The Sun can be gentle, he can be warm and wash away your worries with the orange tinted light that enters by your window. He can drapple his blessing guiding light over you in a tiring Sunday. But he is no saint for you to trust. He is no angel. He can also be violent, scream loud and make you burn, turning everything into ashes in his wake, his restless rage and prideful flames.
The Moon can be lovely, she can be delicate and watch you during your peaceful and defenseless nights of sleep. She can cover your sins with her gleaming sweet embrace during the quiet hours. But she is no pope to confess to. She is no preacher. She can also be resentful, leave you to rot alone and disappear for long, feeding with your tears, her manipulate whispers and vain waters.
# — characters: gender neutral reader, kazuha, mentioned minor character
# — summary: he's your partner. nobody else's.
# — warnings: mildly suggestive; descriptions of making out, hickies
# — tags: fluff, touch of angst, communication, minor character is stupid, zuzu still wants to make out with kazuha, pretty self-indulgent
# — notes: FINALLY. I FINALLY GOT TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT THIS. SHAKING AND CRYING, I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER. reblogs and reactions are appreciated, and i hope you enjoy!
wanna join the (new!) tag list?
✧ — 🍁 — ✧
something’s... off about you.
it's no secret that nature often lends kazuha a hand when observing other people. he can hear the faintest things and pick up on the most minute details with ease -- especially when it comes to you.
for example: shortly after you two first met, after only three rounds during your first sparring match, he knew that you'd injured your wrist a few years back and gave you specific pointers on how to relieve the pain. now, even after going an entire day without seeing you, he somehow knows how you're feeling with no more than a simple glance and knows how to treat you accordingly. kazuha adjusts to things very easily, but he quickly became attuned to you without thinking; the breeze that follows close behind you is one he's familiar with, one he's grown to love deeply.
but for the past couple of days, however, something's been polluting the air you usually carry about with you. it feels like... tension, to say the least.
kazuha isn't too sure if you've realized this yet, but your smiles are thinner and looking a little forced. you're holding him closer at night (he didn't even think it possible, yet here you were) and your shoulders look tight from what he can see. you've also started working your jaw whenever you're quiet. it's not as obvious as he's making it seem, but as someone who trained himself to know all that makes you you, he can spot any oddities from a mile away.
you, on the other hand, are busy wondering why kazuha is so fucking dense.
you didn't think it possible what with how scarily observant he can be at times, but as he chats with some girl aboard the alcor (jiang -- you found out her name against your will), you wonder how he can't see what's right in front of his face.
right now, jiang is giving kazuha the "eyes" -- you would know, because you do it to him as a joke. she's got her head tilted to the side like some curious puppy, and she practically melts every time he smiles. (which is all the time, by the way. this is making you sick.)
you're also standing right next to him as he speaks. you'd think jiang would be more subtle about this.
kazuha turns his head to the side suddenly. he must've heard someone calling his name. "i'll be taking my leave," he tells the two of you. he looks at you and you feel your breath catch. for a second, you damn near forgot why you were so upset. "i'm sorry to leave you alone. beidou seems to need me."
well, fuck.
"it's no problem." you half-lie, mirroring his smile. "go before she gets impatient."
ever the charmer, kazuha takes your hand and brings your fingers to his lips before departing, leaving you with your heart reluctantly racing in your chest. god damn him.
a very uncomfortable silence descends upon you and jiang. you can feel her eyes boring into the side of her head. don't speak to me, you think. don't say a fucking word, don't speak, just stay quiet--
"you're so lucky." jiang sounds so dejected that it makes you look at her. you have to school your expression into an even one -- god forbid you show her just how much you loathe being near her. "he's such a good guy."
at least she knows he's taken. you feel your chest swell with a little bit of pride. "he really is." you have to swallow back the urge to brag.
jiang sighs wistfully. "must be nice..."
it is, you almost say. you bite your tongue. maybe it's best if you leave her to her own devices for now; you should be the bigger person. you say a quick goodbye and head off to find some work to do. the further you are from her, the better.
unfortunately, the universe has other plans.
a question: why is it that when you're trying to avoid someone, you keep seeing them everywhere? because you see jiang everywhere. not only that, you're often tasked with being near her.
like now; you're mapping out some stuff before you send it over to zhiqiong for finalization, and who else but jiang would come by to keep you company? she's helpful, surprisingly, but somehow, kazuha keeps coming up in conversation.
"where did we last see those remnants of osial's wife?" you ask her softly, your eyes fixed on the sheet. you point to a place near the compass in the corner. "was it here?"
jiang hums and points to an area closer to land. "more like here," she says, "i remember someone saying to stay on high alert because of how dangerously close it was to that fishing village."
"right, thanks. now, where did that cargo wash up? near ritou--?"
"kazuha likes fish, doesn't he?" jiang asks. her question takes you off-guard. it must show, because she apologizes, her face flushing. "i'm sorry, that was really off-topic. it's just-- i noticed that he gets a little excited whenever the chefs grill fish, so..."
you keep your expression as even as you possibly can and try to give her the benefit of the doubt. kazuha isn't very subtle with information like that. everyone knows that he likes grilled fish -- it was one of the first and only things people knew about him for a while. "yeah, he's, uh," you shift your eyes back to the map, "very particular about it. it's a hassle sometimes, but if he's happy, he's happy."
jiang nods -- maybe a little too eagerly for your liking. "i see, i see."
"right. so, ritou. did beidou say we lost stuff near the docks?"
"yeah, apparently some tenryou commission defectors or something took some stuff that was supposed to go on the ship and tossed it into the sea."
"dammit," you swear, "there was some valuable wood in those boxes. the tianquan wanted high quality maple wood for some construction just outside the harbor."
"there were reported sightings of some floating boxes..." jiang is quiet as she marks up places where shipment boxes had been spotted. as she does, she asks: "kazuha... wears a lot of maple leaves, doesn't he?"
you say a silent prayer. whether it's for you or her, you're not sure. "he does." your response is clipped.
"did he ever tell you why?"
you have never wanted to not talk about kazuha before. this is new. you don't like it. "something about his family. i don't know all the details." you're lying. annoyed, you add, "and even if i did, it wouldn't be my place to share them."
"oh." jiang murmurs. "i thought he would've told you. i guess i'll ask him sometime later."
"...right. you do that." you take a silent breath. you try to start working again, but--
"would he be in the crow's nest?" jiang doesn't look at you, but you can see her ears flushing and her lips curling into the most smitten smile. "just so i, uh, know where to find him and ask."
you're not sure what possesses you, but you give her the answer she's looking for. you're being the bigger person, you remind yourself. that's all. you're just doing as any good person would do. thankfully, you work the rest of the time in silence.
sure enough though, later that day, kazuha and jiang are nowhere to be found. xu liushi said something about them being in the crow's nest together talking about their hometowns. you don't like the pit that opens up in your stomach.
now, don't misunderstand; you don't feel threatened by jiang. not at all. you're not worried about her taking kazuha from right under your nose. no, no, that's not the problem at all.
the problem is that she keeps using you as kazuha information bank of sorts. all you two end up talking about is him, and when you don't give her a straightforward answer, she just goes and asks him directly. and kazuha, being the absolute sweetheart that he is, just goes with the flow, blissfully unaware of the lovesick fool jiang is making herself out to be.
the worst part about all this is that she knows that kazuha is your lover, yet she acts this way anyways. right in front of you -- both of you! does she think you're stupid? it's infuriating!
kazuha catches you mulling over it one night before bed. he's already laying down, ready to sleep, but you're still sitting up, rubbing at your temples. you've been nursing a headache for about a week.
"is everything okay, dove?" he asks sleepily. you twist to look down at him and see his eyes already half-lidded. "are you not going to sleep?"
you comb your fingers through his hair, which has been freed from its usual ponytail. "i'll sleep soon, love." you murmur, chuckling when he yawns. "you've had a long day, no?"
kazuha hums his assent. "you didn't answer the question. is everything okay?" he looks a little more awake now, the beginnings of a frown forming on his face.
this is why you've been sitting back and taking jiang's shit these days. because at the end of the day, you have kazuha beside you. you lay down and laugh a little when he immediately wraps his arms around you. kazuha buries his face in your shoulder and you keep running your fingers through his hair.
"i'm fine, kazuha. promise." you tell him.
kazuha leaves a butterfly kiss on your skin. "are you absolutely sure?"
how could you not be? you kiss the crown of his head as his breathing slows. "absolutely."
you want to say that all your troubles were over after that, but things come to a head by the next morning. the alcor docks in liyue harbor during a routine visit for the sailors to spend time with their families. comfortable as you may have been last night, you can't seem to stay asleep. you struggle out of kazuha's arms (he's got a firm grip, even in his sleep) and get ready for the day, stepping out the cabin to breathe in the fresh air.
before the people wake, liyue harbor is one of the most peaceful places on the planet. it's nothing but you and the gentle slapping of the waves against the sides of the alcor. you take a deep breath, refreshed, and head off the ship for a walk. when you return with some trinkets from an early rising vendor -- some matching tassles for kazuha's sword and your polearm -- who else would you run into but jiang.
you would have walked past her, but she was standing just a little too close to your cabin, turning something over in her fingers. "uh..." you narrow your eyes at her, suspicion hardening your tone. "do you need something?"
"oh, good morning!" jiang spots you then and she lights up, her face red. it's too early for this. "hi, i'm sorry, i just... well... i wanted to give kazuha something."
you don't bother fixing your expression anymore. "it's too early for that. he's probably still asleep."
jiang deflated. "o-oh... then can you give it to him for me? please?" she holds it out to you. it's a little furin that looks handmade. she must've really put some thought into this. "i figured since he was so far from home while the rest of us were here... i-i thought maybe he'd want something to dull the homesickness..."
under any other circumstances, this would be cute. endearing, even. but this is your last fucking straw. you breathe harshly through your nose, your irritation showing through. "jiang, do me a favor and back up, first of all." you shoo her away from your door. she inches back, but you keep gesturing. "back. up." you seethe.
"is something wrong?" she asks.
"for the love of-- you're in front of my cabin at ass o'clock in the morning trying to give my boyfriend a gift." you put special emphasis on 'my boyfriend'. your voice is low and your anger is palpable. you inhale sharply and give her the fakest smile you've ever given anyone in your life. "hold onto the gift and maybe try giving it to him later."
jiang has the audacity to look shocked. "oh! i-i didn't realize, i--"
"of course you didn't." you scoff. "please leave. now. don't wait out here." you don't even wait for her to respond; you walk inside your cabin and slam the door shut with a groan. only after you shut it do you realize that you may have woken kazuha but thankfully, he's already up.
he's just about ready for the day -- fully dressed, save for his scarf. his eyes were already fixed on the door. you feel your face burn; he definitely heard all of that. "good morning," you mutter. you place the tassels you bought on the dresser.
"did jiang do something wrong?" he asks. straight to the point, no cutting corners -- that's just like him. "you seem so upset."
"she was standing in front of the fucking door waiting for you to wake up." you pinch your nose bridge. you don't think you can handle anymore stupidity today and the day has barely begun. "you tell me if she was doing something wrong."
kazuha frowns. "why would she do something like that?"
he seems genuinely confused, but you can't take it. you snap. "are you serious? you haven't noticed the way she's been looking at you?"
"what?"
"kazuha," you laugh bitterly, "there's no fucking way that someone as observant as you couldn't pick up on her obvious crush on you." when he raises his eyebrows, taken aback, you sigh harshly and sit on the bed. "so you're telling me you had no idea."
"is that why you've been acting so strange these days?" kazuha sits beside you and rests his hands over yours. your hands twitch to move away, but he holds them in his own, keeping you in place. "you've been wound so tight lately, but i couldn't put my finger on why. it was because of jiang this whole time?"
you blink at him. "so... you knew something was wrong but you thought it was just me? you weren't paying attention to her at all this entire time?"
kazuha shakes his head. "if it involves romance," he smooths his thumbs over the backs of your hands, "the only person i ever pay attention to is you."
you... don't know what to say.
kazuha keeps talking. "it sounds to me like you've been upset because jiang has been trying to pursue me despite our being together." the smug bastard has the gall to smirk at you. "were you jealous, dove? is that what this is about?"
you slip your hand out of kazuha's and slap his shoulder, embarrassment burning your cheeks. he's not wrong, not in the slightest, but there's no reason for him to say it out loud. "so what if it is?"
kazuha takes your face in his hands and presses a flurry of kisses on your face despite your complaints. "my little angel-" kiss "was so whiny-" kiss "all this time-" kiss "because they were jealous."
"would you shut up?" you give up your fight and just let him chuckle and keep kissing you. this is the kind of affection you really needed, but not at the cost of your pride. it feels so good to be doted on like this after being so high strung for so long. "and i was not whiny. i was angry. get it right."
kazuha kisses your nose. "yes, yes, whatever you say, dove." when he pulls back, he's all smiles, mirth dancing in his eyes. "why don't you tell me why you were so jealous?"
you frown. "don't make me say it."
