Just messy thoughts
You know one thing I realized?
People won't take a stand with you unless you're claims stand with a bigger, more influential group.
How do I know this?
Well, we talked about the SOGIE Bill once, a bill derived from the Philippines and is still in the process of being established, it stands for Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity and Expression
I'm pretty sure you get the gist over here.
Our class was divided into two groups; one that stood up for the SOGIE Bill, and the other that didn't.
I was with the defendants. We were defending the SOGIE Bill. The talk transpired to about that one story where a transgender woman (MTF) managed to get a poor janitress kicked out due to a misunderstanding on each other's parts.
My fellow classmates began to feel overwhelmed, because they didn't know which side to take, because most of them believed it was wrong. They were being forced into a side they didn't understand, nor wanted to be on.
To say the least, I was hurt, because their way of thinking is basically implementing the fact that all they were saying were things they grew up hearing.
"We say what we're taught, we do as you teach" it was a poster on the wall of my classroom, it's words were left engraved in my head. A dull note, nothing but a sour taste in my mouth.
Sometimes, when you feel like you're the only one standing for your claim, you begin to question yourself, your way of thinking, especially when it's a battle of opinions between you and a huge group.
You begin to forget what you were fighting for, you begin to scramble away, to scuttle back to a hole you dug to hide yourself in, your fear clouding your ability to think. You begin to ponder if you're in the wrong here, their words begin to repeat themselves consistently in your head, like a lesson being taught to a child in order to implement that style of thinking.
What I felt during that moment was fear, hopelessness, anger, and exhaustion. All their claims were the same things I grew up hearing, they exhausted to me to no end, all the same opinions. There was one sentence that struck me though, one sentence I got angry at, but didn't talk back for.
"Christ created you for who you are, don't change that, what you have now is what you are"
How can words so uplifting suddenly become so emotionally draining? How could you use Christ's words against people when they're meant to bring people together?
I just need someone's opinions on the SOGIE Bill, please.. I'm so tired.... I'm basically questioning my own self-worth now...