#zaiyami

[pinxiedust]

young Zaiyami Shademist, for @monkybuisness

sketch

[nightly-shademist]

You could have saved us all...

Its warm. Too warm. Sweat trickles down her brows. Lids flutter, exposing curious eyes. A bright orange hue stains her view. The sunrise? No. Shadows dance upon the walls, waltzing with the golden rays.

Blankets fall to the floor as the world continues to be blurred, muffled. A hand grabs for the door’s handle. The metal stuck to flesh with a roasting sizzle. A gasp. Pain spread through out her palm. Her hand retreated quickly within her shirt, using the cloth, she tried again. 

Success.

The door flew open only to expose the dance floor was indeed occupied by flames. “Father!?” The young elf barks and advances through the flames in a hurried, yet now mindful matter. “Kyn!?” 

Smoke was growing thick, slithering down her throat like poison. Coughing begins to overwhelm her. She had to get out. The front door, fallen to show her the way. Once outside, the nightmare only began. 

Bodies of the broken: men, women and children. All lay strewn across the cobbles, laying face down, each in their own pool of crimson life. 

Friends. Teachers. Students. Lovers. Fighters. Her own father. 

But where was she?

Heart stops for a few beats. Sound becomes a part of her world once more.

“Z-Zai-y-a” 

A hand weakly grasps for the girl’s leg. As it’s owner wheezes a plea. 

“Mother!” The elf drops towards the woman. A spitting image of herself. Older...battle-worn. “Where is Kyn?” 

The girls mother’s eyes grow narrow, the light quickly fading from her eyes. “Zaiyami...she is g-gone. They-they are all gone.” Blood slithers down her chin from her lips.

“Where? Who did this!? Whats going on!?” Zaiyami holds onto her mother’s shoulders.

The woman’s hands latch onto Zaiyami’s arms. “YOU COULD HAVE SAVED US ALL, ZAIYAMI! YOU HAD EVERYTHING YOU EVERY NEEDED!” Tears flood the woman’s eyes as her fingers start to slide down Zaiyami’s arms, scarlet stains painting her skin. “H-Ha-how many t-imes did I t-te-tell you? Y-you must f-fight for what is y-yours or you will lose...” The woman collapses to the ground before her. A thick cough, bubbles from with her mouth. “...everything.” 

Zaiyami clinches her teeth. “Where are you!?” Zaiyami stands tall, hands clinched.

A swoop of violet cloth catches her eye from behind. With all her strength she turns to face a cloaked figure, face half hidden behind a hood. More figures emerge from the rolling smoke, donning the same violet robes.  

Six...Seven...Eight...Nine...Ten. 

“Who are you?!

A sound of rushing wind. Contact. Blunt force. Time seemed to grow still. Zaiyami falls to her knees, greeting the ground after the sudden impact. Vision pulses from sharp to blurry in rhythm to her heart. Her chest falls. Cheek rested against the cobbles below...

...only for her eyes to greet her fallen father’s vacant stare. 

[yonwonton]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTkj312mr3c)

Say somethin, I'm giving up on you I'll be the one, if you want me to Anywhere, I would've followed you Say something, I'm giving up on you And I am feeling so small It was over my head I know nothing at all And I will stumble and fall I'm still learning to love Just starting to crawl Say something, I'm giving up on you I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you Anywhere, I would've followed you Say something, I'm giving up on you And I will swallow my pride You're the one that I love And I'm saying goodbye Say somethin, I'm giving up on you And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you And anywhere, I would have followed you Oh-oh-oh-oh say something, I'm giving up on you Say something, I'm giving up on you Say something

[nightly-shademist]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y82LPFf2Ka4)

[nightly-shademist]

Ermergerd I actually cried))

[nightly-shademist]

Time doesn’t heal all wounds. 1/?

“Your hair.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s getting longer.”

“I’ll cut it soon.”

“Don’t, I kinda like it.”

“So did she.”

There was a long pause between words. The air had grown cold again. It was only a matter of time anyway. Zaiyami’s hair had indeed gotten longer. She now had the ability to pull it back, though a few rogue strands slipped free to rest against her neck. Silver eyes held themselves narrow, as they always did. Though this time, they weren’t sizing anyone up. They were just expressing sadness. “I’m trying to forget her, Tiana. But she’s haunting me dreams, my thoughts. Her voice, her eyes, her lips, her touch.”

