Some lyrics I've been revising and reworking for a while, they cover some of my feelings and struggles with living with Young Onset Parkinsons. Meant to be for a heavy song, kinda feeling the pulse of something chaotic with "in your face" percussion. Fair warning, it comes from a harsh and negative space in my mind, but it feels worthy of sharing at this point:
"Parker? idonnevenknoher2"
With every shake I feel more like a mistake;
Contorted pain to match a broken brain.
With every night where I can't win the fight;
A shame and guilt, like a torch thrown on the life we built.
And when the pain is better left unspoken,
I'm still alive; can't keep my eyes open.
And when I try it feels like I'm choking;
Twisting inside, I hear my voice croaking.
So now the silence fills the space in between
The Burden and her dumb fucking dream.
A hauntingly calm reminder;
You can only save yourself,
Your friends will never call.
So when you climb up to your highest peak:
(Jump)
Embrace the mother-fucking fall.
I can't fucking believe this.
I thought I was only losing myself.
I thought they would always be here.
This is the rest of my life;
Stupid fucking stoic silence.
Fuck.
With every breath I feel more like a burden;
Chaotic amalgama of symptom progression.
And when I try and think that I can prevail
I'm reminded my body's always destined to fail.
Definitely open to feedback, but that's what I've got for now on this one! I hope it resonates in someway with someone, but hell its just been a great exercise in "letting that shit go" for me.
