The Apocalypse AU I just couldn’t get out of my damn mind
“You have to promise me something...” Michael whispered, his breath hot against Castiel’s neck in the darkness.
“Anything,” Castiel immediately responded. The word tasted salty on his lips.
“You have to promise me,” Michael had to stop, to draw a deep, rattling gulp of breath before he could finish. “Promise me...You’ll shoot me.”
The silent tears that had been pouring down Castiel’s cheeks, the tears that he’d been struggling to hide from the alpha, finally wrenched a hoarse sob from his throat.
“Have to,” Michael insisted weakly. “You just promised me anything.”
Castiel shook his head, even though he knew Michael couldn’t see him. It wasn’t fair of Michael to ask him this, wasn’t fair for his alpha to leave him like this.
But none of it was fair, was it?
It wasn’t fair that Michael was bleeding out on the floor of a dark closet in an abandoned house, wasn’t fair that Raphael had been damn near gutted by a horde of mindless monsters just last week. Wasn’t fair that, as far as Castiel knew, all of his friends and family were dead, as good as devoured by that same bloodthirsty mob.
But most of all, it wasn’t fair that he and Michael had come so close, so close, to reaching the sanctuary past the outskirts of the city, out in the middle of nowhere. Days of careful planning and traveling, mindful vigilance and never ending lookouts—all ruined by sheer happenstance.
They’d simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time...
“Castiel!” Michael hissed. “Promise me,” another deep, wet breath, “that you’ll shoot me...in the head.”
“There’s only one bullet,” Castiel tried. “How will I protect—”
“Bullshit,” Michael rasped. “There’s three. Enough to...” he trailed off, but Castiel knew what he meant. Enough to shoot him in the head and make it the few remaining miles to the sanctuary.
“Please, Casti...” the final syllable broke off in another angry breath.
Castiel ran his hand through Michael’s dark hair. “Okay,” he finally whispered. “I promise.”
The breaths were coming more slowly now, more painfully.
“Do you remember...” a long pause, almost as if he’d fallen asleep mid-conversation, as he had so many times before, but then he continued. “That day by the quad...”
Now Castiel’s sob was almost a laugh. “You were the clumsiest alpha I’d ever seen.”
“Only...you,” Michael gasped. Only around you.
His unspoken request was clear.
Castiel spoke silently in the claustrophobic space of the closet, his gentle words competing with Michael’s final gulps of air. He told his alpha the story of them one final time, listened as he slipped away, breath by breath.
Then, when there were no more breaths, he brought the gun to Michael’s temple, drew a deep breath, squeezed his eyes shut. Then he pulled the trigger.
Dean’s head popped up at the sound of the gunshot.
“You hear that?” He asked Benny.
The giant beta looked up from the body he crouched over. After a moment he nodded, his eyes narrowed in concentration.
“Came from that house,” he drawled.
Dean’s mind raced. Had that been the couple that the men had been joking about before Dean and Benny got to them? The gang they’d just finished off—and yes, once upon a time Dean would have felt bad about killing actual humans, but these men had only been out for blood, adding to the mayhem by attacking innocent civilians trying to reach safety, which meant that they were just as bad as the real monsters out there—but they’d talked about an alpha and omega couple...
“Let’s go check it out,” he grunted. Benny nodded, imperturbable as ever as he wiped off his machete then fell into step behind Dean.
Dean tread up the walk toward the front door, careful to keep his senses alert in all directions. He paused at the closed door, drew a deep breath, then reached for the handle and pushed it open. He only released the breath when he found the living room empty.
Dean always knew that any closed door might be his last. He’d learned that early on when Ash...well, he hadn’t been so careful with a door they’d been opening. The damn monster inside had latched onto him before the poor guy could even let out a yell.
After working methodically to clear the first floor, Dean and Benny climbed the stairs quietly, pausing to listen every few steps.
As soon as they reached the top of the stairs, they could hear the muffled sobs. Dean followed the heart-wrenching sound down the hall to a closed bedroom door. Another breath held. He pushed the door open. Another breath released.
“Hello?” He called out as he stepped into the room. “Who’s in here?”
The sobs, which Dean could now tell were coming from the closet, faltered. Dean looked to Benny, who simply shrugged.
“I’m Dean, I’m from the sanctuary,” he tried again, staying clear of the closet door, just in case whoever was inside decided to shoot.
