Chapter 11 - It'll Be Okay
Summary: Clay goes to the reader's house to comfort her.
Warnings: Mentions of sexual assault, mention of food.
Genre: Heavy Angst
Word Count: 1.6k
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“Hey Y/N, how are you? Please reply to my texts or call me back.” You got a text from Clay.
“Y/N please, I am worried”.
This was not the first time you were getting these texts from Clay. It had been a week since you met him or talked to him. Since the day Bryce tried to rape you, you have not been to school and have not seen anyone. After crying that whole night, you shut your emotions off because it is always easier to not feel anything rather than cry over the same thing over and over again.
You decided not to tell anyone because you did not know what to tell them. Somehow as always, it felt like all of this was your fault.
What would you tell others? That Bryce tried to rape you, and you couldn’t even fight back? Everyone in the school would slut-shame you without knowing the truth.
Thoughts like these ran through your mind and you could not take it anymore honestly, you were not strong enough to feel such heavy emotions, so you shut them off. You went miserable during that week, did not eat properly, and did not care about your skincare and body. You were losing your shit.
You had a perfect plan; you sought Tony’s help and made him swear that he will not open his mouth to anyone about anything. Every morning you came to his place instead of going to school and by the time school got over you came home so that no one would even notice. You got many texts from Jessica, but the good thing was that she was out of town, and you could easily lie to her about everything.
Stalling Justin was easy too and as Tony told you even Zach did not say anything in school about you, but he told you that Zach use to ask about you every day, about how you are keeping up, about your health, about you not coming to school. But you still didn’t care about it. All you cared about was Clay. Seeing those texts, and the endless missed calls made you want to go to his place and tell him the truth but a part of you was scared. You were scared to confront him about Bryce, feared him judging you, and scared to ruin what you had with him.
Every day you had this thought of breaking up with Clay because you did not want to drag Clay into your drama. He was doing simply fine in his school you did not want him to suffer because of you. A part of you felt that Clay is better off without you and that is why you ghosted him.
Today, you reached your home a bit late because though you were not going to school you kept your homework up to date. So, after finishing your work you went to your place, and it was almost dinner time. As soon as you opened the main door you heard your parents talking and with that, you heard a familiar voice. You went inside the living room and saw Clay sitting on the couch with your parents.
Upon your arrival, all three of them stood up. Clay looked sad and confused and as your eyes met you felt pity for not talking to him all this week. Your mother looked furious before you could ask about the unknown arrival of Clay your mother started yelling at you, “Y/N Y/L/N you had a boyfriend? And if you were not going to school all this time, where were you going? What is happening? Answer me!” She demanded.
You did not answer any of her questions and instead turned to Clay, “Clay what the hell are you doing here? You are not supposed to be here, just leave.”
Before Clay could say something, your father intervened and said, “Let us all just calm down and have a peaceful family dinner, and Y/N you cannot skip dinner today like you have been doing for the past week. Clay, I would like you to join as well and then after dinner, we can talk.”
Your father was always the savior. You all sat down at the dining table and said grace. Your mother still had that death glare on her face which scared you. Your father was quick to notice the tension building in the atmosphere and suggested “Now everyone will tell us about how their day was.”
Your mother tried taking the first bite of her food, but rage took over her hunger and she slammed her fork on her plate and asked you “So tell me Y/N how was your day? And where did you spend it?”
You were annoyed and could not take it anymore you stood up and announced “You all want to know about my day huh? So, I made a particularly crucial decision today. I am quitting the baseball and basketball team.” Your mother though was furious with you, but her face revealed a sigh of relief. You glared at your mom and said “And you would be happy right, Mom? Because you never wanted me to play in the first place.” After saying this you left the table and stormed off to your room.
Your father and Clay were shocked at whatever you just said. They knew sports was one of the most important things in your life that kept you happy and they knew you could quit anything but sports.
Clay followed you to your room. You sat on the edge of your bed looking at the floor and Clay came inside shutting the door behind him.
This was the first time Clay was coming into your room. Your room was subtle, it had a mauve aesthetic with contrasting curtains hanging on the window just above the couch in your room. Your bed lay in the middle of the room with blue sheets. There were fairy lights on your headboard and some Polaroids were clipped to the lights.
Clay looked outside the window to prevent eye contact with you.
“Why would you do that Y/N? Why me huh? A week and no texts no call? Who am I to you?” you could hear the anger in his voice. He had every right to be angry with you but did not know the truth.
“Clay you were not supposed to be here, my parents don’t know about you. After Zach, they prohibited me from dating someone because I went miserable after the breakup.”
Clay turned towards you, but you were still looking at the floor, you said “I think we should break up Clay, it would be best for both of us.”
Those words were such a thunderclap to Clay. He could be angry with you, mad at you but he could not stand the idea of breaking up with you. He sat down on his knees to bring himself to your level and held both your hands in his with a look of distress in his eyes and he could not help but stare. He felt like he didn’t recognize you. You were not the Y/N he admired, weak and miserable. You had deep dark circles under your eyes and looked fragile.
“Y/N are not eating enough? What is it, baby? Talk to me. It is okay whatever it is. Hey, look at me. Please, don’t do this to me, it hurts.”
He pulled your chin and made you look him in the eye. As your eyes met you could not keep your tears away anymore, “Something happened Clay…” you sobbed.
“What is it?”
You told him everything that had happened to you. His face was mixed with reactions he was angry at Bryce, sorry for you, and mad at himself for not knowing earlier and not being there for you when you needed him.
“Why didn’t you tell me Y/N about all this? Why would you even hide something from me?”
“Because I thought you’ll judge me like every other person in our school and think I am just another girl who slept with Bryce.”
“Are you crazy? I would never. Y/N you are one of the most important people in my life and I could not lose you to that asshole. I told you everything about Hannah and how he screwed with everyone I ever loved. I am not letting that dick do anything to you. We will fight back. But if you want some space and time, I will understand but please, God please don’t break up with me.”
Clay held your face in his hands and looked into your eyes, you could see that his eyes were tearing up too.
“Y/N, I love you…” You intervened “But Clay…”
“No, Y/N you don’t have to say it back. I just wanna let you know that there are people who love you and care about you so that you don’t do anything stupid. I meant to say this for a long time, but Y/N Y/L/N I am in love with you.”
You looked at him with pity in your eyes and said, “But I am a mess Clay, why would you love me?”
“Well, I love your mess. I love everything about you” replied Clay.
Clay kissed your forehead and engulfed you in a hug and caressed your back. You took a moment to realize it was fine for him to touch you. Since Bryce, you prevented every possible human touch because you lost trust. But this felt different. As he hugged you tightly instead of revolting back you hugged him back and started crying. You could feel his damp sweatshirt on his shoulder and a couple of Clay's tears on your shoulder.
“We can tell people whenever you are ready. It’s all gonna be okay.” He whispered.
At that moment you felt protected. You knew you could move past this. You knew everything will be fine and you will be able to face that asshole and get him punished for whatever he did. You knew it will be okay.
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