Yancy would know the layout of the ship super well after a short period of time. He's good with directions and spent a lot of time figuring out the prison. Once he gets his footing on the ship, he can tell identical corridors apart and can figure out shortcuts. Plus, being someone assigned to check on machines and the practical workings of them, he's used to walking here and there.
He's been tempted to investigate areas like the vents, but there are way too many cameras around to safely try that.
For this, the focus will be split in two: 18/20 and 21. In the former, he’s part of a gang and at the lowest part of his life. In the latter, he’s trying to redeem himself and clean up his act.
Since the latter section is quite long, I’ve put it under a read-more!
Warnings now for mentions of an unhappy family life, alcohol, smoking, and violence. All of these are glossed over, but none go into proper detail!
18 - 20 - The Gang Years
After years of being told by his father that the greaser lifestyle is associated with crime despite this being little more than a movie stereotype, Yancy did indeed join a gang out of spite. In his head, he was going to do wrong no matter what he did, so why not make it official?
He had been involved in petty crime before this (usually fights), but it was at this point where his criminal record became quite full. He’s in and out of jail a good few times, but he’s had more narrow escapes than he cares to admit. It includes fights, kidnapping, possession of illegal weapons (such as knives beyond the permitted length and certain guns), and gang activity.
The gang taught him how to fight and how to obtain weapons he can legally carry. He began drinking heavier - even obtaining a fake ID to get into bars with other gang members - and took up smoking.
Arguments with his parents (especially his father) became more frequent. Yancy would goad them, asking why they didn't kick him out if they were so disappointed in him. They refused to fall for it. It’s important to note that while Yancy’s parents weren’t the best at handling him, they were good parents. They still loved their son, and knew that if he left home he would be dead within the year. Even so, no attempt to find middle ground was made. The bridge had been burned.
He’d regularly have bruises on his knuckles from fights and punching walls in frustration. It was a miracle his nose wasn’t broken from the amount of fights he’d land in because of his ratty behaviour. He constantly felt like everyone was against him, something emphasised by his belief that anyone he got close to would abandon him in time. This was something that happened to him several times, and cemented the idea that no one really cared about him.
He obtained his first tattoo at twenty - the abstract boxes on his left arm. You can read about the unusual circumstances of that tattoo here.
(His second tattoos are the words ‘Dark’ and ‘Mark’ written on his fingers. While an unpolished fighter, he has a very good punch. The ‘dark mark’ would represent the almighty bruises he’d leave on someone after a fight.
--
21 - The Redemption Year
Yancy had a ‘wake up call’ through a dream. He was alone in a dark room. As he turned to find a way out, he found himself face to face with a man in a dark red suit and holding a cane. The man eyed him up and down before tutting softly.
“Is this what you’ve become?” the stranger sighed. “Didn’t think you would actually let others decide your worth for you.” This riled Yancy, who sharply asked what the stranger was talking about. The man in red chuckled and used the cane to point at Yancy, “Why, I’m talking about you! Is this really where you want to be in life? A washed up nobody who is worth less than the dirt on the bottom of my shoe? How can you possibly look at yourself in the mirror?”
The mocking only angered Yancy enough to snap at the stranger, questioning why he should even care about someone like Yancy. The stranger was able to turn this on its head with ease. “Simple. I care because you clearly don’t. So what if the world thinks you’re garbage? Keep this up, and you’re only going to let yourself. Look where you’ve ended up after spending your life basing your worth on whether your parents like you. What about you? What do you wanna do, and why are you denying yourself the chance to do just that?” He paused just long enough to watch the penny drop in Yancy’s mind. “If there’s something you want to do, then go chase that dream. Trust me, you’ll regret it when you’re dead. But if your dream is to be a pathetic mess, then keep it up!”
-
The dream worked like magic. Yancy managed to pull himself out of the gang after surviving the ‘trial of shame’ - a knife slice to the neck. This gash was a brand to other gang members that Yancy was a disgrace, and it was fine to leave him in the dirt if anything happened to him. The gash healed to leave a scar on the left side of his neck (it would later be partially covered by a tattoo of Tiny’s Box Tim in Happy Trails). A small switchblade would constantly be on his person in case someone from the old gang did try and jump him.
After some pleading, he managed to convince the mechanic he had previously worked with to take him back. The mechanic promised to help Yancy finish his apprenticeship and get his qualification, on the condition that Yancy promised to keep out of trouble and not get arrested once during the remainder of the apprenticeship.
