#eliaskahtri

[kadavernagh]

@eliaskahtri replied to your post “[pm] Guess who has two thumbs and got in last...”:

[pm] Yeah. I'm here for good. [...] You know, I could use someone with a keen eye for interior decorating, you know anyone? [...] That is how seeing someone works, you have to use your eyes, yeah. I mean, we don't have to if you don't want to, I just [...] want to. We haven't really talked since everything that happened, not [...] properly. And I think we should. [...] You played the Sims? Which one? There are 4.

​[pm] Why give yourself such a death sentence?

Jade likes decorating, as it turns out. She's never been Her personality shines through in her decisions, I think. Perhaps not as clinical as my taste, but superior, because it's her. You may prefer different photos on the walls.

I didn't– I didn't say that I don't want that. I haven't really, um, talked to any of you. Yet. Wynne, briefly. The ham child even more briefly. It doesn't... I don't know. Are you certain? Do you remember when my grandmother stabbed you? Multiple times?

Jade had it on her laptop. I don't which version it was, only that they wouldn't return to the computer once they escaped.

You don't happen to have a blowtorch, do you? And do you prefer the kazoo, or the vuvuzela? Those two questions are unrelated.

[recoveringdreamer]

@eliaskahtri

Well, thank fucking god for that! You don't pay for emojis. Emojis are already on your phone. I cannot make it more simple than that. There are emojis on your smartphone. Unless you're weirder than I thought and own a flip phone... He was scamming you. Cam's a Scam. And you're too trusting for your own good. He STOLE from you.

No, like, they were special emojis. They weren't just smiley faces. There was a cat. I was paying for the cat emojis, but now I don't know where he is so I can't use the cats anymore or I'll get in trouble for it. Because it's stealing, you know?

He wouldn't do that. He was a nice guy!

[chasseurdeloup]

Toss a Coin to Your Hunter

TIMING: Early March LOCATION: Another Castle PARTIES:  @eliaskahtri and @chasseurdeloup SUMMARY:  Elias runs into Kaden while he's on the job at the arcade and they both find themselves in unexpected territory. CONTENT WARNINGS: Nerdery, that's it.

It was a Friday night, and Elias was trying to make an effort to go out and do things instead of letting himself rot alone inside. He needed to branch out more if he wanted to make more friends. Another Castle was the arcade below his apartment in the downtown area, so he decided to stop by. He had made sure to wait until past seven so that it was a bit of an older crowd when he arrived. The last thing he needed was to be surrounded by a bunch of college kids while he was in his mid-thirties. 

A Mariokart tournament was going on, and Elias wanted to see what the scene was like. He wasn’t the best at the game, but some friendly competition with people who just wanted to have fun was always an option for getting out and meeting new people. He spotted a familiar face he hadn’t seen in a few months. 

“Kaden?” Elias called out, tilting his head to one side with a curious expression. “Didn’t expect to see you in a place like this. You a fan of arcade games?” The Pacman game to his right beeped, and he looked over, only to see it back on the menu screen. He shrugged, then turned his attention back to the man.

There was one reason and one reason only that would lead Kaden into a place like this: a monster. Or, well, a stray animal. Maybe a ghost. Or a shifter or something, perhaps a curse or– Alright, there were a few reasons why Kaden would walk into an arcade full of loud sounds and bright lights. The point was that none of those reasons were to play games. They didn’t appeal to him much. For one, he never got the chance to play them as a kid so he felt stupid and terrible at every single game he ever attempted. Even though he wasn’t as intense as his sister, he still hated losing. Anytime he tried to play, he was bad, felt bad, and then found himself frustrated. So, good for the people who liked that kind of thing, Kaden just wasn’t one of them.

Instead, he was here due to a call to animal control that Gary promptly wrote off. There were some weird “hamster-looking things with horns chewing through parts of the store,” apparently. Gary informed them that animal control was not pest control, and he wasn’t wrong. Animal control didn’t deal with rodent infestations, even if those rodents were supernatural in nature: snicker-snackers. Which was why Kaden wasn’t there as animal control. Not officially, at least. He told the kid working at the front he was there as animal control, that he was there to help. Best part about working off the job was he wouldn’t have to write up any fucking paperwork about this. 