"i'd like to hear it."
"kazuha, no." when kazuha gives you a faux wounded look, your heart tugs against your will. he even pouts a little, really trying to sell the act. you sigh, defeated. you put your hands over his and mutter your response into his palm.
kazuha leans in close. your face feels like it's on fire. "what was that, dove? i couldn't hear you. will you say it again for me?"
"i said," you raise your voice and quickly lower it, "because you're mine. and she didn't get it."
to make up for all the teasing, kazuha kisses you sweetly and you can't help but kiss back. he guides you through the kiss slowly, like you two have all the time in the world. kazuha breaks the kiss and pecks your lips once, then twice. "that's all i wanted to hear." he murmurs against your lips. "i'm all yours, dove. no one else's."
cheekily, you ask: "promise?"
kazuha kisses you as an answer. you're like putty in his hands; he speeds up the kiss this time, laughing under his breath when you sigh, frustrated. you tug at his bottom lip gently with your teeth and he inhales sharply; that always stops him in his tracks. you pull back to look at him and see a blush quickly crawling onto his face. "you're cute," you mumble.
the blush creeps onto his face faster. kazuha averts his eyes for a second -- he's flustered. "so you say."
rather than answer, you kiss him again, this time licking at the seam of his lips to deepen it. kazuha gives way immediately, sighing into the kiss. his hands drop to your shoulders and his fingers twitch each time your tongue meets his own. he makes a small noise when you cup his jaw with a hand and pull away. kazuha's eyes are hooded and his brows are drawn, likely with irritation at you having broken the kiss. he's so pretty like this, barely hiding the desperation that glitters in his eyes.
kazuha moves to kiss you again but you move down, kissing a path from his jaw down to his neck. kazuha inhales sharply and brings a hand to your head as you plant warm kisses against his skin. "it's a little--" he pauses to sigh. "a little early for this, isn't it, dove?"
you can barely hear him. there's only one thing on your mind besides the lingering irritation. you start to suck on a spot just beneath his jaw and feel his fingers curl in your hair. "'m not gonna do all that today," you mutter. "just hang in there. can you do that?"
kazuha hums shakily and swallows, his adam's apple bobbing in his throat. you move along his neck and suck until purples and reds bloom against his skin. all that can be heard in the room is the sound of your kisses and kazuha's broken sighs. he hisses when you bite him particularly hard; he tugs at your hair when you laugh.
"must you bite so hard--?" kazuha's words are broken by a small sound when you suck at a particularly sensitive spot.
"i told you," you kiss your way to the other side of his neck to make fresh marks, "just hang in there."
it doesn't take much longer before kazuha has matching marks on both sides of his neck. after soothing your final one with a few kisses, you finally pull back to admire your handiwork. suddenly, you don't feel so irritated anymore. even better, kazuha's breathing is a little heavy and his cheeks are flushed pink. he won't even look you in the eyes.
you can't help it; you laugh. "are you alright, kazuha?"
kazuha glances at you. you must be looking at him some kind of way, because his cheeks darken and he averts his eyes again. his hand comes up to his neck, covering a few of the marks. "it stings." he mutters. he sounds a little upset, but you can see the satisfied glow in his eyes.
"good." you kiss his forehead one more time before getting off the bed and heading to the mirror to fix your hair. behind you, kazuha takes a second before grabbing his scarf and pulling it on. normally you'd be a little upset about that, but when he stands beside you in the mirror to get a better look at the marks you left, you grin while he squints at you. his scarf isn't hiding much from view.
"you're devious." kazuha says. "and what do you suppose i say to anybody who asks what happened?"
you think for a moment before you shrug. kazuha rolls his eyes at you. you head to the door and open it. your boyfriend tugs his scarf up higher and steps outside. "how does breakfast sound?" you ask him as you walk.
kazuha -- whose ears are red you notice -- sighs. "it sounds nice." he sounds resigned. not upset -- he just knows that he's been beat. it's not often that he's on the receiving end of this. he slips his hand into yours as you walk.
and when you walk past jiang, you relish in the way her face falls. she hides the furin behind her back and walks away, and you don't feel an ounce of regret.
✦ yeah... yeah this feels good. feels good as fuck. i feel strong. yeah.
# — tags: fluff, lots o' kissing, maybe a neck kiss here and there, lil bit of teasing, zuzu is losing their actual fucking mind
# — notes: ..i swear i'm just your average kazuha enjoyer. reblogs and reactions are greatly appreciated, and i hope you enjoy!
wanna join the tag list?
✧ — 🍁 — ✧
when kissing kazuha, you always take your sweet time.
it's languid, the way your lips move against his. slow and almost methodical, as if kissing him is a science. kazuha's return kisses are light; playful. teasing and impish, the way he grins into each kiss; passionate, the way he appeases you when he's teased you for too long.
your fingers rest comfortably on the back of kazuha's neck while his hand rests on your cheek. from up close, you can see the gold in his eyes -- it shimmers as he scans your features. for what, you're not sure.
"looking for something?" you murmur your question into the space between.
kazuha's eyes jump from your lips and back up. "no," he murmurs in return. "just admiring." when you fluster slightly, kazuha leans in and brushes his lips over yours, drawing a gasp from your chest. "you're a work of art, my love. so divine." his voice drops to a whisper.
you're at a loss for words. all you can do is kiss him fully and pour all of the devotion you feel into the gesture. kazuha meets you halfway and does the same, his mouth warm against your own.
soft. so impossibly soft, he is. the gentle pecking of you do turns into longer, slower kisses. no longer can you see the way kazuha's eyes are hooded when he pulls back and looks at you. you can only feel his body pressing closer and closer to yours as your kisses deepen. you lick at the seam of his lips and he grants you access, opening just enough for you to brush your tongue against his. kazuha shivers subtly in your hold and you can feel the heat rising up his neck each time your tongues meet.
the kiss comes to a standstill when you gently take his bottom lip between your teeth. you tug ever so slightly, and you can hear his sharp intake of breath. when you pull away, you see the color that's resting high on his cheeks. kazuha's dazed by you, and you think you can almost see the hearts that are dancing in his irises.
you try to say something witty but kazuha is kissing you again, feverish this time. he's picking up the pace, his fingers twitching against your skin when you sigh into his mouth. it's a bit of an afterthought, but you realize that he tastes of the tea that you two drank earlier. roses bloom behind your lids whenever kazuha parts his lips for you -- only you. the sound of your lips connecting makes is like music to your ears.
usually, when kissing kazuha, you take your sweet time. but there are times when he gets impatient -- when he loses his composure and leans into the greed that he keeps locked away.
you satisfy his cravings for you by slowing down the kiss. you try to get him to savor it. this time, it is you who pulls away first. kazuha is the one who chases after your lips this time, a frustrated huff leaving him. you chuckle and he pinches your side in an effort to quiet you.
"take your time, kazuha." you croon at him. you keep yourself just out of reach, much to his annoyance. "i'm not going anywhere."
it's not often that he's on the receiving end of such taunts. kazuha narrows his hazy eyes at you, his brows furrowed. "i'm aware." he mutters. "but i'd prefer if you stopped teasing me."
"you can dish it out but you can't take it, huh?"
"you're really pushing it, dove."
"what's the magic word?" a grin splits your face when kazuha rolls his eyes. he's getting more and more antsy by the second, as indicated by the way he's drumming his fingers on your side. you think he's going to pinch you again, but he doesn't. he stays quiet instead. "not gonna say it?" you ask. "then can you let go of--"
kazuha's arms encircle your waist and he drops his head onto your shoulder with a sigh. "...are you really going to make me say it?"
you snicker. "maybe. do you want more kisses?"
"when did my petal become so cruel?" kazuha turns his head and noses at your neck. he finds your most sensitive spot in an instant -- he has you memorized by now. lips brush against your skin and when you shiver, you can feel his smug smile. "is something the matter, petal? you've gone stiff."
in pure kazuha fashion, he's trying to regain the upper hand. if only everyone else knew he resorted to such underhanded tactics. "you still haven't asked," you breathe, your voice tight. "you have to let go of me."
kazuha hums and lazily presses kiss after kiss against your neck. "but you're warm." you can feel his words more than you can hear them. he licks a slow stripe up to your jaw and kisses the skin there, a low chuckle rumbling in his chest when your hand comes up to grab at his hair to keep him in place. "oh? you want more?"
cocky bastard.
you struggle to find your voice as he starts to suck on your skin. teeth nip and your neck stings with the creation of fresh marks. you can feel the way kazuha steadily paints your neck with purples and reds. "yes," you stammer, your voice airy, "but at least i'm not afraid to admit it." you challenge him with your words. it's the only way you two do battle with each other.
"and who said i was afraid?" kazuha stops and straightens himself out to look you in the eye. there's something richer in his eyes -- something darker. goosebumps start to litter your skin.
"you still haven't asked." you can't believe he actually took the bait. "if you're not scared, then say it. tell me what you want."
kazuha's stare is intense. the autumnal shades of red in his eyes threaten to take you under. he's quiet as he thinks of the right words to say, and you have to keep yourself afloat in the meantime. then, he finally speaks. so plain, so simple. "kiss me."
it sounds like a demand, but you know it's a request. kazuha's bandaged hand comes up and rests comfortably on your neck. his grip is firm -- not squeezing, but comfortable. wrapped fingers encircle your neck and flex, and your pulse flutters beneath his fingertips. in turn, you gently rest your fingers on kazuha's pulse point, your nails lightly raking his skin. you can feel him run his fingers over the marks he'd made earlier.
"again," you whisper. "one more time."
kazuha obeys. "kiss me, petal." his eyes drop to your lips. back to square one. "please."
you'd be a monster if you denied him. you lean in and oblige him.
when kazuha kisses you back, he takes his sweet time. he sighs into your mouth, pleased, and the cycle begins once more.
✦ ... i literally cannot say anything to defend myself. y'all know what i'm about.
✦ but okay look, in my defense, the kazuha x reader tag is drying out and i want kazu kissing content. i had to take matters into my own hands, your honor.
# — tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, confessions, reader's got a guilty conscience, beidou's protective over kazuha (as she should)
# — notes: here's the official apology for i like u! i'm gonna go straight to sleep after i post this, heheh. reblogs and reactions are greatly appreciated, and i hope you enjoy!
wanna join the tag list?
✧ — 🍁 — ✧
so kazuha's been ignoring you.
which, okay, you admit, is probably something you deserve. you knew this whole "friends with benefits" thing was a bad idea from the get-go. you don't know why you didn't just stop after the first night. actually, no. you're lying. you know exactly why you didn't stop, and the answer is simple: it's because of kazuha.
you want to put the blame on kazuha. oh, you so badly want to drag him under the bus with you. after all, it's his fault you're like this, no? who told him to be so perfect? who told him to worm his way under your skin and straight to your heart faster than anyone ever has before? did you ask him to make you fall in love with him? no! no, you did not!
you just wanted to fall in love quietly and love him from afar, but no, kazuha wouldn't let you. he just had to be so gentle with you, didn't he? of course he had to touch you like you were the most delicate being in the world. of course he had to speak to you so tenderly; he just had to treat you like you were the most important person in his life, didn't he? this whole situation is his fault just as much as it is yours!
you prop your chin on your hand as you look out the classroom window and sigh. as badly as you want to blame him, you know you can't. this is all your fault.
it doesn't help that beidou and her cronies were making you pay for it, either. beidou's a nice person -- really, she is -- but ever since the day kazuha just up and walked out on you, she's been going out of her way to make you feel guilty for what you've done.
she chewed you out via text message (which you haven't deleted yet -- are you some kind of masochist?), berated you in person, and shoots you the nastiest glares every time she sees you. at this point, you can feel her presence before you actually see her. her gang of friends give you glares too -- and they're everywhere. there's no escaping this.
you peek down at your phone beneath your desk and skim the messages beidou sent you.
[beidou]: don't even give me that "i love him back" shit either.
[beidou]: because if you really loved kazuha, if you really, REALLY loved him, you wouldn't have suggested something like this.
[beidou]: he CRIED. over YOU. and you and i both know that kazuha NEVER fucking cries.
your eyes begin to well up with tears. you keep reading anyway.
[beidou]: kazuha's been distraught for WEEKS and you haven't made any attempt to actually fix this. i saw you reach out to him and then you just stop? what the hell?
[beidou]: look, i can't tell you to stay away from him. it's been hard enough keeping him from breaking his silence and contacting you as is. he loves you so, so goddamn much that it literally makes me sick.
