. She could feel her grandson's emotional despair once more.

“Things will get better, dear…” the elder woman continued to pat him on the back, as if she was comforting her own whimpering child for the millionth time while she hid her own pain by tending to his. “It always does.”

= = = = =

The end of September welcomed the colder breezes of October. Plentiful foliage shedded their leaves, with its color also already changed into shades of red, yellow, and orange.

It’s been about two weeks since Xinyu left for the United States. Even if he couldn’t find any answers, Junghoon realized he had to move on. Back to his own simpler and more mundane but still just as important world. Because of the people he’s still at this point, he kept on telling himself that can't afford to wallow in his raging emotions, no matter how much it hurt to think of her.

Thoughts of doubt and self-blame still taunted him from time to time, of course. This must have been how she felt when Sohyun-noona left—No Junghoon. What happened, happened. Maybe I just deserve this. Suck it up, big guy. In time, he did his best to find his solution on the quotidian; having put more time and his efforts into his studies, and applied for a new part-time job at a new, nearby restaurant, not far outside Seoul State.

On weekdays, he would spend less time on campus, except for classes, especially in their hangout, Room 238. The place only reminded him of their last runaway, but he was not the only one in the club who thought and felt like their world had ended. Not since their own personal worlds started drifting apart in the prior months.

I’m sure they’ll understand, he justified his absence. He yearned to be with his closest friends, but his blurred and conflicted mind discouraged him from seeing any of them. It’s for the best... Of course, Junghoon didn’t have studies and work to distract him on the weekends. Yet he managed to spend more and more time on his own, overlooking the successive times his phone was vibrating with notifications from his close friends.

Believing that he was capable of moving on by himself, Junghoon did all that he could, keeping himself from breaking down in front of others. As painful as it was, he tried to pick up the shards of his normal life back together after the departure. The man did so by looking the other way. Every morning, he maintained the same routine he’s begun to develop in the last three months. Making his bed. Brushing his teeth. Dressing up with a shirt and his high school jersey shorts. Tying the shoelaces of his five-year-old black and blue running shoes, before taking a walk to the park of his choice. Taking any semblance of Keuri-go Park out of his mind, he began taking a bus to the nearest park in Han River.

Mornings and afternoons were him either staying at home, or taking an extra work shift outside classes. This time, he chose the latter, as he did last week. Cooking fast food for customers who rarely gave him a hard time, at least not yet, as he was still expecting.

Hours later at four-fifteen in the afternoon, Junghoon returned home with groceries, having offered to cook dinner for his grandma for tonight. “I’m sure you had another memorable trip with the ahjummas last night, but you have to eat something, okay?”

After pouring the stew into a small bowl alongside another bowl of rice, he walked to the dining table, placing it on the chair that was nearest to her room, next to the spoon and chopsticks. “Here, halmeoni… I cooked your favorite stew to help with your digestion before you drink your meds. It’s doenjang…”

He found her asleep on the wooden floor of her room rather than her own mattress. He kept nudging her legs, shoulder, and arms, but she remained still. The longer he cannot sense any response from her, the more his sweat poured while his heart raced faster. His nudges turned into shakes. His breathing became heavier by the second, rarely heating up the room’s cold atmosphere while his body began to feel a burning sensation due to his blood boiling. The current state of his mind went back and forth in unrest, clashing between dread and denial between his senses.

She lied still in the silence. Her eyes closed, resting on the surface with a peaceful look. Her left arm was lying on the mattress, with her right one on the spot below her chest.

“Halmeoni?” his voice quivered like a lost child. Driven by panic, he rushed outside the living room to his phone. Inside the bowl and their respective pots, the doenjang jjigae would go cold overnight with the rest of the air.

= = = =

just a yapping session so feel free to skip, but this must be my longest work and will remain to be the case for a long while. the follow-up chapter will be much shorter, just before I finally take a break from my series; yes, another one. the length speaks for itself. still, I will continue to write quicker and shorter fics. as always, thank you so much for waiting or simply, either staying tuned or followed. I don't think it's best work because of some rushed and iffy parts here and there, but I really needed to finish it in order to continue, and I'm content with how this mostly turned out. maybe I should apologize for not putting out anything while I was working on this and irl stuff, mainly 'cos I feel bad, so sorry for that. but, you know, I think I'm just glad to able to post again. besides, this community's got fruitful, dedicated writers. I'll continue to reblog fics that catch my attention whenever they come out. anyhoo, that's it for now. thank you for reading, have a wonderful day and until next time!

[monkebearness]

Our Story, Like a Romance Novel [Chapter 4: Complexity]

Chapter 0, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 5, Chapter 6

Tags: fluff, angst, coming-of-age, (kind of a spoiler, but not really, it's in the title lol) romance

Word count: 23.6k

a/n: okay, back to my non-smut sched. apologies if it took this long. I don't know how I managed to reach this word count. I guess that's a perk of writing offline lol. I'll say more stuff at the end, but if you're gonna read this one, hope you like it.

Cherry blossoms began blooming, as with yellow forsythia. Springtime has arrived in Seoul State University. Copies of announcements have been plastered all over campus, from bulletin boards in department buildings to poles outdoors, if their socials weren’t enough. From ambitious new clubs to established organizations, thousands of students and staff had been working and preparing their projects for this upcoming annual event.

Several months and a semester have passed since Sohyun left the club and the university for her new life in Europe. And yet, the story’s far from over for the Mad Money Club, as they have managed to recruit two new members to join their week-long preparation.

Over the past semester, the same Diamond Dreamers Club that once intimidated them eventually became their new sister club thanks to a few faces familiar to the members.

“Junghoon-ah,” Seoyeon raised her voice. “Help Hyerin and Kaede out with getting used to our rules, will you? They really wanna help organize with the Love Arcade Booth too! That can probably give us some more time to assist the Dreamers after lunchtime.”

—and a couple of new ones who joined their small but not so insignificant league of money-seeking, spending, sharing, and saving students who helped each other out.

“Affirmative, Seoyeon-sunbaenim!” Junghoon complied with a similar volume.

Alongside the neighboring clubs, Mad Money’s two new members already helped them out in their ongoing tasks for this big event. Just like the members before them, they’re also students who also used to feel like they didn't have a place to belong for a long time.

One of the Mad Newbies bowed to him within a swift second. “Good afternoon! Geum… Junghoon-sunbaenim, right?”

“That’s right. Nice meeting you, Jeong Hyerin-nim?” he asked her back. “The foodie?”

“You’re correct,” Hyerin answered energetically. “Quite the memory there, sunbaenim!”

Jeong Hyerin was a freshman at the age of seventeen, making her the youngest or maknae in the club and one of the youngest in the university this year since most freshmen enter at the age of eighteen or nineteen (in Korean age). Yet despite that rare trait, she seems to be the one of the more mature and independent members Mad Money has approved. When Seoyeon interviewed her, the club was amazed by her set of skills and talents. She also can cook like Yubin, a trait she presented when she first went to the club recruiters, and is a foodie herself, like Dahyun and Xinyu. Not to mention her passion for dancing stuns the girls, inspiring them to reach her level when she first demonstrated her flair.

“It's nice meeting you, Hyerin-ssi. I like your enthusiasm in joining the club.”

Junghoon looked beside an enthusiastic Hyerin, also greeting the next new member in anticipation. The only thing was, she was much more silent and quiet than they hoped.

He leaned slightly closer to Hyerin with his voice lowered. “Is she not much of a talker?”

“I’m not sure, sunbae,” she whispered back. “I haven’t gotten to know her that much.”

He approached her again. “Hi there, Yamada Kaede. Can you understand Korean well?”

“Annyeonghaseyo, sunbae,” Kaede retorted. “But why are you in the Mad Money Club?”

She was quite fluent in Korean, but the specificity of her question threw Junghoon off for a moment. Even Hyerin and Dahyun were weirded out by her blatant statement.

“Huh?” Junghoon’s anticipation dropped with his tone. “What do you mean, Kaede-ssi?”

“The club is mostly composed of girls,” she brought up. “At least from that sign I saw at the post. And somehow, you happened to be the only guy with them.” She tilted her head, staring at him with more apparent skepticism. “Why is that, sunbae?”

Meanwhile, Yamada Kaede is an exchange student from Japan. Born in the same year as Yubin, she’s also a sophomore. Yet, despite her appearance giving off the impression by most students that she's a cute and innocent otter who is mostly quiet, she might also just be one of the toughest and most brutally honest members of the club yet. Maybe even more than Seoyeon and Xinyu whenever they get strict or serious with others.

“Well, to answer your question, I'm not an official member of the club… Not anymore.”

His answer confused Hyerin, but it only made Kaede raise more suspicions about him.

“If you’re not a member of the club, then are you loaning money from them?”

“I’m not.” Balancing the line between humility and shame, he admits his place in the club to the freshman. What he believes that is. “Not anymore, but—”

“Don't talk nonsense, Junghoon,” they heard Dahyun’s voice, walking closer to them as she placed her hand on his shoulder. “You are always gonna be a part of our club!” She faced the new member with a wide smile. “And look, Kae-chan… Can I call you that?”

Kaede was intimidated by the senior’s sudden cordial and unbothered approach. In her ears, the term sounded like mocking, but the older woman bore no ill intentions. “No—”

“Okay, Kae-chan,” she continued. “Our Junghoon-ie here used to be our “assistant.” You may even call him an “errand boy,” because that’s what other folks called him back then. But he's become more than that. He’s one of us… And while I understand that you aren’t that close with everyone in our club, I don’t think you should be disrespectful to him.”

“No, it’s okay, noona…” Junghoon politely tapped on Dahyun’s shoulder. “I don’t blame her for asking me that.” He then gave Kaede a respectful look. “Now, Kaede-ssi—I’m not asking you to like me. And to continue my answer: I’m here because a sunbae didn’t just give me a gig, but she also gave me a chance to be more confident and leave my comfort zone, to know people also worthy of respect. Because we helped each other and treated each other as friends. And because you’re also going to be in the same club, I can only hope that we can get along. Even just for the festival.”

Dahyun looked at him with respect and admiration. It’s as if she’s an older sister who’s feeling proud towards a younger sibling for finally standing up for himself to someone. Hyerin looked at him in awe for de-escalating the tension. Silenced by his words, despite him not raising his voice, Kaede felt humbled for what she said and how she behaved.

She bowed at him. “Joesonghamnida, Geum Junghoon-sunbaenim.” She bowed again.

“It’s okay, Kaede-ssi,” Junghoon smiled. He raised both his hands, signaling her to stop bowing. “Don’t apologize too much. I’m just glad our misunderstanding is cleared up.”

While introductions were rough, the orientation went smoothly. In Junghoon’s mind, he thought of his life in the past year, comparing his encounter with the new club members. I’m guessing this is how Sohyun-noona felt about my behavior when she was still here. I hope she’s doing well out in France.

= = =

As Seoyeon had hoped for the new maknaes to help at the Love Arcade, Junghoon volunteered to help the Diamond Dreamers with their own booth for about an hour, which he was too astonished to admit was just as unique as theirs, since it also consisted of various minigames, thanks to the almost vintage video games owned by their leader, Kim Yooyeon. The club had also set up a jewelry making booth as a part of their collab, which required more assistance and materials, but less time, now that it had more than twelve members to look after it. However, their most ambitious planned game was a real-life egg hunt-type of game which they only call the Diamond Challenge.

“Thanks for the assist, Junghoon-ssi,” Nakyoung saluted him playfully with a lighthearted giggle. “You know, Tone-chan was right about you. You should’ve joined us. I bet you would’ve had just as much, if not more fun here.”

He couldn’t help but feel flattered. Maybe even a little more, but that’s not why he’s here. “Don’t mention it, sunbaenim… That’s why we partnered up for this festival, remember? Who knows what can happen? I’m not that limited to my old club.”

“Junghoon-ah!” Xinyu shouted from afar. “If you’re done flirting with our partners over there, help us out with carrying these boxes here, will ya?”

Forming a smile after hearing her remark, Nakyoung looked at Junghoon while they’re still sorting the Mad Money Club's now half-finished booth. “Ka, Junghoon-ssi… I can sort out the rest of these with Yubam and Chaeyeon. Seems like Xinyu-ssi really needs your help with your arcade.”

“Ne!” he nodded at her. “On my way, sunbae!” He rushed to Xinyu in the area of a dozen more unsorted boxes.

“Took you long enough,” she joked. “How was your little chat with Nakyoung?”

“I wasn’t flirting with—” He assured her. He didn't know why. Must be a force of habit.

“I was kidding,” she told him with a straight face. “You think too lowly of yourself. I don't care whatever girl you talk to.”

“It’s not that.” He couldn't help but interject with a nervous chuckle. “It’s just not the case.” Xinyu turned around and took a few steps closer. This is out of nowhere.

Every time they get closer. Every interaction they’ve had. It didn't seem appropriate, just looking at her directly. Her face. Her eyes. Her lips. Seolma. It’s just not possible. She’s beautiful… There’s no doubt about that observation. Almost everyone in this college is heads over heels for her, but no… She’s a campus star… and Sohyun…

“You handled orienting Kaede pretty well, huh,” she nudged his shoulder. “My God, she would’ve looked much scarier if she didn’t look like an adorable otter. That girl is gonna need more of our initiation rituals... Hyerin seems to trust you, so she doesn’t need that. Good job on meeting both of them.”

Junghoon laughed. “Thanks. It’s normal for her to feel that way, so it’s not hard for me to deal with it now. I mean, it’s happened before… Gotta learn from it and live with it.”

His words brought some rather unpleasant impressions to her, making her look down in guilt. It was forever ago, but she definitely couldn't forget how she perceived him when they first met. Such memories of her past self left her with a bad aftertaste. “Right…”

She tried to raise one of the heavier boxes, to no avail. “Oh, let me take that box. It looks heavy.” He took the box from her hands, lifting it from the concrete and pivoting it onto his chest. “Woah, this is heavy,” he chortled, but maintained balance by carrying the box and walking towards the Love Arcade tent.

Xinyu looked at him, uncertain. Concerned. Couldn't even let her hands go off his arms as they flexed under the weight of the boxed materials. “Are you sure? I can handle it—”

“Gwaenchanayo, noona! I can handle it.” He continued to laugh as he walked away from her on his way to the booth. While he could handle the box and balance himself, his walk made him appear like he’s an emperor penguin, waddling across the polar ice caps. The scenario went into Xinyu’s mind that moment, prompting her to laugh by herself before taking another look at Junghoon from afar as he entered their booth tent.

“Thank you, Junghoon-ah…” she hollered to him. “Be careful on your way out!”

At the start of May, Mad Money and Diamond Dreamers partnered up for the upcoming University Festival. Although most of them were not familiar with each other before this campus-wide experience, this event becomes the ultimate opportunity for them to get to be acquainted with one another, among other students, throughout the entire month.

Five of the newer faces from the Diamond Dreamers whom Junghoon had met during the festival collab were its current members: Kim Yooyeon, Koma Mayu, Kim Nakyoung, Kim Chaeyeon, and Lee Jiwoo. Though, with Junghoon being himself, it took a little bit more time for his introverted self to get used to knowing them outside their projects and for that, he often hangs out with one member during their lunch break in the meantime, his close friend: Kamimoto Kotone.