Kaden crouched down to get a better look at the floor, the machines, the carpet, and anything he could get his eyes on, hunting for any signs of the creatures. A brick or two were wedged under the legs of one pinball machine to keep it balanced, tiny teeth marks etched into the edge of the wood. They were lucky it wasn’t worse. He was about to crawl towards the next machine, see if he could figure out where they might have gone, when he heard his name. 

The ranger jumped and went to stand. Only, he forgot he was underneath a pinball machine. His head thunked against the bottom of the table and he could here clicking and clacking and bells and whistles going off right above him. “Putain!” 

Kaden rubbed the back of his head as he slowly backed his way out from under the arcade game to get a better look at who he was talking to. Merde, that was going to be a bump. “Elias?” he said, raising a brow when he came face to face with the other man. “What are you doing here?” 

A pause. That was a stupid question. “Nevermind. I can guess.” This was very much his sort of scene. “Anyway, just here for a job. Animal control job. All that.”

Surprised by his name being called, Elias whirled his head around to see Kaden rubbing the back of his head with a curious gaze. “Oh, hey!” He replied with a smile. “I live above the place,” he explained with a shrug of his shoulder. “Thought I’d do my best to try and not rot away in my apartment like I want to.” He spoke, realizing maybe he was being a bit too honest with someone that was virtually a stranger. “On a job?” He asked. He knew very little of Kaden, but he knew enough to know that he wasn’t the type to play video games. 

Elias looked over to one of the TV setups, it was on the menu screen for one of the Witcher games. Elias smiled at the idea of the game. It was a compelling story, he’d read the books too. Something about it was drawing him in, though. Like he’d forgotten all about his conversation with Kaden, Elias began to slowly walk toward the machine like it had a siren song calling out to him, his eyes faraway as he slinked toward the machine. It was so entrancing, and in that moment, he felt like he was there. The sudden need to break out into poetry came over him, to flirt with everything that moved… what was happening? He blinked, trying to draw himself away. 

“I think there’s something weird about this game,” he said aloud, not sure if Kaden was still listening or if he’d gone back to what he was doing. “I can’t look away.” He then said, starting to feel as if something magical was afoot. “Hey, Kaden, you see this?” Elias felt his knees start to buckle, and suddenly, the man was passed out on the floor, but really, he was somewhere else entirely. 

Elias Kahtri was no longer a boring, human man. No, he was… a bard! Master Dandelion! Elias blinked and looked around, realizing he was in the center of the town of the game. Oh shit, he thought with wide eyes, looking down at his outfit to realize that he was the sidekick to Geralt. “I’m in the fucking game!” He shouted, drawing the stares of various NPCs.

Kaden’s face scrunched with concern. Rot away in his apartment? Didn’t sound great. Not that it mattered to the ranger one way or another what Elias did or didn’t do with his free time. Something about the statement, though, it was concerning. “Yeah, on a job. You know, animal control.”

Before Kaden had finished his sentence, the man was drifting away towards one of the glowing screens. “Hey, I didn’t think I was that boring,” he said as he craned his neck to get a look at what the hell was going on over there. What could possibly be so distracting about that screen to lose focus that fast? 

His brows narrowed, watching the pixels on the screen. Looked like a standard video game to him, but Elias was entranced, drawing ever closer. “I don’t,” he told the man, “and I think you should step away from the–” 

Elias was sucked up into the game itself before Kaden could say putain.

Merde. Kaden ran over to the screen and felt gravity falling away and the world shifting around him. In the blink of an eye, he was face down in the mud and wearing something strangely heavy. A lot heavier than his usual gear. 

He grumbled as he pushed himself up off the ground, wiping the mud on his pants. Which were leather. And just above the waistband was chainmail. Not to mention the gloves, also leather and something that looked like armor. “Putain?” he said, giving himself another one over before looking around.