A sniffle, then, “My name is Castiel.”
“Anyone else in there with you?”
A long pause. “No, not anymore.”
“I’m gonna open the door,” Dean warned, then reached for the handle.
There, at the back of the deep closet, sat the omega, and curled up on the floor with his head in the omega’s lap, lay the alpha.
“He made me promise,” the omega—Castiel—whispered. Only then did Dean see the revolver in his hand. He glanced back down at the alpha, to the obvious hole in the temple, but his eyes skipped past it to the prominent bump of the omega’s tummy.
Pregnant. This omega was pregnant.
“Was he infected?” Benny asked from over Dean’s shoulder.
Castiel shook his head. “There were these men...” a sniffle escaped. “They attacked us.”
Dean nodded. “We took care of them downstairs.”
“Good,” the omega whispered. He looked back down at his alpha, down to where his blood-soaked fingers stroked through dark hair. “Michael was worried I might not make it, if they were still around.”
“Come on,” Dean stepped into the closet, held out a hand toward Castiel. “Let’s get you back to base.”
“I don’t know if I can,” the omega whispered. “I can’t just leave him...what about...” Sobs erupted from the omega’s throat as his body shook, trembled. “We were so close!”
Dean took another step forward and cautiously plucked the gun from the omega’s grasp. He’d learned the hard way that some people just couldn’t leave their loved ones behind, even if they were dead.
He handed the gun back to Benny, then slowly crouched down in front of Castiel.
“Michael would want you to be safe, right? He’d want you and the pup to go somewhere safe.”
Castiel nodded but didn’t speak, probably couldn’t speak past his tears.
“The sanctuary is set up in an old hospital, and we have some doctors and other people who can help you and your pup.” He tried to smile reassuringly. “We can keep you both safe.” A somewhat empty promise in the face of...everything, but it got the omega to finally look back at him in contemplation of his offer.
Castiel stared at him for a long moment, then finally nodded. Dean reached for the alpha’s body, gently pulling it from the omega’s grasp and laying it prone on the floor, then offered a hand.
“I don’t know if I can stand,” Castiel admitted, but still he reached for the alpha’s help.
He was a little wobbly on his feet for the first moment or two, but then Dean was wrapping a secure arm around his shoulders and guiding him toward the door, out of the abandoned house, down the empty street...away from Michael.
As soon as they reached the sanctuary, Castiel was pushed into a wheelchair and rolled away to the infirmary by a red-headed omega named Anna. She maintained a kind yet professional air as she checked his vitals and performed an ultrasound with some equipment they’d scavenged from what used to be the maternity ward.
Once she’d assured Castiel that both he and the baby were perfectly fine, something gave way in his body. He felt so worn down, exhausted by weeks of running and the day’s emotional toll. He managed to nod once, acknowledging that he’d understood, then he lay back in the bed and was asleep within seconds.
Two days later, Anna released Castiel from the infirmary under the watchful eye of a good-natured beta named Donna. She immediately whisked him off, promising to get Castiel “squeaky clean.”
Babbling away as she led Castiel down one hallway then another, she pointed out the different living areas and made sure to introduce Castiel to anyone they passed. He already knew that he wouldn’t remember any of their names, and they seemed to know it too.
He only tuned back in when he heard a name he recognized.
“Now Dean’s the boss ‘round here. Used to be special forces back in the day, so he’s got all sorts of survival skills. Sammy, that’s his younger brother, is his right-hand man. Benny too, I guess.”
Benny was the beta who’d been there earlier, Castiel’s disjointed mind supplied.
“Well, here’s the showers. Do you need help, or do you want me to wait outside?”
Castiel stared at her, uncertain. He knew that he didn’t need help; he was only four-and-a-half months along. But he dreaded the silence of an empty shower.
As if she could read his mind, Donna waved a hand. “I’ll just sit outside your stall if you need me.” She followed Castiel into the room, still chatting on, but left him to step into a curtained stall alone.
Ellen was the omega in charge of the kitchens, which was where Donna bustled Castiel off to after his shower. Ellen sat him down at one of the tables near her workstation and watched as he gobbled down three plates of rations.
“Usually you only get one serving per meal,” she explained over his eating. “But after what you’ve been through, plus pregnant! It’s a miracle you haven’t starved to death.”
“Just what I said,” Donna agreed from across the room where she was helping chop up food for dinner that evening.
