I hope this isn't TMI and doesn't come off as creepy (it probably kinda is), but I just felt the need to tell you how much your writing has helped me truly discover and understand myself, for the longest time, I had a lot of sexual frustrations because I could never actually get off no matter how much horny I was and how hard I tried, but reading your fics has opened my eyes to aspects I never knew about myself. I orgasmed for the first time thanks to your writings (Ch.5: Static on the Lines BTW), and I was crying so hard by the end of it. And by reading the sexual encounters between the reader and Buck, I also discovered that I'm more of a dom, just like her-because up until that point, I've assumed a submissive role with my partners- which improved my sexual life so much. Not to mention that I found your blog when I was in a bad place in my life, battling depression and a lot of survivor's guilt, I saw myself mirrored in Bucky, and the way you wrote him and handled his trauma with such care and love transcended the screen and pierced me right in the heart, reading yhhmsgm was a coping mechanism for me, and reading Bucky's scenes with his therapist was one of the reasons that made me finally go to therapy. And the way you wrote Steve to be so loving of Bucky, but making mistakes and hurting him unintentionally, while still trying to do his best, made me reach out to my best friend who'd kinda hurt me in the past and whom I pushed away to spare myself more pain, we talked things out and we are repairing our friendship. It's so crazy, sometimes I feel like you wrote this fic specifically to help me, it might be a silly notion, but I'm forever grateful to the universe that you were born, that you fell in love with Bucky, and that you decided to write fanfiction, and that I stumbled upon your work. If you ever decide to continue writing the sequel, I'll be the first person to read it, and if you never do, then I'm just glad that I got to experience your beautifully crafted story, and know that you were one of the reasons my life changed for the better. I love you ❤️.
Okay I’m actually crying right now. Thank you so much for taking the time to send this. Phew. Trying to absorb it all.
First— CONGRATS ON THE ORGASM and holy cannoli what an honor 😌 And with that first little taste of smut, too! Ugh, I have a whole new appreciation for that chapter now lol.
The type of smut/dynamics I write are… less common, I think? And that’s a shame, because I’ve heard over and over again from readers who are like “omg, I didn’t know I needed this.” I’m so happy you were able to find it and use it to unlock that part of yourself. 😭❤️
On a more serious note, I am so sorry you were able to relate to Bucky’s struggles. I’ve said before that it was mortifying to realize how much of myself I poured into both Bucky and reader, and that if you know these characters, then you know me. Writing this fic was a massive coping mechanism and escape for me, and I feel beyond blessed to know it has helped other people, too.
There’s a lot to be said for seeing our own struggles mirrored by our favorite characters, and then reading about those issues being handled with love and care. It’s so easy to look at Bucky Barnes and understand he deserves tenderness, but much harder to think the same way when it comes to how we treat ourselves. But when you get to read his thoughts, feelings, and reactions, and see they’re not so different from your own… it becomes so much easier to bridge that gap and show yourself the same kindness.
(And don’t get me started on how appalled I was when I finally realized so many interactions between these characters were just me learning to love and forgive different parts of myself…. yeah, was not ready for that one lmao)
I joke about the healing power of fanfiction sometimes, but it’s 100% real. And I’m honored that my fanfic in particular was able to do all of this for you.
Thank you for reaching out. Thank you for reading. Love you forever ❤️❤️❤️
