CRUSH(ED)
male yandere x reader
“I'm telling you, that episode was ridiculous!" You laughed at the boy's enthusiasm; he walked next to you, his shoulder nearly bumping against yours.
"I cant believe they killed off a main character, she was my favorite too.." you groan.
Making the way along each locker, you finally stopped in front of your own.
"Ahh really? I thought the dashing male lead would have stolen your heart." Your friend sarcastically responded, striking a pose. You shoved him lightly, laughing.
Lain had been your best friend for a few years now, and you being his.
Starting out as spooked freshmen, Lain had no problem winning you over with his expert knowledge on the school and his class clown title. You strived to be like him: confident, well spoken, and well liked. He was genuinely perfect in your eyes. A little too perfect. He got along with everyone, it was a surprise that he even took you under his wing; being near antisocial and with your head down, you were grateful he continued to make an effort to be there. You stuck to his side like glue.
Which is why it hurt a little too much when he would play with you.
Getting close was not foreign to him; he was not particularly touchy with other people you noticed, but would easily stake claim by putting an arm around you, holding your hand, or putting his face a little too close when whispering.
You questioned him, wondering if he possibly liked you. At first you felt like you looked to into it; but the internet article "5 Signs He's Into You" made you question. Sure, it was dumb as hell to rely on a dating tips website, but what other choice did you have?
Yet the rejection was something you weren't prepared for.
"Do I like you? C'mon (Y/n) don't joke around. I could never see you that way, who could?" Lain laughed at your expense, not realizing the comment struck you harder than intended. He was known for brutal jokes, but that outright felt like too much. After all, you weren't the one toying with him! Putting your arms around him and such, you could never be so bold. So why did he get to do it? You never brought it up again, feeling too ashamed to try. And Lain never questioned it outloud either.
Ever since, it felt like he hovered a bit before tickling you or snuggling up against you on the couch; but he continued to be "friendly" affectionate.
"Helloo, are you off in space?" Lain waved a hand in front of your face. You had gotten lost in thought again. You snapped up to look at his gaze, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry, just thinking about the test coming up." You lied, trying to cover the hurt crossing your eyes.
"Yeah, okay," Lain said, his eyebrows going up questioningly.
"Anyway, chem is about to start so hurry up."
You begin to chatter about something with Lain whilst rummaging through your tiny locker for books. Lain does the same from a few lockers down; it's honestly a miracle he's so close to you.
"So anyway-" you were cut off, as a rush of papers fell out of your locker. You caught most of them before they hit the floor, but a loose sheet and envelope managed to escape your cradle. Lain moved to pick them up. His movement felt painfully slow, as you began to sweat. Shoving the papers back in your locker, you shut it tight, not bothering to deal with the dangling lock. You ripped the pink scented envelope out of Lain's hands. He was inspecting it, curious but a frown pulled his lips downward.
"What's that." He asked, his voice monotone and bland. "Nothing." You respond quickly, shoving it into an open pocket In your backpack. "What do you mean nothing? That wasn't nothing." Lain moved to look behind you, but you turned sideways to avoid his curious glare. "Its nothing!!" You shout, looking down. Your face was growing hot.
Lain saw a small name scribbled on the blush colored envelope, but it was taken away too fast for him to read. He was itching to get his hands on it again. Whoever that was meant for would surely not be receiving it. But a brilliant idea popped in his head. " is that from a se-cret lo-ver.." He teased, wiggling his eyebrows whilst looking at you.
"No! Its, it's not from anybody." You rubbed the sweat off your palms. This was bad, he wasn't supposed to see that. "So, then you wrote it. Who's it for?" Lain's voice strained, his face inching closer to yours.
"Its.." you quickly tried to come up with am excuse. "Its just a thank you note! I got extra help on math homework this past weekend thanks to a teacher."
Lain gave you a quizzical look.
"But you were hanging with me this weekend, and I always help you-"
"It was on friday." You interrupted. Staring into Lains eyes, you desperately hoped your flustered face wasn't noticeable. He scrutinized you. Lain could tell you were lying but wouldnt point it out. Doing so wouldn't allow you to reveal who it actually was. He just needed to bide time. "Alrighhtt." Lain said, sounding unconvinced. The last bell rang, and you quickly waved to him and walked away. Thank goodness you had different a class than him this period.