Tiana frowned, a sympathetic sigh slipping from her lips. “It was a long time ago, Zaiyami. You have mourned long enough. No one deserves the pain you put yourself through. It is okay to use her as inspiration, as a reason to keep going but thoughts of her are only crippling you.” Tiana knelt down next to Zaiyami who sat on the floor, both knees perked so that she could rest her arms upon them. A gentle hand was placed on the elf’s harm as a form of comfort. “She can’t rest if you don’t let her, you can’t live if you think of nothing but death.”

“It’s all my fault. You know? I could have saved her. I could have saved everyone...but.” Zaiyami grew tense. “I wasn’t strong enough, I wasn’t thinking. I only had my mind on one thing.” She pulled back, letting her fingers run around her eyes. Deep violet markings were a reminder of failure. They were smudged, unfinished, destroyed. “I was going to ask her to be mine that night. I was going to whisk her away under the moonlight. Start a new chapter.” Fingers fell from her face, clinching into fists. Tiana was quick to place her hands over those fists.

“It wasn’t meant to be, Zaiyami. You went back to Pandaria to defeat your inner demons, yet you are still eaten and battered by defeat. Something that was out of your control. Why? Why do you still hold on?” The elf sighed a heavy sigh before looking Tiana in the eyes.

“I never found her body.”

[nightly-shademist]

We meet again. (2/2)

They got settled in. Tiana sets at the large makeshift table. It looks to have been a crate used in many shipments. Stamps from Stormwind, Borean Tundra, and much more litter the side panels. On top of the table a lantern burns brightly illuminating what the small fireplace didn’t. The home was indeed small. Though it was practically empty. Zaiyami had dressed down, removing heaver sections of her armor and her swords. She opted to stand, her back presses against the wall, arms crossed. Her eyes were locked onto the fire place. She had grown silent again.

Tiana looks down towards the table, she has a half empty glass of wine before her. Though she didn’t drink anymore, her fingers dance along the rim. “Zaiyami...” Her voice causes the elf to twitch but even with the sudden voice, she couldn’t make eye contact. “I think you need to talk to Kistra. You need to find clarity. I know its not the same as Kyn-” She was cut off by Zaiyami’s glare. The elf almost seeming to snap to attention as Tiana continued to speak.

“Don’t.” Zaiyami’s voice didn’t match her face. The stern cold was whisked away by sadness. Her eyes drift away as hands wander up to her head, fingers grasping at her hair. Zaiyami’s back pressed even harder against the wall as she slid to greet the floor. Tiana offers a silent sigh and pushes herself up, walking to Zaiyami’s side. She keels down and places a hand upon Zaiyami’s knee just long enough so she could set.

“You need to talk about these things. If you keep them bottled up everything you trained for will go to waste.” A weak chuckle was given at the irony. “I should know. It took me several years to understand.” Tiana leans her head back against the wall, her gaze drifting off to the crackling fire. She was unsure of what to say for a moment but picks up somewhere else. “I understand what you said before, Zaiyami.” The girl swallows the lump within her throat as her fingers fiddled with the lining of her sleeve. Zaiyami said nothing, but offers her attention. Eyes watch Tiana out of their corners, brows furrowing, trying to understand where this was going. “You said you couldn’t give what you didn’t have.” Tiana looks up at Zaiyami. She offers a quivering smile, her eyes glazing over. “I thought you were being cold.” The girl shook her head. “You meant what you said. You can’t control who takes your heart. You will love...even if it kills you.” Tears slither down her tanned cheek. “I feel so selfish for wanting your time...your attention.” Tiana froze as she watches Zaiyami’s hand draw near. Her thumb swiping the tears from her cheek. She was so hard to read. Those silver eyes burn with intensity but her lips do not curl to a smile nor do they form words. Her intentions are confusing, yet Tiana felt comfort. Zaiyami pulls back as her gaze broke its hold on her.

There was a long pause. The sounds of the crackling fire seems to amplify in sound. The noises of the forest chime in creating a peaceful atmosphere.

“I see her. Every time I close my eyes. I see her when I look at Kistra. I hear her voice, whispering me things only she would think to say.” Zaiyami offers a heavy sigh, eyes falling closed. “I could not offer love to anyone while she lives on in my dreams.” Tiana places her hand on top of Zaiyami’s, slowly, as if she was expecting rejection. She was surprised to find, the elf’s hand didn’t move.

“She would want your happiness. Kistra too. I know I do. That means more to me than anything else.” Zaiyami’s fingers find themselves interlocking with Tiana’s. “You have friends. Though you say you can not love another...maybe you’ve forgotten that you can be, and are still loved.”  Zaiyami’s eyes open and look down to Tiana. Realization had hit her.