On the first Friday of the month, these two close friends had lunch at a sandwich booth on campus. Taking a seat on a table near the stall, Kotone munched already halfway into her bulgogi sandwich. On the seat in front of her, Junghoon hasn’t touched his gilgeori sandwich in the past two minutes, as his eyes are off somewhere in the far distance. He spotted some members of the Mad Money Club and Diamond Dreamers walking near the fountain. Seems they’re already getting to know each other, he thought. Among the joint clubs, his eyes landed on her. She saw him from his spot. Out of panic, he lowered his head to make it look like he’s bowing to them from a distance. Unable to notice that Dahyun, Chaeyeon, Jiwoo, and Yubin were also bowing to him, he could feel and hear his heartbeat.

Noticing his strange movement, Kotone shook her head. “Are you gonna eat that or what?”

Junghoon looked at his sandwich. “Oh… Right.” He took a big bite of his meal.

“For a second, I thought you’re gonna give me the rest of it,” she snickered.

“Not a chance,” he groaned. “You’re already enjoying your bulgogi toast.”

“Yeah, but I’m almost done with it, you know. I was eating it as any normal person would, unlike someone who’s clearly occupied with doing absolutely nothing.”

“Can’t a guy eat at his own pace?” he whined.

“Says the one who usually eats his meal the fastest,” she retorted. “And that doesn’t change anything just because you’re trying to get on a diet... What’s with you today?”

“I was just thinking about something, that’s all.” He took another, medium-sized bite.

“Hmm, of course you are…” She smirks. “I know that look.”

Junghoon continued to chew before swallowing his bite. “What are you talking about? I’m just eating right now. What other look do I have aside from eating my sandwich?”

“Oh, you know. It's the ‘when you're slowly falling for someone’ kind of look.”

Junghoon chuckled, though it came off as a bit forced. “Falling for who? This sandwich? I mean, it is pretty good, I gotta say. The way they mixed the sauces really complements the crunchiness of the bread and the patty… Wow.”

“No, pabo!” she scolded him. “Not that. Who are you hanging out the most in your thrifty little club? That one. Who you were staring at instead of eating your sandwich.”

“Seoyeon-sunbaenim? Dahyun-noona? Yubin-ssi? Be more specific.”

“Yah! You can’t be serious right now. Stop pretending like she doesn't exist.”

Junghoon remained dodgy. “Who doesn’t exist?” It’s just not working for Tone.

“Xinyu-unnie!” she exclaimed. “It’s like whenever you talk about your club to us, you keep on avoiding any mentions of her when in fact, we often see you walking right next to her, almost every single time!”

“But didn’t I already tell you guys already about—”

“Nien-unnie? Of course, I still remember that. She was your first crush here. Your first date, which, by the way, we helped you prepare for.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “And? Why wasn’t she the name you mentioned.”

She crossed her arms. “I’m just not buying it.”

“I’m not selling you anything.” To Kotone’s ears, Junghoon’s voice started to sound more defensive the more he talked. “I’m just saying that I like Nien and you didn’t even believe or consider that when I told you about her when I was still getting used to the club.”

“I mean, I did believe it. Months ago… There was some chemistry between you two. You were laughing at her jokes or stare at that girl like she’s sparkling whenever we hung out together, but that was like what? Last semester? That infatuation is long gone.”

“So, why do you think anything’s changed after that?” he questioned her straight. “We made up even after our supposed first date happened.”

“Geunyang…” she starts. “Let’s just say that the way you interacted with Nien ended up becoming like anybody else’s…”

“Like what?”

“You’re just casual. Maybe even more platonic than before. I just don’t feel that spark. And oh, yeah… She's dating someone else, and you're not bothered by it that much.” She made it sound as if she had a gotcha moment on him. He continued to take another bite.

“And that’s a bad thing? It feels more like you’re reading too much into us.”

“No, no, of course not. It’s great that you’re becoming friends with all of your clubmates. You’ve come a long way, Jung-ah,” she assures him. “But because your attention shifted into someone else, I don’t need you to play dumb just to realize who I’m talking about.”

He knew Kotone was right. There was no point in beating around the bush. There was no point in denying it. Especially not to one of his closest friends. He sighed in defeat. She snickered.

“You know I can’t…” his voice slowly contrasts her comic tone. “It can’t happen. She and… They were together for more than two years. And I was with them—supporting them while they were together and even after! The fact that I’m even considering it… Doesn't sit right with me.”

Oh… Tone realized what he’s been so hesitant about. But she wasn't just gonna give up.

“Sohyun-sunbaenim has been far away from here for a while now. They broke up a long time ago and that’s a fact you can’t deny. Heck, you didn’t even like Xinyu-unnie when they were still together! Besides, didn’t Sohyun-sunbaenim just reconnect with y’all? Even after the breakup.”

“But… I can’t.” He then looks up to Tone, seeking to reason with her eye to eye. “Even if we don’t take Sohyun-noona into the equation, Xinyu-noona and I are too different to be—you know. It just doesn’t make sense. It’s messed up to think about, even.”

“Different, how? MBTIs? Who cares!”

“What’s that?”

“Personalities? Unnie’s an E. You’re an I. She’s most likely a T and you’re a definite F.”

“Yeah, I guess,” he nodded, getting her point. “But I don’t really care about those.”

“How about body proportions?” she adds. “That one must’ve crossed your mind a lot.”

“Maybe,” he considers that one, making his friend more infuriated. “We are different.”

“So effing what?” she pointed her finger at him. “That shouldn’t bother you either!”

“Well, you’re the one who brought it up. I’m just saying you have a point, Tone-yah.”

“I’m just testing you. How you see yourselves because of your differences,” she justified.

“Like it matters,” he shrugged off. “We’re just different through and through. Even if you didn’t mention the personality tests and our physique types, it wouldn’t matter either. For once, I’m like two years younger than her.”

She let out a snicker, wondering how could something so little bother him? “Ever seen Pretty Noona Who Treats Me to Meals? Dude… that’s like the ultimate answer to your argument. The leads were like five to six years apart! Some people have much younger or older partners.”

“She’s into women, you know that,” he shot Tone’s argument with another misgiving. “It would be pretty unnie who treats me to meals.”

“Oh, tsk, tsk, tsk… You narrow-minded kid,” she raises her index finger, wagging it to tease and confound him. “I bet you didn't know about her relationships when she was still a freshman. Before Sohyun-sunbaenim. Or non-relationships for that matter.”

Of course he didn't. He’s not one to know so much about others’ personal lives outside his close circle and out of the Mad Money Club, Xinyu has been the exception. “Huh?”

“That's right… I know for a fact that Xinyu-unnie doesn’t care about who she likes based on whether they're a man or a woman. Dude, if that's still not clear enough for you—she goes ‘both ways.’ That’s not an issue to her. Nor should it to you... It’s just my opinion, Junghoon-ah, but what others think shouldn’t ever stop you from having feelings for someone. Especially if you have done nothing but good to her.”

He turns somewhere else. “Well, whatever you say, I don’t think they’d agree with that.”

“Who’s they? Where in the--? What the hell are you looking at?”

Squinting her eyes, Kotone followed Junghoon's gaze. A weird, wide veil through a blank space. A window through his perspective. Voices and texts. She didn't know how he sees this, this other wall through thin air, but their presence irked her as they simply radiate the scenarios of other worlds, filled with infinite what ifs and what could’ve been. It's all of their dreams, nightmares, comforts, and insecurities personified. It's an odd anomaly and out of this realm. Now, it's starting to take them out of their immersion. “The hell?” Kotone latched her hands on its invisible handles from each side. “Don't mind those…”

“I know, it’s weird to think this way… But I meant it about us being in different worlds.”

The woman shoved the view away from them, never wanting to speak of it again. “Seriously? Don't mind them... This ain't their life, Jung... This is ours, yours to deal with… How do you really feel about Xinyu-unnie? You don't have to tell me everything.”

“But she already knows!” Junghoon bursts those words out of nowhere, startling Tone. Out of embarrassment, Junghoon immediately covers his own mouth, before taking a quick look around the campus. Thankfully, the other students either only rolled their eyes or laughed off at his reaction, before minding their own business. Tone, however, stares at him in disbelief for a second, but her smile grows even more at the realization.

“You mean, you confessed to her?” she’s sensing his butterflies. “Omo, omo… When?”

“I don’t know if she still wants to remember it, but it was a week ago. Even then, I think she just pretended like she never heard me or thought I made a deadpan joke. I mean it would’ve just been more awkward if either of us brought it up again.”

= = = = =

It was only a whole semester. About only half a year after Xinyu's heart was shattered by Sohyun’s departure for France. It was still a tough time to reminisce for all of them, but they knew that things had to go on. That was their collective promise for each other.

And yet, Junghoon wondered: what has he been doing with Xinyu that was more than enough to make him start feeling things beyond their formalities? Beyond friendship?

His recent encounters and his hair-scratching conversations only made him rewind throughout the span of the second, third, and fourth days of the Seoul State Festival.

It usually starts with, “Junghoon-ah…” followed by a request. “Can you help me wi—”

“Ne!” No questions asked, the young man would do her requests. “On my way, noona.” It's all part of the production, after all. If not, then it's definitely for the club.

Nothing much, if he was being honest. Junghoon this. Noona or sunbae that. They acted professional, weeks before they became more casual in the months that followed. It was a closeness similar to him with the rest of the Mad Money Club. Before Kaede entered their ranks, anyway. It was like the new member had absorbed all of Xinyu's negative impressions of him before he could've talked her down to a more respectful level.

Junghoon's job as Xinyu's assistant wasn't confined to a single role, as he expected.

Thanks to his part-time job at a restaurant, he was able to buy doughnuts and some other snacks for the cast and crew of their production every morning or afternoon. They were leftovers from previous nights, so instead of letting his coworkers unnecessary throw it, he packed a lot before heading home, enough for himself, his halmeoni, and his friends.

“You're a lifesaver, Junghoon-ie. Gomawo!” Daeho patted him on his back, as he took a piece of honey-glazed ring from the box, immediately gnawing into it while his other hand returned its grip on his hair, gently massaging himself. “So… Good.”

It wasn't a requirement, but seeing his sunbaes nourished or at least more sober during their meetings only warmed his heart before their day would start.

The thespian’s cast and his fellow crewmates would welcome him with fillings of praise and sprinkles of gratitude for his consistent gestures, but he didn't want himself to be a mere freeloader or another suck-up. He wanted to be more involved, and receive more constructive criticism if he had to, and get results done by the end of their production.

Even at the days of those plays, he had to pay attention, ensuring things went smoothly. But when he's simply observing things fold into place. The audience cheered and wept. For Junghoon, this whole cycle went for two productions over the span of six months.

“You did well, sunbae.”

But, in spite of his studies and his outside work, this one never felt like a routine.

“I know…” Xinyu even flipped her hair, bearing resemblance to a star in a shampoo commercial, it reminded him of the times she's tested her costumes for the stage, right before shaking it off his head. Of course, Junghoon laughed her flaunt off. But deep down, Xinyu too wanted this interaction to be more than just jokes, which might've caused another misunderstanding between them. “But—umm—give yourself some credit, too, Junghoon-ah. You basically carried half the production team on your shoulders this time.”

“Come on, noona. That's not true.”

She shook her head. “I beg to differ. If you don't believe me, just feel free to ask Hwihyeon-ie or Yuki-chan. Or the slackers who barely showed up on time, unless you brought everyone snacks.”

“Well, I guess I'll just take their words. And I'm sure the others had a good reason—”

With every question, her face inched closer to his, forcing him to take a step back. “You’re speaking on their behalf, too? I mean, have you even been focusing on your studies? Attending classes? Are you skipping classes?”

He laughed. “I have and I am, noona. Don't need to worry about that.”

“All right…” she changed her voice to a more nonchalant tone. “I'm just saying it's the best time to drop from this club. Before I make the announcement to everyone else.”

“Why?” Even with his straight face, curiosity and uncertainty pushed each other within his mind. She's always liked keeping surprises to him. “What's gonna happen?”

“I'll be stepping down as an actress.”

“What?” At that moment, panic set in within his system, as the latter emotion just took control over him. “Why? Is it because I'm doing a bad job, sunbae? I mean, if you really want, I can drop out—”

“Paboyah… I'm just dropping out of the cast,” she clarified with a soft fist thrown into his shoulder, slightly hissing at him. “I’ll be in production!”

He scratched his head, embarrassed and almost lightheaded at his now vanishing panic. He couldn't believe he got himself fooled by a mere tease. “Oh… Right.” But what's new?

Xinyu let out a snicker, tilting her head as she leaned and examined him closer. Her smile evoked appreciation. “You're bummed out that I'm leaving?”

“I mean, who wouldn't be? You're a star in your stages.”

“I'm not the only star. We're all st—”

“That’s true, but you’re also definitely a highlight,” he justified his claim. “The empty seats get filled up on stages you're a part of, no offense to my other sunbaes.”

Xinyu continued to chuckle, unable to express the surprises of flattery from him. “Yah. Geum Junghoon, are you supposed to be my assistant, or my fan?”

“Aren't assistants automatically fans in some way? Like with idols and their managers?”

“So you're my manager now, huh? You also think I'm fit to be an idol?”

“Hmm… I wouldn't say no to that. You could be a part of the cheerleader club or be an MC. I'm sure you'd do well.”

“You really are getting good at your job. You might as well be my publicist.”

“For that job, you'll actually have to pay me.”

“Well, too bad ‘cause I'm joining you with the production team.” She stuck her tongue out.

He chuckled at her teasing, shaking his head. “I don't see that as a bad thing, though.”

“Hmmm… I thought you'd be more scared, now that we get to hang around more often, but I stand corrected. Maybe I'll stick around more often until you get tired of me.”

Junghoon happened to be there. He was mostly there. During Xinyu’s busiest, hardest weeks. Throughout her most grandiose successes and most festive celebrations. It was just hanging out.

On the brighter side, things had softened up between them, compared to months ago. Their ice cold and chilling tensions have melted like ice under the summer heat. They blossomed along with the flowers of spring.

And then one day, their meetings went outside their club. Outside Room 238. Outside the auditorium. Xinyu just hit him up, merely asking for a friend and companion to be with and well, he just accepted. But there was nothing more. Nothing in return.

Sometimes, she'd ask, “Are you free after class?” or “Are you free this weekend?”

They would wander the town of Keuri-go and some of its nearest neighborhoods. From her words, “I guess… I just wanted to go somewhere new… Without some nosybodies.”

“Try this, Junghoon-ah.” They would go to small diners, cafés, and newer restaurants. None of the mainstream stuff usually found around their campus. There was no doubt about her gourmet palate. They came off as a couple to some, but she'd often come up with many labels, most of which were true. “Dongsaeng. Chingu. Roomie. Buddie.”

“Come on, Junghoon. Don't be shy. It's my treat today, arasseo?” she kept chewing, focused on the meals like it's her craft. She's taking food seriously.

But what everyone else thought didn't matter. The fact was, they went for delightful and scrumptious cuisines. She rarely realized whenever her cheeks were puffed as her mouth was filled with flaming meat or whenever she's making crunching noises with fresh vegetables. It was definitely a sight to behold. Kyeopta, Junghoon pondered. A simple iced tea made his experience more refreshing while she sipped her pink juice, something she claimed tasted far better than the one she first ordered at the more popular café.