During the entire class, Lain couldn't get his mind off of that letter. Who's name was on it.. even worse what was in it? Was it really just a thank you note? No way. A pink scented letter with hearts drawn on the back did not read the thought of "thanks for teaching me geometry." Rather it screamed a love letter. That's the only thing it could be. But who was it for??? Certainly not a family member or outside friend. You hard hardly any friends in school as it was. Hmm, Lain tried to think of names that could match the short few scribbled letters. But you had shown no interest in any of those people... Lain gripped the sides of his head, grunting in frustration. Why the hell didn't you just say who it was for? This would've made everything easier.
Lain knew he had much work to do. It was easy at first keeping you to himself; his touchy advances warned off any other possible suitors. Even if you said you were just friends with Lain, no one would be comfortable enough to get with you knowing you had a friend that touchy. But now another person was in the mix... a crush. You had never mentioned anyone you fancied. Did you really keep this hidden from him? Your best friend? Lain felt dejected, angry, and heartbroken. This would not be the end, but it caused more difficulty now that he had to swoon you even further.
The female teacher ended her speech on chemical compounds, and rounded everyone up to get packed. You quickly shoveled the folders back into your backpack, delicately taking out the decorated envelope, and holding it to your chest. Okay. Today was the day. You were going to tell him. It was alright if you got rejected, you prepared yourself for this! One of your friends was already on standby with a bucket of icecream and bad hallmark movies. But now.. it was lunch! You shuffled out of the classroom, anxious to meet up with Lain again. No doubt he would ask a bunch of questions. How were you supposed to answer? It was clear he would be angry at you for not telling him about the fellow sooner. This was just a hassle you could have avoided by placing that envelope somewhere else! Lain met you at lunch, pulling your wrist to sit down next to him. Trying to calm your nerves, you took out your food, eating quickly. "So," lain said mischievously, "who's the lucky person deemed your 'crush'?"
You calmed your composure, taking a sip of water. "I told you it's a thank you note."
"I call bullshit." Lain said a little too harshly. He bit the inside of his cheek, trying not to appear too bothered.
Silence followed the two of you. You looked down at your food, trying to appear busy.
"Come ooonn, you have to tell me sometime! No one sends a thank you note in pink with hearts all over it." Lain rested his head onto his folded arms. Your loss of composure made him smile. You were so cute, trying to hide things so obvious from him. "So you saw that huh.." you coughed, trying to hide your embarrassment. "Duh. So are you going to tell me who it is??" Lain pleaded. He grabbed your hand, giving you the biggest puppy eyes he could muster.
You folded, sighing and looking down at the table. It was comforting to have his fingers folded between your own but it made telling him ten times harder. "Well.. he's someone in my class-" "’Which class?" "Uh..world history." "Where does he sit? Do I know him, is it even a he??" Lain bombarded you with questions you knew you couldn't reveal. Fiddling with the hem of your jacket, the dangerous glint in Lain's eyes went unnoticed by you. "He.. has green eyes and uh.. I dunno, he uh he sits near me." "Green eyes and I know him okay what's his name?" You nearly flinched, the hope that Lain wouldn’t ask that, left you.
Getting up the courage to tell him, you gripped onto your backpack.
"Well he's-"
By a sudden twist of fate, the universe decided you could live today, with the early ring of the school bell. Students stood up to leave, laughing and talking amongst each other. You blew a sigh of relief, collecting your things and hardly making eye contact with Lain. "Hey wait-" "Gottagotoclassnowbye!!" You shuffled out the door, trying to speed walk it out. Shoving past other students, you held your head down. They looked at you with annoyance but you didn't have any time to apologize.
After today things with Lain would go back to normal and either you'd score a boyfriend or leave with your heart torn to shreds.
Sounded like a pretty good deal in your opinion.
Lain sat in shock as you pushed past people out the door. He gripped the edge of the table, trying to calm down. He was usually able to contain his anger, but today you and that letter were pissing him off. Why wouldn't you just say who it was?? Now he'd have to follow you, trying to find out who it is for by bothersome people he didnt care for.
