has rejecting a girl that liked you affected your friendship with them a lot?
“If someone knows how to reject a girl and stay best friends or close as fuck after it goes down, tell ‘em to hit me up and share the insider info.” With a sharp inhale and a light shake of his head, he wets his lips. There’s a pause and a sigh, his cloudy gaze turned away and down at the floor as he thinks it over because there’s no way it’s possible to him. Once something like that is said, it’s not the same. He knew that when he made the choice to tell Jihyun how he feels and he knows that the girls who confessed to him in the past probably knew it too. He’s the same as them in that moment, he’s hoping the reward is worth the risk.
Honestly, Rome’s gotta admit, “things haven’t been the same with me and Hyuna since then. I don’t think they are. There’s other circumstances around that too but it wasn’t the same before anything new came up. With Soojung... everything changed. I don’t even know where she is now and I wish I did. Hell, when I was going through... a phase after Jihyun rejected me,” he says the word with a grimace because it’s still painful even if they’re together now. “I thought that I should’ve accepted her. I should’a kissed her when she wanted me too because I’d been wanting to. If she hadn’t said she wanted all of me or none of me, I would’a done it. That’s kinda fucked up, right?” He shrugs like it doesn’t matter now, because it doesn’t. He’s where he is now and he’s happy about it. None of it matters when he has Jihyun. As a joke, he thinks that her rejecting him the first time was karma for all he’s done. The lying, the pretending, the flirting, when he wasn’t into a girl in that way. He doesn’t have to do that anymore. This time, he’s in it for real.
How long will you wait for Jihyun? Do you think there will ever come a point where you'd give up?
“Realistically, I can’t say forever but that’s what every single cell in my body screams for me to do. How do you fight that kind of feeling? How can I apply any kind of logic to how I feel about her? Logic would tell me to let go. If she wanted me, I would know by now. If she wanted me, she wouldn’t have fucked that guy. If she wanted me, we’d be together. But Lee Jihyun is the furthest thing from logic that I know and I’d be damned if that isn’t one of the reasons I like her so fucking much.” It’s more than his stubborn nature that has him reacting like this and he shakes his head, disbelief lodged deeply within smoldering charcoal hues. “But there is a point I’d give up. I’m stupid, yeah. Maybe I’m blind too because I didn’t know but I’m not ignorant to how she feels. If there’s anything that’s gonna make me give up, it’s if I feel like I’m bothering her. If I’m a nuisance, if how I feel ‘bout her is a burden. She doesn’t need that from me and I don’t want to do that to her. How could I say I like her and do that? So, if Jihyun wanted me to give up and stopped giving me the bullshit reason of ‘because I’m not good enough for you’ or ‘I won’t make you happy’ or something like that but she was genuine about wanting me to move on because she doesn’t feel that way about me or ever will, I’d give up. I’d move on. For her and for myself. That’s the reason I told her. Because I don’t like living with doubts and Jihyun is the last person I want to have doubts about. I’d trust her with my life. I’m down for her and I like to think she’s down for me. If my feelings threaten that somehow, I’d give up then too but no matter what, I wanna be in her life. I wanna be someone who helps her feel stronger, who makes her smile. I don’t wanna complete her and I don’t want her to complete me. I don’t need that from her. I just need her around, you know what I mean?”