He never knew there was someone else as passionate in eating as he was. Though, she was more eloquent in doing it, weirdly enough. “All right... Jal meokgeotseumnida.”

“You think Soda will like this?” At shops and malls, they would buy surprise gifts or supplies for their clubmates on their birthdays or some significant achievement.

He looked at the music box with a proud smile. “Mmm-hmm… I think she'll love it.”

“Good pick. I guess I'll, ummm, I'll be needing your advice on Yubam’s birthday.”

His assumption has always been, “I thought all of you girls are close.” and rightfully so.

“We are.” She even felt a little flustered to confess about it. “It's just, you two joined the club in the same month. She felt a little closer to you, but it's not like a competition.”

“Okay, okay,” he snickered. “I'll be glad to help out, noona.”

He was originally her underling, but more than that, they became friends. No matter the occasion, he made time for her… Whether she needed his assistance. Or his company.

Sometimes, walks in the park were enough to blow all the worries off her. Junghoon himself was never the nosy one, but it was during those moments where he'd hear more from the woman.

“I wish I could just buy this park, you know?” she mumbled through the breeze.

He craned his head to the side, staring at the back of her shining hair. “Why is that?”

“Geunyang,” she blurted, brushing her hand through the bushes they're now crossing.

“Well…” He knew there was more to her thought. “Even if you do have the money to do that, lots of locals still visit this place, so I'm not even sure if that's a good idea.”

“I didn't say I'd take it away from them,” she defended herself with a snortle, though her mind wasn't as calm as she appeared.”

“What're you going to do with it, then? If you somehow do buy this park?”

“Maintain it. The way it is now.”

“So you won't be open to renovating it or expanding it?”

“I don't actually mean I'm gonna buy it someday… You took it way too seriously.”

“Oh… Well, I thought it was an interesting thought…”

She exhaled through her nose, beaming. “I just… I don't know. Sometimes I get irritated, and annoyed, when things change all of the sudden. I know, someday, this park won't be the same anymore. I don't know if I even like to think that happening.” Aside from those two words, she kept other feelings inside her. Worried. Afraid.

Junghoon could only sigh, but he had also given himself a similar answer a while back.

“Things will always change, noona… No matter how much power, money, and influence we may have, there's some things we'll just have to live with… Things out of our control. Out of our favor.”

She's heard of that gloomy outlook countless times from different people she respected or hated. Quite annoyingly so, even if it's true. “And… How do you deal with something like that? Losing something you’ve treasured for years? Losing a safe space like this?”

“I think we just have to adapt and do what we can… It can and will hurt, but maybe we can find better opportunities elsewhere. Maybe this park will remain a park. Maybe it won't… I believe we shouldn't just limit our safe spaces to just one place, or rely on a person we may not have a chance with. We can set our minds to it, if we have to.”

The gist of it was admittedly cliché, but his delivery was softening her heart. Yet, she was still unsatisfied with his insight. She wanted to hear more from him. “But what if I don't want any of those new opportunities? What if I wanna stay with my old treasure?”

“Then like I said, you're still setting your mind into it. Sometimes, stubbornness can be a good asset, but it shouldn't come at the cost of our sanity. Just like with our obsessions… Nothing good comes out of it the longer it sits out.”

Silence followed afterwards. Xinyu felt something constricting there. “Plus… It’s not too bad to venture out and look for something or someone new,” he continued. “I mean, if you're careful enough, what more can you lose? If it's not for you, just move on.”

She simply tilted her head, contemplating his sentiment with delighted curiosity. “Touché… That’s pretty mature.” She wouldn't find this park if she didn't explore it.

He crossed his arms, unsure on whether to play along or take her compliment at face value. “Did you assume that I'm otherwise? Is it because I'm younger?”

“Aniya…” Despite her smirk, she wasn't in the mood to tease. “It was just unexpected... It was nice to hear your perspective.”

By the end of most of those days, he saw her on her way home. On the same stealth car. “It was really nice hanging out with you, Junghoon-ah… Take care of yourself, alright?”

But looking back, perhaps he shouldn't have done all those things. Not to that extent.

Dugeun. Maybe that was the first time. The first few times. Dugeun. The moment she got closer and more comfortable, and by that, from a physical sense. Without a boundary that kept each other's guards up.

Embedded to his conscience, he kept going because of a promise he accepted almost a year ago. A promise that he still never broke, despite her already ended relationship.

And yet, even as Sohyun has returned in their lives, he continued wondering, has he outgrown that promise? Should he? Wouldn't that be a great betrayal of her trust?

With each time Xinyu got closer, she drew her breath close to his ears. His nose caught a few variations of her perfume, growing stronger and warmer as their distance closed. Strangely enough, even their little shoulder bumps and her teasing pinches sent shivers through his spine in the midst of the warm spring. Whenever she entered his field of vision, her eyes appeared like they're prowling for his presence, just for someone to tease or talk to. Beside and around Xinyu, uneasiness crept in as an aftertaste to every moment of bliss that made his system flutter. It was the last feeling he was supposed to feel for her, slowly burying whatever he truly felt for this woman through work.

Why am I paying attention to all of these? This has to be one-sided. It's the only thing that makes sense. One-sided things should go away pretty soon.

But one can't simply alter the rhythm of their heartbeat. It was a matter of time until Junghoon's affection started to manifest beyond his heart.

“Are you sure you guys want me there?”

“Don’t worry about them, Junghoon-ah,” Xinyu tried to persuade Junghoon. “You’ve worked with them before. Ever since you invited them to the party at our room, they wanted to get closer with you. And don’t forget, you’ve been a great help to us.”

It was after the success of the Thespians’ play. On a Thursday night, Junghoon attended the afterparty with the cast and his fellow crew, which he was a part of, despite being a recent addition as Xinyu’s assistant. No one was drunk enough to do something fun and stupid, but they were definitely bold enough to play a game of truth or dare while they were still sober enough to be embarrassed about the things they were asking or doing that night. After minutes and minutes of spinning the bottle, its neck finally points to Xinyu. Her fellow cast expressed their intrigue, although a smirk formed around her lips, hoping to one-up them.

“What’s it gonna be, Xinyu-yah?” Yuki anticipated. “You don’t seem to be surprised.”

“I’m looking forward to it, actually,” she quipped.

“Ooooh, that means you’re looking forward to some dares,” Hwihyeon teased.

“Dares are getting too stale. Hasn’t our performance been enough for y’all?” she flaunted, steering the game's direction out of their favor. “Our original production was the talk of the town!”

“Yeah, but are you sure you don’t wanna take someone home tonight? Pretty sure there are plenty of hot faces at the bars nearby. We can start here!” Yuko questioned. “And it's strange that you used to be the one who kept on pulling us outdoors so we could ‘mingle’ with some gals and fellas back in freshman year.”

“Exactly!” Daeho chimed in with his deep and inquisitive voice. “It seems you’ve gone celibate ever since you’re single again.”

“No, I haven’t!” she shot back at them with a defensive tone, which only amused them. “It’s just we have the next Festival Week for that, I’m in no rush, unlike you nymphs— and Daeho… Tonight, I want some good old ounce of truth, so shoot your shots.”

 “Chill out, girl,” Hwihyeon chuckled at her brief outburst. “Okay… Truth it is, gals…”

An idea lit up their director, Jihye. Unsurprisingly, it happened once her eyes met yours. “I got it. Would you be willing to go out with your assistant?”

He felt his heart racing. He didn't know why, but such a question keeps him on edge, even if he’s not the one to answer it. Looking at Xinyu, he saw her with a teasing smile.

“Hmm, he’s a bit young,” she retorts before looking at him with a soft smile. Yet to him, it feels somewhat condescending, not that it matters. “No offense, Junghoon-ah.”

A wide smile formed on Junghoon’s face. A barricade to shield his crumbling heart. “None taken, noona,” he responded.

“As if that stopped you from seeing people younger than you two years ago,” Hwihyeon sharply counters her friend’s confident remarks.

“They were like, what? Months, a year younger than me? And plus, rarely of those flings were guys. You don’t really find ‘em around. Ones who are mature enough for my taste.”

He slowly breathed through his nose, easing the ensuing pandemonium within himself.

“That doesn’t disprove her point, unnie,” Jihye joined the banter, gaining chuckles from Hwihyeon and Kangdae.

“Whatever,” Xinyu tutted. Everyone’s been ganging up on her. “The point is, he already has a crush of his own.” Except for the man himself. “Isn’t that right, Junghoon-ah?”

The pressure of everyone else around him versus his own thoughts and his sunbae’s domineering words. “Yeah, I guess. Xinyu-sunbae’s not entirely wrong, yeorobun.”

“See?” she grinned, raising her eyebrow at her fellow thespians; even they’re fooled.

“That’s a bummer. We thought there’d be something between you two.”

Exiting the restaurant, the two take a walk across the street outside their campus after the cast and crew had parted ways with wide smiles and a few crumbs of laughter that they’ve left at the place in the past two hours and a half. Silence ensued between them.

Even with his introversion, she felt something wasn't right with him. Considering the many word-filled walks they've taken in the last several months. “What’s the matter?”

Usually, he would clench his fist to bear the loud thumps of his heart, but now, he has simply lost the energy to do a simple thing. “Um… About what they asked you earlier.”

“That silly little goof?” she chuckled, trying to lighten up his gloomy mood. “What about it? I was just playing around. Don’t take what I said too seriously.”

“About you dating younger people?” he clarified.

“I think I meant that,” she admitted. “In my experience, it’s not easy to find someone dependable if they are not mature enough to respect someone’s space or on the other hand, not ready enough to open up. Some of them weren’t ready for a relationship, so they just ended up as fun flings. But hey, that doesn’t mean I was talking about you…”

He felt his heart getting lighter, but not enough to ease his sense of disquietude. “Oh.”

“You’re a good man, Junghoon-ah. I couldn’t care less who you’re into. If it’s still Nien or someone else, they’d be lucky to have you.” She giggled, contrasting his quiet and somber demeanor. “And by the way, are you that curious about my dating life?”

“I’m not,” he objected, letting out a nervous laugh. “I’m just generally curious.”

“I didn’t wanna get you into our goofs too much,” she expounded. “You should know by now, they can be a bit nosy when it comes to knowing other people’s tea at times, which I’m more or less tolerant with, but I didn’t know if you’d feel the same way about them.”

“Well…” His heart began to slow down. “I thought they were fun to listen to.”

She tried to take it into a more humorous direction. “Even if they just, out of nowhere, dragged you as the direct object of the question meant for me? That’s weird, especially from you. Did you enjoy it when it was my turn?”

“Not necessarily, but… I don’t think they were wrong, when they said it…”

“Yah,” she tilted her head to the side. “Don’t tell me you’re actually considering what they said… They were goofing around, so I played along with them. I even gave you a look, remember?”

And at that moment, his rhythm became faster once more. “I’m not!” he hollered out suddenly. “I just… I didn’t know how to feel about you. Mianhaeyo. This is sudden…”

Her mischievous smile slowly dropped. “Junghoon-ah…” she muttered, clueless what to say next. “Do… Do you really… You're kidding, right?”

Cold air flared through his nose, akin to a sick bull. “I wish I was…”

Her chest began to flutter. “What?” Maybe out of fear or surprise. She couldn't tell.

Giving himself a test, Junghoon took a step forward. Closer. The thumping grew. If it was a stranger she would have run. The woman's eyes widened.

Her wits were silenced by his spurt of boldness. Startled by her own surprise, he took a step backwards. That wasn't something he was willing to cross, even if his inner self was yearning to do so.

“You don’t have to say anything, noona,” he interjected, discouraged by her surprise.

A second of struggle to catch her own breath, she gulped in silence and cleared her throat, straightening her posture.

“Then,” she took a breath. “Let’s pretend you didn’t say anything tonight, arasseo?”

“Ne,” he complied, keeping himself calmer in front of her. From a distance, he notices the headlamp that is slowly approaching the road ahead of them. “Mister Yi is here.”

Her eyes widened, both her brows now raising with fury. “What? You called him?”

He raised his hands, his heartbeat accelerated due a different, more primal emotion. “Well, he asked for my number, and he called me. What was I supposed to do?”

“Why?” she groaned, holding in her annoyance at him. “You could’ve said no, or lied!”

“I can’t say no to your bodyguard,” he argued back, his pitch slightly elevating in panic.

“Why not?” She slowly walked closer to him. “You're scared of him? More than me?”

He took a step back. “I’m not sca—” Her question caught him off-guard, leaving him intimidated and confused at the same time. “He said it’s for your safety, sunbaenim.”

“You’re with me!” she exclaimed. “Is that not enough? You don’t think you’re trustworthy enough… We’re friends, Junghoon-ah.”

“It’s because of words like that…” he whispered. She didn’t hear, but his face got to her, likening a disheartened pup. In turn, her heartbeat also amplified in pace and volume.

“Don’t take that the wrong way!” she immediately added with a yelp before he could’ve opened his mouth, forceful to dismiss their bewildering conversation just as the stealth car was done parking right next to the curb in front of them. “I’ll deal with this.”

“Miss Zhou,” they heard the bodyguard’s hoarse yet respectful call, having exited the vehicle with his hands clasped. “It’s getting late.”

Xinyu and Junghoon walked to him. “Mr. Yi. Are my parents at the penthouse?”

“Not yet, but based on their schedule for this week, they will pay a visit tonight.”

“I told you I’m staying at a friend’s dorm,” she tried not to sound like she's whining.

“That’s not what your friends have said,” he shot back. “And Miss Park isn’t here—”

“It doesn’t matter if I’m still with Sohyun or not. That was her choice,” she snapped. For a second, Junghoon's chest tightened along as his breath shortened. “And isn’t this why I went to college? What happened to my four years of individuality, ahjussi?”

“I, umm,” he hesitated. “I understand why you're angry, but I believe you should take that to your parents, Miss Zhou. I'm only doing this for your safety… I always have.”

Looking at her suppressed irritation, Junghoon looked down on the concrete in guilt, not seeing Mr. Yi and Xinyu turning their heads at him. “I’m sorry, noona.”

“It’s fine.” She looked back at him with sorrow, just as guilty and lost due to the way she reacted at him earlier. “Just… Go home, Junghoon-ah. I can take it from here.”

They drove off into the darkness, Junghoon walked back home alone, humiliated by his own cowardice and hesitation for what transpired between him and Xinyu. Tonight, the cold spring breeze doesn’t feel as soothing as it used to be.

= = = = =

Tone’s smile shifted into a frown real quick. “You idiot! Pabo! You just fumbled your big chance, man. Come on. You either confessed or you didn’t. There’s no joking from you.”

Her phrasing simply irritated him. “What do you mean I fumbled my chance? I avoided a disaster! I know it’s a stupid thing to say, but I don’t wanna ruin anything we’ve built as friends. Besides, she and Sohyun-noona have reconnected lately, so… That’s that.”

Both Kotone’ enthusiasm and exasperation dropped. She did not expect the last sentence. “They did? Sohyun-sunbaenim is back?”

“No, not really. She’s still studying in Europe,” he clarifies. “But umm, yeah, she kept in touch with everyone from the club. Even me. And I'm grateful that it finally happened.”

“Does that mean they’re—?”

“I don’t know. I don't wanna know. That’s not my business,” Junghoon dismissed her in an instant, knowing well what her next words were gonna be. It’d be better if they were.