Lain didn't mind following you to find the information, but much more preferred you to outright tell him. That way, he wouldnt have to waste time learning the name of who he needed to get rid of. It had taken Lain weeks to get the courage to approach you at the beginning of your friendship. Despite his carefree and jovial act, you sat there looking unfazed, and perfect in his eyes. No one else mattered when you were in that room, no one else mattered as long as you laughed at his jokes and played along with him. You were divine; the definition of beauty to him. And he needed to be near you, to be in your presence and know he was cared for by you. Lain didnt intend to get so defensive and angry; it had just developed. His mother did the same thing for his father, so why should his love be any different? He'd make sure you threw away that envelope and your feelings for whatever bastard they belonged to. and he'd be there to comfort you every step of the way. Lain skipped his classes, no matter how desperately he needed to attend. It was worth it to see you scribble in your notebook in each class, drawing hearts around your name and some other he couldn't manage to read. Dammit. What he would give to find that assholes name. Best case scenario, it was just some theater geek he could scare off. Lain prayed it wasn't some jackass who'd use you.. such types were always the hardest to draw away. They are always so stubborn to get rid of, one way or another. You held the letter close to your heart, walking with determination to your last few classes. It made Lains heart flutter, knowing you were so determined. Oh why couldn't you have just fallen for him?? He had worked so hard, and yet you were confessing to someone else; someone not worthy of your time. Lain dug his nails into his hands, unable to control the rage. The letter was within his reach, if you'd just move a few steps closer. But alas, you stepped away, chatting with a classmate. You couldn't know he was following you; then he'd be labeled a creep and never see you again!
Biting his nails, Lain tried to figure out a different plan of attack. He was your best friend, youd have to come crying back eventually.
"Hey y/n!" One of your male classmates ran up to you, smiling with a folder in his hand. He questioned you about this weeks homework. As much as you liked being of service, he was really getting in the way of something important. You smiled, and politely told him the pages of work due. He thanked you, and lingered for a bit longer, making small talk. "So uh.. are you finding this class difficult?" He questioned. You internally groaned, tired of all this daily chatter. "Uhm, not particularly, y'know Mrs. C-" before you were about to suggest other means of help to the student, Lain appeared from the corner. His walking was abnormal,like he had just sprouted from the ground.
"Hey glad I found you!" He said, looking at you expectantly. You held your books and the scented envelope tighter against your chest. "Oh heya." You replied back "Uh you know each other?" The male student across from you asked.
"Yes we do now we gotta go, y/n I'd like to show you something important." Lain lied, having full intent of doing anything he could to get you away from that creep. That "classmate", had evil intentions of bothering you. Bothering in such a way that Lain most certainly did not approve of. He pushed your shoulders from behind, leading you away from the confused boy. "By then!" He called out. Before you could reply, trying to turn around, Lain shouted, "goodbye now!" Leading you away this time by the arm. You tried to shrug off his weird behavior, assuming it was because of his desperation for knowing your secret crush. You didn't like to flatter yourself so, but it was very clear that Lain abhored his fair share of gossip, especially when it involved you for some reason. "Uh, Lain?" You called out, trying to stop his fast pace. Lain kept walking, his grip on you getting tighter. "Lain that hurts-" you called out. His grip was bruising, leaving an imprinted handmark. Lain turned around, his grip on your wrist faltering. You rubbed the indent, frowning at the twisted and tingling pain. "Hell. I'm sorry y/n." The boy lifted up your sleeve, caressing the mark. Lain would be lying if he said he didn't like the way a piece of him was evident on you. "I'm sorry..." he whispered again bringing your wrist up his mouth, his lips gliding over your inner wrist. You stepped back, bewildered at his actions. Sure, sometimes Lain was a bit touchy but this? Okay this was CLEARLY out of friendly bounds. You stumbled over your words, pulling your hand back. Your fingers slightly brushed against his face and hair; it sent shivers though you. You pushed the slightly bruised hand against your chest, protecting it. "So uh.. can you- can you meet me on the rooftop after the last bell?" You question, avoiding Lains slightly dejected face. He quickly recovered, resuming a decent posture and smiling fakely. "Of course. What for?" Damn, you knew he was going to ask. "Well uh.." you tried to make something up on the spot, something that would draw him in.
