#yifftwiceplease

[ssunspotted]

@yifftwiceplz #i bet it feels so good to stretch your neck out like this

it does! Itdid.

[absylphe]

eavesdrop (feel free to include dirk or dont im not a cop)

I Feel Like I Take More Liberties Than I Should And Make More Assumptions Than I Should And I Feel Like I Should Be Reprimanded For It Rather Than Rewarded With Friendship

Each And Every Time That Tiny Kernel Of Insight I Intend To Provide Ends Up Rolling Up Dense Inches Of Conjecture And Observation Until The Tiny Snowball I Had Meant To Playfully Pelt A New Friend With In The Park With Becomes The Size Of An Oversized Snow Man's Disembodied Ass Crushing Him Under The Weight Of My Invasive Dissertations

(Pardon The Sudden Crass Language But I Think Dave Would Get A Kick Out Of That Metaphor For The Record)

And There I Go Making Assumptions Again Because I Have A Single Mode And It Is Overthinking Everything Until My Sponge Dries Out Or My Pusher Stops Beating

Whichever Happens First

Doubt Spiral Aside I Am Relieved That He Is Beginning To Relax And Feel A Bit More Comfortable

I Always Worry That I Am Perhaps Too Familiar

And That If I Am Too Familiar It Is For The Wrong Reasons

"A Fondness For Striders" Feels Like Such A Dismissive Over Generalization But The Shared Characteristics Of Our Collective Upbringings Always Make Striders Feel More Real To Me Initially Than Other Humans Do Somehow And I Think That Alone Is Enough To Put Me At Ease Early On When I Am Normally More On Guard

Seeing The Fierce Devotion He Has For His Brother Makes Me Wonder If Porrim And I Could Have Been Close If Time Had Permitted It

I Wonder If I Had Been Made Human If Anyone Could Have Mustered Such A Selfless Love For Me And I Find Myself Dissatisfied With The Conclusion

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I Don't Know

Of Course I Have Heard All Of The Things He Has Said About Himself And All Of The Things That Dave Has Mentioned But It All Seems Rather Excessive

And I Know That We Have A Lot In Common And I Think It Would Be Condescending To Assume That He Has Not Noticed

I Anticipated It Even Before We Really Spoke Just Given How Dave Talked About Him

The Thought I Keep Going Over In My Mind Is That It Is Not Really The Monstrosity Part Of His Possible Tyrannical Future That Terrifies Him

But The Maintained Integrity Of His Current Level Of Cognizance That Rings Throughout That Future

That Is To Say

It Is Not The Idea So Much That He Could Be Corruptible So Much As It Is That He Already Is Or He Already Believes That He Is

It Is Not The Dread That In The Future He Will Become A Monster So Much As The Dread That In The Future He Will Still Be Himself

Which In The Context Of This Hypothetical Is The Same Thing

(And As Always I Have To Make It About Myself)

Because Of Course I Resonate With That

I Am A Literal Physical Biological Parasite

I Have No Choice In That Matter Anymore And I Have Not For Nearly Half Of My Life Now

The More I Give In To It The More Those Urges And Thoughts And Mannerisms Consume Me

The More I Feel I Am Correct And That My Guidance Is Objectively For The Best

But How Much Of That Is A Mutation That Influences Me Toward Behavior That Prioritizes Resource Hoarding And How Much Of That Is Just Me

The Real Me That Sleeps Under Pangs Of Hunger And Purposeful Deprivation Too Weak To Exert Itself

Whenever He Alludes To The Perceived Inevitability Of That Future For Himself I Just Can Not Help But Think Of The Times I Have Overindulged And Become A Creature I Still Cannot Bear To See Glimpses Of In My Own Reflection

I Think He Must Think Me Terribly Naive Or A Terrible Busybody To Involve Myself So Much In His Business But My Heart Aches To Think How Much His Mind Must Race Given How Much He Observes And How Little He Speaks

The Echo Chamber Of One's Own Mind Is An Inhumane Place To Flog Oneself

Over Perceived Flaws And Actions Considered But Not Taken No Less

As Hypocritical As It Is To Say For Someone Like Me

Selfish Though It May Be I Hope He Will Be Free To Travel One Day

I Would Like To See The Kind Of Pottery He Would Make