[ 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐲 ]
𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝: for my muse to slowly fall alseep on your muse
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: seokjin x yoongi
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2198
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ( x )
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: ahh this turned longer than expected, and into self-indulgent yoongi softness, spoiling, and fluff! thank you so much nonny for the request! i hope you enjoy ♥
It was after four in the morning when the bedroom door finally creaked open and Yoongi carefully stepped inside. He took care to shut the door behind him as quietly as he could, always cautious not to wake Jin who’d gone to bed hours before - not as if Jin could sleep anyway, knowing Yoongi wasn’t there. Yoongi had been working himself to the bone to prepare for this comeback. The nights seemed to drag longer and Yoongi was coming home later and later. At first, Jin would stay up to talk to him about it, but that only served to annoy Yoongi and lead to fights between them. Instead, he tried to go to bed, trusting that Yoongi would come home and rest when he was ready. But no matter how many times Jin told himself to just trust him and leave him be, he still worried, still couldn’t sleep. There was a part of him that couldn’t stand the thought of Yoongi alone in his studio, hunched over his equipment, balling up pages and pages of yellow notebook paper and living off coffee and the stray bagel that Jimin would sometimes bring him. Jin worried for him. He knew Yoongi put the pressure of the world onto his shoulders, and he wished there was more he could do. He felt useless, both as a hyung and as a friend.
As Yoongi pattered around the room, trying his best to be quiet, Jin could hear still hear his frustrations with every breath. He huffed as he shook his jacket off, tossing it on the nearby chair; sighed as he wriggled out of his black skinny jeans, kicking them under his bed. For a moment, he stood there, standing in the middle of their shared bedroom with his head in his hands, and Jin wondered if maybe he should say something. He was supposed to be asleep. He always pretended he was asleep when Yoongi would get back. He didn’t want Yoongi to feel guilty for keeping him up or for waking him, so he always covered his head with his blankets and pretended to be sound asleep whenever Yoongi would return at three, four, five in the morning. But tonight felt different. Jin could feel the heaviness from across the room, could see the tension in Yoongi’s shoulders and back as he stood, facing away from him, head in his hands.
Finally, he seemed to shake himself out of it, crawling into his own bed beside Jin’s, and tucking into the covers. He grabbed for his phone charger, plugging his in his phone, and setting it down on the nightstand between them before sighing again, staring up at the ceiling, arms folded across his chest.
“D-do you want to talk about it?” Jin braved. He really didn’t want to cause a fight, but he felt as if he needed to do something. Yoongi was clearly struggling, and would suffer in silence if he had it his way. But Jin just could not stomach that.
“No. Go to sleep, hyung.” Yoongi’s voice was gravely, thick with exhaustion, an edge of warning in his tone. Jin sighed, relenting. He knew pushing Yoongi too much could backfire, that he’d take his concern as intrusive. Still, he couldn’t bear the thought of Yoongi laying just mere feet away from him, stuck inside his own head.
“Do...do you want to come here?” Jin asked --- a last, desperate resort. He never did this sort of thing with the other members apart from Jungkook, and even then, that had been years ago back when their baby was still just a baby, so far from home and missing his mom so, so terribly much when the nights got long and the days so stressful. Still, he needed to do something.
He expected Yoongi to scoff, to laugh, to respond with a, “You’re fucking kidding, right?”
What he was not expecting was for Yoongi to sigh, toss aside his blankets, stand up, and walk over to his bed. Jin hadn’t really planned this far ahead and it took a moment for his brain to play catch up. When he finally realized what he’d done, and what Yoongi had just done, he lifted his blanket and watched as Yoongi slotted himself beside him on the mattress. When Jin’s mind finally begun to catch up more, he wrapped the blankets around them both, tucking Yoongi under the covers as best he could.
“I can’t do this, hyung.”
Jin held his breath, “What do you mean?”
“Nothing I do is right. I’ll never get it done in time for comeback. This one song is just kicking my ass so hard and PDogg needs it completed by the end of the week. I had to scrap the entire thing and start from scratch this evening and it just sucks so much. I don’t think I’ll have it done in time and then what are we supposed to do? I still need to figure out the vocal arrangement and….”
“Hey,” Jin placed a hand on Yoongi’s shoulder, “You’ve got this, okay? If you need some more time, talk to PDogg, I’m sure he’ll understand and will help. Whatever you need, we’re all here to help you. You’re not doing this alone, you know. Namjoon and Hobi would be happy to help you….”
“They’re working on their own assignments, I can’t burden them just because I can’t figure out how to handle mine.”
Jin knew that would be Yoongi’s response. Sighing, he gave the shoulder a gentle squeeze as he tried to work through the words in his head. Scolding never worked with Yoongi, he’d always just buckle down even harder. It was difficult sometimes, to be a hyung to him. Jin still wasn’t sure how best to be. He knew Yoongi needed someone desperately, but trying to find that balance was hard. It was much different with the maknae line, and even Joonie and Hobi. Jin could fix them with a look and they’d listen right up. Sometimes it worked on Yoongi for small things, like telling him to make sure to eat his meals and call his mother and not interrupt when Jin was speaking. But for bigger things, things Yoongi took so personally, it could become a fight. And Jin knew they were both too exhausted for that.
“Stop that,” Jin settled for scolding as gently as he could, “You know that’s not how any of us see it, right? It’s okay to ask for some help. You always put so much on your shoulders, especially preparing for comebacks. You don’t have to do that alone, Yoongi-ah. You’ve got all of us here wanting to help you, if you’d just let us.”
Yoongi sighed, wearily, “I don’t know how, hyung.”