[beidou]: why did you do it? what was the point in this? if you do love him back, why did you start this?
she sent you that a few days ago. you never answered. you have an answer to her question, though. why did you start sleeping with kazuha?
well, because you're an addict. that's the short and long of it, anyways. you grew so addicted to kazuha that you couldn't stop yourself from taking that final step, from crossing that line. but as soon as you did -- as soon as you pulled him into your arms after that first night, you felt a cavern open up in your stomach. you went too far.
that night, you buried your nose in kazuha's hair and cried. you hated yourself -- you still do, even now -- for being so impatient, so greedy for kazuha's affection that you would sleep with him without telling him how you felt. you thought that if you told him, he would belittle you for being so disgusting, for stooping so low just to get what you want from him.
but... he didn't. he never did. turns out, he just... loved you with all he had. and all you did was take. you took, and took, and took, and now look where that got you.
you sniff and tuck your phone away, pressing the heel of your palms against your eyes. you're in class right now -- you shouldn't be thinking about this whole ordeal right now, but you can't help it. it's right about now when you would text kazuha to hang out to help escape your problems (he's your escape, your own little hideaway), but you can't do that anymore, can you?
you hear a sharp call of your name from the front of the classroom. "are you alright?" your professor asks. "are you in pain? should i call someone?"
shit. you made it too obvious. well, you figure, you may as well use this chance to leave. you pack your stuff. "i'll be fine," you lie, "but i'll just go rest. i'm sorry for disturbing the class." you don't even wait for your professor's response -- you speed walk out of there as fast as you can with your heart resting in shattered pieces in your hands.
----
you decide that the only way to escape your problems is by partying. (you're aware that it's a bad idea, but you don't know what else to do.)
xinyan's throwing a party at her house -- it's more of an after-party since she had a performance earlier in the day. you'd go up to her and say that you loved it, but you didn't go. maybe next time. for now, you bask in the heavy bass of the music, the loud chattering of the partygoers, the smell of weed smoke and alcohol that floats in the air.
it's mind-numbing. good.
the air does get a bit stifling, so you head up the stairs and into a bedroom that you remember has a balcony. fortunately, the room is empty, as is the balcony. you head out and lean on the marble railing with a sigh. there's enough alcohol in your system to give you some peace of mind, but clearly, it's not enough. you're still thinking about it.
you close your eyes and take a deep breath. it smells like summer rain.
"come on, it's not gonna kill you!"
kazuha eyed you warily from inside the building. "i'd rather not get myself wet." he called from his spot. "can't you just come inside? why don't we watch a movie instead?"
you huffed. it was the first thunderstorm of the summer and the hiss of the rain on the pavement was too enticing for you to ignore. you ran outside your dorm in flip-flips, shorts and a t-shirt and let the cool droplets soak the stubborn heat off your skin. it smelled heavenly and it was too relaxing to enjoy alone, so you tried to get kazuha out here, but...
kazuha waved for you to come indoors. he didn't like the idea at all -- probably because of his hair. you already agreed to help him with it when you went inside later, but he still refused.
you marched over to him and put your hands on your hips. "you're being a total killjoy right now, y'know."
kazuha blinked at you. there was something shimmering in his eyes. you thought it was the reflection of the rain. "i don't mean to be," he said. "also i don't want to have to change my clothes. it's an unnecessary hassle."
"you're an unnecessary hassle." you muttered.
"you wound me, little bird." kazuha placed his hand over his heart.
he opened his mouth to say something else but you grabbed his wrist and tugged him out into the rain with you before he could. kazuha made a sharp noise of surprise and quickly dug into his pocket to toss his phone in the building. "i can't believe you." he called over the downpour.
you only grinned at him. "it isn't all that bad, c'mon. doesn't it feel nice?"
kazuha narrowed his eyes at you and pushed his now wet hair off of his forehead. it was your turn to blink at him. "i won't give you the satisfaction of saying yes."
your brain stalled for a moment, but you did your best to make it work again. "you know how... oh, oh! y'know how people dance in the rain? let's do that!"
kazuha, still unamused, raised an eyebrow at you. "to what music, exactly?"
you feel giddy. that wasn't a no! "i dunno... what was that song you were singing to yourself the other day?"
you thought you saw kazuha flinch. his cheeks started to redden -- just a little. he turned his eyes elsewhere. "that's a rather slow song," he informed. "unless you're suggesting that we--"
again, you shut kazuha up by tugging him close to you. you were pressed chest to chest like this, his hands in yours. kazuha's lips parted ever so slightly in a silent gasp. you couldn't help but look at them for a moment. "start singing, kazu', c'mon." you murmured.
kazuha was quiet for a little while, his eyes never leaving your face before he cleared his throat. "alright, then..."
and there in the rain you two swayed, with kazuha's hands firmly on your waist. you couldn't help but smile the entire time, but the lyrics made you look at him a few times. each time, kazuha looked back at you for no longer than a few seconds before he would look away, his ears growing redder by the second. it was like he was singing to you -- about you. but that couldn't have been right.
when he finished, you sighed, content. "we can go inside now," you beamed at him, "thanks for dancing with me, kazuha."
kazuha stared at you for a second before his gaze dropped to your lips. you swallowed nervously. he's never been good at hiding that. "before we go inside," he murmured, "just one more thing."
he took your face in his hands and leaned in close, close enough to brush his lips on yours. panicking, you commented, "isn't this kinda like the notebook?"
kazuha laughed, the sound light and full of amusement. he kissed you sweetly before you could say anything else, his thumb brushing over your cheek.
when you parted, he chuckled at the dazed look on your face. "just like the notebook." he said against your lips before pulling you back in for another kiss.
you giggle at the memory the scent brings you. kazuha mentioned that he didn't want to catch a cold, yet he was the first of the two of you to get sick. he forced you to take care of him out of spite, which caused you to get sick. he called it karma, but stayed by your side regardless.
as fond as your memories with kazuha may be, you feel your heart twisting and yanking in every which direction. god, you miss him. just as the tears start to flow, you hear the door to the balcony open behind you and an all-too familiar voice speak.
"is it alright if i join you?" he asks.
your back goes ramrod straight. it's kazuha. your throat closes on you suddenly, making you cough.
"oh, i'm sorry." his voice is so soft. always so soft. so gentle. "i didn't mean to startle you. i just--"
"needed to get away for a bit?" you finish his sentence. you wish you could see his face. what does he look like right now? horrified? repulsed? "yeah, me too." you sigh.
kazuha's silent. he's so quiet that, for a moment, you wonder if he just turned around and left. but he surprises you; you hear footsteps come up beside you and in your peripheral, you see kazuha lean on the rail as well. you can't bring yourself to look at him.
"how... have you been?" kazuha is the first to speak. you almost flinch at the sound of his voice. "it's been a while."
nearly a month, you almost scream. it's nearly been a fucking month. you swallow back the torrent of words that rushes to your lips. you're in no position to dump your emotions on him anymore. it's a miracle he's even here -- don't scare him off.
"i've been getting by." your reply comes out with far more ease than you were expecting. "..you?"
a stupid question, but kazuha still nods in the corner of your eye. "me too."
then, silence. a painful, suffocating silence. you still feel a dampness on your cheeks. quickly, you swipe them away with a sniff. you miss the way kazuha turns to face you.
what now? what are you supposed to say to him? why is he even still here? he should hate you, should be staying miles and miles away from you! you didn't think it possible, but your heart breaks more upon hearing that kazuha's just been "getting by". he doesn't deserve that -- he should be thriving without you. without you, he should feel so much lighter and yet, beidou's messages flash through your mind. kazuha's been miserable without you.
miserable with you, miserable without you. either way, the common denominator is you. you feel the need to hide yourself from view.
the silence stretches on and on for what feels like an eternity before you finally crumble, your remains laying at kazuha's feet. "i'm sorry." your voice is so tiny.
"what--?"
"i know sorry doesn't cut it. god, i know sorry can never fix any of the pain i caused you, but i don't know what else to say, kazuha, i--" you inhale sharply. the words keep coming and you don't know how to stop them. you lay yourself bare before him, every part of you reflecting in the moonlight. "i know that what we had was... i-it was a terrible fucking idea, i just-- i don't know how to explain it without sounding too pathetic, but--"
kazuha calls your name softly. "you're not--"
you don't let him finish. "i guess i just... i wanted you to myself." you laugh derisively at yourself. "a stupid fucking idea, i know, i know -- you're not some item and you don't belong to me, i know. i just-- i-i just..."
kazuha's hand comes to rest on your shoulder. you don't realize that you're shaking until he squeezes you. again, he tries calling your name. "listen to me, please." he pleads with you. you don't hear him and continue to chatter, but he squeezes you again, making you look at him. he looks so desperate, so pained by your words that you feel a lump form in your throat.
"kazuha, i--"
"all i ever wanted to hear," he says, the shadow of a smile ghosting over his lips, "was for you to say 'i love you' and mean it. i held out hope for the past three weeks because... well, because i know you." his hand moves from your shoulder to your hand. "i think i have the fortune of knowing you better than anyone else."
you shake your head and start to retort, but he cuts you off.
"i think you felt just as trapped by that arrangement as i did. am i wrong?" when you nod, kazuha squeezes your hand gently. he's so warm. always warm. "i figured as much."
"it's just... by the time i realized what i'd done, i knew it was too late for me to confess." you finally manage a proper sentence. "kazuha, all i ever wanted was for you to know how i felt-- it was never supposed to go on for so long, i-i never meant to hurt you like that."
"it hurt, yes." kazuha confirms. "for three years, it hurt. i thought that... i always thought that you felt the same, but deep down, i... thought that maybe you didn't; that you were using me."
you feel the blood leave your face. "i would never, kazuha, i--"
kazuha nods. "i know. pessimism aside, i... i know. i knew you wouldn't." he taps your forehead with two fingers -- a playful gesture he often does when you're being obtuse. "did you forget that i know you like the back of my hand?"
you press your lips together as you remember beidou's words. "but you cried, kazuha. i made you cry. why do you sound like you forgive me? you shouldn't forgive me so easily, not when i-- i don't deserve--"
"you do." kazuha's voice is firm and his eyes are serious. "if you didn't feel any regret, then maybe my answer would change. but you do. better yet, you love me back. don't you?"
"of course i do!"
you gasp when kazuha leans in close, his lips brushing yours. it's a feeling that's so familiar, yet so foreign to you. it sends electricity rocketing through your body from the crown of your head to the tips of your toes. "then say it. indulge me, little bird. do you love me?" he whispers against your mouth.
you shiver and shut your eyes. "more than anything. god, you don't understand, i--"
kazuha presses his lips to yours quickly. "tell me. please." his words are coated with a hint of desperation.
"i love you." finally, finally those words leave your body. you pour your all into your declaration, and you hope kazuha picks up on it. "i love you so, so much kazuha. i'm so sorry."
"again," kazuha says. he kisses you slowly this time. "say it again."
you oblige him. "i love you."
another kiss, even slower. "again."
"love you, kazuha," you breathe into his mouth, "love you so much."
kazuha hums into the next kiss, the sound pleased. when he pulls away, he rests his forehead on yours. "that's all i ever needed to hear, little bird."
"i'll say it as many times as i need to," you whisper. "however long it takes for you to believe me."
kazuha kisses your forehead and you can feel his smile. "i believe you just fine," he says, "though i wouldn't mind hearing it again."
you know he's joking, but you say it again, very, very seriously. "i love you so much," you whisper. you sound fragile -- raw. your emotions are so visible, thrown out everywhere for the world -- for kazuha -- to see.
he accepts every word, every syllable that comes out of your mouth. he pulls you into his arms tightly and rests his head on your shoulder. you squeeze him just as tight and take a shaky breath. he, too, smells like the summer rain.
"i love you too," he finally says into your shoulder. "more than there are stars in the sky.
there may not be any rain to wash away your worries, but kazuha's embrace cleanses them all the same. and as the party rages on in the floor below, kazuha begins to sway you two side to side, humming a quiet tune for only you to hear.
✦ i feel good ... yeah, i feel nice abt this one. couldn't not write this... though i am a lil worried that the ending is rushed 🧍🏽 i do hope you liked it all the same! time for bed, it's 1 am
# — warnings: mentions of blood, injury, violence, mentions of character death (confirmed minor character death, no real MCD)
# — tags: spider-man!kazuha, nursing student!reader, physical hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, confessions, kisses, a little bit of arguing, lots of banter, kazuha almost dies (HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY DIE, REST ASSURED)
# — notes: always wanted to make a title like that. (edit: i'm crawling on my hands and knees forcing this in y'all's face, LOL) as always, reblogs and reactions are greatly appreciated and i hope you enjoy!
wanna join the tag list?
