I was told that August was the month of hope.
The month when wishes are granted and dreams would come true.
Today, I'm reminded of a fantasy I've secretly held on to.
The tint of the sky, my almost, and that was you.
I dreamed we'd meet once again just like we did before. Only this time, you'd stand a little closer and perhaps hold my hand more. Walk through the halls together, with your attention only on me. I longed for you to smile brightly my way like you used to.
And for a while, just wanting was enough.
For months I held out, grasping at straws, for attention I wanted from you. Throughout the heaviness that still lingered in my heart, despite it all, I thought it was true. I thought that maybe you still liked me too.
But hope isn't enough.
Not through the distance, or the awkward glances we'd exchange in the halls.
Not through tight-lipped smiles, or unsent message drafts I saved on my phone.
Hope can never make you love me the way I desperately wanted you to. It can't erase the fact that I was never the one for you.
Everything I wanted was poured out endlessly—not to me, but to someone else. The one you called yours.
Today, I woke up in tears from that dream.
Of a flower bouquet and the crinkles of your eyes that weren't given to me. They run down my cheeks with all the weight of the past month's grief. And yet, my heart feels so free.
First, loving you felt like summer skies and sun kissed cheeks.
But now you are happy, and maybe that was all that mattered to me.
Goodbye, August.
Goodbye to all the abandoned memories and the little dreams that will never come true. Goodbye to those restless nights spent thinking of you. My heart, though wounded, was still so willing to give. Maybe one day, I'll find the one that reciprocates that love towards me too.
So let's raise our glass as the final moments of August slip away. Let the echoes that remind us of what has now passed begin to fade.
Here's a toast to the ‘us’ that never was.
The bittersweet taste of a hope that died.
My final goodbye to the love that was never mine.
TIMING: After Hunter's Moon and before The Ability in Observation
LOCATION: Gael and Elias's house
PARTIES: @eliaskahtri and @chasseurdeloup
SUMMARY: Kaden goes looking for Ren and finds Elias instead.
CONTENT WARNINGS: none!
This was a terrible idea. Kaden stood in front of what was theoretically Gael’s house. The one where Ren lived, too. He doubted she was there, but he’d gone out to that spot in the woods where they met the other day, hoping to find any sign of her. All he found was one of her balisongs strewn on the ground. Coming all the way out here to return it was still a poor fucking excuse to show up and he knew it. Not to mention he probably shouldn’t even be out and about given his injuries were still healing. Even hunter healing couldn’t work miracles.
Kaden winced as he leaned down to wipe his palm on his jeans, trying to get the sweat off before he knocked on the door. He shouldn’t be there at all. He was definitely pushing the issue too far. Why did he even care what the kid thought about him? Why should he reach out to her at all? She had plenty of people trying to help already. But his mind kept flashing back to that day in the woods and how much she reminded him of Keira. Putain, if anything, that should have been a reason for him to stay away. What good had he done for his sister? And what fucking good had his sister done for him? Why did he think this might be different? He sure as shit didn’t have anything to offer her. And yet, there he was.
Fuck it. He knocked on the door, mostly expecting just to see Gael open the door and tell him that Ren wasn’t there. That would be the best-case scenario. Or would it? He wasn’t sure he was ready to encounter Gael face-to-face anytime soon, either. Things felt smoothed over when they talked online but he had a feeling that in person all sorts of unaddressed insecurities were going to bubble right to the fucking surface again.
Who he didn’t expect to see on the other side of the door was Elias. Kaden must have looked like a deer in the headlights standing there. “Oh. Hi,” he said, giving a small wave. “I didn’t know you lived here, too.” Kaden looked down and realized the butterfly knife was still in his hand, the one he’d lifted to wave. Merde. “I, uh, was here to see Ren.” That didn’t make it better. “I mean, I heard she was here. This is her knife.” He held it up and it probably looked like he was threatening the man. “I think. I just–” He wasn’t helping himself any here. “I can just, uh, come back later. Never mind.” He went to turn and walk away but forgot about his stitches and doubled over at the sudden movement, his hand clutching his side. Putain.