“You don’t have to. Tonight, just rest, okay? And tomorrow, we can talk to Namjoon and Hobi, alright? But right now, roll over onto your stomach.”
“Hyung....” Yoongi whined.
“I don’t want to hear it. Roll over. I’m rubbing your back.”
Yoongi rolled his eyes, grumbling a bit, but listened, much to Jin’s surprise. He settled on his stomach, arms tucked underneath his head. “Are you going to get on with it?” He snarked.
“Yah, ungrateful!” Jin smacked him on the ass as he sat up, getting a bit more comfortable. Yoongi chuckled and Jin felt the weight in his chest unclench for the first time that night.
“Yah, you’re supposed to be rubbing my back, not hitting me!”
“And you’re supposed to be thanking your hyung for taking such good care of you and not being a brat.”
Jin ignored the eyeroll, straddling Yoongi’s legs and began to run his hands across his back, feeling the tension and strain. Yoongi really does carry the weight of the world on his shoulders sometimes…. Jin began kneading the kinks in Yoongi’s back, working away the tightness in his shoulders. He could feel Yoongi begin to melt under his touch, the tension giving way and allowing him to finally begin to relax; and when Yoongi sighed, for the first time in too long, it was not from sheer exhaustion or frustration.
Jin continued to massage the tension in Yoongi’s back until he could see his eyes growing heavy. Gently, he slipped his hand under Yoongi’s back cotton t-shirt, and began to lightly trace across Yoongi’s back with his fingertips, drawing elaborate shapes and patters against the bare skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. It was something he had always done for Jungkook, something his mom had always done for him. He figured tonight, Yoongi needed the comfort. When was the last time someone had been so gentle with him? The thought made Jin’s heart ache.
“You’re going to be okay. You’ve just hit a bit of a roadblock, and what do you always say about hitting roadblocks?”
“Accelerate.”
“Accelerate. Exactly. You’re going to be okay, Yoongi. We’re all here for you and you don’t have to face anything alone. No one is going to be mad at you for asking for help, or see you as a burden. You could never be a burden to any of us. You take such good care of everyone, Yoongi. You always put everyone else before yourself. Let us take care of you for a change, okay? Let us help you. You don’t even have to ask. Just let us.”
Yoongi sighed, and Jin could almost hear the cogs in his head turning before he finally said, “Okay. Okay. Tomorrow, I’ll talk to Namjoon and PDogg and we’ll see what we can do.”
“Thank you.”
“You worry too much, hyung.”
“Yoongi there isn’t going to be a single day that I don’t worry about each and every one of you, get that through your head.”
“Jin-hyung?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
Jin nodded, continuing to trace patterns across Yoongi’s back, reveling in the goosebumps and taking time to attend to every knot and scar. He could never say it outloud, wasn’t even sure he could find the proper words, but he hoped through his touch, Yoongi knew he was beautiful. The thought of him not knowing worried Jin. He needed Yoongi to know that he was beautiful and good and strong and that whatever roadblocks were in front of him, he could push through. He needed Yoongi to know these things, but for tonight, in this moment, he hoped his touch was enough.
Jin watched as Yoongi’s eyes blinked heavily until they finally shut, lashes resting on cheekbones. He continued to trace patterns across his back, needing to give Yoongi as much comfort as he could in that moment; and when Yoongi shivered and let out a whimper when Jin traced over a sensitive spot, Jin couldn’t help but smile.
“Alright, Yoon. You get some good sleep, okay? We’ll face tomorrow when it comes.”
Jin withdrew his hand, snuggling back under the blanket, careful not to disturb Yoongi who was now fully sleeping peacefully beside him. Jin figured this must be his first peaceful night’s rest in over a month. At least he gave him that. Jin settled back against his pillow, his own eyes growing heavy with sleep. In the morning, he knew Yoongi would be gone, back to the studio to work, and they wouldn’t talk about tonight. It would be as if this moment had never happened, and Jin supposed he’d have to be okay with that. At least for a few moments though, he’d gotten to comfort Yoongi. And at least, for tonight, he’d get to fall asleep to his soft snores and not muffled, frustrated tears. At least for tonight….
Jin’s alarm blared too early. He let out a groan, moving to grab his phone off the nightstand, only to find a sleeping body curled up against his, leg wrapped around his own. Jin froze for a moment, the realization hitting him suddenly that Yoongi had stayed.
“God, would you turn that fucking thing off,” Yoongi whined, tucking his head against Jin’s chest, “I swear to god hyung….”
“Alright, alright,” Jin chuckled, finally getting a hand on his phone and shutting off the blaring alarm. “Happy?”
“Mmm.”
Jin rolled his eyes fondly, while Yoongi nuzzled closer. Jin figured they could spare a few more moments before the day’s schedule. He pulled the blankets back up around them, and softly swept the hair from Yoongi’s forehead, brushing it back and tucking it behind his ear.
“I hope you know you fucked up, hyung.”
Jin froze. Had he? Maybe he had overstepped. All of this was completely uncharted territory. He knew Yoongi had his comfort zones and he’d never, ever purposefully do anything to push him outside of those comfort zones. Maybe he had crossed some boundaries. All he’d wanted to do was comfort him in the only way he felt that he could in that moment. Was Yoongi really upset with him? Jin felt his stomach drop.
“How...how so?” He ventured.
“Well,” a lazy smile spread across Yoongi’s face, “You know I’m going to expect this kind of pampering every night now.”
“Brat,” Jin poked him in the ribs, “Come home from the studio at more reasonable hours and we’ll see.”