“How far along are you?” The young alpha woman seated across from Donna asked. Her name was Jo, and she was Ellen’s daughter. Her mate, a beta named Ruby, was somewhere in the facility, but Castiel had yet to meet her.
Castiel tried to chew quickly so he could answer, but Ellen spoke up first. “I’d say just over 4 months?”
Nodding gratefully, Castiel shoveled another bite of food into his mouth.
Donna whistled lowly. “So we’ve got five months to go! This is exciting!”
Exciting might not have been the word Castiel would use, and from the look Ellen tried to hide, he could tell that she felt the same. He simply smiled blandly and kept eating.
“How’s it going in here?” Castiel heard from the door. He turned to find Dean standing there, but couldn’t find it in himself to provide much of an answer.
“Good, now that we’ve gotten some food in him,” Ellen answered for him. She rubbed the omega’s back as she grabbed his empty plate to wash.
“Good to hear!” Dean smiled encouragingly at Castiel. “Come on, Cas, I’ll show you where we’re setting you up.”
As Castiel—or Cas, as Dean had apparently dubbed him—followed the alpha through the halls, Dean explained the setup of the sanctuary.
“This place used to be a sanatorium, way back before it was a hospital,” Dean said. “Still got those old, high walls and everything. Before the outbreak, I used to drive past this place and think it was a survivalist’s wet dream.” He shrugged with a rueful smile. “When the shit hit the fan, I knew exactly where to go.”
Castiel nodded but still remained quiet.
“It’s all a bit much to take in, I know. Especially when...” Dean trailed off, a red blush staining his cheeks as he stopped himself from stating the obvious. “Anyways, we all keep sleeping quarters pretty close together. It’s just up here down this hallway.”
As they drew nearer to the living quarters, Castiel began to hear high, ringing voices, giggles, cries. When Dean made to turn the corner, Castiel just kept walking straight, headed down the hall to find the source of the ruckus.
He found a large common room where dozens of children and tiny little pups played, cried, laughed, all running or crawling around. It was the kind of mayhem that Castiel was well accustomed to.
There were about five bedraggled omegas running around in the midst of the children, but it was clear they were outnumbered. He wondered if any of them had ever worked with so many kids before.
He looked down to find a tiny little guy, maybe a year old, crawling toward him, drawn to that sweet, pregnant scent that put children at ease. With a smile, Castiel bent down and scooped up the pup. The small guy fit perfectly against his hip, a comforting weight he was used to.
“Looks like someone’s trying to make a run for it, huh?” He teased. The baby lunged forward and pressed a wet kiss to Castiel’s cheek. “Thank you!”
“You worked with kids before?” Dean asked from behind him.
Castiel glanced back over his shoulder, his small smile still in place. “Yeah, I’ve worked in daycare since I was big enough to hold a baby myself.”
He looked down at the baby, his mind whirling. He should go to whatever room they’d picked out for him and get some rest. But here, with a pup on his hip and the sound of the kids’ laughter in the air, it was almost like normal. It was like...like Michael would be at home waiting for him at the end of the day. It let him push everything away, just for now.
“Do you mind if I...?” He gestured into the room, and Dean nodded.
Castiel stepped into the mayhem, immediately drawing the attention of several children near the door. A young girl of about eight or nine jumped up to greet him.
“Is that a baby?” She poked his stomach.
“Indeed it is! His name is...” he turned to the child he held, “What’s your name again?”
Several children let out giggles as the girl cried, “No! In your tummy!”
Castiel smiled kindly. “Yes, that’s a baby too.”
“What’s its name?” Another small boy asked loudly.
“I don’t know. We haven’t decided on one yet.” His mind immediately skipped at the words. Hadn’t. They hadn’t decided on one.
Before he could dive down that spiral, Castiel pushed the sadness from his mind and kept a bright smile plastered on.
“Who wants to play a game?”
From the doorway, Dean watched in mild amazement as Castiel got all 32 of the children settled into a circle on the floor for something called “the silly game.” Rachel and Hanna, along with whatever volunteers they could wrangle in for the day, they were great. But watching Castiel now, it seemed obvious by comparison alone that the two women didn’t have the childcare experience this omega had.
Even the little children who hadn’t spoken so much as a word the entire time they’d been here were drawn into the game, given the opportunity to express wordless noises and actions. But the connection went both ways, obvious by the way Castiel had broken from his own wordless funk.