✧ — 🍁🕷— ✧
the whole city saw it happen. everyone, all eight million people, watched in mutual shock and horror as the beloved vigilante known as spider-man was bested by the newest supervillain that terrorized the city streets.
to be fair, kazuha tries to reason with himself, he didn't go down without a fight. and at the end of it all, he still technically came out on top. the villain put on quite the show but grew too greedy in the end; once kazuha figured out their weakness, it was easy to figure out how to take them out. doing so was easier said than done, and it certainly wasn't ideal for the villain to have to die in the end, but with them out of the way, the city was safe — you were safe — and that's all that mattered.
well, sort of.
kazuha's never worried too much about his public appearance. it's not like he was keeping the city safe for the attention. in fact, he doesn't like it very much — he actually thinks he hates it now, especially since the villain somehow televised most of the entire battle. the entire city had to see him get stabbed and knocked unconscious. the end of the fight and the villain's defeat didn't seem to be shown to the public, so essentially, the people think that spider-man is dead.
kazuha stops his shambling down the alleyway and leans on the concrete wall. "they may not have to think that much longer..." he groans to himself.
barely conscious and annoyed beyond belief, kazuha has been trying to feel his way around the backstreets of the city to find your apartment for over an hour now. with the extent of his injuries, the average person would have dropped dead over thirty minutes ago; kazuha considers himself lucky that he managed to make it this far. he would have swung here, but he's fairly sure he'd widen one of several gaping wounds, and he'd rather not do that when he's so close to his destination. but close or not, his body is finally reaching its limits. it's hard to tell if he's made it to your building or not. he'd planned to scale the wall all the way to your balcony, but he doesn't think he can lift another finger.
kazuha slowly eases himself to the ground and rests his back against the wall with a weak chuckle. he can practically hear your enraged yelling now. you'd probably panic at the sight of him and make some snarky comment about him interrupting yet another one of your extensive study sessions. you'd force him to lay still and tell him to shut up every couple of seconds even if he wasn't saying anything, and he'd probably laugh at you.
"it's a shame," he whispers to no one, "i can't do that anymore."
kazuha's breathing becomes uneven. he may not be a nurse like you (he can hear your rebuttals already), but he's sure he's dying. the sleep that's creeping up on him feels oddly final; he knows for a fact that if he closes his eyes now, he's never going to open them again. but he wants to keep them open — he wants so badly to see you one last time, even if only for a second.
you, the only person he's ever loved; the only person who means anything to him; the only person left in this world who cares about him.
kazuha wheezes a laugh. technically, you don't care about him; he's long since pieced together that you've fallen in love with the masked version of him, yet he still swung by almost every day to see you.
"i'm a glutton for punishment, aren't i?" he murmurs.
...he misses you. he's going to miss you.
kazuha pulls his mask off and rests the back of his head on the wall with a sigh. at least he's going to die having kissed you at least once. the memory brings a smile to his face, but it quickly crumbles. he promised he would come back safely. he even sealed it with a kiss, and yet here he sits, barely clinging to life alone in an alleyway.
"...i'm sorry." he whispers.
"...zuha..?"
kazuha blinks slowly, his vision dotted with black spots. did someone call him just now?
"oh my fucking god..! kazuha!"
there's the quick slapping of feet on pavement approaching, but kazuha doesn't move to see who it is. there's no real use in that, he thinks tiredly. with what little strength he has remaining, he tugs the mask back over his face. whoever it was that called him already saw him in the suit, but he may as well try to salvage what little privacy he has left, if any.
the footsteps stop and the person's once distant voice comes in clear from right beside him. "no, no, no, don't cover your face! don't hide from me, please, i--"
kazuha frowns from behind the mask. that voice... it sounds an awful lot like... you?
"no," he rasps. "that can't be right."
your voice doesn't go away. if anything, it gets clearer. "what can't be right? kazu-- i-i mean, spider-man, you have to get up!" you touch his arm gingerly, a silent request for permission to do so. when kazuha doesn't move, you pull his arm up and drape it over your shoulders. he groans loudly and you begin to spew apologies. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, just bear with me, okay?"
in a moment of desperation, kazuha's brain tries to switch itself back on. it is you — you're actually here, trying to help him. the heavens took pity on him and let him be with you one last time, but now that you're actually here, he finds himself scrambling to find ways to stay alive for just a moment longer. unfortunately, his body's exhausted just about all of its energy reserves — he's nearly dead in the water.
that doesn't stop you, though. despite all odds (and kazuha's agonized noises), you put your all into helping him into your building, into the elevator, and into your apartment. it takes far longer than you would have liked, but carrying a half-dead body isn't exactly easy for non-morticians. the entire way up, you could hear spider-man mumbling incoherently, the occasional apology coming in clear.
"if you're really sorry," you grunt as you lay him on your carpet as gently as possible, "you'll stay alive."
kazuha tries to laugh, but it comes out as a cross between a pant and a groan. "i'm... not too sure about that one, dove..."
you press your fingers to his pulse point; just barely a flutter. you need to act, and fast.
on any other day, you'd bemoan your status as spider-man's personal caretaker. you can't even call yourself his doctor -- or nurse, for that matter. you're just a nursing student who just so happened to stumble across him one day in the very same alleyway you just found him in.
but today, you have not one life in your hands, but two. and you'd be damned if you let either of them slip through your fingers.
you rush to your linen closet and sweep an entire shelf clean of medical tools and supplies. you're going to need everything you've got. you find a sizable hole in the suit and cut away the cloth on spider-man's (kazuha's?) torso with a pair of scissors.
the damage is almost as bad as you thought it was; there are four large clean cuts amongst a palette of bruises on his body, each one steadily oozing blood. with the way he's (barely) breathing, you'd assume that he's broken quite a few ribs, and that doesn't even begin to cover what you assume is similar lacerations on his arms and legs that are hidden beneath the suit.
"first things first," you whisper to yourself, your voice trembling. it's going to be a long night.
it takes almost eight hours to stabilize spider-man.
thanks to your lack of expertise and access to high-end supplies, it takes far longer for you to get his body to stop going in and out of shock. but in spite of it all, you did it. once you wrap the final bandage, you sit back and look at the carnage. there's blood everywhere; you're going to have to trash this carpet. the thought almost makes you laugh. almost.
now that you have the time to think about something other than keeping someone alive, you find yourself scanning over spider-man's slumbering body. how were you supposed to explain any of this to him when he woke up? he wouldn't be surprised to know where he was, but you remember what you saw when you found him.
how were you supposed to tell kazuha that you found out his secret? do you even tell him at all? how do you tell him?
your thoughts are halted by a yawn. tears spring to your eyes with how big it is. maybe you're still thinking too hard; after all this, you need time to process — time to rest. so, you climb onto your couch, lay yourself out, and let exhaustion take you under.
you awake to the sound of your balcony door opening.
you shoot upright and squint and shield your eyes immediately. it's impossibly bright outside; did you sleep until morning? you blink back the vertigo and your vision clears to see spider-man with one foot out the door. you may not be fully awake, but you jump to your feet anyways, panicking. "wait!" you yell at him.
spider-man doesn't flinch, but he does stop. he looks over his shoulder at you, the gesture uncharacteristically cold for him. you feel your heart sink. "you're finally awake." he says evenly. "good afternoon."
"afternoon?" you parrot back. you fumble for your phone and check the time. sure enough, it's well into the afternoon — not only that, but you slept for over 24 hours straight. you gape, but then remember what you sat up to do. when you look back at him, you see spider-man perching on the edge of your balcony, ready to leave. "no, no, stop, seriously! wait a second, dammit!"
"i'm afraid i can't," he barely turns to face you again. "i have to go now."
"what about your injuries?"
"eighteen hours of sleep was more than enough for me to regain my strength." spider-man faces the city again. "now, if you'll excuse me."
you ball your hand into a fist at your side. why isn't he listening to you? why isn't he trying to crack a joke with you? why does it feel like he's never going to come back? if your heart sinks any lower, you think you're going to throw up.
what can you say to make him stay? he's so close to leaving. there's a lump the size of a rock in your throat and the words become stuck. you need to think of something. say something, anything!
"kazuha, please... don't go."
that gives him pause. you exhale, relieved, when spider-man — no, kazuha — hops down to stand on your balcony properly. finally, he turns to face you completely. you notice that the holes you made in his suit have been closed; he must have found your sewing kit while you were sleeping.
kazuha's shoulders sag. "i can't stay here." he says your name so softly, the sound of it jostles the lump in your throat. "i have to leave."
you swallow thickly. "and do what, almost get yourself killed again?" you don't know how the words are coming to you so easily. "i don't think so."
"in my defense," he tries to joke, "i nearly get myself killed every day."
it feels so sick to you, seeing the man who you'd barely managed to resuscitate make light of everything that's happened. he will never know of the four times his pulse completely stopped, of the hours you spent choking back tears as you desperately tried to keep him alive. you're barely holding it together now as you look him in the face — you still haven't even had time to process the fact that you've fallen in love with kazuha twice over.
molten tears sting your eyes. "am i a joke to you?" your throat tightens and your vision blurs.
you wonder what expression kazuha is making beneath that mask. the fact that you can't see his face — the fact that he still won't let you — only makes your face burn hotter. "no," he says. he says it like you've personally offended him. "never, i--"
"then stay." you demand. your vision blurs with unshed tears. there's just too much to process. "please, just... stay."
kazuha seems to consider your request. then, he walks further in your apartment. there's still so much distance between you two. is he doing that on purpose? he's silent for a while before he pulls the mask off, revealing his face. before you stands kazuha, the barista you've been seeing for the past couple of months. something akin to regret swims in his autumn colored eyes.
you bristle. "don't look at me like that."
"like what?"
"like you want to leave." you barely manage to get the words out. "like you don't want to be here anymore." when kazuha doesn't say anything right away, you feel your heart crack. "is this really that painful for you?"
kazuha frowns, his pretty features marred by regret and something else you can't quite place. "you were never supposed to find out this way." he sighs quietly. "you weren't supposed to find out at all."
you feel tears sting your eyes. so you were going to start a relationship with a man who was hiding a secret as big as this one? was he really never planning on telling you this? "why?" is all you can manage.
"for your safety." kazuha's response is quick, almost sharp. his brows twitch downwards.
"why?" you feel like a broken record. "i could've handled knowing something like this, i--"
"songbird," kazuha comes closer to you and you shudder subtly. you're not used to hearing that name come from his lips. "if someone found out that you knew my secret, there would be serious trouble. and i... i can't let anything happen to you. i won't let anything happen to you."
and yet here you stand with a single tear slipping from your eye. you're not sure what it is that's breaking your heart. it could be many things, really: it could be the fact that you're relieved to know that in the end, you were in love with kazuha all along, or that you've been keeping him alive for months without knowing, or that he literally died in your arms several times during the night, and had you not resuscitated him, you would have had to unmask his corpse.
there's just so much weighing on you, and you're nowhere near prepared (nor awake) enough to handle it all.
kazuha's in front of you in an instant, his hand coming up to rest on your cheek and swipe the tear away. he calls your name softly, like it's a fragile thing. he's been treating you that way this entire time, you realize. "don't cry, please." he almost begs.
"i just don't understand," your voice cracks. "how long were you going to-- to lie to me, kazuha?"
it's kazuha's turn to crumble. he visibly winces, clearly bothered by your choice of words. it's harsh, but you're right; he's been lying to you as both spider-man and as himself. "however long i could." he admits. more tears roll down your cheeks and he cups your face and rests his forehead on yours. "please believe me. it was for your own good, dove. i never intended to hurt you. that's the last thing i ever wanted."
"i know," you sniff. "i know, but..." you're at a loss for words. you stop for a moment and just bask in how warm he feels. the silence you share is weighted; so heavy that it closes your throat and nearly chokes you. kazuha's gloved fingers swipe your cheeks free of tears, however endless they may seem.
"what if i'd lost you?" you finally ask. "what if-- what if i couldn't help you? what if i ki--"
"you wouldn't have." kazuha cuts you off quickly. "i knew that you wouldn't. you have my gratitude. i literally owe you my life. but.."
"but..?" you echo. "but what?"
"i can't entrust that job to you any longer." kazuha's hands leave your face and you shiver at the loss of warmth. "i can't..." a pained expression makes its way across his face. "i can't see you anymore, dove. i have to go."
kazuha doesn't make any move to leave just yet, but you grab his hand, keeping him in place. it's almost funny -- he said he had to go, yet he curls his fingers when you take his hand, tightening his grip on you. "i can still help you!" you insist. "d-don't just cut me out-- i can help you, so let me help!"
kazuha shakes his head. "and run the risk of you getting hurt? no. i can't do that."
"kazuha, please--"
he calls your name, soft but firm. "i told you, no."
"i was always at risk of getting hurt! what's so different now?"
that doesn't seem to sit well with kazuha. something dark skitters across his face. "you're too important to me. i need you to stay safe, and... and if that means that i have to keep you away, then so be it."