The house was lonely without anyone in it. Elias was used to hearing Gael padding about the house, doing this and that, Ren and Gael talking to each other from the other room. But now that it was quiet, everything felt stock still. He didn’t like being all alone. The little things that made a home a home weren’t the same when he was all alone. The creaks of the foundation were louder, the wind sounded more ominous. It was one of the biggest reasons that he didn’t want to live alone.
Elias jumped up as he heard the knocking at the door. He had stayed in the living room, hoping one of his two roommates would show up. He was growing worried, incredibly so. He practically ran to the door, hoping to see Gael standing there, but to his surprise, it was Kaden. The man who had caught him in the cheese caves, the one who had told him that giant rat had been a coyote. As he held up the knife, Elias frowned. “She’s not been around. Neither of them have.” He spoke, frowning. “Truth be told, I’m worried.” He admitted as he took a step out of the door.
Then, the man was leaving. “Hey, wait it’s alright you don’t need to—“ And then he was doubled over in pain. Acting quickly, Elias ran to Kaden’s side, hand placed onto his back with a worried expression. “What’s going on, how can I help you?” He asked gently. “I’m trained in first aid, I can do my best…” he mentioned, worried for him.
Well, at least he hadn’t taken the knife as a threat, that was better than Kaden could have expected. His brow furrowed at Elias’s statement. He’d expected Ren to still be MIA, but not Gael. “Neither of them?” That was strange. It was daylight, there was no need for the werewolf to be away from the house. Then again, maybe the professor was away for the full three days. Off somewhere being responsible, and keeping himself from other people. It would track with what he knew of the man so far. He was tempted to ask later.
Putain. He couldn’t even manage to walk away successfully. “Sorry,” he said as he stopped trying to walk away. Or move. Or do anything but stand there, clenching his jaw against the pain. “It’s fine. I’m fine,” he tried to wave it off but knew that any other movement was going to be pushing it. Coming over there was already way more than he should have dared to do this soon after the attack. Fuck. He could feel the world start to spin ever slightly. “Alright, I might be… less… fine.” He sighed. “Wound should be okay I just, uh, I think I need to sit down for a bit. If that’s alright.” He hated asking for help, for favors, especially from people he barely knew. He was supposed to be the one helping, not the other way around.
Elias shook his head in response, clearly unbothered by the knife. “Nope. Neither of them. And he left his phone here too, which makes me even more worried.” He added, looking over his shoulder to the kitchen where Gael’s phone was sitting. He knew the two of his roommates were adults, but it still didn’t make it any easier when they both disappeared without a trace, without warning. He’d kept himself busy by ordering various decorations for the house, going to the store to pick out paint swatches to cover the horrifically white walls. He didn’t know how Gael lived in such a clinical-looking space with the only furniture being a couch for so long.
Frown deepening, he quickly put his arm around Kaden to help him to his feet, walking him inside and onto the aforementioned couch. “You don’t have to apologize for something outside of your control,” he spoke. “What happened?” Elias found himself asking, then quickly following it up with, “if you don’t mind my asking.” His brows furrowed, clearly it was pretty serious if it was enough to knock the poor guy down. From the one interaction he’d had with Kaden, he’d gotten the impression that the guy knew what he was doing when it came to the wilderness. Maybe people were right in telling Elias to be more careful out there.
Didn’t take his phone? Maybe Kaden’s initial assumption was off the mark, then. Or maybe Gael just didn’t want his phone to get destroyed in the transformation. Not like he was going to be doing a whole lot of texting with his paws, anyway.
Kaden waved off any offer from Elias to help stabilize him, insisting on making it to the couch on his own. He tried not to collapse into his seat, hoping to mask a little more of the pain, but he slumped onto the cushions as soon as leaned back. “Animal attack,” he said, tilting his head back and shutting his eyes as he tried to slow his breathing. “Very large, aggressive dog. I shot it with a tranquilizer dart and it set it off.” That’s the story he was going with, at least. It wasn’t entirely false. A werewolf could be considered a large, aggressive dog if someone squinted while looking at it, and the tranq did alert the monster to Kaden’s position. “It’ll heal.”