They were definitely not inside the arcade anymore but somewhere outside. Somewhere he’d never seen. It looked almost medieval. And Elias was wearing some silly outfit with an even sillier hat and had a lute strapped to his back. “We’re what?!”  he said to the other man. No, that couldn’t be. They were in a game? “What the hell kind of game is this? Don’t fucking tell me I have to save a princess from a castle or some shit.” He muttered more curse words under his breath. “Any clue how the fuck we get out of here?” 

Swallowing, Elias looked over to Kaden to see that he was dressed in heavy leather armor and mud covered his face. “You’re a witcher.” Elias spoke with a grin, suddenly glad that his years of video games were finally paying off in the grand scheme of things. “They kill monsters, but only if they get paid. Which means there are monsters in this world too, except these ones are programmed to attack on sight.” Elias pulled a face at the idea, then shook his head. 

“Well if I know what’s going on correctly, I’m just your sidekick. I write prose and sing about your adventures and triumphs.” Elias pulled the lute off his back and strummed the strings, and it was obvious he had no idea how to play it. It was out of tune and the cacophony of strings made the man wince at his own attempt. “Okay, maybe I won’t sing. That’s… probably for the benefit of all.” He strapped the lute back onto his back, then shrugged his shoulders.

“I know this game. It’s the third Witcher game. It’s a roleplaying game where your decisions shape the game and you have a grand adventure and kill monsters and the big bad guys are this army that when it shows up, everything turns frozen. Elias waved his hands around animatedly as he spoke, beginning to walk through the old-fashioned village. “If I’m right, then this is the start of the game.” 

Elias suddenly snapped a finger, then pointed to Kaden. “Also everyone hates you because you’re a witcher. They call your kind mutants. So… we have to watch out for normal people as well as monsters. Don’t say anything weird and we should be fine. As for getting out, I don’t know. Maybe we have to complete the starting area? Which is by defeating a gryphon…” Elias trailed off, suddenly worried of how they were going to pull that off. “Or… maybe we can find something easier, like a fucking off button.”

Elias was saying a lot of damn words and they might have made sense to him, but they didn’t make any of it make any more sense to Kaden. The one thing he did catch was “kill monsters.” Putain de merde, even in another fucking reality he was hunting goddamn monsters. With a sword, apparently. There was a crossbow on him, too, but it sure as hell wasn’t as powerful as the compound one he had at home. Looked a little useless, if he was being honest. Sword it was, he supposed. While the other man was chattering on, Kaden was trying to figure out what other shit he was carrying on him. He wasn’t sure how the fuck all of it was in one little bag but he figured he should be grateful that the video game logic persisted in this case. There were bottles of strange substances, more weapons, books, some pieces of metal, gems, powder, full hides and… a broken oar? What the fuck?

His gaze shot back up to meet Elias at the word “gryphon.” Kaden blinked back at the man. He couldn’t be serious. And yet, nothing about his countenance suggested that was the case. “A fucking gryphon?” he repeated. “And wait, did you say mutants? I’m a goddamn mutant now?” Then again, he considered what he was normally: a guy with enhanced strength, hearing, tougher than normal skin, and the ability to sense werewolves. Alright, maybe not much had changed. Kaden sighed and wiped a gloved hand down his face. “Fine. Lead the way. I guess.” 

As they started to walk, he realized how goddamn slow he felt. And he couldn’t pick up the pace, not without running. Which sounded exhausting. He glanced around and saw there were horses. “Hey, do I get one of those?” he asked Elias, pointing to one of the horses hitched to a post. 

Elias watched as Kaden slowly came to terms with the reality they found themselves in. “Uh, yeah. You’re a mutant. And you’re judged for it. Instead of being praised for hunting monsters, you’re a mild inconvenience but also useful when needed.” He shrugged his shoulders then pulled the lute off of his back and began to strum it. Having no musical talent, it sounded cacophonous and wrong. “I…” He strummed a few more times, then gave up and put the lute away again. “Okay, maybe not.” He spoke, frowning. “Man, if I’m going to be stuck as a bard, at least give me magical musical talent.” He complained, kicking at the dirt under his foot. 