Kotone looked at him, more worried. Damn, that confession must’ve hurt him real bad.

“Even if there was no one else in her mind, I’ve known her long enough to know that she would rather be with someone who makes a move on her like a normal person. Someone who is more upfront and straightforward about their feelings.”

Tone sighed. “Maybe things have changed. Some people feel things they’ve never felt before. That’s normal. Xinyu-unnie is no exception to that change. Look, I know you might expect me to tell you to move on or even give you hope, but I can’t do either of those… Confess or don’t confess. I just don’t want my friend to not do something and regret it.” She reaches her hand to pat him softly on the back, caressing it in seconds.

Junghoon pondered in silence, unable to come up with any logical or witty rebuttal at his friend’s remark. Kotone shook her head and chuckled. But before she could’ve told him another word, someone from the Mad Money Club walked past them as her round eyes grew in enthusiasm having seen such familiar faces.

“Oh, it’s you guys,” Hyerin greeted each of them with a bow. “Hi, Junghoon-sunbaenim and Kotone-sunbaenim! Do you mind if I just finish my tteokbokki beside you guys?”

“No problem.” Junghoon felt a sense of relief by Hyerin’s arrival, oddly enough, as someone they’ve only known recently interrupted the very talk he was hoping would have ended. “Come sit with us, Hyerin-ssi.”

“Kamsahamnida!” She sat on the chair in front of Junghoon and Kotone. Now the two don’t know what else to talk about while their hoobae munches on some spicy rice cake while it’s steaming warm.

“What were you guys talking about?” Hyerin wondered. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Junghoon’s got a big crush on your club.” Still, Kotone didn’t hesitate to tease him.

“Tone-yah!” Junghoon mouthed, though his face is suppressing an outburst of anger in front of his hoobae. “Why would you..?” He could only let out an audible groan.

Hyerin became intrigued by their banter, even though Kotone didn't reveal any names. “Who is it, sunbae? Is it Nien-sunbaenim?”

“It’s… Not that important,” he delivered with an awkward smile. “We should head back to the others. Is fifteen minutes good with you, Hyerin-ssi?”

“Ne, sunbaenim!” Hyerin complied. “That’s enough time for me to finish this, actually.”

“Don’t worry,” Kotone patted Hyerin in the back. “You’ll find out soon enough, Hyerin-ssi. Or you won't. That's up to him.’’

“And now that you’ve brought it up.” Junghoon’s enthusiasm started to level with Tone’s mischievous voice. “Kotone-ssi here does have a crush you may be familiar with. He’s—”

Kotone’s eyes widened at his clap black. She knows what he’s up to. “Yah!”

While Junghoon was able to change the subject with Hyerin around, teasing back Kotone allowed for the three students to start getting to know each other until lunch had ended.

= = =

The skies have darkened. The sun had already set about an hour earlier. Students are packing up in their booths. After all, they still have another day to prepare their stuff.

“Junghoon-ah…” Xinyu muttered.

He immediately turned to her. “Yes, noona?”

They took one step closer to each other. The young man gulped at her closer distance.

“You have any plans after this?” she asked him with a straight face.

“Not really…” he didn't give much thought to her question, expecting another objective. “Do you need me to assist you in another booth or..?”

“No, it’s not about the festival,” she cleared up. “You did well today… I just wanna hang out, like friends usually do, you know? It’s been a while since we went somewhere by ourselves. Just no bars or clubs like last time. You remember how that turned out.”

He lets out a chortle. “Oh, good point… Then, sure. Do you have any place in mind?”

The park is the perfect balance of having quiet scenery and triumphant noise around it.

She looks amazing. I mean she always did. She does. Wait, why am I thinking like this?

It was just the two of them. They haven’t felt like this since that night. During this breezy night, the comfort of having each other’s presence when they’ve realized there is no one else they know at this park aside from each other. It’s become a special place for them, not long after he helped her sober up, as well as helping the club with cheering her up.

“Look, Junghoon,” she broke their moment of silence with a somber mood. “About what I said back then. And the times before that. It was unnecessary and hurtful… So I have to say that I'm sorry about being suspicious of you about joining.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, noona,” he attests. “That was a long time ago. And what you felt was completely valid. I have no grudge against you for thinking like that.”

“That’s not entirely true! I feel so bad knowing your halmeoni, and I just wanna apologize for everything bad that I’ve said to you, about you, or behind your back.”

“It’s okay, noona. But if it helps you relieve your mind… Apology accepted.”

She still didn't feel too satisfied. It’s a progress, though. “Should we shake hands?”

“Why are you being so formal all of the sudden?” he tilted his head at her proposition.

“Geunyang,” she raised her hand. “What, you don’t want a symbol of our reconciliation? This too melodramatic for you?”

He chuckled, playing along with her request. Their hands tangled comfortably at this surface-level formality, but Junghoon looks at Xinyu with concern. To him, this one gesture shouldn't mean anything more than burying the hatching between their past “bad blood” of misunderstandings. To welcome a feeling of comfort to each their own hearts while his lukewarm hand touched her colder palm. But it’s because of this that he started to feel something else, the longer he’s holding her hand now. His confession that night flashed back to him.

Amidst the silence, their eyes leveled with one another. Dugeun.

Funnily enough, they let go of their hands at the same second, even though Junghoon never thought of Xinyu’s reason, and it wasn’t out of discomfort that he let go, but the thought of the unknown. That feeling he feared, because of the complications it could unleash to their lives.

Dugeun.

“Sorry, noona…” he lowered his head, before straightening his posture afterwards. “I might’ve gotten a little bit too comfortable there.”

“It’s okay, Junghoon-ah… But, enough sorries,” she raises her voice, surprising him with her sudden burst in hopes of ending their awkwardness together. “We should move way past this! No more dramas and all that. We got the festival coming up… You better get your game face on.”

“What?”

With a grin, she raised her tough yet enthusiastic exterior up. “You heard me.”

= = =

The first day of the festival had begun. Most, if not all, booths from various clubs and organizations are ready to entice and entertain the students from freshman to senior. Openings across campus inevitably drew crowds, consisting of students without a club or ones who simply wandered to spy on their rivals or neighbors with interest. In the cheers of the opening rally, Xinyu would've lost her balance along the waves of the crowd surrounding her. If it wasn't for Junghoon's reflexes that caught her just in time.

“Sorry, sunbae,” Junghoon backed away from her in an instant. “Hope you're all right.”

And they're back to square one.

“No, no, you don’t have to apologize,” Xinyu immediately assured him, though she could not look him in the eye for too long. “I'm all right.” Not with their little walk last night. “But, umm, you can let go now.”

“Oh, right. Right.” Their distance grew. “Mianhaeyo, noona…”

“It's okay, Junghoon-ah.” Her gentle cadence shifted into irritation. “Stop apologizing.”

He watched her walk and blend in with the horde ahead of them, not turning her back.

“Still awkward?” He heard Kotone’s soft and sympathetic voice behind him.

“Yeah, I guess,” he mumbled. She felt the sense of despondency in his voice.

Tone patted him on the back. “It’ll pass. But this is the festival, man, come on! This only happens a few times in a year. Let’s have fun, arasseo? We got five days to do… things!”

Xinyu wouldn’t have spoken to him for a while. Though, like most of the time, they and their friend groups only saw each other from distances, or when it’s their turn to watch over the club booths, if that one only ever happened. This week, however, gave him the opportunity to focus on himself. Outside of their club. Outside of work and organization.

Throughout the next few days, fun was mainly what Junghoon attempted to experience. The campus had days worth of booths, but as much as he hated to admit it to his friends, one could explore most of them within three days. At least, that's what he did. Whenever it wasn't his turn to guard and assist their booth, he went to pursue his own adventures with his closest buddies—if they could only keep themselves together within an hour.

Looking back, the first day and second day were almost everyone else's great highlights.

The first day was the explosive most students and associated visitors had come for. For Junghoon, though, it was also the start of his separation from Xinyu. The first time in a long while on campus. It wouldn't have been a big deal for either of them, if it wasn't for the day before. The morning hours gave him moments to warm up and loosen his worry.

“Oooooooh… That was so close… Better luck next time! Hope you come back.”

“Wah… You look so cute in those photos. You're quite photogenic. Thank you so much for participating in our booth!”

“For doing well, here's a freebie along with your main prize! Kamsahamnida!”

“Are you sure you're not a part of the Judo team? Football team? No? Huh…”

“Wanna show your moves and compete with fellow passionate performers in the name of our great university? Join the Seoul State Dragons Dance Team now!”

“You're a year of the Monkey. But your spirit animal is a Brown Bear! That means—”

The afternoon, however, was more awaited by students, professors, and visitors alike, who filled up the stadium twice compared to the morning rally for the opening concert. 

The cheerleading squad returned to appetize the eyes, ears, and hearts of the audience until the setlist of main courses had finally entered the stage with their microphones and instruments to play songs both familiar and new to the public:

Now, it's eight o'clock and I'm waiting on this good guy To come pick me up, I just wanna have a good night He's pulling up, oh my God, I see the headlights And he opens my door but his car isn't yours Just let me wave to you, not wave goodbye

Let me stay by your side 'Cause it's good enough Yeah, it's good enough for me

Amudo moreul geoya Malhan jeok eopseul teni Aicheoreom ulgo sipeun sungandeul Eoreuniran mareun cham geudael himdeulge hajyo Deo oeropge mandeureo

So help me Jujeoango isseoyo Nunmul nal geot gatayo Geureonikka jebal jebal jeballyo Tell me, it's okay to be happy

And I'm sinking into the feeling that we could be so much more I'm not who I was before Could it be magic? Oh, oh, oh-oh

Oh, you're the one Nae ane yuilhan melody Neoreul bureuneun moksori Uril ieojun Moksori

Throughout those two hours, Junghoon and his friends never left their row, except for snack and restroom breaks. Captivated by the old-fashioned and soothing atmosphere of live music, they sat or stood and hummed, cheered for, or sang along with the performers from the campus’ main field stadium until sundown. Performers have consisted of students who were aspiring bands or soloists, and, of course, the rising stars, grouped or independent, who they've been waiting the whole day and afternoon.

From a certain distance, he would spot some of the Mad Money Club next to the Diamond Dreamers, screaming their lungs out while they treated certain tracks as if they were at the noraebang… There was Dahyun and Yubin holding hands with Kaede and Hyerin, respectively, continuing their so-called initiation ritual as they kept on raising their hands in the air through the beats of the more hyper and upbeat tracks.

Beside them, Seoyeon laughed at her four members as the initiation unfolded. Next to her, Yooyeon would exchange laughter and advice with the younger woman through the ocean of noises, leaving each other smiles of deep respect as they pondered about their career choices after graduation. Nakyoung and Mayu kept their arms on each other’s shoulders while grooving to the music with their bodies swaying side to side. Jiwoo and Chaeyeon leaned their heads on each other. He didn’t know the Dreamers much compared to the Mad Money Club, but seeing all of them on the same row only amplified his experience in real time, as the girls’ lyrical exhilaration the whole afternoon had mirrored his friends.

But curiosity has led to move his gaze a little more to the right of their seat. Of course, how could he forget her?

There was also Xinyu in her beauty, with her thespian friends to her left as all three of her groups savored the music on a row below theirs. Junghoon might’ve been mistaken, but from his point of view, he noticed that her eyes were watering as her lips were neutral in the latter hours of the concert while her body remained steady through the ballads. He never knew why, but before he could entertain the thought of heading down, his own guilt-ridden, grudgeful self reminded him, Until you find a way to fix this mess, just stay away from her.

As the concert ended, the hours of enjoyment and carefree sing-alongs he shared with his friends were clogged by his misplaced confession. Exiting the stadium, Junghoon shook his head in hopes of forgetting her, only fixing his eyes on the ones he’s with.

On everyone’s way home around seven in the evening, Honggi's conversation with his friends summed up the first day quite well. “Shit, guys! That was a blast, wasn't it?”

“Last year was better,” Kotone blurted without a filter, making Myungsoo and Junghoon chuckled beside her. Junghoon had no strong opinion, while Myungsoo was on Honggi's side, though he'd rather let this discourse sit out.

“What? No! That's not what you really think, do you? How about Yeonghwan-hyung?”

“Yubin-ah seemed to love it… And I didn't really have a problem with the setlist.”

“You know what? I'll take that as a win for us. Unlike Miss Buzzkill here.”

“You were the one talking shit when the ballad singer was up!” she pointed out.

“Okay, so I didn't love all the songs. Big deal… At least, there were genres for everyone.”

“You have a point about that,” she nodded, before making a pout. “But we still could've had ARTMS for this year, if they just moved the date, so I'm sticking with last year... At least I got Loossemble during the Autumn Concert.”

“Arasseo…” Honggi sneered with his cocky grin. “People will always have their biases. Agree to disagree!”

The two would shake hands, much to the rest of their friends’ amusement.

The excitement for the second day took a little dip, yet it stayed steadily high for most. It was a week they felt no worries at any deadlines or examinations or anything academics. Within those two to three days, Junghoon didn't realize he had a lot of luck on his side, as if being enrolled at an international university wasn't enough. Varieties never ran out.

“Wanna take an MBTI Test? We're confident that our methods are legit—”

“Do you wanna find out who's the Bollywood celebrity you're most similar to?”

“Take a trip around the world via our simulation! It may help with your vacay plans.”

“Annyeong! If you're interested in learning more about various cultural roots, we're delighted to invite you to take a visit at our Asian Studies Cultural Exhibit!”

“Try out our matcha-flavored ramyeon and dubai chocolate cake! We promise you, they are not as unappealing as they sound.”

Of course, festivals weren't only about fun, but it offered windows to a student's future. Plenty of booths were also prepared by academic organizations and university sponsors, hoping to catch the attention and interest of students, regardless of their collegiate year.

“Assuming your grades are above average, I encourage you to maybe join another organization next semester. Something more related to student council, if you like.”

“I hope you're interested in our offer. You might still be a junior, but you got a brigh—”

“Kid, with your work experience, our company can guarantee you an easy interview.”

With his social battery running low, he almost forgot about Xinyu. Almost. But even then, he didn't want that to be the case. A part of him kept yearning for her presence. Plus, certain songs played at the concert didn't help either for “warping” his mind or “twisting” his heart. They weren't all gloomy, but those selections just happened to latch onto Junghoon’s ears like melodic magnets.

Fast forward, and the festival’s now in its third day; noon has gotten them separated by the restless hordes of the campus crowd. Somehow, not even the passage of time could drain the traffic within campus. Not in a noisy, joyous, and busy season like this.

After several minutes, Junghoon only met up with Kotone, sitting at an empty bench, a few meters away from the more compact, active, and populated regions of the campus. Although the sun's kiss wasn’t as prickly as it was in the summer heat, this seat under the shade of an oak tree is an all-time relaxation spot.

“Where's everyone else?” he asked.

“They divided and conquered,” she hissed in sweat. “Much like you have!”

“That’s what Honggi-yah and Yeonghwan-hyung did,” he defended them with a lower pitch.

“But it was Honggi who suggested we split it… Why did you take his words seriously?”

“Well, you also said that we should have fun. On the first day.”

“Yeah… But you've practically sped-run most of them yesterday. That's far from fun!”