Hard.

The human rests her head upon Zaiyami’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.” The girl yawns a squeak of a yawn. “I’m really tired now.” A twitch tugs at the corner of Zaiyami’s lips before she pulls her hand out of Tiana’s grasp and moves to face her side. Her arm scoops itself under the woman’s legs as her other presses itself upon her back, lifting her from the floor.  A pivot, and a couple steps was all it took before reaching her bed. Gently, Zaiyami rests her down, pulling a single blanket over her. Tiana falls asleep almost the very second she hit the pillow. She was always good at that. Something Zaiyami never understood.

Feet carry her over to the table as eyes lock onto the half empty wine glass. Fingers raise the glass to her own lips, drinking the last of the wine. Resting the glass back upon the table her fingers run along the metal workings of the lantern. “Perhaps, you’re right.” Zaiyami closes her eyes for but a moment, her eyes suddenly feeling heavy. A figure came into her head. Long violet tresses, a flash of silver eyes. ‘Zaiyami’ Eyes shot open looking around the room. The figure was gone. It was merely Tiana mumbling as she rolled over upon the bed, pulling the sheets over her shoulder.

[nightly-shademist]

We meet again. (Part I)

Hustle. Time was lost. She was late. Inkwell was this night. She hadn’t seen Kistra for almost two whole weeks. Armor? Check. Swords? Check. A quick glance in the mirror? A hurried hand rustled snowy locks as if they could make her look any less of a mess. A twitch tugged at the corner of her lips. She was displeased, but it would just have to do. Only had an hour there, the sun was getting low in the sky.

Hand’s fumble with the latch as she opened the door. A ‘here we go again’ expression on her face. As she took at step outside, silver eyes locked with a pair of green.

“Zaiyami.” A woman spoke, happiness was being forced in her voice. She quivers. Sadness? Fear? Both?

“Tiana.” Sternness returns as Zaiyami’s eyes grow narrow. “What are you doing here?” She watches as the girl brought her arms upwards, her own hands lacing with each other. Tiana was nervous and very well should be.

“I-I wanted to check up on you! I-Isn’t that what doctors do? I finished my training! Finally ne-never thought I could do it, but here I am!” Tiana giggles as she looked up at Zaiyami. Though her already weak smile, crumbled as she looked over the woman. Zaiyami seemed to boil where she stood. Hands found themselves clinched into fists.

“You are such a fool.” Cold words slither from her lips and struck like venom. Tiana’s eyes grew wide as she took a step back. Though Zaiyami closes the gap between them. “You are hardly fit to call yourself a doctor let alone a monk.” The elf pulls at the bottom of her tunic, showing a wound that was just now closed. A fine red line was all that remained. “Kistra went back over your work. If she wouldn’t have, I’d be dead by now! The wound was not only stitched poorly but it was left to fester! You knew that, didn’t you?!” Zaiyami’s hands out stretched, grabbing a hold of the human’s shoulders. Fingers press hard enough to cause a reaction.

“I was doing my very best! I didn’t mean for it to get infected. There- there was no ill will I-I would never hurt you Zaiyami. I swear it!”  Tiana tries to move out of Zaiyami’s grasp but she couldn’t. The elf was latched on tight.

“I could have died!” Zaiyami’s face turned from anger to sadness. “But I didn’t.” Her hands fell away from Tiana’s shoulders. There was a long pause. Tiana was suffocating in confusion. Zaiyami’s body language was so hard to read. It was almost like she spoke and acted in riddles.

“Zaiyami, what are you-”

“I have places to be.”

“But- Zaiyami wh-”

“You’ve better be gone by the time I get back.” Zaiyami turned away from Tiana, heading back towards her small home.

“You wanted to die, Zaiyami?” Tiana spoke softly, confused. Brows knit as she took a step closer towards the elf. Her voice held genuine concern. Zaiyami stops, her hand pressing against the door. Eyes fall closed for but a moment. The air had grown cold. The sun now resting just over the horizon. “You...let it go long enough to fester. You must have known I would have done a bad job from the start or you would have had someone else look over it before you left. You’re too smart to not get it checked out.” Tiana’s face grew pale as worry strained in her voice. “Kistra found out and came to your rescue. You-” Her voice offered a crack. “You didn’t even ask her to look at it when you got back...did you?”

Zaiyami turned to look towards Tiana as she pushed open the door. The elf did not grace her with an answer, merely responded, “come inside, I’m sure you’re tired from your travels”.