“No.” Point blank. “I don’t.” It doesn’t bother him to think of it, to think that he sounds more heartless than usual but he means it whole-heartedly, completely. “Ivy’s always deserved better than what I gave her. She wasn’t a rebound. I wasn’t dating Jihyun when she was in Australia for that summer but damn I wasn’t giving Ivy my all and she deserves more. That girl deserves the whole fucking world and I’m glad that with her personality she demands it. It’s what drew me to her.” His tongue swipes over his lower lip and he chuckles lowly, shaking his head “thinking back on it, I don’t know how I could’ve avoided being so into her as I was. In the end, it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough and I couldn’t do that to her. I couldn’t be selfish and hold onto her when I wasn’t completely there. She needed someone, she needed me, and I wasn’t the right guy. I was dumb, still am if you ask her and I’d agree in a fucking heartbeat. I liked her so much I wanted so much for her and when I realized I couldn’t give her my everything— when I found out I couldn’t give her all of my heart the way I should’ve, I decided to break hers so she’d move on because I believe in what we could’ve been. You know, it’s like that damn song. Almost is never enough. Down the line, I think she’d see that and I wouldn’t know how to take it. I wouldn’t know how to handle losing her because I’m not enough in some way. I was selfish in keeping her and in letting go. In the end, I think she’ll be happier and I am too. I got tired of being the fuck-up I spent so much time believing I was back then. Should I have told her instead of betraying her trust? Yeah, but like I said I’m an idiot. I hurt her but I don’t regret forcing her to break up with me the way I did. I didn’t want her to compare herself to Jihyun. To look at Jihyun and think ‘this is the person I couldn’t measure up to’ because it’s not how I feel. She was more than enough. It was all me. If I was gonna hurt her, I’d rather it be something she can let go of. She’s strong enough for that. Strong enough to know she deserves better.”
“Right now? Yeah. I care for her. I’ma always care for her no matter where she goes. That girl is the closest I’ve known to … I dunno but there’s this feeling you get from being around her.” He grins, thinks back to the greeting she left him for his birthday and he misses her too. Still does. Memories linger in his mind and he wishes he could have those simple moments back; remembers how differently teaching her how to skateboard could’ve been and his next statement perfectly matches that thought. “Yura is always gonna be one of my ‘what if’s’ and those are pretty damn rare for me. I do what I feel, act how I wanna, say what I think I oughta say. That I didn’t with her is different. I liked that about her too. Who I felt like I was with her because she respected me, saw me for more than who I seem, and because I liked who I was too. I already like the guy I am but I feel like she treated me like I wasn’t lacking a single damn thing and anyone who makes you feel like that is worth keepin’ in your life. I guess you could say she’s not just one of my ‘what if’s’ but one of my greatest ones. Woulda, coulda, shoulda sort of thing but I’m happy with how things are. She seems happy being back home in LA. That’s what I wanted for her the moment I met her, to see her smile and be happy. What more could you ask for from her once she smiles?”
who's butt do u like? who has a nice butt? if u could touch anyone's butt whose butt would it be?
“Damn, bro, don’t you think you got an obsession with butts? But, uh, I’ma hafta go with … well, hey, most of the females I know got nice butts so I’m not complaining. I’m not gonna go around feelin’ up on all of em’ though. If I had to choose any one person, damn … “ The question isn’t one he has to think about but he does pause for their sake, barely attempting to be not as shameless for once in his damn life. “Jihyun. I’d choose her.” Any day.
What was your first impression of all the NOVA trainees? Talk about them individually.
“All of ‘em, huh? Damn, don’t you think I talk enough without being asked to do that?” He’s joking but half of him is serious. A chatterbox since birth, he doesn’t know if he can get started on this topic and keep it brief but he’ll try. Speaking of first impressions makes him want to go in depth on how he feels now but then he’d really never stop running his mouth off.
“Yerin-ssi is a cutie. First time I saw ‘er, I overheard her singing and, damn, she’s got them vocals. She’s got that whole ‘big things come in small packages’ vibe to her, you know what I mean? Ah— Sunny noona is like that too but I’ll get to that or I’l forget what I’m tryna say.” Clearing his throat, he angles his head, gives a short laugh because damn did he really forget in the span of two seconds? “If I had to choose a word, sweet. She’s that sweet, little sister of Korea or first love type.”
“Snake hyung is the most badass guy I know. You know, Huidong hyung.” Speaking of the older male trainee eases him into a grin and it’s genuine at the very least. He respects the guy, looks up to him. It’s hard not to with such amazing dancing skills under his belt. “He moves in ways some of my old crew and I could only dream of. Now, don’t go thinking impurely or anything, I just mean hyung can dance in a way that you don’t question why Nova wanted him. My first impression of him is a little biased, if you’re wondering why I say this. ‘Cause I was a fan of his before meeting ‘im and he hasn’t let me down since.”