Sure, that was only because he got lucky. He’d been able to get away and, more importantly, Arden had found him and saved his life. “Sorry for showing up unannounced.” Kaden realized the knife was still in his hand, and he considered handing it over to Elias to give to Ren whenever she came back round. Then again, it sounded possible that she wouldn’t be back anytime soon, and so he tucked the blade back into his pocket. He wanted to have it on hand whenever he did see the kid again. Maybe then he’d have a chance to talk to her. Maybe.
Elias’s eyes widened at the mention of a dog attack. “Well I’m glad you’re alright.” He spoke, crossing his arms across his chest as he stood in front of Kaden, not sitting down, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. Well, Regan had said there were a lot of animal attacks in the town, and he was starting to realize how true it was. Given by the amount of pain he was in, Kaden got lucky. “Animal control is that scary around here, huh?” He wondered aloud, brows knitted together in worry. Well I’m glad that you’re alright, for the most part anyway.
“No, it’s okay.” He then spoke after Kaden apologized. He was curious as to how he got the address, but decided not to question it too much. He also finally looked down to the knife, seeing as how Kaden was still holding it. Of course, this was the second time he’s come across this man while he was wielding some kind of weapon. But after the first time, he decided he wouldn’t be a threat so long as he wasn’t an animal. Still, as Kaden tucked the knife away, Elias let out a breath he wasn’t aware that he was holding.
He thought for a moment, wondering if he should ask. “I don’t know Ren that well, but I’m still worried that she’s been gone for this long.” He paused. “Do you know what happened?” He then asked carefully, not wanting to breach a territory he wasn’t privy to knowing. But he had to try.
“It—“ Kaden looked over to Elias, stopping himself before continuing. He didn’t want to lie to the man but he also saw first hand how shaken up he was by the whole thing with the giant rat monster. The hunter sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “I mean, it’s not easy. There’s a lot of wildlife and a lot of it gets aggressive, especially around people.” That wasn’t entirely untrue, at least, though he still felt uneasy holding back the severity of it all. How was he supposed to make it sound dangerous without making it sound terrifying? He wasn’t sure it was possible. But it was irresponsible not to get it right. Especially since he was living with a–
Putain. Kaden’s gaze shot to the other man. He didn’t know he was living with a werewolf, did he? There’s no way he could. Not if he bought the story about the rat being a coyote. Putain de merde. In that case it was imperative that he strike the right balance and make sure Elias knew how real the danger in this town could be – and how close to home.
Wait, he said something. What about? Oh. Ren. Right. “Yeah don’t know her well either,” he said with a shrug. Didn’t even know if she was a hunter, not really. All the signs were there, though. And Emilio was looking out for her, too. Had to be a hunter. Probably not a ranger if she was living with a werewolf. Then again, he was a ranger and he was living with a werewolf. That wasn’t the same. “I met her out in the woods. I was trying to contain an animal and she showed up.” Shit, that probably made it sound bad that she was missing. Well, at least worse than it was. “She’s okay. I mean, she’s not. But physically she’s– Well, her leg got a little messed up but she should be fine. Just sort of had a freak out I think. Ran off.” Maybe at the very least it would be clear why he was looking for her. Then again, might be more confusing. Putain.
Elias frowned at the man’s clear discomfort. Whether that be from the injury itself or something deeper was beyond Elias. “Can I get you something? Painkillers or something?” He asked, brows knitted together in worry as he pressed his lips into a flat line. He didn’t feel right just standing there watching the guy who was clearly in pain. “Yeah, I’m starting to learn a thing or two about the wildlife,” he said with a frown. “Between that rabid thing we saw near that cave to other shit I’ve come across, I can’t imagine what you do being all that easy.”
When Kaden stared at him, Elias wondered if he had said something wrong. “Uh.” He said, looking around the room in slight discomfort. “Did I say something wrong?” He then asked, pointing at himself. “Are you sure you don’t need me to call someone or do something?” He then asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he began to doubt the man’s level of stability.