Dean had to admit that he’d been worried at the way Castiel had closed up, unwilling or unable to talk when they’d arrived back. Now, to see him taking lead and guiding the kids through a game...it was night and day.
Dean glanced back over his shoulder when he heard footsteps coming up the hall to find Sam striding toward him.
“Look at this,” he murmured, as if afraid to break the spell Castiel had set over the children.
“Well, at least we won’t have to find him a job.”
They both sighed as they thought of Brady, a high-level management guru in his former life. Unfortunately for him, high-level management gurus were not in high demand during an apocalypse.
“Who knows, maybe trash duty will be the one that sticks,” Dean muttered.
With a smirk, he turned away to follow Sam back down the hall so they could discuss the renovations they were starting in the basement.
Castiel watched as the last of the children wandered away hand-in-hand with her mother, enthusiastically relating the games she’d played and the stories she’d heard.
Well, Jessie was the last of the children who had parents here in the compound. Castiel turned to the other six children who remained and smiled warmly. Whether their parents were dead or simply missing...
“I think it’s about time to get washed up for dinner,” he spoke brightly.
Having sent the other workers away for some much-needed rest, he was left to lead the children—or in one child’s case, carry—down the hall to the bathrooms.
There was a pair of siblings, Leah and Micah, a pair of cousins, Brian and Amy, and two individual children, Ginny and Kaiden. Luckily most of them were above the age of five, making them sufficient enough to wash their hands and faces. Micah was three, but Leah seemed adept at helping him. Kaiden was the small pup who’d first greeted Castiel, and he’d stuck to the omega’s side since.
“Make sure you get underneath your nails,” Castiel reminded as he bent down and washed Kaiden’s hands with his free hand.
“My mommy used to do that with Micah,” Leah suddenly announced, her voice sad.
“She did?” Castiel encouraged.
“Yeah. You’re really good at it too.”
“You’re doing a pretty good job yourself,” Castiel nodded to where she helped her younger brother. A small smile lit her face, and she returned to her work.
When they stepped into the dining hall, Castiel found that most people were already seated and eating. After scanning the room for a minute, he figured out the system and guided the children toward the food line.
“Well, that didn’t take long!” Ellen grinned at him from behind the glass as he lined the children up single file to pass through.
Castiel shifted Kaiden from one hip to the other and smiled ruefully. “It’s what I’m used to, and if I keep busy...”
“I understand,” she said, her voice kind.
Castiel turned to find Dean coming up behind him with a smile.
“Dean!” Micah yelled and flung himself at the tall alpha’s legs.
“This little troublemaker causing any problems?” Dean asked, but his tone was teasing.
“No!” Micah cried indignantly. He spun around to Castiel. “Tell him I’ve been good!”
Castiel smiled gently. “You have all been wonderful.“ He grabbed a plate from the top of the counter and handed it to Micah. “Hold onto this tightly with both hands.”
He handed a plate to each of the children and sent them along to a nearby table.
“Here, let me help you with this,” Dean offered, as Castiel was left with two plates and an armful of baby.
“Thanks,” Cas smiled gratefully and turned away to join the children at their table with Dean following behind.
As they settled into eating their dinners, Castiel was keenly aware of the attention he drew from everyone, but especially the alphas.
He knew they couldn’t help it. Their instincts demanded they care for the pregnant omega, claim it. Castiel hid a shudder.
“Something wrong?” Dean asked, his brow furrowing.
Castiel shook his head. “I’ve just...I’ve never gotten so much attention from so many alphas. Michael was always there to...to...” he trailed off as he bit back the sudden tears.
His expression grave, Dean nodded. “If anyone gives you trouble, just let me know. We’re supposed to be a safe place, for everyone.”
“Thank you, Dean,” Castiel whispered as he tried to ignore the stares. But even trying his best, he couldn’t quite escape the dark gaze of the alpha sitting at a table in the back corner. Castiel shuddered, obviously uneasy, and the nameless alpha smirked triumphantly.
Best to stay far away from that one.
So I had this idea over two years ago, and I kind of just let it fall to the wayside. But then recently, it popped back into my head, and I just had to write it. There is more than this, but because of Tumblr settings, I’m splitting it up into multiple posts. I’ll also be posting it on my Ao3! Let me know what you think. Cheers!