"what the hell?" you throw kazuha's hand away from you. "you've been doing this ever since--" you stutter for a second, your emotions and memories coming in too fast for you to process. "fuck, you've been doing this since we met! making decisions without asking me how i feel!"
kazuha reaches towards you, but you slap his hand away.
"i take you in and patch you up once, and suddenly you decide that i'm your personal doctor. did you ever ask me if i wanted to help? no! you just kept coming back!" the words flow out of you faster than a rushing river current. "you dumped the responsibility of keeping you alive on my shoulders without my consent, and now that i'm doing it, you suddenly want to take it away -- again without asking me if i'm okay with it!"
"dove, breathe."
"oh, fuck you." you hiss. your head hurts. "i'm not going to let you jerk me around anymore, kazuha. i can't do that." a fresh wave of tears hits you, but you blink them back. "i don't care what you say; you're stuck with me whether you like it or not. you made this bed, so you better lie in it, dammit."
kazuha just stares at you. he's silent as you sniff and catch your breath from your outburst. something about his silence feels so condescending, so oppressive. something tells you that you're not getting through to him. then, after a long pause, he speaks.
"you're right." he says.
what?
"huh?" you reply, too stunned for words.
kazuha gives you a wry smile. "you're completely right. i dragged you into this and it would be... improper of me to push you out of it." he looks so pained by his words -- like the weight of his actions is finally coming to crush him. "i pulled you in all because i..." he trails off and looks past you.
"you what, kazuha?" you move in an attempt to meet his eyes, but he avoids you. is he finally going to tell you why he did this? "why did you keep coming back here?"
something so vulnerable and raw crosses kazuha's face and he doesn't catch it in time. the sight of it makes your eyes widen. his jaw sets and he finally meets your eyes. he looks so serious -- you're not used to it. as if he can hear your thoughts, kazuha exhales slowly, and the tension leaves with his breath. he seems to be his usual self once more.
"because i was in love with you." kazuha says after a beat. "and i'm standing here because i still am."
you balk. as obvious as it should have been based on how you two have been dancing around each other for the past couple of months, the idea of kazuha liking you back in earnest -- the thought of him loving you -- just never crossed your mind. you thought yourself alone in your intense feelings, and you were okay with it. you still had kazuha's affection at the end of the day; you were content with what you had.
perhaps it was because your feelings had split between kazuha and spider-man that you believed your feelings to be one-sided. spider-man could never have loved you back -- your intense emotions would be a hindrance to him. so by that logic, you automatically assumed the same must be the case for kazuha.
but it's not. it never was. spider-man and kazuha are the same person. and he's in love with you.
kazuha keeps talking. "i latched onto you, songbird." he huffs a laugh, the sound derisive. "it was a desperate move on my part. clinging to the one person who'd shown interest in me -- to both sides of me. i couldn't stand the thought of being without you. i still can't."
"then--"
"but there are some sacrifices that must be made." kazuha's words are firm, but his voice wavers. his whole expression shifts, and you can see just how uncertain he is about all of this. he gives you a tight smile. "if i have to lose you to keep you safe, then i'd lose you a million times over. i would do anything if it means keeping you out of harm's way."
you don't speak and for a while, neither does kazuha. the two of you let his words marinate and you can see plain as day just how affected he truly is by this decision. now that you're thinking about it, you think that this sounds scripted -- like kazuha made this decision and kept it on the back burner as a last resort. but if that's the case, then there's one thing he didn't account for: the depth of his feelings.
tentatively, you reach up and brush kazuha's face with the tips of your fingers. he blinks at you but doesn't pull away. you cup his face in one hand and sigh softly. "you don't really want to leave," you whisper. "do you?"
kazuha shuts his eyes and leans into your touch. he doesn't answer verbally, but you both know that what you said was correct. he presses the faintest kiss against your palm and looks you in the eyes. "i love you." he declares just loud enough for you to hear. "i want to keep you safe, but... truthfully, i... i want to do so by your side."
kazuha's words dance around every corner of your brain, lighting you up from the inside out. you lean in and lightly brush your lips over his, sending butterflies loose in your stomach. "then stay." you whisper in the space between.
you can feel kazuha sigh. he pulls you in for a longer, sweeter kiss, murmuring something incomprehensible as he does. kazuha's lips are soft and his hands are so gentle as they brush over your face. you try to break the kiss to say something, but kazuha keeps you in place, murmuring a soft, breathless wait.
he seems satisfied after a few more minutes, breaking the kiss to leave one on your nose and forehead. "hey, kazuha?" you murmur as he does.
"hmm?"
"i love you, too." it's almost liberating, finally getting that off your chest. your face burns with your confession, and when you see the way kazuha's crimson eyes brighten, your body temperature rises even further. god only knows what he's thinking right now. you avert your eyes. "kazuha... promise me something."
kazuha nods. you can still feel his eyes on you. "anything."
"come back to me alive." you chuckle quietly. "i'd say come back safe, but that's, uh... not our thing, apparently. so just... don't die out there. let me take care of y-- mmf--"
kazuha silences you with a kiss, one you melt into. when he pulls away, he looks torn. it takes a second for you to realize just how loaded your request is. in his line of work, where most of his opponents would rather see him dead than merely unconscious, staying alive is quite the hefty task.
he brushes his thumb over your cheek, his brows carrying the slightest draw to them. "you know--"
"i know." you cut him off with a weak smile. "i know. but at the very least... try your best. please."
kazuha looks at you for just a moment longer before leaning back in, resting his forehead on yours. "i'll do my best," he says. "for you."
you let your eyes slip shut. the thought of him leaving you after this makes your stomach turn. so you ask, "will you stay?"
kazuha's answering hum is immediate. "i will." he pulls you into his arms and sighs, the sound low. "i will."
you wrap your arms around him in turn and heave a soft sigh of your own. it's starting to dawn on you just how much you're taking on by having him here like this. kazuha's secret is a monumental one -- one that you now share. the safety of the city rests in your hands as well, now; whether you're ready to handle that responsibility or not doesn't matter anymore. your choice to stand by kazuha's side means that you're choosing to help take on the burden he's been shouldering alone.
you tighten your arms around him. you'll be damned if you let something like this happen to him again.
✦ okay, okay, i know i've written better endings, but i didn't know how else to wrap this one up..
✦ but FINALLY this comes to an end... this has been in my drafts for AGES. i suppose you can say i'm cleaning out my drafts? i'm going to try wrapping up some old stuff and checking it to see if it's worth posting! there's some good stuff in here, y'know?
"oh, good morning, sleepyhead. did you get a good night's rest?"
kazuha jolts at the sound of your voice. he immediately regrets it as a sudden sharp pain shoots through his side. bringing a hand up to soothe the spot, he finds that beneath his shirt (upon closer inspection though, he realizes that this is definitely not his shirt), the afflicted area is carefully bandaged, though there is some blood soaking through the fabric. "what... what happened?" he asks. "where am i? and who are you?"
you answer him with a soft laugh, making him frown. "got any more questions for me?"
you're joking -- or at least he thinks you are -- but your wit isn't doing him any good. kazuha is far too disoriented to make heads or tails of the situation. all he knows right now is that he's hurt and wearing the clothes of some stranger who won't give him a straight answer. what's with this fog in his head? why can't he make a coherent thought? what happened to him?
you chuckle again from where you are. kazuha turns to face you but hisses when pain rockets through his body. you tut and hurry to his side, kneeling on the ground to be at his level and check his wound. but as you reach for him, kazuha instinctively reaches for his weapon only to find that it's not on his person. frantically, he searches the room for it.
"if you're looking for your katana," you sit back on your haunches and jerk your head to a far corner of the living room, "it's over there. but i'd strongly advise against attacking the person who saved your life."
shit. he's losing his cool. he's usually so subtle about this kind of thing, able to retrieve his weapon in any situation without raising any suspicion. for you to catch on... either you're not normal, or he's become an open book overnight.
kazuha deflates, but keeps his body as far from you as possible. "what do you mean you saved my life?" he presses his lips together. if you really did save his life like you said, he probably shouldn't be so hasty lest you do something to him. "i mean..." he clears his throat and does his best to de-escalate. "could you please tell me what happened last night? i'm... having a bit of trouble remembering."
"of course you are." you sit fully on the floor and cross your legs, the perfect picture of ease. "you were pretty banged up when i found you."
"would you care to elaborate?"
"alright, alright."
(what's with you? kazuha thinks. why are you making it seem like he's asking such a difficult question? and why does it seem like you're enjoying yourself?)
you lean back on your hands. "first of all, i found you half-dead in an alleyway not too far from here. you were stabbed pretty deeply and someone made a clean slice across your abdomen." you point at kazuha's stomach, where the bandages are. "if i hadn't found you, you would've bled out."
kazuha wracks his brain for answers as you speak and slowly, he starts to remember what happened leading up to the gap in his memory. he recalls running into some bounty hunters from inazuma. despite being in liyue, they'd sought to capture or kill him to claim the bounty on his head. kazuha remembers putting up a fight and if he's being honest, he thinks he did pretty well -- five against one? sure, the odds weren't in his favor that night, but by the archons, he held his own pretty well.
well, seeing as how he's landed himself here, he fought may have fought well, but it clearly wasn't enough. they got him good. at least they didn't unmask him--
wait.
kazuha's hand flies to his face. thankfully, he feels the familiar hard plastic of his mask still fully covering his face. he doesn't relax completely, though. "did... you happen to see my--"
you shake your head, cutting him off. "nope. figured you were wearing it for a reason, so i left it untouched. i did clean it though -- there was quite a bit of blood on it."
now kazuha relaxes. he wills his heart to slow down. at least he was taken in by someone reasonable. he absentmindedly brushes his fingers over the bandages as he thinks about what to say next.
"would you stop agitating it? for archons' sake..." you're quick to snatch kazuha's wrist in your hand and pull it away from his injury. he starts to pull away from you, but somehow you're faster, instead pulling up the shirt he's wearing to inspect it. you click your tongue when you see the blood-soaked bandage, completely unaware of the way kazuha's face begins to burn. "dammit, you already reopened it..."
as you hop up to fetch what kazuha can only assume is more first aid supplies, he decides that now is as good a time as any to pick up light conversation. he's no idiot -- he knows that as long as he's here, he's at your mercy. call him paranoid, but you have home field advantage right now. you could flip on him at any moment and he'd be completely powerless. the least he could do is try to make this as painless as possible for the both of you.
kazuha halts in his thinking for a moment. when did he become like this? maybe he's been on the run for too long.
you return quickly and rest the supplies on the table. you reach for him and again, kazuha puts his guard up. you huff and pout. it'd be cute if kazuha didn't think you weren't secretly plotting to kill him. "how am i supposed to help you when you keep acting like a frightened animal?" you cross your arms impatiently. "will you let me take care of you?"
kazuha raises an eyebrow, but quickly remembers that you can't see his face. he shrugs slightly instead. "forgive my insolence, but i haven't any reason to trust you completely just yet. i believe you still have yet to answer all of my questions."
you scoff. "i liked you better when you were unconscious," you mutter under your breath. "look, how about i give you answers and patch you up at the same time? does that please you, your highness?"
"...you're being a bit childish."
"and you're bleeding out. are you gonna let me help you or not?
kazuha sighs and lets you do as you please. he still doesn't completely trust you, but he supposes that you wouldn't be so insistent on helping him if you didn't have his best interest in mind. you get to work on cleaning him up again, carefully snipping the bandage off and making kazuha hiss when the wound is exposed to the air.
"i'm sorry," you whisper. kazuha doesn't think he was meant to hear that.
"so," he says after a few moments of silence, "those answers?"
"right, right. um... what did you want to know again?"
"i asked who you were and where i was."
"right." you don't stop working as you speak. "you're in my apartment right now. we're still in liyue, in the city. i also feel it's worth mentioning that you've been asleep for about two days."
kazuha balks. "what?"
"you lost a lot of blood," you say matter-of-factly. "plus, it's not like i have the supplies to do blood transfusions. you're recovering the old fashioned way. sorry." you give him an apologetic smile.
two days... kazuha's gone off the grid for far longer, but he's sure beidou must be losing her mind wondering where he is. she's not going to like this story much. he bites back a groan when you pull the bandage tight against his wounds. "may i ask how you know all of this first aid? who are you?"
you sigh and wipe your hands on a small towel you brought along with you. you give kazuha your name with a smile. "i'm just your average citizen," you say. "who doesn't know how to heal wounds these days? anyway, what about you? does the guy behind that mask have a name?"
ah. kazuha doesn't know why he didn't consider that you might ask for his name. he tries to come up with an alias, but when his silence drags on for too long, he gives up with a short shake of the head. "he doesn't, i'm afraid."
