#y4pp1ng

[k1ll3r-k4rg0]

Post rescue is so good for traumatizing a guy but remember you can always find ways to traumatize him in ANY au

[k1ll3r-k4rg0]

would any of you be interested in doing a sort of terror centric artfight in july? just for the fandom. it would be art and writing allowed as well as terror characters and ocs. basically like artfight but show characters are allowed as well as writing

[k1ll3r-k4rg0]

Divine vision came upon me. Instead of k*vin g*thrie for Henry Peglar -- Daniel Radcliffe . Short, looks similar, AND he's cutieful.

[k1ll3r-k4rg0]

I really like that Stephen (maturin) is depressed it pleases me. I also like that he doesn't have augh the Romanian word is fițe -- doesn't have pretentious snobbish ideals / preferences that would make a person appear wealthier and higher class than they are (when these ideals / preferences r actually just plastic). Would that mean humble? No, not humble. He's very very very prideful to a fault. I think Jack is way more humble than Stephen is. I call it something something genuine. There's genuinity of character to him. If I'm reading it right (and I might not be), he's very just himself, not trying to be anything else. Like even when he gets worked up about Diana and such I don't think he bends over backwards to try and change himself in any way to have her. He just accepts that he can't, hates that he can't, hates himself for being worked up about, then tries to solve it (and ultimately fails). He tends to be a guy who accepts the matter at hand and looks for solutions out of it while bitching the entire time. He's also so in his head and bitter about everything. I love that for him. Delightful little fungus

[k1ll3r-k4rg0]

Dont wanna spend longer with this than I have, but a random collection of songs that I could see Edward Little taking to heart. For the prompt crying in the dark for @cold-boy-tapes!!

Id type this up normally but im on my phone rn and this is like 3hrs long. Doesn't need to be in order, can be shuffled! The order theyre in right now is basically the order I thought of them, so I guess the most pertinent ones are at the top, with Ghinzu's "Blow" being number one, quickly followed by a handful of Muses and Nine Inch Nails.

I tried to keep it kinda' in his music taste, but I know a lot of his music taste is mine bc I gave him mine, so basically these songs were picked because they're songs that I connect to. For Edward, they make him feel really emotional / are songs he listens to when he feels like utter shit, turned up way too loud or absolutely tuned in and not thinking about anything else but how miserable and wretched and upset he feels. It's missing "Anthem for No State" by Godspeed You! Black Emperor" which is not on Spotify rn. Also idk if the Billie Eilish fits at all but come on.

[k1ll3r-k4rg0]

I cannnnnnt get behind a jopson who is 24/7 caring and the joplittle being centered around jopson being kind to little when no one else is. Jopson is kind because he has to be! He wants to be the best steward he can be, and then he wants to be the best lieutenant he can be. If he was inherently kind--if kindness guided him as it did other characters--he wouldn't have threatened hickey when guarding him in the tent (though there he was also trying to be a lieutenant, imposing, on guard). So whenever a joplittle fic or scenario centers itself around the concept of Jopson being kind to Edward out of the goodness of his heart, I find it unrealistic and frankly boring. Better is a Jopson who is so buried under his own traumas and neuroses he can only approach Edward as an extension of crozier, someone who is under crozier as he (Jopson) is and who crozier interacts with, talks about, and maybe even is concerned for

[k1ll3r-k4rg0]

nothing special but all of these are To Note. hickgib successfully got together AND romania mentioned

also aubrey maturin added, putting them under the cut coz they're not terrors. sophia is really hard to grasp for some reason

[k1ll3r-k4rg0]

Thinking about her (Jasmine fitzjames) this evening : (

She's so lost... she's actually so lost. And she hates herself. So much. She's achieved what she's always dreamed of, she's become the woman she wants to be, and shes in a popular band and has friends, good friends who won't leave her, but still she feels so ugly. Still she looks in the mirror and thinks her shoulders too broad, her face too sharp, her hands too big. She feels like she's wearing a costume. Like she's just moved from one role to the next. Like this is all just part of the play, and she still can't come home, can't take off the uniform and leave the show. She thinks herself one big man shaped puzzle piece trying to fit into a woman shaped hole. That it'll never work. She is a gaping wound, and she bleeds, but she doesn't bleed enough

She loves dundy with all her heart. But he only fucks her. And when someone new comes along, she's shocked and then scared to find out he's keeping the new guy. That he's not fucking and dumping like he's done with every other guy he's picked up

She thinks this is it. The truth will come out. He's only needed her because she was familiar. Because they'd fought in the war together and almost died out there. He's never opened up to her with his hopes and dreams, with his fears. He's come to her for attention and for mothering and that's it. Now that he has someone new who he's spending all his time with, he'll leave her for sure, he'll leave her

So it comes as a shock to her when dundy doesn't leave her. When he actually starts carving time out of his day to spend with her. When he actually starts making an effort to connect with her and know her just beyond the fucking.

It's a trick, she thinks, but it isn't. Her mind comes up with a thousand excuses. But Dundy doesn't leave her. So she finally opens up to him, hoping she can trust him with her soul and her heart. She tells him about her insecurities. She spills it out all over the floor. It's terrifying--she's never been friends with dundy like this, they've only ever been superficial, and there's no way in hell he'll understand, but the hurt broken part of her needs him to, she's needs him to see her, so she tells him everything. It spills out ugly, stains the floor, makes a mess of her perfectly carved little image she's made of herself

"Am I just pretending?" she asks. "Is it fake? Am I really a woman? Or am I just hiding from myself again? Am I just trying to be something I'm not out of sheer desperation to hide from myself?"

"You're what you've made yourself into," he says. "There's no secret real you that you have to uncover." He puts his hand on her chest where her heart is. Fingers lingering. "The real you is what you want to be. And I think, Jas, you've done just that. You're who you want to be, aren't you?"

He takes her hands gently, and she looks him in the eyes, and she believes him.

I think there's a world out there where it's possible she's happy. Where after all the pain she goes through, and then the war, and all the hate and insecurity she harbors towards herself gets processed. Where she finds some place to settle, to figure herself out, to really blossom in the safety and security of her friends

I don't know. She's a sweet thing and sad and I'm fond of her and I want her to be well. I just want her to be well