In the six months that followed, Yancy quit drinking and cut the cigarettes to one pack a week (and ultimately to only smoking when he’s stressed). He kept out of trouble, even going as far as taking extra shifts to try and make up for lost time.
This is where he takes up boxing in an attempt to channel his frustrations and use pent-up energy in a more positive light. Dancing is also taken back up unofficially. While he is still an emotional mess, he has more grounding than he’s had in years.
The hard work pays off, and he passed his final assessments to receive the cert that shows he can be hired as a qualified mechanic. While the ‘graduation’ isn’t a formal ceremony, there is excitement as he returns to the assessment centre to receive it.
Unfortunately for Yancy, his bike is hit by an SUV that broke a red light. While he was mostly unharmed, his bike was destroyed and a large dent was left in the SUV. Despite witnesses being present to back him up in A&E, his parents were quick to believe it was Yancy’s fault.
There was a massive argument after they returned home. The thrill of getting his qualification was glossed over in favour of the family attempting to pay bills they couldn’t afford (despite none of this actually being Yancy’s fault)
That was the night Yancy killed both his parents… But that’s a story for another time.
"Oh! That's a good question. I know I keep saying I ain't worth shit - and that's still true before anyone says anything - but there is one thing I did that I's proud of; and that's the fact that I is a qualified mechanic. It's kinda the, uh, finale to a big sorta big change, if that makes sense. But it's a bit of a long read so we's using one of them read mores."
"
"So when I was a teen, I had been in with a proper greaser group. Accidentally found 'em on one of my long trip walks home after school since I didn't wanna go home. They was just a group of guys in their forties and upward who was big into cars, rock an' roll, all that good stuff. They met some afternoons at one of the local coffee shops and they'd take up half the car park. Great business for the place, I was told! Anyway, I met this guy we called Rubber Wheels, and he was a mechanic. He seen I had an interest in how vehicles worked and, uh, maybe he saw something good in me that I didn't, 'cause he let me help him in his garage - also called 'Rubber Wheels', but folks just called it "The Garage". Only on weekends, since he wanted me to stay in school. He got me signed up on this intern programme that let me take part in a course that would let me get a mechanic cert that I could then use to get more things later.
I then hit my first real shit point in life, but that ain't a story for now. All youse gotta know I'd that I ditched the job without no excuse.
After that point - and we is talking a couple of years later - I went back to the Garage like some mutt with its tail between its legs. Rubber Wheels was pissed at first, but then he showed this side of him that, uh, that he was worried 'bout me? Slapped me upside the head when he seen the scar but then pulled me into a bear hug when he said that he was glad I survived.
Dunno how he managed it, but I was able to pick up the course where I left off and see it through. I was 20 at that point, and I wasn't in any school, so I could cover way more hours. He helped me get my smoking and drinking down waaay low too, and he'd keep me on so long as I kept outta trouble. And like, I didn't wanna get tangled up in nothing, so I could do that.
And I did, and I got my cert. But the night of it, Rubber Wheels had one of them family emergencies so he couldn't go with me. I was like, 'aight, thats cool, I can go by myself to get the piece of paper.
But I never got to get that celebratory drink off him. I lived in the high of having something good to my name for about... An hour? Two hours tops?
Still... If there's one thing, it's that even after all these years, I can still help the guards figure out vehicle problems before they can get a proper mechanic here. And I've been winging it, but I've been trying to fix some machines too. A washing machine ain't a motor bike, that's for sure!"
As per greaser habits, Yancy has given most of the head staff nicknames or new titles. While some seem a little confusing, it actually makes sense.
Captain: Cap, Boss.
Mark: Head Honcho (Yancy is a member of the engineering team).
Celci: Tundra (or 'Ms Tundra')
Gunther: Crosshairs
Burt: Wrenchie
Not including the titles for the Captain, Yancy will use the above when talking about the person, not to them. (eg. "I was trying to get my toolbox when one of Crosshair's turrets slammed into me like it was trying to be a quarterback").
-
Yancy tends to opt for the graveyard shifts. He's still adjusting to life on parole, and while there's a set routine that is familiar to life as a prisoner, he still feels overwhelmed by the sheer number of crew. Not only that, Yancy isn't in any way trained for space exploration and feels like a fraud being here in the first place.
