you just noticed a tiny mouse 🐁 has a tiny house 🏠 right outside yours, identical to your own house, you both come out at the same time and notice each other
the mouse 🐁 is wearing tiny versions of the clothes you wear and you realize hey that's me as a mouse 🐁 wyd
Orion is about to tell you about their latest hyperfixation with hand motions and a crazed look in their eyes; Boyan is just enjoying seeing you fall into the trap of triggering his fiancé to infodump and may or may not enjoy aforementioned infodumps. Hopefully you do, too. Your sanity is about to depend on it.
We're gremlins on our own, and now we're teaming up... coming to you as married this summer.
ID in alt text btw!
Boy actually likes the custom sona I got from CovePalms for him a lot! We're both wearing our favorite shirts here, his has faded all the text and something tragic happened to mine probably around the time I deconverted because it was a mission trip shirt (but it still fits my ADHD ass so aptly...yours truly really has been losing luggage since coming to this godforsaken planet in 1998...)
I swapped our eye colors to make it accurate to our human eye colors, and boy got a haircut, so I gave his sona a rouche mane to match.
It's been a long time since I've drawn for myself. I have been feeling very stressed and actually cutting out time for myself to draw anyway has been so helpful. After boy put the sketch as his pfp, I had to color it and send him the update.
Here goes; much to everyone else's chagrin and my delight, this is a long post!
1. Are you named after anyone?
Yeah, my great-grandmother. Luckily it's a gender-neutral name so even though I'm trans, I kept it.
2. Last time you cried?
I was playing Dark Souls until midnight recently (last weekend iirc) fighting the Gaping Dragon and my partner was being sardonic in his jokes as usual but I was tired and started crying because I tilted and thought he was disparaging me/frustrated with me for dying to the boss so often with the constant "OK yeah, just...don't dodge!! Hahaha!!" and stuff. Luckily he apologized and helped me pull myself back together. I'm kind of a crybaby, to be honest.
3. Do you have/want kids?
I have no kids. I am really indecisive on the latter. My partner really wants kids, and would prefer to have a child with my genes; when he said he wanted a biological child I suggested surrogacy and sperm donation so that there would be humans with his genes and he was like, "no... I want them to have your genes..."
I don't dislike children at all considering I literally work with them in my career. I think they are delightful little people and it brings me joy to see how they grow and change. However, I also really like having boundaries in my life where I get undisturbed 8 hours of sleep every day and only interact with said children for 40 hours a week; I would have to give that up for 24/7 child duty if I became a parent. Also knowing myself and recommendations from my doctors, waking up every 2-3 hours to feed a baby would literally make me suicidal. In the words of my OB/GYN: "it's not a matter of if you get postpartum depression, given your mental health history, but when." Also where I currently live is extremely hostile to pregnant bodies and I would like very much not to risk death or jailtime and exorbitant fines/legal fees just to have a biological kid. 20% of all pregnancies result in miscarriage (especially early on, before the person knows they're pregnant) and I can be tried for a felony if literally anyone suspects or alleges it was an "abortion," and they get paid to do so. There is no medical difference or test to tell if pregnancy loss is one or the other. It's a whole thing.
At the same time, I work in a Title I school and I know and love many delightful foster children I would love to share my knowledge and resources with to improve their lives. The state is hostile to children, too, and those kids don't have a choice about living here the way adults do, since they're with the state department of children and family services. Our local DCFS is woefully in a perpetual crisis because they discriminate against queer and non-xtian households in fostering and adoption; the ratio of foster children to available homes is 40:1 here. I'm very passionate about this, and one way to put my money where my mouth is is to go into foster care. However, I would need my support network if I made that leap to parenthood and my family doesn't support fostering ("what if their trauma/issues are so bad it endangers you!!") and insists on biological children. Oh well.
TL;DR I'm on the fence regarding the future and if it includes children and in what form, but I know I definitely don't want any biological children right now. I've always thought about adopting or fostering an older child.
