I saw the text this morning, horrified because i knew what it would read. I can't sleep, i cant think straight... i'm in utter disbelief. this isn't right, its not how its supposed to be. Oh God, i do not understand this one. Anger, Fury, runs deep within my blood. Not him, God not him. I've suffered loss, and pain. but this - he's so young. this is not just. it is not right. like a brother to me, i've watched you grow and bloom. constantly re reading the news, the words that maybe my mind will make the news real but all of this just too surreal. oh god, oh fucking God what the hell. This is NOT how its supposed to go. what the fuck. this is so fucked up. I am so heart broken, i am so confused and angry. You're just too good, too sweet to say good bye to. Oh dear Judah, i will forever miss you. I hope that one day, i have a son who is brave and kind, like you. My heart is broken, dear sweet one, we will be missing you, rest in peace sweet Judah.