Wylla would have wagered that Little Lady Ashford’s pug‑eyed weasel of a father had only invited her to spend the rest of the day in the castle, so that he might slither his way into Lyonel Baratheon’s good graces.
His ward.
She sometimes wondered why he still bothered with the lie at all, when, for as long as she could remember, no one had ever seemed to believe it. It was in the way that people looked at her; in their hushed whispers and in the way they talked to her. They knew.
Everyone knew.
So there she was, confined to a sitting room with a girl who was too young and well‑mannered to put an end to something which clearly made her just as miserable as her guests – more miserable, if Wylla had been doing anything right over the course of the past hour. And just because her father probably wouldn’t have a pot to piss in when this tourney was over.
It seemed that every last copper Lord Ashford had to his name he’d put forth to fund the spectacle in honour of his daughter’s nameday – this much Wylla had been able to gather from the bit of polite chatter she had been able to stomach before breaking into her impromptu herbology lesson.
But if he believed that she was the way into her father’s coin bag, he’d be in for a rude awakening.
Four days and four nights. That was all it took for the gods to take the pieces of Wylla Storm's life and rearrange them into something both beautiful and terrifying. Four days and four nights to weave new threads of destiny, which would forever bind her to two strangers - to one in service and to one in love.
That is the first time in four (4!!) years that I have actually written and put sth online, so pls be kind, I'm fragile ^^'
The One With Whiskey Eyes || 31 || Bound, Tethered, Held
Warnings: Mentions of Trauma
Words:
Previous || Next
~31~
Iris regretted not bringing her clothes with her to the bathroom, a recurring mistake she seemed to be making lately, but shivered her way back down the hall anyway as she raced on the balls of her feet—as though that was going to save her from the freezing cement floors. Pulling her clothes on quickly and wrapping her towel around her hair to help it dry, she scooped up her empty mug and padded her way toward the kitchen.
Patricia somehow had the uncanny ability to always know when food needed to be done. Even if she’d heard the shower finish, somehow this woman was able to have two bowls of oatmeal, still steaming hot, sitting in wait when Iris stepped into the kitchen. Patricia turned away from the fridge to smile at her, carrying the bottle of all-natural syrup and a bowl of fresh fruit to include in their oatmeal.
“I know you love cinnamon in yours,” she said in greeting, motioning to the bowl nearer to the door. “Is there anything else you’d like? Or another cup of tea?” Her eyes fell to the empty mug that Iris was still holding.
“Maybe just some water?” Iris requested instead, reaching to relieve her soulmate of their breakfast sides in exchange for the mug.
Taking up her seat with her back to the wall, Iris pulled her feet up to cross her legs and attempt to warm her chilled feet—even with socks on. She was already depositing a few of the berries into her oatmeal when Patricia joined her.
In short order, both were polishing off the last of their breakfast while maintaining slow, easy conversation. Patricia asked her how Hedwig had been the evening before, understanding how unruly he could be. Iris asked for the cooking instructions for a new pasta dish that she’s been wanting to try her hand at making. They discussed the book Iris was reading and Patricia’s favourite pastime.
Neither spoke of the upcoming session with Fletcher.
Iris finished the last few blueberries before the dishes were collected and deposited into the sink to soak for a few minutes. In the meantime, Patricia motioned for Iris to take her now unused seat while she picked up the brush and comb she used on her hair. “Would you like me to braid it back today?”
“Please,” she responded quietly, pulling the towel from her head gently and draping the damp material over the back of her vacated chair. “It’s nice to have it out of the way and I heard it’s supposed to be a windy one today.”
Patricia hummed in approval and pulled her hair back over the chair, so it wasn’t pinned when Iris leaned back, and began carefully brushing the ends. They had already begun to dry while wrapped in the towel. “Is there anything else you needed to do while you have the day off?” she asked softly, focusing on not snagging any knots after Iris’s shower. She smelled like the fruit they had been eating during breakfast, with a hint of something deeper. Likely an oil of some kind, considering how soft her hair currently felt. Felicia’s doing.
“Not that I can think of,” Iris breathed out in response, already enjoying the feeling of her hair being brushed. She was nowhere near her scalp, yet somehow it still made her skin tickle pleasantly. She had to fight to keep her head up. “I’m set for groceries, no appointments or such to worry about…guess it’s more of a free day.”
The brush moved a bit higher up her head, keeping the same slow, gentle pace.
“What about you? Anything you need to finish today? I’d be happy to help.”
“It seems with both have a quiet day on our hands.”
“How rare,” Iris teased with a smile, fighting the urge to lean her head back into her hands. “Anything you want to do while we have the free time?” The question came out timid, unsure. Iris wasn’t accustomed to being the one inviting someone to spend time. It felt like she was putting a limb out with the chance of it getting hurt. However, this was her soulmate. A soulmate who had raced over to her in the dead of night because she felt the panic from a consuming nightmare.
Patricia was silent for a moment, not helping with Iris’s minor anxiety. “Let’s see how the session goes first, hm? It can be more draining that one may think.”
Iris was momentarily surprised that Patricia was the one to first bring up their meeting with Fletcher. “I’ve never really met with a therapist before, aside from the time I first went to meet Dr. Fletcher. It definitely left me feeling…exposed.”
The rhythmic swipe of the brush stalled for a moment as a strong, though gentle, hand stroked slowly down her head. It was one of soothing comfort, and of unspoken understanding. “Some find relief in exposing such parts of themselves to another, to someone outside of our intimate circle, I have always found sessions with Dr. Fletcher exhausting.”
Reaching back, Iris caught Patricia’s wrist of the hand holding the brushed strands of her hair and held on loosely.
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t feel comfortable with it, Patricia. No one’s research should ever come before your comfort.”
Patricia gazed down at Iris’s small hand, slim fingers contrasting sharply with the deep blue sweater she had selected to wear that morning. So very pale and delicate, like the petals of her namesake. It warmed her heart to hear the care and consideration, especially since she knew that Iris had thrown her own comfort to the wind for them already. She had raced through the cold night to get to Barry when she’d heard that he had been suffering.
Leaning down over her, Patricia placed a soft, lingering kiss to the crown of Iris’s soft, freshly brushed hair. Chilled and damp, smelling of fresh fruit. She wanted to bury herself in those strands. Seek comfort in them.
“Your heart is far too pure for this world, little one,” she whispered into the strands. “Thank you for your words. Let us try and see how we feel together.”
Iris’s answer came as a gentle squeeze of her wrist before she pulled her hand back.
Patricia placed the brush aside and took up the come, beginning the quick process of sectioning for the braid. She decided to go with a Dutch today, beginning at the top of Iris’s head to keep her face clear as well. Gently grasping Iris’s skull, she pulled her head back to the angle she needed.
“Have I told you the story of Hedwig stealing some of Barry’s markers and drawing on his face, knowing that Jelin had work the next day?”
Iris gasped in response, a lighter sound that had amusement laced within, and fought not to tip her head back to meet her eyes. “What? Please tell me it washed off?”
“Hmm,” Patricia hummed in taunt, only causing her smaller soulmate to smother a giggle.
Iris clocked the new name—Jelin—but kept it to the back of her mind. She knew what Patricia was doing, bringing levity back to their morning, and allowed herself to fall into the attempt happily. “Oh, no.” She smothered the laugh in her hand was she fought not to picture what her mate’s face must have looked like, drawn on with markers in a comical display. “Is that why he has locks on some of his drawers now?”