Junghoon didn't have much to say. Her eyes became more vulnerable, as her lips curved downwards right as she sat on the bench next to him. His problem never went away. “Is it because you always keep on bumping into Xinyu-unnie, and now she's avoiding you? Is that what's been bothering you lately?”

“It didn't bother me when I was exploring others’ booths. I got myself some prizes…”

“Mianhae, Tone-yah…”

“No, I'm sorry for raising my voice… We can't always stay together as a group, can we?”

“It’s fine, but I mean… I think we're all together matters the most.”

“That's true, now that you've brought it up.”

“I should probably head back to the booth. Volunteer for the next shift.”

“You sure?” After this two-day streak of adventure, his decision caught her off-guard.

“Yeah… I don't want to ruin everyone’s vibe.”

“You didn't ruin anything, dude. You were impressive. You, like, ascended your level!”

He shook his head, looking down in embarrassment while she gave him praise. “Really?”

“Yeah, you played your ass off on a lot of games. You talked to a lot of org recruiters, even if you were just considering. Like that's something I wouldn't expect any normal person to do these days. You're actually living the college life during campus festivals.”

He shook his head, chuckling at her praise. “You flattered me a little too much there. I just distracted myself from the club a little more while I still got time, that's all.”

“Trust me... What you did was more than some of the students staring on their phones the whole day, when they could've seized the max of their enjoyment for this week. It's like, it’s not even that hot out here around this hour.”

The dynamic experience had left him with little energy to spare. “That may be true… I still think I should slow down a little more now that I'm gonna be staying in our area.”

“Good call… We only have two days left… Maybe, just take a chill pill, or buy yourself something to eat. We don't have any academics for the whole week. We might not even get the same level of fun next year, much like with our sunbaes now.”

He nodded silently at her sentiment. Their breeze-filled atmosphere got wistful quickly.

A few seconds later, Kotone received a text on her phone. “I'm needed elsewhere.”

“Is that one of the guys?” he expected.

“Yep.” Her smile widened. “Myungsoo-oppa needs me.”

That's why, he thought. “You can say that again,” he chuckled with a smug smirk.

“Shut up! He just needed my assistance with something,” she cackled at his tease, before putting her phone inside her pocket and walking slowly towards the wide crowded plaza. “Watch your surroundings on your way back, all right? Kalke!”

And now, he's back at it again. Back into his own thoughts while his eyes wander at the many sceneries in front of him, with a spectrum of faces, from boredom to enthusiasm.

= = =

The fourth day of the festival. 08:15 A.M. Almost everyone on booth duty still had less than an hour to feel laid back before they could open to the guests on campus. But, it was also a time that was early enough for the mind of Junghoon to feel unoccupied by any form of work, for his mind to remain restless at his reminiscences of infatuation.

He was only sitting down on one of the two chairs near the entrance of the Arcade Booth's tent, drinking a cup of warm plain tea beside his most dear friend, who's taking a sip of her own cup of matcha.

“Maybe it's Stockholm Syndrome?” he suggested to Kotone nonchalantly, forcing a smirk for her to approve of his theory. “Or Seoul Syndrome? Is that a thing?”

Despite their convincing talk from last time, this conversation was far from over. Both of them were wishing it's the last time they'd have this topic, but they kept on going regardless.

“No, it's not.” The woman hit him in the shoulder, though she didn't apply much force. With more than enough patience in her calm system, she was simply annoyed and even astonished by his persistence to think of many ways of deflecting and escaping his own feelings. “You did it by yourself. You two have gotten close because you were working together closely. That's just a fact. Xinyu-unnie didn't coerce you of anything.”

He placed his forehead on his right palm, sighing on his wrist while his fingers dug through his hair. “You’re right. I can't even believe I tried to blame her… You know, it wasn't like this with Nien.”

He reminisced about Nien. How things were smooth between them. How they flirted around even when he didn't realize he was flirting, or simply because he didn't know exactly how to. Of course, she's seeing someone now because of his own inaction, and he couldn't be happier for her, but there's no doubt that she and Junghoon had something a couple of semesters ago. Whatever this feeling was now, it was crawling up to him.

“It wasn't easy, but we hit it off the moment we started talking by ourselves... I got lucky. Now with, umm… Ugh, I can't even say her name, it's weird that I just feel this way for her.”

“You meet different people, Junghoon. Luck or no luck, it's perfectly normal... It's life. Nien-sunbae has moved on. So have you.”

He softly groaned into his palms.

“You're not the problem here,” Kotone continued. “Neither is Xinyu-unnie. She just doesn't know the whole thing yet… And even if she does, there's nothing wrong with expressing how you feel.”

Junghoon remained quiet in his perplexity. It's like they have been going in circles with this. A conversational time loop, per se. Kotone had made insightful advice, but it's his own problem that he still couldn't get this itch off of him. The itch for more questions about his endless “what ifs.” They just wouldn't stop.

“If you're still not sure, maybe you can ask someone else besides me. Someone you know won't be too judgmental, or someone who’ll be more impartial in situations like this. None of that online forum shit, arasseo?”

Her suggestion had already gotten through him, although her final statement made him raise an eyebrow. “But we’ve used online forums before—”

“Learn from our mistakes, Junghoon-ah!” She raised her tone for that delivery, before softening it right after. “Please? Anons are the last people you should be asking. Even if some of them have decent answers, this isn't an AITA thing.”

A part of himself felt otherwise. Someone falling for their friend’s ex? He's heard similar stories online, ones which his friends would make fun of. Watched different variations of the same exact plot on melodramas. Perhaps that was why she wanted him to steer away from forums. He's already facing his own demons.

“Geez, all right... Calm down, arasseo. You know this isn't your problem, Tone.”

“Your problem might as well be mine…” She scrambled his hair, treating him like a troubled pup. “Aigoo, you should know I'm actually rooting for you in this. Sometimes.”

“Why?”

“You don't want it?” She leaned her face slightly downwards, raising an eyebrow.

He scratched his head. “In this situation? I'm not really sure I do… But I kinda appreciate it.”

Of course, there was another elephant in the room. One that the woman has been trying so hard to avoid in front of him. “So… Do you wanna talk about hyung?”

Kotone gave out an effortlessly heavy sigh. He knew he's not the only one going through something, but it wouldn't hurt to feel concerned about his best friend. It kind of would, but expressing his sympathy should hurt things a little less. “It's a bit too early. Maybe later, I don't know. I don't think I'm in the mood for it.”

“Of course… You know I'm also here, if you want to talk about it, or anything else, really.”

“Thanks, bud.” She leaned her head onto his right shoulder, slowly closing her eyes. A sigh followed.

===

12:30 P.M. The festival booths were occupied with more people. Junghoon was on watch duty over at the Mad Money's Love Arcade, and by their collective rules with their sister club, he got himself a companion to deal with guests while they played their booth.

The Diamond Dreamers had one of their own to assist him at the booth. So, it just had to be this woman whom he ended up asking for consultation. Even if she turned out to be much more invested in this discussion than he expected.

“I'd say just go for it!” Kim Nakyoung yelled beside Junghoon, almost startling a couple of students working on the teddy bear claw machine, while making the students on the wack-a-mole machine and console turn their heads. “Joeseonghamnida…” She craned her head to him. “It can be as simple as a confession. No need to cherry coat it.”

“I think you mean sugar coat—” he tried to correct her.

“Whatever it is, you get what I mean!”

“So… Should I really just say it? To her?”

She shrugged her shoulders, with her carefree posture impressing him. “You asked for my advice. Hell, I'm graduating next year. And if they're a senior like me, they are too. I mean, for me, the worst thing is not being able to say anything at all… You may never get that chance, if you just keep dilly dallying around with your own thoughts or keep asking around everyone you know... Live a little!”

The couple finally dropped a teddy bear into the machine’s slot, inciting a thunderous cheer from them, while Nakyoung and Junghoon gave them a supportive applause.

“Thank you for playing!” Junghoon slightly bowed alongside Nakyoung, seeing the two exit the tent while another group of four students entered the booth with their payments ready. Receiving their pay, Junghoon turned to the woman, still troubled by one more thing. “I, uhh, get what you mean… But her ex—”

“An ex is not the same as a boyfriend or girlfriend,” she told him abruptly. “There’s an ex before those words for a reason. You really want me to keep going?”

Of course, he didn't say the woman's name, which she respected. Yet, with a similar summary of the story he has told her, she echoed Tone’s sentiment.

“Not really. I just… You've made a good point. Thanks, Nakyoung-sunbaenim.”

She latched his hand with hers. A surprising, yet welcoming act of appreciation and amiability for him. “Anytime… It's been a real pleasure talking with you, Junghoon-ssi. And please, just call me, Naky… You're a good guy, so I don't see why you have little confidence in yourself in front of this mystery gal.”

He's only known Nakyoung for this whole week. She's a dance major who also happened to be in her senior year, much like Yooyeon, Dahyun, Seoyeon, Nien, and well, Xinyu. So it gave him something new to learn and ponder from her shoes. Based on how quickly he’d gotten along with the woman, he also pondered about making his move on her or just exploring an interesting direction with her, even if he surmised, he had little to no chances of making it work. He didn’t know how else to describe this woman’s vibe, other than her mannerisms being both tomboyish and feminine.

But more unfortunately for him, the “godly” presence of Xinyu had already invaded his mind, his heart, and his conversations with others.

The realization that Xinyu joked or sincerely thought he was flirting with Nakyoung days ago only irked him for a second.

In Junghoon's mind, however, he's got Kotone to thank for making a new friend, even though their distribution of tasks were more or less based on their leaders’ choices. It’d be nice if his newfound friends and acquaintances would be able to stick around in his sphere even after this festival.

“You talked with Naky-unnie?” Speaking of the devil, emerging from the tent's entrance, Tone walked to them with a medium box of loaded nachos in her hand. “Oh, she's terrible with relationship advice, Junghoon-ie. Better be careful hanging out with her.”

“Says the one who's still single,” the older woman shot back, rolling her eyes with a smirk, but she was nevertheless welcomed to take a piece of chip from the box.

“You're also single, unnie,” she effortlessly handled her would-be tease.

“Aniya!” Nakyoung came off as a little defensive for no reason. “I'm single by choice, come on. There's a difference. And just so remember, I had a boyfriend last semester.”

“So did I.”

“You did?” Junghoon's eyes widened at this revelation, but Nakyoung only shook her head with a smirk, expecting her answer.

The woman couldn't hide her own smirk from forming, unveiling hints of pride and mischief. “Well, they weren't boyfriends to say the least, but it was a few dates…”

“I knew you'd say that.” Nakyoung crossed her arms. “Fair enough.”

“So Myungsoo-hyung wasn't lying about your little blind dates?”

“Yah… Why would I be lying to him? Or any of our gang?”

“Nothing. I just, I even thought he was lying when he said he got a girlfriend. Could’ve been something you both made up.”

“Oh, yeah!” Nakyoung chimed in. “Our club thought the same when Yooyeon-unnie told us about him.”

Hearing those two names together, Junghoon stole a glance at Kotone. Her smile had dropped with her lips pursing together, avoiding any signs of vulnerability through the presence of a heavy frown. If he wasn’t mistaken, he saw her eyes getting watery by the second. She forcefully curved her lips upwards, showing her teeth.

“I know unnie’s a visual, but I never knew she'd get herself a snack like Myungsoo-ssi,” Nakyoung continued, munching on another meat-filled chip. “I mean Tone-chan, how did you make any moves on?”

“Make a move on Myungsoo-oppa?” Kotone burst with cackles, just hearing herself repeat her unnie's words. Nakyoung could only raise both her eyebrows in confusion, slowly turning her head to Junghoon. He simply shrugged his shoulders at her with an awkward chuckle, even if he had sensed an inkling of pain or at least jealousy within his friend, knowing her secret. “A snack?” Her laughter made her body shake, she had to give the nacho box to Junghoon's hands, which he held with care. “Get outta here!”

He let her laugh through her hidden angst. His do-gooder side wanted to steer the conversation elsewhere, but he already had a problem of his own, but he knew that Kamimoto Kotone is stronger than this.

“That was funny, unnie,” the woman wiped a single tear of her eye with a knuckled fist as her laughter subsided with a few coughs.

“Okay..?” Nakyoung chuckled nervously. “I'm glad that made you laugh, Tone. Welp, I'm guessing you two really just have a sibling-like relationship. You know, most girls in our class and club have him on their lists of top five campus crushes.”

That was strike two, but Kotone shook her head off with a chuckle. She took the box from Junghoon’s hands, before taking a loud and unabashed bite of a chip. “Eh, good for him. And best of luck to them getting past Yooyeon-unnie!”

And besides, they already went off tangent within a few minutes. By that time, three more batches followed the line as only one of them was able to snatch a stuffed toy. Another student sought for a quick instruction in making a jewel for their crush.

The trio had a fun time talking and laughing, but that was it for Nakyoung and Kotone on Junghoon’s list. Xinyu was still not around his radar, making him feel a tug of war between relief and wariness. A more determined half of his spirit demanded he go look after her or ask any of the Mad Money members. But that'd be a death sentence, he added, shaking his head.

He even considered getting the thoughts of the rest of the Diamond Dreamers, but then, he had to list down all the first impressions he's had with them since last week. Chaeyeon and Jiwoo seemed inseparable. The pranksters of the group, their personalities were similar and so in sync, yet they're also distinct. He wouldn't be surprised if they were actually dating or simply being intimate. Mayu adored him, but that only made him more reserved, even though he liked meeting her. Despite her deceptively high-pitched, soft-spoken voice, she's perhaps one of the most extraverted people he's met. For him, cheerful ones may or may not be more prone to spilling his beans, though he might simply be stereotyping her. And lastly, Yooyeon would be busy hanging out with Myungsoo, as far as he's concerned.

They're a no-go, he concluded.

= = =

The next hour came with a less busier crowd. But their shift at the booth was succeeded by Yubin and Jiwoo. Yeonghwan was a third wheel, albeit a willing one. Now, he made time with another close friend while they took a walk in the middle of the campus plaza.

“Junghoon-ie... You don't have to overthink it, eh?”

“You too, Myungsoo-hyung?”

Yooyeon wasn't with him at the time, but his hand was holding a shopping bag, filled with another batch of gifts and prizes he must've won at various booths. He's already learned of his gifts for Yooyeon the other day, but this was a new batch. Lucky them.

“What do you want me to say?” he raised his empty palm. “For me to say the same exact things Tone said to you—”

He turned to him with wider eyes. “Tone told you?”

He raised his hands, the handles wrapped around his wrist as the bag now dangled below his hand. “Look, she was getting really worried about you. Don't come at her, okay? I was just worried.”

She was definitely worried about Junghoon's complexity, but the latter knew exactly why her expression must've worried Myungsoo. “I'm not gonna…”

“Don't worry about the guys either. Yeonghwan’s making his moves on Yubin-ssi, which seems to be doing well. I mean, we barely saw those two not being around together. And there's also Honggi, and—well… He's being himself.”

He let out a soft snortle. “I don't disagree on that.”

“I just really think it'd be better if you just… You know? Follow your guts and set things straight with Xinyu herself.”

“That's impossible for her.”

“Why would it be? Did she already say no?”

“She might as well be with her standards. She's gay…” He's even forgotten he'd already asked a similar question to Kotone a few days ago, but his uncertain mind persevered.

“No, she's not… She's only half gay.” That sounded better in his head.