"what a shame." you start to clean up your materials. "then i'm afraid i'm going to have to call you 'mr. kitsune mask' until you come up with a name for me to call you."
kazuha actually chuckles at that. "i'll give it some thought." he lets a beat pass. "but you're speaking as though i'm going to be staying around long enough for you to come up with a name."
"that's 'cause you are!" you call over your shoulder as you return things to their rightful places.
"pardon me?"
"you may be acting fine now, but i promise you, if you try to stand and go about doing... whatever it was that landed you here in the first place, you're either going to wind up hurting yourself further or dead." you cross your arms over your chest when you come back. "which option sounds like more fun?"
kazuha will admit, your wit is charming. now that he's let his guard down, he finds that you're allowing him to think much clearer than he was earlier. besides, you're right. he's actually in excruciating pain right now -- your cleaning of the wound may have helped in the long run, but this pain is almost unbearable. he's been hurt like this before, but these wounds must be deeper than others. staying put is really his only option.
"is neither an option?" he asks.
you grin. "it could be, if you stay." when he agrees, your smile grows. it's contagious; kazuha finds himself cracking a small smile under his mask. "well then, mr. kitsune mask, i'm going to go and take a nap. i haven't really slept since you got here."
kazuha opens his mouth to say something, but quickly shuts it. (not like you could tell, anyhow.) it suddenly dawns on him that you've been showing signs of serious fatigue this entire time -- you're blinking rather slowly, you've been muffling little yawns with your hand, there's shadows under your eyes, and your hair is quite messy. understandably, he had much more pressing issues to focus on, but now that he's much more up to speed, he won't stop you from getting the sleep you need.
"there's food and drinks in the fridge, the wifi password is over there, and you're welcome to use the tv... and that's it, i guess. i'm off; try not to kill me in my sleep, okay?" you shoot him a wink and turn on your heel, disappearing into a room in the hallway.
once he's alone, kazuha lets all of the information sink in. you seem like a pretty good person -- it's hard to sense any ill intent from you and you've proven to be genuinely concerned about his well-being. there's no real reason for him to doubt anything you've done thus far. it wouldn't hurt to stay for a little while.
kazuha's eyes drift to his katana in the corner. resting on the ground beside it is his vision and... it would appear that there's another vision beside his own. a cryo vision from the looks of it. you said earlier that you were just an average citizen, but everyone knows that cryo vision holders are becoming increasingly hard to find these days. he figures it's only fair that you wouldn't tell him about that; not only is he a stranger, but he's not letting you see his face. that's a fair trade-off.
gingerly, kazuha lies back down and wonders how he's going to explain his situation to beidou. that's a conversation he's not looking forward to having. in the meantime, he thinks as his eyes begin to droop, some rest would do him some good as well.
# — summary: why do they have to be so... nice all the time?
# — warnings: n/a
# — tags: hc/drabble format, fluff, a teaspoon of angst, jealousy, healthy communication
# — notes: thanks so much for liking my works!! i didn't know which genshin boys you wanted, so i took a few liberties! i hope you still enjoy it, anon! as always, reblogs and reactions are greatly appreciated! also, this isn't proofread -- none of my stuff is -- so i'm sorry for any mistakes!
✧ — 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚 — ✧
he probably wouldn't know that he was making you jealous
thoma has a very particular manner of speech that's both professional and flirty.. does that make sense?
like, none of us felt scolded when he forced us to pay attention during his housekeeping class, did we? no, we didn't.
his stern side is just as attractive as his playful side, making thoma a bit of a hot topic amongst the single people of narukami island
unfortunately for you, that means you have to make it known from time to time that he is not, in fact, a single man
and even more unfortunate for you, whenever you accompanied him on his errands through the city, you have to sit in silence whenever you see the people he's talking to get flustered by him
you know it's not necessarily his fault -- he's eye-catching, so it's only natural that people would be attracted to him
but sometimes, it kinda feels like he uses that to his advantage without thinking
(he does it on purpose, actually.)
like i said, he doesn't count it to be flirting -- really, he doesn't -- but when you see him wink at the textile shop owner, you suddenly doubt that.
"c'mon mio; help me out just this once, yeah?" thoma pleads with the shop owner.
thoma was sent to the city by ayaka to pick up some new fabrics and you decided to tag along. he was all too happy to take you with him. honestly, only thoma would consider errand running to be a cute date idea. you couldn't knock him for it, though; he was so quick to lace your fingers with his as soon as you stood by his side, and you were always a sucker for your boyfriend.
although, as you watch him try to bargain with ogura mio, you wonder if you're in too deep.
for some strange reason, mio decided to raise her prices last minute. it shocked thoma a lot, mostly because she was known for her generosity towards the kamisato clan. you watched thoma turn on the charm after a few minutes of failing to change her mind, and you saw his tactic start to take effect almost immediately.
"i'm sorry thoma, but i'm losing profit, and i have no choice but to ask for more from my customers, few as they may be." mio reasons.
thoma sighs and thinks for a moment. you'd help him figure this out, but you're distracted by the way his hand is starting to feel foreign in yours. "how about this," thoma shifts his weight onto his other leg, "it sounds like you're losing profit because of a lack of customers. why don't you give me the fabric so we can have miss ayaka promote it for you? sound like a plan?"
you know something’s wrong when you see mio's cheeks begin to match the color of her hair. what could she possibly be blushing for? all thoma did was give a reasonable suggestion, no? the silence drags on and you finally glance at thoma in question...
only to see him winking at mio with his most charming smile.
is he serious? you're literally standing right here.
you drop his hand after a few more seconds, muttering an excuse about wanting to look around. you silently hope thoma notices that something’s off, but he doesn't; he hums in acknowledgement and continues negotiating with the flustered textile shop owner.
now, another thing about thoma: he's very observant. especially when it comes to you
but when it comes to himself, not so much
you try to reason with yourself that this is normal -- that he's just being ni
this is how he always is with everyone, right? even you!
...for some reason, that makes your stomach drop even more. you feel sick.
does he... really treat you no different from everyone else?
you begin to spiral in your own head, fully unaware that you've come to a complete stop
large hands suddenly cover your eyes, making you jump. "guess who?"
it's thoma, obviously. normally, you'd play along, give a couple wrong answers just to see him pout, but right now, you're trying to convince yourself that he doesn't do this with others. by the time you open your mouth to give an answer, thoma's already uncovered your eyes and made his way in front of you, his eyebrows drawn in.
"are you feeling okay?" he asks. "you sorta threw my hand down earlier." he presses the back of his hand to your forehead. your heart pounds in your chest but you hold your breath in an attempt to get it to stop.
you hadn't realized you were so abrupt with him earlier. you give up on trying to talk yourself out of this jealous hole you've dug yourself into. knowing thoma, if you lied about being okay, he'd definitely press you about it later, so you throw your apprehension to the wind.
"do i mean anything to you? at all?" you mutter a curse under your breath as soon as you finish your sentence. that's not at all what you meant to ask, but you couldn't deny that that's what's on your mind. did you mean anything to him?
thoma looks taken aback by your question and pulls you to a less crowded area. "what are you talking about?" he cups your face and you swear he's trying to search your soul with those green eyes of his. "you mean everything to me. everything and more. where is this coming from? did someone tell you something?"
from the bottom of your heart, you know he means that. you twist the promise ring on your right hand. you wouldn't have this if thoma didn't love you -- he wouldn't have promised himself to you during yoimiya's firework show if he didn't love you. but the little green demon on your shoulder whispers thoughts of jealousy into your ear, and it's too difficult to ignore it.
you avert your eyes. "you're a friendly guy, thoma." you start. "i get that. but you're... too friendly sometimes. i just--" your breath hitches. no tears, you tell yourself. "it looked like you were flirting with mio, okay? it looks that way with a lot of people, and i feel like you treat me the same as everyone else."
you exhale heavily as soon as the words are out. it felt nice, letting all of that off your chest. had you kept that to yourself, you think your relationship would have taken a turn for the worse.
thoma's hands don't leave your face. he pulls you in and kisses you so sweetly, you think you see stars. embarrassed, you put your hands on his chest and push yourself away, your face burning. "thoma, we're in public!" you hiss. "why would you--"
"i'm sorry," he says. when he catches you not looking at him, he tilts your head towards him so you are. thoma's always valued sincerity, and one of the ways he shows it is by making intense eye contact. "really, i am. i'm so sorry; i didn't realize i was making you feel that way." you look away shyly, and thoma taps your chin twice, forcing you to look back at him. "is there anything i can do to fix it?"
the little jealousy demon seems to evaporate as he speaks. he's so genuine and attentive; you have no doubt that he'd change if you asked him to. the archons may have blessed you with a vision, but you smile when you realize that that's not the only thing they've blessed you with.
you shake your head. "i don't want you to change your personality for me, thoma." you seriously don't. thoma is defined by his dutiful behavior and his generosity -- if he switched it up, people would surely notice. "i was just-- um." your cheeks begin to flare again. you know you were jealous, but you don't want to say it out loud. "i just wanted to tell you how i felt. that's it."
"is that really it?" thoma says after a brief pause. surely, he's figured it out, because there's a knowing grin starting to split his face. "you were jealous, weren't you?"
you turn around. "okay, look, we talked about it, right? let's go back now."
behind you, thoma chuckles. "you totally were! you were jealous!" he teases, laughing harder when you turn back to glare at him. he takes your hand again and gently rubs the back of your hand with his thumb. "you're cute when you're jealous, you know that? you were pouting a second ago."
"please shut up."
thoma snorts. "alright, alright. but i promise, i'll be more careful, okay? don't you ever doubt your worth again. can you promise me that?"
how could you not, when he looks at you like that? you feel pride swell in your chest knowing that this look -- this look of pure adoration -- was reserved for you and you only.
you hum affirmatively. "i promise. thank you."
✧ — 𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐨 — ✧
goddamn pretty boys and their stupidly pretty faces, DAMMIT.
if you thought thoma was bad at not realizing when you were jealous, then you're in for a ride with albedo
albedo isn't socially inept, it's just that he's... a little slower on the uptake due to his lack of interest in social interaction
so he'll do things that may be considered intimate with people that aren't you, and while the person he's interacting with may be freaking out, he's just going about his business like everything is perfectly normal
the thing about sucrose and albedo's relationship is that it's strictly professional. anybody can see that.
you don't feel any kind of way about them working in close proximity because it's REALLY obvious that sucrose admires albedo's alchemical knowledge, and albedo cherishes sucrose as his lab partner, so to speak
but sucrose isn't as bad with people as albedo is, so whenever he does something a little odd, she'll hesitate to correct him
today, she takes far too long to do so.
the scene you walked in on was one straight out of a romance novel.
you'd decided to pay albedo a visit since you weren't working for the day. commissions were few and far between, so why wouldn't you want to spend time with your boyfriend? you packed a lunch for the two of you and walked to his lab in mondstadt; thankfully, he wasn't returning to dragonspine for another week or two.
but when you arrived, you saw sucrose pressed to albedo's chest. his arms were wrapped around her in a protective manner; one hand was on the back of her head, pressing it to his shoulder while his other arm was wrapped around her waist.
"are you alright?" albedo asks softly. "that was very dangerous."
sucrose's shoulders are rising and falling quickly. was she scared of something? "yes, i-i... thank you, mister albedo, i--"
"uh..." the noise comes out of your mouth before you can stop it. you couldn't comprehend what you were seeing; your brain launched into analytical mode so quickly that you went blank. the alchemists both look your way and sucrose all but leaps out of albedo's arms, her face nearly vermillion.
"i-it's not what it looks like!" she stammers, adjusting her glasses on her face.
well, duh, you think. you caught sight of the shattered beakers on the ground behind sucrose. whatever substance they were holding was sizzling on the ground. it's incredibly obvious that albedo pulled her out the way to avoid severe injury. accidents like this were fairly common -- this was normal.
but, another part of you starts to wonder, how long were they like that? why did sucrose only pull away when you made your presence known? you quickly try your best to stamp out the ugly feeling rising in your throat and offer sucrose an understanding smile. "what're you telling me that for? i heard the shatter from outside." you're lying. "i'm glad you're alright, sucrose. you're lucky albedo has quick reflexes."
too quick, something inside you hisses. you clench your jaw.
sucrose looks relieved by your understanding. "th-thank you..." she spots the lunch in your hand. "oh, is it that time already? mister albedo, i'm going to take my lunch break; is that alright?"
albedo, who'd been silent this whole time, nods curtly. he's eyeing the glass on the ground with a frown. "go on, sucrose. take your time."
sucrose leaves in a hurry, leaving the two of you alone.
you don't say anything for a while. albedo moves to start cleaning up the mess and you seat yourself across the room while you try to sort your thoughts.
you'd lied -- rather boldly, actually -- about hearing the glass fall. you figured that if you said that out loud, you'd be able to trick yourself into thinking that the incident had just occurred. if that was the case, then that would mean they weren't locked in an embrace for too long. but another part of you -- a part that you've never had trouble keeping in check -- refuses to be fooled. it feeds you suggestions -- suggestions you hate.
sucrose took too long to move, it tells you. clearly, she was enjoying that. how often do you think she does that when you're not around? did you see how albedo was holding her? so tightly; like he cared about her.
of course he cares about her. he has to -- she's literally his work partner. you pinch your nose bridge as you try to reason with yourself. you're so absorbed in your thoughts that you don't hear albedo calling you until he raises his voice. "sorry? did you call me?" you ask, giving albedo the same fake smile you gave sucrose.
albedo doesn't look convinced. for someone who has trouble reading the comfort levels of other people, he always seems to know when you're not alright. teal eyes observe you closely. "something’s on your mind," he says.