His brows shot up as Kaden began to talk of another animal out in the woods, and how Ren had showed up. That raised his worry. Between all the animal attacks and both his roommates missing, it was enough to make his blood pressure skyrocket. And she was hurt. Great. Now if he just sat at home doing nothing, he felt like an asshole. But how would he even go about looking for someone he’d barely spoken to? No, it wouldn’t work. Plus, if either of them showed up hurt and he hadn’t been there to help them? Well, he didn’t know if he’d be able to forgive himself. So instead of speaking, he simply stood there looking as distressed as he felt.
Kaden was about to wave the other man off and refuse help. It was like second nature to just tough it out, embrace the pain and push past it. He could practically hear Monty and Andy chiding him in his head to just accept the fucking help. “Maybe. If you have something. Don’t go out of your way for me, though. I’ll be alright.” He wasn’t even sure how much a painkiller could help at this point, it would just all hurt until it healed. He could only hope it would heal correctly. “There’s a reason why the job has a high mortality rate,” he said with a shrug. Yeah, a high mortality rate that he almost contributed to. It hit him like a ton of bricks; as if he wasn’t already pinned down to the couch by the pain alone.
No, not the place to panic, to let himself walk down that path. Not the time, either, since he’d clearly made Elias uncomfortable. Putain.
He should let it go, just take the painkillers and go. There was no reason to poke and prod his knowledge. But he couldn’t just let this lie, not if the residents of this house could be endangered and unaware.
“Uh, so… This might be out of line but, uh, how well do you know Gael?” His heart was racing. It would be a miracle if this discussion didn’t get him kicked out of the house. And the line of questioning felt intrusive, especially when the other man was already anxious. “Not that– You don’t have to answer if… I’m just. Wondering. If you have any idea why he might not be here.” Kaden hoped that Elias would have some inkling, some canned explanation that the werewolf fed to him. It would mean that Gael was at least a little responsible and that the hunter didn't have to worry as much about something happening to Elias or Ren. It wouldn’t assuage all of his concerns, but it would be a good start.
If he didn’t, Kaden wasn’t sure what the fuck he was going to say. He wasn;t about to out the existence of the supernatural, it went against his code and it didn’t feel like something the man could handle. But he had to say something, he had to warn him. Ethically he couldn’t just let it lie. Not when he was sitting on the couch after nearly dying from a werewolf attack a day or so ago. Kaden was trained to deal with this, he was prepared if something went wrong with Alex’s transformation, god forbid. Elias wasn’t. And he wasn’t sure Ren was, either, even though she was clearly far more capable.
Before Kaden could protest any more than he already was, Elias was up running into the bathroom and grabbing the bottle of tylenol and running back. Getting a glass of water from the kitchen and then walking back to Kaden, he then offered the pills and water to him. “Please, at least take it to make me feel better.” He spoke with a pleading look on his face. He thought about all the weird animals he’d heard about online to what he had witnessed in person. (Still not a hundred percent on that rat thing being a coyote, it just felt so real.)
“Well I know we don’t know each other very well, but if you ever need someone to vent to, I’m always here.” Elias offered with a tilt of his head. “Like really. You don’t have to keep everything to yourself, especially if you have a stressful job.” Elias carefully sat down on the couch next to Kaden, a soft frown lining his features.
Elias then froze at the question that Kaden posed to him, his frown deepening. “He’s… you could say he’s really important to me.” He decided with a narrowing of his eyes. He didn’t understand the sudden questioning of his relationships. Sure, they’d gone out on a date and he wasn’t quite sure where they were standing at the moment, but why was it this guy’s business? He then frowned. He had no idea where Gael could have gone or why he had left in the first place. “I have no idea where he went, but I’m really fucking worried about it.” He shook his head, letting out a deep sigh.
“But, between me and you, I care about him an awful lot. And if he doesn’t come back, I’ll be more than a little upset. I mean you said it yourself, there’s a lot of dangerous animals out in the woods.” He bit his lower lip, realizing he was starting to ramble on the more nervous he became. He found himself staring at a spot on the floor, unsure what to do about any of it. “Sorry to dump on you like that.” He then muttered out, clasping his hands together with a faraway expression.