He shrugs at the next person he thinks of, “we haven’t spoken much but I’ve seen him dance a few times. Guy’s got this great aura to him. I really admire it. I’d like to talk to him but, you know, schedules and all. Sometimes paths don’t cross in the company depending on what we’re told to do. But, yeah, Jung Hoseok-ssi; he seems like a damn cool guy.”
Trying to hide a smile at the next person doesn’t work out so well for him and he gives in, chuckles as he shakes his head. “Girl’s a fighter — that was my first thought about Kim Hyuna. Things like ‘damn, why is she only wearing a sports bra around all these guys?’ and ‘damn, Rome, don’t look any lower, ya fucking idiot’ crossed my mind too but the way I was joking with her, I know she knows it. If ya ask her though, she’ll say I was flirting and I’ma hafta admit I would flirt with her then. But it’s how I talk too. If flirting is the only way to compliment a girl and make her laugh or smile without rolling her eyes and thinking it’s insincere instead, then so be it. I ain’t the type to fight things like that. But yeah, that’s my first impression of her. Things have changed since then.”
“Seokjin-ssi … guy’s cool too. Pretty boy type, so, you know, I think I could get along with him on any worries he’s got ‘bout that. I don’t think he’s the strongest dancer from what I remember ‘bout one of the first times I saw him around but Nova isn’t all dancers. I think he proves that whether he wants to or not. Can’t say much else.”
Rome tries not to smile again, laughing under his breath because he doesn’t know how to go about this. “If I’ve known Min for years, does anything count as my first impression since joining Nova? She’s … I dunno. She says we’re basically related because she’s cousins with my cousin but I dunno how that works. Second cousins, third cousins, cousins twice removed, that kind of shit, I don’t get. Uh … When I first ran into her in Nova, I didn’t know she was there. I’m not that up to date on everything but I was glad to see her there because I know she wanted Nova from what Joey hyung’s told me before.”
“As for first impression of Sunny noona, I saw her video for the Lotte Valentine’s Day contest so you know, I thought she was talented from the start. Like I said earlier, ‘big things in small packages’ and she’s got this ‘old soul’ vibe. Not callin’ her old or nothing but she gives you this feeling that she’s been through a lot and that she has more experience than you would think because her name is Sunny and you’d expect her to be all sunshine.”
“I haven’t spoken a lot to Taecyeon-ssi but I know he’s a friendly guy. Looking at ‘im, I could see why people would feel intimidated. He’s a tall ass guy but I think he looks nice, like the goofy type. I’d like to get to know him more but I think I tend to more serious during training.”
He shrugs, wets his lips and shrugs, oddly running out of things to say since the question only asks for first impressions and he already feels like he’s been rambling for a long time.
“Everyone is different once the day ends, right? Honestly, I’d like to see all of the trainees like that and last but not least, there’s Ricky. First impression? Ah, not tryna be cruel but he looks like a kid so you underestimate him but I think that’s his charm. You want to underestimate him. Oh, right. The word is underdog, yeah? Anyway, you wanna do that because you wanna see him prove you wrong. That kind of feel,” he nods, sure of how he’s describing it now. “I wanna see him grow, as rude as it sounds because he was in the company before me. I have a lot of growing to do too.”
Rubbing his hands together, he chuckles softly, brow raising because he knows where this is going. “D’ya mean romantically or, you know?” These kind of questions tend to veer towards romantic interest and normally he doesn’t mind but he’s gotta wonder at the same time why it matters. “Smile.” Rome smiles himself in that moment and wets plush tiers, hand pressed to the nape of his neck as he tilts his head. “I dunno. Isn’t that average? Eyes, smile, face. Things like that. Where else are you gonna look at if you’re talking to a person? I mean, you shouldn’t be looking anywhere else if you’re talking. Damn rude, if you ask me. From afar, I look at how a person carries themselves. Do they slouch? Drag their feet? Why do I do that? Because people should be confident. If I could give anyone anything, it’d be confidence and hope. People forget that kind of shit too often.”