However, he is here for a purpose, and that's because of his mechanic background. He's usually tasked with making practical repairs, such as fixing doors or cargo vehicles. He's also been allowed on the bridge to help repair a broken light fixture thanks to some training as an electrician.
-
He doesn't have much in the line of personal possessions. There's a prized leather jacket, a ukulele, and some photos in a beat-up, second-hand photo album that he could amass before he went on parole. Beyond that, there's not really anything of worth in his cabin. He's still trying to figure out what he wants to focus on in his free time now that he has the choice to do anything. It's a lot to take in.
-
This also leads to a curious situation: Yancy is well-liked amongst those he works with, but he's cautious when it comes to actually make friends. This is for two reasons. The first is because he's keenly aware that people will think poorly of him when they learn he's a formerly incarcerated person, and that will only get worse when they discover why he was arrested. The second is because his friends in the Gang were the first proper friends he had. Before that, he was the family disappointment or the nuisance no one wanted to spend time with. He doesn't want to lower his guard and risk being ditched.
Rather than spamming the tags of this post, I’m yelling here.
BECAUSE THIS.
IS SOMETHING I’VE TALKED ABOUT.
FOR YEARS.
YOU SEE THIS GUY???
He never wanted to apply for parole. Biggest reason for that is that he’s alone in the world. Everyone he cares about are behind bars with him. That’s all that matters. He doesn’t need to worry about making ends meet, finding a job, potentially facing homelessness because he doesn’t have a support system. His friends are here with him. He doesn’t need the outside world.
But what has happened on this blog several times when he’s gotten close to someone (romantically or in a familial sense)?
HE LOOKS TO APPLY FOR PAROLE.
Every time. Guaranteed. Knowing that someone is out there that believes in him is the push he needs. He’s not the man he was over eight years ago. This is a man who is doing so much better. He’s a man in a much better headspace! He wants to show that person they have good reason to keep their faith in him. And more importantly, he wants to be a part of their life in a way that is normal. No “third Sunday of the month” visits. He wants to be able to see them as often as he likes.
He has a reason to prove he can do better. He has a purpose and a reason to LIVE, not merely EXIST.
△ yancy. favourite and least favourite gang member. no mercy.
Triangle Truth
"Two. Or maybe a one? It ain't that bad.
Least favourite's easy. That's Jimmy the Pickle. It ain't no surprise since we's not a pair that get along, see. We can work together for a common goal but we ain't boozing buddies. But the favourite... Shit, that's tough. Everyone got things I likes 'bout 'em."
Slowly, Yancy sunk back into the chair to have a think. "Tiny's good company when youse just want someone there but not much talking. Bam-Bam's always got a story to tell, and Shithole Hank's the best for good advice. Then Magpie - or Sparkles McGee - is just fun to be around. They's got a great interest in music, 'specially percussion, so they's is always up for a bit of music. They's is the reason I wanna get one of them ukuleles.
But... I 'spose for this... I'd say Shithole Hank. He's someone that wasn't ever meant to be here, but it ain't my story to tell. It means that he's not like the rest of us. He's had a good life. Kinda gives the rest of us scumbags something to look up to, yeah? And he's smart too, like I said. He don't care 'bout no reputation. He wants to help keep the likes of me outta trouble... Kinda nice to have someone to look up to that isn't a crock of shit."
With everything Yancy has going on, there are a couple of fears that haunt him. A lot of things he can face head-on or simply shrug off, but there are times that he can buckle and they can get the best of him. Since it does discuss fear, I’m sticking it under a read-more. I’m also putting it in the tags just in case!
Claustrophobia (fear of small spaces) - It’s situational. He can manage quite well in small spaces. Narrow corridors or his prison cell don’t bother him since he can work through them. However, the fear kicks in when he’s trapped in a small space with no way out. It started from his parents becoming exasperated and frequently grounding him by locking him in his room. After escaping through the window, the keys were taken. This leads to...
Solitary Confinement - It’s the worst situation he could find himself in. He’s only been sent to solitary a few times during his time in Happy Trails for a few days at a time, but each time has done a number on him that took a few weeks to recover from. With no way to pass the time or acknowledge the passing of time, he becomes quite anxious. He becomes quieter, more withdrawn, and fearful that he is one wrong step away from being trapped there again. It’s one reason that he refuses to escape prison (aside from wanting to seek parole the right way) - if he breaks out and gets caught, he will immediately be transferred to a max-security prison. It would be the next-best thing to being in solitary 24/7.