“Indeed. You’ll likely find similar locked drawers or cabinets in other rooms, our attempt at keeping his pranks at bay. Not always successfully.” She worked quickly and meticulously down along the braid, making sure the sections were even, and the braid went in a straight line down the back of her head. It needed to be perfect.
The attempt to smother her laugh made Iris snort, then blush brightly from the sound. “A troublemaking little brother.”
“That’s a much kinder description that Jelin provided when he saw his face in the mirror. Thankfully, before he left for work.”
A second snort escaped and Patricia smiled at the sound, typing off the end of the long, caramel braid. She loved the intertwining of chocolate and gold that wound through Iris’s hair; not brunette but not blonde; a beautiful mixture of the two. It looked brighter in sunlight, catching the golden strands and making them pop, but here in the kitchen it took on a much richer tone.
“You have such lovely hair,” she finally commented, stroking her thumb over the free strands at the end so as not to disrupt her work.
“Felicia did tell me it was soft, she kept wanting to pet me like a cat,” Iris laughed softly, remembering how she had basically done exactly that. Not that she was complaining.
“Indeed, it is,” Patricia confirmed. “But I meant the colour. Such a beautiful combination.”
Iris spoke without thinking, the words falling unbidden from her tongue. “My mother used to say it was the colour of dirty dishwater. She used to keep it so short, like a home-cut bob. Then one of my marks showed up at the back of my neck, so she let it grow out, to have a way of hiding it.”
The memory of the abrasive scrubbing on the back of her neck rose to the forefront of her mind. The burn of the water in her nose and throat.
The hitch of Patricia’s breath behind her caused an abrupt sinking feeling to swoop Iris’s stomach. Why had she said that? How had she let something like that slip free? Patricia had some uncanny way of getting her to reveal things her parents had done to her. It had started from the first night they had met—telling her about the scars, showing her the evidence. Perhaps she associated Patricia with a safe place in which to speak those truths.
She was waiting for the obligatory ‘no, that’s wrong. You’re beautiful’ that she imagined people would utter after hearing something like that. It never came.
“Your hair is a mixture of gold, like wheat in the sun in the peak of summer, and the softness of rich, melted chocolate. It makes me think of a dark caramel sauce, smooth and sweet. It is a gorgeous colour, changing in tone depending on the light. You look more blonde in the sunlight, the gold pops more.” Patricia’s hand wrapped around the braid right at the base of Iris’s skull, not too tight but enough that when she tugged, Iris’s head was pulled backward with the steady pressure.
Oh.
The blue of her eyes had an edge to them. A chill. Instinctively, Iris knew it was not directed at her.
Patricia held her gaze for a moment, making sure she had her little soulmate’s full attention. “Never fear telling me these things, these lies your parents fed you. I want to be sure I can tell you how wrong they were. Let me help you clear out their venom.”
The presence of glassy tears in her whiskey eyes had nothing to do with the pressure on her scalp. The gentle pull to the roots of her hair kept her grounded to the moment, maintaining the steady hold of Patricia’s blue gaze.
“I will,” she finally forced out around the tightening of her throat.
Releasing the braid, Patricia framed Iris’s upturned face and leant down to press a soothing kiss to her forehead. Eyes closing, the two basked in the quiet moment for several long seconds. When Patricia felt the touch of warm tears on her hands, she made no comment and simply swiped them away with her thumbs.
Separating from her soulmate, she let Iris relax her head down and take a moment to compose herself.
“I have found it helpful to have something to hold onto when I meet with Dr. Fletcher, saves you from fidgeting with nerves. How about we stop at the shop you and Barry like on the way and collect a warm tea?”
Iris offered a teary smile when she turned to look at her. “That sounds wonderful. Thank you.”
Patricia didn’t put up a fight when Iris insisted on washing the dishes, since she had been the one to cook—simple of as the meal had been. So, she gave her little soulmate a moment to compose herself and went to freshen up and collect their coats.
Hands deep in the hot, soapy water gave Iris a minor distraction as she took a few shaky breaths to calm herself. She felt the disconcerting mix of being held tightly and unmoored all at once. Her hope was that Fletcher didn’t pick up on her loss of balance. Fresh and raw, rehashing the moment and it’s accompanying feelings would be entirely unwelcome.
She took deep, calming breaths while placing each cleaned dish on the drying rack to her right. The mundane task helped a bit, returning her to a basic routine without emotional complications.
Her scalp still tingled with the sensations of the brushing, braiding, and the pull.
Any calm she had obtained was nearly lost as her stomach seemed to twist with the memory of the pull on her braid. So gentle but commanding all the same. The feeling it had invoked shook her to her core. After what had been done to her with a hold on her hair as a means of control, she was shocked her body hadn’t immediately locked up in remembered fear.
Even on a base level, she seemed to know the safety of her soulmates.
How would it feel to have one of the others do the same?
Thankfully, Patricia hadn’t returned to watch as Iris’s face flushed a brilliant red and her jaw momentarily dropped open in shock at her own thoughts.
Pulling the plug on the sink and quickly rinsing everything, she forced herself to keep her focus entirely on the task and let the blood drain back out of her face. Thankfully, she was sure her face had returned to its normal colour when Patricia came back into the kitchen with both of their light spring coats draped over her arm.
The wool coat that Barry had complimented had been retired for the season, tucked safely in her closet.
“All set, dear?”
Far calmer, Iris flashed a smile and nodded. “If you are.” Polite and helpful as ever, Patricia helped her into her jacket—even pulling her braid out of the back—before she pulled on her own.
Author’s note/Warning: break up? Swearing? Reader and Dylan talking about their relationship, a series of voicemail reader sends Dylan at different moments after their relationship ends.
Based off of the song: Lawrence - "The Weather"
Word count: 5129 (wow)
Masterlist
_____________________________________
“Hey D’, it’s me, leaving you a message on your voicemail... again. Listen, I know we agreed to give each other space but I just wanted to let you know that your change of address probs didn’t go through because I got your new script at home- hum, at my place. I’ll just send it to Liz’s office... Oh, also I wanted to know if you wanted me to box up and send you the rest of the stuff you have here, there’s a few sweatshirts and other clothing items, as your mom would say. Okay, so you don’t have to call me back, you can text me, maybe even email me. I can leave your stuff at your mom’s house, I’m seeing Jules on the 23rd, so yeah ... whatever you feel good with. Ok, bye.”
“I won’t talk about the weather
Not with you, we're not together
'Cause even when the sky is grey, I'm feeling blue
And though the winds are always changing
And the clouds are rearranging
A part of me will always be in love with you”
I hung up the phone and placed it in my jeans’ back pocket and turned up the volume from the TV.
“A heatwave this week turned the city of Anaheim, home to Disneyland, into the hottest place in the United States. The Tick fire forced 50,000 people to flee their homes, many in the mid...” The weather man on the tv announced as I picked up the package with Liz’s name on it from a tv or movie set in LA, taking back my cell phone, I texted Liz, Dylan’s manager telling her I’d be sending her the script in the next few days, putting the block of pages on the bench next to the front door, I sat down next to it as the news kept playing as a background noise accompanied by the rain falling down harshly on the large windows.