"I'll tell you the person who I'm interested in!" You said a little too enthusiastically. It was brilliant; how had you not thought of that before? Lain was interested in juicy gossip, and that was the perfect thing to trap him with. And well.. you weren't really lying.
Lain smiled a bit too widely; yes! He had gotten you to tell him without even resulting to undignified methods! It should have been an easy feat; especially considering he was your best, and only, real friend. He decided then and there how he would proceed; first, meet with you, find out the losers name you were so unfortunately infatuated with, next research the bastard, and decide whether a quick kill to the guy's reputation or more.. unseemly methods. This would be fun; you looked so adorable getting all flustered; Lain just wished it was because of him. But no worries, all in due time, he told himself.
You awaited his answer, a bit unnerved at the overly excited face Lain gave you. Perhaps he was a little too involved with his hobby of school gossip. "Sure, sounds good to me." He nodded, grabbing the hand close to your chest and giving it a tender pat.
"I'll see you then." A loud and high pitched noise rung, signaling the late bell.
You had hardly any time to decode the problem with Lain. That was quite.. an unusual response for someone who appeared so interested in your love affairs earlier. He appeared not nearly as enthusiastic as you expected him to be. Running, you wasted no time trying to get to the next class.
Lain on the other hand, spent his time wisely; this was like the perfect game to him. Who could it be? It was all so exciting. But right now, he needed to focus on his methods. Now... there was plenty of dirt on everyone enlisted in your school; Lain kept tabs on mostly everyone, making sure no one had any sick ideas to jeopardize your and his' relationship. Within his short list of sources, the boy would most certainly be able to track down the son of a bitch who dared to get in the way. Biding his time, Lain waited patiently within his next class, not bothering to send the dazed teacher a late slip as he entered class.
Finally, the bell allowing your class to end rang. It felt like you had been holding your breath the entire class. Okay.. today was the day. You had spent it anxiously awaiting this moment, and now it was time...
Making your way up the stairs to the top floor, you tried best to steady each thumping heartbeat. The pink letter was held tightly within your grasp. You switched from using the letter as a fan to holding it delicately. You couldn't help but sweat at the thought of the upcoming encounter. Reaching the door, you opened it to find Lain already hunched against from the roofs surrounding gate. It appeared he was furiously writing something in a small notebook. You called out to him, walking with jell-O for limbs. Your legs told you to move back to the door; anywhere away from the impending anxiety. But you walked firm, gripping the envelope. "Hey." You called out. "Hey yourself." Lain replied, giving his signature toothy smile. "Uh so-" "So," lain cut you off, "about that crush." He made sure to bring up the topic before you changed your mind on telling him; he wouldnt let this perfect chance get away. "Yeah," you wiped the sweat off your forehead. "So uh.. yknow its Uh, actually the thing is," You slowly moved the envelope towards Lain.