"what? no, nothing's bothering me."
albedo makes a sound. "i never said that something was bothering you," he tilts his head to the side. "i said that something was on your mind. so, something is bothering you, then?"
damn. you thought he wouldn't notice that. hell, you didn't even notice. "how'd you know something was on my mind?"
"well," albedo makes his way over to you, "i'd been calling your name for the past... five minutes, i believe. you usually respond right away."
that makes your face burn for some reason. albedo continues.
"that, and you didn't hug me when you saw me." he almost looks dejected when he says that, a small crease forming between his brows before it's gone, smoothed over by his usual expression. "you always show me lots of affection when you visit, but you've been here for over ten minutes, and i've received nothing. therefore, something must be wrong."
you're a little lost for words. you didn't think much of the whole hugging thing, and you're caught between being jealous and being endeared by the way albedo seems to be complaining about the lack of affection. you open your mouth to tease him, but quickly shut it. you should probably address what happened first, but how do you explain that you didn't want to hug him because you thought you'd be able to smell sucrose on him?
"is that so?" albedo says. his eyes widen by a fraction and you slap your hand over your mouth, your face going up in flames. you said that out loud!
"that's, uh..." you swallow back any excuses. there's no point in lying to him. if you don't bring things to albedo's attention, then it may as well be non-existent. you sigh and come clean. "this is... really stupid, but i just... didn't like seeing you and sucrose hugging. it made me feel--"
"jealous?" albedo finishes your sentence. you gape at him. how did he figure that out so quickly? you nod slowly, and albedo hums. "i see... do you think that sucrose has feelings for me?"
"what? no!" you shake your head quickly. "no, i know that there's nothing going on; i saw the beakers, i know you were just keeping her safe." your eyes drift to where the mess once was. "i don't know why i felt jealous, okay? but i did, and it felt terrible."
albedo soaks up your words like a sponge. you can always tell when he's internalizing something -- his eyes seem to lose their usual focus as the gears turn. it takes him a lot less time than you thought it would to understand this. "i'd read once that lovers experience jealousy," he muses. "it's a little interesting to be on the other end of it."
the other end? "have... have you been jealous before?" the words sound ridiculous coming out of your mouth, but albedo nods, unashamed.
"quite a few times, actually. i think the common link is the cavalry captain."
"what?!"
albedo -- sweet, innocent albedo -- frowns at your outburst. "did i say something perplexing?" he must really not know why you're shocked. "i do feel jealous whenever you're around captain kaeya; you two appear very close all the time, and he touches you a lot, so i... why are you laughing?"
you couldn't help it. albedo was so straightforward with you about everything. most people would take that kind of secret to their grave, but not your boyfriend. you double over with laughter. at least you weren't alone in your feelings. it's reassuring to know that it went both ways.
you wiped a tear from your eyes. "i'm not laughing at you, 'bedo, just," you giggle, "i felt stupid for thinking that way. you always know how to make me feel better."
albedo looks adorably confused. "i'm not sure i understand."
of course he doesn't. "don't worry about it." you smile and make your way over to him, planting a light kiss to his cheek. your smile only grows as you watch a faint blush dust his cheeks. "i love you, albedo."
albedo recovers from his moment and pulls you in by your waist. you melt into him with practiced ease and take a deep breath. you chortle to yourself; he doesn't smell like sucrose at all.
"and i, you." his reply is spoken so quietly, you almost miss it. his hold on you tightens a little. "i'd appreciate it if you'd keep hugging me when you arrive. i... i enjoy it a lot."
you struggle a bit to pull away since he's holding you so tightly, but once you do, you kiss his lips softly, relishing in the dusty pink that colors his face. "anything you want, 'bedo."
✧ hey anon! i hope you enjoyed it! i didn't want to over do it and write too much, so if you want this scenario from other boys (cause i actually have more in mind, LOL) just lemme know!
# — notes: my first ever req on this blog !! i love this a lot bc this particular scene made me cry, like i love kazuha so fuckin much, dude :( i hope you like it and, as always, rbs and reactions are always appreciated!
✧ — 𝐚𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 — ✧
you got into a fight with aether that morning.
in hindsight, you feel terrible knowing that you just added more weight to his shoulders. he was working himself to the bone day in and day out, even if it was reluctant on his part. you could only watch as aether tightened his fists behind his back each time he was given a new task. even when you tried to lighten the load for him, he would brush you off with a half-hearted smile, mumbling his apologies into your skin whenever he got the chance.
something was wrong and it was only getting worse.
the morning it happened, you tried to stop aether from doing anything. you begged him to just sleep in for once -- to allow himself a moment to just breathe, even if it was for a second. when he refused, you became desperate.
"aether, i don't want you to hurt yourself out there!" you cried, frustrated tears forming on your lashes. "please just listen to me for once, i just--"
the traveler yanked his hand out of yours. he was fully glaring at you now, not a single ounce of mirth or kindness swimming in his golden eyes. it terrified you. "if you try to stop me from making progress one more time," he hissed, "then we're going to have to end this."
and that was the end of that. you gaped at his back as he left and couldn't muster up the courage to find him in fear of losing what little happiness you had left. you stewed in your indignation for the rest of the day until the sky began to crackle.
it was as if the air itself was laced with pure electricity. in the land of electro, that should have been a good omen, but to you, it only made your stomach drop lower than you have ever felt it. perhaps it was because you hadn't seen aether all day, but whenever supernatural things occurred, he was usually at the center of it all. you dropped what you were doing and let your feet carry you as fast as they could.
only the archons would know why you ended up at tenshukaku. when you saw the backs of the resistance as they waited on the steps, you sprinted over to general gorou, who grabbed your shoulders with thinly veiled panic in his eyes. "what are you doing here?" he asked, gently pushing you backwards. "if aether finds out that you're here--"
"he won't do a thing," you said, holding your ground. "something felt off, and now i'm here. you know i can fight, so at least let me help."
you were half-lying. while you possessed a hydro vision and could most definitely fight -- kazuha could attest to your skills -- that's not what you were there to do; you were there to collect aether and get him to safety. gorou eyed you warily. you could tell he was trying to figure out whether or not he should let you stay.
it was no secret that you were the legendary traveler's most important person; unfortunately that title preceeded you. you hated that people thought aether was your knight in shining armor. you were just as good a fighter as he was, and the only reason he'd made it this far was because you had his back. you didn't flinch as gorou scanned you closely before he sighed.
"fine," he let go of you and pointed to the entrance to tenshukaku. "we're on standby. stand at the front by kazuha and be ready. clear?"
"crystal."
after taking your position beside kazuha, you didn't have to wait much longer. you were right to be on edge; the sky became impossibly dark over the shogun's residence, and the thunder threatened to deafen you. you saw kazuha flinch and cover one of his ears with a hand beside you. before you could check on him, gorou suddenly gave the order to advance. you're confused, but you obey.
you see him at the top of the stairs. he's staggering as he makes his way out, but he looks relatively unharmed. you release a breath you didn't know you were holding and open your mouth to call his name, but as soon as you do, the hairs at the back of your neck stand at attention.
you will never be able to explain what you saw that day.
you'd heard of the musou no hitotachi in stories, but never in your life had you ever thought you would see it before you like this. reality itself seemed to tear apart before your very eyes, revealing nothing but an ominous violet eye. it's quickly replaced by the raiden shogun, who lunges out of it at breakneck speed. the soldiers around you are stunned into silence as they watch who the shogun is aiming for.
no. no, no, no, no.
she's aiming for aether.
she's going to kill aether.
things go blank after that. maybe your body moved purely on instinct and mind-numbing adrenaline, because really, everything is a blur.
you hear kazuha's choked gasping until suddenly it's not there anymore. you're not there anymore. you don't exactly know when and how you got here, but you've shoved yourself between aether and the shogun's blade, taking the full force of her attack.
there's so much to feel in this moment. part of you recognizes the feeling of raw power and determination; the very same sensation you felt the day you received your vision. you dimly, very, very dimly feel aether's mortified stare burning holes through your skin. if you had the chance, you'd laugh at how stupid he must look.
but the most obvious thing you feel is pure agony.
you were quick to activate your vision to somehow soften the blow of the shogun's blade, but as everyone with common sense knows, hydro and electro don't mix. and as expected of the electro archon, her strikes are powerful -- your arms rightfully feel as though they're going to fall off.
they can't. you know that that's no longer your decision to make, but if you fall here -- if you lose this stand-off -- who will protect aether? who will love him in your stead? with a sharp cry, you pour all your strength into pushing the shogun's blade up and away from your body, ignoring the way you can feel blood starting to soak your hands. perhaps the hydro archon took pity on you, because you successfully parry the raiden shogun's blade.
there's no time to celebrate. immediately, the shogun's shocked expression smooths itself out and she lunges again -- for you, this time. she'd clearly done it with intent to kill, because you barely managed to block the strike, and the strength of it sent you flying back down the stairs, where the resistance soldiers barely managed to catch you.
after that... well, you don't know what happened after that. when you come to, you're laying in an unfamiliar futon bed. you blink rapidly, groaning when the sunlight nearly blinds you. to say that you're in pain would be a vicious understatement. your arms are stiff and numb, your ears are ringing, and every breath you take feels like someone is cutting at your insides with each inhale.
you cough, wincing at the metallic taste in your mouth. the events in front of tenshukaku plays out once more in your head, and you groan again, louder this time. intervening and basically stopping the musou no hitotachi would be a fun story to tell people once you've recovered, but as of right now, you feel nothing but regret.
the regret is quickly replaced by relief, though. because at the end of the day, you managed to save aether's life. surely, you tell yourself, he retreated with the resistance after that incident. you smile bitterly as you remember the argument you had before. maybe he hates you for getting in his way like that, but you could make peace with that; so long as he's alive then--
"you're awake! traveler, they're awake!" a high-pitched voice cuts through the persistent ringing. you can't move your neck too much, but you manage to turn enough to see who yelled. it's paimon. she's frantically looking between you and the sliding door. "paimon's so glad you finally woke up!"
"finally?" you croak. "what are you--?"
a pair of footsteps stops near paimon before there's a soft thud and a sudden weight on your torso. you crane your neck up a little to get a better look at your visitor. as soon as you spot golden hair, your lungs close, forcing you to cough.
"oh, paimon will go get water! paimon'll be right back!" the little fairy disappears into her cloud of stars. she returns quickly and helps you sit upright to drink the water, but makes the sudden decision to leave you alone with aether.
the silence is so loud.
you have no idea what to say to him. the last time you'd spoken, he was threatening to break up with you. you were already prepping yourself for the post-break up healing process, so why..?
"it's been three weeks." aether finally speaks. he looks up at you, his eyes red-rimmed and watery. was he... crying just now? "you were asleep for three weeks."
wow. there's a lot to unpack. you say the first thing that comes to mind.
"why are you," you pause for a second to cough, "here? i figured you'd break up with me."
aether grimaces. you wonder what's going through his head. you continue: "if you still want to break up, then..." you suddenly feel a new pain blossoming in your chest. it brings you to tears faster than any cut ever could. "i won't stop you, i--"
"you wake up from a three week long coma after saving my life and you think i'm just going to dump you?" aether looks horrified by your words. stray tears drip from his eyes. "i visited every single day after--" he chokes up. "after what happened. i'm sorry; i shouldn't have been so mad at you, i know you were just looking out for me, and i-- archons, this is all my fault--"
you cut him off then. "aether, i saved your life because i wanted to." you rasp. breaking up or not, the fact remains that you are wholeheartedly in love with the traveler from beyond the stars. you would do it again in a heartbeat -- suffer the same wounds over and over and over if it meant that he got to live another day. "i did what i did because i love you; no other reason."
aether sniffs and avoids eye contact. you can tell him it's not his fault all you want, but that probably won't change a thing for him. you can't convince him otherwise either -- not in this state. you're bruised, battered, and numb; you're not in any position to tell him to stop worrying. but that won't stop you from trying. "c'mere." you beckon him over.
he does as you say.