It had been a little bit over 5 months and I still hadn’t tidy up from his big move, a lot of empty and piled up boxes were on the floor next to the sliding door, there were empty spaces on the wall and people who would be coming in the apartment could easily guess that the large white wall used to be full, filled with baseball jersey’s, many pictures, music record, stickers of liquor brand, some posters and a few music instruments.
“Hi Jules, it’s me, are we still on for the 23rd? Ok great then, I’ll pick you up. You got any news from your brother? Yeah, I know, I asked you to refuse if I asked but I just wanna make sure that with his new place he’s good and away from the fires and that he’s ... that he’s safe y’know? Ok great then, just maybe tell him to- actually you know what? Never mind. I gotta go, but I’ll text you this week... alright bye!”
“There's a fire in LA
Since you moved there back in May
I wonder, should I call to see if you're alright?
Yeah, you're a million miles away
But I still think of you each day
And hope the weather doesn't keep you cold tonight”
After picking up what was on the floor and actually tidying up the apartment, I put on my rain boots with my coat and an umbrella before going out the door with the trash and some things that I wanted to get rid of. I walked the streets of the city, listening to the chaotic sounds, the loud voices and the fast steps of those who wanted to escape the rain. Walking to the Blue Ribbon Brasserie, I turned left to get to Sullivan St and passed the convenience store and got myself a few stamps and envelopes for the thank you notes I still had to write after the home warming gifts I received a while back. I put my earphones in my ear as I gave the cashier the money and put everything in my purse. As I entered the restaurant, I took off my coat and held it tightly against me, my eyes falling on a couple sitting at the bar, both a drink in hand and completely enamored with each other.
“Table for one miss?” The host asks taking a menu.
“Yes, thank you.” I smiled at the young man.
I followed him to a table near the windows. He pulled my chair for me to sit. I smiled at him and thanked him.
“What would you like to start with?”
“Glass of white wine, if you have it. Actually no, I’ll get a G&T, please”
“Right away, ma’am” The waiter’s New Yorker accent came through and I smiled at him as I picked up the menu and swiftly looked through it, already knowing what I wanted to eat as soon as I had left my apartment.
The rain was still pattering against the window and it gave a nice ambient sound to the restaurant that for once was almost empty on a Monday afternoon. A few minutes later, the waiter came back with my drink, putting a squared napkin underneath.
“Would you like to order now, or would you like a few more minutes?”
“I’ll order now, thank you. So, I’ll get the chicken barley soup with the steak, please.”
He smiled, took the menu from my hands and left to another table. I watched the other waiters walk around with platters of food as people started to come in. Usually the restaurant would be busy from opening to the time it closed but today felt different. I held the glass in my hands as I sipped it slowly taking the wedge of lime off of it and biting into it and letting it drop on the piece of paper after draining it of its juice.
As the waiter approached my table and put my soup down my phone’s screen lit up with Dylan’s name and contact photo. I had taken the picture when we were out one day and waiting to cross the street. My finger swiped the screen to answer.
“Ali? Hey, it’s Dylan...” His voice rang through my ear, it was hoarse and dry. He had been smoking.
“Yeah, I know. Your contact info popped up.” I said, silently slurping my soup.
“Oh, wasn’t sure if you had gotten rid of it. Hum, I- I thought it’d be better to call you rather than text you and I don’t even know the last time I sent an email that wasn’t for work.” He chuckled quietly but didn’t hear a sound from the other side. “So, for my stuff you can keep it, I won’t really need it, but if you really wanna get rid of it, I can transfer you the money for the delivery and stuff. It-It’s however you want it.”
“Yeah, no. I’ll send it to you or Liz, I wanna start over with a clean slate. I also found a few caps of yours earlier when I was cleaning up, so I’ll send those over as well.” I said finishing the rest of my soup. It was silent on the other side of the line for a few seconds before I heard him sigh.
“A, maybe we should talk? Y’know, actually have a conversation. The only times we’ve talked in the past few months were through voicemail and-”
“Sounds good Dylan, just right now isn’t the right moment. I’m out at a restaurant and I don’t think I can actually do this right now and in public.” I said dryly my voice full of emotion. A waiter came to pick up the now empty bowl and I smiled up at him.
“Yeah okay. Is everything good up there? Are you feeling good?”
“Yep, I’m fine, we’re all fine.”
“That’s good. I feel a bit far away from everyone, y’know ?!”
“Yeah, are- are you okay? I’ve seen the news on the TV about the fires. I was worried.” I said the last part quietly.
“I’m fine too, yeah, you don’t have to worry. Pretty sure Jules or my mom would have rung you up if something had happened.”
“Yeah probably...” I whispered. “Did you start smoking again? Your voice sounded funny when I answered.” I said catching the eye of the waiter that was bringing me my steak. “Thank you.” “You’re welcome, miss. Hope you’ll enjoy” The small exchange between the waiter and I was soon over, and I picked up a fry.
“Yeah, a little. It was weird being in LA, felt nervous at first and I couldn’t shake it after. Are you at Blue Ribbon?”
“You were nervous? Dyl’ you’ve been to LA a hundred times for filming and shit and yeah I am.” I said, picking at the veggies in my plate.
“I never actually lived there for more than four or five months, and usually I’m not alone.”
“Don’t.” I said loudly, I lifted my head and looked at other costumers. “Listen I gotta go.”
“Alright, I’ll talk to-”
I hung up and went to eat my dinner and finishing my drink quickly. After paying my bill, I put my coat back on, the weather would be a little chillier than earlier. Halloween was approaching and carved in pumpkins were starting to make an appearance on people’s doorstep and balconies. The rain from earlier had stopped and had been replaced by clouds and sun light.
“So, I won't talk about the weather
No, I won't talk about the weather
I won’t talk about the weather
Not with you, we're not together
'Cause even when the sky is grey, I'm feeling blue
And though the winds are always changing
And the clouds are rearranging
A part of me will always be in love with you”
Music was playing loudly in the apartment, the vacuum loud over it and it felt as if the sun had disappeared from the sky. Halloween was even closer now, only 8 days away. I checked the time, 10:37, Jules would be here in just under two hours. There were two boxes full of clothes, pictures, sports’ games tickets and damaged drumsticks, that I will have to leave in Jules’ car at the end of the day. The two of us had planned to get lunch and then hang out. She told me that some of our friends and her were planning a Halloween party and that they insisted that I come “You gotta get out of your hiding place, Alice!” They had screamed at me through the phone almost a month ago. Even if the weather wasn’t really great, Julia insisted we leave her car at my place and walk.
I had gotten ready slowly, music still blasting through the small speaker when it suddenly stopped. Thinking it was Julia texting me she had arrived I jogged to get to my phone in the other room, it was the other O’Brien child.
“Hello?” I answered the phone, putting it on speaker while I walked back to the bathroom to finish brushing my teeth.
“Ali, are you busy? I tried calling you a couple times.” I looked at the screen where I had missed a few phone calls.
“M’getting ready to spend the day with your sister actually. Can you make it quick?” I said spitting in the sink and rinsing my mouth.
“I just wanted to know if right now would be a good time to have that conversation I talked about last week...?” I stopped and looked at my phone and sighed.
“Your sister’s supposed to pick me up in ten minutes, think you can finish in ten minutes?” A silence was heard before light chuckling and I swear I could picture in my mind how he looked in that exact moment. “What?”
“‘Nothing. Look, why don’t we try to set up a date and time for us to talk? I think it’d be good. Maybe clarify things up a bit.”
