#xk.

[notchristie]

I shouldn’t have to change who or how I am for anyone but I know you just wanted me to be better for me and not just for you. Cause at one point you saw potential in me but I never tried and you gave up on me.

[notchristie]

I know it's too late and it really doesn't matter anymore but I'm sorry I couldn't change and be a better person for you. Or for us. I know that's all you wanted from me and I'm sorry I just couldn't do it.

[notchristie]

It's an uncomfortable topic to talk to me about and it makes me feel like I don't really have a say in what you're going through which sucks because I want to help you and I want to be able to say something but I'm afraid I'm gonna say something wrong. I didn't really have anything to say though because really what can/am I supposed to say... My ex boyfriend coming to me about his current girlfriend... It's weird but I still talked to you about it because like I said I wanna be there for you. It was weird because there were periods of long silences but it's not a weird or bad kind of silence. It was like those comfortable silences... Maybe because we're still comfortable around each other idk. But that topic itself isn't something I like talking to you about but I'm not going to tell you I don't wanna help you with it especially because you didn't really have anyone else to talk to about it... And it's like you don't really appreciate the fact that I'll be there for you... I had to end the call because my internet was down and I told you you could call back later and the response you gave me was just like ehh like shoot I know you going through some shit but lol it doesn't mean you can't seem appreciative for what I do for you. Idk.

[notchristie]

I woke up to deal with this and it’s not something I can even help you with. It’s not my problem. And the fact that I actually woke up for you still says a lot. Maybe you should have never done that and you wouldn’t be in this mess. Every time we talk it either ends in an argument or some type of lesson for one another to learn from. It’s getting to the point where it’s like why do we even try…

[notchristie]

Being with you made me realize a lot of things so thank you for that

[notchristie]

When I think about it, idk why I was so worried about not having you in my life because you really only talk to me when you need something. And if it’s not that then it’s you judging me lmaooo.

[notchristie]

When we were together I did anything for you. Like I did stop talking to certain people for you. And now that we aren't together I'm talking to the people you didn't want me to talk to in the first place and now I don't know if it's a bad thing or not for doing so. I feel bad but at the same time we aren't together anymore and I can do whatever... And like I don't wanna go about my life not liking someone if I don't have a reasonable reason... lol idk if this makes sense

[notchristie]

You said at that time you were still in love with me but a couple weeks after, you came and told me she made you happy. How does that even make sense... Or am I misunderstanding. How can you say you're in love with me still but then be with her and say you're happy with her... It doesn't make sense to me. But I'm probably just overthinking and it's nothing. This doesn't even matter anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But why do I keep thinking about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????!!!?!?!?!?! Omg?!?? Eff you?????? Why did you tell me that!!! Why did I want to know so bad!!!!!