“Yeah, a gryphon! We’ll… totally get our asses kicked. I’m not a fighter.” He scratched at the back of his neck, the reality of their situation finally kicking in. As they walked along the path, Elias stopped in his tracks as Kaden pointed to a bay horse. “Actually…” He took a good look at the horse, then grinned. “That’s actually your horse!” He told Kaden with a bright smile. “Name’s Roach, isn’t she a beauty? Call her, she’ll probably come to you if the theory that you’re Geralt is to be believed…” He trailed off, lost in thought as he tried to remember the details of a game he hadn’t played in quite a long time. 

Elias took the other horse that was next to Roach, deciding that the person didn’t need it. It was a video game after all, he could do what he wanted, right? Only problem was, he had never ridden a horse in his entire life. He stared up at it, then frowned. “I… should probably walk.” He decided, nervous.

“Of fucking course they to,” Kaden grumbled. The reality of what that actually meant hit him a little slower. “Hold on, that means people know about the supernatural?” He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He’d be lying if he said he’d never wondered what life would be like if the supernatural were less of a secret, if he didn’t have to hide what he was or how he grew up. He wondered if life would be better, or at least easier. Sounded like he was fucked either way if this world he landed in was anything to go by. 

“Roach? The horse’s name is Roach? Putain de merde.” Who the fuck named their horse that? Nevermind, didn’t matter. “Uh, come here, Roach,” he called out to her. The mare looked at him questioningly (as much as a horse could), but trotted over all the same. He was thankful that his horseback riding skills have improved dramatically since he started dating Monty. It was easy to pull himself up into the saddle, even with the armor he was wearing. And Roach seemed agreeable enough. 

He raised a brow as he watched Elias approach the other horse. It was clear he was not as familiar with horses and that, despite being in this fucking video game, they didn’t have skills beyond their normal arsenal. Right. That was concerning. If the gryphon was anything like he was imagining, he was pretty sure he didn’t have the skills to take it down by his damn self. Especially since he was going to take a wild guess that he wasn’t getting his hands on a shotgun anytime soon. 

Kaden rolled his eyes at the man’s declaration that he’d walk. That was going to be too goddamn slow and left him even more vulnerable than he already was. “Come on,” he said as he reached down to grab Elias’s arm, pulling him up onto the back of the horse, seated just behind Kaden. “Probably a good idea to hold on.” 

He nudged the horse ahead and they began trotting down the path. For some goddamn reason, there were villagers just constantly in his way. Kaden did his best to steer past them, but Roach didn’t seem to be as dexterous or responsive as most horses he was used to. “Hey, watch it!” one man yelled out as he dodged out of the way. Another woman yelped. “Don’t walk in the fucking roads!” Kaden shouted back but it didn’t seem to deter them from their predetermined loops. “Who the fuck makes people walk in front of a goddamn horse?” he grumbled to himself.

It was then he realized he wasn’t even sure if they were headed the right way. He sort of just picked a direction. Kaden considered pausing to ask one of the people wandering around but the dirty looks they shot him didn’t make him want to strike up any conversation. He was going to assume he was headed down the right path since, well, it was a path in a video game after all. How hard could it be to navigate?

Roach started to get nervous and skittish as they neared a small patch of water along the road. “Is she scared of water or something?” he asked Elias as if there would be a simple explanation from the video game… rules or whatever it was. It wasn’t like it was deep, there was no reason the horse couldn’t cross it. They wouldn’t even have to jump to get to the other side. Hell, he was pretty sure it might go up as high as his ankles. Kaden urged the horse forward anyway and Roach listened, but was still uneasy. Whatever, it was probably nothing, some way to teach a player how to gallop or some shit. Either way, he was sticking to trotting while he had an extra passenger on the horse with him.