It was strange as those words entered Junghoon’s ears. “That's not how it works.”

“I know, but what I mean is, she's not against dating men!” He stopped to look at his friend's defeated, almost blank expression. “Unless… She told you otherwise.”

Junghoon exhaled through his nostrils, before his eyes faced him. “She didn't…”

“It's obvious and simple… You like the woman. You can't hide from your own feelings, man... I mean, I heard from Tone that it's been months since you two worked together, right? And… I don't believe you're betraying anyone because you ended up liking her.”

“Really?”

“Of course… You've had time with her, like anyone with another person, and things just started fluttering in your heart. Every time she's talking or approaching, it's like you feel butterflies bursting out of your stomach. Or the usual shivers creeping up your spine.”

No matter how weirded they were phrased, the imagery of his descriptions was too immaculate for Junghoon, it made him recall his moments with Xinyu all over again, mirroring their cycles of practice and rehearsal the cast of the Thespians had made for all scenes throughout their production.

“That's a gross way of putting it… Is that really how they're teaching you in your advanced English classes? I'm not even sure that's the right expression.”

He squinted his eyes. “I know. It's a hyperbole. It's just an exaggeration, just like how you're kind of exaggerating the magnitude of this whole scenario... It's like you're not even worried about the more likely possibility of you getting rejected.”

“I'm not.” He wasn't wrong, but now that he brought it up…

“That's the thing that freaks me out. Freaks us out.”

“What does?” For him, maybe it's best he felt that way.

“You don't believe in yourself.” Those words clenched his heart. “Even in hypotheticals.”

He couldn't defend himself on that one. Instead, he stomached his thought's remark. Perhaps, that's just really me. But he knew that would be an answer that would only make Myungsoo persist and continue buttering his esteem, so he had no other choice, but to give into his straightforward advice. He's the one with the girlfriend after all. “Maybe I, uhh, should just say it to her, then. Up front.”

Myungsoo stood up from his seat, mustering up what was left of the energy he had for his friend conserved in this conversation as his volume leveled up. “Yes, exactly! Stop thinking about the many ways she can reject you and just come clean with her.”

He took a deep breath, before his lips curled upwards. “Okay, then. Thanks, hyung.”

The older one stepped closer to give him a few pats on his shoulder with a humble smile.  “Anytime, bud… But… Are you sure you're not gonna ask for someone else after this?”

“I won't.” He intended to stop there with his voice commanding some sense of certainty, but his mind couldn’t handle more and more variables coming through the scenarios he had kept on playing. “I'm not…” he added. “I think.”

“You think?” Myungsoo knew he couldn't stop his friend from being like this. “That doesn't sound very reassuring.”

Junghoon cleared his throat, deafening his thoughts long enough to assure Myungsoo. “I won't. I won't. That's final, I promise.”

With a smile, Myungsoo realized he would simply have to put his trust in his bud. “Good. Now go get her answer.”

= = =

It was five-thirty in the afternoon. Running out of more impartial voices to listen to, Junghoon stepped inside the professor's office. One in particular.

“You may come in now, Junghoon-ssi.”

And yes, Myungsoo still wasn't enough. Junghoon had to ask someone older than all of them. More impartial, but maybe with more experience... It was someone he had never considered asking for advice during his three years (and counting) in Seoul State University.

“Are you asking for advice?”

Until now.

“Uh, ne, seonsaengnim.”

“But…” By the look of uncertainty in your expression, he already senses that something's off. “I'm guessing this isn't about grades, is it?”

His hands were trembling. Regret was coursing through his veins. “Joesonghamnida, Professor Jeong. I didn't mean to waste your time.”

“Oh, no, no!” He waved and shook his hands as the young man stood up in unease. “It's okay! Sit down, sit down. Come on, your grades are up. They’ve always been improving. I had a hunch you're not here for consultation. Not about academics, I presume.”

“Is it really that obvious?”

“Uh-huh… And how can you forget that we've talked about your little project case with Sohyun-ssi, which we've handled that well. Look how she's doing now. I don't see why we can't deal with this problem either. You know, just off the books.” The professor's voice of approachability persisted through his sentiment. Made Junghoon realize that any other professor wouldn't have let it slide after Sohyun confessed about their project, which he carried while she was occupied with her organization. “But—if you really aren't comfortable with it, you can just tap out, arasseo?”

And so he tried to put it as an “asking for a friend” situation. He practically transcribed a whole forum question into his own words, which someone could have called him out for committing plagiarism or a repeated question if he asked it himself online. Expounding on his words, Professor Jeong kept his attentive ears and eyes, treating the situation as his student was reciting in the lecture hall. A minute has passed as he gave a couple of nods to his pupil and placed his chin on his fingers, leading with the realization that…

“You're falling for someone. Is that what you're telling me here?”

The young man stopped his tracks, stunned with his own eyes widening and his lips slowly opening. He heaved out of nervousness and that gave away almost everything.

The professor let out a laugh, but not one that comes off as mockery or pitiful. In a way, it evokes a sense of nostalgia or yearning for a semblance of the past. And yet, Junghoon remained confused. Anxious at his next choice of words. Still, he did not want to leave.

“It's just…” he was still in disbelief. “Wow, young love really doesn't go away, does it? It's everywhere. This is new.”

“But, umm, I don't have to say who—”

“You absolutely don't have to say who. I'm here to give my two cents on the situation, not the identity of the people in it. I couldn't care less if it's a man or a woman.”

“Oh. Okay, then… Here's the thing.”

He told him the gist of his love scenario. Although the absence of context clues like with Nakyoung and background like with Kotone made his recap a little longer. But it felt like a breath of fresh air that the professor didn't ask questions while he was telling his story, nor the fact that he only asked a few as soon as he was finished.

“So… You said you never had these feelings before you two became closer friends.”

“Ne.”

“And those feelings came after they broke up with their ex?”

“That's correct.”

“Don't make this a matter of whether she'll accept your feelings or not… It's completely understandable that you're worried about her reaction, or the possibility that she hasn't moved on from her ex, but getting your feelings off your chest should be enough to help get through this, Junghoon. That's what I'm reading from you. Be clear with your intentions.”

He was basically giving a free lecture, something that made Junghoon listen on, albeit without any notes on his own phone or notebook. Every word went through his mind and heart.

“You got it?”

“Ne.”

“But also remember to give her some space. Her time, okay? Things ain't all easy as it seems. Even for them.”

And as the bell rang the second time, classes had ended for those who were attending. He offered his hand, signaling a formal handshake, which he quickly reciprocated.

Standing up from his seat, now wearing his shoulder bag, Junghoon gave Professor Jeong a bow of gratitude and farewell. “Kamsahamnida.”

He raised a fist into the air while sending off the young man outside his office. “Best of luck, my student. Hwaiting.”

Of course, he never had classes for this day or any more stuff to deal with at the festival for the evening, so he knew himself there was only one place to head to, if it wasn't any more obvious. On his way outside the department building, however, fate or whatever form of chance and circumstance had intervened as his single path to home ended up crossing with the one and only…

“Xinyu-noona…”

He hasn't seen her that often this morning, but her closed lips formed a smile. Not too apparent from afar, but it was enough to tell her relief from it. “I thought I wouldn't see you today,” she muttered, slowly walking towards him. “What're you doing here?”

“Just a short consultation with Professor Jeong.”

Her head tilted to the right. “That was pretty random… On festival week?”

“Yep… Just wanted to check my grades, since they're still not updating on the site.”

She giggled. “Oh, okay… I forgot that you're kinda grade-conscious.”

“Speaking of which, how was your festival?”

“Pretty swell… Just got some internship offers. How about you? I heard.”

“Yeah… Well, I kinda regret doing it.”

“Wae? You had fun. Seoyeon and Hyerin-ie were surprised how wild you were.”

“Something must've come over me. I'm surprised you didn't have fun with your friends.”

“We had enough. This would be our annual fourth festival, after all, so that's kind of the last thing on our minds. Most of us, at least.”

He simply nodded, with his lips pursed. “That makes sense.”

They took a walk outside the building, letting both their autopiloted legs and bodies take them wherever on campus. Passing through the less crowded areas, they saw a third of the booths in their sight started to close down before the sun set. It was neither their turn on duty to close down the arcade for today, so they had one less thing to talk about… Other than the very thing they should've been talking about to begin with.

Of course, he had to be the first one to break the silence. “Hey, look. I'm sorry…”

“Don't be…” Her tone immediately sounded remorseful. “It was just all of the sudden, you know? What you said about that feeling.” Not to mention, their accidental touch.

“I know.” His orbiting guilt couldn't even let her finish. “That's why I'm apologizing.”

“Junghoon-ah…” She paused for a moment as they kept on walking. Junghoon simply looked at her with an almost neutral expression. Dilly dallying around wasn't her style, especially in a situation as somber as this one. “Can't we just go back to being friends?”

“We still are, aren't we?” Junghoon didn't hesitate to tell her that.

“You know what I mean…”

“I wouldn't mind that, to be honest.”

“You wouldn't mind or you wouldn't care?”

She knew he couldn't choose between the two, not because he's unaware of the difference, but because he knew how he really felt.

He answered her with, “You said we should just pretend like nothing happened, right?”

“Yeah…” she only mumbled, staring deeply into his clenched hands.

That baffled him even more. “You seem eager to bring it up again.”

“I just wanna know what's going on with your mind?” she confessed. Her nerves were struck by his counter, but she didn't deny it. “What's led to this…”

He exhaled with struggle in his thoughts. “I couldn't figure it out myself either—”

“Bullshit,” she muttered with a snortle. Not letting him away easily with I don't know(s) and I'm not sure(s). “Start with when.”

“Believe me or not, I'm not sure…” Despite his uncertainty, he ought to give her an honest answer. “I first realized it that night. I guess it wasn't long before that, but I… I tried ignoring it.”

A memory reminded her. “But before that… When Sohyun and I were still together—”

It was a question he knew was bound to be asked. He still didn't know how to phrase it. “I, uhh, I didn't feel a thing for you.”

“Ouch.” That came out wrong in both their ears. And yet, such honesty amused her.

He closed his eyes. “I didn't mean it like that. I was more or less just intimidated by you.”

“Double ouch, but I guess it can't be helped.” His confession made her grin teasingly. “Lots of folks are intimated by me. Though, the feeling was mutual… I mean—I even thought you were into her back then.”

“No, no, no, noona… I didn't see her like that. I never had a close friend since Tone and the rest of the guys, but having a new friend like Sohyun-noona, and, well, you girls has changed that for me. In some way.”

“In what way?”

“Like having sisters?” Regret immediately lit up through his eyes.

Intrigue and confusion entered her psyche. “So, with Nien, is that—”

“Not in a literal way…” he had to clarify that pretty quickly. “Like having female friends.”

Though he wanted to move on, she continued to make a guess. “By having sisters… Is that, umm, how you see Kotone-yah? Is she like a sister to you?”

He could only respond with a nod.

“Did you have any siblings?” she added.

“None that I know of. I'm an only child, so…” He rarely brought up his family, but knowing more about him, something that no one else knew, was slowing down the tension Xinyu was feeling about him. When it's just the two of them. It felt calming.

Her eyes moved to the side, stealing a glance of his face. “So, it was just Nien, then?”

“Was…” His throbbing heart pushed the need to correct it. He knew what she meant. “I really did like her, but…”

Dugeun, she heard it in her chest while looking down. “Glad to hear your perspective.”

“But you and Sohyun-noona made each other happy, so I stuck with you. With the club. In time, I knew each of you more, respected your capabilities. Admired your closeness.”

She listened on to the flow of his heartfelt sentiment without the need for interruptions.

“I thought we could just be friends,” he continued, letting his heart speak. “I guess that was all I asked us to be, before this whole thing came through... I don't care what we are or what may be, but I do care about you. I'll keep caring for you and the club... Unless, you don't want that anymore.”

His final sentence triggered a pinching, prickling feeling in her heart. “Junghoon-ah…”

And in spite of Xinyu's eagerness to mutter a word, he heard a gulp from the woman. She thought this would be easy to deal with, but she underestimated how it felt to feel something or anything, no matter how unsure she was. Unfortunately, before she could form a response, they would realize that they've already reached the main campus gates.

“I'll go…” Although Xinyu noticed it first. “Take care, Junghoon-ah.” She walked off.

Junghoon slowed his breathing down as much as he could. In Xinyu's departure, his thunderstorm storm of thoughts weren't there to accumulate and save his sorrow while still standing in the silence. It's been a long and exhausting four days of exploring events or babysitting booths for everyone.

= = =

“How do you feel about her, dear?”

Junghoon saw his grandma walking up to him while his eyes stayed on the boiling pot. “It's not that simple, halmeoni.”

“I'm sure it isn't… I'm not saying it is. But then again, maybe you don't have to overcomplicate it, either.”

The broth tasted no saltiness, though savoriness was starting to sneak into his tongue. “Huh?” His halmeoni’s words did confuse him, however.

“Let me handle this.” The woman moved over to the kitchen counter, taking the ladle from her grandson, despite his plea not to. “Just do it. You’ve done everything here… Just stand there and don't think about anyone else. Just think of her.”

“How? That’s just… That doesn't make sense. Just had a little more salt to it, halmeoni.”

“Okay, then…” She followed his tip, before telling him, “Clear your mind. Of any other disruptive thought that may stand in your way. Just remember this woman… How she makes you feel. The warmth of her hand on yours, only if you have made it that far, at least. Her being around your company. How comfortable do you feel, Junghoon-ie?”

He closed his eyes for a bit. A few memories flashed and sprinkled across his mind. Particularly their walks at Keuri-go Park. “She makes me feel really good, I guess.”

“Go on. How does she make you feel good?”

“Just her company. Her humor and her confidence. It's out of this world. She makes me comfortable. Even though her hands were cold, they were calming. It always surprised me when she just latched onto my hands, but they always felt comforting… Some people call her ice queen or a cold-hearted princess, but they just don't know her enough.”

“And what do you know about her that other people don't?”

“She’s passionate about her work. She cares about her clubmates, her fellow thespians.”

His grandmother let out a chuckle. “There you go, dear…”

“You seem to know a lot about things like this.”

“Just enough… Your mother and father were beating around each other's bushes when they were younger… I guess, some things haven't changed."

She's barely brought up his parents. Not since they passed. Hearing them without a heart-wrenching sensation in his chest felt soothing, somewhat nostalgic even.

His eyes lit up and widened with curiosity. “Were they really like that?”

“Mmm-hmm… They weren't all that close when they were studying, but they made it work. I didn't even know they were mingling behind our backs until they graduated! Those lovebirds couldn't hold it in.”

Her laughter infected Junghoon. He rarely remembered anything substantial about them, unless he had to ask her or look into their family albums. He didn't remember them being in love, but he'd rather have the benefit of the doubt that perhaps, he was simply too young to remember everything.

She placed her palms on his shoulder. “Hey, if this girl is not interested in you, then it shouldn’t be a big deal, okay? It may hurt, but you'll just have to own it and live with it. There's more plentiful fish in the sea, dear.”

“That's so cliché, halmeoni.” She's not wrong, but her delivery made him shake his head.

“That doesn't mean it's untrue,” she countered, leaving her grandson with a chuckle of acknowledgement. “You know, the thing with you young-ins days these is that—”

“Halmeoni,” he whined, making her laugh out loud at his reaction. She knew it would get him, but she truly wanted to ease the storm of worries swirling within his heart.