"This has everything in it so just read." You spoke swiftly, tripping over your words, just trying to push them out of your mouth. Lain snatched the envelope tearing it open. He looked incredibly eager, eyes focusing intensely. The boy ripped a corner with his teeth, slightly tearing at the letter. You cringed, your hard work and deep felt thoughts being manhandled into oblivion. Finally grabbing the letter out of its confines, Lain caught the whiff of a floral fragrance against his face. Confused at the scent, he looked down to register what he was looking at. This was.. your letter. The one you hid from him. The neatly penned hearts, and clean cursive that read his name. His name. It wasn't any others, not a theater kids, not that male classmates', only his. You looked to the ground, noticing the shift in Lain's body language. Carefully, Lain removed the slightly tarnished letter. Its contents shocked the boy to the core. It was a simple letter, nothing too flashy, no "I'd die at the thought of you with another person" 's or excruciating detail; but that's what drew Lain in. The simplicity of it all; Lain went out to get you, would run at the drop of a dime to get you anything. He'd kill for you; he'd never ask for the same, only that you'd cherish him. And you did; you were doing it now. Lain felt unspoken feelings; an emotion he could never articulate or share verbally. You on the other hand, were utterly terrified. 'What was he thinking? What will he say? Oh geeze he feels bad and is going to reject me!' Though you were further from the truth. At the end of the letter, within the neat and practiced cursive, you wrote: 'I understand this is a one sided predicament, and only ask for your friendship in return. In due time I will forget my feelings for you. I utterly promise to keep our friendship at the utmost importance; my affections will not tamper with either of our lives,' You wrote it in a fit of self pity and despair; if Lain looked hard enough past his own vision of bright pink, he might have noticed the dried tears sticking to the paper. Granted, he had always essentially "friendzoned" you; he never really gave you any other way to end the letter. Lain was nearly about to tackle your pacing form, until he read the small bit of print left at the bottom, right before you signed your name. 'Yet, if any chance, any chance at all, do you feel the same for me? Sincerely your friend and secret admirer.' You couldn't help but fiddle with your fingers, turning around to face away from Lain; you felt too embarrassed and too overwhelmed to watch his quiet form reject you. Your heavy breathing filled the silence. Well, good thing you picked a quiet and isolated place to get rejected; this would have traveled around the school fast if not for such past planning. Getting up, the boy shakily shoved the letter and envelope into his sweater. You shift your eyes back and forth, not quite wanting to turn around to face him. Unable to register the next few moments, Lain grabs you from behind, forcing you down onto the concrete. Before your face managed to his the floor, the boy managed to flip you over to face him. His hands broke the fall of your head. Despite his protection, you still felt your body crash against the ground. At first, the wind was knocked out of you; hardly being able to breathe, you grasped for Lain. The boy was busy with other ideas; he could not stop kissing you. From lips to nose to eyelashes, he assaulted you with affection. Grasping at your shirt, you finally felt air begin to enter your lungs. "Yes yes yes yes!" Lain shouted, unable to hold back his excitement. His forehead hit yours, bashing accidentally. You groaned loudly in pain, both at your limbs and forehead. Lain did the same, holding his head. He laughed, getting off of you and grabbing your arm to lift you up. You both sat down on the hard ground, massaging your temples. Lain recovered faster than you; within seconds he was back on you again, straddling your waist. He kissed you hard on the lips, a short affection that nearly bruised. "Yes to..." "Yes," Lain spoke between pecking your face with kisses. "Yes to everything. I've felt the same since forever. " he stopped to hold your face tightly. "Honestly, I expected this to be much more of a challenge. " Lain laughed, looking up at the sky. "I've been worried all day. I thought this," he pulled out the torn envelope, "was for someone else. Hell I almost ripped a few heads off." He laughed once more, his body shaking against you. Looking down, Lain brought your forehead against his own, not caring for the swelling pain that came with it. "I'd do anything to have received this; why didn’t you tell me earlier? You nearly had me unhinged. Who knows what I could've done." The words sounded like a threat but from the way he spoke them, Lain made them seem a tease. "What do you mean?" You questioned, looking away. He was so close; closer than you expected. This was not the way you thought things would turn out; you didn't know whether to feel overjoyed or overwhelmed. "Oh I've been sick with love for you for ages. I cant count the amount of times I've seen you from the window and in class longing, I always thought it was someone else," Lain kisses your neck, traveling down to your collar. "But it was me. Hell if you hadn't given this to me here and now I might've just kidnapped you myself." He said in a joking tone. But by the way Lain was gripping onto your shirt, you could feel his tension. "What..?" You could barely understand what was going on. But from his words, this all seemed bad; a good intention gone down the drain. "But now.." Lain held onto the back of your head, nuzzling your nose against his own.
"We can be together. Forever. That sounds fun, right? We'll never have to long or leave each others side. I don't expect you to kill for me, but I'll gladly get rid of a thousand men for you. " Lain kisses your cheek, leaving you in shock. You tried to squirm away, unsure if this was really the right choice of action. Lain refused to let you go, putting all of his strength into holding you down. "You can't take it back now. You told me you love me, you have to stay. You can't take it back. " a look of desperation crossed Lain's eyes, which almost made you feel bad. But quickly within an instant his trademark grin was brought back.
This wasn't what you signed up for.