"a little closer."
he's a few feet away now.
"just a liiiiittle closer, c'mon."
aether hesitantly obeys. he's close enough that you can feel his shaky breathing. you rest your forehead on his, suppressing a hiss of pain from the movement.
"i love you." you whisper. you can sort of see him flinch. "i'm glad you're okay."
there's a long pause before aether chuckles shakily. "that's my line," he whispers back. "i'm sorry. i'm so, so sorry. i don't know what i can do to make it up to you, i--"
"don't do anything," you interrupt. "i don't want anything from you. just stay alive; that's all."
aether sighs. "...that's all?"
"that's all."
✧ — 𝐤𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐡𝐚 — ✧
despite being one of the most level-headed people you have ever met, kazuha somehow also manages to be one of the most reckless.
granted, he almost always had a reason, but that didn't change the fact that you developed a fear that his recklessness would get him killed someday.
it didn't help that kazuha used his anemo vision to his advantage each time, channeling the element to boost his speed whenever he needed it. you sometimes wished you could hide it from him, but it was obvious why that was a terrible idea.
as a compromise, you decided to aid him in his ventures. you figured that so long as you were present, you could, at the very least, pull him out of danger at the last second; your own electro vision granted you enough speed to match him at times. you relied on your own battle prowess to keep up with your boyfriend -- something he greatly appreciated.
because the last thing you would ever do is clip the wings of someone like kazuha. you may as well be the updraft that keeps him in the air.
the fact remains, however, that you will lag behind him at times. kazuha is trained to be quick -- to avoid the eyes of others. his quick thinking is what usually leads him to victory most of the time, even in a pinch. so sometimes, you don't even get the chance to help before he's finished the job.
"you're too fast, kazuha," you panted one day after training with him. "what if you get hurt?"
kazuha hummed, tapping the hilt of his katana. "what guides me through battle is not the possibility that i may fail, but that i will succeed without a scratch."
you frowned at him. "and what if i can't be there to help you when you need it the most?"
bandaged fingers hooked themselves under your chin gently, tilting your head up. kazuha leaned in and kissed you with all the gentleness of a passing breeze. "you are always with me," he said. "and if i may be completely honest, i would much rather be hurt than watch you injure yourself on my behalf."
you couldn't say anything to that.
all you could do was hone your skills.
if you were faster, stronger, more agile, maybe you could keep up with him -- surpass him, even. kazuha thought your desire to be better than him was endearing, but he accepted the challenge. he trained alongside you as often as he could, and you found that you started to make progress.
you were quicker during hilichurl ambushes and fatui run-ins, but if neither of you broke a sweat, you felt it didn't count. you somewhat longed for the day you could completely protect kazuha with your new skills and brag about how much better you were.
when you got your chance, however, your self-imposed competition was the last thing on your mind.
to bear witness to the musou no hitotachi was an honor, especially as a citizen of inazuma. especially as an electro vision holder, you felt as though you could someday produce something of your own -- something as legendary as the raiden shogun's musou no hitotachi.
it was a childish dream, but vision holders are, after all, known for their ambition.
your heart all but stops as you watch the raiden shogun target the blonde traveler. you'd grown close to him during his time here, and whenever you weren't training or helping the resistance on the front lines, you were asking him how you could help him find his lost sister. he opened up to you and you to him, and you thought it safe to say that you'd found a truly close friend in him. but as he -- and the rest of the resistance -- looked death straight in the face, you found yourself paralyzed.
this wasn't what you trained for. this wasn't what you dedicated all your time to. you were supposed to be like the very lightning that you commanded and yet here you were, as stagnant as the air you breathed.
move. move!
a sudden gust of wind from your left nearly knocks you to your feet. you finally get your body to move, hoping to see what just happened. you don't see what produced that wind, but you immediately know who.
you whirl around to see kazuha resisting the shogun, his own blade suddenly looking flimsy as he tries his hardest to push it back. your stomach threatens to rid itself of it's contents when you notice the electro vision glowing beneath his own. somehow, kazuha managed to reactivate tomo's vision and is using both to save the traveler.
it's enough to startle everyone, even the shogun, but it's not enough.
while he does successfully manage to push the shogun back, he also succeeded in making himself a target. again, the shogun strikes, this time he sword aimed right for kazuha's chest.
you're actually not sure how you managed to get there in time. kazuha did it with the help of two visions, but you? you only had the one. perhaps it was all the electricity in the air that came to your aid when you needed it the most. you felt as though you became a stray bolt of lightning for a split second, rushing in front of kazuha in the nick of time.
as for the plan? there was no plan. you just knew you needed to keep kazuha safe. that's been your main goal for months: to keep kazuha alive. you force yourself between kazuha and the raiden shogun's blade just in time, but you don't bring your blade up in time to send it away. you barely hear kazuha's shattered cry of your name before your world begins to warp itself. after that... you don't remember what happened very well.
you're suddenly forced back down the stairs with kazuha, but you don't exactly know how you got there. there's screams and battle cries coming from every which direction and you can just barely make out the figures of the resistance soldiers advancing on tenshukaku, but only one voice stands out.
"...no, no, not again, not again!"
it's kazuha, you realize. even as your consciousness fades, you hear him yelling your name.
when you come to, the first person you see is gorou.
he's leaning on the wall with his arms crossed and eyes closed, his ears flicking every so often as he listens for any signs of trouble. the haze of your mind doesn't clear itself completely, but you squint at him, wondering why he's keeping watch over you. gorou's ears suddenly go completely still and his eyes fly open, fixing themselves on you. "you--"
"uh, good morning?" you wince at the sound of your voice.
gorou blinks a few times. you can't see it from here -- there's too many painkillers in your system for you to make sense of anything -- but his tail begins to wag upon seeing your face. "don't strain yourself," he calls as he exits, "let me go get the healers."
after an extensive check-up and another strong dose of painkillers (since apparently, hydro healing wasn't enough), you think yourself ready enough to ask questions -- ones that gorou hesitates to answer.
he reluctantly informs you that the raiden shogun's blade went straight through you. she was visibly shaken by your sudden presence -- apparently, it must have been because she had intended to kill someone, but it certainly wasn't you. the traveler took advantage of her distraction and rushed her as soon as you went down while kazuha sought medical attention for you as quickly as he could. the doctors said you were lucky that the shogun's blade was fashioned out of pure electro energy. the wound seemed to cauterize itself after being formed; at the time you were impaled, you mostly fainted out of shock. you were severely -- almost fatally-- injured, but you survived.
gorou had a strained smile when he told you everything, his eyes dropping to your bandaged torso.
"in all the time that i've known kazuha," he said, "i've never seen him so shaken before."
you don't ask what that means. instead, you find out firsthand.
after teasing gorou for a few minutes about his constantly wagging tail, he leaves again, presumably to go back to work. he and kokomi must have their hands full after the incident. you lean your head back on the wall and shut your eyes to pass the time, but your peace doesn't last long. your nose suddenly twitches and you open your eyes.
it's kazuha. he's okay.
rather than focus on how he looks, you're preoccupied with the fact that he's standing before you at all. tears of relief spill over almost immediately. "hey," you greet him breathlessly. "how are--"
"are you an idiot?"
what?
"i-i'm sorry?" you barely manage to get the words out. kazuha's voice doesn't sound like it belongs to him. it's rough and abrasive; it's everything he's not. you try to convince yourself that maybe he just needed water or something. that has to be it, right? "what did you say?"
kazuha finally looks you in the eyes but you feel like you're looking at a stranger. his crimson stare is frigid and unforgiving. it's a look that's reserved for people who cross his path -- not you. you jaw shuts with a soft click as he speaks again. "i asked if you were an idiot." his fists tremble at his sides. "you must be, if you were willing to throw yourself in harm's way like that."
is he... is kazuha upset with you? this wasn't the first time you've taken the brunt of his frustration, but your stomsch drops as you suddenly wonder if this would be the last. "i put myself in danger every day, kazuha; what made yesterday any different?"
"yesterday?" kazuha treats the word as though it's offended him personally. "you think that that happened yesterday?"
"yes..? kazuha, where are you going with this--?"
"it's been two weeks." his voice wavers. you see vulnerability creep up on him, nearly bringing him to knees. the knowledge that you've been unconscious for two weeks doesn't shock you (no pun intended) as much as you thought it would considering the severity of your injuries, but it seems that saying it out loud was enough to crack kazuha's entire being. he's lost his usual manner of speech, switching it out for something more straightforward.
"well," you gingerly slide your hand over your abdomen, wincing when you touch the bandaged area, "i'm fine now, so--"
kazuha's beside you in an instant, his fingers locking around your wrist. he's still as swift as the wind he commands. you don't have the strength to pull your hand back, but you whimper quietly when his grip tightens. he lets go immediately. "fine? you call this," he gestures at your body, "fine? you almost died, and you--" kazuha fixes his eyes on your lap. "you think everything is fine?"
clearly, you've misspoken. you don't get to apologize.
kazuha continues, pushing a hand through his hair. "do you have any idea what it's like watching the one you love die before your eyes?"
you don't answer. guilt wires your jaw shut. kazuha's fingers twitch in place. by now, he would've grabbed your hand as means of grounding himself, but he looks almost repulsed by the ides of touching you. almost as though he's afraid of you.
"if you came to my aid because of that foolish challenge, then you're the biggest idiot i have ever known." he grumbles. "if you saw me handle the shogun once, you should have trusted that i would have made it out of there unharmed."
"it's not you i didn't trust, kazuha." you finally find your voice. you don't feel as combative as you sound, but admittedly, you're frustrated by the way kazuha seems to have twisted your motive for doing what you did. "if you were in my position, would you honestly believe that the shogun wouldn't have killed me on the first strike? do you think i help you because i want to be better than you?"
your hackles rise as soon as you finish your sentence. does he really think that little of you? were you alone in your feelings this entire time?
"why else have you been so eager to improve?"
"because i love you, kazuha." your confession is heartfelt, but it lacks the feeling behind it. your body heats up as indignation begins to boil over. "you're not just some rival, you're my lover." you lower your voice. "or at least i thought you were. perhaps i was mkstaken."
that gets kazuha's attention. his eyes are on you in an instant, his expression crumbling. "no, that's not what i--"
"to my knowledge," you hold up a hand, cutting him off, "lovers do what they can to protect each other, even if it meant puttting themselves in grave danger in the way i had. so forgive me for using my new strength to keep you safe -- i didn't realize it would upset you so much."
kazuha grabs your hand and reaches out, cupping your face gently with his free hand, his thumb stroking your cheek. "dove, please, that-- i was just-- i thought i was going to lose you."
you lean into his touch despite yourself. you've never been able to resist him, even when you're furious with him like this. "i thought the same, kazuha," you whisper.
there's a tense silence. the two of you were well-aware that your biggest issue was your overwhelming concern for one another. you knew how deep your love ran for him, but perhaps kazuha underestimated just how far you would go because of it. it's reassuring, knowing that he's not genuinely mad at you, but you can't deny how much he's hurt you just now.
as if he can read your thoughts, kazuha sighs, breaking the silence. "forgive me, my star." he leans forward, pressing his lips to your forehead. he sounds like the kazuha you fell in love with all over again, his words coated with the sweetest honey. "i was out of line. i was just--"
"worried?" you finish his sentence. kazuha nods when he pulls back, his eyes downcast. you think he looks a little like a scolded child. the corners of your lips twitch. "i know all too well how that feels, kazu'. i understand."
"i thought... that you weren't going to wake up."
"i know."
"i thought i was going to be alone again."
there it is. the root of the problem. you hold your other hand out and kazuha takes it, pressing your knuckles to his forehead with a shaky breath. you give a moment to himself. it seems like he's committing your skin to his memory; solidifying the fact that you're really here -- that you didn't leave him behind. the very thought of doing so scared you almost as much as it did him.
"i'm not going anywhere, kazuha." you say. you feel him squeeze your hands tightly. "i'm right here. i always will be."
kazuha doesn't respond for a second. he doesn't move, but you notice his shoulders are shaking. "kazuha--"
"you know," he chuckles, his voice shaking, "i actually can't think of any poetic ways to express my love for you. can you believe that?"
you blink a few times before snorting. "it's a welcome change."
"you wound me, angel." kazuha looks up at you then. his eyes are teary, but none fall. "i love you. thank you for staying alive."
it's spoken like a prayer, soft and reverent. you smile. "i love you too, kazuha. more than you'll ever know." you pat his cheek and he holds your hand in place, pressing fleeting kisses to your palm. "'till death do us part, kazu'."
kazuha hums in agreement. "'till death do us part."
✧ (waaah it's finished! it's not proofread, nor do I know how many words it is, but @lovely26 i do hope you enjoyed it! thanks for the req and thank you everyone else for reading!)