“Yeah sure.” The doorbell buzzed, I sighed, picked up the phone putting it against my ear and taking it off speaker mode. “Listen Jules here and I’ve- wait a sec” I told him before shooting Julia a one letter text to tell her I was on my way and putting on my shoes and coat. “Ok, so your sister’s here. I gotta go but if you call me back tonight at around 5, your time I should be back home and mentally prepared to have that conversation you want us to have.” I locked my door and ran down the steps to stop in front of the blue car with my friend resting against it, excitedly waving at me, I walked to the car. “So, I really gotta leave now, but don’t think I’m excited about this. I’m doing this for you.”
“I don’t want to make you do this if you’re not ready A’.” He says, guilt overflowing the other emotion in his voice.
“It’s fine, I’ll talk to you tonight.” I hung up and put my head in my hand, scratching my hairline and walking the rest of the distance to Jules.
“So, I won't talk about the weather
No, I won't talk about the weather
I won't talk about the weather
Not with you, we're not together
And it's hard to say if we will ever be
But I'll admit my greatest fear is that
The air will never clear
So I just wish we could talk like you and me”
“Who was that?” Jules asked me as we started walking towards the larger and busier streets.
“Damn you, O’Brien’s.” I mumbled as I pulled her into a greeting side hug.
“Oh my god, was it Dylan? Are y’all talking again?” She was too excited for her own good.
“Not really, I just wanted to know what he wanted me to do with the stuff of his left at the apartment and he started saying how we should talk about what happened.”
“Yeah, I’m not still a hundred percent clear on that, by the way. I don’t think any of us expected you guys to break up after 4 years.”
“Don’t remind me, please” I begged as I opened the door to the small café.
When we entered, I looked around for either an empty table or counter seats. I nudged Jules and pointed to a small table at the very back near the window and looked at her, watching for an answer.
“Sure.” She shrugged and took a newspaper off the stand we were standing next to.
We sat down and she opened the menu, looking through it as a woman brought us glasses of water.
“Hello ladies, how are you today?”
“We’re good, Jane, thanks.” I asked sipping the iced water.
“What about you?” Jules asked putting the cardboard menu down.
“Oh, I am very good thank you” She said a huge grin on her face as she extended her left hand, on it a very beautiful diamond engagement ring.
“You are fucking kidding me! Oh, my fuck!” Jules exclaimed jumping up and down. She and Jane were college friends, I had met her through Jules at a party a few years back.
“Congratulations Jane!” I said leaning in for a hug and sitting back down.
Jane and Jules were standing up and talking in loud whispers as to not fully disturb the other customers. I picked up my cell phone and opened the messages app and clicked on Dylan’s conversation as a reflex before making the screen turn black and setting it back on the table.
“Hey Alice, I haven’t seen much of you in the past two months, but you and Dylan are so invited! Maybe you’ll be in my situation in a few months!” She said cheery, my head snapped up at the mention of my ex-boyfriend and I looked at Jules.
“What? What did I say?” Jane looked back and forth between us.
“Y’know when I told you that my brother went to L.A to film a new project?” Jane nods, “Well it wasn’t fully true, yes he is filming something, but he also moved to L.A” Jane’s eyes go from Jules to me.
“Dyl and I broke up 5 months ago ...” I said picking my phone up again to play with something. Anxiety filling my body and making my fingers shake at the mention of the break-up.
The waitress just sits down next to me and pulls me to her and squeezes me telling me encouraging words before she is called back to the counter.
“The usual?” She asks and Jules and I nod with a smile.
“I think we’ll take it to go, if you don’t mind.” Jules says as she finishes her glass of water, Jane’s eyes go over one last time before going to the kitchen.
When we leave the little café/diner we decide to walk through a park that’s nearby, eating our paninis and drinking our mango and strawberry smoothies.
“Hey,” Jules nudges me. “They added something to your bag...” I look at her a put my hand in the bag. “It’s a muffin?” Jules says unsure. “What?” My word stays stuck in my throat. “Pretty fucking sure Janey didn’t tell Henry that Dylan and I were broken up” “Henry? The cook?” I nod and put the muffin back in the paper bag. “Yeah, hum, when Henry started working there Dyl and I went there to get you a smoothie and Henry was there and he just started hitting on him and like he knew that we were together but I guess it was a running gag between them and whenever I went Henry would put a muffin in the bag for your brother with a note” I laugh remembering the memory. “Once,” I laugh stopping us from walking further. “Dylan went to pick up our order to bring back to his apartment, before we moved in, and he actually gave Henry his number ... Anyway, yeah.”
Jules looks at me and pulls me to her side as I hold the bag tightly. “You miss him, huh?”. I put my head on her shoulder, “you’ve got no fucking idea”
We keep walking and talking, and I can see that she is trying really hard to change my ideas. We go into stores and try on stuff without buying anything, we just spend an afternoon hanging out and it feels so good.
At around seven thirty we part, and we walk back to my apartment, I put the boxes that I left in the lobby in her car and wave her off. Clutching the paper bag, I grab my keys from my coat’s pocket, unlock the main door before going to the building’s mailboxes, gathering my mail and going through the lobby’s door to wave to Sam, the receptionist, before going up the stairs since the elevator hasn’t been fixed in 4 months. As I get onto my floor, I wave at my neighbor who exits his apartment as he looks at my door. I turn the corner and see that my door is opened, fearing the worst I grab a baseball bat sitting near the door that my father forgot last weekend when he came over. I hear soft music coming from the record player sitting in the living room, the smell of ham and cheese stuffed chicken filled the place and for a moment I thought my mother had come to New York ... I entered the kitchen with the bat lowered down knowing who was in my apartment from the humming they made.
“I made dinner” Dylan says turning around and leaning his back on the counter, he pushes himself off of the counter.
“I can see that.” I huff out not looking at him. “What are you doing here?” I ask him, putting my coat on the back of the chair and my purse on the table.
“I- I wanted to talk.” He says taking a step towards me.
“Yeah, I know I was about to call you ... We said we would talk tonight, on the phone” He nods slowly and turns around to put food in two plates. He hands me one and gesture for me to sit.
“I’m not a fan of phones.”
“Yeah I know that, we could’ve facetimed or something.” I pick at my Brussel sprouts, usually loving the way he made them, but seeing here tonight caught me off guard.
I actually look at him for the first time tonight, he hasn’t changed that much, his hair is a little bit longer though, he is hungrily eating the food and nervously keeps his head down.
“What happened?” He suddenly says, his head lifting and eyes connecting with mine. I take in a short breath and can’t look away.
“What?” I shake my head and look down. I stand up and put as much distance between him and I as physically can while still being in the same room.
“What happened between us?”
“I can’t say that I honestly know. We weren’t on the same path; we didn’t want the same things ... I don’t know” I mumble picking and my chewed-up nails, a habit I had taken up from him.
“Ok so why didn’t work, it’s not distance because god knows we’ve done that before, none of us were unfaithful” I grimace at the thought of him with another woman and look at him, he notices, and pain quickly passes behind his hazel eyes. “I- I don’t think, hope not, we’ve fallen out of love... So, what happened Al’?”
“I don’t know, I don’t know what you’re expecting me to say right now, showing up at my apartment at fucking 8 ...” I say my voice low and full of emotions.
“We agreed to talk” He says standing up and talking another step closer.