Fear of Abandonment - something that stemmed from his parents being too busy helping his older sisters when he was a young child (which he doesn’t remember btw), it developed into a hyper-realisation that people didn’t stay forever. All the things that they had in common was that in the end, Yancy was left behind. It spun out of control, combining with his low self-worth to convince himself that he wasn’t good enough and that he didn’t deserve to have their company in the first place. It’s why he would usually be so guarded regarding romantic relationships, but if he falls he does so hard and fast. Even so, he’ll struggle with it, terrified that admitting it might make the other person hate him. It’s why his closest friends in the ‘Gang’ are prisoners that have long sentences. Unless they transfer to another prisoner, there’s a core group that won’t be leaving any time soon. Likewise, in a verse where he takes parole, he needs to have someone on the outside ready to support him. He will be completely alone otherwise.
Fear of Being Compared to His Past Self - There’s a reason that I haven’t written Yancy’s full name here despite knowing it. He’s an avid supporter of the belief that what happened in the past stays in the past, especially regarding him and his past actions. He accepts responsibility for the crimes he committed as █ █ █ █ - but the person who held the birth name is not the same person that Yancy is today. █ █ █ █ was a troubled young man who was faced with the reality that no matter how much he tried to better himself, he would never be good enough for his family’s high expectations. As Yancy, he’s trying to make that better future, find himself and be better. He’s reached a point where he’s trying to move on, but it’s made complicated by the fact he’s not given himself the chance to properly look at what happened and try to make peace with it.
(I had toyed with the idea of him meeting one of his sisters for the first time since his trial to try and look at this tbh)
It’s why he’d look into legally changing his name if he were to go for parole. He doesn’t want people comparing him to the man he used to be.
It had been so subtle. Something so slight that anyone else would miss it. Morgan had been tugging the end of their hair, staring at nothing with a vacant expression. Anyone else would think Morgan was daydreaming, but Yancy knew better. Something was troubling them, likely a memory had stirred that they were helpless to do anything about. His brief meeting with ‘Yvonne’ was enough to help him see that something very bad had happened, and Morgan likely never had a chance to properly work through... Whatever it was.
The words were his way of giving reassurance that he’d still be there, added by him brushing loose strands off their face. No matter how many times he caught them off-guard, Yancy adored how embarrassed they got, and he held his cellie close to him with a grin.
They stayed like that for a few moments until Morgan pulled back just enough to sign. Even if part of him wanted to object, the psychiatrist in the prison encouraged him to take the compliments he was given as the truth that they were. It meant that it wasn’t completely ready for Morgan to continue on.
Morgan getting out. Somehow, that had crept up the list to be one of his top fears of life. His entire world would be empty and colourless without them here. It would be easy to escape - he knew at least two plans that would ensure he could get out of town in mere hours - but it didn’t feel right. He felt his body tense up slightly and it took a very determined to ease himself. It wasn’t happening right now. It was okay.
“I...” No, it’s okay, Yancy. You had spoken about this in therapy. Names weren’t given, but the idea of wanting to... to... “I can’t. N-not that I don’t want to I just - Fuck. Lemme start again.” He couldn’t fumble his words and make them think the worst of this! “I made the choice a long time ago that I wanna go with youse. Where you goes, I wanna be there too, but it ain’t gonna be as easy for me. If - no, when - I gets the chance to go in front of the parole board, I’ll have a harder battle to fight to prove I should be given that second chance. But listen, Snapshot. For the first time... I gots a reason to fight, and fight like my life depends on it, ‘cause it do. I need to get out there. There’s no fucking way I can spend the rest of my life in here without you.” He finally let go of Morgan so he could take both their hands in his.
“When that time comes, I need to do it the right way. I ain’t breaking out. If I do...” He paused, swallowing the fear of a reality he had been warned of countless times so he could tell Morgan. “If I break out, then I’ll be send to one of them max security prisons where you spend all but one hour in youse’s cell. I... I have to do it the right way, okay?” Maybe Morgan could vaguely recall how withdrawn and timid he was for a few days not long after he left after spending a brief stint in Solitary. “I’ve fucked up so much in my life. But this? I gotta play it safe. I - I wanna be free. But only if youse is there with me.”