If he had looked to either side of the path as they reached the middle, he might have noticed the bubbling at the surface of the water. He might have reconsidered his decision to not go faster than a trot. Instead, inhuman screams rang out and the water splashed around them as three ghoulish creatures popped out of the water, bringing with them the stench of foul water and decay. They were blue, scaley, and Kaden sure didn’t miss the jagged teeth and sharp claws. “Putain de merde! What the fuck are those?!” he shouted while Roach did her best to keep calm while she was clearly freaking out. Shit, they didn’t have time to learn what those were. Fuck this.

”Hold on!” he shouted to Elias as he kicked Roach into a gallop. So much for not faster than a trot.

_____

“Not only do these people know about them but it’s a normal occurrence. Just another day as far as they’re concerned.” Elias shrugged a shoulder, looking at all the townspeople. “God, can you imagine living in a world like this?” He spoke, glad to have indoor plumbing and no cockatrices. “Yeah, the horse’s name is Roach. Appreciate her! Love her! Treat her with the respect she deserves!” Elias retorted with a frown. 

Before he could protest, Elias was on the back of a horse. God, this was wrong. He didn’t like it one bit. “Kaden, this is such a bad idea,” Elias spoke, his fear of the gentle beasts coming to the surface. Then, the horse started moving and Elias was quick to grab onto Kaden to keep himself from falling off. 

“Hey, the NPCs aren’t supposed to be smart,” Elias mentioned with a roll of his eyes as Kaden complained after nearly trampling a few people. He watched in partial fascination and partial horror as the landscape went by. “We’ve got to stop getting into things whenever we run into each other,” he remarked with a smirk. Then, the horse started to get freaked out. “Oh, those are drowners!” Elias spoke, pointing to the blue-colored things coming straight for them. 

Before he knew it, they were taking off down the path before the things could get their hands on them, and Elias felt his grip tighten for dear life. “Oh this is nuts!” Elias complained as the horse galloped along. “I mean, how are we going to get out of here? Are we stuck in the Witcher world forever? I can’t play the lute!” Elias felt himself spiraling at the concept of being stuck there. Not to mention Kaden didn’t really fit Geralt’s part either. 

“Man, I mean I could have been anyone in this game, and I’m Dandelion.” He continued. “He’s woman-obsessed and a genius with words. I’m neither of those things.” Elias frowned and shook his head at the idea of being someone like Dandelion.

It was in the midst of Elias’s complaining when a terrifying screech came from above them. Elias looked up, and there it was. Swooping right for them was the gryphon from the beginning of the game. “Oh, we’re done for!” Elias shouted, pointing up at the creature. “Run, Roach! Run!” He demanded, pulling out Geralt’s, no… Kaden’s sword and pointing it up at the creature. “Back off!” He demanded, knowing it would do little to deter the beast.

Roach kept running, but started to make scared whinnies and as the large bird creature swooped closer. “Oh, we’re going to die here!” Elias shouted, squeezing his eyes shut. This was it, goodbye world! The gryphon’s talons were pointed straight for them, and they made contact when– he opened his eyes and he was on the ground of the arcade next to Kaden, who was still unconscious. The game had been stopped. Elias blinked up at the worker who was staring down at him with wide eyes. 

Elias blinked a few times before forcing himself up onto his feet, disoriented. He was just holding Geralt’s sword and about to meet his end. Shit, was Kaden still in the game? Elias whirled back to look at Kaden, who was slowly coming to. “Oh thank god,” Elias muttered as he noticed the man blink a few times. “What happened?” He asked the worker, who just held their hands up. “I dunno man, you two just passed out.” The guy spoke, taking a step back. “It’s only my first day, I dunno.” Elias waved a hand, telling the kid that they’d be alright, and put his hand out to Kaden to help him up. “You alright?”