“I agreed to talk to you on the phone because even if it’s been five months, I can’t look at you right now!” I say looking at the shirt he’s wearing
“Did you send my stuff yet?” He asks changing the subject and taking another step, now only at an arm’s length from me.
“I actually gave the boxes to Jules earlier. Left em’ in the lobby and gave them to her when she left.” He nods silently, turns around before starting to put away the food, knowing we probably would not be eating tonight. The domestic choreography started as we moved around each other with ease and habit, but I still tried to keep a distance between us. Without having to consult each other I bent down to a cupboard to grab a few Tupperware’s and set them on the counter as he passed me the now empty pots and pans ready to be rinsed off. While we were quietly washing the dishes, the music in the back changed, but still fit the ambiance perfectly. He walked to the furthest and lowest cupboard where the large serving plates used to be and opened it to now find the spices.
“You changed the plates?” He asks over his shoulder.
“Hum, yeah didn’t have much of a choice, I couldn’t reach the spices from where they were, and I don’t use the serving plates all that much.” I shrug as he picks up the utensils and dries them off. He walks around me to the drawer where they’ve always been and opens it slowly, his hand supporting underneath.
“Oh no, I got fixed, it’s fine”
“Oh okay... Did your dad came all the way from Oregon or did hum...?” He asks and I smile at what he’s really asking me.
“No, I actually asked Pat to come over a month ago, he repaired a few things here and there” I smile warmly at him and his expression that went from sad to relieved.
“You- you called my dad?” He asks as he turns around to look at me and rests against the counter.
“I mean, yeah, is that okay?” I ask him, giving him a pot to dry off.
“Of course, yeah, no- no worries, heh.” He chuckles. “I’m just happy you guys stayed in contact. They adore you, y’know, my parents. Almost like a second daughter.”
“Well that’s just wrong” I mumble quickly my eyes large, falling back into the familiarity that is Dylan.
“What why?” He asks
“That would make us “brother and sister”” I finish washing the last dish and hand it to him.
“Oh yeah, so wrong. So, fucking wrong” He says under his breath and I laugh a little as I help him put away the plates. I open a cupboard and look up to see that it is far beyond my reach and I make a noise that attracts his attention. “Oh wait, I’ll get it” He says before taking large strides towards me. I quickly move to the side and put the plate on the counter so that he can pick it up.
We finish putting everything away in silence and I go sit on the couch as he washes his hands. A few seconds later he joins me and sit on the other side of the couch. Tears pool at my eyes and I sniffle, I can feel his eyes on me, I hear him shift on the couch, so his front was towards me.
“No, I won't talk about the weather
Not with you, we're not together
But I wonder if we're ever really through
'Cause if we're talking about whether
You and I shouldn't be together
Oh, I know I'll always be in love with you
Oh yes, I know I'll always be in love with you”
“It hurts so much” I whimper as I wipe away a tear that’s fallen on my cheek. “I don’t know what fucking happened. We didn’t get to talk, we-“
I freeze when I feel him starting to get closer to wipe away more tears that are now falling down my neck. I nuzzle my head into his large hand.
“I’m so sorry, for everything” He says his face in my hair.
“Don’t. It is not your fault. No, the situation was not ideal you having to leave for filming after the initial event, but it is not your fault. I think we just thought we were untouchable.” I say never facing him, my eyes fixed on the stickers stuck on the wooden table.
“But still, if I hadn’t talked about me moving back to L.A we could’ve talked and work things out.”
“Stop it.” I lick my lips attracting his eyes to the area as I turn to really look at him for the first time in months. “Dylan, it is not your fault, we had a weakness, we miscommunicated something got lost in what we told each other. I feel like I might’ve thought I was ready to leave the city to go to L.A but I wasn’t and maybe-“
“Say it again.” He suddenly says, cutting me off in my version of the events.
“What? Say what?”
“Say my name again, please.” His ton is full of hope and desperate at the same time.
I lock eyes with him and chuckle.
“Dylan” I enunciate each syllable.
“God. I missed you” He says, tears filling his eyes.
He grabs me by my waist and pulls me on his lap.
His face nuzzles itself in my neck and I feel a single tear rolling down my neck followed by a few soft kisses.
“I just got used to you not being there and knowing you wouldn’t come back. I didn’t like that.” I mumble against his temple.
“Don’t say that. You know I’ll always come back to you.” He takes my hand in his and kiss the silver band around my pointer finger.
We part and I just stare at him, his eyes fall on me with the softest look I have ever seen.
“You almost didn't come back once” I say softly thinking back on probably the hardest year of my life. My finger tracing the soft and ragged scar on his forehead and nose area, his eyes close at the sensation of my finger going around his face.
“I know. But baby I swear to you, you are stuck with me until the day I die, even then.”
“Yeah okay, I’d be cool with that. But I want to take things slow. You have to go back to L.A for a few months.”
“As soon as I’m finished over there I’m coming home.” He smiles at me and I stand up quickly from his lap and walk over where I put my stuff when I came in.
“Oh my god I forgot.” I say quickly grabbing the object and walking back to him and plopping myself hard on his lap.
“What’s that?” He looks at me with a smile.
“It’s an impromptu welcome home gift, it might have gone stale a little though.” I give it to him and pull his face to kiss his moles that I missed oh so badly.
He opens the brown bag and puts his hand in and gets out a blueberry muffin.
“Oh Henry! My man” He says as he splits it in two and share half with me.
___________________________________
The morning after, I wake up at 9:45 in my bed, alone. I squeeze my eyes shut, not believing that I actually dreamt this whole thing. I check my phone to see if I have any messages and only one from Julia saying that she would be at my place around 11.As I text her to bring the boxes back I hear my bedroom door open and a smile stretches on my lips as I turn around to see Dylan walking in with freshly made hot cocoa and buttered toast.
“Oh, you’re too good to me, O’Brien” I smile and lean against him as he sits on the bed.
“What makes you think that’s yours? You’ve got the good homemade bread and I fucking missed it” He says taking a bite.
Seeing him bite into the grilled piece of bread I only think of his lips.
“Dylan?” I say grabbing his face in my hand.
“Hmm?” He swallows his piece of toast. “What’s up.”
“You haven’t kissed me yet. I didn’t get to kiss you welcome back. Please, do it” I say in the most desperate tone I’ve ever heard myself talk.
“Anything for you my love” He leans in and kiss me.
Reposting all my writings from @r0s3mm, my main blog, it is not stolen or plagiarized. All my works on my masterlist are main unless stated otherwise.
Hello! Welcome to 2-h, the back up account of @r0s3mm, I’ll be posting my works on here too until (hopefully) my blog gets restored and if not this will become my main blog.
Pairing: Dylan O’Brien x ofc!Alice
Word Count: 5129
Author’s note/warnings: break up? Swearing? Reader and Dylan talking about their relationship, a series of voicemail reader sends Dylan at different moments after their relationship ends.
Based off of the song: Lawrence - “The Weather”
Come say “Hi!” Wattpad
Masterlist
***********************
“Hey D’, it’s me, leaving you a message on your voicemail… again. Listen, I know we agreed to give each other space but I just wanted to let you know that your change of address probs didn’t go through because I got your new script at home- hum, at my place. I’ll just send it to Liz’s office… Oh, also I wanted to know if you wanted me to box up and send you the rest of the stuff you have here, there’s a few sweatshirts and other clothing items, as your mom would say. Okay, so you don’t have to call me back, you can text me, maybe even email me. I can leave your stuff at your mom’s house, I’m seeing Jules on the 23rd, so yeah … whatever you feel good with. Ok, bye.”
