Putting this as a ramble post too cuz I edited it today
I think in terms of art, I wanna grow even more obviously but I'm happy with my huge improvement this year... My style looks the best it's ever been and my way of drawing face/eyes and sense for picking colours keeps getting better and better.
I do think I wanna jumpstart a huge art improvement growth journey by trying to make gesture drawing somewhat of a consistent thing for me. Cuz I have no consistency for my gesture drawings. Not right now obviously but I wanna design plushies for my fave ships (XanLena, KuroEne, JuAli, IdaTatsu, LimGuda) one day. I love them all dearly… 🥺🫶
Because I was thinking that I would love to have physical merch of them. I'll make my faves kiss like barbie dolls ✌️💗 I would LOOOVE to dress them up and sit them next to each other... That's a huge dream of mine
I think KuroEne should be on the easier end of my fave ships since their designs are rather simple and less detailed in comparison? I'm not used to drawing chibis, compared to how I usually draw, but I'll do anything for my faves. Don't underestimate me. I'm dedicated.
I also wanna doodle some scenes from my KuroEne AU Route where MaryEne team up against Saeru. This Route has such a fun setup, especially with the way it plays out. Because it's so long, I haven't finished writing for it yet.
So I wanna draw some snippets from it eventually. Ofc I'd love to draw more, but my yapping outpaces my drawing speed, unfortunately. That's why I do rambles/dialogue scripts. So I can remember my ideas and hope to draw them later whenever I get the time
This Route is super long so I haven't gotten the chance to sort all my dialogue scripts for it yet. I take from my Notion docs for my stories. They remind me what I have/haven't posted on my socials
I have some art concepts simmering in my head like KuroEne wearing Viet clothes cuz seeing my faves in traditional clothes makes me <3 And then a ball themed art where Kuroha drapes a black veil over the both of them and Ene wears a dress with a cage dress aesthetic <3
I used to post my notes onto Insta directly (by copying them from my Notion docs) but it takes more time to format. I’ve been busier lately cuz of school, so I just post SS of my Notion docs directly.
Exactly agreed with this. This is how I spend my time drawing so I appreciate OP for putting this into words. For me I usually rotate between my interests but always end up coming back to them eventually since they're always in the back of my mind, even if years down along the line
I find that if I get really invested, then I don't move on from my fave series/characters. They linger in my heart forever and I just rotate between them. This also helps avoids burnout with one interest for me. My followers don't really have to worry about me not drawing [X] character/ship anymore. I will always come back to it eventually.
Tho, just in general, it's natural that peoples' interests just phase in and out, and they may or may not come back to [X] thing. I first got into KagePro when I was 12 so I'm surprised it took me this long to come back to it publically, since I had instances where I'd draw doodles for it but just not post them
I'm MORE shocked that I didn’t talk about my KuroEne obsession until 2024? I was literally NEVER obsessed with a ship like that until them (KuroEne). 12 y/o Sen's first big ship 💗
Cuz I was 12 when I first became obsessed with them, and up until that point, I wasn't insane about a ship like that until them
Me with my faves is basically just my insanity speedrun, especially when I’m mainly obsessed with XanLena, KuroEne, and IdaTatsu solely cuz of my ship AUs & interpretations. Those ships hinge entirely on my AU writing.
But I think it's cuz I knew the KuroEne obsession would come back in full force and that's exactly what happened in April. I predicted it LOL. I'm not really surprised cuz Kuroha/Saeru is EXTREMELY Sen-core in both writing and design, and his character concept and role as the main villain, is so unique. The instigator of the time loop tragedy who’s the embodiment of “Knowledge/Wisdom”
As I said, my top faves are all equally important to me they're just personal and important to me in different ways. So I try to split up the time spent between each interest by rotating through them periodically and drawing for them in random bursts. I always get a feeling of “I miss them and want to draw for them again...”
Like, I've mainly been drawing and writing KuroEne lately cuz they're the easiest of my faves to draw imo (other than XanLena).
I'm very particular about the way I draw Xanxus' eyes and hair (it's generally easy but sometimes I have trouble), but with KuroEne, I don't really have much trouble drawing them at all (their headphones are annoying to draw, along with the belts/straps on Kuroha, but they're generally easier).
So I'd put XanLena and KuroEne at a similar level. Like I don't really have trouble drawing KuroEne's hair and facial features. They're easy to do an initial sketch pass for. For the others, I either draw them good on the first try or they take multiple sketch passes for me to get right
I think it goes like this in terms of difficulty (easiest to most difficult)
KuroEne & XanLena < JuAli & IdaTatsu < LimGuda
And LimGuda's difficulty is because of how detailed Douman's design is
Also cuz Feila chats with me about KuroEne everyday, so the KuroEne AU rambles are just easy to post cuz I can just snatch from my notes, or whatever KuroEne AU works I'm working on.
In general, I snatch from whatever I'm currently drawing/writing about (or recent WIPs, or ones I've recently worked on and revamped)
But I think about all of my faves daily. I've been thinking of wanting to create for my other interests too.
Art is a craft of someone's passion and hard work. People are not entitled to it. I lowkey got sick/annoyed of drawing Ak*Yona cuz I got sentiments from people like "Please draw more ANY 🥺" and cuz it overshadowed the main AU works I focus on. Like... how do you think I'd feel about that.
Every few ~ several months, I get a feeling of wanting to archive my old works, cuz I hate looking at my old art. Some things from 2023 are hard for me to look at, much less anything older than that. I felt a sigh of relief when I archived most of my gallery. I want to fill it with new arts eventually ✌️
My mental health hit its lowest lows at times in the last couple years cuz of my not so great home life, but I think in terms of art, I'm the happiest I've been, rn. If I draw something, I want it to come from my heart as something I wanted to do, not because people wanted me to draw it
I think I talked about how I felt before in my Notion docs, but didn't post it here. To me, I feel like, the more that a ship resembles "traditional romance," the more I'm turned off by it tbh. I'm not looking for highschool sweethearts esque stuff. I like literary romanticism, the opposite of literary realism.