Kaden nodded and accepted the meds. Likely wouldn’t do much but maybe it would be better than nothing. Couldn’t be worse.
Someone to vent to, yeah, alright. Elias didn’t even know what he was asking. There wasn’t much that Kaden could share with a normal human that kept in line with his codes, not if he wasn’t already in the know. Even then, he never wanted to burden people with the kind of shit he lived with day in and day out. How was anyone supposed to sleep at night if they knew everything that was lurking in the shadows, just out of sight? “Thanks for the offer,” he said, “I’ll keep that in mind.”
So he hadn’t said a damn thing. Putain. Did Gael not know he was going to transform? This couldn’t be his first full moon, not if Kaden was able to sense him at the football game. He had to know, or at least have an idea. He had to. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. I just wondered if maybe he told you about, uh… any medical conditions or things like that. Wasn’t questioning if you gave a shit or anything like that. Promise.” He was well aware he should be more careful with that word but, well, he wasn’t really worried about Elias of all people being a fae. Not with how he reacted to that rat king.
Of course Elias thought that Gael would be the one subject to the monsters in the pines when in reality, well, he was the exact thing Kaden had been running from the other night. Not that it could possibly be him that had torn the ranger’s flesh open, that would be too much of a coincidence. Right? Still that didn't mean that the professor was safe out there, hunters would still try to kill him if he wasn’t careful. And Kaden was getting the sense that he wasn’t exactly careful. He didn’t warn his roommate who clearly cared about him. He didn’t say a damn thing. If he was being responsible about any of this, there was no way the full moon would just slip his mind. It never slipped Kaden’s. And he wasn’t the one who had to deal with an excruciatingly painful transformation for the three days of the full moon.
The ranger was starting to feel bad for pushing for answers from the man when he was in the dark even more so than Kaden and obviously upset. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have…” His sentence faded away and the ranger took a deep breath and tried again. “I’m sure he’s going to be alright. I bet he shows up sometime tomorrow. It’s a full moon, you know. Makes people a little weird.” He offered a small attempt at a smile. Maybe Elias would assume it was a joke. He hoped so. He reached out to grip the man’s shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze. “He’ll be alright,” he said again, trying to add an extra layer of reassurance.
Elias frowned, shaking his head. Of course that’s not what Kaden meant. He wasn’t sure why he was so worked up over it. After all, they were just roommates. He crossed his arms over his chest, allowing himself to think of what would happen if he never returned. Were there squatters’ rights in Maine? He frowned, then shook his head. No, he wasn’t going to think like that. Gael would come back.
When Kaden put a hand on his shoulder, he just looked over to him with a nod. “Yeah. He will be.” He looked over to the long-forgotten phone on the counter, letting out a sigh. “I hope you’re right.” He muttered, unable to tear his gaze away from it. He was hoping it would ring, it would be someone saying that they found him or something. It was the worst feeling, having both of your roommates go missing at the same time.
Of course he was worried about Ren too. He didn’t know her as well, but still. Both of them missing? “I’m worried about Ren too.” He admitted. “I don’t know her very well, but having both of my roommates go missing?” He widened his eyes and shook his head. “Just my luck, right?” He uncrossed his arms, running his fingers through his hair. All of this was just ridiculous. “Does shit always get this crazy around this town?” He found himself asking before he could stop himself. “Like, weird shit that doesn’t make any sense. Why only here?” He looked Kaden over, confused.
Kaden hoped he was right, too. It wasn’t as if he could personally make sure no other ranger attacked the man over the course of the full moon. He’d struck out early, day one he was down for the count. And all hope he had that Gael had a plan or prepared himself for this time of the month was shot straight to hell after talking to Elias. Somehow he got the feeling that the werewolf knew as much about his own condition as the human sitting there on the couch fretting over him. “I’ll try to listen in on the police reports while I’m out. Make sure he doesn’t show up on any of them. That neither of them do.” He didn’t know how much comfort that would be but it was the best he could offer.
