#xyurark

[rkmason]

♫

Love Letter by INFINITE 

Oh baby, it can’t be over like thisI couldn’t tell you my trembling heart So I wrote my heart in a letter So I can tell you how I feel Because my heart that only thinks about you Cannot be stopped, I wanna know 

“Why do you keep locking yourself in the room?” 

“Stop jacking off in there to your girlfriend.” 

“Sure you wanna say that when you’ve got that little set-up on your nightstand.” 

“Man, shut up!” Rome does his best to ignore Dumb and Dumber quarreling outside the bedroom as he finishes up writing one of the only letters he’s written to a woman other than his mother. What choice did he have? He didn’t know if her number was the same in the US and this was the compromise he worked out with her cousin. One letter and if she wants to talk to you, then I guess you can. Generous woman, that cousin of hers is. 

All his hopes are resting on this. Here goes nothing. He manages to ignore them as he leaves their apartment and makes his way to the cafe at the arranged time for the hand-off. It feels awkward, uncomfortable to hand someone else his true feelings, placing them in someone’s hands that he doesn’t know but he’s done the same for her once. She owes it to him. 

— 

You trying to pull a real little mermaid there and disappear? You’re harder to catch than sea foam.Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving? Damn, can’t believe you almost break a man’s skateboard and run away like this. Swim back across the ocean and take responsibility, won’t ya? Part of me means it. Come back. You don’t have to swim. I think I like you. I want to teach you how to ride a skateboard properly without breaking anything. Not the deck or your hips. They’re too nice for that. I gotta teach you to throw a better three-pointer too. There’s still so much I want to do with you. We’ll see each other again one day, yeah? We have to. 

— 

He took it back and he was called out for it but he had his reasons. This isn’t it. He can’t let this be it and he rewrites his letter on the flight to LA. 

I think we should be together. 

[rkmason]

the little mermaid:

(/it’s a little ridiculous that even now, after months of being out of seoul, her heart still beats a little faster as the phone rings, body perks at the sound of his voice even if it’s his voicemail. by now she’s an expert on the korean timezone, on knowing the perfect times to call so that they don’t pick up. she waits for the all too familiar beep, and, as usual when it came to him, she opens with a blunder, a mixture of her two fluent languages, a word that doesn’t even exist. she coughs, laughs at herself, and starts again) i mean—hey. guess who~? (/she pauses to wonder if she’s still saved on his phone, pouts a bit at the thought that she isn’t but continues with the same cheery disposition) it’s yura~ you better not have forgotten about me because i obviously haven’t forgotten you! (/she scrunches her face, embarrassed at her own words, taking solace in the fact that he can’t see her) happy birthday, rome! i know, i know, a phone call is a pretty bad present, but honestly, i wouldn’t even know what to get you. (/the stutter she usually has around him is gone, replaced by distance and the feeling of missing seoul and everything she left behind) this should suffice for now, right? i’ll treat you next time in seoul. (/she chuckles, almost hollow, wanting to go back for a few days at the end of the year but having no idea if she’ll be able to) i hope you have a great one. (/she stops, debates, and hurriedly ends with a simple phrase that says too much and still so little) ‘missyoubye. 

{` — he didn’t realize how much he missed her until he heard her voice. nostalgia creeps in, wraps itself around him, and renders him motionless as he sits down. eyes shut and a deep breath in, he feels like if he just tried hard enough, he could see her in front of him like old times. the squeal when she almost fell off the skateboard and the proud elation in her eyes when she scooted forward on her own. baby steps, he would say with her and it was true. everything was baby steps with Yura but ones he appreciated. it’s women like her and Jihyun that teach him to think of each second as precious. pulling the phone away for a second to check the time of the call, he chuckles and shakes his head. it was just like her. calling when he can’t answer. texting him instead of calling. he did miss her, how shy she was, how cute he thought it was, how she thought so highly of him even when he thought he was the shittiest guy in Seoul } How could I forget you? {` — he murmurs to himself, gaze flickering towards Seik and Dabin for a fleeting moment. when he’s on the phone, they tend to ignore it now, especially after all the calls he took from Jihyun when she went back to New York to visit in March. it’s not the first call she’s made for his birthday like this either but this year he doesn’t expect it. this year, they’ve contacted each other less and less. for Rome, he thinks she could come back and he’d still care for her as much as he did, maybe more. for her, it’s possibly not the same. it shouldn’t faze him to think she’s moved on because she confessed and he couldn’t accept. he was never able to accept anyone as long as Jihyun’s got his heart and she still does, he feels a tug of his heartstrings and he chuckles at how impossible it is for him to forget her. that doesn’t make Yura any less unforgettable. 

on his birthday, he doesn’t ask for much of anyone. if Yura asked him, he’d probably tell her to smile because it’s what he always wanted from her: a smile, a laugh, an occasional blush as she shakes her head in modesty or shyness, if he’s lucky, it’s a combination of both. but he still has the lego photo frame she gave him one year for Christmas and it’s on his desk in the apartment he barely goes to now. he spurts out a laugh at her ending message. just as cute as before. calling back would make her shy, it’d be let go to voicemail, he knows, so he’ll wait for the day she takes his calls again. until then, } 

[ text: PrettYura ] Thanks for the voicemail! [ text: PrettYura ] When you come back to Seoul, I’ll be the one who treats you  [ text: PrettYura ] What you said… it’s the same for me. Take care, yeah? Don’t forget to smile everyday! 

[rkmason]

Did you have any feelings for Yura?

“Right now? Yeah. I care for her. I’ma always care for her no matter where she goes. That girl is the closest I’ve known to … I dunno but there’s this feeling you get from being around her.” He grins, thinks back to the greeting she left him for his birthday and he misses her too. Still does. Memories linger in his mind and he wishes he could have those simple moments back; remembers how differently teaching her how to skateboard could’ve been and his next statement perfectly matches that thought. “Yura is always gonna be one of my ‘what if’s’ and those are pretty damn rare for me. I do what I feel, act how I wanna, say what I think I oughta say. That I didn’t with her is different. I liked that about her too. Who I felt like I was with her because she respected me, saw me for more than who I seem, and because I liked who I was too. I already like the guy I am but I feel like she treated me like I wasn’t lacking a single damn thing and anyone who makes you feel like that is worth keepin’ in your life. I guess you could say she’s not just one of my ‘what if’s’ but one of my greatest ones. Woulda, coulda, shoulda sort of thing but I’m happy with how things are. She seems happy being back home in LA. That’s what I wanted for her the moment I met her, to see her smile and be happy. What more could you ask for from her once she smiles?”