#y.f

[yasmines-journey]

I can no longer feel myself

Right here in this moment

There's no more slipping away

And no more hoping for a better day

I'm gone

I'm so gone

I wish I could turn the clock back

And shield myself from the pain and undo every crack

All the cracks made in my stupid heart

And stroke the hair of my younger self

I wish I could just tell her to smile

To not do this and that and find peace for a while

to avoid so, so many things

They say to live with no regrets

But I've been lost in a hundred

I can never go back to who I used to be

I no longer have the hope to one day set my soul free

I wish I could let her know it gets better

It doesn't get better

[yasmines-journey]

Hope is the quietest killer.

The one that sends electrodes down your back with a shiver,

that makes eyes grow wide and quiver

yet leaves you everytime quicker and quicker.

It's that same face you always chase but never gives you it's saving grace,

just a glimpse.

Gives a light so bright but still it makes you wince,

sucks your insides dry and in the end you cry

Makes you bleed from your heart when the dissapointment strikes

and your new fears become frights.

Because all it took was a little bit of hope to give you those delights

To snatch it away all in a day

to lay you to bed because now your hopes are dead.

Listen, Goodnight my sweet baby and sleep tight tight tight.

If you just let go all that hope can only be a fright.

Y.F

[yasmines-journey]

Desert, for miles.

Sand blowing and sun shining,

Surface cracks and withered roots,

Water just steam flying away...

That's the beginning and end of my heart,

Freezing nights and boiling days,

Barren lands that grow no flowers,

Blistered feet that burn with every step.

Unrelenting, lifeless.

Isolated, cruel.

That is all I have to offer...

[yasmines-journey]

If my tears could flow in colours,

My pillow would paint a thousand secrets of all my life.

[yasmines-journey]

If I could pray for just one thing, it would be to fly far far away, free as a bird.

[yasmines-journey]

Nobody understands how things can haunt you.

How when you finally seem like your fine to everyone else,

those same scars can rip open with no warning,

the same pains suddenly fly to the surface,

and the neverending suffering can dig at your soul and happiness again.

People just don't understand that some pains last a lifetime, that some conditions can never be cured, and you only learn to live with pieces of yourself missing.

Sometimes you just will never be complete. If you haven't experienced that or don't know that it's ok, but please be there so intently for those around you whose life's have been shaken to the core for now and for ever. Please.

[yasmines-journey]

I saw the way you walk

No,

The way you stride.

I became so jealous as it seemed that one step of yours would equal a thousand of mine.

You don't know how long I've been running, to get to where you began.

You don't know how deeply I cried when I saw every door you walked towards open,

chauffeured,

closed at your demand.

While I was still banging on the windows, and shaking at the handle.

God I would love to live with such ease, to have my tears be over boys, to have everything in the world to give, and no idea what grief really was.

I'm so jealous of the simple and played out life you live, the regular story of everything I dreamed of.

But no, you'll see me sitting in the corner, abused, begging, fighting, wishing.

You might look at me one day and think "what a disgrace" before you walk back into your world of hapiness. Enjoy...

[yasmines-journey]

I gave and I gave, but it wasn't enough

I gave and I gave, 'til nothing was left

Now I'm bereaved

From everything that you did,

Everything you said.

Just countless insecurities, emotional instability.

A hatred I never knew, but it's all from you.

I guess you feel special now, that you made me break down.

These things I should have always seen,

But love is blind you see...

I gave and I gave, but nothing sufficed

gave and gave, 'til my heart couldn't survive.

I'm just empty now, no more living left for me...