Kaden sighed. “Yeah, like I said, that one might be my fault. She ran away after I met her and I think it was something I said that made her run.” He tried not to let the guilt take hold too strongly. He knew that ultimately, he couldn’t have known how to make it better. He still wasn’t sure he knew. “I may not know her well, but she’s capable. Very, if my run-in with her was any indication.” He didn’t know a single hunter with even a sliver of training who couldn’t survive in the woods for a bit by themselves. Even in these woods full of monsters, he was confident that her instincts were sharper than his, honed on survival. She would make it back. He believed that. He had to believe that. There was enough blood on his hands for a lifetime as it was.
The ranger huffed out a laugh at Elias’s question. “My understanding, yeah it’s always pretty weird around here.” It certainly wasn’t why he came here, but it didn’t surprise him that Andy and Alex had found themselves here before he showed up. “But it’s not just here. There’s weird shit like this everywhere. All over the world.” He knew better than most. “It’s just, uhh, more concentrated here. I guess. But trust me, I dealt with similar things back in France, too.”
Elias nodded his head slowly. He hated the idea of either of them becoming nothing more than a police report. He also knew that he would keep an eye out on the decedent list, in the off chance something bad happened to them. He hated thinking in such a dark manner, but he knew there was a small chance, especially in this town, that something had happened to them. His chest squeezed at the idea, and he shook his head. No, he couldn’t think like that. Not when there was the slightest bit of hope that they were both alive.
He listened as Kaden explained what happened, frowning. He didn’t ask what he had said, it wasn’t his place. But this man, who had once told him he was hunted as well as knew his way around animals, was telling him that Ren could hold her own. That made him feel better, if only minutely. “Why here of all places?” He found himself asking Kaden. “I mean, France? That’s pretty cool.” This, of course, was coming from a man who had only left the country once, and it had been to Canada, of all places.
“There’s nothing special about the climate around here, is there?” He then asked, brows furrowed together. Biologically, it didn’t make any sense. Dangerous animals in a rain forest? He could understand that. But here in Maine, where the winters were as cold as they were? He just didn’t get it. “Then again, I’m not the animal expert.”
“Why did I come here? Is that what you’re asking?” Kaden tried to clarify. “I have family here. Needed a change. So here I am.” He could only shrug at the mention of his homeland being cool. “Yeah, it’s where I was born and grew up. It’s pretty different.”
His brows furrowed. “I don’t think so. I mean we have a pretty decent variety of habitats with the mountains, forests, and then the ocean right there. Can’t say that’s why though.” Truthfully, he didn’t know why certain places drew more supernatural energy to them than others. It was almost impossible to say. And if there was an explanation, hunters weren’t going to be the ones to find it. Their goal was to eliminate it, not ask why it was here or where it came from. “So yeah, big variants in species might be related to that, I guess.”
He took in a deep breath. He wasn't sure if the meds were working or if it was just a placebo effect, but either way, Kaden felt alright enough to stand. He was pretty sure at least. “I should get out of your hair, though. Thanks for letting me get myself together, though.” The ranger braced himself for pain as he pushed himself off the couch, one hand clutching his side. His eyes lingered on the phone on the counter and his mind flashed to the knife in his pocket. “They’ll be alright,” he assured, though he couldn’t say if it was Elias he was talking to or himself.
Rumours had begun to spread- rumours that the daughter of Ozai was alive, and plotting, and not in any form of captivity. They were all true, and it was Azula herself who was spreading them. Well, to a point. They spread to a greater extent than they could have done by herself. But she had supporters, and they were more than happy to help her with the rumours.
Now, she was on the road again. The best thing Azula figured she could do was start making appearances, popping up and backing the rumours, as she made her way toward the Fire Nation once more.
It was in a city where many of the nations gathered that she ran into something quite irritating- someone who was dead set there was no way she was Azula. She was about two seconds from giving a little display that would prove it, and that became obvious as she flexed her hand. Anyone who recognised fire bending would know what she was up to.
