#young window

[kgrayjones]

New model is a pendulum swinging from pain to positive emotions, says George Bonanno, of Columbia University's Teachers College.

This article is great for those who want to move forward after losing a spouse. Don't let others tell you how you should grieve or how long you should grieve. Everyone is different. It's a wonderful thing when you're ready to move on. Don't let anyone hold you back.

[kgrayjones]

2 years

I don’t usually visit cemeteries and it seems since my husband has died and I try to visit, the weather or nature reminds me why I don’t visit cemeteries. I have been attacked by aunts. My daughter has left with a snotty and swollen face because of her allergies, we have tromped through awful weeds watching for snakes and sweated it out in the summer heat. Today, two years since his death, it is freezing outside and that Champion, Texas wind cuts right through me. I know Tim would probably laugh and call me a wuss when I got back in the car only after a few minutes. I look at his grave and stone and notice his area is clean, and then I’m done. So I sit here in my car beside his grave and admire from a distance. The only thing I don’t like is the flag at the entrance is very tattered, something that bothered Tim a lot of we drove by the cemetery and discovered Old Glory a stringy mess. He took it upon himself to replace it many times. But what’s beautiful about it is it stands proud although beaten up. Tim did that as best as he could when he was sick. And I try to keep fighting and standing with all my bruises and punches life has given me. And I realize the sweet people in my old community try hard to keep up with keeping a good looking flag with the wind that comes through here. Although today is a day of reflection, I look forward to starting a new life in a new home I am buying with my new husband Mike. He and I and the kids are ecstatic about the beautiful home that will be made possible by Mike letting go if his land and selling it. I listen to a song by Jeremy Camp, “Let it Fade.” “Let this old life crumble, let it fade. Let this new life offer be your saving grace.” So today I will remember with fondness Tim and our life together, but I won’t dwell there. I will happily embrace this new life God has out in front of me, all along celebrating who Tim was and continues to be in our children. And Mike leaves behind memories he had with his family in FisherCounty to embrace new adventures. Tonight I will bake Tim’s favorite cake, a chocolate pistachio pound cake and make what the kids remembered him making for them, chicken and dumplings. We now will celebrate this day as the day he entered heaven to suffer no more. There is no more to mourn for Tim. Today we celebrate him and his new station in life. Feeling very blessed today, blessed indeed.