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
No, I generally mean what I say. I have a hard time identifying sarcasm in others (thanks autism) so I generally avoid it. The only time it appears is in self-aggrandizing humor in lieu of self-deprecating humor (i.e., "I am the pinnacle of grace!" when I trip) to try to fix my mental health. Currently positive effects, I highly recommend.
5. What's the first thing you notice about people?
Hair and teeth. It's always been hair. I don't make eye contact if I don't know you very well but I generally look at people's heads to make it look like I am, and stare at mouths to lip-read a bit because of auditory processing issues. If you get a haircut or dye your hair, it takes me a bit to realize who you are, especially if it's a radical change (thanks autism for the prosopagnosia.) I scared my classmate in high school when I noticed that his two front teeth were pared down to be even with the others at the dentist. Apparently, no one else noticed? He freaked out when I asked him, "Hey why are your front two teeth shorter than they used to be?" I also respond to surprise significant hair changes in my loved ones...not that well. I got mad at my partner for shaving his head down to a buzzcut because it was such a drastic and sudden change, and was distressed to tears by my dad shaving the beard he'd had for 20 years.
6. What's your eye color?
Really deep chocolate brown. Not dark enough to be almost black, but much darker than any of the hazel hues my other family members have.
7. Scary movies or happy endings?
If it's not Jordan Peele, I'm going with happy endings. I'm really sensitive to gore, and vomited when watching the Aliens films.
(CW: Alien spoilers, death)
I liked the Alien franchise, but I puked in the popcorn when watching Prometheus during the improvised C-section to remove the alien in the protagonist's uterus scene and my brother was pissed. His friend helped me out of the movie theatre and rubbed my back while I couldn't stop shaking and puking and reassured me that he felt nauseated at that part too and personally wasn't mad at me for reacting like I did. I was crying about embarrassing myself in front of my brother and his friends. It brings tears to my eyes again to remember how gentle he was even though he was a teenage boy. He stopped talking to me after he became addicted to opiates, he was too embarrassed to tell me. He disappeared in the Russia-Ukraine war, presumed dead. He was a great person. Damn, crying again. Like I said, I'm a crybaby.
8. Special talents?
I'm told I'm a good cook. I failed o-chem once and withdrew the second time because I had a massive panic attack before my final exam, but at least I took away some skills from that. I use my knowledge of organic reactions and interactions between organic molecules to maximize flavors in coffee, curry, and other edible things I create.
I'm also told I'm a skilled 2-D artist. My mom saved this shoe I drew and shaded by smudging my pencil in 1st grade. The art teacher sent it home and told her I should go to art school. I even made a college art portfolio and took commissions for a bit, but when it came to having to do art for a grade or for money, it felt like my creativity and desire to create would just shut off under the pressure. I just do art as a hobby, now.
9. Where were you born?
In a hospital via emergency C-section in the middle of a thunderstorm like a badass.
10. What are your hobbies?
Drawing, embroidery, puzzles, reading non-fiction, tabletop and video games.
11. Have any pets?
Two little papillon dogs. One is a teenage boy, the other is an elderly lady.
12. What sports do you play or have you played?
Currently, I run. I recently got 2nd place in my age group in a 5k race this past fall. In the past, I did track and field, tennis, swimming, and kickboxing. I tried my hand at yoga and HEMA, but didn't stick with it. I got kicked out of ballet and basketball as a kid for being ADHD and autistic which made me awful at following directions and being a "team player," respectively; it's also why all my sports listed above are individual. 😅
13. How tall are you?
5' 6" when I don't slouch; I'm working on it!! I'm a short king.
14. Favorite subject in school?
It's a tie between science and art. If you read my other paragraphs, this seems obvious in retrospect.
15. Dream job?
I'm in it: dyslexia and reading interventionist! I do what I love (learning about the brain and how people learn and process things!!) and teach people how to do what I love (reading!! also learning about the brain!!) and it gives me meaning to serve others but still actually make good money above the average for people in my area with my degree and education.
Keeping the burnout at bay (more like putting out a forest fire with a bucket) by getting back into art again. A watercolor of the Arizona desert on a watercolor paper postcard.