“Things will get better, my grandson.”

“Thanks, halmeoni… Now please drink your medicine, all right?”

“Way ahead of you… Also, dinner's ready, if it's all good with you.”

It's been days since we wanted to make sure. And now, there was no one else for him to confide in, no one he'd chosen, at least. And yet, after all those talks and consultations, it didn't feel enough for Junghoon. And then, another realization sprung up. Maybe it's no longer about confiding, nor reassurance that he's looking for. On the same night, he just wanted to take one last stop in order to “get this over with,” once he's done with dinner.

= = =

A few hours later. Inside his room, Junghoon has been waiting on his desk for the past ten minutes, seeing himself on his old computer’s screen, before Sohyun’s face finally appeared with him on the video calling program. It was 10:14 P.M in Korea.

He raised his hand to wave at her. “Hey, noona…” His heart accelerated at a steady pace.

“Junghoon-ah!” The background and overall surroundings of the café wall behind her was bright as day, and so was her expression. “I was wondering when you'd call me.”

That made him think of everyone else. “Have the others—?”

“Yep.” She took a bite of her biscuit. “They were the first, actually.”

“I'm glad to hear that,” he told her while she took a sip of her cup of coffee.

“Just yesterday, we talked for like almost two hours. Like each of them couldn't stop yapping about their day, ‘cause they all can't be staying in the booth and enjoying the festival at the same time!”

He couldn't help but smile wider. “You must've had no idea how much they missed you.” It's as if he never had a problem in the past week or two. That's just how things went.

“I imagined it a while back,” she admitted with her watery eyes. “But I guess I have now, so I don't have to imagine them anymore… I missed them a ton… All of you, you know.”

“Me too, noona… And I'm guessing you've also met the new members?”

“Oh, definitely! We even exchanged our contacts just after the call.”

“I see you still got that Park Ssaem charisma,” he teased. “Even from the other side of the world.”

“Oh, would you stop that?” she chuckled. “They were just really, really fun to get along with. It's not that hard to explain it, but seeing those two reminded me of when we first got together as a small-time club.”

She was referring to the founding of the Mad Money Club, which he or Yubin weren’t a part of, but seeing Sohyun with her smile and nonstop talking gave Junghoon a sense of nostalgia. For a time that might not happen ever again. Not in the same fashion, at least. “Really? Care to list down your first impressions of them?”

“Are you quizzing me now just because I'm not there, while you’re wilding out on every booth you find and winning a lot of stuff on your own?” she grinned, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m not even gonna ask how you found that out, but it's not like that. I'm just curious, that's all. The old meeting the new sounds intriguing. It's a bummer I even missed it.”

“That's what you get for working at the booths too hard,” she pouted. “But, since you asked nicely, first and foremost, Hyerin was pretty adorable. She's too passionate about helping at the booth… Kaede-chan was also super duper cute, but she was definitely much tougher to get in touch with. I should've probably practiced a little more Japanese… But speaking of Kaede, I heard that you're able to ‘soften her up’ during your first meeting.”

There was no doubt in his mind she'd bring it up. “Yeah... That moment was also tough for me the first time.”

“You mean scary?” she leaned closer into the screen, playfully intimidating him, strikingly mirroring the vibe he had felt from the younger member at the time.

“Not that scary…” He shook his head from side to side, though his exterior of a smooth and deepened voice was shaking at the recollection of that moment.

“I heard you froze when she kept asking you about your role in the club.”

He couldn't help but be more playfully aggressive. “Okay, who told you? Did Dahyu—”

“Everyone did.”

He sighed in defeat. “Of course, they did.”

“Don’t worry, hoobae… I'm really proud you've gotten yourself out of your shell for that situation. You showed Kaede-chan that respect is something that she's gotta give, if she wants to earn it from everyone… You've been a part of the Mad Money Club, Junghoon. No one's telling you otherwise.” She's still the same old mentor he looked up to.

“I, umm, that was hell of a compliment. Gomawayo, noona.”

“Don't mention it. We're always glad to have you... All of us.”

He wanted to say it. Steer the conversation elsewhere. But he also missed her presence. So he did his best, prolonging their conversation in the next thirty minutes, until he got the chance to talk about her current state of affairs in her new home.

Junghoon led the change of subject with, “So… How's Paris so far, noona?”

“Not too bad. I remembered some stuff online really hit hard around here, but yeah—”

Her voice had hints of discomfort and snickering. “We're they right about the city?”

“I'm afraid they're not too far off. Parts of the city are well… Not the cleanest, I think the neighborhoods outside campus are a million times cleaner compared to here.”

“I'm sure there are still great parts of it, right?”

“Of course, of course! The Eiffel doesn't look like it's rusting yet. Unlike the love locks on their bridge.”

They exchanged a moment of unbridled laughter.

“You're talking about that lovers’ bridge, right?” Junghoon had taken another steer.

“Mmm-hmm. They did stop putting locks there years ago, though, but I still couldn't help but imagine it being there at times when I was there as a kid… It's like, I wanted those things to stay there.”

Deep down, he wondered if she felt the same thing about her old flame.

“And by the way, food's pretty good, too…” she added. “And oh yeah, the surroundings did get much cleaner when officials were preparing for the Olympics, so I gotta give them some credit.”

A few more minutes would pass. Sohyun gave him more highlights of French culture, the good, the bad, and the ugly of it all. Eventually, she ran out of words by the fortieth minute. And that's when he gave in to the guilt-ridden temptation of bringing up Xinyu.

“I hope I'm not ruining the mood, you said you talked with everyone in the club.”

“Maja… Just speak your mind.”

“Okay… Then that means, umm, you and Xinyu-noona you've also reconnected, right?”

“Yeah, we've talked, too. It was…” She gave out a heavy sigh. “Weird. And strange.”

Out of desperation, his thoughts regressed, hoping it would allow him to escape his problem. “Things usually are, but I'm sure it'll get better once you try and talk about starting things over again with—”

“Aniya,” she interrupted him with a somber smile. He only froze, clueless on what to say next, like she turned down his implied suggestion.

“What?”

“We're not getting back together,” she told him up front. No tears in her behind her eyeglasses. Not a sight of twitch in her fingers or any sign of discomfort. At least, not one that one could see. Who wouldn't be uncomfortable hearing the name of their ex?

“Why not?” he kept digging. “Noona… What happened? When you two reconnected.”

“It's what we both decided…” She pursed her lips for a second, producing a sound that broke their air of silence. “We've been friends before. I don't see why we can't now.”

“Oh… But is that how you feel?”

“What I feel?” she almost chuckled at his question. But she wasn't too bothered. “I don't think that's what matters to me right now, but… A part of me wants to heal from this… I couldn't keep wallowing in my past, because I have a life here now.”

He tried examining her face, but she knew how she felt. What she truly wanted. Bittersweet as it might be, he sensed a glimmer or hope of happiness from her.

“I know what you're trying to do, Junghoon-ie.”

However, he failed to sense her gaze of suspicion, something he's failed to do in the past.

Panic set in within seconds, leaving him almost paralyzed. “What?”

“And I appreciate it.” But her voice remained composed. Welcoming, still. “If I'm being honest, it was hard for me to adjust here…”

“I can't imagine how it must've been.”

“I'm feeling happier now, to say the least. Made a couple of friends.”

“I hope they're treating you well.”

“Oh, they very much are. And I met some folks from Korea, too, but I'm not too close with all of them yet.”

“It’ll all work out, noona. You being you should be enough to find more people to vibe with. Someone like the Mad Money Club.”

“I hope it will… But, I also want to thank you so much for taking care of her. Of Xinyu. The girls wouldn't have been there, back with the new club, if it weren't for you.”

“It's the promise I made, so…”

“Don't just do it because of our promise. I'm just happy none of you are having a fallout or some big fight, but I hope you stay with them as long as you want.”

Despite her moment of reassurance, he's felt even more unsure on how to deal with this emotional turmoil he's facing and keeping all to himself.

“Is everything all right, Junghoon-ah?” In all of their time together, he rarely got the chance to speak around a crowd, but when it's one on one, it was not hard for someone close to him, especially like Sohyun, to read Junghoon's face when he's in deep thought. “Did Xinyu tell you about me or something? Did any of them say something strange or worrying?”

The thing is she didn't. I mean barely. Around him, of course. He was just an assistant. A friend she made half a year ago. He's the one who told her something strange.

“I'm guessing you wanna tell me something about her? Should I be worried about something?”

Something miniscule had been itching throughout his body. Tempting himself to open his mouth and just say it. Just those words. Variations of them. “I'm falling for your ex-girlfriend. I'm falling for her. It's fucking insane, but I don't know how else to put it… Please don't be mad at me—”

“Our friendship is over. Stay away from her.”

“I swear I didn't mean for things to happen this—”

“You call yourself a friend? You fucking creep—”

“Please… I'll just stop. I don't have to tell her anything—”

“You and Xinyu?” she burst out laughing. You saw her almost spilling her mug off her table. “Fat chance, you fat—”

“It's nothing,” he could only answer her with a slight chuckle. “There’s nothing that she hasn't told you before…” just before adding, “Not that I know of.”

“That's nice,” she told him while she heaved a sigh. “Xinyu-yah really is feeling better. You had me worried there for a sec.”

“I’m just…” he heaved as well. He didn't want to make things worse. “I really hope things are doing better there, noona. I hope… We can see you more often soon.”

“Well… I'm not sure about that yet. Maybe, I'll check my schedule for a holiday… But I also hope things are great back there at home, Junghoon. Say hi to halmeoni for me, arasseo?”

Another breath of relief left his mouth, but he didn't know what to feel relieved about. “Of course! I will, noona. Take care...”

Maybe reconnecting with her was more than enough. Hearing how she still felt for her ex. But it kept bugging him, so maybe he could still do a last second to finally set it s—

“All right, all right…” Sohyun's eyes appeared less agitated. It's her usual calmness, even Junghoon could feel like he had said enough, based on her gaze. “Take care of yourself, Junghoon-ie. Kalke!” Sohyun waved at him from her screen. He waved back, the same time she ended the call a second later.

That was it. My only chance to admit the truth. Way to go, Geum Junghoon.

Okay… So that only went… Nowhere, Junghoon thought to himself. And yet, little did he realize that, maybe all his halmeoni, professor, Kotone, and even Nakyoung were all right about their insight. Maybe he shouldn't think of this as complicated as it should be. Perhaps everything simply leads to this. He had to face his own feelings, head-on, since by the end of the day, the worst he can receive is a no. Or a broken friendship, but he'd rather dial it back to getting a good ol’ fashioned rejection from Zhou Xinyu, and then negotiate for friendship, if that's even possible. Or don't, and just accept the consequences of his risky actions, even though he hasn't even made a decision yet.

He's had sleepless nights because of it. A young love like his should not be this complicated. He knew it's not love, but the feeling's enough to drive him crazy. He knew she was not taken or actively interested in anyone anymore. She made it clear she wasn't into dating or seeing anyone in general, but that's also none of his business.

But guilt kept crawling on his back with its piercing legs. His lungs were pumped up with anxiety before he could breathe out and speak with remorse. By the end of his talks, however, he realizes that things didn't have to be this difficult, if he just stopped thinking about those factors that paralyzes him. About Xinyu’s thespian folks. About the voices. About their differences. About Sohyun. The simple truth is, he just likes Xinyu, and if that's a crime, it is one that he’d be willing to pay and get punished for.

His phone vibrated. A text was sent from Xinyu herself. A surprise, to be sure.

[Meet me tomorrow after the booths close.] [Only if you're free.] [Are you free?]

Still unsure if it's a welcome one, however.

The typing icon from the other side kept moving whenever he tried to type something. Is she going back and forth with her messages? Three seconds later, they both stopped.

[Just reply if you're free or not.] [Please.]

He couldn't help but chuckle. Somehow, he's hearing her groan out of embarrassment from the other side of the screen just for typing another follow-up reply. Now, he began typing his response, realizing there was no other way from this mess he had made.

The only way was forward, and he just had to make and find the time for that. They have made almost every afternoon ever since Junghoon enlisted as her production assistant, to a mere fellow producer. The same walk. The same park she treated as a safe space.

They became good and reliable friends. There was no doubt from him about that. And in his hopeless spirit, tomorrow night might end it, now that Xinyu has probably made up her mind and contacted him for the first time ever since they've "ghosted" each other.

{I'm free tomorrow, noona.}

= = =

On the fifth night of the festival, Junghoon planned to check on his closest friends when he got a call from Xinyu, five minutes after wrapping up the Love Arcade Booth or the Jewelry Stand with their clubmates. She rarely called him, while he never called anyone unless necessary, and so he suspected she was serious in meeting him, reminding him of her text last night.

For this week, this was about the second time they’re spending time without the accompaniment of Mad Money Club, the Diamond Dreamers, or even his closest buds. Maybe it’s because of his promise to Sohyun as to why Junghoon rarely ever said ‘no’ whenever Xinyu asked for his sole companionship.

Up to this point, he hasn’t questioned why she would ask him, and only asked him to go with her to walks like this. The only question that was now lingering in his thoughts is why her presence started to make him feel things again, which is the last thing he wants to happen, especially whenever he’s with her—especially now that she finally was aware of his once hidden affection.

As per usual, they took a stroll across the local Keuri-go Park. Away from all the buzzes and ringing they’ve experienced throughout most of the week, they found time to relax within each other’s presence. Just the two of them around strangers minding their own businesses after sunset.

“So, Seoyeon-noona just texted that she, Soda-noona, and Hyerin-ssi were able to count a total of 857,921 won from our Love Arcade. That's not even counting our collab wit—”

“Aniya, aniya…” Xinyu aimlessly whisked her hand. “We agreed to finalize the whole costs and earnings by the weekend… But that's not why I texted you last night.”

“Oh… Okay.” This is it. It's bound to lead into this. “That's just a T.M.I. then.”

They just walked past the playground and the grand garden, when she was staring at her right palm and her fingernails. “I hope I didn’t ruin any of your plans tonight.”

“Aniya,” he affirmed. “Gwaenchanayo, noona. I didn’t really have much to do.”

“You and your buddies aren’t gonna hang out and celebrate?”

“Well, you called me first, so you must need my help with something.”

She started rubbing her hands together. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“We had fun in the past few days... We're mostly together the whole festival.”

“Why didn’t you hang out with them now then? Why'd you say yes to my text?”

“I guess you’re more important tonight,” he asserted, albeit coyly. “I haven’t got to hang out with you in a while, so when you hit me up, I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

Her face was heating up, blushing pink. Such realization made her shiver beside him.

“What’s the matter, Xinyu-noona?” He, too, slowly noticed the sudden change of color on her face. Based on his observation, his mind immediately thought of the extreme. “Wait, did you drink before meeting me here? I told you not to—”

“No!” exclaimed Xinyu, startling even herself, before lowering her voice. “I’m sorry, but umm no, I’m not drunk. I can’t and shouldn’t, remember? Especially not for this.”

“And this is?”

“This is just—Arghh!” she groaned, upset with her own inability to say what her mind has been telling her for a while. “I’m not the best at expressing myself… On things like this. Just bear with me for a bit, mmm?”

