Epicly crazy year: 2012 Year ender note! LOL! >:)))
Well I missed my year ender note last year, so as for this year, here it is.
The first two months of this year was a struggling phase. And It was bittersweet. I call this year "The epicly crazy" year cos of some events. I went out of town, got drunk, met new people, applied for US internship, dumped some people, went on a few dates, and got really crazy.
And for some unhealthy and self pre-cautious reasons, I'm 9 months single. Practically it was my choice, (SO MALI HINALA NYO! LOL!) cos I don't have the heart to be in a relationship nowadays, second, my heart belongs to someone I used to know (definitely not my ex! Get over it! LOL!) And third, I have no time for romantic engagements and arguments (ROFL). But I know you all would like to know my "loveabouts" so I'll share it to you guys.
I'm not as fearless like Mayor Oioi so WALANG namedrop na magaganap!
Bahala kayong manghula LOL!
"How can it be so wrong when it feels so right."
Mid-quarter last year, I met Superman. Everything was subtle, smooth. We got along very well. My hero, my nirvana, my peace of mind, my sanctuary. We never had dull moments together. The reason why I went back to school. My motivation why I'm always competitive. Why I'm striving to be the best. The person who made me realize that there's more to life. But the happiness didn't last cos of some things in the way. S became so busy with work, and I went back to school. I was devastated and had to decide whether to let go of what I feel or stay. Things got worse and I realized its about time for me to be happy with someone else.
"Sometimes you have to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
Then D came. I didn't entertained her at first cos I'm in love with S that time. But she was persuasive and I thought that maybe I should give it a try. So we went on a few dates, and I was happy about it. Though, I was confusingly had this guilt that maybe I should talk to S about this but we never had the chance. Our relationship was happy and conventional, we never had a serious fight, we're always together, we laugh, we cry, it was almost perfect. But at the back of my mind I know I still have feelings for S but tried to control it for the sake of D knowing it would be unfair for her if I blow it all off. Then a life changing event happened, and our relationship went to the roughest part. We stayed together, hoping it will be okay soon, but a month after, I caught her cheating on me. We can't fix things so we have decided to call it all off. Few months after, a friend told me that D's been cheating on me few months before we actually broke up. We never had the chance to talk about this and I would never want to talk to her about this anymore. My only regret was, I really don't know if I have loved her like really fall in love with her, maybe I just thought I was in love, or is it my ego that was hurt.
"When a person leaves, they're not the same person when they come back."
Two days after D and I broke up, S and I started talking again. I explained what happened, and yeah, my feelings ragingly rushed...again! We saw each other, but it was not as happy as what it is before. But we both knew that things will never work out for the both of us so we managed to stay friends until this very day. S will always be the love of my life. My love limit. My dream, my reality, the one that got away.
And so as my love quests continue, I started dating and talking to people again..
There's A, well she's really nice and cute and neat. She caught my attention, but I think it won't work.
Ofcourse, Z! She's the most makulit! And she's really vocal about what she feels and I find her funny but I can't see myself with her. -.-"
Yeah, J. We met last summer and it was quite cool. She's nice and cute. But I think it will take sometime to patch things up with her.
And there's K. She was my friend way-way back. We're happy talking to each other. Taking things as they come and just like what she said, Be open to opportunities. :) my confidant, a hero in disguise, always there to help me get through my shit.
And P, well we click. It's not everyday that you'll meet someone that you'll get along with very well. Yeah, I like her, and she's really special. But we're both not ready to commit and we're okay with it. She taught me how to take care of myself more and I'll always be thankful for that. I'm really comfortable with her. Goofing around with her. Talking things with sense like books, events and even politics (lol). I'll always be happy to have her around.
As for now, I'm dating and talking to people. I'm trying to make my life as normal as possible. It may look like its complicated but loving me would be an extra challenge now that you have read this. I may be ready or not to be in a relationship next year, but yeah, I'm clueless. Who knows I might meet or have already met the next one. I'll keep my eyes open.
Bitterly sweet as it may is, but I'm happy that I got this year through. I will always be thankful for all the people I've met, those who secretly hates me LOL!, those people I consider now as my so-called friends (AL AL NYO! LOL!), my bestfriends, my ever loyal friends, my family.
Thank you for such a great year. And now as I'm facing the new challenges of 2013, I know I am blessed.
My only promise for this coming year: I will only let one heart to fall in love with me. Just one. ;)