_____

A string of French curse words left Kaden’s mouth as they sprinted from the drowning monsters or whatever they were only to run into the aforementioned gryphon. At least that’s what he assumed was attached to big goddamn talons and horrendous shrieking.  “Hey!” he shouted when he noticed Elias had taken one of the swords for himself. “Do you know what you’re doing with that?!” He grumbled some more and then reached for the other sword that was on his back. Lucky there were two, he supposed. 

Kaden couldn’t say he had a plan of attack beyond just that: attack. He had faced bies and catoblepones, he could face a goddamn gryphon. He shouted back and thrust the sword up towards the beast’s talons as they swooped in towards them. 

Before the blade even made contact, the world went black around him and everything faded away. He groaned as he came back to life on the other side of the screen, pain shooting through his side as he lifted himself up off the floor. Putain de merde, whatever position he’d landed in wrecked hell on his spine. “Passed out you say?” Kaden felt his head to see if there were any bumps that would explain the hallucination from that game or whatever. It had to be that, right? If the kid was saying that they passed out. 

Only, Elias was there, too, and he looked just as startled. Fucking hell, had they really been sucked into that game? “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said with an added wince as he stood. “Back disagrees but I think it’ll get over it. Comparatively.” He looked over at the screen that they had been sucked into – black, empty, lifeless now that the console was turned off for the night. “That happened, right?” he said looking back at Elias. What the fuck kind of supernatural bullshit led to this, anyway? Maybe it was some fae bullshit or spellcasting gone awry. “Glad that’s over. I don’t think I’m going to become a gamer anytime soon.” Too much like real life. 

[ohwynne]

@eliaskahtri replied to your post “[pm] You're close with [...] the scary ham child....”:

[pm] Cool way, yeah okay. Anyway, Dr. Kavanagh is my closest friend. I [...] know her deepest secrets, she knows mine, you know? She's doing this because she thinks she has to. I have a really bad feeling. Your friend isn't supposed to be there. I have a really, REALLY bad feeling.

​[pm] Do you know she's a bado Oh. I am sorry that she left. [...] I know her too. I'm not sure if we're friends but I revere look up admire her. I don't [...] think she should be there either. It's probably not a good place. [.....] What do you think will happen? Did Dr Kavanagh tell you something about something like this?

[mortemoppetere]

[pm] I tried my best to keep my word. Cliodhna got to me, not the others. But Wynne is struggling to keep it together, and so is Nora. They will need you when we get back, and we will get back. [User is growing tired again and decides fuck it, and presses send]

[user stares at this message for a long time. he tries to feel angry -- he thinks he'd feel better if he were angry. he thinks if he could blame elias a little, even if it's not elias's fault, it would feel a little less like the world was ending. anger is familiar. anger is a cup of water in the desert, or a blanket in a snowstorm. anger has been there for him when nothing else was, has been the only constant he's ever been able to count on. he wants to be angry, but he isn't. he feels empty instead. it's so much worse.

there's a long pause between when he gets the message and when he replies to it. he doesn't think it matters. he's talking to a ghost, anyway. elias isn't making it back. neither is regan. neither are nora or wynne. he knows this. he thinks he should have known it from the beginning. he thinks it always ends the same.]

[pm] Nobody needs me. Think we both know that. Not much of a help. Never really have been.

Sorry this happened to you.

[wonder-in-wings]

@eliaskahtri replied to your post “[pm] How do you just go around knowing fae are...”:

Nothing is normal. Yeah, I can work with that. Please don't tell me what else is out there, I don't think I could handle that yet.

​[pm] Affirmative.

Do you... still believe you're going crazy?

[itzbridiebitch]

@eliaskahtri replied :Did you just quote Taylor Alison Swift?

You bet your ass I did.

[kadavernagh]

@eliaskahtri replied to your post “[pm] So. Banshee, huh?”:

[pm] According to google: Banshee- the Banshee is a harbinger of death. Banshees are described as women with ghastly pale skin and hair. That sound familiar to you at all?

​[pm] Don't... Google at me. What on earth is this about? Weren't you trying to stay away from all of this nonsense? I recall it sending you running across the country.

Look, I have your planner. And --