Little did he know, she’s not that far off from feeling similar things. That night must’ve done more than just shake her up. It still lingers within her. In spite of her own internal embarrassment, she couldn't keep her eyes off him. She’s sober as a judge, but coming up with any logical and comprehensible response was something she was finding difficult to think of at this very moment. Yet there’s a rhythm that only she could hear inside her.

Dugeun. Dugeun. Dugeun. Dugeun.

Junghoon was oblivious, or just hesitant to predict her next words. “Things like what?”

“What you said last week. And before that.”

“Yeah?” His head tilted to the side. “I thought we’ve gone over that.”

“I don’t wanna keep beating around the bush,” she told him with a straight cadence. “Why am I like this?” she whispered the latter to herself, finally breaking her already crumbling walls of hesitation after letting out a shaky sigh.

He’s starting to feel a bit concerned by her strange behavior, unsure whether or not she answered his question truthfully. “Okay..?”

She raised her voice a little louder, more commanding. “You said you like me, right?”

Such a statement and delivery caught him off guard. But he couldn't make himself look like a fool. Just chill and shake off any tension. She will just turn you down. No biggie. Isn’t this what I wanted? Some kind of closure? Just don’t talk too much. As he was now flooded with thoughts, his mind started to panic, just as his heart was beating louder.

“I–I said that in the sense that I very much respect you, sunbae,” Junghoon stammered. Now, he's just lying poorly. “You know when you’re… I mean, who doesn’t—” But out of nowhere, he locked in on his cadence and straightened his posture. She already knows, and there's no point in taking everything back. “Let’s make it clear: who wouldn’t like you? You’re Zhou Xinyu. You're a likeable person, in general.”

She's flabbergasted. And kinda impressed. “And what made you like me? In general?”

“You’re a campus star!” he gave his first point, toughening his chest and his tone.

A little superficial for her, though. She raised an eyebrow. “You like me for my fame?”

“That's not what I mean, noona.”

But she wanted to hear more. “Then what else makes me generally likeable as a person?”

It seemed like she was simply quizzing him. Messing with him in a playful manner. And yet, the more and longer she listened, things were becoming much, much clearer to her.

“You are beautiful, confident, creative, hilarious, and responsible—”

“Hmmm… You're just listing traits. What makes me all of those?”

“Well… First off, you're not as cold or cunning as they say you are. You are cunning, but that's just your way of being confident, you know? That makes you admirable and umm, kinda cute, to be honest.”

She let out a chuckle. Her cheeks had been slowly reddening, but Junghoon just couldn't notice. He kept going, gave his all in what could be their final time in this peaceful place.

“Whether you're a performer or a part of the production, you showed how passionate you are, noona. You might be serious or strict at the crew at times, but you're like that because you care about the whole project. You care about them not wasting their own efforts by letting themselves keep slacking off…”

She was hearing parts about herself she wouldn't expect to hear, not from him, but her chest began to thump louder and louder. “Yeah? What else?”

“I really like that you don't care what anyone else thinks… You just do something when you set your mind into it. Even if life has been one big pain in the ass, you kept going…”

Her smile widened, as her eyes began to appear watery. “Go on…” And yet, she kept herself from tearing up. The water simply stayed in her eyes, making herself glisten.

He would've kept going even if she forced him. “You've always been approachable when your friends need you. Even if you're not in the mood, you always push yourself to be with them, because you know they’ve also been there for you when it felt the hardest.”

Dugeun. Dugeun. Dugeun, she just kept hearing it inside her. “I like you, Junghoon-ah.”

“And I really like it too when you’re being sincere and honest, just like—” A collective ding throughout the neurons in his brain shattered his trains of thought. “What?!”

Despite his mouth still being open, no words nor sound came out of it. His mind kept its guard closed with counterarguments of doubt and deflection. But his heart wasn't lying.

Xinyu kept her hands clasped, absorbing every once of the heat she might need to bear this cold spring breeze. “I’ve thought about what you said last time... And for a while now, I don’t think I can keep ignoring it anymore.” Junghoon hasn’t heard her sound this serious, not in a long time. Not when it’s just the two of them. “I like you, too.”

“What I said… But, how about you and Sohyun-noona—”

He knew Sohyun’s perspective the night before. But he felt too vulnerable to trust or assume anything else at the moment. Right now, he wanted to rid himself of his doubts. Her name had always shaken Xinyu, yet here and now, she didn't feel a single puncture.

“We did catch up with the rest of the girls, that’s true,” she began to clarify. “But even though we had a rough breakup, we talked things out and… I’m still happy for her as a friend. That’s it... Just don't think about her, Junghoon.” She took a step closer to him, making him take a deep breath at her gaze. “Not anyone else… Let’s talk about us, now. And consider this. Without anyone else.”

“Xinyu-noona…” he was still at a loss for words, yet she’s already in front of him with a look of yearning. He recalled Tone’s words, about fumbling his chance. Nakyoung’s risk taker view. Myungsoo’s all-in advice. The professor's cautiousness. His grandma's lovey dovey comparisons. He still didn't believe what he just heard right now. All his days of asking for words have led to this night. “Did you mean that? Do you really…like me?”

“Every word…” A soft smile formed on her face, yet her words kept going, spiraling into mixed inflections of distress, confusion, thrill, and elation, as she let her heart speak to him. “I thought we’d just be fine as friends and you are a great friend. But I don’t know, it’s just—Aish… I start to feel strange whenever you’re around, and I know it all sounds cheesy and high school-like and it is so unlike me! But whenever we hang out or touch hands. Or when I just… See you. And realize, I don’t hate that feeling… I just haven't felt that in a long time, but I never hated it, Junghoon… And, umm, I’m sorry that it took me a while to think things through, but, if you don’t like me any—”

Junghoon pulled her inches closer in a soft yet staunch embrace. In his arms, Xinyu’s eyes closed slowly, smiling, as she felt his soft and intimate warmth enveloping her in seconds. Her tempestuous heartbeat calmed down, yet it still fluttered on the same tempo and volume when she was still looking at him eye to eye moments ago.

“You took your time just right,” he muttered next to her ear. “I really, really, really like you Xinyu-noona.”

Xinyu's smile widened at his affirmed and repeated confession, before reciprocating his with her much longer arms wrapping around his shoulders, pulling him in closer. A little bit tighter, without discomfort. They didn't need anyone else tonight. Simply each other.

Walking around Keuri-go like last time in the middle of nine o’clock in the evening was nothing new to them. But now, the two finally feel and acknowledge the sparks between them. Their heartbeats are fluttering within each other’s presence. Smiling and looking away from each other whenever they ended up staring at each other’s eyes at the same moment. Yet they can’t help but interlock their hands while they giggle and chuckle in between the silence.

“Why…” he mumbled beside her ears, still curious. “Why’d you say yes?”

The woman turned to him with a face which he couldn't quite fully read, but it didn't come off as anything negative or hesitant. She only tightened her grip on his hand, wearing a soft smile which melted his heart. “Why not?”

He didn't know how else to answer her. No one could read minds, only his own. For weeks, he tried to figure out the complexity of his troubled mind and heart, like it was an equation that required the greatest minds or love gurus that he knew to solve it. Yet, all it took both to shut up was for Xinyu to tell him those two words. Nothing had followed inside his thoughts, although his heart continued to race. He kept looking at their hands, held together, swaying with the breeze of this one blossoming spring night.

With this realization, Junghoon felt a sensation he hasn't welcomed in a while. Not with someone else. He felt at ease. At ease of being infatuated with someone.

“Well…” He took his time to process things a little longer, but there was no other alternative to this scenario. This was real. “I can't say it's not unexpected, noona…”

“Oh, you know… I just wouldn't want to leave you hanging.”

“Wait… Don't tell me you were actually super shy just seconds ago and now you're being all like this.”

“Shut up,” she giggled in embarrassment, quickly covering her face in their tangled hands, much to his surprise. “I didn't prepare a script for that!”

She still managed to make him laugh, even though she's more determined to be vulnerable to him. With him. No matter how new this experience may be for both of them. It's one thrilling leap she had taken with him.

“I didn't mean to avoid you the whole week… I just… I wanted to think, feel, and be with myself for a while.”

“Oh…” So that's why. “Right.” She had her own decision to make.

She placed her palm on his cheek. “I didn't mean to shut you out, Junghoon-ah…”

Aside from the time he took her home after her drunken mess, he had rarely seen how she's feeling, how she barely expressed her true self. And now that they're “trying this out,” this must be his chance to do better by her. To pay more attention to her beyond the now broken window of their friendship, as it's grown into something much bigger.

“Gwenchana, noona…” He rubbed her temple with his thumb, gently. “I didn't take it that way either. You have every right not to rush anything… I'm happy you took your time.”

= = =

“So,” he broke their silence. “Are you going home now?”

Xinyu squinted her eyes and lowered her head, pouting her lips. “Do you want me to?”

“No, no!” he panicked at her suspicion. “It’s just… You know, it’s late. Your parents and Mr. Yi or any of your other bodyguards might be looking for you around this hour. We’re not even on campus. Wouldn’t they be worried if you haven’t gotten home early?”

Xinyu chortled. “You’re kinda cute when you become so defensive.”

“I’m serious, noona.”

She pecked his cheek, leaving him flustered. “Don’t worry about them… They’ll know I’m just out with friends, because I told them it’s still the festival on our campus. So, because of that…” She caressed his face. “Let’s just stay here for a while, hmm?”

Junghoon smiled at her gesture. “With a sweet voice like that, I can’t really say no.”

“Oh yeah..?” She leaned closer into his face. “What if I use this voice instead?”

Surprised by her advances, he inched away, though he still keeps his hands interlocked with hers. His reaction confuses her at the same moment, with her mouth slightly open.

“Noona!” he panicked for a second time. “I’m sorry, I just… I’m a bit nervous, even though I shouldn't because, you know?”

The surprise on her face quickly turns into a smile. With their hands together, she pulls him in a little closer. Her eyes easily level with his with endearment, and it’s no surprise considering they’re almost the same height.

Xinyu maintained her sweet and sultry tone. “Because what? Mmmm..?”

Junghoon gulps and gives a peck to Xinyu on her left cheek for a moment, like she did to him earlier, before inching a foot away from her. And once again, she's caught off guard.

He looks down in embarrassment at his attempt, but takes another breath to speak out. “I’m a man, and I should take initiative first.”

Xinyu giggles. “Silly… I never knew you had an old-fashioned side in you, Junghoon-ah. Come here…”

There's a little bit of tugging between them. Xinyu held each of his cheeks with her palms, the coldness melting away once they made contact with his warm face. In her gaze facing his, she cooed at his hesitation. Her gentle touch was enough to calm and tell him, Don't be afraid. Trust me. Touch me.

She pulled him closer to her, leaning into his face as she closed her eyes with a smile. Their lips touched for the first time. Junghoon’s eyes widen at her dauntless advances, but the electrifying sensation he’s now feeling only encourages his eyes to close in the process. Feeling each other’s spark through their kiss, he reciprocated Xinyu’s yearning with his own burning passion towards her, as he slowly leaned down for her to hold him. With their hands still holding each other, their lips subconsciously move along to the throbbing beats of their hearts. At that moment, everything around them seems to have frozen except for them, as their shared sensation is warm and sweet.

After a few seconds, their lips part to catch their breaths. Smiles appear on their faces, not wanting to take their eyes off each other.

Such a new experience left him dumbstruck. “Wow…”

“How was it?” She anticipated his answer with a warm smile.

“I think…” he couldn't hold his laughter. “I couldn't think. I may need to assess it again.”

Xinyu chuckled at his remark and gave a peck to his lips. Junghoon stared at her and the two went in for a deeper and longer kiss. With their eyes closed once again, Junghoon puts his arms on her waist while Xinyu wrapped hers around his neck. Yearning for each other without the concept of an end.

But their lips would still part to catch one’s breath, and yet, they still lean into each other and melt into each other's sweet and snuggly embrace.

“Are you sure you're not going home yet?” he asked her again.

She pondered. “I’m not sure I want to yet. Unless we can go somewhere else…”

“Where?”

“Can we like umm… Maybe hang out somewhere else? I was thinking if we can head back to campus, but I doubt it’s still open.”

“I don't think halmeoni is home yet. She usually goes out of town with some of the neighbors during weekends, so…”

After their walk, they ended up taking a fifteen-minute bus trip to Junghoon's residence. The fresh couple hung out in the living room, sitting right next to each other on the red couch while the television played a variety show in the background. They held hands, as they have been doing so for the past half an hour and stared through the windows of each other's souls.

Tonight, they were simply too both irresistible to each other's charms as they can't help but keep hugging with every opportunity they get, echoing their loud, resonating heartbeats. They took turns giving each other a loving peck on the lips or cheek or forehead.

“This feels sweet… I never knew you'd be this sweet,” Xinyu leaned into his shoulder.

He smiled at the sight of her comfort, one he'd never expect to feel. “Neither did I.”

“About me? Or yourself?”

“Both… I guess. I thought you’re more—” he bursts into laughter.

She laughed with him. “Yah, Geum Junghoon! I’m not that aggressive!”

They laughed off her response, yet they exchange looks of genuine curiosity in the moment that follows. A side of her that he rarely saw. Not personally, anyways, but it alarms him.

“Unless…” she leaned closer. “You want me to be. Hmm..?”

Junghoon gulped in an instant, feeling his lips and throat already dry. Yet, instead of him backing away from Xinyu, he took her into his arms once again, much to her surprise.

“Maybe we should take things slow…” he whispered. “If that’s okay with you, noona.”

He kissed her first this time, to her surprise. She fell for his charm nonetheless. It’s a side of him that Xinyu or anyone else has never seen before. Upon opening their eyes once again, she looked at him in disbelief, her eyes sparkling at his sudden advances.

She felt her heart burning, melting during their moment. “Junghoon-ie…”

“Just not too slow,” he clarified.

She hit him in the shoulder and giggled, before pulling him into her lips once again. His thoughts shut off, letting his senses and desire take over for this miraculous moment.

= = =

so, yeah... this part is just an extra yap session, so feel free to skip to the end if you're not interested.

I've made "some" additions I'm not sure I'm happy adding, but I'll just be content with this final version. maybe it's a little rushed cos of the time jump, but I did my best to justify and lengthen the whole falling for each other bit as much as I could. the pairing may come off as a little strange (idk), or at least the lead-up to it is, but maybe that's just how it's meant to be. not everyone will like them together or have to like them.

anyways, I just wanna yap a little about the controversy weeks ago. feel from to skip. It was honestly disappointing, of course, but I'll keep on writing for tripleS. I'm not defending their statement, but I think it's best that you don't look up to idols for their politics. celebrities are also people, and they can have diff opinions or be wrong about things based on their own privilege and upbringings. it's tricky, but we can only hope that things don't get any worse than that and, you know, they can improve and get better in time, just like we should, too, with ourselves. I guess, that's just the optimism in me. they're amazing artists, and they've done a lot of good too.

also, this is an au, take it as it is. it's basically escapism, as much as it's also a heightened reflection of reality. there are deviations from our world, good, bad, and in-between... if you want, we can just assume she never had that stance in this universe, as early as this point. okay, I'll stop right here.

anyways, thank you so much for reading. feedback is appreciated, but I'm just glad some of y'all are reading. I'll do my best on the next fic! maybe before the next chapter (which will most likely be as long as this), I'll do by best to write some shorter ones. have a great day!