Dec 4, 2025
You know what hurts? Having discipline and me and others enduring my own bullshit just to end up riiiiigh at the start.
#why have enemies when i exist#I don't need anyone to set me back when I CAN DO THAT JUST FINE THANK YOU#this disaster mocktail is my own fault and i seem to enjoy slamming it down instead of sipping slowly#btw this is not abt drinks its a metaphor and i am tired and just wish i did some things differently and did not waste my and others time#my bullshit preceedes any attempt at getting better but any subsequent attempt at getting better is preceeded by some stupid ass move#not sure if im just heartless or am so far removed from the concept of me having an impact on my own life that this sack of shit surprises m#lile lale it is what it is i can just try n get better *nods*#better being whatever i thought i Achieved before but ig all i Achieved was a big fat NOTHIIIING#so technically im in the negativr now and i gotta get back to nul#sigh#i hate having a whole ass convo w myself in the tags#thats a big fat load of bullshit that is my inner monologue#BUT HEEEEY AT LEAST IT'S NOT PSYCHOSIS RIIIIGHT RIIIIGHT#also i hate that it feels like.... a test. i can mess it up#but will i? based on my previous experiences? i should not#but alas only time will tell and i will bear the consequences of my actions#yiioooooiiipe#krc rambles