My fave ships are ones that are intense and dangerous, and deadly and passionate. I like ships with a compelling amount of conflict and tension, ones that are complicated, complex, and messy.
My ships are not "traditional romances" and I prefer it that way. Makes it much more interesting to me
Because for me, my only reaction is just, "Oh it's cute Ig." But there's nothing (or hardly anything much) for me to say about it.
ALL of my top fave ships are like this, so I think it really shows in my ship tastes.
Also on a side note. I also get bored by masc charas who are too NORMAL... Fiction is a form of escapism for me, I'm not searching for normal people it's generic and boring to me
That's why my acc is a villain enjoyers zone cuz my faves are all weirdos. They're just more fun /pos /endearing
Though I do make exceptions.
This is exactly how I feel
This fully explains why I'm only obsessed with MLW ships if:
The ship is complicated, messy, chaotic, and funny
At least one of the charas is queer, or can be HC'ed as queer
Like it HAS to have these, in order for me to be obsessed with it. Like if it doesn't have these requirements, then it's only a casual like to me. I’ve never had an exception to this
I HC my faves as LGBT+ by default cuz I'd keel over if any of my faves were straight. I'm allergic to cishet people
The thing is, is that I have very hyperspecific ship tastes, so my ships need a certain level of intensity and danger for me to be obsessed with them. I like when my ships are intense and dangerous
(Either one or both of the charas are dangerous, or their relationship is, in some way)
My big MLW ships are IdaTatsu and KuroEne, like the men in these ships are fruity af
Cishet meow meow mfs are a myth
Kuroha/Saeru can use Awakening Eyes to change his body into whatever he wants. I love my NB genderfluid Kuroha/Saeru HC sm. That's genderfluid swag 💖
Agreed with this post btw like the best MLW romances are written by queer women (bi women and lesbians allergic to heteronormativity)
I noticed that a LOT of my fave ships are Enemies/Rivals to Lovers
Enemies to Lovers: JuAli, LimGuda, KuroEne
KuroEne is my case study ship like it's fascinating to me
I'm studying them like a hamster spinning on a wheel
My mad scientist brain (or maybe Kuroha/Saeru's mad scientist brain?) is going off the rails /lh
Every other fave ship of mine I want them to be happy. My ship AUs are generally fluffy and focused on the ship and their intimate moments and them spending together
This is true for KuroEne too, but for KuroEne, I want their infinite XXX amount of Routes to keep on going forever so I can keep writing their endless possibilities cuz it's so fun to think of
There are some ships where I'm like "I don't think of them in terms of a usual romance/relationship, I just think they're interesting"
And yeah. KuroEne engage in intimacy but their r/s is soooo messy, and that's why makes it fun.
Once my faves are past the initial animosity/hostility, getting to know each other, I could definitely see my other ships in actual romantic relationships.
KuroEne is a different case tho because of Kuroha's role/setup as the instigator of the time loop tragedy constantly killing the cast who retains the knowledge/memories of previous Routes.
So in these XXX amount of Routes, they get reset back to 0 at the end everytime, and then they meet again... And Saeru remembers all these encounters.
Their relationship is filled with conflict and tension, desperation, love, obsession, passion, yearning, desire, attachment.
KuroEne is definitely different from my other ships, cuz, in the context of a ship AU, Kuroha/Saeru loves for his own sake due to his selfish, twisted desires. The emotions are genuine but it lacks pure, genuine love.
I imagine that the KuroEne AU started cuz he wanted to prove his theory that humans will do anything for love.
Irt how the KuroEne AU starts
He first questions humans' desire for love (that he probably mistook as lustful pleasure) then he decided to test his experiments on Ene (due to his vessel). Takane/Ene is more affected by Haruka & Konoha than anyone else. And that's how he comes up with the whole idea of the "game" with her, their trysts. And that's when he approaches her with the proposal to make her a body...
His elaborate scheme done in the most roundabout convoluted way, lol
One that he presents to the other party as being an equal trade, but ultimately benefits himself, mostly.
Though it is true that Kuroha/Saeru grants all of Ene's wishes in their relationship... He caters to her wishes and appeases her personality and whims, takes her out wherever she wants, gives her gifts, and love and affection...
Kuroha gives her everything she wanted (even if it comes at a heavy cost)
That heavy cost being - He kills everyone.
He gives her everything except for what she truly wants (getting to move onto the future with everyone and have a happy life)
And he gets to satisfy his desires for accumulating more knowledge (with getting to build the android body and improve on it)
It's filled with a very ILL affection, cuz he is at his core, ill.
Even Douman can be very genuine/show more tender sides...
When he reveals himself to Ene, the betrayal's gonna sink in. Like, if you spend that much time getting to know someone (I imagine they were basically living together for 1 - 2 years) then the betrayal from him revealing his true intentions is gonna be devastating
I imagine that he genuinely enjoyed his act of playing pretend with his S/O (and to the rest of the MekaDan, if they meet in this Route) and enjoyed the time he spent with them, and that's exactly why he won't give it up.
Like...... He's gonna push back against the idea of Ene proposing moving onto the future with everyone as much as possible for the sake of his own immortality (above all else), and then, on a secondary level, for the sake of the game - the love that's keeping him fulfilled
I see them as the type that will meet and cross paths with each other and meet and engage in intimacy with charged sexual tension