“I won’t talk about the weather
Not with you, we’re not together
‘Cause even when the sky is grey, I’m feeling blue
And though the winds are always changing
And the clouds are rearranging
A part of me will always be in love with you”
I hung up the phone and placed it in my jeans’ back pocket and turned up the volume from the TV.
“A heatwave this week turned the city of Anaheim, home to Disneyland, into the hottest place in theUnited States. The Tick fire forced 50,000 people to flee their homes, many in the mid…” The weather man on the tv announced as I picked up the package with Liz’s name on it from a tv or movie set in LA, taking back my cell phone, I texted Liz, Dylan’s manager telling her I’d be sending her the script in the next few days, putting the block of pages on the bench next to the front door, I sat down next to it as the news kept playing as a background noise accompanied by the rain falling down harshly on the large windows.
It had been a little bit over 5 months and I still hadn’t tidy up from his big move, a lot of empty and piled up boxes were on the floor next to the sliding door, there were empty spaces on the wall and people who would be coming in the apartment could easily guess that the large white wall used to be full, filled with baseball jersey’s, many pictures, music record, stickers of liquor brand, some posters and a few music instruments.
“Hi Jules, it’s me, are we still on for the 23rd? Ok great then, I’ll pick you up. You got any news from your brother? Yeah, I know, I asked you to refuse if I asked but I just wanna make sure that with his new place he’s good and away from the fires and that he’s … that he’s safe y’know? Ok great then, just maybe tell him to- actually you know what? Never mind. I gotta go, but I’ll text you this week… alright bye!”
“There’s a fire in LA
Since you moved there back in May
I wonder, should I call to see if you’re alright?
Yeah, you’re a million miles away
But I still think of you each day
And hope the weather doesn’t keep you cold tonight”
After picking up what was on the floor and actually tidying up the apartment, I put on my rain boots with my coat and an umbrella before going out the door with the trash and some things that I wanted to get rid of. I walked the streets of the city, listening to the chaotic sounds, the loud voices and the fast steps of those who wanted to escape the rain. Walking to the Blue Ribbon Brasserie, I turned left to get to Sullivan St and passed the convenience store and got myself a few stamps and envelopes for the thank you notes I still had to write after the home warming gifts I received a while back. I put my earphones in my ear as I gave the cashier the money and put everything in my purse. As I entered the restaurant, I took off my coat and held it tightly against me, my eyes falling on a couple sitting at the bar, both a drink in hand and completely enamored with each other.
“Table for one miss?” The host asks taking a menu.
“Yes, thank you.” I smiled at the young man.
I followed him to a table near the windows. He pulled my chair for me to sit. I smiled at him and thanked him.
“What would you like to start with?”
“Glass of white wine, if you have it. Actually no, I’ll get a G&T, please”
“Right away, ma’am” The waiter’s New Yorker accent came through and I smiled at him as I picked up the menu and swiftly looked through it, already knowing what I wanted to eat as soon as I had left my apartment.
The rain was still pattering against the window and it gave a nice ambient sound to the restaurant that for once was almost empty on a Monday afternoon. A few minutes later, the waiter came back with my drink, putting a squared napkin underneath.
“Would you like to order now, or would you like a few more minutes?”
“I’ll order now, thank you. So, I’ll get the chicken barley soup with the steak, please.”
He smiled, took the menu from my hands and left to another table. I watched the other waiters walk around with platters of food as people started to come in. Usually the restaurant would be busy from opening to the time it closed but today felt different. I held the glass in my hands as I sipped it slowly taking the wedge of lime off of it and biting into it and letting it drop on the piece of paper after draining it of its juice.
As the waiter approached my table and put my soup down my phone’s screen lit up with Dylan’s name and contact photo. I had taken the picture when we were out one day and waiting to cross the street. My finger swiped the screen to answer.
“Ali? Hey, it’s Dylan…” His voice rang through my ear, it was hoarse and dry. He had been smoking.
“Yeah, I know. Your contact info popped up.” I said, silently slurping my soup.
“Oh, wasn’t sure if you had gotten rid of it. Hum, I- I thought it’d be better to call you rather than text you and I don’t even know the last time I sent an email that wasn’t for work.” He chuckled quietly but didn’t hear a sound from the other side. “So, for my stuff you can keep it, I won’t really need it, but if you really wanna get rid of it, I can transfer you the money for the delivery and stuff. It-It’s however you want it.”
“Yeah, no. I’ll send it to you or Liz, I wanna start over with a clean slate. I also found a few caps of yours earlier when I was cleaning up, so I’ll send those over as well.” I said finishing the rest of my soup. It was silent on the other side of the line for a few seconds before I heard him sigh.
“A, maybe we should talk? Y’know, actually have a conversation. The only times we’ve talked in the past few months were through voicemail and-”
“Sounds good Dylan, just right now isn’t the right moment. I’m out at a restaurant and I don’t think I can actually do this right now and in public.” I said dryly my voice full of emotion. A waiter came to pick up the now empty bowl and I smiled up at him.
“Yeah okay. Is everything good up there? Are you feeling good?”
“Yep, I’m fine, we’re all fine.”
“That’s good. I feel a bit far away from everyone, y’know ?!”
“Yeah, are- are you okay? I’ve seen the news on the TV about the fires. I was worried.” I said the last part quietly.
“I’m fine too, yeah, you don’t have to worry. Pretty sure Jules or my mom would have rung you up if something had happened.”
“Yeah probably…” I whispered. “Did you start smoking again? Your voice sounded funny when I answered.” I said catching the eye of the waiter that was bringing me my steak. “Thank you.” “You’re welcome, miss. Hope you’ll enjoy” The small exchange between the waiter and I was soon over, and I picked up a fry.
“Yeah, a little. It was weird being in LA, felt nervous at first and I couldn’t shake it after. Are you at Blue Ribbon?”
“You were nervous? Dyl’ you’ve been to LA a hundred times for filming and shit and yeah I am.” I said, picking at the veggies in my plate.
“I never actually lived there for more than four or five months, and usually I’m not alone.”
“Don’t.” I said loudly, I lifted my head and looked at other costumers. “Listen I gotta go.”
“Alright, I’ll talk to-”
I hung up and went to eat my dinner and finishing my drink quickly. After paying my bill, I put my coat back on, the weather would be a little chillier than earlier. Halloween was approaching and carved in pumpkins were starting to make an appearance on people’s doorstep and balconies. The rain from earlier had stopped and had been replaced by clouds and sun light.
“So, I won’t talk about the weather
No, I won’t talk about the weather
I won’t talk about the weather
Not with you, we’re not together
'Cause even when the sky is grey, I’m feeling blue
And though the winds are always changing
And the clouds are rearranging
A part of me will always be in love with you”
Music was playing loudly in the apartment, the vacuum loud over it and it felt as if the sun had disappeared from the sky. Halloween was even closer now, only 8 days away. I checked the time, 10:37, Jules would be here in just under two hours. There were two boxes full of clothes, pictures, sports’ games tickets and damaged drumsticks, that I will have to leave in Jules’ car at the end of the day. The two of us had planned to get lunch and then hang out. She told me that some of our friends and her were planning a Halloween party and that they insisted that I come “You gotta get out of your hiding place, Alice!” They had screamed at me through the phone almost a month ago. Even if the weather wasn’t really great, Julia insisted we leave her car at my place and walk.
I had gotten ready slowly, music still blasting through the small speaker when it suddenly stopped. Thinking it was Julia texting me she had arrived I jogged to get to my phone in the other room, it was the other O’Brien child.
“Hello?” I answered the phone, putting it on speaker while I walked back to the bathroom to finish brushing my teeth.
“Ali, are you busy? I tried calling you a couple times.” I looked at the screen where I had missed a few phone calls.
“M’getting ready to spend the day with your sister actually. Can you make it quick?” I said spitting in the sink and rinsing my mouth.
“I just wanted to know if right now would be a good time to have that conversation I talked about last week…?” I stopped and looked at my phone and sighed.
“Your sister’s supposed to pick me up in ten minutes, think you can finish in ten minutes?” A silence was heard before light chuckling and I swear I could picture in my mind how he looked in that exact moment. “What?”
“‘Nothing. Look, why don’t we try to set up a date and time for us to talk? I think it’d be good. Maybe clarify things up a bit.”
“Yeah sure.” The doorbell buzzed, I sighed, picked up the phone putting it against my ear and taking it off speaker mode. “Listen Jules here and I’ve- wait a sec” I told him before shooting Julia a one letter text to tell her I was on my way and putting on my shoes and coat. “Ok, so your sister’s here. I gotta go but if you call me back tonight at around 5, your time I should be back home and mentally prepared to have that conversation you want us to have.” I locked my door and ran down the steps to stop in front of the blue car with my friend resting against it, excitedly waving at me, I walked to the car. “So, I really gotta leave now, but don’t think I’m excited about this. I’m doing this for you.”
“I don’t want to make you do this if you’re not ready A’.” He says, guilt overflowing the other emotion in his voice.
“It’s fine, I’ll talk to you tonight.” I hung up and put my head in my hand, scratching my hairline and walking the rest of the distance to Jules.
“So, I won’t talk about the weather
No, I won’t talk about the weather
I won’t talk about the weather
Not with you, we’re not together
And it’s hard to say if we will ever be
But I’ll admit my greatest fear is that
The air will never clear
So I just wish we could talk like you and me”
“Who was that?” Jules asked me as we started walking towards the larger and busier streets.
“Damn you, O’Brien’s.” I mumbled as I pulled her into a greeting side hug.
“Oh my god, was it Dylan? Are y’all talking again?” She was too excited for her own good.
“Not really, I just wanted to know what he wanted me to do with the stuff of his left at the apartment and he started saying how we should talk about what happened.”
“Yeah, I’m not still a hundred percent clear on that, by the way. I don’t think any of us expected you guys to break up after 4 years.”
“Don’t remind me, please” I begged as I opened the door to the small café.
When we entered, I looked around for either an empty table or counter seats. I nudged Jules and pointed to a small table at the very back near the window and looked at her, watching for an answer.
“Sure.” She shrugged and took a newspaper off the stand we were standing next to.
We sat down and she opened the menu, looking through it as a woman brought us glasses of water.
“Hello ladies, how are you today?”
“We’re good, Jane, thanks.” I asked sipping the iced water.
“What about you?” Jules asked putting the cardboard menu down.
“Oh, I am very good thank you” She said a huge grin on her face as she extended her left hand, on it a very beautiful diamond engagement ring.
“You are fucking kidding me! Oh, my fuck!” Jules exclaimed jumping up and down. She and Jane were college friends, I had met her through Jules at a party a few years back.
“Congratulations Jane!” I said leaning in for a hug and sitting back down.
Jane and Jules were standing up and talking in loud whispers as to not fully disturb the other customers. I picked up my cell phone and opened the messages app and clicked on Dylan’s conversation as a reflex before making the screen turn black and setting it back on the table.
“Hey Alice, I haven’t seen much of you in the past two months, but you and Dylan are so invited! Maybe you’ll be in my situation in a few months!” She said cheery, my head snapped up at the mention of my ex-boyfriend and I looked at Jules.
“What? What did I say?” Jane looked back and forth between us.
“Y’know when I told you that my brother went to L.A to film a new project?” Jane nods, “Well it wasn’t fully true, yes he is filming something, but he also moved to L.A” Jane’s eyes go from Jules to me.
“Dyl and I broke up 5 months ago …” I said picking my phone up again to play with something. Anxiety filling my body and making my fingers shake at the mention of the break-up.
The waitress just sits down next to me and pulls me to her and squeezes me telling me encouraging words before she is called back to the counter.
“The usual?” She asks and Jules and I nod with a smile.
“I think we’ll take it to go, if you don’t mind.” Jules says as she finishes her glass of water, Jane’s eyes go over one last time before going to the kitchen.
When we leave the little café/diner we decide to walk through a park that’s nearby, eating our paninis and drinking our mango and strawberry smoothies.
“Hey,” Jules nudges me. “They added something to your bag…” I look at her a put my hand in the bag. “It’s a muffin?” Jules says unsure. “What?” My word stays stuck in my throat. “Pretty fucking sure Janey didn’t tell Henry that Dylan and I were broken up” “Henry? The cook?” I nod and put the muffin back in the paper bag. “Yeah, hum, when Henry started working there Dyl and I went there to get you a smoothie and Henry was there and he just started hitting on him and like he knew that we were together but I guess it was a running gag between them and whenever I went Henry would put a muffin in the bag for your brother with a note” I laugh remembering the memory. “Once,” I laugh stopping us from walking further. “Dylan went to pick up our order to bring back to his apartment, before we moved in, and he actually gave Henry his number … Anyway, yeah.”
Jules looks at me and pulls me to her side as I hold the bag tightly. “You miss him, huh?”. I put my head on her shoulder, “you’ve got no fucking idea”
We keep walking and talking, and I can see that she is trying really hard to change my ideas. We go into stores and try on stuff without buying anything, we just spend an afternoon hanging out and it feels so good.
At around seven thirty we part, and we walk back to my apartment, I put the boxes that I left in the lobby in her car and wave her off. Clutching the paper bag, I grab my keys from my coat’s pocket, unlock the main door before going to the building’s mailboxes, gathering my mail and going through the lobby’s door to wave to Sam, the receptionist, before going up the stairs since the elevator hasn’t been fixed in 4 months. As I get onto my floor, I wave at my neighbor who exits his apartment as he looks at my door. I turn the corner and see that my door is opened, fearing the worst I grab a baseball bat sitting near the door that my father forgot last weekend when he came over. I hear soft music coming from the record player sitting in the living room, the smell of ham and cheese stuffed chicken filled the place and for a moment I thought my mother had come to New York … I entered the kitchen with the bat lowered down knowing who was in my apartment from the humming they made.
“I made dinner” Dylan says turning around and leaning his back on the counter, he pushes himself off of the counter.
“I can see that.” I huff out not looking at him. “What are you doing here?” I ask him, putting my coat on the back of the chair and my purse on the table.
“I- I wanted to talk.” He says taking a step towards me.
“Yeah, I know I was about to call you … We said we would talk tonight, on the phone” He nods slowly and turns around to put food in two plates. He hands me one and gesture for me to sit.
“I’m not a fan of phones.”
“Yeah I know that, we could’ve facetimed or something.” I pick at my Brussel sprouts, usually loving the way he made them, but seeing here tonight caught me off guard.
I actually look at him for the first time tonight, he hasn’t changed that much, his hair is a little bit longer though, he is hungrily eating the food and nervously keeps his head down.
“What happened?” He suddenly says, his head lifting and eyes connecting with mine. I take in a short breath and can’t look away.
“What?” I shake my head and look down. I stand up and put as much distance between him and I as physically can while still being in the same room.
“What happened between us?”
“I can’t say that I honestly know. We weren’t on the same path; we didn’t want the same things … I don’t know” I mumble picking and my chewed-up nails, a habit I had taken up from him.
“Ok so why didn’t work, it’s not distance because god knows we’ve done that before, none of us were unfaithful” I grimace at the thought of him with another woman and look at him, he notices, and pain quickly passes behind his hazel eyes. “I- I don’t think, hope not, we’ve fallen out of love… So, what happened Al’?”
“I don’t know, I don’t know what you’re expecting me to say right now, showing up at my apartment at fucking 8 …” I say my voice low and full of emotions.
“We agreed to talk” He says standing up and talking another step closer.
“I agreed to talk to you on the phone because even if it’s been five months, I can’t look at you right now!” I say looking at the shirt he’s wearing
“Did you send my stuff yet?” He asks changing the subject and taking another step, now only at an arm’s length from me.
“I actually gave the boxes to Jules earlier. Left em’ in the lobby and gave them to her when she left.” He nods silently, turns around before starting to put away the food, knowing we probably would not be eating tonight. The domestic choreography started as we moved around each other with ease and habit, but I still tried to keep a distance between us. Without having to consult each other I bent down to a cupboard to grab a few Tupperware’s and set them on the counter as he passed me the now empty pots and pans ready to be rinsed off. While we were quietly washing the dishes, the music in the back changed, but still fit the ambiance perfectly. He walked to the furthest and lowest cupboard where the large serving plates used to be and opened it to now find the spices.
“You changed the plates?” He asks over his shoulder.
“Hum, yeah didn’t have much of a choice, I couldn’t reach the spices from where they were, and I don’t use the serving plates all that much.” I shrug as he picks up the utensils and dries them off. He walks around me to the drawer where they’ve always been and opens it slowly, his hand supporting underneath.
“Oh no, I got fixed, it’s fine”
“Oh okay… Did your dad came all the way from Oregon or did hum…?” He asks and I smile at what he’s really asking me.
“No, I actually asked Pat to come over a month ago, he repaired a few things here and there” I smile warmly at him and his expression that went from sad to relieved.
“You- you called my dad?” He asks as he turns around to look at me and rests against the counter.
“I mean, yeah, is that okay?” I ask him, giving him a pot to dry off.
“Of course, yeah, no- no worries, heh.” He chuckles. “I’m just happy you guys stayed in contact. They adore you, y’know, my parents. Almost like a second daughter.”
“Well that’s just wrong” I mumble quickly my eyes large, falling back into the familiarity that is Dylan.
“What why?” He asks
“That would make us “brother and sister”” I finish washing the last dish and hand it to him.
“Oh yeah, so wrong. So, fucking wrong” He says under his breath and I laugh a little as I help him put away the plates. I open a cupboard and look up to see that it is far beyond my reach and I make a noise that attracts his attention. “Oh wait, I’ll get it” He says before taking large strides towards me. I quickly move to the side and put the plate on the counter so that he can pick it up.
We finish putting everything away in silence and I go sit on the couch as he washes his hands. A few seconds later he joins me and sit on the other side of the couch. Tears pool at my eyes and I sniffle, I can feel his eyes on me, I hear him shift on the couch, so his front was towards me.
“No, I won’t talk about the weather
Not with you, we’re not together
But I wonder if we’re ever really through
'Cause if we’re talking about whether
You and I shouldn’t be together
Oh, I know I’ll always be in love with you
Oh yes, I know I’ll always be in love with you”
“It hurts so much” I whimper as I wipe away a tear that’s fallen on my cheek. “I don’t know what fucking happened. We didn’t get to talk, we-“
I freeze when I feel him starting to get closer to wipe away more tears that are now falling down my neck. I nuzzle my head into his large hand.
“I’m so sorry, for everything” He says his face in my hair.
“Don’t. It is not your fault. No, the situation was not ideal you having to leave for filming after the initial event, but it is not your fault. I think we just thought we were untouchable.” I say never facing him, my eyes fixed on the stickers stuck on the wooden table.
“But still, if I hadn’t talked about me moving back to L.A we could’ve talked and work things out.”
“Stop it.” I lick my lips attracting his eyes to the area as I turn to really look at him for the first time in months. “Dylan, it is not your fault, we had a weakness, we miscommunicated something got lost in what we told each other. I feel like I might’ve thought I was ready to leave the city to go to L.A but I wasn’t and maybe-“
“Say it again.” He suddenly says, cutting me off in my version of the events.
“What? Say what?”
“Say my name again, please.” His ton is full of hope and desperate at the same time.
I lock eyes with him and chuckle.
“Dylan” I enunciate each syllable.
“God. I missed you” He says, tears filling his eyes.
He grabs me by my waist and pulls me on his lap.
His face nuzzles itself in my neck and I feel a single tear rolling down my neck followed by a few soft kisses.
“I just got used to you not being there and knowing you wouldn’t come back. I didn’t like that.” I mumble against his temple.
“Don’t say that. You know I’ll always come back to you.” He takes my hand in his and kiss the silver band around my pointer finger.
We part and I just stare at him, his eyes fall on me with the softest look I have ever seen.
“You almost didn’t come back once” I say softly thinking back on probably the hardest year of my life. My finger tracing the soft and ragged scar on his forehead and nose area, his eyes close at the sensation of my finger going around his face.
“I know. But baby I swear to you, you are stuck with me until the day I die, even then.”
“Yeah okay, I’d be cool with that. But I want to take things slow. You have to go back to L.A for a few months.”
“As soon as I’m finished over there I’m coming home.” He smiles at me and I stand up quickly from his lap and walk over where I put my stuff when I came in.
“Oh my god I forgot.” I say quickly grabbing the object and walking back to him and plopping myself hard on his lap.
“What’s that?” He looks at me with a smile.
“It’s an impromptu welcome home gift, it might have gone stale a little though.” I give it to him and pull his face to kiss his moles that I missed oh so badly.
He opens the brown bag and puts his hand in and gets out a blueberry muffin.
“Oh Henry! My man” He says as he splits it in two and share half with me.
___________________________________
The morning after, I wake up at 9:45 in my bed, alone. I squeeze my eyes shut, not believing that I actually dreamt this whole thing. I check my phone to see if I have any messages and only one from Julia saying that she would be at my place around 11. As I text her to bring the boxes back I hear my bedroom door open and a smile stretches on my lips as I turn around to see Dylan walking in with freshly made hot cocoa and buttered toast.
“Oh, you’re too good to me, O’Brien” I smile and lean against him as he sits on the bed.
“What makes you think that’s yours? You’ve got the good homemade bread and I fucking missed it” He says taking a bite.
Seeing him bite into the grilled piece of bread I only think of his lips.
“Dylan?” I say grabbing his face in my hand.
“Hmm?” He swallows his piece of toast. “What’s up.”
“You haven’t kissed me yet. I didn’t get to kiss you welcome back. Please, do it” I say in the most desperate tone I’ve ever heard myself talk.
“Anything for you my love” He leans in and kiss me.
